Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
api.OpenSubtitles.org is deprecated, please
implement REST API from OpenSubtitles.com
2
00:00:23,164 --> 00:00:25,206
[military brass music playing]
3
00:01:01,122 --> 00:01:03,122
ASTÉRIX & OBÉLIX
THE MIDDLE KINGDOM
4
00:01:06,289 --> 00:01:08,807
[narrator] The year is 50 B.C.
5
00:01:08,831 --> 00:01:11,473
Gaul is entirely occupied by the Romans.
6
00:01:11,497 --> 00:01:12,515
Well,
7
00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:14,223
not entirely.
8
00:01:14,247 --> 00:01:16,598
One small village of indomitable Gauls
9
00:01:16,622 --> 00:01:19,331
still holds out against the invaders.
10
00:01:19,831 --> 00:01:22,598
And life isn't easy
for the Roman legionaries
11
00:01:22,622 --> 00:01:26,057
who garrison the fortified camps
of Totorum, Aquarium,
12
00:01:26,081 --> 00:01:28,206
Laudanum and Compendium.
13
00:01:31,539 --> 00:01:34,348
[man 1] ♪ Favourite thing that I like ♪
14
00:01:34,372 --> 00:01:38,807
♪ Is to go on a hike in the forest ♪
15
00:01:38,831 --> 00:01:43,307
♪ I like to go
With my buddy, with my... bro ♪
16
00:01:43,331 --> 00:01:44,932
Hey, that rhymes. Ha!
17
00:01:44,956 --> 00:01:47,640
[man 2] You know what, Obélix?
This life isn't healthy.
18
00:01:47,664 --> 00:01:49,390
- [Obélix] Huh?
- Too much meat.
19
00:01:49,414 --> 00:01:51,723
- Oof! Too much meat?
- Yeah.
20
00:01:51,747 --> 00:01:55,473
Wild boars for breakfast, lunch
and dinner, and then midnight snacks.
21
00:01:55,497 --> 00:01:57,348
And all that barley beer!
22
00:01:57,372 --> 00:01:59,098
I don't think it's all that good for us.
23
00:01:59,122 --> 00:02:02,140
- What else would we eat then?
- I don't know.
24
00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:06,372
We could balance it out a bit,
with, uh... vegetables.
25
00:02:08,206 --> 00:02:10,872
- Vegetables? Vegetables?
- Uh-huh.
26
00:02:12,164 --> 00:02:14,581
[Obélix laughs]
27
00:02:15,247 --> 00:02:18,206
Oh, you're so funny, Astérix!
28
00:02:19,289 --> 00:02:20,807
- You hear that, Dogmatix?
- [whining]
29
00:02:20,831 --> 00:02:22,390
Do you picture yourself chewing celery
30
00:02:22,414 --> 00:02:24,390
instead of a bone?
Like, "Hello, vegetables"?
31
00:02:24,414 --> 00:02:25,349
[laughs]
32
00:02:25,373 --> 00:02:27,057
Yeah, go ahead and laugh.
33
00:02:27,081 --> 00:02:30,598
Honestly, what is the point
of wrecking our health like this?
34
00:02:30,622 --> 00:02:32,581
And that magic potion...
35
00:02:33,122 --> 00:02:35,390
Where's the evidence
that it's safe to use?
36
00:02:35,414 --> 00:02:37,622
We don't have perspective. We just don't.
37
00:02:38,122 --> 00:02:40,414
And plus, do we even need it, you know?
38
00:02:42,914 --> 00:02:44,973
- You alright?
- No, I'm not.
39
00:02:44,997 --> 00:02:46,390
Look, it's not a huge deal,
40
00:02:46,414 --> 00:02:49,182
maybe a mixed salad now and then,
or mushrooms. Chestnuts?
41
00:02:49,206 --> 00:02:52,307
- Well, they're out of season...
- Shush.
42
00:02:52,331 --> 00:02:53,706
[sniffs vigorously]
43
00:02:54,622 --> 00:02:56,640
- [Astérix sighs]
- [comical music playing]
44
00:02:56,664 --> 00:02:59,473
You're carrying one already,
can't you leave the poor beasts alone?
45
00:02:59,497 --> 00:03:02,557
[growling]
46
00:03:02,581 --> 00:03:05,598
[metal tinkling]
47
00:03:05,622 --> 00:03:07,515
[quivering]
48
00:03:07,539 --> 00:03:10,557
Peekaboo, you ickle-wickle Romie-pomies!
49
00:03:10,581 --> 00:03:12,640
[barking]
50
00:03:12,664 --> 00:03:14,473
- Hail, Caesar.
- [soldier 1] Sorry, we're lost.
51
00:03:14,497 --> 00:03:16,557
We didn't know
we were so close to your village.
52
00:03:16,581 --> 00:03:18,789
Oh please,
I must've told you twenty times.
53
00:03:19,414 --> 00:03:20,432
- Did not.
- Did too.
54
00:03:20,456 --> 00:03:24,182
[soldier 2] You kept saying,
"I'm sick to death of these stupid Gauls."
55
00:03:24,206 --> 00:03:25,223
"They can kiss my scutum."
56
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:27,557
- Oh!
- [soldier 1] What's wrong with you?
57
00:03:27,581 --> 00:03:29,265
- [indistinct arguing]
- [Obélix] Wait here.
58
00:03:29,289 --> 00:03:30,598
No, no, no.
59
00:03:30,622 --> 00:03:32,247
Leave it to me.
60
00:03:32,997 --> 00:03:35,039
Let me demonstrate
just how much I need this.
61
00:03:37,789 --> 00:03:38,973
True power is here,
62
00:03:38,997 --> 00:03:40,706
and here.
63
00:03:41,206 --> 00:03:42,265
So you just sit over there,
64
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:44,848
relax, and watch and learn.
65
00:03:44,872 --> 00:03:47,081
[tense music playing]
66
00:03:47,664 --> 00:03:48,706
[soldier 1] Hiya.
67
00:03:49,872 --> 00:03:51,890
[cry of pain]
68
00:03:51,914 --> 00:03:53,640
[Obélix giggles]
69
00:03:53,664 --> 00:03:55,848
They got these helmets...
70
00:03:55,872 --> 00:03:57,307
I'm sorry, are you in or out?
71
00:03:57,331 --> 00:03:58,914
I've been told to stay out.
72
00:04:00,747 --> 00:04:02,265
No!
73
00:04:02,289 --> 00:04:04,331
[Astérix screams in pain]
74
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:10,404
- Come and help, don't be silly!
- Go on, pound him hard.
75
00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:14,206
[grunts]
76
00:04:15,372 --> 00:04:17,039
- Oh!
- [Obélix] Hey!
77
00:04:20,789 --> 00:04:23,015
[squeaking and peeping]
78
00:04:23,039 --> 00:04:24,081
[roars]
79
00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:25,664
Oh!
80
00:04:26,289 --> 00:04:28,432
[whistling]
81
00:04:28,456 --> 00:04:29,789
Come on, be a sport, would...
82
00:04:30,622 --> 00:04:32,122
- [Astérix sighs]
- Cheater!
83
00:04:32,747 --> 00:04:34,015
Dunno what you're on about.
84
00:04:34,039 --> 00:04:35,848
I was doing fine without the potion.
85
00:04:35,872 --> 00:04:37,497
[tutting]
86
00:04:42,581 --> 00:04:43,932
We don't have to do this.
87
00:04:43,956 --> 00:04:45,973
But... we do.
88
00:04:45,997 --> 00:04:47,914
[screams]
89
00:04:50,956 --> 00:04:53,331
{\an8}ASTÉRIX & OBÉLIX
THE MIDDLE KINGDOM
90
00:04:54,414 --> 00:04:56,747
{\an8}- [light-hearted music playing]
- [distant screaming]
91
00:04:59,372 --> 00:05:01,289
{\an8}[indistinct chatter]
92
00:05:16,039 --> 00:05:19,039
{\an8}[indistinct chatter continues]
93
00:05:22,039 --> 00:05:24,581
{\an8}♪ I love my big belt ♪
94
00:05:25,372 --> 00:05:27,414
{\an8}♪ To keep my lovely britches up! ♪
95
00:05:28,039 --> 00:05:29,640
{\an8}Why no customers?
96
00:05:29,664 --> 00:05:31,348
{\an8}- Product's not that fresh.
- [flies buzzing]
97
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:32,973
{\an8}- Are you fresh?
- What?
98
00:05:32,997 --> 00:05:34,890
{\an8}- Uh, nothing.
- [Obélix] Can you imagine,
99
00:05:34,914 --> 00:05:37,223
{\an8}Get a fix, I can't even
smoke my own boars inside!
100
00:05:37,247 --> 00:05:40,182
{\an8}Just because mister Astérix
has decided to quit eating them,
101
00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:41,973
- doesn't mean I have to.
- [laughs]
102
00:05:41,997 --> 00:05:43,807
[kid] Panacea!
103
00:05:43,831 --> 00:05:45,598
Panacea!
104
00:05:45,622 --> 00:05:47,932
- Panacea!
- [Panacea] Hi, girls.
105
00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:49,914
- Shall we go to the market?
- [girl] Yes!
106
00:05:52,081 --> 00:05:54,765
- [clears throat] Morning, Panacea.
- Morning, Obélix.
107
00:05:54,789 --> 00:05:55,997
Um, Panacea...
108
00:05:57,247 --> 00:05:58,932
[Obélix] I wanted to tell you...
109
00:05:58,956 --> 00:05:59,891
Mm-hmm?
110
00:05:59,915 --> 00:06:03,598
When I carved this menhir, I was thinking
of you, so I want you to have it.
111
00:06:03,622 --> 00:06:06,039
That's really nice of you,
but what would I do with it?
112
00:06:10,414 --> 00:06:11,539
Goodbye then.
113
00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,206
- She didn't take it.
- Hum?
114
00:06:15,914 --> 00:06:19,390
- The menhir, she didn't want it.
- What did you expect? It weighs a ton!
115
00:06:19,414 --> 00:06:21,807
What would she use it for?
An ankle bracelet?
116
00:06:21,831 --> 00:06:24,515
- Get a fix, your sickle's ready.
- Thanks, Fulliautomatix.
117
00:06:24,539 --> 00:06:25,682
Oh, enough of that.
118
00:06:25,706 --> 00:06:27,289
And let me tell you... I'll tell you...
119
00:06:28,497 --> 00:06:29,581
Come here.
120
00:06:30,081 --> 00:06:32,557
{\an8}♪ I'm on fire ♪
121
00:06:32,581 --> 00:06:36,182
{\an8}There's no reason for Astérix
not to have a varied diet as long as
122
00:06:36,206 --> 00:06:37,664
{\an8}he doesn't impose it on others.
123
00:06:38,747 --> 00:06:39,890
Get a fix, what are you doing?
124
00:06:39,914 --> 00:06:41,307
Huh?
125
00:06:41,331 --> 00:06:43,348
[comical music playing]
126
00:06:43,372 --> 00:06:44,390
Sinking, I believe.
127
00:06:44,414 --> 00:06:45,515
What're you doing that for?
128
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,098
It's quicksand, obviously.
129
00:06:47,122 --> 00:06:49,789
Nobody's ever reported
quicksand around here before.
130
00:06:50,581 --> 00:06:52,539
Perhaps it's because they'd already sunk!
131
00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:54,622
{\an8}[Cacofonix] Wagon in sight!
132
00:06:55,247 --> 00:06:58,331
{\an8}♪ Wagon in sight ♪
133
00:07:00,039 --> 00:07:00,891
{\an8}Excuse me a second.
134
00:07:00,915 --> 00:07:02,098
{\an8}♪ But I'm never hoarse ♪
135
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:05,765
{\an8}♪ Because my heart yearns to sing ♪
136
00:07:05,789 --> 00:07:10,015
{\an8}- Was it too hard for you to shut up?
- [Cacofonix holds the note]
137
00:07:10,039 --> 00:07:13,557
{\an8}[grunts]
138
00:07:13,581 --> 00:07:15,723
{\an8}First customer I'd had in days!
139
00:07:15,747 --> 00:07:17,557
{\an8}That's how long
your fish's been rotting there.
140
00:07:17,581 --> 00:07:20,015
{\an8}What? You saying my fish is rotten?
141
00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:22,247
{\an8}[serious music playing]
142
00:07:27,081 --> 00:07:28,706
{\an8}Let's go see who it is, huh?
143
00:07:51,289 --> 00:07:54,456
{\an8}FOR LOUISE AND MARCEL
144
00:07:54,956 --> 00:07:56,973
- Stay put, horsies.
- Bankruptis, what you doing here?
145
00:07:56,997 --> 00:07:58,807
- [Bankruptis] Shh!
- It's summertime.
146
00:07:58,831 --> 00:07:59,724
Were you ambushed?
147
00:07:59,748 --> 00:08:02,973
- [Astérix] And where's your uncle?
- Will you shut up, I mean it, not a word.
148
00:08:02,997 --> 00:08:04,723
[whispering] Listen to me! Okay?
149
00:08:04,747 --> 00:08:08,039
Friends, I just came from China.
I need your help with this.
150
00:08:08,706 --> 00:08:10,932
- You've got to see this.
- Why are you blonde?
151
00:08:10,956 --> 00:08:13,973
Now that's what I need to tell you.
I'm a Gaul. I've always been a Gaul.
152
00:08:13,997 --> 00:08:16,182
- Pff!
- So please, play along.
153
00:08:16,206 --> 00:08:18,307
Just play along with it,
would you, please?
154
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,432
I will explain. This way.
155
00:08:19,456 --> 00:08:22,747
- [mysterious music playing]
- [indistinct chatter]
156
00:08:26,164 --> 00:08:28,581
[crowd gasps]
157
00:08:29,289 --> 00:08:30,390
They're strange.
158
00:08:30,414 --> 00:08:33,598
[Bankruptis] Now this magnificent
young woman asleep on the shoulder,
159
00:08:33,622 --> 00:08:34,890
she's a princess.
160
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:38,057
Name of Sa See. The very daughter
of the Empress of China.
161
00:08:38,081 --> 00:08:40,432
[crowd gasps]
162
00:08:40,456 --> 00:08:42,098
You do know where China is, right?
163
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,265
- Absolutely.
- [scattered murmurs]
164
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:44,598
Right.
165
00:08:44,622 --> 00:08:46,390
- Is she a princess too?
- [Bankruptis] No.
166
00:08:46,414 --> 00:08:48,890
She's her bodyguard, her name's Ka Ra Tay.
167
00:08:48,914 --> 00:08:52,390
Let me tell you she's a right fury.
She beat up everybody we met.
168
00:08:52,414 --> 00:08:55,247
She beat the Scythians. And she beat
the Parthians, she beat the Huns.
169
00:08:56,039 --> 00:08:57,390
She's a beautiful woman.
170
00:08:57,414 --> 00:09:00,182
A woman bodyguard?
[laughs] That's pretty funny.
171
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,848
That's it, laugh then, go on.
172
00:09:01,872 --> 00:09:04,807
Since you're such an alpha male,
we'd all love a demonstration.
173
00:09:04,831 --> 00:09:06,140
- Huh?
- Alright.
174
00:09:06,164 --> 00:09:08,223
Yeah, see if you can grab her hand,
alpha male.
175
00:09:08,247 --> 00:09:10,247
- [Bankruptis] Go ahead. Be my guest.
- Alright.
176
00:09:12,914 --> 00:09:13,723
[cracking]
177
00:09:13,747 --> 00:09:14,683
[groans]
178
00:09:14,707 --> 00:09:16,348
[all laugh]
179
00:09:16,372 --> 00:09:17,497
Voilà.
180
00:09:20,997 --> 00:09:23,956
["Say You, Say Me" playing]
181
00:09:28,247 --> 00:09:31,372
♪ Say you, say me ♪
182
00:09:34,081 --> 00:09:35,807
♪ Say it for always ♪
183
00:09:35,831 --> 00:09:37,473
[wings chittering]
184
00:09:37,497 --> 00:09:39,747
♪ That's the way it should be ♪
185
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:43,706
You been drinking potion?
186
00:09:44,206 --> 00:09:46,223
- No.
- Mm-hmm.
187
00:09:46,247 --> 00:09:49,331
- What's happening?
- What's happening is quite obvious.
188
00:09:49,914 --> 00:09:52,265
I'll tell you this, do not go there.
189
00:09:52,289 --> 00:09:53,723
The princess and I...
190
00:09:53,747 --> 00:09:56,015
We're a bit more than friends,
know what I'm saying?
191
00:09:56,039 --> 00:09:57,247
- You are?
- Yeah.
192
00:09:57,789 --> 00:09:58,789
Princess?
193
00:10:01,831 --> 00:10:03,539
We have arrived.
194
00:10:05,206 --> 00:10:06,348
[crowd] Oh!
195
00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:08,640
[Vitalstatistix]
What's the meaning of this?
196
00:10:08,664 --> 00:10:10,307
[boy] Oh no, here comes the chief!
197
00:10:10,331 --> 00:10:12,057
Now this is Vitalstatistix,
198
00:10:12,081 --> 00:10:13,932
he's the chief of us Gauls, he's the boss.
199
00:10:13,956 --> 00:10:15,682
[grunts]
200
00:10:15,706 --> 00:10:17,557
In the name of Toutatis,
you've got some nerve.
201
00:10:17,581 --> 00:10:21,348
Where's your uncle Ekonomikrisis?
He swindled me on a silk chiffon.
202
00:10:21,372 --> 00:10:22,640
- How incredible.
- [Impedimenta] Yeah.
203
00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:25,015
He said, "Relax, it'll stretch."
Do I look relaxed?
204
00:10:25,039 --> 00:10:26,348
- Clearly not.
- Where's the swindler?
205
00:10:26,372 --> 00:10:29,372
Ow! No! He sent me, all right?
Can I tell you the story?
206
00:10:29,956 --> 00:10:32,390
Let me introduce Princess Sa See.
207
00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:35,390
The daughter of the Empress of China!
208
00:10:35,414 --> 00:10:36,890
[crowd] Oh!
209
00:10:36,914 --> 00:10:38,390
Who's the girl?
210
00:10:38,414 --> 00:10:40,682
- Thank you, Bankruptix.
- Welcome.
211
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:44,390
Chief Vitalstatistix. Allow me to explain
why I have come to you.
212
00:10:44,414 --> 00:10:47,057
- Get a fix, how far's China?
- Very far!
213
00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:49,372
It is where the sun comes up, over yonder.
214
00:10:50,581 --> 00:10:51,581
Ah.
215
00:10:55,414 --> 00:10:58,015
[narrator] As the tale of the Princess
is likely to be rather long,
216
00:10:58,039 --> 00:10:59,765
and fraught with emotion,
217
00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:03,390
let's have a somewhat condensed
account instead.
218
00:11:03,414 --> 00:11:06,057
The Princess lives
with her mother, the Empress.
219
00:11:06,081 --> 00:11:07,973
Ever since the Emperor died,
220
00:11:07,997 --> 00:11:11,473
the Empress has struggled to keep control
over the Six Kingdoms.
221
00:11:11,497 --> 00:11:13,890
Even as beloved as she is by her people,
222
00:11:13,914 --> 00:11:17,015
the Empress must face the ambitions
of some of the princes,
223
00:11:17,039 --> 00:11:19,122
who secretly covet her throne.
224
00:11:19,706 --> 00:11:22,848
The troubles began
on Princess Sa See's birthday,
225
00:11:22,872 --> 00:11:25,640
the girl you saw earlier, in the village.
226
00:11:25,664 --> 00:11:27,831
This is what we call a flashback.
227
00:11:30,747 --> 00:11:31,558
[sighs]
228
00:11:31,582 --> 00:11:33,206
Another vase?
229
00:11:33,831 --> 00:11:34,641
[grunts]
230
00:11:34,665 --> 00:11:36,140
[Sa See] Every year is the same.
231
00:11:36,164 --> 00:11:38,098
Who'd be interested
in a collection of vases?
232
00:11:38,122 --> 00:11:40,723
I'm twenty now,
and I've never been out of this palace.
233
00:11:40,747 --> 00:11:42,223
I'm tired of these gardens and guards!
234
00:11:42,247 --> 00:11:44,390
Your security is at stake.
You know this well...
235
00:11:44,414 --> 00:11:49,140
Father promised me I would visit Lutetia
all its boutiques, small taverns...
236
00:11:49,164 --> 00:11:50,848
I yearn to travel to Gaul!
237
00:11:50,872 --> 00:11:54,348
We have spoken about this.
Such a journey is too dangerous.
238
00:11:54,372 --> 00:11:56,289
The answer is no.
239
00:11:56,997 --> 00:11:58,581
Here. Open this one.
240
00:12:00,372 --> 00:12:02,223
A gold coin stamped with your likeness.
241
00:12:02,247 --> 00:12:03,497
The first ever minted.
242
00:12:04,122 --> 00:12:06,432
Will it buy a dress
in the capital of Gaul?
243
00:12:06,456 --> 00:12:07,456
Sa See...
244
00:12:14,706 --> 00:12:16,497
[Empress] Prince Deng Tsin Qin!
245
00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:19,081
[mysterious music playing]
246
00:12:19,664 --> 00:12:20,807
I'm told you have levied
247
00:12:20,831 --> 00:12:22,390
a new tax over your kingdom,
248
00:12:22,414 --> 00:12:24,182
whilst your people suffer famine?
249
00:12:24,206 --> 00:12:26,057
If I may be so bold, your Majesty...
250
00:12:26,081 --> 00:12:28,057
Julius Caesar's been taxing the heck out
251
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,140
of his own empire
and nobody's complaining.
252
00:12:30,164 --> 00:12:32,640
Plus, where's the pleasure
without pain, as my countrymen say.
253
00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:33,973
Who is this man?
254
00:12:33,997 --> 00:12:37,057
This is Scar Dee Kat.
My new strategic counsellor.
255
00:12:37,081 --> 00:12:40,223
He's from Rome,
where he held very high station.
256
00:12:40,247 --> 00:12:42,057
Put the people of China
257
00:12:42,081 --> 00:12:43,956
before the twisted schemes of a Roman.
258
00:12:44,622 --> 00:12:46,914
Of course, your Imperial Majesty.
