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1
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:20,187
Joey.
Still studying.
2
00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:21,730
How come you don't
Want to get with me?
3
00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:24,107
What are you
Going on about?
4
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,025
Since I've been back,
Nothing. nada.
5
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:28,195
A drought
Of epic proportions.
6
00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:30,029
Is there a hygiene issue
I'm not aware of?
7
00:00:32,031 --> 00:00:34,117
Audrey?
Hi, bunny!
8
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,078
Oh, my god!
Hi!
9
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,999
Ohh, you flunked out
Of school. How sad.
10
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,124
Death of a dream
And all that.
11
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,751
So, guess who was
On my plane?
12
00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,043
Audrey, you're back
A day early.
13
00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:45,004
Yeah, I got early parole
For good behavior.
14
00:00:45,044 --> 00:00:46,839
Well, actually,
The rumor has it
15
00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:48,883
That courtney love was
Checking in, and they
Needed the extra room.
16
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:50,342
So, guess who was
On my flight.
17
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,803
Pilots, stewardesses,
And assorted passengers?
18
00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:54,388
Well, that's funny,
But no.
19
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:57,975
I'm only talking about
The sexiest man
In all of america.
20
00:00:58,017 --> 00:01:00,895
Audrey, don't you want
To maybe relax, get settled?
21
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,103
Oh, come on. No one's
Ever too busy for
22
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,355
A quick game of "Guess
Who was on my plane."
23
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:04,565
Trust me, this one's
Really good.
24
00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:06,567
Ok, fine. Uh, uh, uh...
25
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:08,318
Brad pitt?
26
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:09,570
Will you work with me,
Potter?
27
00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:10,612
That is so obvious.
28
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,113
No, this guy
Is way hotter.
29
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:13,615
I'm talking like
The thinking girl's
Dream.
30
00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:15,242
Oh, ian ziering?
31
00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:21,415
Duh. Dr. Drew.
32
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:23,333
Impressive.
33
00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:25,419
I would have thought he was
A little too, uh...
34
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:26,962
Clinical for your tastes.
35
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:28,380
It's kind of
A rehab thing.
36
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:29,631
You start
To crave men based on
37
00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:31,090
Who'd look cutest
In a white lab coat.
38
00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:32,968
Who's dr. Drew?
Are you serious?
39
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,262
You know. Dr. Drew
And adam carolla?
40
00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:37,806
Of loveline fame?
41
00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:39,516
Popular radio call-in
Show where they espouse
42
00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:42,143
Advice to pathetic
Losers with massive
Sexual hang-ups.
43
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,353
He used to be on mtv.
44
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,607
Uhh. Jeez louise.
45
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:48,025
Looks like
Mr. Goodwrench
Has been too busy
46
00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:49,401
Throwing his back
Into his living
47
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,986
To soak up a little
Pop culture.
48
00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:53,030
What's mtv?
49
00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,783
Kidding.
50
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:58,994
So anyway,
What are the odds?
51
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:01,872
Well, pretty good,
Considering they're going
To be at boston bay tomorrow.
52
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:04,750
Wh-wh-what?
53
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,167
Where the hell
Have I been?
54
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:07,836
Oh, right.
I've been in rehab.
55
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:10,547
Yeah, they're putting on
Some fund raiser for
The counseling center,
56
00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:11,590
And jen gets to play host.
57
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,258
Oh, my god.
This is perfect.
58
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,969
She can totally
Intro me to the doc.
59
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,929
I knew it was destiny.
I gotta pee.
60
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:30,734
She's baaaaaack.
61
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:35,382
Is it too much to ask
That we invest in some
Cordless phones around here?
62
00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,427
You excited about
The hosting gig tonight?
63
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,763
Mm-hmm.
Yeah?
64
00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:44,265
Who knows? You could
Become the next
Ryan seacrest.
65
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,309
You could borrow
One of his man-blouses.
66
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:51,439
Something wrong?
You seem a little tense.
67
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,819
No, I'm really not.
I'm fine.
68
00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:58,864
Come here.
69
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,782
Sit down.
No, that's ok.
70
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:03,243
Come on, come on,
Come on, come on.
71
00:04:05,204 --> 00:04:07,706
There, doesn't that
Feel better?
72
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:08,832
So I was thinking,
73
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,751
After tonight's soiree,
74
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:13,587
You and I can slip
Back to my place for
A little nightcapper?
75
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:16,673
You, me,
Some cheap champagne,
A little fleetwood mac.
76
00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:18,759
I can't.
77
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,010
Ok, no fleetwood mac.
78
00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:23,097
No, um...
79
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,223
It's not that.
80
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,474
I mean, I just...
I can't. I can't.
81
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:27,517
Why not?
82
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,021
I have to help grams.
83
00:04:31,063 --> 00:04:33,232
I can help grams.
Let me come.
84
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:36,526
I don't think that's
A very good idea.
85
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,195
Why not?
86
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,282
Because, c.J.,
I'm breaking up with you.
I'll see you tonight.
87
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,288
Joey?
88
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,167
Yes, eddie?
89
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:55,087
Um, we never got
A chance to finish
Our conversation.
90
00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:56,755
And what conversation
Was that?
91
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,715
About how you're
Repulsed by me.
