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1
00:00:06,318 --> 00:00:09,337
This is make or break, folks.
2
00:00:09,338 --> 00:00:12,377
Danny Poker's searching Melman's face
3
00:00:12,378 --> 00:00:14,337
for any clue he can find.
4
00:00:14,338 --> 00:00:16,357
He ain't got shit.
5
00:00:16,358 --> 00:00:18,477
Just a pair of threes.
6
00:00:18,478 --> 00:00:20,367
Ghost just gave him the cards again.
7
00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:22,327
- Oh. Mm-hmm.
- There's a ghost on screen?
8
00:00:22,328 --> 00:00:23,357
- Right now?
- Yeah.
9
00:00:23,358 --> 00:00:25,437
- The entire pot.
- All in.
10
00:00:25,438 --> 00:00:28,367
Danny calls the bluff!
How does he Al...
11
00:00:28,368 --> 00:00:29,427
Right there. Right there! Look!
12
00:00:29,428 --> 00:00:31,327
Oh, yeah. Okay, I think I see it.
13
00:00:31,328 --> 00:00:33,067
It's like a silhouette
of, like, an old woman.
14
00:00:33,092 --> 00:00:34,427
No, no, a very large man.
15
00:00:34,428 --> 00:00:36,317
- Could've been a bodybuilder.
- Okay, no, I don't see it.
16
00:00:36,318 --> 00:00:38,477
Oh, my God. Clyde,
do you know what this means?
17
00:00:38,478 --> 00:00:40,467
You can capture a ghost on film,
but nobody can see him.
18
00:00:40,468 --> 00:00:43,168
It means somebody else out
there can see ghosts.
19
00:00:43,193 --> 00:00:45,082
It's not just me.
I'm not alone in the world.
20
00:00:45,107 --> 00:00:46,357
Oh, right!
21
00:00:46,879 --> 00:00:49,840
Holy shit, and that person
is Danny Pokertini!
22
00:00:49,865 --> 00:00:51,198
- This guy?
- Holy shit.
23
00:00:51,223 --> 00:00:53,182
- This guy's a genius.
- He seems to be
24
00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:55,042
- fairly intelligent.
- Let me... no, no, no.
25
00:00:55,043 --> 00:00:56,102
You don't even know.
26
00:00:56,103 --> 00:00:57,222
I wanna know everything about this guy.
27
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,072
- Okay.
- Who is he?
28
00:00:59,073 --> 00:01:00,172
- His Insta is...
- Where does he come from?
29
00:01:00,173 --> 00:01:01,173
Right here. Look at this. Look at this!
30
00:01:01,174 --> 00:01:02,017
- Look. Ladies.
- Yeah.
31
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:03,562
- Titties.
- Yeah.
32
00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:05,652
- Guns, titties.
- Titties.
33
00:01:05,653 --> 00:01:07,632
Boats, titties.
34
00:01:07,633 --> 00:01:09,762
- Drones, titties.
- Titties.
35
00:01:10,253 --> 00:01:12,001
- Look at that double blowjob.
- Holy shit.
36
00:01:12,026 --> 00:01:13,065
- Look at that.
- God.
37
00:01:13,067 --> 00:01:14,548
Titties, titties.
38
00:01:14,548 --> 00:01:16,516
Holy fucking shit!
39
00:01:16,517 --> 00:01:18,566
- His cat is so adorable!
- So goddamn cute.
40
00:01:18,567 --> 00:01:20,401
- Holy shit!
- Okay, I'm in. I love this guy.
41
00:01:20,402 --> 00:01:21,512
What... how do we meet him?
He seems like he's
42
00:01:21,513 --> 00:01:22,562
- a fucking rock star.
- How do we meet him?
43
00:01:22,563 --> 00:01:24,402
Go back to the top.
44
00:01:24,404 --> 00:01:26,403
Last post. Boom!
45
00:01:27,205 --> 00:01:28,930
Club Le Douche.
46
00:01:29,152 --> 00:01:30,482
Tonight, Danny Poker in attendance.
47
00:01:30,484 --> 00:01:33,383
DJ Skillitz putting the
dubsmash in your eardrums.
48
00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:35,141
- Is his dick hanging out?
- No, no, no.
49
00:01:35,166 --> 00:01:37,136
That's just his signature. Zoom in.
50
00:01:39,973 --> 00:01:43,942
That's the smartest
thing I've ever seen.
51
00:01:43,967 --> 00:01:46,601
- The man's a genius.
- A ghost-talking genius.
52
00:01:46,601 --> 00:01:49,729
- Like me.
- Like you.
53
00:01:54,455 --> 00:01:57,463
- Synced and corrected by hawken45 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
54
00:02:23,909 --> 00:02:24,619
Are we a little bit early?
55
00:02:24,620 --> 00:02:26,639
'Cause I feel like I'm still
smelling lunch specials.
56
00:02:26,640 --> 00:02:28,609
Dude, you're trying
to get up in the club
57
00:02:28,610 --> 00:02:31,157
on a Tuesday with two guys and no girls?
58
00:02:31,182 --> 00:02:33,062
- Yeah.
- You show up early.
59
00:02:35,123 --> 00:02:37,081
Hello! No, I'm just pretending
60
00:02:37,082 --> 00:02:38,333
to talk to you on the phone
61
00:02:38,333 --> 00:02:41,082
because I don't wanna look
like a crazy person.
62
00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:42,797
Oh, my gosh. That's hysterical.
63
00:02:46,812 --> 00:02:48,691
Okay, so he didn't see me yet.
64
00:02:48,692 --> 00:02:49,851
- Oh, shit.
- I'm gonna have to pretend
65
00:02:49,852 --> 00:02:52,521
that I'm gonna have to
call you back, okay?