259
00:12:47,664 --> 00:12:48,932
Before I withdraw,
260
00:12:48,956 --> 00:12:51,723
have you given any thought
to my proposal of marriage?
261
00:12:51,747 --> 00:12:53,432
Yes. The Princess and I discussed it.
262
00:12:53,456 --> 00:12:54,581
And...?
263
00:12:55,456 --> 00:12:56,515
We had a good laugh.
264
00:12:56,539 --> 00:12:58,557
[laughter]
265
00:12:58,581 --> 00:13:01,622
[Scar Dee Kat] Ah!
"He who makes woman laugh..." [laughs]
266
00:13:02,456 --> 00:13:04,289
Apologies.
267
00:13:04,872 --> 00:13:06,914
If your Majesty
and her daughter find it amusing,
268
00:13:07,706 --> 00:13:09,223
then let it be so.
269
00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:10,664
[mysterious music playing]
270
00:13:15,081 --> 00:13:16,081
[Empress] Ka Ra Tay.
271
00:13:19,622 --> 00:13:20,956
My faithful warrior.
272
00:13:21,622 --> 00:13:23,039
Summon my daughter.
273
00:13:23,789 --> 00:13:25,956
[lively music playing]
274
00:13:46,622 --> 00:13:48,307
[Ekonomikrisis] Look, we are in China.
275
00:13:48,331 --> 00:13:50,557
The Chinese love all things Gaul,
therefore we are Gauls,
276
00:13:50,581 --> 00:13:51,598
I can't be any clearer.
277
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:54,164
To a native Phoenician,
it's humiliating, Ekonomikrisis.
278
00:13:55,372 --> 00:13:57,223
The name's Ekonomikrisix!
279
00:13:57,247 --> 00:13:58,640
Get it through your thick skulls!
280
00:13:58,664 --> 00:14:01,473
You're Over mix, and you're Premix! Right?
281
00:14:01,497 --> 00:14:03,956
And all three of us are Gauls.
"Comprendix"?
282
00:14:04,539 --> 00:14:07,456
- It's always us making the effort.
- [Ekonomikrisis] Always you, huh?
283
00:14:09,789 --> 00:14:11,307
- [both laughing]
- Is that funny to you?
284
00:14:11,331 --> 00:14:13,348
Think that's funny? Think I'm amused?
285
00:14:13,372 --> 00:14:14,598
- Being blonde?
- [Over mix] No.
286
00:14:14,622 --> 00:14:17,765
So grab these papyrus sheets,
and go hand them out in town. Stat!
287
00:14:17,789 --> 00:14:19,890
Go on. Yallah, I mean, get on with it.
288
00:14:19,914 --> 00:14:21,890
Put your helmets on! Go!
289
00:14:21,914 --> 00:14:23,723
On your way now.
290
00:14:23,747 --> 00:14:25,206
China is ours, yeah?
291
00:14:25,706 --> 00:14:27,622
Hey, hey, hey. What you snooping at?
292
00:14:28,414 --> 00:14:31,206
What you think you're doing?
You touch, you pay. That's the rule.
293
00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:33,390
Are these real Louboutix?
294
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:35,182
"Are those real Louboutix?"
295
00:14:35,206 --> 00:14:37,807
Of course they're real,
have you ever seen soles like this before?
296
00:14:37,831 --> 00:14:40,432
They're red-hot, and so are my prices,
so if it's too much,
297
00:14:40,456 --> 00:14:42,664
go check out Cheaptrix next door.
298
00:14:43,414 --> 00:14:44,973
Right, get outta my store now.
299
00:14:44,997 --> 00:14:47,223
- Go on, give us some air.
- [Ekonomikrisis] Whoa!
300
00:14:47,247 --> 00:14:49,223
That's a booboo. Mother of all booboos.
301
00:14:49,247 --> 00:14:51,307
Please forgive him, Majesty. Forgive him.
302
00:14:51,331 --> 00:14:55,098
He's my nephew.
He has the same temper as his mama.
303
00:14:55,122 --> 00:14:56,640
- Right.
- That's what everybody says.
304
00:14:56,664 --> 00:14:58,807
And of course, the sandals are yours.
305
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:00,848
There's no charge, I'll take it...
306
00:15:00,872 --> 00:15:02,015
- Ow!
- ...out of his wages.
307
00:15:02,039 --> 00:15:04,098
- I felt pain.
- You did have it coming.
308
00:15:04,122 --> 00:15:06,164
Ekonomikrisix, I'm at your service.
309
00:15:06,747 --> 00:15:08,598
[whispering] Nobody shakes.
Put the hand away.
310
00:15:08,622 --> 00:15:10,223
- Nobody shakes.
- Nobody shakes.
311
00:15:10,247 --> 00:15:13,223
This is all a terrible mistake, Princess.
312
00:15:13,247 --> 00:15:17,265
Whoa. You're sublime. Um. Um... um.
313
00:15:17,289 --> 00:15:18,973
I'm Bankruptix. I'm the nephew.
314
00:15:18,997 --> 00:15:21,140
With my Mama's temper.
315
00:15:21,164 --> 00:15:24,015
And also... her eyes.
316
00:15:24,039 --> 00:15:26,890
[swooshing]
317
00:15:26,914 --> 00:15:28,598
I would've loved
to have blonde hair like you.
318
00:15:28,622 --> 00:15:32,557
It was never really my choice, Princess.
I was always this way.
319
00:15:32,581 --> 00:15:34,265
Nature only is to blame.
320
00:15:34,289 --> 00:15:36,182
[clears throat] If your imperial Majesty,
321
00:15:36,206 --> 00:15:38,307
uh, could put all this behind us,
322
00:15:38,331 --> 00:15:41,890
if you would consent to sample
some of our famous Gallic wines,
323
00:15:41,914 --> 00:15:43,932
it would hon our us greatly.
324
00:15:43,956 --> 00:15:45,081
[Ekonomikrisis] Do come in.
325
00:15:46,081 --> 00:15:50,206
Let's start with a superior vintage,
to hon our your majestic imperiosity.
326
00:15:51,456 --> 00:15:54,098
[sniffs] Its nose is fruity.
327
00:15:54,122 --> 00:15:56,140
Full of sunshine.
328
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,640
Notes of pine and cool shade.
329
00:15:57,664 --> 00:15:59,973
With a tinge of chestnut. [Sniffs]
330
00:15:59,997 --> 00:16:01,057
Banana too.
331
00:16:01,081 --> 00:16:02,848
Dried dates, perhaps.
332
00:16:02,872 --> 00:16:05,848
It's more of a fruit salad
than a... a wine, really.
333
00:16:05,872 --> 00:16:06,849
WINE TASTING
334
00:16:06,873 --> 00:16:09,372
[lively music playing]
335
00:16:10,164 --> 00:16:11,456
I LOVE GAUL
336
00:16:21,289 --> 00:16:22,099
I'll buy it all.
337
00:16:22,123 --> 00:16:24,206
- Ah!
- [ding]
338
00:16:25,539 --> 00:16:28,682
- [Sa See] Are these Gallic perfumes?
- Absolutely, they are indeed.
339
00:16:28,706 --> 00:16:30,765
All our perfumes come from Gaul.
340
00:16:30,789 --> 00:16:32,664
Like myself and my staff.
341
00:16:33,581 --> 00:16:35,307
This is the latest fragrance
342
00:16:35,331 --> 00:16:38,223
the ladies are crazy for in Gaul. Amphora.
343
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,265
Amphora.
344
00:16:40,289 --> 00:16:41,348
I adore-a.
345
00:16:41,372 --> 00:16:42,682
And I'm all for-a.
346
00:16:42,706 --> 00:16:45,140
- [Deng Tsin Qin] Archers, fire!
- Hey, watch out!
347
00:16:45,164 --> 00:16:47,432
[screaming]
348
00:16:47,456 --> 00:16:49,372
- [tense music playing]
- [screaming]
349
00:16:53,122 --> 00:16:54,515
Sa See, are you hurt?
350
00:16:54,539 --> 00:16:55,932
No, Mother, I'm fine.
351
00:16:55,956 --> 00:16:58,640
- Bankruptis, everything okay?
- Yeah, I'm all good.
352
00:16:58,664 --> 00:17:00,015
I'm asking about the goods!
353
00:17:00,039 --> 00:17:01,098
Cheers, mate.
354
00:17:01,122 --> 00:17:02,515
[Deng Tsin Qin] Hey, Empress?
355
00:17:02,539 --> 00:17:03,848
Come out with your hands up.
356
00:17:03,872 --> 00:17:06,598
We wouldn't want to hurt anybody.
357
00:17:06,622 --> 00:17:07,682
We got eyes on you!
358
00:17:07,706 --> 00:17:09,122
Yeah, both kinds.
359
00:17:11,372 --> 00:17:14,098
Yeah because...
my eyes are more like, round,
360
00:17:14,122 --> 00:17:15,664
and you guys are, like uh...
361
00:17:16,456 --> 00:17:17,456
Forget it.
362
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:20,974
Is there another exit?
363
00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,640
Yes. I have a secret passage
364
00:17:22,664 --> 00:17:25,473
in case of customs checks.
I mean in case of check...
365
00:17:25,497 --> 00:17:28,081
checking for fires.
In case of fire. A fire exit.
366
00:17:28,872 --> 00:17:31,265
Ka Ra Tay,
I entrust you my daughter. Save her!
367
00:17:31,289 --> 00:17:32,973
Mother, no! You have to escape too.
368
00:17:32,997 --> 00:17:35,098
The Empress does not flee. Save yourself.
369
00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:37,140
The scoundrel is after you.
370
00:17:37,164 --> 00:17:38,164
Let's go.
371
00:17:39,914 --> 00:17:42,432
- [Bankruptis] Bye, Princess.
- Quit that. I'm gonna stay here.
372
00:17:42,456 --> 00:17:44,307
A good merchant never abandons his stock.
373
00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:46,765
Captain of the ship kinda thing, right?
374
00:17:46,789 --> 00:17:47,766
Well, yeah.
375
00:17:47,790 --> 00:17:49,223
You get to home-base,
and bring back the guys.
376
00:17:49,247 --> 00:17:50,598
What? Uncle Mahmood?
377
00:17:50,622 --> 00:17:52,432
Not him, not Uncle Mahmood,
this home base.
378
00:17:52,456 --> 00:17:53,682
This home base?
379
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,973
- That's the other end of the planet!
- You should be on your way.
380
00:17:55,997 --> 00:17:57,997
- [inhales, grunts]
- Hey, wait!
381
00:17:58,706 --> 00:18:01,973
Keep your eyes on the Princess.
We won't lose our biggest sale ever.
382
00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:05,723
Imagine. If you save
the Princess of China...
383
00:18:05,747 --> 00:18:07,456
[soft music playing]
384
00:18:09,664 --> 00:18:12,098
- Ah.
- Ah, yeah.
385
00:18:12,122 --> 00:18:14,432
- Yeah... I'll understand on the way.
- [Ekonomikrisis] Go!
386
00:18:14,456 --> 00:18:16,039
[Bankruptis] Take care, unkie.
387
00:18:16,706 --> 00:18:17,706
[grunts]
388
00:18:18,122 --> 00:18:19,247
[sighs]
389
00:18:20,622 --> 00:18:22,890
I happen to be an amateur pugilist.
390
00:18:22,914 --> 00:18:23,891
Let me deal with this.
391
00:18:23,915 --> 00:18:25,765
- [lively music playing]
- So, fellas?
392
00:18:25,789 --> 00:18:27,872
- Hassling ladies, are we?
- [punch landing]
393
00:18:28,664 --> 00:18:29,914
[groans]
394
00:18:31,122 --> 00:18:32,122
[sighs]
395
00:18:32,706 --> 00:18:34,706
So I left the room, and then...
396
00:18:35,747 --> 00:18:36,683
What happened?
397
00:18:36,707 --> 00:18:39,890
- You got kicked in the head.
- Ah, of course!
398
00:18:39,914 --> 00:18:41,015
That's what happened.
399
00:18:41,039 --> 00:18:43,098
So, are we having fun yet, Empress?
400
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,265
Excuse me just one second,
401
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:46,765
but who on earth are you?
Because none of this makes much sense.
402
00:18:46,789 --> 00:18:48,664
I'm totally lost, I'm baffled here.
403
00:18:49,789 --> 00:18:51,765
- So then?
- The princess is still missing.
404
00:18:51,789 --> 00:18:54,057
And if she's hiding, she's smart.
405
00:18:54,081 --> 00:18:56,581
Dodging us like a sly little fishy...
406
00:18:57,789 --> 00:19:00,348
Find her, offer a reward!
Tell the whole kingdom!
407
00:19:00,372 --> 00:19:03,432
I want her alive!
For our beautiful forced wedding!
408
00:19:03,456 --> 00:19:06,390
[laughs]
409
00:19:06,414 --> 00:19:08,015
I know my daughter.
410
00:19:08,039 --> 00:19:09,348
She will seek her revenge.
411
00:19:09,372 --> 00:19:11,557
Now that's a scary thought.
Spoiled princess,
412
00:19:11,581 --> 00:19:12,640
who's never been outside!
413
00:19:12,664 --> 00:19:14,765
- That's my bride you're talking about.
- Sorry, Master.
414
00:19:14,789 --> 00:19:16,807
Yeah I'm sorry too,
but tell us what's going on,
415
00:19:16,831 --> 00:19:18,765
I'm so puzzled, as in totally perplexed.
416
00:19:18,789 --> 00:19:20,765
I'll have you decapitated, Empress.
417
00:19:20,789 --> 00:19:22,057
You'll decapitate no one.
418
00:19:22,081 --> 00:19:23,765
Where's your manners?
You don't do that.
419
00:19:23,789 --> 00:19:26,557
He's not wrong,
you can't be the one to kill the Empress.
420
00:19:26,581 --> 00:19:27,932
[Deng Tsin Qin] Why not?
421
00:19:27,956 --> 00:19:31,432
It's not that simple, because the Princes
in the other kingdoms hate your guts.
422
00:19:31,456 --> 00:19:33,140
They claim you're not Emperor material,
423
00:19:33,164 --> 00:19:35,432
and also, their words not mine,
you're physically ugly,
424
00:19:35,456 --> 00:19:36,973
and you've got an itty-bitty little...
425
00:19:36,997 --> 00:19:40,182
- Don't you dare.
- I meant army. You have a small army.
426
00:19:40,206 --> 00:19:41,515
It's the smallest one out there.
427
00:19:41,539 --> 00:19:43,432
If you try to beat them,
you've got zero chance.
428
00:19:43,456 --> 00:19:46,182
[Deng Tsin Qin] I'm assuming you wouldn't
say this unless you had a plan?
429
00:19:46,206 --> 00:19:47,622
Well assumed.
430
00:19:48,539 --> 00:19:50,122
- And my idea...
- Hush!
431
00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:53,390
- Right, haul them in! Let's go!
- No.
432
00:19:53,414 --> 00:19:54,765
- Take it easy.
- [Deng Tsin Qin] Move!
433
00:19:54,789 --> 00:19:57,473
Easy, there's an Empress here,
and the jars are breakable.
434
00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:59,473
[Deng Tsin Qin] China is ours!
435
00:19:59,497 --> 00:20:02,622
- [evil laughter]
- [emotional music playing]
436
00:20:22,539 --> 00:20:23,956
[sobbing]
437
00:20:31,456 --> 00:20:32,932
[Bankruptis] It's gonna be fine, Princess.
438
00:20:32,956 --> 00:20:35,723
And you can count on me. Okay? You and me.
439
00:20:35,747 --> 00:20:38,223
- [mutters in pain]
- [bones cracking]
440
00:20:38,247 --> 00:20:39,848
[Bankruptis] Don't worry. We'll help you!
441
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:41,515
Because it's a known fact,
442
00:20:41,539 --> 00:20:43,557
us Gauls, we just love helping others.
443
00:20:43,581 --> 00:20:45,015
No!
444
00:20:45,039 --> 00:20:46,890
No, no, no and no!
445
00:20:46,914 --> 00:20:48,515
[Vitalstatistix] Out of the question!
446
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:51,515
Dunno about you, but I found
this story extremely long-winded.
447
00:20:51,539 --> 00:20:56,348
And frankly, by Belen us, why does everyone
always have to come to us for support?
448
00:20:56,372 --> 00:20:58,348
Hold on now, Vitalstatistix,
449
00:20:58,372 --> 00:20:59,723
it's a tradition.
450
00:20:59,747 --> 00:21:02,432
We provide assistance
to those who need it.
451
00:21:02,456 --> 00:21:04,515
Including our good friend Bank...
452
00:21:04,539 --> 00:21:06,140
- Ruptis.
- ...Ruptis.
453
00:21:06,164 --> 00:21:09,473
- Ruptix.
- Right, well... it's a no, that's it.
454
00:21:09,497 --> 00:21:11,956
It's often been yes.
But this time, it's no.
455
00:21:12,581 --> 00:21:15,515
[Vitalstatistix] I've got a bad feeling.
China's far away, we've never been!
456
00:21:15,539 --> 00:21:17,265
Nor our forefathers!
Where it is, we don't know.
457
00:21:17,289 --> 00:21:18,224
Sure we do, come on.
458
00:21:18,248 --> 00:21:19,723
Yeah, even I know where it is.
459
00:21:19,747 --> 00:21:22,497
It's over yonder.
Where the sun rises, huh?
460
00:21:23,247 --> 00:21:24,890
[Obélix] He doesn't even know that?
[laughs]
461
00:21:24,914 --> 00:21:26,682
I'm not sure where it is and I'm the boss.
462
00:21:26,706 --> 00:21:28,807
Oh Chief, I respect your decision.
463
00:21:28,831 --> 00:21:31,265
I will take my leave now
to save my mother and homeland.
464
00:21:31,289 --> 00:21:33,372
- [Bankruptis] No, no, no.
- Please wait, Princess...
465
00:21:35,414 --> 00:21:36,414
Well, I could go.
466
00:21:36,997 --> 00:21:39,831
As it happens, I'm free at the moment.
467
00:21:40,831 --> 00:21:44,057
Well, I'm free too, at the moment.
I wouldn't mind going.
468
00:21:44,081 --> 00:21:46,247
Hey, you two! Who's on the chair here?
469
00:21:47,539 --> 00:21:49,390
Are you village chief now?
470
00:21:49,414 --> 00:21:51,348
Alright, I've heard enough of this.
471
00:21:51,372 --> 00:21:53,973
- Still no!
- Have you completely lost your mind?
472
00:21:53,997 --> 00:21:56,140
Fine chief you are!
473
00:21:56,164 --> 00:21:58,015
Ignoring the anguish of an innocent girl.
474
00:21:58,039 --> 00:22:00,015
- Oh no, Mimenta...
- Don't Mimenta me!
475
00:22:00,039 --> 00:22:02,914
- This how you welcome friends from China?
- Seriously.
476
00:22:03,497 --> 00:22:06,973
[Impedimenta] Your Gaul's not pretty!
All because China is too far away?
477
00:22:06,997 --> 00:22:09,223
It's not you making the trip,
so what do you care?
478
00:22:09,247 --> 00:22:10,581
- [sighs]
- Am I wrong?
479
00:22:11,081 --> 00:22:12,432
It's Astérix and Obélix, as usual.
480
00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:13,932
[laughter]
481
00:22:13,956 --> 00:22:16,432
Get this, if some idiots ever write
the story of our village,
482
00:22:16,456 --> 00:22:19,890
rest assured no one'll be calling it
Adventures of Vitalstatistix the Gaul.
483
00:22:19,914 --> 00:22:21,598
Even Dogmatix travels more than you!
484
00:22:21,622 --> 00:22:23,557
- [laughter]
- Do you hear that, Dogmatix?
485
00:22:23,581 --> 00:22:25,057
[barking]
486
00:22:25,081 --> 00:22:26,432
[laughter]
487
00:22:26,456 --> 00:22:27,640
Oh man. That's brutal.
488
00:22:27,664 --> 00:22:30,057
Sure, when it's all about
magic potion and moustaches,
489
00:22:30,081 --> 00:22:31,140
then you're on board,
490
00:22:31,164 --> 00:22:33,456
but when things become delicate,
you disappear!
491
00:22:35,414 --> 00:22:36,414
[grunts]
492
00:22:37,456 --> 00:22:39,331
[grunt]
493
00:22:42,664 --> 00:22:43,641
Okay, go ahead, go on.
494
00:22:43,665 --> 00:22:46,057
- Hurray!
- [sigh of relief]
495
00:22:46,081 --> 00:22:48,473
- [joyful babbling]
- Thank you. I can't thank you enough.
496
00:22:48,497 --> 00:22:51,372
- [lyre]
- ♪ My dear companions as you leave ♪
497
00:22:52,331 --> 00:22:53,557
[sighs]
498
00:22:53,581 --> 00:22:55,872
♪ My heart must come to realise ♪
499
00:22:57,414 --> 00:22:59,182
♪ It must be worn upon my sleeve... ♪
500
00:22:59,206 --> 00:23:01,164
[yelps]
501
00:23:01,872 --> 00:23:04,831
[epic music playing]
502
00:23:08,581 --> 00:23:12,098
[narrator] Meanwhile, in the eternal,
and well-irrigated city of Rome,
503
00:23:12,122 --> 00:23:15,432
we join Julius Caesar
in his magnificent palace,
504
00:23:15,456 --> 00:23:18,973
revelling in domestic bliss
with the powerful Queen of Egypt,
505
00:23:18,997 --> 00:23:22,057
the gorgeous, mild-mannered Cleopatra.
506
00:23:22,081 --> 00:23:26,581
[Cleopatra] I have had it!
You hear me? I have had it!
507
00:23:31,956 --> 00:23:33,307
Pray tell what all this is about?
508
00:23:33,331 --> 00:23:36,015
I'm packing all my things
and going back home.
509
00:23:36,039 --> 00:23:37,747
I should have listened to Mummy.
510
00:23:39,164 --> 00:23:41,057
Now that we're over, I can say it.
511
00:23:41,081 --> 00:23:43,348
- There is someone else.
- Someone else?
512
00:23:43,372 --> 00:23:44,890
[gasps]
513
00:23:44,914 --> 00:23:46,539
[Caesar] You can't be serious!
514
00:23:47,831 --> 00:23:49,747
What do you mean, there's someone else?
