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Previously on Nip/Tuck...
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Guess I'm early.
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Maybe I should go.
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Who are you?
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I'm me again, baby.
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I'm back.
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She came into my office for a small procedure.
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What kind of procedure?
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- Matt, it doesn't concern you.
- No, I wanna know.
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So is she a man or a woman?
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What matters is how she views herself, Matt.
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Are you man enough to make up your own mind about what pleases you?
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Buy me a drink?
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Whoa. You got a goddamn dick.
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Why didn't you tell me you were pre-op. You should've told me!
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If I wanna play with someone's cock,
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I got my own, you goddamn freak.
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I'm not gay, if that's what you're thinking, dad.
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You are almost unrecognizable.
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Holy shit.
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Come on, get him!
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He's gonna be all right, Julia.
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It's a simple reset with a couple of stitches.
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In 6 weeks, he'll look like new.
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I'm not worried about what he's gonna look like, Sean.
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I'm worried about what's going on inside him
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that's making him lie to us about what happened.
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He's been completely shut off from us since you told him about Ava.
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Really?
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I thought his erratic behavior began after you decided to serve me with divorce papers.
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What is wrong with you two?
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Matt's bleeding, and you're so self-involved
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you're fighting over who gave him the straight razor.
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Christian, this really isn't any of your business.
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Your neglect of my son is my business.
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Look, I agreed to take a back seat to you two
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because I thought it was better to maintain consistency.
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Obviously, I was wrong.
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As soon as we're done resetting his face, I'm enlisting some professional help
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so we can make him talk about what happened.
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With all due respect, Christian,
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you know more about the different classes of tequila than you know about parenting.
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I know enough to know that the pound wouldn't give either of you
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a 10-year-old mutt covered in its own shit right now.
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What's he doing here?
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Assisting.
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Assisting who?
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Assisting me.
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This kind of cranial-facial work is Quentin's specialty.
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Not letting him operate on Matt would be... neglectful.
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Can't you all do it?
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No, Matt. It's a 2-man job,
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and your father knew that.
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That's all right. Uh, well, I'm the short-timer.
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Christian can assist.
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Well, wait.
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Are you the guy that fixed my dad's face?
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Yes.
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It's ok, Matt.
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You're gonna do great.
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Matt, count back from 10 for me, ok?
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10... 9... 8...
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11 blade...
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Osteotome...
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Mallet.
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How long is this gonna take, Mr. Miller? I've got a meeting in 45 minutes.
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Oh, like 10 minutes, tops.
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Look, I really appreciate you coming on short notice, Dr. Troy.
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The administration's pretty down on the greek system right now.
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We'd probably be expelled for this.
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How'd you get my number?
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You did my mom. Her neck-lift.
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You did a great job, man. She got remarried, like, 4 months later.
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Congratulations.
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Plus, you're kind of a legend around here.
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Legend? Were you a brother at this frat?
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Chapter president, class of '86.
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And guys are still talking about him.
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He turned this fraternity from a sausage fest into a pussy palace all by himself,
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and that's why we thought you'd be cool.
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Now, we can pay you everything in our rites of spring party fund, which is, like, 7 grand,
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but you have to keep this a secret.
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Keep what a secret?
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We tried watering them down and pulling them apart...
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But this stuff is like cement, man.
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Cyanoacrylate.
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This is industrial-strength adhesive.
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Yeah. We tried calling the 800 number on the back of the bottle.
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They said once it dries, all you can use to unstick it
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is a chisel or a scraper or sandpaper.
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We should have enough lidocaine between the two of us for a quickie.
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You wanna operate in here?
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If we don't separate them here, we can't transport them.
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They're 18.
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We need them to sign this consent form to release us from any liability.
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You carry around your own release of liability forms.
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Physicians get sued for doing the heimlich maneuver at a restaurant.
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You need to be prepared.
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Well, infection shouldn't be a problem if we can rush them to the E.R.
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We're gonna have to do some grafting in the office, but it can wait a day.