66
00:02:52,522 --> 00:02:55,480
Pac! Pac, is that you?
67
00:02:55,481 --> 00:02:56,660
Hey! Oh, my gosh!
68
00:02:56,661 --> 00:02:58,480
- Hey.
- Hi!
69
00:02:58,481 --> 00:03:00,530
Hey! Hey.
70
00:03:00,531 --> 00:03:02,700
- How are you? Hey.
- Hey. Hey!
71
00:03:03,755 --> 00:03:05,155
Gosh, I feel like I haven't seen you
72
00:03:05,156 --> 00:03:06,953
since our sweet mistake.
73
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:08,711
Yeah, well, we only
hung out the one time,
74
00:03:08,712 --> 00:03:10,456
so that would... that would make sense.
75
00:03:10,457 --> 00:03:12,817
Did he tell you about our sweet mistake?
76
00:03:13,071 --> 00:03:14,162
I don't think so.
77
00:03:14,162 --> 00:03:16,241
Did I? No, I...
78
00:03:16,242 --> 00:03:18,221
Then it's just our
little secret, isn't it?
79
00:03:18,222 --> 00:03:20,241
Just you, me,
80
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:21,563
- the bodies.
- Shut up.
81
00:03:21,564 --> 00:03:22,622
What bodies?
82
00:03:22,623 --> 00:03:23,672
Yeah, I would love to stand here
83
00:03:23,673 --> 00:03:25,389
and talk with you all fucking day,
84
00:03:25,389 --> 00:03:27,436
- but we are running late, so...
- Oh! I'll give you a ride.
85
00:03:27,461 --> 00:03:29,057
I've got the hearse.
It's parked just around the...
86
00:03:29,082 --> 00:03:30,376
No, no, that's cool.
87
00:03:30,401 --> 00:03:32,410
We have transportation plans of our own.
88
00:03:32,411 --> 00:03:34,064
Well, she might be able
to help us get in the club.
89
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:35,974
The club! I love the club.
90
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:37,692
I've got my good bra in the hearse.
91
00:03:37,692 --> 00:03:40,018
- Let's party!
- It's called "Le Douche."
92
00:03:40,043 --> 00:03:41,611
- "Douche"?
- No. You know what? It's fine.
93
00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:43,174
It's... it's... you can't
because you just...
94
00:03:43,199 --> 00:03:45,611
they have a... there's a thing there.
95
00:03:45,612 --> 00:03:47,661
You just... you can't. You just can't.
96
00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:49,621
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry?
97
00:03:49,622 --> 00:03:51,631
Don't... no, don't be sorry. It's fine.
98
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,804
I have... you know what?
I gotta take this call.
99
00:03:53,829 --> 00:03:54,741
Hello, friend.
100
00:03:54,742 --> 00:03:56,601
I'll see you guys later.
101
00:03:56,602 --> 00:03:58,651
Yeah, no, it did not go well.
102
00:03:58,652 --> 00:04:00,581
Well, I don't care
if you don't wanna hear it.
103
00:04:00,582 --> 00:04:02,057
What is the point of having
a fake conversation
104
00:04:02,082 --> 00:04:03,671
if I can't tell you whatever I want?
105
00:04:03,672 --> 00:04:04,801
What was going on there?
106
00:04:04,802 --> 00:04:06,751
We, uh...
107
00:04:06,752 --> 00:04:08,621
we may have had sex.
108
00:04:08,622 --> 00:04:11,591
- Nice.
- With four or five dead bodies.
109
00:04:11,592 --> 00:04:12,985
That explains the tension, man.
110
00:04:13,010 --> 00:04:14,699
I'm telling you, she was into you
111
00:04:14,699 --> 00:04:15,838
and we are not even at the club yet.
112
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,708
I've got a good feeling about tonight.
113
00:04:17,709 --> 00:04:18,788
God, I feel filthy.
114
00:04:18,789 --> 00:04:20,768
Ah, you always feel filthy to me.
115
00:04:34,749 --> 00:04:36,718
I fucked that girl last night.
116
00:04:36,719 --> 00:04:37,858
That's rough. Look at them guys.
117
00:04:37,859 --> 00:04:40,758
Guys, wow.
118
00:04:40,759 --> 00:04:42,868
No way. You guys aren't coming in.
119
00:04:43,262 --> 00:04:44,832
What? What do you mean?
We're the first ones here.
120
00:04:44,832 --> 00:04:45,851
Yeah, and you showed up looking like
121
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,634
Tron and fucking Dick Tracy.
122
00:04:47,634 --> 00:04:48,742
- Thank you.
- What do you want me to do?
123
00:04:48,743 --> 00:04:50,772
- Gentlemen, step aside.
- Hang on, I got this.
124
00:04:50,773 --> 00:04:52,672
So,
125
00:04:52,673 --> 00:04:54,792
what's it gonna take, huh? A 10? A 12?
126
00:04:55,053 --> 00:04:56,668
Actually, I need some of
that for drinks, though.
127
00:04:56,693 --> 00:04:58,228
- Uh, is there a minimum?
- Guys,
128
00:04:58,253 --> 00:05:00,212
my boy Skillitz is
performing tonight, okay?
129
00:05:00,213 --> 00:05:01,638
This shit's gonna be packed
in like a high-end butt plug.
130
00:05:01,639 --> 00:05:03,547
- Hey, Devin. Devin!
- You and you
131
00:05:03,548 --> 00:05:05,442
- are not coming in.
- Come on, man!
132
00:05:05,490 --> 00:05:07,848
- DJ Skillitz.
- Yeah, DJ Skillitz...
133
00:05:07,873 --> 00:05:09,180
- You can hear me?