515
00:23:50,622 --> 00:23:53,223
What do you mean?
Is this about Infidelitatis?
516
00:23:53,247 --> 00:23:54,622
That is right.
517
00:23:56,414 --> 00:23:57,497
And...
518
00:23:58,831 --> 00:24:01,664
and for whom
would you leave the Great Caesar?
519
00:24:03,039 --> 00:24:04,223
Tabascos!
520
00:24:04,247 --> 00:24:06,390
- [Greek music playing]
- [Caesar] Tabascos?
521
00:24:06,414 --> 00:24:07,598
The Greek guy?
522
00:24:07,622 --> 00:24:11,057
[laughter]
523
00:24:11,081 --> 00:24:13,223
Tabascos, the Greek.
524
00:24:13,247 --> 00:24:16,206
So you would be prepared
to leave the Great Caesar...
525
00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:19,747
for the pecs of a common gym teacher?
526
00:24:21,497 --> 00:24:24,497
Very well, we'll see about that
after the lions.
527
00:24:25,164 --> 00:24:27,622
Don't you dare whack my Tabascos!
528
00:24:28,247 --> 00:24:29,723
I love him, you understand?
529
00:24:29,747 --> 00:24:31,456
What... What's that, you love him?
530
00:24:32,872 --> 00:24:34,112
What do you mean, you love him?
531
00:24:35,122 --> 00:24:37,390
What could he possibly have
that I don't, huh?
532
00:24:37,414 --> 00:24:39,307
He is a world-famous athlete.
533
00:24:39,331 --> 00:24:41,807
As for you, outside of Rome and Gaul,
nobody knows you.
534
00:24:41,831 --> 00:24:42,808
Oof.
535
00:24:42,832 --> 00:24:43,890
[laughs]
536
00:24:43,914 --> 00:24:46,557
Priceless! Nobody knows Julius Caesar?
537
00:24:46,581 --> 00:24:47,581
Well, go ahead.
538
00:24:48,122 --> 00:24:50,432
Follow your international ambitions
with your athlete.
539
00:24:50,456 --> 00:24:53,098
{\an8}- [in Greek] Let the Greek tsat your ziki!
- [gasps]
540
00:24:53,122 --> 00:24:54,807
- [clears throat]
- [Caesar in English] Yes...
541
00:24:54,831 --> 00:24:56,598
Uh, if I may, oh Caesar?
542
00:24:56,622 --> 00:24:59,581
Minor marital strife, but it's settled.
543
00:25:00,206 --> 00:25:04,182
So speak, Slius Foxxus,
devious, homely advisor of mine.
544
00:25:04,206 --> 00:25:07,789
[Slius Foxxus] Hail, Caesar!
You are quite observant, you've nailed me.
545
00:25:16,206 --> 00:25:21,015
May I introduce Scar Dee Kat
the ambassador of Prince Deng Tsin Qin,
546
00:25:21,039 --> 00:25:22,515
the new master of China.
547
00:25:22,539 --> 00:25:26,182
How is it that an empire so large
has a representative so puny?
548
00:25:26,206 --> 00:25:29,473
Yeah, well, because it's not the size
that counts but the know-how, oh Caesar.
549
00:25:29,497 --> 00:25:31,098
And some men have neither!
550
00:25:31,122 --> 00:25:34,390
[she laughs]
551
00:25:34,414 --> 00:25:36,057
[whispering] She's a beaut!
552
00:25:36,081 --> 00:25:37,515
What brings you, puny?
553
00:25:37,539 --> 00:25:39,723
Oh Caesar, I have come to offer you
the great riches
554
00:25:39,747 --> 00:25:41,140
of my adopted homeland
555
00:25:41,164 --> 00:25:43,557
in exchange for modest military aid.
556
00:25:43,581 --> 00:25:47,182
[scoffs] Even the great Alexander
gave up on conquering China.
557
00:25:47,206 --> 00:25:49,932
It's the perfect chance
to expand my empire...
558
00:25:49,956 --> 00:25:51,765
Your empire, oh Caesar.
559
00:25:51,789 --> 00:25:53,557
But I've had it with conquering,
560
00:25:53,581 --> 00:25:56,848
and my name in history
has already been forever immortalised.
561
00:25:56,872 --> 00:25:59,598
I love it when you talk like that.
I adore it!
562
00:25:59,622 --> 00:26:00,622
So well spoken.
563
00:26:01,289 --> 00:26:04,015
- Well spoken, eh?
- Biopix, my biographer from Galicia.
564
00:26:04,039 --> 00:26:06,557
[Slius Foxxus] The stupendous
accomplishments of mighty Caesar,
565
00:26:06,581 --> 00:26:08,140
what better story to tell?
566
00:26:08,164 --> 00:26:09,598
Enough. Begone, the two of you.
567
00:26:09,622 --> 00:26:13,432
Oh Caesar, since you wish
to go down in history, you must be aware
568
00:26:13,456 --> 00:26:15,640
that in China, you are less than a star.
569
00:26:15,664 --> 00:26:18,515
What did I say? [Laughs]
570
00:26:18,539 --> 00:26:20,497
I'm getting good and fed up now!
571
00:26:21,414 --> 00:26:24,390
I, Caesar, man of a thousand conquests,
572
00:26:24,414 --> 00:26:25,765
and no one even knows me?
573
00:26:25,789 --> 00:26:28,289
- Alas.
- [laughs]
574
00:26:29,831 --> 00:26:32,164
["Le Diro Parole Blu" playing]
575
00:26:38,747 --> 00:26:40,348
[Scar Dee Kat] He speaks the truth.
576
00:26:40,372 --> 00:26:41,473
In China, at least.
577
00:26:41,497 --> 00:26:44,307
Go to your happy place, okay? Happy.
578
00:26:44,331 --> 00:26:45,932
Very well, Scar Dee Kat,
579
00:26:45,956 --> 00:26:48,307
step forward and describe this alliance
580
00:26:48,331 --> 00:26:49,473
- and this empire...
- [door slams]
581
00:26:49,497 --> 00:26:52,390
...that's about to see how great I am!
582
00:26:52,414 --> 00:26:54,015
[Cleopatra laughs]
583
00:26:54,039 --> 00:26:57,598
Explain your plan to me,
and remember, this Caesar's seasoned.
584
00:26:57,622 --> 00:26:58,706
[laughs]
585
00:26:59,497 --> 00:27:01,057
[light-hearted music playing]
586
00:27:01,081 --> 00:27:04,557
Alright, so I replaced your buggy
'cause you need something sturdy, right?
587
00:27:04,581 --> 00:27:07,723
This here's a ride. The best around,
on loan from Cousin Turbo.
588
00:27:07,747 --> 00:27:10,057
- I pimped it with boar bellies.
- Wow.
589
00:27:10,081 --> 00:27:12,890
That's right.
Shock-absorbing air cushions, like.
590
00:27:12,914 --> 00:27:13,914
And...
591
00:27:14,581 --> 00:27:15,558
the sun roof.
592
00:27:15,582 --> 00:27:16,848
Awesome. [Exhales]
593
00:27:16,872 --> 00:27:19,581
Let me tell you. It's the perfect chariot.
594
00:27:20,081 --> 00:27:21,081
It's magnificent.
595
00:27:25,414 --> 00:27:26,414
Right, let's go.
596
00:27:27,497 --> 00:27:30,497
[Astérix] Down you get.
Princess, care to board the chariot?
597
00:27:33,289 --> 00:27:34,997
[sighs] Ah, tough bananas, thank you.
598
00:27:35,831 --> 00:27:38,247
Ah... We're in for a great trip, Princess.
599
00:27:40,081 --> 00:27:43,640
Astérix, I've prepared you
some magic potion.
600
00:27:43,664 --> 00:27:47,390
But since Obélix mentioned
you didn't want it, I wasn't so sure.
601
00:27:47,414 --> 00:27:48,706
No, I'm just... I'm just fine.
602
00:27:49,914 --> 00:27:51,598
I... Well...
603
00:27:51,622 --> 00:27:54,223
No harm having it just in case,
I guess, but...
604
00:27:54,247 --> 00:27:55,640
I'd like to cut down some.
605
00:27:55,664 --> 00:27:57,973
Alright, then be careful
because I beefed it up good.
606
00:27:57,997 --> 00:27:59,872
[sneezes]
607
00:28:00,456 --> 00:28:02,432
[whizzing, sizzling]
608
00:28:02,456 --> 00:28:03,664
[crowd laughing]
609
00:28:04,372 --> 00:28:05,308
You sampled it?
610
00:28:05,332 --> 00:28:09,598
No, I, uh, took a sip, a tiny sip.
Had to taste.
611
00:28:09,622 --> 00:28:11,789
- You know, it's...
- [Astérix] Yeah, right.
612
00:28:12,372 --> 00:28:13,872
Good luck, Princess!
613
00:28:14,372 --> 00:28:15,598
As for you two,
614
00:28:15,622 --> 00:28:17,598
be brave, be reckless,
615
00:28:17,622 --> 00:28:21,265
and completely disingenuous.
In short, just be Gauls.
616
00:28:21,289 --> 00:28:23,640
[cheering]
617
00:28:23,664 --> 00:28:25,164
Hang on tight, you lot!
618
00:28:25,956 --> 00:28:28,057
Oh, we didn't tell you,
it's a much faster return trip.
619
00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:30,723
[Bankruptis mocks him]
"Faster return trip"... [sighs]
620
00:28:30,747 --> 00:28:33,973
Excuse me, but, uh, I wish to point out
621
00:28:33,997 --> 00:28:39,182
that the role of a bard is to celebrate
our heroes and their exploits... Right?
622
00:28:39,206 --> 00:28:41,515
So what is my purpose,
if I don't ever get to travel, eh?
623
00:28:41,539 --> 00:28:43,390
- He's got a point.
- Go on, go on, go on.
624
00:28:43,414 --> 00:28:45,348
- Excellent idea.
- No, no, no, go. Fast.
625
00:28:45,372 --> 00:28:46,789
Cacophonix will travel with you...
626
00:28:48,956 --> 00:28:50,515
- [coughing]
- [Cacofonix sighs]
627
00:28:50,539 --> 00:28:52,598
Oh no. They forgot me!
628
00:28:52,622 --> 00:28:53,723
[all] Oh.
629
00:28:53,747 --> 00:28:56,765
- ♪ They forgot me! ♪
- [lyre]
630
00:28:56,789 --> 00:28:58,122
[sings high-pitched note]
631
00:28:58,706 --> 00:28:59,831
[moans]
632
00:29:00,872 --> 00:29:02,348
ARMORICA
633
00:29:02,372 --> 00:29:05,765
[narrator] And so our friends set off
at high speed toward the South,
634
00:29:05,789 --> 00:29:09,098
favouring the maritime course which,
according to Get a fix,
635
00:29:09,122 --> 00:29:11,372
is faster than the Silk Road.
636
00:29:11,997 --> 00:29:15,598
After rowing across the Mediterranean,
thanks to Obélix,
637
00:29:15,622 --> 00:29:17,664
they reach northern Africa.
638
00:29:24,914 --> 00:29:26,390
Friction and wring.
639
00:29:26,414 --> 00:29:28,872
I don't know how.
I was supposed to learn Kung Fu.
640
00:29:31,789 --> 00:29:33,039
Friction.
641
00:29:33,997 --> 00:29:35,372
And wring.
642
00:29:36,289 --> 00:29:37,706
[Astérix sighs]
643
00:29:41,164 --> 00:29:43,348
Oh, uh, It's happening again.
644
00:29:43,372 --> 00:29:44,848
[breathes erratically]
645
00:29:44,872 --> 00:29:46,807
Astérix? Enjoying the view?
646
00:29:46,831 --> 00:29:48,265
Want some barley beer? A chair?
647
00:29:48,289 --> 00:29:50,122
Be right back! Coming right up.
648
00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:53,223
Nothing's coming right up!
What are you playing at?
649
00:29:53,247 --> 00:29:54,390
The same thing as you.
650
00:29:54,414 --> 00:29:57,831
Does she know that you spy on her?
Well, maybe I'll tell her.
651
00:30:01,331 --> 00:30:02,331
She's magnificent.
652
00:30:02,872 --> 00:30:04,848
[Astérix] She's learning to launder
'cause she knows
653
00:30:04,872 --> 00:30:06,848
her routine
will be rougher in Gaul with me, hmm?
654
00:30:06,872 --> 00:30:09,390
- She's preparing for her new life.
- [laughs]
655
00:30:09,414 --> 00:30:11,765
The Princess of China, in Gaul?
Living with peasants?
656
00:30:11,789 --> 00:30:13,723
[scoffs] Really?
657
00:30:13,747 --> 00:30:16,807
What part of, "Sa See and I are an item,"
do you not get the meaning of?
658
00:30:16,831 --> 00:30:18,890
- You're not an item.
- We are so an item.
659
00:30:18,914 --> 00:30:20,265
Going on six months.
660
00:30:20,289 --> 00:30:23,140
- You are?
- Oh, gimme a break!
661
00:30:23,164 --> 00:30:25,140
I'll make this really simple for you.
662
00:30:25,164 --> 00:30:27,932
Sa See and I are together.
We're in love, we're getting married.
663
00:30:27,956 --> 00:30:30,557
Oh! Congratulations, Bankruptis.
664
00:30:30,581 --> 00:30:32,348
- Many thanks, Obélix.
- I just love weddings.
665
00:30:32,372 --> 00:30:33,973
I do. With a banquet?
666
00:30:33,997 --> 00:30:37,432
With a banquet, and you know what Obélix?
You'll be best man.
667
00:30:37,456 --> 00:30:40,557
Oh! Gee, thank you!
I've never been a best man before.
668
00:30:40,581 --> 00:30:43,640
Now, Obélix, would you, please,
not swallow any old story,
669
00:30:43,664 --> 00:30:44,848
it's intensely aggravating.
670
00:30:44,872 --> 00:30:46,890
If they're in love,
they're in love, it's not my fault.
671
00:30:46,914 --> 00:30:49,140
- It's so obvious.
- They are not in love.
672
00:30:49,164 --> 00:30:51,557
And until she's with somebody,
she's not with anyone.
673
00:30:51,581 --> 00:30:52,765
[Astérix] May the best man win.
674
00:30:52,789 --> 00:30:56,164
I just can't wait to see her face
when I'm gonna tell her,
675
00:30:56,872 --> 00:30:58,973
you're just posing as a Gaul.
And you're a fake blonde.
676
00:30:58,997 --> 00:31:01,932
Oh yeah? Well, I also can't wait
to see her face,
677
00:31:01,956 --> 00:31:03,390
when I tell her your moustache is all...
678
00:31:03,414 --> 00:31:04,890
Yeah, well, what about my moustache?
679
00:31:04,914 --> 00:31:06,664
- Your moustache.
- Yeah? Yeah?
680
00:31:07,372 --> 00:31:08,349
It's really horrible.
681
00:31:08,373 --> 00:31:09,706
Oh no.
682
00:31:11,622 --> 00:31:13,015
So rude.
683
00:31:13,039 --> 00:31:14,581
Yeah. So there.
684
00:31:15,456 --> 00:31:17,515
- That was uncalled for.
- Not the moustache. Come on.
685
00:31:17,539 --> 00:31:19,182
I shouldn't have,
but he shouldn't have pushed it.
686
00:31:19,206 --> 00:31:20,682
[Obélix] Moustache is off limits.
687
00:31:20,706 --> 00:31:22,890
- [indistinct chatter]
- [Bankruptis] What's he doing?
688
00:31:22,914 --> 00:31:25,890
- Might be.
- Dobbing us in. He's spilling the beans!
689
00:31:25,914 --> 00:31:28,015
And he's supposed to be your friend?
690
00:31:28,039 --> 00:31:29,473
Oh, let's leave. Let's go.
691
00:31:29,497 --> 00:31:32,682
- [both scream]
- What are you doing?
692
00:31:32,706 --> 00:31:37,015
We're doing nothing. Actually, yes,
we were looking for a... a date! Is all.
693
00:31:37,039 --> 00:31:39,932
- For the wedding.
- Yeah. No. We want to eat the fruit.
694
00:31:39,956 --> 00:31:41,140
- To eat the fruit.
- At the wedding.
695
00:31:41,164 --> 00:31:42,515
[Bankruptis] No. To eat it here.
696
00:31:42,539 --> 00:31:44,914
- I'm the best man.
- Ah... This is impossible.
697
00:31:45,622 --> 00:31:47,206
This guy's on a loop.
698
00:31:48,206 --> 00:31:50,581
- Right, we're off. Pardon me.
- [comical music playing]
699
00:31:51,497 --> 00:31:53,914
[whispering] Did you not
get the "shut up" memo?
700
00:31:59,706 --> 00:32:01,206
Goodnight, Mr. Know-It-All!
701
00:32:02,706 --> 00:32:04,331
Goodnight,
Mr. I-Got-A-New-Best-Friend.
702
00:32:05,831 --> 00:32:07,098
Goodnight, Mr. Vegetables!
703
00:32:07,122 --> 00:32:10,348
[mocking]
Oh, love those vegetables! Yummy!
704
00:32:10,372 --> 00:32:12,057
Goodnight, Mr. Wannabe-A-Blonde.
705
00:32:12,081 --> 00:32:13,058
Goodnight, Mr...
706
00:32:13,082 --> 00:32:14,557
[Ka Ra Tay]
Just say goodnight and be done!
707
00:32:14,581 --> 00:32:15,516
Mm.
708
00:32:15,540 --> 00:32:16,640
He started it. He did.
709
00:32:16,664 --> 00:32:17,997
[Obélix] Good night, Ka Ra Tay.
710
00:32:19,164 --> 00:32:20,497
[sighs]
711
00:32:22,206 --> 00:32:23,414
[whispering] Ka Ra Tay.
712
00:32:24,247 --> 00:32:26,348
Do you believe
that my mother's still alive?
713
00:32:26,372 --> 00:32:29,872
The Empress is heir
to the Heavens, Princess.
714
00:32:30,372 --> 00:32:31,956
Nothing bad can become of her.
715
00:32:35,331 --> 00:32:37,723
Goodnight, Mr. "I'm in love
with someone and I can't even tell her."
716
00:32:37,747 --> 00:32:41,515
Goodnight, Mr. "I make no sense and
I'm so huge no one can see past my belly."
717
00:32:41,539 --> 00:32:45,098
Goodnight, Mr. "I sleep alone like I'm
an itsy-bitsy insect, like this big."
718
00:32:45,122 --> 00:32:46,598
- Oh!
- That's enough!
719
00:32:46,622 --> 00:32:48,497
[Obélix] Yep.
[Astérix] Got it. Sorry.
720
00:32:50,039 --> 00:32:52,039
[mysterious music playing]
721
00:33:08,997 --> 00:33:10,390
Well, hello!
722
00:33:10,414 --> 00:33:12,872
How you feeling? Did you have a good trip?
723
00:33:28,539 --> 00:33:30,348
Your daughter remains missing.
We've searched too long,
724
00:33:30,372 --> 00:33:31,598
and the country is too vast.
725
00:33:31,622 --> 00:33:34,223
And good morning.
There's two of us in the room.
726
00:33:34,247 --> 00:33:36,390
- Who are you again?
- The minute my allies are here,
727
00:33:36,414 --> 00:33:37,682
I'll have you decapitated.
728
00:33:37,706 --> 00:33:40,182
There you go, I'm good.
You had me at decapitated.
729
00:33:40,206 --> 00:33:42,098
You're the guy who enjoys decapitations.
730
00:33:42,122 --> 00:33:43,206
And you too, merchant.
731
00:33:43,831 --> 00:33:45,557
Not me, I've got nothing to do with this.
732
00:33:45,581 --> 00:33:48,261
- I'll give you some advice, though...
- Your balls are on the line.
733
00:33:51,622 --> 00:33:52,765
[dramatic music playing]
734
00:33:52,789 --> 00:33:54,247
Day one.
735
00:33:54,747 --> 00:33:57,706
At the end of the abacus,
if the Princess hasn't been captured,
736
00:33:58,956 --> 00:34:00,206
the two of you...
737
00:34:03,081 --> 00:34:04,182
We have two lives.
738
00:34:04,206 --> 00:34:07,331
The second one begins
when we realise we have only one.
739
00:34:08,997 --> 00:34:09,997
I thank you for that.
740
00:34:11,789 --> 00:34:13,414
Wow!
741
00:34:13,914 --> 00:34:17,140
Ah, now, there is a real Empress.
That's so good.
742
00:34:17,164 --> 00:34:19,807
"We have two lives,
and it's finished when you..."
743
00:34:19,831 --> 00:34:23,057
And your second one begins
when the first, uh... the first life...
744
00:34:23,081 --> 00:34:25,057
of which we only have two.
745
00:34:25,081 --> 00:34:28,598
And only when they begin do we...
Thank you for that.
746
00:34:28,622 --> 00:34:30,622
The first life begins...
747
00:34:35,039 --> 00:34:38,265
[narrator] Meanwhile, Caesar,
his powerful army, and Scar Dee Kat
748
00:34:38,289 --> 00:34:39,640
have taken the Silk Road,
749
00:34:39,664 --> 00:34:42,848
and are hurtling towards China
at breakneck speed.
750
00:34:42,872 --> 00:34:43,808
Well, sort of.
751
00:34:43,832 --> 00:34:45,098
[shouting]
752
00:34:45,122 --> 00:34:46,765
[soldier 1] Silk Road, Schmilk Road!
753
00:34:46,789 --> 00:34:49,206
You got us good and lost!
You just won't admit it.
754
00:34:49,956 --> 00:34:51,890
[soldier 2] Woopsus!
Where are you taking us?
755
00:34:51,914 --> 00:34:54,682
At least nine thousand men
have wandered North!
756
00:34:54,706 --> 00:34:56,348
I'm not gonna take it anymore!
757
00:34:56,372 --> 00:34:58,081
I can't work like this!
758
00:34:58,706 --> 00:35:00,456
[soldier 1] Join the Army, they said.
759
00:35:01,664 --> 00:35:04,557
- [military snare playing]
- [thunder rumbling]
760
00:35:04,581 --> 00:35:06,723
[Caesar] Woopsus,
do we go around left or right?