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Lidocaine or not, it's gonna hurt like hell.
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Hey, what's your name?
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Uh, D-Derek Jordan.
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Derek, I need you to sign this form
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so that Dr. Costa and I can perform surgery on the three of you.
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We're gonna give you local anesthetic, but, uh,
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there's still gonna be some pain.
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Now, you need to stay cool while we're cutting, understand?
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Got it.
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Thank you, Derek.
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And, you, sir?
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Screw this. I wanna go to the hospital. My dad's a doctor. I wanna talk to my dad.
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Your dad is an orthodontist, dickweed!
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You don't think dentists have to go to medical school, asshole?!
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Just sign the damn form, Alex, or I swear to god, I will shit your face.
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Dude, I'm freakin' out.
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If they don't cut me out of here soon, I'm gonna lose it and rip myself off.
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Fine. Give me the goddamn form.
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And you?
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Excellent.
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You guys might wanna leave. It's gonna get, uh, messy in here.
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At least give us some room?
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Please?
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Thank you.
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- Can I ask you a question?
- Mm-hmm.
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Why'd you ask me here with you instead of Sean?
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I was just thinking that if we're gonna be partners, then we needed to
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be active in developing our professional relationship.
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Bottoms up.
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Ready?
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1... 2... 3...
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Sorry.
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Did you read the file?
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Enough of it.
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Can you get him to talk?
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I think I can handle a teenage boy.
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Your dad is an excellent surgeon.
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As soon as the swelling goes down, the girls won't notice a thing.
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Who's this?
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This is Kit McGraw.
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She's a friend of mine.
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She's also a detective in the, uh, Sex Crimes Unit at Miami-Dade.
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Well, this wasn't a sex crime.
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This was just a simple schoolyard fight.
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I mean, why would we waste Ms. McGraw's time with it?
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Because none of the doughnut-dunkers who have interviewed him
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have even come close to finding out who did this.
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Kit is the best detective in the department.
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She's handling the, um--the carver case.
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This is standard stuff for me, Matt.
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The file is pretty clear, but I'd like to go over your story again.
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They really did a number on you, didn't they?
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Matt said it was just one guy.
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The bruising on his arms is indicative of someone holding him down
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while at least one other person worked over his face.
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You seem like a pretty strong kid, but not even you could fight off 3 or 4 guys, right, Matt?
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Well... I mean, I guess it could've been more than one guy.
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After the first sucker punch, I don't really remember much except for the fists.
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In your statement, you described the guy--
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guys-- as latin with some gang tattoos.
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Can you tell me what their girlfriends looked like?
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How the hell would I know that?
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These are fingernail marks.
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When men scratch they cause shallow, uneven cuts.
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These run deep and consistent.
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Someone with long manicured fingernails did this.
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I wish they'd scraped these for polish.
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Yeah, well, whatever. Like I said, I don't remember anything.
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Um, what is this, mom?
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I think this is enough, Miss McGraw. Matt should rest now.
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Thanks, Matt. I'll, uh, amend the report and make sure the investigating officer sees it.
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Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
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That's it?
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He doesn't wanna talk.
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That didn't stop you from strapping the electrodes to my nuts.
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He's just a kid, Christian.
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I didn't bring you here to play tetherball with him, Kit.
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You're taking the leash off?
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Because you might not like what you hear.
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Have you committed a crime in the last few weeks, Matt?
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Rape, assault?
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Something to piss someone off enough for them to seek revenge?
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What? No.
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- Matt was the victim here.
- Matt is lying, Mrs. McNamara.
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People who get assaulted for no reason don't conceal facts.
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They don't forget how many people attacked them or if they were men or women.
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That's what guilty people who were jumped for a reason do.
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Are you saying he did something to precipitate this?
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Whoa. I got jumped.
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I can't believe you're taking her word over mine.
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The police report says you were soaking wet when you were discovered, Matt.
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The lab results on your clothes revealed that the fluid covering your body was urine.
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We weren't told that. Did you know that, Sean?