- performing in here tonight.
134
00:05:09,181 --> 00:05:10,931
There's no choads allowed, okay?
135
00:05:10,932 --> 00:05:12,821
Uh-uh. I need to take a piss.
136
00:05:12,822 --> 00:05:13,941
- I'll be right back.
- You should probably
137
00:05:13,942 --> 00:05:16,256
- go hold his dick, right?
- I do have to pee.
138
00:05:16,281 --> 00:05:17,370
When I start thinking
about it, it's like...
139
00:05:17,371 --> 00:05:18,157
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
140
00:05:18,157 --> 00:05:20,465
You're the only asshole
who can hear me. Why?
141
00:05:20,490 --> 00:05:22,469
I'm a medium, not an asshole,
thank you very much.
142
00:05:22,470 --> 00:05:25,508
It's a power that still raises
a lot of questions in me.
143
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:26,464
And tonight, I'm actually
hoping to meet...
144
00:05:26,465 --> 00:05:27,729
I don't care. As soon
as you started talking,
145
00:05:27,754 --> 00:05:28,763
I realized that I don't care.
146
00:05:28,764 --> 00:05:31,703
Dude-bro, congratulations.
147
00:05:31,704 --> 00:05:33,633
You get to help out
DJ Skillitz right now.
148
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:35,683
Yeah, sounds great, except for
I'm a little preoccupied
149
00:05:35,684 --> 00:05:37,733
with trying to figure out how
to get to your show tonight.
150
00:05:37,734 --> 00:05:39,733
The show I won't be performing
at because I'm dead?
151
00:05:39,734 --> 00:05:42,053
- Exactly.
- If that's what you want,
152
00:05:42,078 --> 00:05:44,147
I got VIP passes back at my place.
153
00:05:44,148 --> 00:05:45,477
Yeah! Fuck yeah! Tradesies.
154
00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:47,396
I'm in! Okay, good.
What do I have to do?
155
00:05:47,398 --> 00:05:50,387
I left a slightly embarrassing
mess in my apartment
156
00:05:50,388 --> 00:05:51,930
and I need someone to clean it up
157
00:05:51,955 --> 00:05:53,194
before I don't show up tonight
158
00:05:53,194 --> 00:05:55,243
- and they come looking for me.
- Left your porn out?
159
00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:56,902
Been there, done that. I lived
160
00:05:56,903 --> 00:05:58,380
in a massage parlor for six months,
161
00:05:58,380 --> 00:06:00,183
had no Wi-Fi. I found
a crate full of magazines
162
00:06:00,208 --> 00:06:01,439
by the Dumpster one time,
163
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,249
brought it inside and whacked
myself into oblivion.
164
00:06:04,273 --> 00:06:05,220
Passed out on...
165
00:06:05,245 --> 00:06:06,709
Please don't tell me this story.
166
00:06:06,710 --> 00:06:07,364
Yeah, you're right.
167
00:06:07,364 --> 00:06:09,383
That's probably more of
a friends and family story.
168
00:06:09,384 --> 00:06:11,413
Clyde, we got a case!
169
00:06:34,414 --> 00:06:36,463
Hey.
170
00:06:37,245 --> 00:06:39,354
It's, uh, not much of a mess, huh?
171
00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:41,314
I don't beat off in the kitchen.
172
00:06:41,315 --> 00:06:42,746
No, oh, sure. Yeah, obviously.
173
00:06:42,746 --> 00:06:44,675
Neither do I. But you
could if you wanted to.
174
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,262
It's beautiful. Very spacious.
175
00:06:46,263 --> 00:06:48,152
You could lay out on the counter there.
176
00:06:48,153 --> 00:06:50,261
Oh, dude, he's got one of these things?
177
00:06:50,262 --> 00:06:52,535
Yo, this thing, like,
balances itself for you.
178
00:06:52,535 --> 00:06:54,195
- Ask him if I can try it.
- Do we have time to try it?
179
00:06:54,251 --> 00:06:56,190
No. Fucking come on.
180
00:06:56,191 --> 00:06:58,200
No. Fucking come on.
181
00:06:58,201 --> 00:07:01,090
- Hey, we'll do it later.
- Okay.
182
00:07:01,091 --> 00:07:02,230
Holy shit.
183
00:07:02,231 --> 00:07:04,191
Quite the "pornucopia."
184
00:07:05,281 --> 00:07:07,290
"Asian Sluts Quarterly,"
185
00:07:07,291 --> 00:07:08,610
"Persian Carpet."
186
00:07:08,611 --> 00:07:11,235
Oh, fuck! The old "United
States of Apparel" mailer.
187
00:07:11,291 --> 00:07:12,651
Oh, God, that takes me back.
188
00:07:13,314 --> 00:07:15,313
Hey, do we have to throw
these out? Can I keep this?
189
00:07:15,314 --> 00:07:16,482
No, I'm not throwing it out!
190
00:07:16,482 --> 00:07:17,621
It's a collection.
191
00:07:17,622 --> 00:07:19,491
He can look at it here.
192
00:07:19,492 --> 00:07:20,641
You gotta put it down. Put it down.
193
00:07:20,642 --> 00:07:22,511
Okay, so what do you think?
194
00:07:22,512 --> 00:07:24,501
Uh, under the closet, into the bed?
195
00:07:24,502 --> 00:07:26,171
- Where do you want this stuff?
- That all can go
196
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,136
- into the closet.
- Okay.
197
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:31,491
Oh, shit!
198
00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:33,472
And that can come out of the closet.
199
00:07:38,642 --> 00:07:40,471
What the holy fuck?
200
00:07:40,472 --> 00:07:41,561
See, that's the reaction.