761
00:35:06,747 --> 00:35:09,015
[Woopsus] That's a no-brain us,
we should go left.
762
00:35:09,039 --> 00:35:10,807
Ergo, we will go right.
763
00:35:10,831 --> 00:35:11,808
Excuse me,
764
00:35:11,832 --> 00:35:13,890
how long's all this left-right-left stuff
gonna last?
765
00:35:13,914 --> 00:35:16,473
'Cause at this rate,
we'll never get to China.
766
00:35:16,497 --> 00:35:17,932
Who does this man think he is?
767
00:35:17,956 --> 00:35:20,473
[Risklus] Hail, Caesar.
Risklus, secret service.
768
00:35:20,497 --> 00:35:24,473
Hail, Caesar. Risklus, secret service.
769
00:35:24,497 --> 00:35:27,848
Yes, we know. Everyone knows you.
Why are you here? And where is Antivirus?
770
00:35:27,872 --> 00:35:32,039
Still on the front line in Milan.
I don't think he's opening my pigeons.
771
00:35:32,622 --> 00:35:33,599
[sighs]
772
00:35:33,623 --> 00:35:34,956
But, Caesar, I am here.
773
00:35:35,789 --> 00:35:36,599
Not as impressive.
774
00:35:36,623 --> 00:35:38,682
Not as impressive at all.
775
00:35:38,706 --> 00:35:40,265
[Caesar] Right. What do you want?
776
00:35:40,289 --> 00:35:44,015
Oh mighty Caesar, Carioca,
your chief dancer, requests a hearing.
777
00:35:44,039 --> 00:35:47,015
Uh, she got all sorts of claims
for respect and all that.
778
00:35:47,039 --> 00:35:48,473
Should I just slug her?
779
00:35:48,497 --> 00:35:49,497
What's wrong with you?
780
00:35:50,164 --> 00:35:52,414
- [Caesar] Show her in.
- Huh!
781
00:35:53,497 --> 00:35:55,456
Oy! Uh, Tapioca!
782
00:35:56,372 --> 00:35:58,289
[off-key horn playing]
783
00:36:01,956 --> 00:36:04,057
So, Carioca. What can I do for you?
784
00:36:04,081 --> 00:36:08,015
Oh Caesar, we just received
our new costumes. And guess what?
785
00:36:08,039 --> 00:36:10,206
Shorter than ever. I wonder why.
786
00:36:11,706 --> 00:36:13,182
If what you wanted was go-go taverns,
787
00:36:13,206 --> 00:36:14,932
you should've stayed in Rome,
plenty there.
788
00:36:14,956 --> 00:36:16,973
Ooh, wouldn't know, I do apologise.
789
00:36:16,997 --> 00:36:19,640
Oh, you do!
The Palladium, behind the market.
790
00:36:19,664 --> 00:36:21,515
By the Circus,
between Sternum's and Scrotum's.
791
00:36:21,539 --> 00:36:22,747
Right.
792
00:36:23,706 --> 00:36:26,932
Is that what you want, Carioca?
Knee-length costumes for your dancers?
793
00:36:26,956 --> 00:36:30,140
For a start.
Plus, moving forward, we could discuss
794
00:36:30,164 --> 00:36:33,098
the issue of the place of women
in our society, pretty long overdue.
795
00:36:33,122 --> 00:36:35,473
Look, it's all about the men,
around here. Right?
796
00:36:35,497 --> 00:36:37,265
Gladiators? All men.
797
00:36:37,289 --> 00:36:40,348
Senators? All of them, men.
Your legions, of course, are all male.
798
00:36:40,372 --> 00:36:41,390
And Caesars?
799
00:36:41,414 --> 00:36:43,932
- [Carioca] Nothing but males!
- So a Juliet Caesar'd be better?
800
00:36:43,956 --> 00:36:46,372
[laughter]
801
00:36:47,956 --> 00:36:49,682
You want Rome
to be ruled over by a female?
802
00:36:49,706 --> 00:36:50,914
[all laughing]
803
00:36:52,164 --> 00:36:53,164
That's right.
804
00:37:01,414 --> 00:37:03,098
[narrator] Back to our friends,
805
00:37:03,122 --> 00:37:05,765
who have crossed
the vast Egyptian deserts,
806
00:37:05,789 --> 00:37:08,057
under the scorching sun,
807
00:37:08,081 --> 00:37:11,890
finally reaching the Red Sea,
and the city of Clysma,
808
00:37:11,914 --> 00:37:15,557
a small Egyptian harbour
later to be known as Suez.
809
00:37:15,581 --> 00:37:17,539
Yeah, as in the Suez Canal.
810
00:37:23,706 --> 00:37:25,598
[Bankruptis]
If it's a captain we're after,
811
00:37:25,622 --> 00:37:27,390
I guarantee we'll find one here.
812
00:37:27,414 --> 00:37:30,807
[Obélix] Oh, look Astérix,
the tavern's named after Lutetia, in Gaul!
813
00:37:30,831 --> 00:37:37,664
[Tipsy in French] ♪ Dare to come
And cast the first stone ♪
814
00:37:40,581 --> 00:37:43,098
♪ To fall for one head over heels ♪
815
00:37:43,122 --> 00:37:45,182
♪ Leaves a wound that never heals ♪
816
00:37:45,206 --> 00:37:49,247
♪ But the love you feel is the real deal ♪
817
00:37:51,747 --> 00:37:55,598
- ♪ So don't be harsh or disapprove ♪
- [Astérix and Bankruptis sing]
818
00:37:55,622 --> 00:37:56,765
♪ When a woman ♪
819
00:37:56,789 --> 00:37:58,497
- ♪ Falls in love ♪
- No.
820
00:37:59,956 --> 00:38:01,140
Nope. You don't know it.
821
00:38:01,164 --> 00:38:02,807
I do know it, pal.
822
00:38:02,831 --> 00:38:05,348
[Tipsy, Bankruptis, Astérix]
♪ With a man who sweeps her off her feet ♪
823
00:38:05,372 --> 00:38:06,515
Wow!
824
00:38:06,539 --> 00:38:08,539
- [cheering]
- [Bankruptis in English] Wow, bravo!
825
00:38:11,914 --> 00:38:13,598
See that? That's Gaul right there.
826
00:38:13,622 --> 00:38:15,098
I just love it here!
827
00:38:15,122 --> 00:38:17,598
That's exactly my idea
of what Lutetia'd be like!
828
00:38:17,622 --> 00:38:19,473
[man] Tipsy! Tipsy!
829
00:38:19,497 --> 00:38:20,539
Mine too.
830
00:38:21,122 --> 00:38:23,039
[Obélix gasps]
831
00:38:25,456 --> 00:38:27,890
Oh, this is good. So good!
I bet you're a Gaul.
832
00:38:27,914 --> 00:38:30,182
Oh, yeah, big boy. Born and bred.
833
00:38:30,206 --> 00:38:33,057
- Have you been here a long time?
- Been a while, I'd say.
834
00:38:33,081 --> 00:38:36,973
Used to run a small cabaret in Lutetia.
Turned a good profit, packed every night.
835
00:38:36,997 --> 00:38:39,098
But I fell for the wrong sort of guy.
836
00:38:39,122 --> 00:38:41,265
Some little punk
wanted me to hustle for him.
837
00:38:41,289 --> 00:38:43,473
What he really wanted was
to gouge me outta my business.
838
00:38:43,497 --> 00:38:47,057
So who took her loot
and flew the coop all the way out here?
839
00:38:47,081 --> 00:38:49,331
Tipsy, baby! That's right!
840
00:38:49,914 --> 00:38:51,932
What about you blondies?
What brought you here?
841
00:38:51,956 --> 00:38:54,140
We're after the best captain in town.
842
00:38:54,164 --> 00:38:56,581
Oh! That guy over there, that's Titanix.
843
00:38:58,664 --> 00:38:59,932
Is he tough?
844
00:38:59,956 --> 00:39:02,831
Titanix?
The guy's a champ, hook, line and sinker!
845
00:39:03,372 --> 00:39:06,497
- Hmm. Thanks for the tip, Tipsy.
- From one Gaul to another!
846
00:39:07,497 --> 00:39:09,140
Normally we keep mutts outside.
847
00:39:09,164 --> 00:39:10,914
But I like the look of you.
848
00:39:11,747 --> 00:39:13,747
[reggae music playing]
849
00:39:17,247 --> 00:39:19,598
We want to charter a boat to China.
850
00:39:19,622 --> 00:39:22,456
To China, on a boat?
I can't be bothered with that.
851
00:39:23,414 --> 00:39:24,765
[Titanix] What I can offer is this.
852
00:39:24,789 --> 00:39:28,807
Day tour of the Creeks of Clysma.
All the kebabs you can eat, beaches,
853
00:39:28,831 --> 00:39:30,515
- great sunsets...
- [ding]
854
00:39:30,539 --> 00:39:32,164
Super package.
855
00:39:32,747 --> 00:39:34,932
Well, I mean not for now. For later.
856
00:39:34,956 --> 00:39:37,206
This gem is worth more than your boat.
857
00:39:38,206 --> 00:39:39,806
Perfect, why didn't you start with that?
858
00:39:40,331 --> 00:39:42,432
- Hey, what's...
- [Tipsy] You out of your minds?
859
00:39:42,456 --> 00:39:44,515
Think I came this far
for you to shake me down?
860
00:39:44,539 --> 00:39:47,348
Now take a hike before I get my whip!
861
00:39:47,372 --> 00:39:49,557
Looks like Tipsy's coming up
to her tipping point.
862
00:39:49,581 --> 00:39:53,515
- What's the trouble, Tipsy?
- These gentlemen wanna raid my pockets.
863
00:39:53,539 --> 00:39:55,515
I'm gonna give them
a taste of their own medicine!
864
00:39:55,539 --> 00:39:58,206
- Nobody messes with Tipsy!
- [tutting]
865
00:39:58,747 --> 00:40:01,015
Might you be a bit light-weight
for all this?
866
00:40:01,039 --> 00:40:02,914
What do you want with the lady?
867
00:40:04,331 --> 00:40:05,331
Who's the lightweight?
868
00:40:05,789 --> 00:40:08,247
[laughing]
869
00:40:09,872 --> 00:40:11,015
[laughs] He's funny.
870
00:40:11,039 --> 00:40:12,890
You know, Princess, in Gaul,
871
00:40:12,914 --> 00:40:15,872
when three-hundred pound guys
say certain things,
872
00:40:16,539 --> 00:40:18,973
the feather weights don't buy it!
873
00:40:18,997 --> 00:40:21,456
- [tense music playing]
- [groans]
874
00:40:23,206 --> 00:40:25,265
[clears throat] Hmm...
875
00:40:25,289 --> 00:40:26,765
[tutting]
876
00:40:26,789 --> 00:40:27,789
Mm-hmm. Mm.
877
00:40:28,914 --> 00:40:30,664
- Mm.
- [sighs]
878
00:40:34,456 --> 00:40:35,831
[gulping]
879
00:40:36,622 --> 00:40:37,558
[grunts]
880
00:40:37,582 --> 00:40:38,872
[lively music playing]
881
00:40:40,331 --> 00:40:44,682
[grunts, makes animal sounds]
882
00:40:44,706 --> 00:40:46,473
[shouts]
883
00:40:46,497 --> 00:40:47,581
Whoa, it's a lizard!
884
00:40:49,664 --> 00:40:51,122
[trumpeting]
885
00:40:52,956 --> 00:40:53,956
Whoa.
886
00:40:55,831 --> 00:40:57,164
What's happening here?
887
00:40:57,956 --> 00:40:59,956
[music intensifies]
888
00:41:03,497 --> 00:41:04,664
[shouts]
889
00:41:05,456 --> 00:41:06,706
[crowd gasps]
890
00:41:07,872 --> 00:41:10,723
This is potent stuff.
He went overboard on this one.
891
00:41:10,747 --> 00:41:12,765
Hey, hey! Come on, give me a taste.
892
00:41:12,789 --> 00:41:14,723
- [Obélix] We won't tell anyone.
- This one even less.
893
00:41:14,747 --> 00:41:17,914
[panting, coughing]
894
00:41:18,664 --> 00:41:20,331
[Astérix] You get one. Take your pick.
895
00:41:20,914 --> 00:41:22,372
I'll take the big one, then.
896
00:41:22,956 --> 00:41:25,390
- [comical music playing]
- [sighs]
897
00:41:25,414 --> 00:41:26,456
Gentlemen.
898
00:41:27,456 --> 00:41:28,765
[laughs]
899
00:41:28,789 --> 00:41:32,372
[scattered gasps]
900
00:41:35,872 --> 00:41:39,723
I'm not allowed to drink any 'cause
I fell in the cauldron when I was a kid.
901
00:41:39,747 --> 00:41:41,456
So this won't hurt as much.
902
00:41:42,289 --> 00:41:44,015
[screams]
903
00:41:44,039 --> 00:41:46,622
[epic music playing]
904
00:42:00,289 --> 00:42:03,640
[Bankruptis] So imagine this. A mini
amphora with two little wings painted on.
905
00:42:03,664 --> 00:42:05,807
Inside, we put a tiny drop
of magic potion,
906
00:42:05,831 --> 00:42:07,473
just enough to give you a good boost.
907
00:42:07,497 --> 00:42:10,015
We sell the beverage as a power drink...
908
00:42:10,039 --> 00:42:13,057
I'm still working on the concept
but I will come up with a name.
909
00:42:13,081 --> 00:42:15,765
In Rome, with all the orgies,
910
00:42:15,789 --> 00:42:17,932
youngsters dancing till the break of dawn,
911
00:42:17,956 --> 00:42:19,057
we'd make a killing.
912
00:42:19,081 --> 00:42:22,247
[Titanix] Well, I'm your man
for all things transport.
913
00:42:22,997 --> 00:42:25,890
- What's that you're doing?
- It is Tai Chi.
914
00:42:25,914 --> 00:42:28,789
An ancient Chinese technique
to recharge the body's energy.
915
00:42:29,789 --> 00:42:31,723
It's wild that we should meet now.
916
00:42:31,747 --> 00:42:35,122
My life's just taken a new direction
that's totally in step with your culture.
917
00:42:35,747 --> 00:42:38,914
Balance, nutrition, energy,
all that good stuff, you know.
918
00:42:39,747 --> 00:42:41,140
I can tell we're really connected.
919
00:42:41,164 --> 00:42:42,247
Hmm...
920
00:42:45,456 --> 00:42:46,848
[heavy breathing]
921
00:42:46,872 --> 00:42:48,807
- You finished?
- Now we meditate.
922
00:42:48,831 --> 00:42:50,622
- Yeah!
- No speaking.
923
00:42:56,872 --> 00:42:58,789
[whispering] That coin is something else.
924
00:43:00,872 --> 00:43:02,432
That's you?
925
00:43:02,456 --> 00:43:05,081
Yeah. A gift from my mother.
926
00:43:06,289 --> 00:43:07,890
She must love you so much.
927
00:43:07,914 --> 00:43:09,997
[sad music playing]
928
00:43:10,664 --> 00:43:13,789
When she gave it to me,
I didn't even smile.
929
00:43:14,956 --> 00:43:16,807
You need not worry, Princess.
930
00:43:16,831 --> 00:43:18,664
I will free your mother, trust me.
931
00:43:19,789 --> 00:43:21,372
I am here for you.
932
00:43:21,872 --> 00:43:23,307
Excuse me, if I may,
933
00:43:23,331 --> 00:43:27,557
for starters, we are here for you!
And some of us showed up, for you
934
00:43:27,581 --> 00:43:29,432
right at the beginning of the adventure.
935
00:43:29,456 --> 00:43:30,848
Sorry, excuse me.
936
00:43:30,872 --> 00:43:32,414
Princess...
937
00:43:33,289 --> 00:43:34,414
[vamping music playing]
938
00:43:38,206 --> 00:43:40,932
[Ekonomikrisis] What are you doing?
No, you moved two balls.
939
00:43:40,956 --> 00:43:42,765
- No.
- Put one back. Yeah, you did.
940
00:43:42,789 --> 00:43:45,515
You moved two balls, put one back.
Don't you go pushing my balls.
941
00:43:45,539 --> 00:43:47,098
Not that I'm not loving this place.
942
00:43:47,122 --> 00:43:50,997
[laughs] I mean... Speaking of which,
did you put any thought towards
943
00:43:52,122 --> 00:43:53,789
my proposition?
944
00:43:56,039 --> 00:43:57,914
This one is gonna be a toughie.
945
00:43:58,497 --> 00:44:00,890
Having said that,
I'm used to tough negotiations!
946
00:44:00,914 --> 00:44:02,765
- Ekonomikrisis?
- Yeah?
947
00:44:02,789 --> 00:44:04,456
If one day we get out,
948
00:44:04,956 --> 00:44:07,598
would you like to continue
doing business in China?
949
00:44:07,622 --> 00:44:09,872
- Oh yes! Very much!
- Then talk no more.
950
00:44:11,664 --> 00:44:13,914
You've been placed
in my cell to torture me.
951
00:44:14,539 --> 00:44:15,831
Well that's putting it strongly.
952
00:44:16,956 --> 00:44:18,581
Maybe it's just...
953
00:44:19,081 --> 00:44:20,664
destiny that chose us.
954
00:44:21,164 --> 00:44:22,914
The "Maktub" as we say at home.
955
00:44:24,164 --> 00:44:26,557
You are beautiful
when you're angry, you know.
956
00:44:26,581 --> 00:44:29,706
- [dramatic music playing]
- [sighs]
957
00:44:32,581 --> 00:44:33,581
[panting]
958
00:44:36,622 --> 00:44:37,664
[captain] Ah!
959
00:44:38,289 --> 00:44:39,581
[grunts]
960
00:44:40,539 --> 00:44:42,581
Oh boy!
961
00:44:43,372 --> 00:44:44,581
[sighs]
962
00:44:45,622 --> 00:44:49,098
Gentlemen, here on the Red Sea,
we're done with bad encounters.
963
00:44:49,122 --> 00:44:51,598
Who's the predator out here? Eh?
964
00:44:51,622 --> 00:44:53,348
- [all] We are!
- [captain] That's right!
965
00:44:53,372 --> 00:44:54,807
- [laughs]
- [crew member whistling]
966
00:44:54,831 --> 00:44:57,164
Ship ahoy!
967
00:44:58,456 --> 00:44:59,349
Many thanks, lookout!
968
00:44:59,373 --> 00:45:00,973
- Doing my job!
- Lads,
969
00:45:00,997 --> 00:45:03,640
this lavish ship will not escape us.
970
00:45:03,664 --> 00:45:04,765
Tonight we sleep in silk.
971
00:45:04,789 --> 00:45:06,765
[cheering]
972
00:45:06,789 --> 00:45:08,081
[captain laughing]
973
00:45:15,581 --> 00:45:17,706
[stutters] It's the Gau... It's the Gau...
974
00:45:20,164 --> 00:45:24,473
- The Gauls are here?
- It's the Gauls!
975
00:45:24,497 --> 00:45:25,932
[lively music playing]
976
00:45:25,956 --> 00:45:27,557
Yoo-hoo!
977
00:45:27,581 --> 00:45:29,664
Hello, little pirates!
978
00:45:30,372 --> 00:45:33,223
No, no, no, no...
979
00:45:33,247 --> 00:45:34,515
Not the Gauls!
980
00:45:34,539 --> 00:45:36,390
- [captain] Why's it always land on us?
- [cries]
981
00:45:36,414 --> 00:45:38,289
We're not the only ones on the water!
982
00:45:38,914 --> 00:45:39,766
[captain] Morning.
983
00:45:39,790 --> 00:45:41,598
Would you consider pretending
you never saw us?
984
00:45:41,622 --> 00:45:43,182
But we did see you, though.
985
00:45:43,206 --> 00:45:44,557
Can't argue with that.
986
00:45:44,581 --> 00:45:47,997
[sighs] Prepare our defences! Go, go, go!
987
00:45:52,206 --> 00:45:54,682
[captain] To think I just had
the paint redone.
988
00:45:54,706 --> 00:45:56,932
Go easy, will you?
989
00:45:56,956 --> 00:45:58,956
[both chuckle]
990
00:46:00,872 --> 00:46:03,765
- It's not like I'm happy about it.
- Pff, whatever.
991
00:46:03,789 --> 00:46:04,956
No, no, you wait!
992
00:46:05,914 --> 00:46:08,140
I'll show you how we rumble in my country.
993
00:46:08,164 --> 00:46:10,247
Hmm?
994
00:46:11,164 --> 00:46:12,789
[lively music playing]
995
00:46:25,789 --> 00:46:27,039
Uh, what should we do, Captain?
996
00:46:27,789 --> 00:46:29,640
- Well, uh...
- Got a bad feeling personally.
997
00:46:29,664 --> 00:46:31,622
We're still doing this. Prepare to attack.
998
00:46:34,206 --> 00:46:36,640
No, stop that! No, back you go!
999
00:46:36,664 --> 00:46:39,973
Michael, get back there.
Michael, no. Michael?
1000
00:46:39,997 --> 00:46:42,039
[grunting]
1001
00:46:50,914 --> 00:46:52,515
Ow, ow, ow!
1002
00:46:52,539 --> 00:46:54,057
Oh, that one's gotta really hurt.
1003
00:46:54,081 --> 00:46:56,497
[shouts]
1004
00:47:02,372 --> 00:47:03,664
She got how many feet?
1005
00:47:05,039 --> 00:47:07,206
Lads, let me through, please?
1006
00:47:10,164 --> 00:47:11,307
I'm really sorry, Captain.
1007
00:47:11,331 --> 00:47:14,307
- Where you goin'?
- My heart will go on!
1008
00:47:14,331 --> 00:47:15,557
- [captain] No!
- [screams]
1009
00:47:15,581 --> 00:47:17,164
Look out behind you!
1010
00:47:18,247 --> 00:47:19,331
[captain] Oh no!
1011
00:47:21,581 --> 00:47:23,372
Hey, calm yourself down, you psycho!