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No. That's not in the file.
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Not yet, but you know how that works, Doctor.
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You need lab results quickly, you just need to know who to call.
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What did you do to her, Matt?
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Did you screw her best friend, slip her a roofie, rape her?
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What made her so mad that she and a group of her girlfriends felt the need
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to mess up your pretty face and then piss all over you?
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You don't know shit.
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I know that I'd lie, too, if I had the crap beaten out of me by a bunch of cheerleaders.
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They weren't cheerleaders!
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They were men!
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They were men dressed as women.
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One of them made a pass at me outside of a she-male bar,
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and I beat the living shit out of him for it.
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I guess this was revenge.
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What were you doing at a bar for transsexuals?
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I was looking for Ava.
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Military school?
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The Hutton Academy is not a military school, it's a disciplinary institution.
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And the 2 plums between my legs are not balls, they're testicles.
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I can't believe that you want this for him.
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Matt needs something radical, so unless you have any better suggestions...
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He's depressed and highly anxious. I saw we start him off on a low dosage of Luvox,
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and Xanax for panic attacks.
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You're not starting him on anything.
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Matt's not gonna be able to face his issues if he's in a sedated haze.
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They're not sedatives, they just help him relax enough
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so that he can deal with what's really hurting him.
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I don't know, Christian.
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Maybe Sean's right. Matt needs structure, and,
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you know, maybe Hutton wouldn't be the worst idea for a couple of months.
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You put him in a straight jacket, and I swear to god,
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he will gnaw his arms off just to get out of it.
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Wake up, Christian. Our coddling and laissez-faire attitudes
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led to him getting pissed on by a bunch of transsexuals.
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Kids whose parents are on top of them don't beat down strangers outside of bars.
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I won't let you do this.
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It's 2 to one.
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You don't have a choice.
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You all right?
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Used to do this when he was a kid,
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watch him sleep.
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Well, he's going to be fine.
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Young skin, very elastic.
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I'm not worried about the outside scars.
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Those I know I can fix.
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Is every one of your screw-ups your father's fault?
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No.
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Then you need to stop killing yourself about this.
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Shit happens.
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People make mistakes.
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You just need to blow off some steam, and get some perspective.
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Take your head out of that vise.
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If you need anything, give a call.
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Hey.
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Yeah?
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You wanna go grab some stone-crabs?
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I'd love to, but I have plans.
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I think Christian's still here, though.
253
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:43,400
If I can't offer him naked Victoria secret models, and a case of cristal,
254
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,600
I'm persona-non-grata on a friday night.
255
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:51,280
Do you wanna come out with me?
256
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,320
Is this your usual party scene?
257
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:08,880
No. No, even I tend to skew a little older.
258
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:13,280
Christian and I were doing some work over here yesterday. The invite was a thank you.
259
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:14,800
You and Christian?
260
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,480
He didn't tell me about it.
261
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:17,600
Well, it's no big deal.
262
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,000
It was a college prank gone awry.
263
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,000
We don't belong here, these are just kids.
264
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,280
Sean, these are fountains of youth.
265
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:34,080
We work all day on flabby, middle-aged flesh, boob jobs, tummy-tucks, lipo...
266
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:38,200
all we do is try to make 40-year-olds look like these girls.
267
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,400
You can say this is research.
268
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:44,720
Hey, you're not a nerdy pre-med anymore, Sean.
269
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:49,120
You are a hot-shit plastic surgeon in reasonably expensive shoes.
270
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:51,400
These girls are gonna be clawing for you.
271
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,120
Doc, you made it!
272
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,880
- Hey.
- Hey! Is doctor troy with ya?
273
00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:01,800
No, he sends his regrets, and his partner Dr. Sean McNamara.
274
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:03,520
Right on! Hey, man.
275
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:04,200
Hey.
276
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,000
What are the bracelets for?
277
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,680
Oh, it's a bracelet party.
278
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,920
They're color coded.
279
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,520
See, every girl where's which ever color they're looking for tonight.