201
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:42,661
That's the reaction everybody has
202
00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:44,531
- when you die jacking off.
- Wait, this is
203
00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:46,497
a jacking-off accident?
This is a "jaccident"?
204
00:07:46,497 --> 00:07:47,448
Look, it doesn't matter now.
205
00:07:47,448 --> 00:07:48,536
Let's just clean this place up
206
00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:50,392
so this is not how I'm remembered.
207
00:07:50,393 --> 00:07:51,784
And then we can all
go about our business.
208
00:07:51,784 --> 00:07:52,853
You do you, I'll do me.
209
00:07:52,854 --> 00:07:55,346
This is a very, very different cleanup
210
00:07:55,346 --> 00:07:56,525
than I was originally sold on.
211
00:07:56,525 --> 00:07:57,634
Do you want those VIP passes?
212
00:07:57,635 --> 00:07:59,674
I mean, yeah, those would be nice.
213
00:07:59,675 --> 00:08:02,676
Then be a good little girl
and do what daddy wants.
214
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:03,748
Ew.
215
00:08:03,773 --> 00:08:04,900
How much better?
216
00:08:05,178 --> 00:08:06,504
What?
217
00:08:06,505 --> 00:08:08,514
How much better than a
normal beat-off? Ask him.
218
00:08:08,515 --> 00:08:09,704
10 times, easy.
219
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,178
I don't know, man.
Let's just get this over with.
220
00:08:12,178 --> 00:08:13,600
No, no, no. Listen.
221
00:08:13,601 --> 00:08:15,135
This guy had everything
222
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,079
and he died with his dick in his hand.
223
00:08:17,104 --> 00:08:18,393
It must feel fucking incredible.
224
00:08:18,394 --> 00:08:20,381
Ask him. You gotta ask him, man.
225
00:08:20,406 --> 00:08:22,415
Think about all the things
we could be missing out on.
226
00:08:22,416 --> 00:08:24,305
- Look at his dick. It's...
- All right, okay!
227
00:08:24,306 --> 00:08:25,415
Clyde, it's 10 times better, okay?
228
00:08:25,416 --> 00:08:27,062
- Would you just help me lift?
- 10 times?!
229
00:08:27,062 --> 00:08:28,357
10 fucking times?
230
00:08:28,357 --> 00:08:30,664
Think about how amazing
a regular jerk-off feels.
231
00:08:30,696 --> 00:08:31,775
I don't want to right now.
I'm not in the mood.
232
00:08:31,776 --> 00:08:33,755
And then times it by fucking 10!
233
00:08:33,756 --> 00:08:35,615
- Are you kidding me?
- Good convo, Clyde.
234
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:36,734
Okay, come here.
235
00:08:36,735 --> 00:08:38,684
Strictly from a time
management perspective,
236
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,604
I could beat off 10 times less
237
00:08:40,605 --> 00:08:42,624
if I was getting 10 times
more out of every session.
238
00:08:42,625 --> 00:08:43,714
Oh, shit!
239
00:08:43,715 --> 00:08:45,774
Oh, shit! Oh, God!
240
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,634
Clyde!
241
00:08:47,635 --> 00:08:49,574
- Oh, we're touching dicks.
- Oh, shit.
242
00:08:49,575 --> 00:08:50,754
Clyde, help me get his dick off my dick.
243
00:08:50,755 --> 00:08:52,734
- No, roll him off. Roll him off!
- Come on!
244
00:08:52,735 --> 00:08:54,604
Ah, God! Oh, shit.
245
00:08:54,605 --> 00:08:55,764
- Oh. Oh, shit.
- It's debatable
246
00:08:55,765 --> 00:08:57,684
how worth it this would be.
247
00:08:59,645 --> 00:09:01,694
- Oh, God! I gotta put him down.
- Okay.
248
00:09:01,695 --> 00:09:02,764
Let's get him over to the toilet.
249
00:09:02,765 --> 00:09:04,574
- So gross!
- Put him on the toilet.
250
00:09:04,575 --> 00:09:06,604
Oh!
251
00:09:06,605 --> 00:09:07,664
God, he's heavy for a little guy.
252
00:09:07,665 --> 00:09:08,784
Okay.
253
00:09:08,785 --> 00:09:10,634
Here we go.
254
00:09:10,635 --> 00:09:12,694
We'll get some water. Come on, Clyde.
255
00:09:12,695 --> 00:09:14,784
Okay. We're cool!
256
00:09:14,785 --> 00:09:17,574
Yo, what the hell is this?
257
00:09:17,575 --> 00:09:19,230
This is as far as we take you, buddy.
258
00:09:19,255 --> 00:09:21,264
Elvis fucking Presley
died on the toilet,
259
00:09:21,265 --> 00:09:23,304
so this... this is how
you wanna be remembered.
260
00:09:23,305 --> 00:09:24,873
You know what I mean?
261
00:09:24,873 --> 00:09:27,234
I guess it is better than
autoerotic asphyxiation.
262
00:09:27,274 --> 00:09:29,283
- Totally.
- Passes are on the counter.
263
00:09:29,284 --> 00:09:32,143
Tell the fans that I love them.
264
00:09:32,144 --> 00:09:35,113
Skillitz!
265
00:09:36,264 --> 00:09:38,283
Ooh, ooh! Ah!
266
00:09:38,284 --> 00:09:41,173
Oh. Wow, was that him leaving?
267
00:09:41,174 --> 00:09:42,273
- Yeah, that was him.
- I felt that.
268
00:09:42,274 --> 00:09:43,770
That was really easy, actually.
269
00:09:43,771 --> 00:09:45,750
You know that feeling when
everything's just going right?
270
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,730
I do.