1012
00:47:28,831 --> 00:47:30,747
[water gurgling]
1013
00:47:36,081 --> 00:47:40,414
♪ Say you, say me ♪
1014
00:47:41,581 --> 00:47:43,872
♪ Say it for always ♪
1015
00:47:45,914 --> 00:47:48,497
♪ That's the way it should be ♪
1016
00:47:51,039 --> 00:47:54,747
♪ Say you, say me ♪
1017
00:47:56,622 --> 00:47:58,164
♪ Say it together ♪
1018
00:48:00,539 --> 00:48:02,872
♪ Naturally ♪
1019
00:48:03,997 --> 00:48:07,432
[captain] Comrades,
the official version of the shipwreck is,
1020
00:48:07,456 --> 00:48:10,265
we ran into a Chinese tornado. [Sighs]
1021
00:48:10,289 --> 00:48:13,581
[melancholy music playing]
1022
00:48:19,581 --> 00:48:20,581
Uh, may I?
1023
00:48:21,164 --> 00:48:22,664
Yes.
1024
00:48:25,081 --> 00:48:27,414
[Obélix] Beautiful, isn't it?
1025
00:48:28,497 --> 00:48:29,956
I wanted to say,
1026
00:48:30,456 --> 00:48:32,206
you fight really well.
1027
00:48:32,914 --> 00:48:34,081
Thank you.
1028
00:48:35,081 --> 00:48:37,390
And why is it that you never drink
any potion?
1029
00:48:37,414 --> 00:48:38,747
Well, I'm not allowed.
1030
00:48:40,539 --> 00:48:43,414
It might be dangerous. One does too many.
1031
00:48:45,956 --> 00:48:49,515
Must admit I would've loved
to feel that rush just one more time.
1032
00:48:49,539 --> 00:48:51,706
- [sighs]
- [soft music playing]
1033
00:49:08,706 --> 00:49:10,432
[mysterious music playing]
1034
00:49:10,456 --> 00:49:12,348
[fizzing, sizzling]
1035
00:49:12,372 --> 00:49:14,289
[wolf howling]
1036
00:49:15,914 --> 00:49:17,706
[soft music playing]
1037
00:49:21,372 --> 00:49:23,747
[laughs]
1038
00:49:24,497 --> 00:49:25,581
[Obélix] Wow!
1039
00:49:30,247 --> 00:49:32,372
[sighs]
1040
00:49:33,372 --> 00:49:35,872
- [yells]
- [fizzing, sizzling]
1041
00:49:38,497 --> 00:49:39,308
Obélix?
1042
00:49:39,332 --> 00:49:40,831
[explosion booming]
1043
00:49:41,997 --> 00:49:43,372
Mama!
1044
00:49:48,414 --> 00:49:50,223
The feeling's extraordinary.
1045
00:49:50,247 --> 00:49:51,890
Like you're fizzy in the head,
1046
00:49:51,914 --> 00:49:54,973
then in your whole body. It's a bit like
when you fall in love, or so they say.
1047
00:49:54,997 --> 00:49:56,456
[clears throat]
1048
00:50:02,206 --> 00:50:03,289
[soft music playing]
1049
00:50:05,789 --> 00:50:07,039
[laughs]
1050
00:50:15,539 --> 00:50:17,956
[military snare playing]
1051
00:50:21,122 --> 00:50:23,289
[narrator] Having at last found their way,
1052
00:50:24,122 --> 00:50:27,997
Caesar and his mighty legions
have crossed Persia,
1053
00:50:28,497 --> 00:50:31,723
the mountains of India,
the Mongolian steppes,
1054
00:50:31,747 --> 00:50:34,515
and have finally reached
the gates of China,
1055
00:50:34,539 --> 00:50:38,640
where the despicable Deng Tsin Qin
is honing his evil plan
1056
00:50:38,664 --> 00:50:41,039
to control the Six Kingdoms.
1057
00:50:44,997 --> 00:50:47,081
[off-key horn playing]
1058
00:50:47,747 --> 00:50:48,747
Hail, hail.
1059
00:50:49,206 --> 00:50:51,390
- So this here is the war?
- Prince Deng Tsin Qin,
1060
00:50:51,414 --> 00:50:53,390
allow me to introduce...
1061
00:50:53,414 --> 00:50:55,098
Julius Caesar. Himself.
1062
00:50:55,122 --> 00:50:57,098
I know you're impressed,
keep calm and breathe deeply.
1063
00:50:57,122 --> 00:51:00,098
Everything's gonna be fine.
So where are these rebels?
1064
00:51:00,122 --> 00:51:02,223
I'm told you're having a tough time
keeping them in line?
1065
00:51:02,247 --> 00:51:03,390
War isn't a hobby, you know.
1066
00:51:03,414 --> 00:51:06,039
You're well advised to bring in the pros.
1067
00:51:07,497 --> 00:51:09,182
Bit of a mess, this is, don't you think?
1068
00:51:09,206 --> 00:51:13,557
Oh no. We follow the precepts of Sun Tzu,
the great Chinese strategist.
1069
00:51:13,581 --> 00:51:15,247
He wrote the Art of War, you know.
1070
00:51:15,997 --> 00:51:17,140
Fart of war, more like.
1071
00:51:17,164 --> 00:51:18,765
[Caesar and Biopix laugh]
1072
00:51:18,789 --> 00:51:20,348
All right, kiddos, keep your eyes open,
1073
00:51:20,372 --> 00:51:22,789
'cause this is gonna be over
in a heartbeat. Huh?
1074
00:51:23,414 --> 00:51:24,224
Here goes.
1075
00:51:24,248 --> 00:51:26,140
{\an8}- [in Latin] If you want peace...
- Prepare for war.
1076
00:51:26,164 --> 00:51:28,473
{\an8}- [Caesar in English] Exactly.
- [scribe tapping]
1077
00:51:28,497 --> 00:51:30,848
- He's insufferable.
- He's deeply ill.
1078
00:51:30,872 --> 00:51:33,515
And pretentious, first decan cancers,
heads are up their butts.
1079
00:51:33,539 --> 00:51:34,640
Huh?
1080
00:51:34,664 --> 00:51:37,206
I'm disappointed.
I'm going to bed, I'm jet lagged.
1081
00:51:37,831 --> 00:51:38,641
[sighs]
1082
00:51:38,665 --> 00:51:41,557
[dramatic music playing]
1083
00:51:41,581 --> 00:51:42,765
- [Caesar] Biopix!
- Mm?
1084
00:51:42,789 --> 00:51:46,557
New chapter. After "Caesar The Seducer,".
1085
00:51:46,581 --> 00:51:47,973
"Caesar The Strategist."
1086
00:51:47,997 --> 00:51:51,098
Hold on, I change the scrolls
and I'm right with you.
1087
00:51:51,122 --> 00:51:52,348
- [Caesar] Helmet.
- Gallopus!
1088
00:51:52,372 --> 00:51:55,973
[hooves sounds]
1089
00:51:55,997 --> 00:51:57,706
[music builds]
1090
00:52:04,081 --> 00:52:05,081
Gladius.
1091
00:52:06,997 --> 00:52:08,122
[music stops]
1092
00:52:08,622 --> 00:52:09,433
The heck is this?
1093
00:52:09,457 --> 00:52:12,831
- Last time, you did hurt yourself with...
- Right, I get it, I get it!
1094
00:52:13,331 --> 00:52:14,973
Has anyone heard from Antivirus?
1095
00:52:14,997 --> 00:52:17,223
He's here, and ready, mighty Caesar.
1096
00:52:17,247 --> 00:52:18,390
[Caesar] Let's do this.
1097
00:52:18,414 --> 00:52:22,289
[to the rhythm of "We Will Rock You"]
1098
00:52:23,497 --> 00:52:24,349
Everyone!
1099
00:52:24,373 --> 00:52:27,890
[all] ♪ Anti, Antivirus! ♪
1100
00:52:27,914 --> 00:52:29,140
Ooh, goosebumps.
1101
00:52:29,164 --> 00:52:30,432
And me.
1102
00:52:30,456 --> 00:52:33,682
[all] ♪ Anti, Antivirus! ♪
1103
00:52:33,706 --> 00:52:35,515
[battle cries]
1104
00:52:35,539 --> 00:52:38,581
["Anti, Antivirus"
to the rhythm of "We Will Rock You"]
1105
00:52:56,789 --> 00:52:58,372
[grunts]
1106
00:53:03,872 --> 00:53:05,497
[clanging]
1107
00:53:14,039 --> 00:53:15,372
[battle cries]
1108
00:53:22,372 --> 00:53:24,039
{\an8}CHINA SEA
1109
00:53:36,289 --> 00:53:37,348
[groans]
1110
00:53:37,372 --> 00:53:39,747
[shouts]
1111
00:53:40,247 --> 00:53:43,956
[all] ♪ Anti, Antivirus! ♪
1112
00:53:45,997 --> 00:53:49,890
[all] ♪ Anti, Antivirus! ♪
1113
00:53:49,914 --> 00:53:51,289
Antivirus, I love you!
1114
00:53:51,914 --> 00:53:55,872
♪ Anti, Antivirus! ♪
1115
00:53:56,414 --> 00:53:57,414
[screams]
1116
00:53:57,872 --> 00:54:02,456
♪ Anti, Antivirus! ♪
1117
00:54:03,081 --> 00:54:04,348
[moans]
1118
00:54:04,372 --> 00:54:07,515
Antivirus, you wanna go viral,
1119
00:54:07,539 --> 00:54:09,390
but don't push it,
that was hard on my back.
1120
00:54:09,414 --> 00:54:11,473
You wanted Antivirus,
1121
00:54:11,497 --> 00:54:13,348
I gave you Antivirus.
1122
00:54:13,372 --> 00:54:17,015
And now, go back to your circus games.
1123
00:54:17,039 --> 00:54:18,765
[cheering]
1124
00:54:18,789 --> 00:54:21,289
Why speak words, when you can fly?
1125
00:54:21,914 --> 00:54:24,057
[mystical music playing]
1126
00:54:24,081 --> 00:54:26,122
[cheering]
1127
00:54:45,747 --> 00:54:47,414
[Caesar] A walk in the park!
1128
00:54:49,914 --> 00:54:53,331
In a matter of days,
I shall be the master of China.
1129
00:54:54,164 --> 00:54:57,265
I'm almost envious of you guys,
experiencing for the first time
1130
00:54:57,289 --> 00:54:58,807
the power of Rome.
1131
00:54:58,831 --> 00:55:01,098
Veni, vidi, vici.
1132
00:55:01,122 --> 00:55:04,390
- [Caesar laughs]
- This is such great stuff, Caesar!
1133
00:55:04,414 --> 00:55:06,390
I write it down as is, no changes.
1134
00:55:06,414 --> 00:55:09,057
- Seating sucks. We gonna eat like this?
- Yeah.
1135
00:55:09,081 --> 00:55:10,640
- Terrible hosts.
- Right.
1136
00:55:10,664 --> 00:55:11,932
[grunts]
1137
00:55:11,956 --> 00:55:13,723
And Antivirus? He's not coming?
1138
00:55:13,747 --> 00:55:15,098
He's asleep.
1139
00:55:15,122 --> 00:55:17,265
- What do you mean, he's asleep?
- I'm here, oh Caesar.
1140
00:55:17,289 --> 00:55:19,640
- Not as impressive.
- Nowhere as impressive.
1141
00:55:19,664 --> 00:55:24,182
Oh Caesar,
you have one last kingdom to conquer.
1142
00:55:24,206 --> 00:55:26,557
Likely more complicated.
1143
00:55:26,581 --> 00:55:28,307
Our victories have had an impact.
1144
00:55:28,331 --> 00:55:30,098
The Ku Koos are tough negotiators.
1145
00:55:30,122 --> 00:55:31,515
Very well.
1146
00:55:31,539 --> 00:55:33,348
We'll see who is the Ku Kooest.
1147
00:55:33,372 --> 00:55:34,973
[laughter]
1148
00:55:34,997 --> 00:55:38,081
Yeah, well, sorry not to join the fun,
but old man So Ku Koo died last winter.
1149
00:55:38,706 --> 00:55:41,598
Leaving his only son and heir,
Prince Ku Koo, twenty years old
1150
00:55:41,622 --> 00:55:44,515
concealed under a bamboo mask
due to a horrible birth defect.
1151
00:55:44,539 --> 00:55:46,765
- The Ku Koo Behind the Bamboo.
- [dramatic music playing]
1152
00:55:46,789 --> 00:55:47,683
So he gets orphaned,
1153
00:55:47,707 --> 00:55:51,015
gets his butt handed to him by Caesar,
not a good year for the Ku Koos.
1154
00:55:51,039 --> 00:55:52,914
- [laughter]
- [Caesar] Come to think of it...
1155
00:55:54,956 --> 00:55:56,539
you seem Ku Koo yourself, don't you?
1156
00:55:57,206 --> 00:55:59,515
No, I'm a Deng. Of the Deng-Bhat clan.
1157
00:55:59,539 --> 00:56:00,831
Yes, but...
1158
00:56:03,372 --> 00:56:05,039
you could be Deng' erous, couldn't you?
1159
00:56:05,622 --> 00:56:07,289
- Huh?
- [hand clatters]
1160
00:56:09,622 --> 00:56:11,307
[tense music playing]
1161
00:56:11,331 --> 00:56:14,307
I never really picked up on
why you would ask me to help
1162
00:56:14,331 --> 00:56:16,140
evict you from your own kingdom,
1163
00:56:16,164 --> 00:56:18,307
so what's in it for you...
1164
00:56:18,331 --> 00:56:20,456
Deng Tsin Qin?
1165
00:56:21,622 --> 00:56:23,848
You wouldn't be thinking
about a Caesarian section,
1166
00:56:23,872 --> 00:56:25,890
to cut me out of my end of the spoils?
1167
00:56:25,914 --> 00:56:29,039
Not at all. Never even crossed my mind.
1168
00:56:29,664 --> 00:56:30,664
Really?
1169
00:56:31,956 --> 00:56:35,098
It would've crossed mine. [Laughs]
Wouldn't bother me in the least!
1170
00:56:35,122 --> 00:56:37,557
- [laughter]
- He's on a roll.
1171
00:56:37,581 --> 00:56:39,598
[Caesar sighs]
1172
00:56:39,622 --> 00:56:41,973
- Tell me, oh Caesar.
- Mm-hmm.
1173
00:56:41,997 --> 00:56:42,933
Are you aware that
1174
00:56:42,957 --> 00:56:45,747
the great Cleopatra
is highly respected here in China?
1175
00:56:46,539 --> 00:56:47,433
[Scar Dee Kat] True.
1176
00:56:47,457 --> 00:56:50,831
She's done so much for the defence
and preservation of pandas that now...
1177
00:56:51,456 --> 00:56:53,581
So how is she in real life?
Fun to be with?
1178
00:56:59,831 --> 00:57:01,456
[soft music playing]
1179
00:57:08,706 --> 00:57:10,456
At last, I'm back home.
1180
00:57:11,664 --> 00:57:14,414
Do you smell the fragrance of bamboo,
ginger and eucalypt?
1181
00:57:15,956 --> 00:57:17,973
Don't bother with these guys,
they wouldn't know.
1182
00:57:17,997 --> 00:57:21,914
But I can smell it just fine,
and... so aromatic!
1183
00:57:22,497 --> 00:57:23,433
[Bankruptis] Titanix!
1184
00:57:23,457 --> 00:57:25,598
Will you be going straight back to Egypt?
1185
00:57:25,622 --> 00:57:28,432
Nope. I'll keep sailing
till I return to my starting point,
1186
00:57:28,456 --> 00:57:30,057
so I can prove the Earth is round.
1187
00:57:30,081 --> 00:57:32,539
[laughter]
1188
00:57:39,956 --> 00:57:42,331
- [mysterious music playing]
- [chattering]
1189
00:57:59,247 --> 00:58:00,598
[Bankruptis] So?
1190
00:58:00,622 --> 00:58:03,247
- Told you we'd make it back, didn't I?
- Shh.
1191
00:58:04,247 --> 00:58:06,622
WANTED
1192
00:58:08,164 --> 00:58:10,973
Ka Ra Tay,
how will we hope to find your master here?
1193
00:58:10,997 --> 00:58:12,872
He'll be the one to find us.
1194
00:58:30,539 --> 00:58:32,539
- What was the message?
- Nothing.
1195
00:58:33,872 --> 00:58:35,164
Friend of yours? The bald guy?
1196
00:58:36,539 --> 00:58:38,699
Well, if it's nothing
why can't you tell me what it is?
1197
00:58:40,497 --> 00:58:44,265
My master, Sill Lee, awaits us tonight
in an inn where we will spend the night.
1198
00:58:44,289 --> 00:58:47,723
There you go. Just say it,
instead of acting all mysterious.
1199
00:58:47,747 --> 00:58:49,122
I'm not even hungry anymore!
1200
00:58:49,747 --> 00:58:50,890
[whines]
1201
00:58:50,914 --> 00:58:52,057
[Astérix] What the...
1202
00:58:52,081 --> 00:58:54,039
Never seen him like that.
1203
00:58:55,081 --> 00:58:56,973
He's probably just tired, that's all.
1204
00:58:56,997 --> 00:58:59,098
There's a culture shock,
it's a lot to take in.
1205
00:58:59,122 --> 00:59:01,515
- Do you mind if I speak candidly?
- Mm.
1206
00:59:01,539 --> 00:59:05,182
You and me, we're not the best of friends.
I hate you, I believe you hate me too.
1207
00:59:05,206 --> 00:59:06,390
Mm-hmm.
1208
00:59:06,414 --> 00:59:08,932
But the two of you,
things are getting very tense.
1209
00:59:08,956 --> 00:59:11,223
The tension's spreading
through the whole group.
1210
00:59:11,247 --> 00:59:12,789
- That bad?
- Yeah.
1211
00:59:13,581 --> 00:59:14,932
But I got something for both of you
1212
00:59:14,956 --> 00:59:19,456
and I'm sure it can bring some changes,
for the better.
1213
00:59:21,747 --> 00:59:23,789
[Astérix] Obélix. We need to talk.
1214
00:59:24,289 --> 00:59:25,307
[Obélix] I'm listening.
1215
00:59:25,331 --> 00:59:29,223
There's a beautiful story
starting between the Princess and me.
1216
00:59:29,247 --> 00:59:30,456
Oh?
1217
00:59:31,247 --> 00:59:32,247
Well, yeah.
1218
00:59:33,789 --> 00:59:36,372
And I believe it'd be simpler if, like...
1219
00:59:36,956 --> 00:59:38,932
if she were to live with us,
in the village.
1220
00:59:38,956 --> 00:59:40,081
Okay.
1221
00:59:40,956 --> 00:59:44,372
Of course, you and I have been housemates
for a long time.
1222
00:59:44,872 --> 00:59:47,581
Uh, but we never said it'd be forever.
1223
00:59:48,581 --> 00:59:50,140
And as it happens,
1224
00:59:50,164 --> 00:59:52,247
the hut belonged to my parents.
1225
00:59:52,747 --> 00:59:53,831
So, uh...
1226
00:59:56,206 --> 00:59:57,997
You want me to move out then?
1227
00:59:59,039 --> 01:00:00,497
- Yes.
- [sighs]
1228
01:00:02,706 --> 01:00:05,515
Oh, Astérix!
I can't tell you how relieved I am.
1229
01:00:05,539 --> 01:00:09,432
I wanted to leave too, but I didn't know
how to tell you, I just couldn't tell you.
1230
01:00:09,456 --> 01:00:10,456
- You did?
- Mm-hmm.
1231
01:00:12,914 --> 01:00:14,414
I've fallen in love too.
1232
01:00:15,997 --> 01:00:17,307
You're in love?
1233
01:00:17,331 --> 01:00:19,515
[whispering] With the beautiful Ka Ra Tay.
1234
01:00:19,539 --> 01:00:20,997
[laughs]
1235
01:00:22,747 --> 01:00:23,747
With Ka Ra Tay?
1236
01:00:24,497 --> 01:00:27,122
Our Ka Ra Tay? You gotta be joking?
1237
01:00:27,872 --> 01:00:29,098
Obélix? Ka Ra Tay?
1238
01:00:29,122 --> 01:00:31,247
- [laughing]
- Why are you laughing?
1239
01:00:32,122 --> 01:00:34,664
- Because I'm surprised.
- You're surprised 'cause I'm in love?
1240
01:00:35,414 --> 01:00:36,515
Come on, Oby...
1241
01:00:36,539 --> 01:00:39,164
Don't Oby me. There's no more Oby!
1242
01:00:40,789 --> 01:00:41,599
What's so funny?
1243
01:00:41,623 --> 01:00:45,057
I'm not allowed to fall in love?
I'm not allowed anything!
1244
01:00:45,081 --> 01:00:46,973
What a joke! It's all about you anyway!
1245
01:00:46,997 --> 01:00:48,932
- It is not all about me!
- It is about you!
1246
01:00:48,956 --> 01:00:50,473
- No!
- [barking]
1247
01:00:50,497 --> 01:00:53,432
Obélix can't have any magic potion.
Obélix better not fall in love...
1248
01:00:53,456 --> 01:00:56,723
Oh, poor Obélix,
who's been deprived of magic potion.
1249
01:00:56,747 --> 01:00:58,265
Oh, poor Obélix!
1250
01:00:58,289 --> 01:01:03,057
I don't even get the privilege of roasting
my wild boars in my own fireplace!
1251
01:01:03,081 --> 01:01:06,432
Except it's not my own fireplace
'cause Astérix's parents built it!
1252
01:01:06,456 --> 01:01:09,432
- Which they did.
- Astérix wants me to eat fruit and veg!
1253
01:01:09,456 --> 01:01:12,057
And why do I want us to eat fruits
and vegetables?
1254
01:01:12,081 --> 01:01:14,390
For you! For you to eat better.
1255
01:01:14,414 --> 01:01:16,557
Do not say the word. Don't say that word!
1256
01:01:16,581 --> 01:01:18,831
- Because you are so fat!
- No!
1257
01:01:19,497 --> 01:01:22,914
I am simply voluptuous!
1258
01:01:23,539 --> 01:01:26,265
But there is more. I'm strong.
1259
01:01:26,289 --> 01:01:28,473
There we are! You said it!
1260
01:01:28,497 --> 01:01:31,598
You think it's easy for me
to be so feeble?
1261
01:01:31,622 --> 01:01:33,015
To rely on a flask all the time?