280
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:19,400
Like, blue means they like head, double blue means they like 69,
281
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:23,120
pink means they're into girls, too. Sorta streamlines the whole process.
282
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,920
Is there a bracelet for girls who likes guys twice their age?
283
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,480
Green. Means they like money.
284
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:30,200
Come on.
285
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,200
How's Matt, Christian?
286
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:39,520
He's recovering faster from the first beat down he got than the one he got from herr McGraw.
287
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,880
Don't let this slide, Christian. That kid has some deep-seated problems.
288
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:44,880
I think I'll skip the parenting advice from the girl
289
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,800
who likes to spank me while I call her "daddy."
290
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,400
Every gay basher I've ever busted was expressing something
291
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,480
they couldn't safely express sexually.
292
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,200
Are you suggesting that Matt is gay?
293
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,880
I'm just suggesting that he should talk to somebody.
294
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,920
3 tickets to the Vin Diesel movie.
295
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:01,520
Ok. I thought we were seeing Jude Law.
296
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,080
I am not sitting through 3 hours of Jude Law.
297
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:06,320
Doesn't he get castrated at the end this one?
298
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,080
You always get to choose the movie. We haven't seen a movie I liked in 2 years.
299
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:14,880
Well, I'm sorry if the movies I like aren't the cinematic masterpieces you direct, Kimber.
300
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:18,080
Those masterpieces grossed more in the first month dvd sales
301
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,720
then you made last year, asshole.
302
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,120
This is your fault.
303
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,480
You're constantly whispering in her ear, trying to box me out.
304
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,400
You've been treating Kimber like shit for years.
305
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,400
You should be thanking me for helping your relationship grow
306
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,200
by making sure she stands up for herself.
307
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,000
Kimber and I understand each other.
308
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,200
We've got a shorthand.
309
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,280
Yeah, and you've been using it to slap her in the ass.
310
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:42,200
Kimber's not some bimbo model anymore. She doesn't need you.
311
00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:45,600
You wanna keep her around, I recommend that you choose your moves,
312
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,000
and your movies, more carefully.
313
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:50,720
Cheer up.
314
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,920
If you're good, I'll give you a handjob in an hour or 2.
315
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,000
2 for the one where the guy gets his balls cut off.
316
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,000
Jerk each other off.
317
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:28,800
Hi.
318
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:30,720
Hi.
319
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,120
I'm Amber.
320
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,800
Sean. My tie.
321
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,600
What do the braided ones mean?
322
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:48,400
That means for the right guy, I'd do anything.
323
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:50,480
Thank you.
324
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:54,320
Cheers.
325
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,400
I'm happy to give you a cursory examination, Amber,
326
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:19,200
but I can tell you before I even look you do not need liposuction.
327
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:30,600
Wait.
328
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:32,200
Now, come on.
329
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,920
I'm old enough to be your father.
330
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,200
Age is just a state of mind.
331
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,000
My medieval lit professor taught me that.
332
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:43,120
I slept with him, too.
333
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,400
Do all surgeons have such great hands?
334
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,680
Do all anthropology majors have such great breasts?
335
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:07,920
You are cute.
336
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,200
Hi.
337
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,000
Do you guys mind if we use the bed?
338
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:31,800
Oh, no problem.
339
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:09,000
Um, I'm sorry. I've got to go.
340
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:11,800
Sorry.
341
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:23,200
Looking for someone?
342
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,120
How does it feel?
343
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,080
It throbs a little.
344
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:36,800
This'll help.
345
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:51,520
Are you pissed at me for wanting that other guy to do my surgery?
346
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,000
Biology aside, Mattie, we're friends.
347
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,600
Takes a lot more than that to piss off a friend.
348
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,280
What about mom and dad?
349
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,800
They're not quite so high on you right now.
350
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,480
They wanna send you to Hutton Academy for the rest of the semester.
351
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,400
That place is a prison camp, man. They can't do that.
352
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:08,800
Technically, they can,
353
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,600
but we're not gonna let 'em.