92
00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:00,341
I am not repulsed
By you.
93
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,760
Then why won't
You get with me?
94
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,637
Would you stop saying
"Get with me?"
95
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:04,846
It's creeping me out.
96
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:06,389
Sorry.
97
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:07,849
And I...
98
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:09,517
I don't want
To talk about that.
99
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,936
What?
100
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,688
You know.
101
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,274
What, sex? You don't
Want to talk about sex?
102
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,399
No!
Why?
103
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,947
I don't know. I just...
104
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,115
I don't.
105
00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:25,492
Oh, I get it.
I understand.
106
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,202
I repulse you.
107
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,583
You don't repulse me.
108
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:34,918
It's ok.
109
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,212
This happened to me before.
110
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:38,505
It has?
111
00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:40,007
No.
112
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,383
Eddie, you know what?
113
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:45,095
You don't get anywhere
Talking about sex.
114
00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:46,805
You just make me
Uncomfortable.
115
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:47,806
Clearly.
116
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,349
Oh, my sweet lord!
117
00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:52,936
Will the two of you
Just do it already
And be quiet?
118
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:55,438
I have to go.
I have a quiz.
119
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,691
Well, fine. Maybe we can
Not talk about this later.
120
00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,860
Gladly.
121
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:08,785
Do you want
To make out?
122
00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:11,746
No.
123
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,709
Good.
124
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,418
That was your
Test, buddy.
125
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,461
You break
Her heart again,
126
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,172
And I'm going
To kill you.
You got it?
127
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:22,381
Yeah.
128
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:33,977
Have a good one.
129
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,021
Hi.
130
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:39,149
So, is there, like,
Assigned seats,
Or how does this work?
131
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:41,526
No, it's general admission.
First come, first served.
132
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:44,654
Great. So if I wanted
To sit by someone
Specific,
133
00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:46,323
The best way would
Just be to ask him?
134
00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:47,991
Uh, yeah.
135
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:51,703
So...You going
With anybody?
136
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,997
Me?
137
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,916
Yeah. Is that a problem?
138
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:59,418
Oh, well...Uh, no...
139
00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:02,421
Normally, I wouldn't mind,
But, uh...
140
00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:05,092
You'd have to ask
My boyfriend jack.
141
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,593
You rang?
142
00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:08,803
Uh, yeah. I thought
I'd introduce you to this guy
143
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,389
Who just had the good taste
To hit on me.
144
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,765
Uh, jack, this is...
145
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:12,640
Uh, fred.
Fred.
146
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:13,892
Hi.
147
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,560
Sorry about that.
148
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,478
Not a problem.
It's cool.
149
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:20,690
I mean, you know,
It's not cool,
Of course.
150
00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:22,567
Although I do like
To pimp him out
From time to time.
151
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,485
Gotcha.
152
00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:28,240
It was nice meeting you.
153
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:31,450
You, too.
154
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,455
Hi.
155
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:37,874
He seemed nice.
156
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,460
Yeah.
157
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,631
Why am I doing this?
158
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:45,632
Eating cheese?
159
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:46,758
No, no, this.
160
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,718
I'm not--I'm not
Cut out for this.
161
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,762
What if nobody talks?
162
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,764
I mean, at least
At the helpline
I can hang up on them.
163
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,266
But what if nobody
Asks any questions?
164
00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:55,683
What am I going to do?
165
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,061
Run and hide and curl up
In a fetal position
166
00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,229
Hoping nobody finds you?
167
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:00,772
I need a ringer.
168
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:01,773
A what?
169
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,691
A ringer--
170
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,402
Somebody to ask
Pre-planned questions
171
00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:06,861
During uncomfortable
Moments of silence.
172
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,363
Well, don't look at me.
173
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,698
I suffer from
Glossophobia.
174
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,410
It's a fear
Of public speaking.
175
00:08:13,452 --> 00:08:15,495
So my duties tonight
176
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,080
Will be strictly limited
To ticket taking,
177
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:18,790
Which I will now go do.
178
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,500
Good luck.
Thanks.
179
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,756
Hi.
180
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:30,510
So...
181
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:35,182
What are you doing here?
182
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:38,601
I'm helping you host
The event, remember?
183
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:41,396
Yeah.
184
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:43,815
Right.
185
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,067
Um, about what
Happened earlier--
186
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:48,403
You know what? I can't really
Talk about that right now.
187
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:50,738
I'm sorry. I...
188
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:51,990
I've got so many
Notes to go over,
189
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,741
And...Cold cuts,
190
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,410
I have these really
Wonderful cold cuts
191
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,204
That I don't want
To go to waste.
192
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,749
Ok. Fair enough. Yeah.
I'll just go get ready.
193
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,502
Good.
194
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,420
Oh, my god!
Where is he?
195
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:06,545
Who?
196
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:10,133
Who? Who? Oh, jen, jen.
Sweet, sweet, jen.
197
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,386
Such an amusing facade,
But it's of no use.
You can't keep us apart.
198
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,179
It's destiny,
I tell you. Destiny.
199
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,723
Jen, he was
On my plane.
200
00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:19,684
Ladies, put
The claws back.
No need to fight.
201
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:23,522
Plenty of room on
The carolla coaster
For everyone.