271
00:09:47,731 --> 00:09:49,600
- Come on in! It's open!
- No!
272
00:09:49,601 --> 00:09:50,601
What? Shit!
273
00:09:53,791 --> 00:09:55,720
Hey, Skillz.
274
00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:56,820
It's Dilana Frank,
275
00:09:56,821 --> 00:09:59,610
"Tumbling Stone" magazine.
276
00:09:59,611 --> 00:10:00,750
Shit.
277
00:10:00,751 --> 00:10:02,750
- What do we do?
- What else?
278
00:10:02,751 --> 00:10:04,700
Hey... hey, what's up, girl?
279
00:10:04,701 --> 00:10:06,700
- What? What is that?
- It's my Skillitz voice.
280
00:10:06,701 --> 00:10:08,640
Do you wanna do the interview here
281
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:10,750
or go get a bite to eat?
282
00:10:10,751 --> 00:10:12,740
- No.
- No, I'd rather do it in here
283
00:10:12,741 --> 00:10:13,820
- in the shower.
- Why?!
284
00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:15,700
'Cause I... 'cause I'm so...
285
00:10:15,701 --> 00:10:16,780
I'm so fucking dirty from dropping beats
286
00:10:16,781 --> 00:10:18,342
in my pants all day.
287
00:10:18,343 --> 00:10:19,372
What the fuck?
288
00:10:19,373 --> 00:10:20,542
Dude, that is negative energy.
289
00:10:20,543 --> 00:10:22,522
You're making this worse.
Don't add pressure.
290
00:10:22,523 --> 00:10:25,382
You mind if I ask who you've
got in there with you?
291
00:10:25,383 --> 00:10:26,552
No doubt. It's my soap bitch.
292
00:10:26,553 --> 00:10:29,213
Got my soap bitch in here.
He delivers me all my soaps.
293
00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:31,070
You know, them dope soaps. Go say hi.
294
00:10:31,071 --> 00:10:32,260
That's not even how he talks.
295
00:10:32,261 --> 00:10:34,160
Trust me. I've had Skillitz
yapping in my ear all day.
296
00:10:34,161 --> 00:10:36,130
- I've got this voice down.
- Seriously?
297
00:10:36,131 --> 00:10:37,280
Man, that's negative energy.
You're fucking my shit up.
298
00:10:37,281 --> 00:10:39,240
- Tell her to go away.
- I just invited her in.
299
00:10:39,241 --> 00:10:42,141
- That'll be fucking weird.
- What the fuck is a soap bitch?
300
00:10:45,442 --> 00:10:47,195
Hey! How are you?
301
00:10:47,220 --> 00:10:49,581
I was just, uh, delivering some soaps.
302
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,511
Soaps?
303
00:10:51,512 --> 00:10:52,621
Right.
304
00:10:52,622 --> 00:10:54,621
Is that what they call it
305
00:10:54,622 --> 00:10:56,671
in the future?
306
00:10:57,597 --> 00:10:59,580
Look, um, I don't give a shit.
307
00:10:59,582 --> 00:11:02,451
I don't put the drug dealer
in the interview, so...
308
00:11:02,452 --> 00:11:04,631
Fire away! Skillitz wants to talk.
309
00:11:04,632 --> 00:11:07,441
All right. You mind if I record?
310
00:11:07,442 --> 00:11:09,521
Do you mind if I remix it later?
311
00:11:09,522 --> 00:11:11,501
Shit. Remix!
312
00:11:11,502 --> 00:11:14,069
Skillitz, Skillitz, Skillitz!
313
00:11:14,094 --> 00:11:16,228
- Panties drop.
- I'm cool if you're cool.
314
00:11:16,253 --> 00:11:18,182
Oh, I'd say I'm pretty fucking cool.
315
00:11:18,183 --> 00:11:20,112
- I'm fucking Skillitz.
- Yes, you are.
316
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,212
You know, I just realized
317
00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:23,032
I forgot to give him
a couple more soaps,
318
00:11:23,033 --> 00:11:26,032
- so if you'll excuse me.
- Yeah.
319
00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:27,232
Hey, tone it down!
320
00:11:27,233 --> 00:11:29,112
Why are you in the shower?
321
00:11:29,113 --> 00:11:30,222
'Cause I wanted it to sound authentic.
322
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,072
All right, I'm gonna dive right in.
323
00:11:32,073 --> 00:11:34,202
Uh, I got a couple of softballs here,
324
00:11:34,203 --> 00:11:37,072
but I think we both
know my real questions
325
00:11:37,073 --> 00:11:39,778
are about this feud you
have brewing with DeadR@t.
326
00:11:39,779 --> 00:11:41,806
A lot of people say
it might not be real.
327
00:11:41,807 --> 00:11:42,906
- You sound crazy.
- What?
328
00:11:42,907 --> 00:11:44,836
Act like a real rock star. Play it cool.
329
00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:46,836
- Okay, chill.
- Skillz?
330
00:11:46,837 --> 00:11:49,488
- You there?
- Yeah, girl. Still here.
331
00:11:49,513 --> 00:11:51,842
Can you say that last
part one more again?
332
00:11:51,867 --> 00:11:54,217
Well, I was just saying
it doesn't change the fact
333
00:11:54,242 --> 00:11:56,912
that DeadR@t called
you a rip-off artist.
334
00:11:56,937 --> 00:11:58,956
- DeadR@t said that about me?
- Yep.
335
00:11:58,957 --> 00:12:01,846
The rodent with the
fucking X'd-out eyes?
336
00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:04,896
Is the sting from that
insult still fresh?
337
00:12:04,897 --> 00:12:06,926
I fucking hate DeadR@t.