354
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,680
To make the situation right, you and I have to work as a team.
355
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,120
This is an antidepressant.
356
00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:24,880
Take one tablet every morning.
357
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:29,400
This is for anxiety attacks.
358
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:32,600
Take one tablet every time you feel like you're losing it.
359
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,320
But no booze with these?
360
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,000
- Hmm?
- Ok.
361
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:38,880
Not so fast.
362
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,400
We're teammates, right?
363
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:43,920
Yeah.
364
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,400
I wanna know the truth about you and Ava.
365
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:51,600
Were you completely fooled or was there something about her being a man that worked for you?
366
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,680
Why does everyone suddenly think I'm gay?
367
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:57,920
Because you and I both know you didn't go to that tranny bar believing you'd actually find her.
368
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,680
Look, it's totally cool with me if you are.
369
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:04,720
Look, I like girls, ok?
370
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:08,600
I liked Ava because I thought she was one.
371
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:18,000
I guess someone with your limited experience could be fooled by her.
372
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,400
It was only through my extensive vaginal expertise
373
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:24,000
that I realized I was inside something artificial.
374
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,720
What do you mean inside?
375
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:31,800
Did you sleep with her?
376
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:35,800
Just once.
377
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:38,800
How else do you think we realized she was a post-op?
378
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,000
You call yourself a friend?!
379
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:42,320
Hey!
380
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:46,880
Friends don't sleep with each other's girlfriends!
381
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:50,400
Oh, wait. But I guess you have a habit of doing that, don't you?
382
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:52,800
I was trying to save you from her, you little shit.
383
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,200
I thought that if she had sex with me,
384
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,520
you would see her for the manipulative slut that she is.
385
00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:00,400
Oh? And how did you think I was gonna feel about you afterwards?
386
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:01,920
I didn't care!
387
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,880
I'd rather you hate me than see you destroy yourself.
388
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:13,280
Let her go.
389
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:31,920
What are you doing here?
390
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:37,600
Oh, I'm sorry. I was just picking up a couple of things to bring to Matt, you know,
391
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,120
make him feel more at home.
392
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,320
I guess I've been lingering.
393
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:47,200
I know the feeling.
394
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,720
I actually fell asleep in here last night.
395
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,000
What happened to us, Sean?
396
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,520
You know, I look at his bed, and
397
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:07,520
I remember the 3 of us spending all day in that damn furniture showroom
398
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:12,320
haggling over $200, remember, with the salesman wearing the bad toupee.
399
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:13,600
Oh, god.
400
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:20,320
Those parents would have never let this all happen.
401
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,600
They were naive, but...
402
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,480
they loved each other.
403
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,120
There's still love, Julia.
404
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:28,480
It's just...
405
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,800
it's just buried under all this... shit.
406
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:43,200
Look what I found at the bottom of the desk drawer.
407
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:49,280
"Happy anniversary to Dr. and Mrs. Perfect,
408
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:54,800
love Matt... your son." Ha! That's great.
409
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:55,920
When is this from?
410
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,120
Fourth grade.
411
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,680
I shouldn't have blamed you for all this.
412
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,680
Just tell me everything's gonna be all right.
413
00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:23,280
Everything is gonna be all right.
414
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:19,120
Very nice.
415
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:33,920
What are you doing here?
416
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,000
I thought I'd check myself out.
417
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:39,400
I don't care how expensive the sheets are in that recovery spa,
418
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,120
it still smells like a damn hospital.
419
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,200
That's because it is a hospital, Matt,
420
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,000
for patients that need around-the-clock monitoring.
421
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,920
You're supposed to be on IV fluids for 2 more days.
422
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,320
I can see why you'd want me there.
423
00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:53,200
What's the matter, your own bed have too many bad memories?
424
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,400
This isn't what it looks like, Matt.
425
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,600
Hey, it's cool. If you guys wanna give it another go...
426
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:02,400
No, we're not giving it another go. It was a one-time thing.