202
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,107
I'm afraid I won't meet
The minimum-height requirement.
203
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:26,941
It's nice to meet you.
204
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,568
I got to go.
205
00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,530
Well, what about you?
206
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,780
You want
To hop on board?
207
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,949
I wasn't talking
About you, doofus.
208
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,493
I'm kind of looking
For dr. Drew.
209
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:37,577
Pinsky?
210
00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:39,704
Yes, yes!
Do you know where he is?
211
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,956
That geezer's probably
Out casket shopping.
212
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,750
He's old.
He's an old man.
213
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:46,002
He's old enough to be
Your grandfather.
214
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:48,880
Whereas I,
I'm just old enough
To be your daddy.
215
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,883
And plus,
The guy's a bore.
He's an amazing bore.
216
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:55,678
He never stops talking
About gonorrhea
And hepatitis g.
217
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:56,721
Believe me, I know.
218
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,765
I have to share a hotel
Room with the guy.
219
00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:00,808
Cheap bastards.
220
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,810
Oh, my god.
221
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,187
You've shared
A room with him?
222
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:06,523
Tell me something.
223
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:09,984
Have you seen him naked?
224
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:13,405
Yes. Yes, I have.
225
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:41,933
I hate to tell you this,
226
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:42,976
But in about 2 minutes,
227
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,144
There's going to be a riot
For that seat.
228
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,437
Hey.
Hey.
229
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:47,855
Jack, right?
Yeah. Yeah.
230
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:50,775
Fred.
So...Where's the boyfriend?
231
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,111
Well, that would be
The question of
The hour.
232
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:56,239
Clearly not where
He's supposed to be.
233
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:57,365
But it is taken, right?
234
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,327
The seat?
235
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:05,999
Uh...Yeah, you know,
I was, um...
236
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,209
What the hell.
237
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:09,669
It's all yours.
238
00:11:27,686 --> 00:11:30,023
Just so you know,
It's over.
239
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,399
What is?
The trust.
240
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,691
Are we still talking--
241
00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:35,778
Done. Gone. finito.
Deader than disco.
242
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,947
You allowed me to think
That I was good at it.
243
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:38,948
Good at what?
244
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,534
The sweet,
Tender lovemaking
245
00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:42,410
That couples tend
To engage in upon day's end.
246
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,078
Look, you are
Good at it, ok?
247
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,955
Now could we please
Stop talking about this?
248
00:11:45,997 --> 00:11:47,790
No. No, we can't.
249
00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:49,334
And I thought the whole point
Of this evening
250
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,919
Was for people to get together
And talk about their problems.
251
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,129
We're freaks,
But we're not those
Kinds of freaks.
252
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,214
Sit!
253
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:55,465
Lying on the ground,
254
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:56,591
His tongue is just
Hanging out of his mouth,
255
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:57,676
Vultures flying
Over his head.
256
00:11:57,716 --> 00:11:59,219
And he goes to the farmer,
He goes, "Shh.
257
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,928
They're just about
To land."
258
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,306
Oh, man.
You're definitely going
To get punched for that.
259
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,391
I could think
Of worse things.
260
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,142
Like not saving
Your boyfriend a seat?
261
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:10,313
David, hey.
You remember, um...
262
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,232
I remember.
It's nice to see you again.
263
00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:13,816
I thought we said
The right side of the stage.
264
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:16,695
We did.
265
00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,363
We, uh...
266
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,822
See, I meant
From the front.
267
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:22,492
From the front,
It's the right,
268
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:23,577
But if you're coming
From the back,
269
00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:24,578
I could see how
You could have...
270
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:30,875
Uh...
271
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,126
You know...
272
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:33,127
I'm--I'm sorry.
273
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:34,212
It's my fault.
I'll move.
274
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,380
Good idea.
275
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:42,262
They are both the hosts
Of the wildly popular
Radio show loveline.
276
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,555
I'd like to go ahead
And take this time
277
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,014
To introduce our
Esteemed guests
278
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:47,058
Dr. Drew
And adam corolla.
279
00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:56,192
Um, ok. Well, since
Our time here is limited,
280
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:58,319
And I'm pretty sure
That everybody knows
How this works.
281
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:01,114
With no further ado...
282
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:02,781
Who has the first question?
283
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,799
Ok, not everyone at once.
284
00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:42,196
Oh, jen.
285
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,782
Jen, pick me.
286
00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:45,158
Lindley!
287
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,618
Uh, anybody.
288
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:49,788
Anybody.
289
00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:54,709
Bueller?
290
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,504
Come on. You people
Are in college.
291
00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:59,088
Your crabs have gonorrhea.
292
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,632
Where's the questions?
293
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:01,716
I'd actually--
I'd actually like
294
00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:05,136
To pose a question,
If I may?
295
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,054
Actually, c.J.,
296
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,390
I think it's your job
To field the questions,
Not ask them.
297
00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:10,933
You field, they ask.
298
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:13,269
Field. Ask. Field. Ask.
You see how it works?
299
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:15,229
That's ok, jennifer.
We're not exactly
Worried about form here.
300
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,732
So go on, c.J.,
Ask your question.
301
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:20,193
Uh, ok. Well,
There's this, uh...
302
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:23,738
Girl that I have--
Or had a relationship with.