338
00:12:07,199 --> 00:12:08,314
That one song, I guess,
339
00:12:08,315 --> 00:12:09,394
was stuck in my head for six months
340
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:11,157
when I worked at the massage parlor.
341
00:12:11,158 --> 00:12:12,616
Now he's talking shit about me?
342
00:12:12,641 --> 00:12:13,770
You worked at a massage parlor?
343
00:12:13,771 --> 00:12:17,098
DeadR@t is what Jude Law
listens to on his period.
344
00:12:17,373 --> 00:12:19,423
You can quote me on that one.
345
00:12:19,771 --> 00:12:21,650
Yo, can I tweet that?
346
00:12:21,651 --> 00:12:25,640
Absolutely. He's a pussy!
347
00:12:25,641 --> 00:12:28,566
Oh, he slipped!
348
00:12:28,567 --> 00:12:31,027
But, uh... but I'm sure he'll be fine.
349
00:12:31,052 --> 00:12:32,664
He just, uh... he's just
a little out of it.
350
00:12:32,665 --> 00:12:33,815
We should probably reschedule now.
351
00:12:33,816 --> 00:12:36,675
Oh, my God! Are you okay?
352
00:12:36,676 --> 00:12:37,656
Skill?
353
00:12:38,746 --> 00:12:40,755
- One word. One word.
- Skill?
354
00:12:40,756 --> 00:12:42,321
Skillitz for life!
355
00:12:42,321 --> 00:12:44,250
Oh, look at that. He
just passed out again.
356
00:12:44,251 --> 00:12:46,665
Uh, we'll definitely
have to reschedule.
357
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:48,236
He's fine, though. This
happens sometimes.
358
00:12:48,261 --> 00:12:49,669
Oh, my God!
359
00:12:49,670 --> 00:12:50,759
Is there anything I can do?
360
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,668
No, everything is fine.
Thank you so much.
361
00:12:52,669 --> 00:12:54,645
I will be in touch to reschedule.
362
00:12:54,646 --> 00:12:55,825
Okay, yeah, that sounds great.
Thanks very much, now.
363
00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:58,729
And I'm assuming these passes
on the counter are mine?
364
00:12:58,730 --> 00:13:00,830
Yep, that sounds great. Thank you.
365
00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,649
All right. Feel better.
366
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:04,829
- Fucking weird.
- What, uh...
367
00:13:04,830 --> 00:13:06,679
what passes are on the counter?
368
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:08,679
Huh? Oh, fuck me.
369
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,700
Shit!
370
00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:17,729
Shit.
371
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:19,789
Yep, we gave her our passes.
372
00:13:19,790 --> 00:13:21,670
Well, shit. What are we gonna do?
373
00:13:27,790 --> 00:13:29,700
No. No.
374
00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:32,665
- No. No!
- Yes.
375
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,300
Holy shit, I think this is working.
376
00:13:36,325 --> 00:13:38,055
"Weekend at Ernie's," baby. Foolproof.
377
00:13:38,056 --> 00:13:40,084
Yeah! Except I think
you mean "Bernie's."
378
00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:42,003
No, you're thinking of "Sesame Street."
379
00:13:42,004 --> 00:13:44,007
- No, that's Ernie.
- Mm-mm. Bernie and Ernie.
380
00:13:44,677 --> 00:13:46,244
I think you got your wires
crossed a little bit, bud...
381
00:13:46,269 --> 00:13:48,348
- Oh, shit. Oh, shit!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! Pac!
382
00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:49,929
Oh. Cop.
383
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,029
- Where?
- There's a cop coming over here.
384
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,930
- He's walking towards us.
- Oh, shit!
385
00:13:52,931 --> 00:13:54,050
Okay, quick. If I yell
Mayday, just drop the body
386
00:13:54,051 --> 00:13:55,860
- and run, okay?
- No, no, no! I'm not fast.
387
00:13:55,861 --> 00:13:56,960
Well, then be wily.
388
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:57,980
I don't even know what that word is!
389
00:13:59,656 --> 00:14:01,645
Hey! Is that DJ Skillitz?
390
00:14:02,501 --> 00:14:05,192
Oh, my fucking God!
391
00:14:05,193 --> 00:14:07,052
Hey, you guys wanna party with us?
392
00:14:09,418 --> 00:14:10,527
Yes, we do. Yeah.
393
00:14:10,528 --> 00:14:11,567
Wanna get that door?
394
00:14:15,672 --> 00:14:17,581
Let's get a picture, you guys!
395
00:14:17,582 --> 00:14:18,641
Ready?
396
00:14:18,642 --> 00:14:21,681
Girls' night!
397
00:14:21,706 --> 00:14:23,551
Ugh, God, I look so bad.
398
00:14:23,551 --> 00:14:26,513
You always look so sexy. Okay, one more.
399
00:14:26,538 --> 00:14:27,817
Is this real champagne?
400
00:14:27,817 --> 00:14:29,706
Pac, this is real champagne!
401
00:14:29,707 --> 00:14:30,876
- What's fake champagne?
- Oh, man.
402
00:14:30,877 --> 00:14:32,686
Oh, shit! Oh!
403
00:14:33,817 --> 00:14:35,746
Oh, my God!
404
00:14:35,747 --> 00:14:37,717
You're so forward.
405
00:14:40,548 --> 00:14:43,277
Mm, you taste like a dead fucking dog.
406
00:14:43,302 --> 00:14:45,281
- I love it.
- Sabrina, you should totally
407
00:14:45,282 --> 00:14:47,271
take him to the hot tub.
408
00:14:47,272 --> 00:14:49,211
- Let's do it!
- That's a bad idea.
409
00:14:49,212 --> 00:14:51,227
I think... Sabrina, that's a bad idea.