1262
01:01:33,039 --> 01:01:34,682
Serves you right! There!
1263
01:01:34,706 --> 01:01:36,057
I've said it. Done.
1264
01:01:36,081 --> 01:01:37,414
[clinking]
1265
01:01:38,081 --> 01:01:41,973
Needles performing so well,
releasing tension!
1266
01:01:41,997 --> 01:01:44,682
They make words come out, good!
1267
01:01:44,706 --> 01:01:45,831
[laughs]
1268
01:01:47,872 --> 01:01:49,914
[indistinct chatter]
1269
01:01:56,456 --> 01:01:58,265
- Oh, Romans!
- No, Obélix.
1270
01:01:58,289 --> 01:01:59,557
[sighs] What now?
1271
01:01:59,581 --> 01:02:02,081
We cannot compromise the Princess.
1272
01:02:02,997 --> 01:02:04,390
[Astérix] What's Caesar doing in China?
1273
01:02:04,414 --> 01:02:07,539
Deng Tsin Qin the treacherous
sold us to the Romans.
1274
01:02:09,872 --> 01:02:11,747
[mercenary] Informative news break!
1275
01:02:12,331 --> 01:02:13,682
People of China!
1276
01:02:13,706 --> 01:02:16,307
Prince Deng Tsin Qin and Julius Caesar
1277
01:02:16,331 --> 01:02:18,848
are delighted to announce
that the former Empress
1278
01:02:18,872 --> 01:02:20,140
will be publicly executed.
1279
01:02:20,164 --> 01:02:21,223
[ominous music playing]
1280
01:02:21,247 --> 01:02:24,997
The decapitation is scheduled
seven days from now at dusk.
1281
01:02:25,872 --> 01:02:27,515
An all-you-can-eat wok will follow.
1282
01:02:27,539 --> 01:02:29,807
Due to limited seating,
advance booking is advised.
1283
01:02:29,831 --> 01:02:30,848
I wasn't briefed, were you?
1284
01:02:30,872 --> 01:02:32,057
- You missed the memo?
- Must've.
1285
01:02:32,081 --> 01:02:34,765
- You're not on the forum?
- I'm never included, Carl it us.
1286
01:02:34,789 --> 01:02:39,140
I am Princess Sa See!
No one touches the heir to the Heavens,
1287
01:02:39,164 --> 01:02:41,557
Her Majesty the Empress, my mother!
1288
01:02:41,581 --> 01:02:43,706
- After them!
- [panicked cries]
1289
01:02:49,747 --> 01:02:50,872
Good doggie.
1290
01:02:51,497 --> 01:02:52,308
Let's get to it.
1291
01:02:52,332 --> 01:02:55,890
Whoever touches
a hair of my beloved fiancée,
1292
01:02:55,914 --> 01:02:58,164
I will treat very badly.
1293
01:02:59,539 --> 01:03:00,747
Did I really just say that?
1294
01:03:01,622 --> 01:03:02,956
[swords being drawn]
1295
01:03:07,622 --> 01:03:09,848
Ah, hold on. Time out. Just a second.
1296
01:03:09,872 --> 01:03:12,664
I'll be right back. Just give me a second.
1297
01:03:13,456 --> 01:03:15,265
[sighs] Getting painful.
1298
01:03:15,289 --> 01:03:18,039
- [mysterious music playing]
- [animal sounds]
1299
01:03:21,747 --> 01:03:22,558
Sorry.
1300
01:03:22,582 --> 01:03:24,890
- Can we get on with it now?
- Yeah, just went to the toilet.
1301
01:03:24,914 --> 01:03:27,098
- Yeah, right.
- We know what you were doing. Yeah.
1302
01:03:27,122 --> 01:03:28,914
[tense music playing]
1303
01:03:34,664 --> 01:03:36,289
[battle cries]
1304
01:03:38,747 --> 01:03:39,747
[Obélix] Romie!
1305
01:03:41,289 --> 01:03:42,183
[crashing]
1306
01:03:42,207 --> 01:03:43,789
[battle cries]
1307
01:03:57,331 --> 01:03:58,372
And wring!
1308
01:04:02,456 --> 01:04:04,247
[epic music playing]
1309
01:04:10,497 --> 01:04:12,557
[tense music playing]
1310
01:04:12,581 --> 01:04:14,081
[grunts]
1311
01:04:21,539 --> 01:04:22,747
Now that's strange.
1312
01:04:23,997 --> 01:04:25,848
- [battle cries]
- ["Kung Fu Fighting" playing]
1313
01:04:25,872 --> 01:04:27,372
[screams]
1314
01:04:28,456 --> 01:04:31,098
And my acupuncturist told me
to take it easy for two days.
1315
01:04:31,122 --> 01:04:32,581
Considering what they pay us...
1316
01:04:34,414 --> 01:04:36,831
- Can we pretend we didn't see each other?
- Mum's the word.
1317
01:04:38,956 --> 01:04:42,598
♪ There were funky China men
From funky Chinatown ♪
1318
01:04:42,622 --> 01:04:44,140
[shouts]
1319
01:04:44,164 --> 01:04:47,747
♪ They were chopping them up
They were chopping them down ♪
1320
01:04:48,747 --> 01:04:51,098
♪ It's an ancient Chinese art ♪
1321
01:04:51,122 --> 01:04:52,932
♪ And everybody knew their part ♪
1322
01:04:52,956 --> 01:04:55,206
♪ From a feint into a slip ♪
1323
01:04:55,747 --> 01:04:57,765
♪ And a kicking from the hip ♪
1324
01:04:57,789 --> 01:05:00,539
♪ Everybody was kung fu fighting ♪
1325
01:05:02,497 --> 01:05:04,956
♪ Those cats were fast as lightning ♪
1326
01:05:07,081 --> 01:05:09,914
♪ In fact
It was a little bit frightening ♪
1327
01:05:12,122 --> 01:05:14,789
♪ But they fought with expert timing ♪
1328
01:05:16,706 --> 01:05:21,098
♪ There was funky Billy Chin
And little Sammy Chung ♪
1329
01:05:21,122 --> 01:05:23,057
[music stops]
1330
01:05:23,081 --> 01:05:25,039
[whistling]
1331
01:05:28,247 --> 01:05:31,331
[shouting]
1332
01:05:31,956 --> 01:05:34,348
Hey, see how far I flung that one?
1333
01:05:34,372 --> 01:05:37,557
That was so cool! What can I say?
You're the best, Obélix.
1334
01:05:37,581 --> 01:05:39,682
- Oh!
- [Bankruptis] What's that?
1335
01:05:39,706 --> 01:05:43,015
[both] Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
1336
01:05:43,039 --> 01:05:45,765
- We're so tight, aren't we!
- Let's go, it's not safe to stick around.
1337
01:05:45,789 --> 01:05:49,247
[mocking] Let's go Princess,
it's not safe to stick around. Pff.
1338
01:05:49,831 --> 01:05:50,848
- Something wrong?
- Mm.
1339
01:05:50,872 --> 01:05:53,973
You tell me. You still feeling the potion?
1340
01:05:53,997 --> 01:05:56,122
Dunno, wanna find out, do you?
1341
01:05:57,539 --> 01:06:00,372
- We'll see about that later.
- Sure, anytime.
1342
01:06:00,956 --> 01:06:03,557
- Boo!
- Eh!
1343
01:06:03,581 --> 01:06:05,789
[military music playing]
1344
01:06:19,372 --> 01:06:20,432
Halt!
1345
01:06:20,456 --> 01:06:23,164
[repetitive grunting]
1346
01:06:25,247 --> 01:06:27,081
THE ORIGINAL 2CV HORSEPOWER
1347
01:06:31,122 --> 01:06:34,057
SOAPS BY CLEO
1348
01:06:34,081 --> 01:06:36,432
[cat calling]
1349
01:06:36,456 --> 01:06:38,307
Who dares to whistle?
1350
01:06:38,331 --> 01:06:40,223
[tense music playing]
1351
01:06:40,247 --> 01:06:41,831
[whispering] Hard to swallow.
1352
01:06:45,164 --> 01:06:47,622
[military music playing]
1353
01:06:49,414 --> 01:06:50,414
[Caesar] I go off to war,
1354
01:06:51,247 --> 01:06:53,331
risk my life, nothing from her.
1355
01:06:53,914 --> 01:06:57,307
No messenger, no news,
no papyrus-card, not even a pigeon.
1356
01:06:57,331 --> 01:06:59,390
Ah, you need to get a hold of yourself.
1357
01:06:59,414 --> 01:07:02,307
You were being so strong,
bristling with rage,
1358
01:07:02,331 --> 01:07:03,640
but now I see nothing.
1359
01:07:03,664 --> 01:07:04,682
[Risklus] He's right.
1360
01:07:04,706 --> 01:07:06,307
Did you send her a message?
1361
01:07:06,331 --> 01:07:08,265
No! We said, enough of the messages.
1362
01:07:08,289 --> 01:07:10,307
We're stone-wall marble,
we give her nothing.
1363
01:07:10,331 --> 01:07:12,223
We let her soak in her marinade,
like octopus.
1364
01:07:12,247 --> 01:07:14,348
Hey, Dainty, better tone it down.
1365
01:07:14,372 --> 01:07:16,307
What's that you say, Señor Grunt?
1366
01:07:16,331 --> 01:07:19,723
Infamous Risklus, how about
"Witless," with a head like an aqueduct?
1367
01:07:19,747 --> 01:07:22,848
You think you're Antivirus, don't you?
You couldn't even shine his sandals.
1368
01:07:22,872 --> 01:07:24,622
Así que call ate la boca!
1369
01:07:27,122 --> 01:07:28,223
[Biopix] Caesar.
1370
01:07:28,247 --> 01:07:31,289
Tell me who wears the toga in the palace.
Eh? Who's the boss?
1371
01:07:31,914 --> 01:07:33,872
- I am.
- Anyone hear that?
1372
01:07:35,039 --> 01:07:36,598
Who's the boss at home?
1373
01:07:36,622 --> 01:07:38,473
[sighs] I'm the boss.
1374
01:07:38,497 --> 01:07:39,433
There you are.
1375
01:07:39,457 --> 01:07:43,039
Now you're talking. That is our Caesar.
That's our champion. Numero uno!
1376
01:07:43,956 --> 01:07:45,640
So if there's a message you gotta send,
1377
01:07:45,664 --> 01:07:47,723
just tell her to pack
her bags and all that,
1378
01:07:47,747 --> 01:07:51,664
and take herself right back to Egypt,
show her profile or whatever, she is out.
1379
01:07:55,622 --> 01:07:56,890
Fair enough. Write.
1380
01:07:56,914 --> 01:07:58,997
- Ah!
- [soft music playing]
1381
01:08:01,456 --> 01:08:02,581
[sighs]
1382
01:08:05,747 --> 01:08:08,223
"Cleo..." No. "Cleopatra."
1383
01:08:08,247 --> 01:08:09,682
I like that.
1384
01:08:09,706 --> 01:08:10,848
"When I get to Rome,
1385
01:08:10,872 --> 01:08:14,140
I want to find my palace free
of your sarcophago-whatchamacallit."
1386
01:08:14,164 --> 01:08:17,307
"Starting from today,
you'll know who wears the toga at home."
1387
01:08:17,331 --> 01:08:18,308
[Biopix] There you go.
1388
01:08:18,332 --> 01:08:19,640
"You've been told. Hail me."
1389
01:08:19,664 --> 01:08:21,057
[Biopix] That's better.
1390
01:08:21,081 --> 01:08:23,932
That's my sizzling Caesar,
that was masterly.
1391
01:08:23,956 --> 01:08:25,682
Ah! Queen of Egypt.
1392
01:08:25,706 --> 01:08:28,432
- Queen of Doofus-land.
- [lively music playing]
1393
01:08:28,456 --> 01:08:30,557
[laughs] ♪ And where did they go... ♪
1394
01:08:30,581 --> 01:08:33,432
♪ Where did they go, down to Egypt land ♪
1395
01:08:33,456 --> 01:08:35,289
- Hit Send.
- Sí.
1396
01:08:37,039 --> 01:08:39,098
[cooing]
1397
01:08:39,122 --> 01:08:40,497
Pigeon... Pidgie-widgie...
1398
01:08:42,081 --> 01:08:44,223
Oh! [Laughs]
1399
01:08:44,247 --> 01:08:47,473
[in Galician] A bunny!
1400
01:08:47,497 --> 01:08:48,932
[in English] Oh, there's a big one.
1401
01:08:48,956 --> 01:08:50,581
[in Galician] A raccoon.
1402
01:08:51,206 --> 01:08:52,640
- [comical music playing]
- [bleating]
1403
01:08:52,664 --> 01:08:54,182
[laughs]
1404
01:08:54,206 --> 01:08:57,223
A goat! [Cooing]
1405
01:08:57,247 --> 01:08:59,872
[cooing]
1406
01:09:03,372 --> 01:09:05,390
Come on, sweetie.
1407
01:09:05,414 --> 01:09:06,664
[swooshing]
1408
01:09:09,122 --> 01:09:10,914
[notification chimes]
1409
01:09:11,622 --> 01:09:13,765
[cooing, vibrating]
1410
01:09:13,789 --> 01:09:15,265
[in English] Huh, it's Cleopatra.
1411
01:09:15,289 --> 01:09:17,497
- Already?
- [pigeon coos and vibrates]
1412
01:09:17,997 --> 01:09:19,539
- Well, get to it!
- Huh?
1413
01:09:27,122 --> 01:09:29,039
[mumbles]
1414
01:09:30,414 --> 01:09:31,640
[Caesar] I don't understand.
1415
01:09:31,664 --> 01:09:32,932
- Eh?
- What did she say?
1416
01:09:32,956 --> 01:09:33,997
Uh...
1417
01:09:35,247 --> 01:09:39,015
"I would like to apologise
for the attitude I had."
1418
01:09:39,039 --> 01:09:40,390
"I went too far."
1419
01:09:40,414 --> 01:09:42,515
You can say that again. Uh...
1420
01:09:42,539 --> 01:09:47,265
"Four long months have passed,
and all I dream of is to see your face."
1421
01:09:47,289 --> 01:09:49,872
"I'm waiting in Rome.
Come back as soon as you can."
1422
01:09:50,789 --> 01:09:51,997
"Your loving Cleo-babe."
1423
01:09:53,372 --> 01:09:55,057
Hey. You gotta stop that pigeon.
The pigeon!
1424
01:09:55,081 --> 01:09:58,390
- [Caesar] Cancel the pigeon. Quick!
- There's no cancelling a homing pigeon.
1425
01:09:58,414 --> 01:10:01,432
Once you sent it, it's sent.
Should I slug him?
1426
01:10:01,456 --> 01:10:02,914
Everybody out!
1427
01:10:07,664 --> 01:10:09,206
I said everybody.
1428
01:10:10,331 --> 01:10:13,122
- ["Le Diro Parole Blu" playing]
- [gasps]
1429
01:10:19,289 --> 01:10:22,747
[cooing]
1430
01:10:51,164 --> 01:10:53,414
[Cleopatra laughs]
1431
01:11:09,039 --> 01:11:10,581
[pigeon farts]
1432
01:11:11,331 --> 01:11:12,706
[grunts]
1433
01:11:13,956 --> 01:11:15,223
[sobs]
1434
01:11:15,247 --> 01:11:16,497
Cleo...
1435
01:11:22,081 --> 01:11:23,331
[door creaking]
1436
01:11:26,289 --> 01:11:28,682
Hey! Anyone peckish? They left some fruit.
1437
01:11:28,706 --> 01:11:29,932
- What are you doing?
- Huh?
1438
01:11:29,956 --> 01:11:31,497
Those are offerings.
1439
01:11:31,997 --> 01:11:33,877
- Oh, pardon me. Wasn't aware.
- [knock on door]
1440
01:11:35,289 --> 01:11:37,372
- Shh.
- [tense music playing]
1441
01:11:41,372 --> 01:11:44,348
I got this. Sir, you shouldn't stay here.
Here you go, good night,
1442
01:11:44,372 --> 01:11:46,247
and good luck.
1443
01:11:46,831 --> 01:11:48,497
Never mind, just a beggar.
1444
01:11:49,914 --> 01:11:52,682
[mystical music playing]
1445
01:11:52,706 --> 01:11:53,831
Master Sill Lee.
1446
01:11:55,289 --> 01:11:56,372
Oh, I'm so sorry.
1447
01:11:56,872 --> 01:11:58,223
Whoa, I am so terribly sorry,
1448
01:11:58,247 --> 01:11:59,973
Mr. Master, I thought...
1449
01:11:59,997 --> 01:12:03,765
Master Sill Lee is a hermit
who devoted his life to meditation.
1450
01:12:03,789 --> 01:12:05,581
He took a vow of absolute poverty.
1451
01:12:06,289 --> 01:12:08,890
Oh wow, bravo for your sacrifice,
it's mind-blowing.
1452
01:12:08,914 --> 01:12:11,932
If it was me, I would cave on day one.
So, could you...
1453
01:12:11,956 --> 01:12:13,848
If you'd be so kind,
I'll just get my coin.
1454
01:12:13,872 --> 01:12:16,848
Try to take the coin back out of my hand,
1455
01:12:16,872 --> 01:12:18,372
my little grasshopper.
1456
01:12:20,872 --> 01:12:22,640
[Bankruptis] Well, um...
1457
01:12:22,664 --> 01:12:24,598
That's far too easy,
seeing as you can't see.
1458
01:12:24,622 --> 01:12:28,831
Never assume that a man
is blind because of his lack of...
1459
01:12:29,747 --> 01:12:31,432
- [gasps]
- Didn't see that one coming, did you?
1460
01:12:31,456 --> 01:12:32,872
[laughs]
1461
01:12:33,497 --> 01:12:34,706
Voilà!
1462
01:12:35,331 --> 01:12:37,331
- It's him, he made me do it.
- Let him be!
1463
01:12:37,872 --> 01:12:39,640
Little grasshopper.
1464
01:12:39,664 --> 01:12:41,206
No, sir, I'm right here, just...
1465
01:12:41,747 --> 01:12:44,140
You are swift as the cobra.
1466
01:12:44,164 --> 01:12:45,223
Yeah, that's me.
1467
01:12:45,247 --> 01:12:47,831
Could we please move on
to more important things?
1468
01:12:48,497 --> 01:12:50,747
[mysterious music playing]
1469
01:12:53,831 --> 01:12:55,640
- [laughter]
- Oh, by Toutatis.
1470
01:12:55,664 --> 01:12:59,432
[Sill Lee] Deng Tsin Qin is spreading
terror throughout the country.
1471
01:12:59,456 --> 01:13:01,390
- [sizzling]
- [Sill Lee] Do not touch.
1472
01:13:01,414 --> 01:13:03,414
Ah. Hard to resist.
1473
01:13:04,039 --> 01:13:07,206
I spy an abandoned temple in the forest.
1474
01:13:07,914 --> 01:13:09,515
[Sill Lee] The Xuan temple.
1475
01:13:09,539 --> 01:13:14,331
Her Majesty the Empress
is held prisoner there.
1476
01:13:15,039 --> 01:13:19,557
After she is released, you will have
to hightail it as fast as you can
1477
01:13:19,581 --> 01:13:21,432
to the Ku Koo palace
1478
01:13:21,456 --> 01:13:25,664
before Caesar is able
to take possession of the last kingdom.
1479
01:13:26,206 --> 01:13:28,581
You are going to encounter
1480
01:13:29,081 --> 01:13:32,015
the hideous, the unsightly,
1481
01:13:32,039 --> 01:13:36,140
the monstrous crown Prince Ku Koo.
1482
01:13:36,164 --> 01:13:40,848
You will meet him, he's masked in bamboo.
1483
01:13:40,872 --> 01:13:41,765
[barks]
1484
01:13:41,789 --> 01:13:42,724
[mumbles]
1485
01:13:42,748 --> 01:13:44,622
Hey, buddy, it's not for real.
1486
01:13:45,206 --> 01:13:46,706
Good luck.
1487
01:13:47,206 --> 01:13:49,539
This is where our paths must part.
1488
01:13:50,164 --> 01:13:53,622
Grand Master,
uh, are you finished with the magic ball?
1489
01:13:55,414 --> 01:13:56,515
Yes.
1490
01:13:56,539 --> 01:13:58,348
[sizzling]
1491
01:13:58,372 --> 01:13:59,348
No!
1492
01:13:59,372 --> 01:14:00,308
[explosion booming]
1493
01:14:00,332 --> 01:14:01,914
[Bankruptis] Holy cow!
1494
01:14:04,581 --> 01:14:06,515
Are you happy now? You broke it.
1495
01:14:06,539 --> 01:14:08,265
[Astérix] He told you not to touch.
1496
01:14:08,289 --> 01:14:09,456
[door opens]
1497
01:14:10,331 --> 01:14:11,348
That is true.
1498
01:14:11,372 --> 01:14:14,831
- Hey!
- I told you keep your hands to yourselves!
1499
01:14:16,581 --> 01:14:18,289
[explosion booming]
1500
01:14:20,081 --> 01:14:22,098
- Why'd you touch the magic ball?
- Hmm.
1501
01:14:22,122 --> 01:14:24,622
[mysterious music playing]
1502
01:14:26,997 --> 01:14:29,598
[soldier] Have you seen Princess Sa See?
She's with two warriors and...
1503
01:14:29,622 --> 01:14:33,164
- [arm our clattering]
- [laughter]
1504
01:14:33,872 --> 01:14:35,223
Princess Sa See.
1505
01:14:35,247 --> 01:14:38,581
Seen her? With two foreign warriors
with superhuman strength.
1506
01:14:39,247 --> 01:14:40,058
And a little pooch.
1507
01:14:40,082 --> 01:14:41,206
[barking]
1508
01:14:53,372 --> 01:14:55,348
I don't know what's going on. [Yelps]
1509
01:14:55,372 --> 01:14:58,640
[centurion] What are you waiting for?
Room service? Get them!
1510
01:14:58,664 --> 01:15:00,890
- [Obélix] Astérix!
- What? Just run!
1511
01:15:00,914 --> 01:15:02,223
- Astérix!
- What?
1512
01:15:02,247 --> 01:15:04,182
- Why are we running?
- Why are we running?