303
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,239
She was a sex buddy?
304
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,534
No, she, uh...
305
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,744
She was a girlfriend,
Actually, and we were
Together for several months
306
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:30,995
Up until this morning,
307
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,832
When she dumped me like
A sack of rotten trash.
308
00:14:33,872 --> 00:14:35,750
No explanation,
No warning, no nothing.
309
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:36,917
Were there any
Warning signs?
310
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,670
Any problems in
The relationship?
311
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:40,755
No, none.
312
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:41,964
Well...
313
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:44,384
I did sleep with
One of her friends.
314
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:47,721
But just one, right?
315
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:49,639
Women don't--they don't mind
That kind of stuff.
316
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:50,849
Can't be that.
317
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,726
But she knew about it
318
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:53,852
And it was before
We got together,
319
00:14:53,892 --> 00:14:55,353
So that doesn't
Really count, right?
320
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:58,147
Have you simply
Tried asking for
An explanation?
321
00:14:58,189 --> 00:14:59,106
That's the thing.
322
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,734
Every time I try
To talk to her,
323
00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:02,694
She treats me like
I'm father damien.
324
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:07,073
He was a leper.
325
00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:08,282
Oh, sure.
326
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:10,535
The famous leper,
Father damien.
327
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,454
Drew, you wrote your thesis
On father damien, did you not?
328
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:15,206
All right. Listen,
329
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,875
I say run.
330
00:15:16,915 --> 00:15:19,085
I mean, this chick's
A head case.
331
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:20,879
She's going to take
You down, I promise.
332
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,505
Thank you, adam,
For that astute insight,
333
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:24,424
But if you don't
Mind me saying so,
334
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:27,134
I think that c.J.'s problems
Here are really subordinate
335
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,969
To those of the many
Members of this audience
336
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,513
Who have actually paid
Good money to listen
337
00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:32,306
To your vastly
Underqualified advice.
338
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:36,352
You're so lucky I don't know
What "Subordinate" means, honey.
339
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:40,231
So I guess we should probably
Just break up then, huh?
340
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,776
Would you be quiet?
341
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:43,735
Well, I need to know
What's going on here!
342
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:46,404
Shut up.
343
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,948
Don't tell me to shut up
In front of all these people.
344
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,535
What I don't understand is
345
00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:54,704
Why is so hard for you
To talk about sex?!
346
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,331
Whoa.
What have we here?
347
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:59,793
We got to hear
More about this.
348
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,586
We got a wiener
In the crowd here, drew.
349
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:02,587
Let's get a mike
Over to these guys.
350
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,589
This will make
A good question.
351
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:05,590
Uh, no,
That's ok.
352
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:06,716
There's
No problem.
353
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:08,802
Nope. Nope.
No problem at all.
354
00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:11,220
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, there's a problem,
355
00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:13,807
Or you wouldn't have been
Screaming like a girl
10 seconds ago.
356
00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:15,642
We need to hear this problem.
What is it?
357
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:17,852
No, it's really--
It's ok.
358
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,646
It's not--it's not
That bad, actually.
359
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:20,605
Yeah, he likes
It that way.
360
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,189
He prefers it,
Actually.
361
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,441
I'm sorry. I think
I missed something.
362
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,567
What's your name?
363
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,570
Joey.
364
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:29,155
I'm eddie.
But like I said,
365
00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:30,615
We have
No problem.
366
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:31,866
Oh, if you say so.
367
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,661
But you can't help
But wonder, adam,
368
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:36,913
Should a couple that's
Not even mature enough
To talk about sex
369
00:16:36,955 --> 00:16:38,289
Be having sex?
Yeah.
370
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,291
Give me this. That's what
I'm saying, dr. Drew.
371
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,668
It's exactly
What I'm saying.
372
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:43,210
Well, not exactly
What I'm saying.
373
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:44,838
I mean, she is a little,
Like, uptight about
The whole thing.
374
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:46,255
I am not.
Yes, you are.
375
00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:47,548
Listen, listen.
376
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:51,135
This long-distance relationship
Is breaking my heart.
377
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,846
Let's get you two
Up on stage
378
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:54,639
Where we can thump you
Like melons.
379
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:57,183
What do you guys say?
380
00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:06,943
Thank you.
381
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,515
Jen!
382
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:40,351
Jen! I really have one.
383
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:41,519
Jen!
384
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:54,782
Just so you know,
385
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:56,158
I'm going to kill you
Afterwards.
386
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,785
Ok.
387
00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:58,995
Now why don't
You two start
388
00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:00,329
By telling us about
This relationship?
389
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,752
Well...I'll start.
390
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,378
It's all very simple,
Actually.
391
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,171
Today, I realized
That the girl
392
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,049
That I have been
Opening my life
393
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,384
And baring my--
My naked soul to
394
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,511
For the past 6 months
Is a phony.
395
00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:16,512
6 months.
Is that how long
396
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:17,513
This thing's been
Going on?
397
00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:20,808
Well, it's hard
To tell exactly.
398
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,852
I mean,
We met in the fall,
399
00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:24,020
But we really didn't
Like each other--
400
00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:25,688
Oh, hey, stop.
401
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,147
Ok, look, I had
No beef with her,
402
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,609
But she--she
Obviously...