427
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:06,600
I'm gonna go put clean sheets on my bed...
428
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:07,800
and take a nap.
429
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:11,280
Xanex?!
430
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,400
Who prescribed these for you?
431
00:28:17,120 --> 00:28:18,200
My dad.
432
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,600
See, that's the advantage of having 3 parents.
433
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,920
You can always be sure that one's gonna give you what you need.
434
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:27,800
Hey--
435
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:29,920
Hey! Don't put your hands on me!
436
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,320
These drugs are only gonna stop your pain temporarily.
437
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:34,800
They're not gonna help you deal with your real problems.
438
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,400
You might think you outrank everyone,
439
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,920
but that doesn't mean you have any idea what I need right now.
440
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:43,400
Then tell us, Matt.
441
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,200
We're your parents. We're not the enemy.
442
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:47,400
Yes, tell me.
443
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,400
Do you need me to hug you? Hit you?
444
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,800
Whatever it takes to get you back, I'll do it.
445
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:57,680
Then give me my pills and leave me alone.
446
00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:59,200
I can't do that.
447
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:01,920
You're in no condition to be self-medicating.
448
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:07,520
Don't ask me what I need if you're not willing to give it to me, all right?
449
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:13,200
I can't believe you took those frat boys up on their offer.
450
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:14,800
Rockin' the cradle of love, huh?
451
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:16,800
Yeah. It was almost too easy.
452
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:18,480
We were like these two vulva magnets.
453
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:19,280
We?
454
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,120
Yeah. Sean came with me.
455
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:27,280
Sean? I... can't see Sean enjoying something like that.
456
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:29,800
Well, tell that to the co-ed who had her head on his lap.
457
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:39,200
I wish I had the energy for a little vagina U, but, uh...
458
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:41,400
I got my hands full at home.
459
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,120
Oh? Girlfriend?
460
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:47,000
My girlfriend I can handle. It's my girlfriend's girlfriend that's wiping me out.
461
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:50,720
You are my idol.
462
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,400
How do you get up for work?
463
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:56,000
The sex isn't the tiring part. It's the constant jockeying for position.
464
00:30:56,040 --> 00:31:00,600
I find myself fighting nonstop to keep my status as cock of the walk.
465
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:04,400
I know. Sounds like quite a burden. Hey, anytime I can help you out...
466
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:07,280
How about tonight?
467
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,400
I'm serious. I--I need a break.
468
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:15,120
Come take kit off my hands for the night, hmm?
469
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:19,120
College bj's are nice, q, but, uh, aim a little higher.
470
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,480
Christian, are you sure there's not gonna be any jealousy?
471
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:26,480
I'd hate to have things be awkward around here.
472
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:28,400
Hardly.
473
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:32,880
I'd consider it a... personal favor.
474
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:42,880
So, Christian tells me that you're working the carver case.
475
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:43,800
Any leads?
476
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:44,880
Some.
477
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:48,200
You've got to stalk his kind of predator.
478
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:51,280
It takes time. My last case took 2 years.
479
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:54,400
Some psycho near stepney green who got off on attacking couples.
480
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:59,000
He'd tie the man up and then make him watch as he raped the girl.
481
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:05,120
Well, there's a fetish for everyone, isn't there?
482
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:09,200
I'm sorry, Kimber, uh...
483
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:11,600
this is very embarrassing.
484
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,680
I'm completely star-struck.
485
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,000
I--I've seen all your movies.
486
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:17,920
How sweet.
487
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:19,600
I have a new series coming up.
488
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:22,720
It's called two girls, a guy, and a cum face.
489
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:25,000
It's loosely based on our personal experiences.
490
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:27,280
We'll be sure to send you the dvds.
491
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:30,720
Porn's for fat kids.
492
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:33,400
Why not offer him the real thing?
493
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:43,680
I--I wouldn't want to impose.
494
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,000
Christian won't mind a friend lending a hand.
495
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:48,200
Not at all.
496
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:51,120
Quentin, if that's what Kit wants,
497
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,200
she's all yours.