1513
01:15:04,206 --> 01:15:06,015
- Because I don't wanna fight.
- But, why not?
1514
01:15:06,039 --> 01:15:08,140
I don't want to take the potion
in front of the Princess.
1515
01:15:08,164 --> 01:15:09,682
I'm sick of using a crutch!
1516
01:15:09,706 --> 01:15:10,683
Pfff!
1517
01:15:10,707 --> 01:15:12,723
Let's go, boys!
Move it, I borrowed a rickshaw.
1518
01:15:12,747 --> 01:15:13,914
Come on!
1519
01:15:15,622 --> 01:15:16,622
Speed it up!
1520
01:15:17,289 --> 01:15:19,640
- [Astérix] Will you hurry!
- Alright! I know!
1521
01:15:19,664 --> 01:15:21,331
- [Dogmatix whines]
- [sighs]
1522
01:15:21,872 --> 01:15:22,973
Princess...
1523
01:15:22,997 --> 01:15:24,307
Dawdling on purpose.
1524
01:15:24,331 --> 01:15:25,872
[inhales deeply]
1525
01:15:51,581 --> 01:15:54,598
[Dogmatix whines]
1526
01:15:54,622 --> 01:15:56,581
[mysterious music playing]
1527
01:16:05,539 --> 01:16:06,581
Ka Ra Tay.
1528
01:16:08,622 --> 01:16:09,622
Oh...
1529
01:16:16,539 --> 01:16:18,914
- Yeah.
- Can't argue with that.
1530
01:16:22,622 --> 01:16:23,516
[Ekonomikrisis] So...
1531
01:16:23,540 --> 01:16:27,039
In one more ball,
I officially consider us to be dead meat.
1532
01:16:27,997 --> 01:16:29,848
Which means that it's our last night...
1533
01:16:29,872 --> 01:16:31,765
and I was thinking that, uh,
1534
01:16:31,789 --> 01:16:33,973
perhaps... maybe as a memento...
1535
01:16:33,997 --> 01:16:36,081
- Your Majesty!
- Ah! Oh! Whoa!
1536
01:16:36,831 --> 01:16:37,724
She freaked me out.
1537
01:16:37,748 --> 01:16:39,890
Your Majesty,
we're going to get you out of here.
1538
01:16:39,914 --> 01:16:41,164
Who is she?
1539
01:16:42,539 --> 01:16:43,956
- Stand back!
- Okay, stand back.
1540
01:16:46,122 --> 01:16:47,122
[Obélix] Ka Ra Tay!
1541
01:16:54,747 --> 01:16:56,372
[Astérix] Are you done?
1542
01:17:03,997 --> 01:17:04,997
Forgive me.
1543
01:17:06,747 --> 01:17:08,247
[rumbling]
1544
01:17:11,331 --> 01:17:13,664
[dramatic music playing]
1545
01:17:17,664 --> 01:17:18,664
You may rise.
1546
01:17:20,247 --> 01:17:21,099
We must go.
1547
01:17:21,123 --> 01:17:22,598
Jump. They'll catch you at the bottom.
1548
01:17:22,622 --> 01:17:25,682
What? Jump? Are you bonkers?
No way am I leaving now.
1549
01:17:25,706 --> 01:17:28,414
You want me to quit a negotiation?
I've never done that in my life.
1550
01:17:29,039 --> 01:17:31,015
I'm about two balls away
from breaking the guy.
1551
01:17:31,039 --> 01:17:33,497
So you go on without me,
I'll just, uh, join you later.
1552
01:17:34,081 --> 01:17:35,372
Are you sure?
1553
01:17:35,956 --> 01:17:37,348
- Yeah.
- Very well.
1554
01:17:37,372 --> 01:17:38,914
As you wish.
1555
01:17:42,414 --> 01:17:43,747
Take care of yourself.
1556
01:17:44,331 --> 01:17:45,473
And don't lose your head.
1557
01:17:45,497 --> 01:17:49,206
Ah! Look who's worried about me now!
1558
01:17:50,539 --> 01:17:51,622
You know what?
1559
01:17:52,247 --> 01:17:54,807
You're even more beautiful
when you smile than when you're upset.
1560
01:18:01,581 --> 01:18:03,956
Whoa, she's impressive, yeah.
1561
01:18:04,747 --> 01:18:05,747
- [grunts]
- Thank you.
1562
01:18:08,039 --> 01:18:09,390
Mother.
1563
01:18:09,414 --> 01:18:11,539
What joy to see you.
1564
01:18:15,581 --> 01:18:17,039
- Wow.
- I'm right...
1565
01:18:17,581 --> 01:18:18,581
here.
1566
01:18:21,581 --> 01:18:24,098
- [guard] Alert! Prisoners have escaped!
- Quick, let's go!
1567
01:18:24,122 --> 01:18:26,206
[arrows whistling]
1568
01:18:28,206 --> 01:18:30,164
[heavy breathing]
1569
01:18:35,081 --> 01:18:36,515
[Bankruptis] Where do I go?
1570
01:18:36,539 --> 01:18:38,015
[Astérix] Shh!
1571
01:18:38,039 --> 01:18:39,164
Wait a sec.
1572
01:18:40,081 --> 01:18:44,473
- We lost them. I think we're safe.
- Gaulish friends, thank you for your help.
1573
01:18:44,497 --> 01:18:47,140
- It's our pleasure, Your Majesty.
- Majesty. [Clears throat]
1574
01:18:47,164 --> 01:18:49,539
Okay, I guess I'll just do this myself.
1575
01:18:51,039 --> 01:18:52,473
Bankruptis.
1576
01:18:52,497 --> 01:18:55,598
You may remember
that we met at the market.
1577
01:18:55,622 --> 01:18:57,348
That's right. [Laughs]
1578
01:18:57,372 --> 01:18:59,206
Life is just a barrel of surprises.
1579
01:19:01,539 --> 01:19:03,307
Not the best attention span in the world.
1580
01:19:03,331 --> 01:19:07,622
Sa See, you must leave with our friends,
join the Ku Koos and secure their support.
1581
01:19:08,206 --> 01:19:11,456
I will attempt to rally our own army
and our followers.
1582
01:19:11,997 --> 01:19:13,223
Ka Ra Tay, come with me.
1583
01:19:13,247 --> 01:19:16,831
I will strive to be worthy, Mother.
I'll make you proud of me.
1584
01:19:18,622 --> 01:19:20,372
You've already made me proud.
1585
01:19:21,956 --> 01:19:23,247
[Empress] Let us go, Ka Ra Tay.
1586
01:19:36,914 --> 01:19:40,598
[both giggling]
1587
01:19:40,622 --> 01:19:42,182
That won't end well.
1588
01:19:42,206 --> 01:19:43,914
- [laughs]
- [grunts]
1589
01:19:47,539 --> 01:19:49,723
[soft music playing]
1590
01:19:49,747 --> 01:19:50,872
Ka Ra Tay.
1591
01:20:04,956 --> 01:20:06,997
Ka Ra Tay has fallen for Obélix.
1592
01:20:08,872 --> 01:20:09,872
And Obélix for her.
1593
01:20:12,664 --> 01:20:15,664
There's a bit too much falling,
don't you think, in this adventure.
1594
01:20:16,789 --> 01:20:17,789
Right, let's get moving.
1595
01:20:19,331 --> 01:20:20,914
Obélix, are you coming?
1596
01:20:24,414 --> 01:20:26,622
[soft music playing]
1597
01:20:29,331 --> 01:20:32,932
- [Caesar] What kind of booze is this?
- [Deng Tsin Qin] It's rice wine.
1598
01:20:32,956 --> 01:20:35,372
You're not the most refined people
in the world, hmm?
1599
01:20:39,872 --> 01:20:42,557
It's not for the weak,
but it does grow on you.
1600
01:20:42,581 --> 01:20:43,807
It's relaxing.
1601
01:20:43,831 --> 01:20:44,914
Rice is nice.
1602
01:20:45,539 --> 01:20:46,557
I should bring some home,
1603
01:20:46,581 --> 01:20:48,664
it'd make arguing
with the missus more fun.
1604
01:20:51,372 --> 01:20:52,308
You know,
1605
01:20:52,332 --> 01:20:54,497
it's in moments like this one...
1606
01:20:56,289 --> 01:20:57,390
[sighs]
1607
01:20:57,414 --> 01:20:58,848
...that I most miss her.
1608
01:20:58,872 --> 01:21:00,723
What's that music?
1609
01:21:00,747 --> 01:21:01,724
Is that a band?
1610
01:21:01,748 --> 01:21:03,557
Four guys and a singer.
1611
01:21:03,581 --> 01:21:05,515
- You take musicians wherever you go?
- Yeah.
1612
01:21:05,539 --> 01:21:06,914
It's convenient.
1613
01:21:07,706 --> 01:21:10,372
I play all my favourite tunes on the move.
1614
01:21:11,664 --> 01:21:14,081
- Do you know this one?
- Everyone knows this one.
1615
01:21:14,831 --> 01:21:17,456
That... That's music, right there.
1616
01:21:18,414 --> 01:21:21,581
A step up from your,
"Ting-tong-tong, tipiting-Tong-Tong."
1617
01:21:25,789 --> 01:21:27,539
[sighs]
1618
01:21:34,039 --> 01:21:35,223
A more.
1619
01:21:35,247 --> 01:21:37,622
Whoa! Hey, what's that for?
1620
01:21:39,164 --> 01:21:41,581
- I thought you were my wife.
- No, I'm nobody's wife.
1621
01:21:43,372 --> 01:21:44,266
[Caesar] You know what?
1622
01:21:44,290 --> 01:21:47,206
That booze of yours
made me feel alive again.
1623
01:21:49,706 --> 01:21:52,581
I'm feeling like...
the new emperor of China.
1624
01:21:53,164 --> 01:21:56,831
When she sees that, your friend Cleo,
it's gonna blow her little mind.
1625
01:21:57,747 --> 01:22:00,432
Tomorrow at dawn,
the Ku Koos' clocks will be wound!
1626
01:22:00,456 --> 01:22:01,706
[sighs]
1627
01:22:07,956 --> 01:22:09,039
Wow...
1628
01:22:12,372 --> 01:22:14,497
[epic music playing]
1629
01:22:17,914 --> 01:22:20,265
[Astérix] Obélix, slow down,
we're getting off soon.
1630
01:22:20,289 --> 01:22:23,473
- [Sa See] Yes, it's the next exit.
- [tyres screeching]
1631
01:22:23,497 --> 01:22:25,223
[narrator] Once again, thanks to Obélix,
1632
01:22:25,247 --> 01:22:29,432
our friends beat Caesar's legions
to the Palace of Prince Ku Koo,
1633
01:22:29,456 --> 01:22:31,223
the Man in the Bamboo Mask,
1634
01:22:31,247 --> 01:22:32,706
if you've been following.
1635
01:22:36,747 --> 01:22:38,331
I am To Fu,
1636
01:22:38,914 --> 01:22:41,956
advisor to the prince-regent Ku Koo.
1637
01:22:42,539 --> 01:22:43,706
Can you now prove
1638
01:22:44,664 --> 01:22:47,765
you are not trying to impersonate
the princess of China?
1639
01:22:47,789 --> 01:22:50,557
You have my word.
I'm the daughter of the Empress.
1640
01:22:50,581 --> 01:22:54,289
I'm sorry, but just your word
means nothing to me.
1641
01:22:54,872 --> 01:22:57,765
- [heavy breathing]
- You could be a spy,
1642
01:22:57,789 --> 01:23:00,581
bought and paid for by Deng Tsin Qin!
1643
01:23:01,414 --> 01:23:02,414
[both] Uh? No.
1644
01:23:03,247 --> 01:23:05,182
Show him the coin.
1645
01:23:05,206 --> 01:23:07,289
[dramatic music playing]
1646
01:23:09,956 --> 01:23:13,348
Will this coin finally make you kneel
before your Empress's daughter?
1647
01:23:13,372 --> 01:23:14,497
Oh.
1648
01:23:15,497 --> 01:23:17,473
[To Fu] My grovelling apologies,
Princess Sa See.
1649
01:23:17,497 --> 01:23:19,039
We had to be cautious.
1650
01:23:19,872 --> 01:23:23,414
His Highness, the Prince Ku Koo!
1651
01:23:23,914 --> 01:23:25,223
[groaning]
1652
01:23:25,247 --> 01:23:27,539
[tense music playing]
1653
01:23:30,581 --> 01:23:31,789
[Obélix mumbles]
1654
01:23:35,914 --> 01:23:37,307
[Bankruptis] What you doing? Obélix!
1655
01:23:37,331 --> 01:23:38,932
Turn around and look at him.
1656
01:23:38,956 --> 01:23:40,890
You're being rude, this is his place.
1657
01:23:40,914 --> 01:23:42,039
[Obélix trembles]
1658
01:23:48,622 --> 01:23:52,206
♪ Say you, say me ♪
1659
01:23:54,164 --> 01:23:56,456
♪ Say it for always ♪
1660
01:23:58,581 --> 01:24:00,664
♪ That's the way it should be ♪
1661
01:24:03,331 --> 01:24:04,266
Princess Sa See,
1662
01:24:04,290 --> 01:24:07,015
I am Prince Ku Koo,
my army is at your service.
1663
01:24:07,039 --> 01:24:09,307
We rally behind your mother, our Empress.
1664
01:24:09,331 --> 01:24:11,182
Uh... I, um...
1665
01:24:11,206 --> 01:24:14,081
Thank you, um,
I'm sorry, I'm at a loss for words.
1666
01:24:14,706 --> 01:24:17,026
[Ku Koo] That's my fault.
My cursed hair must frighten you.
1667
01:24:17,789 --> 01:24:19,539
Oh no, not at all.
It suits you beautifully.
1668
01:24:21,122 --> 01:24:22,557
You're the first person
who's ever said that.
1669
01:24:22,581 --> 01:24:24,515
You're the first person
I've wanted to say it to.
1670
01:24:24,539 --> 01:24:27,831
♪ When you feel you lost your way ♪
1671
01:24:28,372 --> 01:24:30,789
♪ You got someone there to say ♪
1672
01:24:32,289 --> 01:24:34,456
♪ I'll show you ♪
1673
01:24:37,372 --> 01:24:40,015
♪ Say you, say me... ♪
1674
01:24:40,039 --> 01:24:42,223
Somebody's wigging out.
1675
01:24:42,247 --> 01:24:44,581
All those months of effort, for nothing.
1676
01:24:47,247 --> 01:24:49,331
And just like that.
Dumped into the friend zone.
1677
01:24:49,914 --> 01:24:51,664
Princess, can we go now?
1678
01:24:53,081 --> 01:24:54,789
Is there a Kingdom to save or not?
1679
01:24:57,914 --> 01:25:00,122
♪ Say it together ♪
1680
01:25:01,872 --> 01:25:03,765
♪ Naturally ♪
1681
01:25:03,789 --> 01:25:06,581
[dramatic music playing]
1682
01:25:08,122 --> 01:25:11,140
Typically Ku Koo
to build your palace in a basin.
1683
01:25:11,164 --> 01:25:12,497
Oh, cornered!
1684
01:25:13,081 --> 01:25:15,122
Surrounded by Caesar. Shouldn't take long.
1685
01:25:18,914 --> 01:25:21,956
Surrender unto Caesar.
Here goes nothing then.
1686
01:25:33,539 --> 01:25:35,390
I am Princess Sa See.
1687
01:25:35,414 --> 01:25:37,664
Submit to the power
of the One Empress of China.
1688
01:25:38,289 --> 01:25:39,331
[laughter]
1689
01:25:39,956 --> 01:25:42,473
Sa See, my darling,
now we can get married!
1690
01:25:42,497 --> 01:25:45,997
Over my dead body.
You'll regret your actions, Deng Tsin Qin.
1691
01:25:46,914 --> 01:25:48,265
Seems a difficult sell.
1692
01:25:48,289 --> 01:25:49,682
Pretty unlikely, I won't lie.
1693
01:25:49,706 --> 01:25:52,914
- I have a question for you, Princess.
- There you go.
1694
01:25:53,539 --> 01:25:54,932
How many troops you got?
1695
01:25:54,956 --> 01:25:56,182
Ten thousand.
1696
01:25:56,206 --> 01:25:59,807
No, I'm just saying, 'cause...
I've come with eighty thousand men here!
1697
01:25:59,831 --> 01:26:01,539
[cheering]
1698
01:26:05,997 --> 01:26:08,973
The power of experience, simply put.
Can't help it. I've never lost.
1699
01:26:08,997 --> 01:26:10,265
Ha, you're marvellous.
1700
01:26:10,289 --> 01:26:13,598
It would seem you've miscounted.
It's ten thousand, plus two.
1701
01:26:13,622 --> 01:26:14,932
If you still need me, obviously.
1702
01:26:14,956 --> 01:26:16,182
Hello, Julius!
1703
01:26:16,206 --> 01:26:18,307
- [Obélix] It's us!
- The weirdos.
1704
01:26:18,331 --> 01:26:19,598
[Ku Koo] Not plus two,
1705
01:26:19,622 --> 01:26:21,331
plus three!
1706
01:26:21,914 --> 01:26:23,122
The Man Behind the Bamboo!
1707
01:26:25,122 --> 01:26:26,622
[Deng Tsin Qin] How awful. Poor boy.
1708
01:26:27,206 --> 01:26:28,848
- He's a blonde.
- It's not such a bad look.
1709
01:26:28,872 --> 01:26:30,497
[Bankruptis] Not plus three, plus four!
1710
01:26:31,372 --> 01:26:34,223
I am the Man in the Blue Plumage.
1711
01:26:34,247 --> 01:26:35,539
What is that?
1712
01:26:38,789 --> 01:26:40,622
That's enough talk.
1713
01:26:42,206 --> 01:26:44,765
Why be talking, when you can be running?
1714
01:26:44,789 --> 01:26:45,766
Ah!
1715
01:26:45,790 --> 01:26:47,456
- [rock music playing]
- [cheering]
1716
01:26:51,039 --> 01:26:52,473
[grunts]
1717
01:26:52,497 --> 01:26:54,473
[Antivirus] Mamma mia.
1718
01:26:54,497 --> 01:26:55,747
[crowd sighs]
1719
01:26:56,831 --> 01:26:59,057
The man starts off cold! Silly boy.
1720
01:26:59,081 --> 01:27:00,872
- Did I give the order?
- No, you didn't.
1721
01:27:02,872 --> 01:27:03,766
[sighs]
1722
01:27:03,790 --> 01:27:04,848
All right. Rotate.
1723
01:27:04,872 --> 01:27:07,706
- Rotatio!
- [off-key horn playing]
1724
01:27:09,081 --> 01:27:10,432
[soldiers chanting] Antivirus!
1725
01:27:10,456 --> 01:27:11,848
Antivirus!
1726
01:27:11,872 --> 01:27:16,598
- Antivirus! Antivirus!
- [horn hooting]
1727
01:27:16,622 --> 01:27:18,664
[chanting continues]
1728
01:27:25,081 --> 01:27:26,973
[shouting]
1729
01:27:26,997 --> 01:27:28,223
[cork popping]
1730
01:27:28,247 --> 01:27:30,164
[bagpipes playing]
1731
01:27:34,956 --> 01:27:36,914
- [sighs]
- Ah!
1732
01:27:42,664 --> 01:27:43,664
[exhales]
1733
01:27:47,289 --> 01:27:49,182
Hey, Astérix. Gimme some, will you?
1734
01:27:49,206 --> 01:27:52,081
- Nah. Not enough to go around.
- [mocking] Not enough to go around.
1735
01:27:55,789 --> 01:27:57,140
What a bunch of cheaters!
1736
01:27:57,164 --> 01:27:58,331
Won't save 'em, though.
1737
01:27:59,872 --> 01:28:01,723
Attack!
1738
01:28:01,747 --> 01:28:03,706
[soldiers cheer]
1739
01:28:04,997 --> 01:28:05,974
Wah!
1740
01:28:05,998 --> 01:28:08,206
- [battle cries]
- [barking]
1741
01:28:18,289 --> 01:28:19,747
- Yo!
- What?
1742
01:28:20,664 --> 01:28:21,664
Yes sir.
1743
01:28:43,164 --> 01:28:44,099
[barking]
1744
01:28:44,123 --> 01:28:45,581
[shouts]
1745
01:29:00,872 --> 01:29:01,872
[groans]
1746
01:29:03,247 --> 01:29:04,706
[screaming]
1747
01:29:11,206 --> 01:29:12,141
Help me.
1748
01:29:12,165 --> 01:29:13,848
Shh! Shut up, by golly.
1749
01:29:13,872 --> 01:29:15,473
You'll get us caught.
1750
01:29:15,497 --> 01:29:17,914
Golly. As in Gauls.
1751
01:29:30,289 --> 01:29:31,598
So, is it my turn?
1752
01:29:31,622 --> 01:29:32,932
Yeah, sure, if you want.
1753
01:29:32,956 --> 01:29:34,039
Archers!
1754
01:29:35,039 --> 01:29:36,348
Aim!
1755
01:29:36,372 --> 01:29:37,890
Draw!
1756
01:29:37,914 --> 01:29:39,414
Fire!
1757
01:29:40,456 --> 01:29:44,098
Deng Tsin Qin, Emperor of China!
[laughs]
1758
01:29:44,122 --> 01:29:45,682
[mysterious music playing]
1759
01:29:45,706 --> 01:29:46,997
Arrows!
1760
01:29:54,747 --> 01:29:56,747
[screams]
1761
01:30:01,247 --> 01:30:02,682
Come on. Seriously?
1762
01:30:02,706 --> 01:30:05,372
Don't judge. Ah!
1763
01:30:06,747 --> 01:30:07,789
I can feel it.
1764
01:30:08,997 --> 01:30:11,265
The kick is a monster. Ah!
1765
01:30:11,289 --> 01:30:13,515
[yelling]
1766
01:30:13,539 --> 01:30:14,640
Crazy force!
1767
01:30:14,664 --> 01:30:16,015
Oh...
1768
01:30:16,039 --> 01:30:19,348
Is that all? Is this all? Argh!
1769
01:30:19,372 --> 01:30:22,331
No! I can't believe it. This is pathetic!