403
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:31,110
You know,
Was in love with me...
404
00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:33,738
In her own emotionally
Unstable way.
405
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,489
Emotionally unstable?
406
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:36,490
I'm emotionally unstable?
407
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:37,700
Yes, look in
The mirror, joey.
408
00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:40,119
Who packed up and left
With no forwarding address
409
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,955
At the first sign that
This thing was getting serious?
410
00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:43,330
Oh, I came back,
Didn't I?
411
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,083
No, not willingly.
I'm sitting here.
412
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,418
I had to come
Looking for you, didn't I?
413
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:51,089
At a significant loss
To my personal dignity,
Thank you very much.
414
00:18:51,129 --> 00:18:52,840
And then, to celebrate...
415
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:53,841
He left again.
416
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:54,842
And throughout
All this,
417
00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:56,094
You kept having sex?
418
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,219
Oh, yeah.
419
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:58,805
No wonder
She's screwed up.
420
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:01,223
Thank you.
Wait a second--
421
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:03,977
Listen, I don't like
The cut of your jib, son.
422
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:05,937
I mean, you have
Sex with her,
423
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:07,354
Then you dump her.
424
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:10,566
Then you try to get
Her trust back,
425
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:12,819
Except for you
Abandon her again.
426
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:14,528
So you've
Abandoned her twice,
427
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:19,450
And now you're
Perplexed as to why
She won't trust you
428
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,328
When you've
Dumped her 2 times?
429
00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:23,871
Are you high, son?
430
00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:26,415
I mean, no wonder
She's cut you off.
431
00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:27,875
Drew, if you treated me
This way,
432
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:29,752
I'd cut you off...
In a heartbeat.
433
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,629
That's why I treat you
The right way.
That's right.
434
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,422
Joey, is this
Abandonment a big
Issue for you?
435
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,845
No.
436
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:39,762
Are you on
Any medication?
437
00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:40,763
No!
438
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:42,348
Is you dad around?
439
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:43,850
Is he a big figure
In your life?
440
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:45,476
Is anything
Going on with him?
441
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,605
You know what?
Dr. Drew,
442
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,649
I thank you
For everything,
443
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,233
But I--I think
I've had enough,
444
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:54,861
And I'm going to head
Back to my seat now.
445
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:56,029
Not so fast.
Listen, joey,
446
00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:57,237
Nothing to be
Ashamed of.
447
00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:59,532
Common problems,
All right?
448
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,408
Tough to talk about.
449
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,077
Jennifer, I'm sure
People call the helpline
450
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:04,203
All the time with
Things like this.
451
00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:06,497
Oh, yeah.
Constantly.
452
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,125
There's really nothing
To be embarrassed about.
453
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:11,961
You're very normal
In your abnormality.
454
00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:17,050
Jen, perhaps there's
Someone else in
The audience
455
00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:18,759
That would like
To ask a question.
456
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:23,181
Oh, yes, yes,
With the raised hand.
457
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,431
Who is that?
458
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,017
Uh...
459
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:27,393
My name's david,
And I need to know
460
00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:28,561
What the proper
Response might be
461
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:30,270
When you find your
Boyfriend openly
Flirting
462
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:31,480
With some other guy
Right in front of you?
463
00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:33,066
I wasn't flirting.
464
00:20:33,107 --> 00:20:38,487
Since when is having
An idle chat considered
Flirting, my friend?
465
00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:41,032
We have a couple of dates,
He thinks he owns me, drew.
466
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,616
Adam wants to be
Your boyfriend.
467
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:44,326
He longs to be gay.
468
00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:46,829
David, uh,
Was this a monogamous
Relationship?
469
00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:49,082
Yeah. I thought it was.
470
00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,290
I see. So you're
Kind of wondering
471
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:51,918
Whether it actually
Is monogamous.
472
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,336
Well, obviously,
You guys need to talk
About this.
473
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:56,422
Um, you know,
One possibility is
474
00:20:56,463 --> 00:20:58,049
That he's acting out
Right in front of you,
475
00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,592
Because he's trying
To give you a message,
476
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,886
And he just doesn't
Have any other way
To tell you.
477
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,140
Or maybe he's just
One of those people
478
00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:08,017
Who's really super-nice
To everybody
479
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:09,852
So it seems like
He's flirting,
480
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:10,937
But actually, he's not,
481
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,563
'cause nobody's that stupid.
482
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:15,900
So, my advice on this would
Just be forgive and forget.
483
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,651
Are you high, missy?
484
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:18,861
You got to dump this guy,
485
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:20,863
And I'm not saying that
Because he's a gay.
486
00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:23,199
Um...Ok,
487
00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:24,784
Why don't we go
To mandy behind the screen?
488
00:21:26,035 --> 00:21:27,494
Mandy,
What's your question?
489
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:28,621
Mandy?
490
00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:30,539
Oh. Hi. Sorry, no.
491
00:21:30,581 --> 00:21:32,499
Actually,
My name is audrey,
492
00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:36,837
And my question
Is specifically
For dr. Drew.
493
00:21:36,879 --> 00:21:39,506
Um, I'm about
5'7".
494
00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:42,468
I've got blond hair,
Blue eyes, great rack.