410
00:14:51,228 --> 00:14:52,624
Okay, if you're gonna
do it, just be careful!
411
00:14:52,624 --> 00:14:55,573
- He's fragile!
- So how do you know Skillitz?
412
00:14:55,574 --> 00:14:57,222
Uh, how do we know him?
413
00:14:57,247 --> 00:14:59,256
Well, we're, uh... we've
always sort of just
414
00:14:59,257 --> 00:15:01,276
- been part of his entourage.
- That's right, yeah.
415
00:15:01,277 --> 00:15:03,423
Sort of like that HBO show "Ballers."
416
00:15:03,424 --> 00:15:05,392
"Ballers"!
417
00:15:14,454 --> 00:15:16,444
Okay. Clyde, let's do it.
418
00:15:17,524 --> 00:15:19,509
- Pac! Pac!
- Oh, shit.
419
00:15:19,510 --> 00:15:21,389
- Hi, hi!
- Hi, hi.
420
00:15:21,414 --> 00:15:23,615
- Oh, God, what a surprise.
- Well, not really,
421
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:24,768
'cause I told you we were
gonna be here, but...
422
00:15:24,769 --> 00:15:26,608
Oh, my gosh! What's up?
Where you coming from?
423
00:15:26,609 --> 00:15:27,748
Who are those girls?
424
00:15:27,749 --> 00:15:29,265
Not that it's any of
your fucking business,
425
00:15:29,290 --> 00:15:31,229
but those girls... very attractive,
426
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:32,818
very frisky girls... were helping us
427
00:15:32,818 --> 00:15:33,847
transport a very important
friend of ours.
428
00:15:33,848 --> 00:15:35,573
Fuck, they drove off!
429
00:15:35,598 --> 00:15:37,009
Who? Oh!
430
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,960
- I remember who.
- Hey, wait! Wait a sec!
431
00:15:40,798 --> 00:15:41,947
Are you still not there?
432
00:15:41,948 --> 00:15:43,897
I told you I'm not fast enough!
433
00:15:43,898 --> 00:15:45,977
Wait! Hey!
434
00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:47,867
- Hey, come on!
- I'm trying.
435
00:15:47,868 --> 00:15:49,042
It's... it's actually really slow.
436
00:15:49,043 --> 00:15:51,242
You're better off running.
437
00:15:51,267 --> 00:15:52,181
Whoa!
438
00:15:58,460 --> 00:15:59,161
Rude!
439
00:16:00,196 --> 00:16:01,704
Skillitz shit the hot tub.
440
00:16:01,705 --> 00:16:02,814
We're not cleaning that up!
441
00:16:02,815 --> 00:16:04,784
His drunk ass is gonna
cost us our deposit.
442
00:16:04,785 --> 00:16:07,674
I let him do things my husband
doesn't even get to do
443
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:08,854
and that's how he treats a lady?
444
00:16:08,855 --> 00:16:10,814
Tell him to grow the fuck up.
445
00:16:10,815 --> 00:16:12,694
Okay, I'll be sure to tell him that.
446
00:16:12,695 --> 00:16:13,754
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
447
00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:15,734
- Enjoy your night!
- What the fuck?
448
00:16:15,735 --> 00:16:17,675
- Why didn't you just run, man?
- I don't know.
449
00:16:18,775 --> 00:16:20,908
Clyde, stop dicking around. Come on.
450
00:16:22,438 --> 00:16:24,209
Okay, just fell out of a limo.
451
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:25,684
Uh, damage assessment.
452
00:16:26,137 --> 00:16:27,172
Yeah, he smells a bit.
453
00:16:27,173 --> 00:16:28,344
Definitely dumped the bowels,
454
00:16:28,344 --> 00:16:31,173
but, uh, overall I'd say
he looks pretty good.
455
00:16:31,507 --> 00:16:32,373
Missing a finger.
456
00:16:32,483 --> 00:16:34,187
Yeah, I'm not gonna ask
any questions there.
457
00:16:34,212 --> 00:16:36,393
- Looks like Skillitz to me.
- Yeah, right?
458
00:16:36,393 --> 00:16:38,171
- That guy's fucking dead.
- What?
459
00:16:38,172 --> 00:16:39,546
No, no, no, he's just drunk.
460
00:16:39,547 --> 00:16:40,696
- No, yeah, he's just drunk.
- Uh-uh.
461
00:16:41,561 --> 00:16:43,556
I know a dead body when I see one.
462
00:16:43,557 --> 00:16:45,555
It's my job.
463
00:16:45,557 --> 00:16:47,346
- It's also my pleasure.
- Shit.
464
00:16:47,371 --> 00:16:47,997
Yeah, I know it is.
465
00:16:47,997 --> 00:16:50,016
God, Carol.
466
00:16:50,493 --> 00:16:52,532
Hey, what are the odds of you...
467
00:16:52,622 --> 00:16:54,009
Popping in the alley for a quick one?
468
00:16:54,009 --> 00:16:55,527
See how much life he's got left in him?
469
00:16:55,528 --> 00:16:57,297
Or do a little touch-up on his face
470
00:16:57,298 --> 00:16:58,759
to make him look less dead?
471
00:16:58,759 --> 00:17:00,198
Oh, yeah. I've got my
makeup in the hearse.
472
00:17:00,198 --> 00:17:02,177
Okay, get off me. Let's go, Clyde.
473
00:17:26,751 --> 00:17:28,740
- He looks great.
- Yeah.
474
00:17:29,028 --> 00:17:31,137
I hate to say it, but
you're really good at this.
475
00:17:31,138 --> 00:17:34,107
You know, we don't do this enough.
476
00:17:34,108 --> 00:17:36,207
All right, I'm gonna
let you have that one.