1770
01:30:24,206 --> 01:30:26,164
[soldier yelling]
1771
01:30:32,247 --> 01:30:34,640
- I smell victory.
- Ah, smells of victory.
1772
01:30:34,664 --> 01:30:36,414
A specific smell, would you say?
1773
01:30:37,664 --> 01:30:39,723
Readers care about that sort of detail?
1774
01:30:39,747 --> 01:30:41,164
It flavours the experience.
1775
01:30:42,914 --> 01:30:44,598
It reeks of laurel then.
1776
01:30:44,622 --> 01:30:47,807
Excellent. Excellent!
1777
01:30:47,831 --> 01:30:49,747
[dramatic music playing]
1778
01:30:53,206 --> 01:30:54,307
[grunts]
1779
01:30:54,331 --> 01:30:55,831
[laughs]
1780
01:30:59,206 --> 01:31:01,039
[laughs]
1781
01:31:01,956 --> 01:31:04,723
[screams]
1782
01:31:04,747 --> 01:31:07,914
[emotional music playing]
1783
01:31:09,581 --> 01:31:10,516
Thank you.
1784
01:31:10,540 --> 01:31:11,765
You're welcome.
1785
01:31:11,789 --> 01:31:13,039
[screams]
1786
01:31:15,122 --> 01:31:17,039
I won't not help you
just 'cause we've argued.
1787
01:31:17,622 --> 01:31:18,433
I know.
1788
01:31:18,457 --> 01:31:20,539
- I've always said I'd defend you.
- [screams]
1789
01:31:21,206 --> 01:31:22,206
I know.
1790
01:31:23,497 --> 01:31:25,622
Because you'll always be my best mate.
1791
01:31:28,331 --> 01:31:29,331
I know.
1792
01:31:30,372 --> 01:31:31,706
Sorry, Obélix.
1793
01:31:34,581 --> 01:31:36,706
[Sa See] Astérix! Obélix!
1794
01:31:44,164 --> 01:31:46,706
[Obélix grunts]
1795
01:31:55,456 --> 01:31:57,622
Obélix! Don't!
1796
01:31:58,206 --> 01:31:59,372
Don't.
1797
01:32:09,664 --> 01:32:11,932
[laughs]
1798
01:32:11,956 --> 01:32:16,598
Before we die,
I need to tell you something, Princess.
1799
01:32:16,622 --> 01:32:18,542
- [soft music playing]
- [hoof steps approaching]
1800
01:32:22,581 --> 01:32:25,622
[epic music playing]
1801
01:32:42,664 --> 01:32:43,664
Look there!
1802
01:32:45,331 --> 01:32:47,039
[narrator] And just when all seemed lost,
1803
01:32:47,872 --> 01:32:49,223
the Empress appeared,
1804
01:32:49,247 --> 01:32:52,265
followed by her army
and all of her people.
1805
01:32:52,289 --> 01:32:53,723
Everyone came.
1806
01:32:53,747 --> 01:32:55,682
They followed her
across the Middle Kingdom,
1807
01:32:55,706 --> 01:32:59,831
marching all the way
to the ultimate battle scene.
1808
01:33:12,372 --> 01:33:13,183
Oh?
1809
01:33:13,207 --> 01:33:14,956
[soft music playing]
1810
01:33:16,872 --> 01:33:18,765
- What the heck is that?
- I'm not sure.
1811
01:33:18,789 --> 01:33:21,497
But I don't smell
a lot of laurel right now.
1812
01:33:21,997 --> 01:33:24,515
More like pine caskets.
1813
01:33:24,539 --> 01:33:25,789
[sighs]
1814
01:33:27,206 --> 01:33:28,414
[horn hoots]
1815
01:33:30,039 --> 01:33:31,515
Caesar!
1816
01:33:31,539 --> 01:33:33,723
I am the Empress of China.
1817
01:33:33,747 --> 01:33:36,348
You will leave my empire forthwith.
I order you.
1818
01:33:36,372 --> 01:33:38,890
- [laughs]
- Never!
1819
01:33:38,914 --> 01:33:41,140
Woman of character. Reminds me of someone.
1820
01:33:41,164 --> 01:33:42,289
Ooh...
1821
01:33:43,164 --> 01:33:44,581
Your Majesty,
1822
01:33:45,247 --> 01:33:47,432
rather than lose our temper
and ruin everything,
1823
01:33:47,456 --> 01:33:50,140
perhaps we could consider
some sort of alliance?
1824
01:33:50,164 --> 01:33:53,057
When the clouds pass in front of the sun,
1825
01:33:53,081 --> 01:33:55,497
my army will trample you to dust.
1826
01:33:56,372 --> 01:33:58,973
What's that now, another proverb of yours?
1827
01:33:58,997 --> 01:34:01,789
Oh no, it's literal.
And it's happening now.
1828
01:34:03,081 --> 01:34:04,747
[dramatic music playing]
1829
01:34:07,497 --> 01:34:09,997
- How many of you are there?
- [gasps] Watch him do his thing!
1830
01:34:10,622 --> 01:34:12,807
One million.
1831
01:34:12,831 --> 01:34:15,057
[music distorts and fades out]
1832
01:34:15,081 --> 01:34:17,682
Ah. The maths don't work as well.
1833
01:34:17,706 --> 01:34:18,641
[sighs]
1834
01:34:18,665 --> 01:34:21,098
Boys, I'm gonna hit the road.
It's not like I'm from here.
1835
01:34:21,122 --> 01:34:22,890
I'm returning to Rome, so keep in touch.
1836
01:34:22,914 --> 01:34:26,747
But Caesar, you can't just bail on us!
There's a million of them!
1837
01:34:27,539 --> 01:34:28,956
It's not my war.
1838
01:34:29,622 --> 01:34:30,956
[off-key horn playing]
1839
01:34:34,289 --> 01:34:36,039
I can't just trot off.
1840
01:34:38,081 --> 01:34:39,664
[whistles] Hi-ho, Equus!
1841
01:34:40,997 --> 01:34:42,414
Hi-ho. Now. [Snaps fingers]
1842
01:34:45,581 --> 01:34:46,956
[coos and vibrates]
1843
01:34:51,247 --> 01:34:52,348
GOT YOUR MESSAGE!
1844
01:34:52,372 --> 01:34:56,432
SAY GOODBYE TO MY LITTLE PYRAMID!
CLEOPATRA
1845
01:34:56,456 --> 01:34:58,456
[sighs] That's one rough day.
1846
01:34:59,081 --> 01:35:00,081
A rough one.
1847
01:35:00,831 --> 01:35:01,872
Right.
1848
01:35:05,706 --> 01:35:07,348
Hurray!
1849
01:35:07,372 --> 01:35:09,212
- [majestic music playing]
- [cries of victory]
1850
01:35:11,622 --> 01:35:16,039
[scattered cheering]
1851
01:35:19,539 --> 01:35:22,539
[Sa See yells indistinctly]
1852
01:35:31,289 --> 01:35:32,289
[laughs]
1853
01:35:37,122 --> 01:35:39,598
Hurray!
1854
01:35:39,622 --> 01:35:41,098
[narrator] Now that's more like it.
1855
01:35:41,122 --> 01:35:44,182
- [light-hearted music playing]
- And here we are, back in Gaul.
1856
01:35:44,206 --> 01:35:47,348
Not only for our friends' usual banquet,
1857
01:35:47,372 --> 01:35:53,414
but also to hold a celebration
in hon our of Gaul and China.
1858
01:35:55,289 --> 01:35:58,747
Your attention,
the Empress will be speaking now.
1859
01:35:59,997 --> 01:36:01,039
Valiant warriors,
1860
01:36:02,122 --> 01:36:03,997
my gratitude is eternal.
1861
01:36:04,664 --> 01:36:06,348
[Vitalstatistix]
Our hon our, Your Majesty.
1862
01:36:06,372 --> 01:36:09,206
In fact, I'm the one who insisted
we rush to your aid.
1863
01:36:10,622 --> 01:36:12,432
We have come all this way today
1864
01:36:12,456 --> 01:36:14,473
to celebrate a beautiful union.
1865
01:36:14,497 --> 01:36:16,706
[soft music playing]
1866
01:36:23,206 --> 01:36:25,932
That's my cousin. Remix's the name.
1867
01:36:25,956 --> 01:36:27,807
He's a specialist of world music!
1868
01:36:27,831 --> 01:36:31,432
He's my cousin, he's mine, all mine.
He is not, at all, your cousin, he's my...
1869
01:36:31,456 --> 01:36:32,622
- Shush!
- [scoffs]
1870
01:37:05,206 --> 01:37:06,872
[muffled protest]
1871
01:37:18,081 --> 01:37:20,557
[Vitalstatistix] You know,
we're a bit alike, me and you.
1872
01:37:20,581 --> 01:37:21,765
We're chiefs.
1873
01:37:21,789 --> 01:37:24,473
I believe wielding power
gets pretty lonely.
1874
01:37:24,497 --> 01:37:25,831
Wouldn't you say so?
1875
01:37:28,122 --> 01:37:30,098
And... I'm not done.
1876
01:37:30,122 --> 01:37:33,515
And what's more, behind every great man,
there's a great woman.
1877
01:37:33,539 --> 01:37:36,598
Without Impedimenta, I'm lost.
At home, she's wearing the moustache.
1878
01:37:36,622 --> 01:37:39,348
Not interrupting, am I? Having a nice day?
1879
01:37:39,372 --> 01:37:41,682
[Impedimenta] Huh?
We'll settle this at home.
1880
01:37:41,706 --> 01:37:44,289
- [tutting]
- Hey, Mimenta!
1881
01:37:44,956 --> 01:37:47,497
Excuse me.
Just some minor marital strife to settle.
1882
01:37:48,081 --> 01:37:50,098
Mimenta! Mimenta!
1883
01:37:50,122 --> 01:37:52,289
[sighs] I thought he would never leave.
1884
01:37:54,497 --> 01:37:57,581
You know what? When you left the cell,
I recovered my head.
1885
01:37:58,164 --> 01:37:59,016
Mm.
1886
01:37:59,040 --> 01:38:01,997
What I lost, though,
was my poor little heart.
1887
01:38:02,581 --> 01:38:04,223
- Oh, don't be silly.
- [both giggle]
1888
01:38:04,247 --> 01:38:06,997
And so, what have you done with it?
1889
01:38:09,372 --> 01:38:10,640
See that, Bankruptis?
1890
01:38:10,664 --> 01:38:12,973
Huh? Prison didn't stop
your unkie's oo-la-la!
1891
01:38:12,997 --> 01:38:14,997
[laughs] High class.
1892
01:38:15,997 --> 01:38:17,164
[barking]
1893
01:38:21,289 --> 01:38:22,765
Hey. Bring another plate.
1894
01:38:22,789 --> 01:38:24,890
Or even better, a big dish, okay?
Wanna share?
1895
01:38:24,914 --> 01:38:27,706
- No. I'm not gonna give in now.
- Right, sorry.
1896
01:38:29,081 --> 01:38:31,057
So you still don't miss it?
1897
01:38:31,081 --> 01:38:32,723
Why would I miss it?
1898
01:38:32,747 --> 01:38:35,456
I tell you,
I can't even stand the smell now.
1899
01:38:36,789 --> 01:38:39,372
What I might miss sometimes
is the midnight snack, you know?
1900
01:38:39,997 --> 01:38:41,877
After a barley beer or two,
it gets complicated.
1901
01:38:43,331 --> 01:38:44,331
Obélix?
1902
01:38:45,206 --> 01:38:46,456
Panacea.
1903
01:38:46,997 --> 01:38:47,808
Am I in the way?
1904
01:38:47,832 --> 01:38:49,265
- No.
- [Panacea] I am.
1905
01:38:49,289 --> 01:38:51,956
I can tell.
Since you're back, I'm invisible.
1906
01:38:53,372 --> 01:38:56,039
Are the rumours true, about you and her?
1907
01:38:56,831 --> 01:38:57,932
This is ridiculous.
1908
01:38:57,956 --> 01:39:00,098
Long distance relationships don't work.
1909
01:39:00,122 --> 01:39:03,039
Think about the situation.
'Cause I'm here.
1910
01:39:03,956 --> 01:39:06,307
Been waiting for months, worried to death,
1911
01:39:06,331 --> 01:39:08,081
while you were chasing another woman?
1912
01:39:08,872 --> 01:39:09,890
Do you not love me?
1913
01:39:09,914 --> 01:39:12,182
- Huh?
- [Panacea] Well do you or don't you?
1914
01:39:12,206 --> 01:39:15,265
You used to love me.
So is it a yes or a no?
1915
01:39:15,289 --> 01:39:17,307
- [Panacea] Do I have to forget you?
- Tell her yes.
1916
01:39:17,331 --> 01:39:18,664
Listen, Panacea... Pff...
1917
01:39:19,747 --> 01:39:20,747
it's not happening.
1918
01:39:21,206 --> 01:39:23,831
This village goes
from one adventure to another.
1919
01:39:25,081 --> 01:39:28,414
And it's time I did as well.
That's all. Nothing personal.
1920
01:39:29,497 --> 01:39:31,307
Now if you'll excuse me...
1921
01:39:31,331 --> 01:39:32,331
You're a fool.
1922
01:39:34,122 --> 01:39:36,497
But, uh, I'm still...
1923
01:39:40,456 --> 01:39:42,348
[soft konghou playing]
1924
01:39:42,372 --> 01:39:46,289
[singing "(I've Had) The Time of My Life"
in Chinese]
1925
01:41:03,414 --> 01:41:05,581
[mouthing]
1926
01:41:09,872 --> 01:41:13,414
[mysterious music playing]
1927
01:41:14,122 --> 01:41:16,997
["(I've Had) The Time of My Life"
continues]
1928
01:41:22,622 --> 01:41:24,206
[cheering]
1929
01:41:27,706 --> 01:41:29,247
[muffled protest]
1930
01:41:59,122 --> 01:42:00,557
Nice party, huh?
1931
01:42:00,581 --> 01:42:02,706
I thought everyone had a good time.
1932
01:42:04,081 --> 01:42:05,706
It was a good party.
1933
01:42:08,456 --> 01:42:10,557
So Ka Ra Tay, she... she left, didn't she?
1934
01:42:10,581 --> 01:42:12,581
Well, yeah, long ride home.
1935
01:42:14,539 --> 01:42:16,140
She called me her sweetheart.
1936
01:42:16,164 --> 01:42:17,348
[soft music playing]
1937
01:42:17,372 --> 01:42:18,664
She did?
1938
01:42:19,206 --> 01:42:20,973
That's amazing, Oby.
1939
01:42:20,997 --> 01:42:23,640
And so, she didn't...
she didn't feel like staying?
1940
01:42:23,664 --> 01:42:25,497
Well, she wanted to, of course, but...
1941
01:42:26,122 --> 01:42:29,247
she's got work in China,
big responsibilities in the palace.
1942
01:42:30,206 --> 01:42:33,081
No big deal, it'll happen.
When we grow up.
1943
01:42:34,206 --> 01:42:35,016
When you grow up?
1944
01:42:35,040 --> 01:42:36,872
Well... yeah.
1945
01:42:37,581 --> 01:42:38,581
Well...
1946
01:42:39,081 --> 01:42:41,247
I'm tired, I'm gonna go to bed.
1947
01:42:41,831 --> 01:42:42,872
[Obélix yawns]
1948
01:42:43,997 --> 01:42:45,539
- Hey, Oby?
- Hmm?
1949
01:42:46,122 --> 01:42:47,432
One more for the road, then?
1950
01:42:47,456 --> 01:42:49,622
- Oh, don't mind if I do!
- [chuckles]
1951
01:42:51,206 --> 01:42:52,914
[Obélix laughs]
1952
01:42:56,831 --> 01:42:58,515
Oh, Oby...
1953
01:42:58,539 --> 01:42:59,723
Aw, mate.
1954
01:42:59,747 --> 01:43:01,872
[both laugh]
1955
01:43:02,497 --> 01:43:03,433
Oby!
1956
01:43:03,457 --> 01:43:04,557
Oh, Astérix!
1957
01:43:04,581 --> 01:43:05,997
Obélix!
1958
01:43:06,831 --> 01:43:08,515
[muffled laughter]
1959
01:43:08,539 --> 01:43:10,622
[Astérix!] I can't breathe.
1960
01:43:15,747 --> 01:43:16,848
{\an8}THE END
1961
01:43:16,872 --> 01:43:19,265
{\an8}TO RENÉ GOSCINNY & ALBERT UDERZO
1962
01:43:19,289 --> 01:43:21,372
[upbeat adventure music playing]
1963
01:44:14,747 --> 01:44:15,932
[music stops]
1964
01:44:15,956 --> 01:44:17,872
- [rock music playing]
- [Cacofonix] Cou cou!
1965
01:44:18,622 --> 01:44:21,997
[in French]
♪ You don't want me to sing? ♪ [Laughs]
1966
01:44:25,247 --> 01:44:26,497
♪ I'm gonna sing anyway ♪
1967
01:44:28,581 --> 01:44:31,706
♪ You don't want me to sing? Hmm? ♪
1968
01:44:32,622 --> 01:44:34,057
- ♪ You don't want me to sing ♪
- Oh!
1969
01:44:34,081 --> 01:44:36,473
- I forgot the surprise.
- What surprise?
1970
01:44:36,497 --> 01:44:37,706
Wait here.
1971
01:44:39,789 --> 01:44:42,640
{\an8}♪ So what is it, my voice or just me? ♪
1972
01:44:42,664 --> 01:44:45,289
{\an8}♪ So is it me or my voice? ♪
1973
01:44:46,289 --> 01:44:49,182
{\an8}♪ So is my voice not right?
It's what you don't like? ♪
1974
01:44:49,206 --> 01:44:50,956
♪ Or is it just me? ♪
1975
01:44:51,706 --> 01:44:54,390
♪ Tell me what's wrong
Always something wrong ♪
1976
01:44:54,414 --> 01:44:57,432
♪ Don't do this, don't do that ♪
1977
01:44:57,456 --> 01:45:00,265
♪ Is it my lyrics or my voice
I don't get it ♪
1978
01:45:00,289 --> 01:45:03,206
♪ Don't call me paranoid
You're all against me ♪
1979
01:45:05,122 --> 01:45:06,831
♪ You don't want me to sing? ♪
1980
01:45:07,664 --> 01:45:10,515
- ♪ Hmm? ♪
- [Obélix laughs]
1981
01:45:10,539 --> 01:45:12,557
♪ I'm gonna sing anyway ♪
1982
01:45:12,581 --> 01:45:15,372
[Astérix, Obélix] Oh!
1983
01:45:16,247 --> 01:45:18,372
♪ You don't want me to sing? ♪
1984
01:45:21,914 --> 01:45:24,539
♪ I'm gonna sing anyway ♪
1985
01:45:26,789 --> 01:45:27,932
[Cacofonix sings]
1986
01:45:27,956 --> 01:45:29,807
[Biopix] What did Caesar
say about his palace?
1987
01:45:29,831 --> 01:45:32,164
"When I get back, I want it shiny."
1988
01:45:32,789 --> 01:45:34,081
So get it shiny!
1989
01:45:34,706 --> 01:45:35,932
Shine, shine, shine...
1990
01:45:35,956 --> 01:45:39,914
- Shine, you fools.
- There you go, that's the spirit.
1991
01:45:42,956 --> 01:45:44,432
You get the whole Gaulish market.
1992
01:45:44,456 --> 01:45:46,557
All I want is China,
and the rest of the world.
1993
01:45:46,581 --> 01:45:48,807
It's a mega deal! Take it or leave it.
1994
01:45:48,831 --> 01:45:50,515
I demand you give me an answer.
1995
01:45:50,539 --> 01:45:52,140
What's this mega deal you're making?
1996
01:45:52,164 --> 01:45:54,015
- I never said mega deal...
- Yes, you did,
1997
01:45:54,039 --> 01:45:55,848
you miserable Kh'mar.
An accomplished merchant
1998
01:45:55,872 --> 01:45:58,557
such as myself
can read lips three miles away?
1999
01:45:58,581 --> 01:46:01,098
- So why'd you say that?
- I didn't!
2000
01:46:01,122 --> 01:46:02,831
[both argue]
2001
01:46:04,997 --> 01:46:07,848
I'm telling you, honey,
you'll get your Julius back for sure.
2002
01:46:07,872 --> 01:46:10,348
All you gotta do
is send him a message saying,
2003
01:46:10,372 --> 01:46:13,515
"I'll cross oceans and ponds,
even dye my hair blonde..."
2004
01:46:13,539 --> 01:46:16,098
And voilà, he'll be at your doorstep
before you know it.
2005
01:46:16,122 --> 01:46:17,932
[sighs] I guess so.
2006
01:46:17,956 --> 01:46:20,122
Don't know why I get so embalmed about it.
2007
01:46:21,956 --> 01:46:25,848
Aw. Oh no, it's flat.
You wouldn't have a poultry charger?
2008
01:46:25,872 --> 01:46:28,539
Ah! Don't move. I'll get you one.
2009
01:46:29,622 --> 01:46:31,539
With an Egyptian plug?
2010
01:46:32,372 --> 01:46:33,622
[Caesar] Why not a Roman one?
2011
01:46:34,789 --> 01:46:36,206
[Cleo laughs]
2012
01:46:38,539 --> 01:46:40,640
[Cacofonix] ♪ I'm gonna sing anyway ♪
2013
01:46:40,664 --> 01:46:42,789
- [laughter]
- He just sang anyway.
2014
01:46:44,706 --> 01:46:47,807
[man 1]
Hey, you about done with the noise?
2015
01:46:47,831 --> 01:46:49,997
[man 2]
We wanna get some sleep around here!
2016
01:46:51,664 --> 01:46:53,372
[both laughing]
2017
01:46:55,081 --> 01:46:56,081
I'm sorry!
2018
01:47:00,497 --> 01:47:01,682
[Astérix] Good night!
2019
01:47:01,706 --> 01:47:04,081
[Obélix] Good night you goody-goody-Gauls!
2020
01:47:05,747 --> 01:47:08,414
{\an8}["Ils Sont Fous, Ces Humains" playing]
2020
01:47:09,305 --> 01:48:09,535
Watch any video online with Open-SUBTITLES
Free Browser extension: osdb.link/ext
149854
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.