495
00:21:42,509 --> 00:21:44,971
Audrey, question.
Find it.
496
00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:48,266
Oh, right.
Ok. Well, um...
497
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:50,059
Several months ago,
498
00:21:50,101 --> 00:21:52,561
I realized that I had
A serious problem
With alcohol.
499
00:21:52,603 --> 00:21:55,606
I had all these
Negative feelings
About my life,
500
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:59,819
And I was using alcohol
As my escape.
501
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:01,279
And in the process,
502
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,073
I hurt a lot of people
That were very
Close to me.
503
00:22:04,115 --> 00:22:07,243
And if it hadn't
Been for those very
Same people,
504
00:22:07,285 --> 00:22:08,786
I probably would not
Have gotten
505
00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:11,205
The professional help
That I needed.
506
00:22:11,247 --> 00:22:13,373
So after spending
Several weeks
507
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:16,002
In a rehab facility
In southern california,
508
00:22:16,043 --> 00:22:18,462
Um...
509
00:22:18,504 --> 00:22:21,257
I guess my question
To you is this,
Dr. Drew--
510
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:24,218
How would
You like to go back
To my dorm room
511
00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:26,053
And play a little game
I like to call
512
00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:27,888
"Dirty doctor
And naughty nurse?"
513
00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:33,811
Ok...
514
00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:34,937
Audrey, that was touching.
515
00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:39,942
Let's move on,
Shall we, to-
516
00:22:39,984 --> 00:22:41,443
You know, we really
Haven't had a chance
517
00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:43,154
To get a woman's
Perspective on
Some of these matters.
518
00:22:43,196 --> 00:22:45,239
Uh, tell me, jennifer,
519
00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:48,034
Getting back
To my problem,
520
00:22:48,075 --> 00:22:49,160
Why do you think
This girl decided
521
00:22:49,202 --> 00:22:50,953
To rip my heart out
Without any explanation?
522
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,875
Well, if you ask me, c.J.,
523
00:22:55,916 --> 00:22:58,627
I think the time
For your problem
Has come and gone.
524
00:22:58,669 --> 00:23:01,839
Now, since we have with us here
The experts onstage
525
00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:03,757
Who are here to answer
People's questions--
526
00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:06,052
Oh, experts, huh?
527
00:23:06,093 --> 00:23:08,721
A minute ago, I was hack,
Now I'm back to expert?
528
00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:09,805
That's nice.
529
00:23:09,847 --> 00:23:11,807
Actually, jennifer,
That's not a bad idea.
530
00:23:11,849 --> 00:23:13,559
You should answer
This question.
531
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,853
Everyone's here
To support the helpline.
532
00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:17,104
Why don't
You give them a sample
533
00:23:17,146 --> 00:23:18,396
Of what they can get
When they call in?
534
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:23,903
Ok. Well, if you ask me,
535
00:23:23,944 --> 00:23:26,446
Um...
536
00:23:26,488 --> 00:23:30,243
I think that the answer
To that question has many parts.
537
00:23:30,284 --> 00:23:34,621
One, it seems to me
That this girl
538
00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:36,374
Isn't really out to get you,
539
00:23:36,414 --> 00:23:39,001
That maybe, in fact,
She's just confused.
540
00:23:39,043 --> 00:23:40,627
To say the least.
541
00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:44,215
And 2, maybe she has a lot
On her plate at the moment,
542
00:23:44,257 --> 00:23:48,010
So she doesn't
Feel like she has
The time for a relationship.
543
00:23:49,595 --> 00:23:50,846
And 3?
544
00:23:50,888 --> 00:23:52,348
That's it.
545
00:23:52,390 --> 00:23:55,935
You can't just start
Stringing together
546
00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:59,980
A list of reasons
And stop at 2.
547
00:24:00,022 --> 00:24:04,902
Says who?
548
00:24:01,399 --> 00:24:04,902
Says--says me. Says drew.
549
00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:06,737
Says our parents.
550
00:24:06,779 --> 00:24:07,947
Remember your mom
Said that to me, drew?
551
00:24:07,988 --> 00:24:10,324
Ok, fine. You get 3.
552
00:24:10,366 --> 00:24:13,411
Listen, I just don't
Want a boyfriend at
This point in time, ok?
553
00:24:13,451 --> 00:24:14,536
Wait a minute.
554
00:24:14,578 --> 00:24:15,579
"I don't?"
555
00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:18,040
This is the head case
He's talking about.
556
00:24:18,082 --> 00:24:18,999
He's talking about her.
557
00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:20,458
No.
558
00:24:21,668 --> 00:24:22,669
Yes.
559
00:24:22,711 --> 00:24:24,422
I am the girl that
He is referring to,
560
00:24:24,462 --> 00:24:26,632
But no, I'm not
A head case.
561
00:24:26,673 --> 00:24:28,008
Oh, wow.
This is interesting.
562
00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:30,177
So, why did you
Dump this guy?
563
00:24:30,219 --> 00:24:32,554
Unless you don't feel
Comfortable talking
About these issues.
564
00:24:32,596 --> 00:24:36,100
No, it's just, um...
565
00:24:36,142 --> 00:24:39,061
He beats you, right?
I knew it.