498
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:07,120
If you like her movies, wait 'til you have her when she's not acting.
499
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:09,200
She tastes like home maple syrup.
500
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:11,520
Kimber isn't a condiment from ihop, sweetheart.
501
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:13,680
She's not to be passed around the table.
502
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:20,880
It's not your place to invite him into our arrangement, Kit.
503
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:22,600
You're right, Christian.
504
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:24,600
We need a majority.
505
00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:28,400
Would you like us to make love to Quentin tonight, baby?
506
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:32,720
Sure.
507
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:34,320
Why not?
508
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:38,200
Then it's decided.
509
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:41,800
Unless you're uncomfortable, Christian.
510
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:43,280
Or intimidated.
511
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:53,120
Baby, don't worry.
512
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:58,000
If he's taking care of her, then I can have you all to myself again.
513
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:09,200
To, um, even numbers.
514
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:45,000
Hello?
515
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,080
Is Matt there?
516
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:47,400
No, what's wrong?
517
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:51,280
What's wrong is that our son has polished off our entire liquor cabinet.
518
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:52,800
How do you know it was him?
519
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:55,280
Right, Julia, I shouldn't assume.
520
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:58,720
Maybe the booze elves had a big blowout while I was at work!
521
00:34:58,720 --> 00:35:02,080
Oh, Jesus, he knows he's not supposed to be drinking.
522
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,320
If Matt shows up there, tell him I expect him
523
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:07,520
and you and Christian over here tomorrow night to settle this.
524
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:15,280
What's wrong?
525
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,000
Tell me that was an accident, Quentin.
526
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:19,920
Relax, Christian.
527
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:21,400
We're all just having a good time.
528
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:23,600
No, I need to hear him say it.
529
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:26,720
I need to hear him say that he did not mean to grab my ass.
530
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,280
I think I should go.
531
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,520
Why didn't you tell me that you were bi?
532
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:48,800
You didn't tell me the specifics of your sex life until this afternoon.
533
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,000
Frankly, I assumed you were, too.
534
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:55,000
Well, I'm not.
535
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,400
Well, this is my fault.
536
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,320
I broke rule number one.
537
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:05,200
Never cum where you eat.
538
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,120
Thank you for a lovely evening.
539
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:13,280
You're both incredible.
540
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:22,880
Well then, Christian.
541
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:24,400
Get out of my bed.
542
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:25,200
Excuse me?
543
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:27,200
I'm tired of all this 3-way bullshit.
544
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:28,480
I want my girlfriend back.
545
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:29,520
She's mine.
546
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:33,680
Kimber isn't a possession, Christian. She doesn't belong to you.
547
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:35,400
Yes, I do.
548
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,200
You're beautiful,
549
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:44,400
and you're really amazing, Kit,
550
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:48,880
but I agreed to let you join us because I thought it would help make Christian feel better.
551
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:55,520
Now he does. I like you, but I love him.
552
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:05,520
I had higher expectations of you, Christian,
553
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:09,200
but the truth is, you're nothing more than a domesticated house cat
554
00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:11,680
with an expensive haircut and no sense of adventure.
555
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:15,280
Domesticated or not, there's no pussy for you here.
556
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:18,200
Go find one someplace else.
557
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:26,200
You'll never feel truly safe with him, Kimber.
558
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,320
Matt will be at my house at 7:00.
559
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:57,680
I'll get takeout.
560
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,080
Don't order for me. I won't be there.
561
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:02,400
This is important, Christian.
562
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:04,080
Which is why he needs his parents there.
563
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:05,680
His real parents.
564
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:10,080
What happened to Mr. Hands-on dad?
565
00:39:16,720 --> 00:39:18,320
Threes don't work.
566
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:22,480
Some old customs are still around for good reason.
567
00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:26,800
One wife, one husband, two parents.
568
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,920
It would help us to have you there.
569
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:33,120
He respects your opinion more than any of ours right now.
570
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,320
I've got an 8:30 lift with Quentin.