477
00:17:36,208 --> 00:17:38,077
- Carol!
- Ooh.
478
00:17:38,078 --> 00:17:39,590
No pictures!
479
00:17:39,591 --> 00:17:41,590
No pictures.
480
00:17:41,591 --> 00:17:42,740
Hey-ya.
481
00:17:42,741 --> 00:17:45,560
What's up, Skillz? How you living?
482
00:17:45,561 --> 00:17:46,681
Oh, he's living large.
483
00:17:48,761 --> 00:17:50,570
She's not with us.
484
00:17:50,571 --> 00:17:51,640
Uh-uh.
485
00:17:51,641 --> 00:17:53,570
Oh. Oh, no, I'm with them.
486
00:17:53,571 --> 00:17:54,720
Pac?
487
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:56,530
Guys?
488
00:17:56,531 --> 00:17:58,590
Let the Le Douching begin.
489
00:17:58,591 --> 00:17:59,740
Fuck, yeah!
490
00:17:59,741 --> 00:18:02,570
Oh, shit. Oh, my God, is that
Danny Poker right there?
491
00:18:09,661 --> 00:18:11,530
- Now's our chance.
- No, no, no, we gotta
492
00:18:11,531 --> 00:18:12,630
- ditch the body first.
- Oh, right.
493
00:18:12,631 --> 00:18:15,266
Yo, Skill! Baby, where you been, dawg?
494
00:18:15,291 --> 00:18:17,107
We need you onstage, like, yesterday.
495
00:18:17,107 --> 00:18:18,667
- Come on.
- Yeah. Yo, dawg,
496
00:18:18,667 --> 00:18:20,285
actually, he wanted
to sit down for a sec.
497
00:18:20,285 --> 00:18:21,730
We'll get him a chair. Come on.
498
00:18:21,731 --> 00:18:22,849
Yeah, cool, bro.
499
00:18:22,850 --> 00:18:24,649
- Do you have a hoverboard ramp?
- No.
500
00:18:24,650 --> 00:18:25,709
What, are you handicapped?
501
00:18:25,710 --> 00:18:27,789
No, I'm hoverboard friendly.
502
00:18:31,421 --> 00:18:34,649
They love you, Skill!
Give 'em a taste, bro!
503
00:18:34,650 --> 00:18:35,829
Everyone's looking.
Do something!
504
00:18:35,830 --> 00:18:37,839
Fuck, there's so many fucking knobs.
505
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:40,140
What are you doing? What are you doing?!
506
00:18:40,165 --> 00:18:41,889
- Pressing buttons.
- You can't just press a button
507
00:18:41,890 --> 00:18:43,829
and be Skillitz!
508
00:18:47,950 --> 00:18:48,959
All right.
509
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,810
Oh, shit. What about him?
510
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:01,950
Oh, ho, ho, ho!
511
00:19:06,930 --> 00:19:08,830
Good job, man.
512
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:21,939
Excuse me, Mr. Poker?
513
00:19:21,940 --> 00:19:23,979
Excuse me, Danny Pokertini?
514
00:19:23,980 --> 00:19:26,789
I said, Mr. Pokertini?
515
00:19:28,820 --> 00:19:29,949
Shit.
516
00:19:30,572 --> 00:19:32,507
- Copy.
- Where are those d-bags at?
517
00:19:32,508 --> 00:19:34,483
Oh, fuck, oh, fuck. He's onto us.
518
00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:41,597
Hey, yo, Skillitz!
519
00:19:50,758 --> 00:19:52,767
Who's a pussy now, bitch?
520
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,891
Tweet that, motherfucker! Whoo!
521
00:19:56,692 --> 00:19:58,781
Uh, Danny! Fuck.
522
00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:01,721
- Was that Deadr@t?
- Deadr@t's a murderer!
523
00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:03,662
He's a stone-cold murderer.
524
00:20:05,832 --> 00:20:07,782
That's all right. We'll
get him next time.
525
00:20:11,319 --> 00:20:13,182
Or we could just return
this to him tomorrow
526
00:20:13,207 --> 00:20:14,474
at his apartment.
527
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:17,083
Blackjack, bitch!
528
00:20:17,084 --> 00:20:18,961
- Unh!
- Ah.
529
00:20:18,962 --> 00:20:21,071
Oh, God!
530
00:20:21,072 --> 00:20:22,102
Cocaine.
531
00:20:24,467 --> 00:20:26,410
Clyde! The Skillitz interview is up
532
00:20:26,411 --> 00:20:27,808
on the "Tumbling Stone" website!
533
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,373
They used my quote about Jude Law
534
00:20:29,374 --> 00:20:31,506
and the fucking massage
parlor and everything!
535
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:32,601
Is... hey, hey.
536
00:20:33,551 --> 00:20:34,731
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.
537
00:20:36,528 --> 00:20:38,647
- I was just, uh...
- Huh?
538
00:20:38,881 --> 00:20:40,790
- Changing my clothes.
- Yeah, totally, man.
539
00:20:40,791 --> 00:20:41,930
That's cool. And I love change.
I'm just gonna...
540
00:20:41,955 --> 00:20:43,924
I was gonna, like... I'm gonna...
I'm just gonna...
541
00:20:43,925 --> 00:20:45,884
I'm gonna go jerk...
542
00:20:45,885 --> 00:20:47,824
I'm gonna read the article
and I'm gonna go to bed.
543
00:20:47,825 --> 00:20:48,934
Okay. Cool, yeah.
544
00:20:48,934 --> 00:20:50,681
I was just gonna read an article
and go to bed, too, so...
545
00:20:50,681 --> 00:20:52,660
Yeah, cool, man. Good night.
39146
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