566
00:24:39,103 --> 00:24:40,854
I could see it
In his eyes, drew.
567
00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:43,357
Seriously,
Is there something about
This guy you don't like?
568
00:24:43,399 --> 00:24:44,942
Or is it something
About him,
569
00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:45,985
Or something about
The relationship?
570
00:24:46,026 --> 00:24:48,988
No, no, I like him.
571
00:24:49,029 --> 00:24:51,282
I like him. What's--
What's not to like?
572
00:24:51,324 --> 00:24:52,325
He's perfect.
573
00:24:52,366 --> 00:24:54,827
He's the perfect
Living embodiment
574
00:24:54,868 --> 00:24:57,371
Of everything that
I've ever wanted in a boyfriend,
575
00:24:57,413 --> 00:24:59,415
But never thought
That I would actually find.
576
00:24:59,457 --> 00:25:02,668
You're kind, you're caring,
You're sensitive,
577
00:25:02,709 --> 00:25:04,544
You're not wigged out
By gay people.
578
00:25:04,586 --> 00:25:06,588
He is kind of cute.
579
00:25:06,630 --> 00:25:08,674
He's got a bit of
The spader working for him.
580
00:25:08,715 --> 00:25:11,260
If I were to start
A boy from scratch,
581
00:25:11,302 --> 00:25:13,679
This is what he would
End up as.
582
00:25:17,183 --> 00:25:18,309
All right then.
583
00:25:18,351 --> 00:25:20,894
So, why would
You sabotage this?
584
00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:22,520
Why would you take
Someone good,
585
00:25:22,562 --> 00:25:25,607
Someone you described
As wonderful, perfect,
586
00:25:25,649 --> 00:25:26,775
And just drive him away?
587
00:25:38,871 --> 00:25:40,289
Can we turn this back
To joey?
588
00:25:40,331 --> 00:25:41,207
She's more
Screwed up than me.
589
00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:42,624
Hey.
590
00:25:42,666 --> 00:25:44,626
Were either of you
Abused when you
Were kids?
591
00:25:44,668 --> 00:25:46,212
No.
592
00:25:46,253 --> 00:25:49,048
Joey's dad did some
Time in the big house.
593
00:25:49,089 --> 00:25:51,925
Maybe we could bring
Jack up here for
Some humiliation.
594
00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:54,178
No, no, no.
Do not let her change
The subject again, jen.
595
00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:56,138
I still intend to get
Some answers from
Sally albright--
596
00:25:56,180 --> 00:25:57,264
Hey, get
In line, pal.
597
00:25:57,306 --> 00:25:58,682
At least you still
Have a girlfriend.
598
00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:00,100
Jen, I really need
To know what kind of
Undergarments--
599
00:26:00,142 --> 00:26:01,810
When we get back to l.A.,
600
00:26:01,852 --> 00:26:04,813
I'm putting this knee
In my agent's groin.
601
00:26:04,855 --> 00:26:05,814
You know what?
It's over.
602
00:26:05,856 --> 00:26:07,858
I'm obviously not
Equipped to be here.
603
00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:10,152
So if you have questions
And you need answers,
604
00:26:10,194 --> 00:26:11,820
You should all
Call the helpline.
605
00:26:17,368 --> 00:26:18,660
Oh, my god.
606
00:26:18,702 --> 00:26:19,786
Jen, what was it like
To be that close to him?
607
00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:21,247
Did you get
To touch him?
What does he smell like?
608
00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:23,416
Audrey, how would
You like to see him
Up close and personal?
609
00:26:23,457 --> 00:26:24,624
Are you saying what
I think you're saying?
610
00:26:24,666 --> 00:26:26,919
Yes. Take over
The hosting duties.
611
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,504
Oh, I thought you
Wanted me to sing.
612
00:26:28,546 --> 00:26:30,297
Oh, well.
A gig's a gig.
Thanks.
613
00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:34,051
Ok, people,
614
00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:35,593
Since our lovely hostess
With the mostess jen lindley
615
00:26:35,635 --> 00:26:37,221
Picked now to have
A mental breakdown,
616
00:26:37,263 --> 00:26:38,889
I'll be your ricki lake
For the rest of the evening.
617
00:26:38,931 --> 00:26:40,640
Now, who's got
The next question?
618
00:26:40,682 --> 00:26:42,851
You! Up top!
Funny shaped head.
What do you got?
619
00:26:42,893 --> 00:26:45,687
Um, dr. Drew, is it true
That men only want sex
620
00:26:45,729 --> 00:26:48,023
And women only want
Relationships?
621
00:26:48,065 --> 00:26:49,607
I can tell you firsthand
That ain't true.
622
00:26:49,649 --> 00:26:51,527
I could tell you
Stories that would
Boggle
623
00:26:51,569 --> 00:26:53,320
Your pea-sized little
Brain. I once--
624
00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:55,781
Asked this girl
To do it while I was
Driving once,
625
00:26:55,822 --> 00:26:58,200
But she got all sketchy.
Said it wasn't safe--
626
00:26:58,242 --> 00:26:59,326
To engage in
High risk behavior.
627
00:26:59,368 --> 00:27:00,618
If you have,
You should see
628
00:27:00,660 --> 00:27:02,413
A doctor
Immediately,
And then ask--
629
00:27:02,455 --> 00:27:04,957
Is someone under 5 feet
Considered a midget?