571
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:42,080
Make sure you don't drop the scalpel.
572
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:46,400
Our new partner... plays for both teams.
573
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:47,400
- You're joking.
- Mm-hmm.
574
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:48,400
How do you know?
575
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:50,080
He made a pass at me last night.
576
00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:52,400
You sure it was a pass?
577
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:54,000
Could you have misconstrued something?
578
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:57,680
I've never had a buddy try to snake his pinkie up my ass just for shits and giggles.
579
00:39:57,720 --> 00:40:00,880
I knew there was something weird about the way he was looking at me at that party.
580
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:04,200
Makes sense. I think he's got a little man-crush on you.
581
00:40:04,240 --> 00:40:06,320
On me?! You're the one he tried to screw.
582
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,000
Somebody tell a good joke?
583
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:16,000
No, just something I saw in the paper this morning.
584
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:20,000
Oh. It must have been a pretty funny article.
585
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:22,080
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
586
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:25,400
Uh, hey...
587
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:31,800
did either of you read the article last week about
588
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:37,400
the Ohio state supreme court ruling that upheld a $6 million award
589
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:41,600
to a bisexual woman who accused the law offices where she was clerking
590
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:44,880
of turning her sexual practices into water cooler gossip?
591
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,320
It was a landmark case.
592
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:53,120
$6 million.
593
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,920
That sets a motherlode of a precedent, eh?
594
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:57,920
Basically shut the firm down.
595
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:03,400
See you in surgery.
596
00:41:18,720 --> 00:41:20,720
Oh, god.
597
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:28,320
Matt, where have you been? You were supposed to be here 2 hours ago.
598
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:30,480
Oh, I must have lost track of time.
599
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:31,920
Mattie, this is serious.
600
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:34,880
Oh, I'm sure it is, man, but, uh, my face is killing me,
601
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:38,080
so maybe we can get together at the dysfunctional family Christmas party, huh?
602
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:39,120
That's enough, Matt.
603
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:42,200
Have you been drinking again?
604
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:45,400
Yeah, just a couple of beers.
605
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:47,200
Who are you?
606
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:50,600
I don't even recognize you anymore.
607
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:55,120
That's funny because you all look so familiar to me.
608
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:59,120
Everything out of your mouth is some kind of snide, smartass comment.
609
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:00,880
What's happened to you?
610
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:04,200
Well, uh, let's see.
611
00:42:04,240 --> 00:42:09,920
In the past couple of months, I found out that my dad's best friend is my real dad,
612
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:14,080
my old dad beat the crap out of my mom and threw her out of the house,
613
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:19,120
my parents ruined my relationship with the only woman I've ever loved
614
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:23,200
and then let it slip that not only was she a man,
615
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:25,800
but that one of them slept with her.
616
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,600
Is that enough?
617
00:42:28,720 --> 00:42:29,920
Or should I go on?
618
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:33,120
We understand, Matt, and that's why we've called this meeting
619
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:36,480
to talk through your feelings about everything that's happened.
620
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:40,400
We know we screwed the pooch. This is our chance to make it right.
621
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:42,400
To be a family again.
622
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:46,320
You want a family? You find someone sick enough to want one with you.
623
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:49,120
Listen, you think you're a man?
624
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:50,800
You want to hear it like a man?
625
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:53,680
Your mother and I sacrificed everything for you.
626
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:56,320
She buried her dreams and I sold my soul to that business
627
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,600
so that we could provide you with the things we didn't have.
628
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:00,600
Don't tell me we've turned you into this!
629
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:04,600
We've given our lives for this family! You don't have the right to walk out on it!
630
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:09,400
Watch me.
631
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:14,880
Mattie, please-- oh, God!
632
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:19,520
No!
633
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,080
You wouldn't dare mess up your perfect work.
634
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:23,600
I already have.
635
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:25,120
Oh!
636
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:28,880
Oh, my god!
637
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:30,480
Oh, my god!
638
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:32,800
Aah!49970
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