630
00:27:04,998 --> 00:27:07,084
Official midget
Height is
631
00:27:07,126 --> 00:27:09,962
If I'm wearing
A pair of stilettos
And I can rest my--
632
00:27:10,003 --> 00:27:12,548
This laser's
Not a magic wand.
633
00:27:12,590 --> 00:27:13,966
Not a panacea, yeah.
634
00:27:14,007 --> 00:27:16,093
Yeah, people think
It's a--what did you
Say it was?
635
00:27:16,135 --> 00:27:18,762
Panacea. Cure-all.
636
00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:20,973
During sex, she likes
To listen to pop goes
The weasel.
637
00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:22,349
Is that--is that weird?
638
00:27:22,391 --> 00:27:23,559
That may be
Where the source
639
00:27:23,601 --> 00:27:24,851
Of your sexual
Dysfunction comes from.
640
00:27:24,893 --> 00:27:26,353
Is it ok
To use a vibrator?
641
00:27:26,395 --> 00:27:27,563
Great question.
But I think
642
00:27:27,605 --> 00:27:29,731
He has some feelings
About that. Adam?
643
00:27:29,773 --> 00:27:31,066
Well, I did a test
With drew once,
644
00:27:31,108 --> 00:27:33,611
Where I just covered
The left side
Of his face with--
645
00:27:33,651 --> 00:27:35,988
Whenever you have
An abnormality that way,
646
00:27:36,029 --> 00:27:39,908
It increases your chances
Of being an evil genius.
647
00:27:39,950 --> 00:27:40,993
Well, what I really
Want to know is--
648
00:27:41,034 --> 00:27:42,369
Are you taking
Any medication?
649
00:27:42,411 --> 00:27:44,246
Is it true I can't
Get pregnant
On a full moon?
650
00:27:44,288 --> 00:27:45,331
Are you on
Any medication?
651
00:27:45,372 --> 00:27:49,001
I've got this bad
Burning sensation.
652
00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:50,461
Are you on
Any medication?
653
00:27:50,503 --> 00:27:53,506
What is the average size
Of the male genitalia?
654
00:27:53,547 --> 00:27:55,841
Fluoxetine.
I mean really bad.
655
00:27:55,882 --> 00:27:57,468
Citalophram.
It's like I'm on fire.
656
00:27:57,510 --> 00:27:59,094
Fluvoxamine.
Sertraline.
657
00:27:59,136 --> 00:28:00,262
Proprion.
Buspirone.
658
00:28:00,304 --> 00:28:02,556
How small is small?
659
00:28:02,598 --> 00:28:04,183
Which is a genetic
Biological disease
660
00:28:04,224 --> 00:28:05,892
Which could lead
To consuming
Progressive amounts of--
661
00:28:05,934 --> 00:28:07,478
Whipped cream.
And make sure
662
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,438
You have plenty
Of it, or else!
663
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:10,981
The men that want
Their women to look
664
00:28:11,023 --> 00:28:12,399
Like little boys
That cause them--
665
00:28:12,441 --> 00:28:14,109
Depression and anxiety,
666
00:28:14,151 --> 00:28:15,819
Which can have
Both psychological
667
00:28:15,861 --> 00:28:17,904
And biological
Elements to it,
And hopefully--
668
00:28:17,946 --> 00:28:19,823
That answers
Your question.
669
00:28:19,865 --> 00:28:21,908
Ok, people, that's
All the time we have
For this evening.
670
00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:24,578
Remember something--
If you find yourself
Alone and depressed
671
00:28:24,620 --> 00:28:26,497
In a room
Sitting under a bare bulb
672
00:28:26,539 --> 00:28:28,040
If a pile of your own sick,
673
00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:30,000
Please don't call me,
Call the helpline.
674
00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:31,918
Have a great evening.
675
00:28:37,299 --> 00:28:39,759
So, what would you say
676
00:28:39,801 --> 00:28:42,429
To you, me, a couple of
Non-alcoholic beers,
677
00:28:42,471 --> 00:28:44,557
And a shiny
New thermometer?
678
00:28:44,598 --> 00:28:47,893
Baby, you're
Reading my mind.
679
00:28:47,934 --> 00:28:49,811
Ugh!
680
00:29:05,869 --> 00:29:07,496
What exactly are we
Doing back here?
681
00:29:07,538 --> 00:29:08,997
We're looking
For audrey.
682
00:29:09,039 --> 00:29:10,999
Hello. We drove
Her here.
683
00:29:11,041 --> 00:29:13,877
Then we get home
And put this horrid
Night behind us.
684
00:29:13,919 --> 00:29:15,212
Yeah, but we
Haven't solved
Our little problem.
685
00:29:15,254 --> 00:29:16,463
Eddie!
686
00:29:16,505 --> 00:29:18,090
Good god, son!
687
00:29:18,131 --> 00:29:19,841
Are you still
Harping on that?
688
00:29:19,883 --> 00:29:21,385
Why don't you
Give the girl a break?
689
00:29:21,427 --> 00:29:23,470
Have you taken a look
At her lately?
690
00:29:23,512 --> 00:29:24,971
You're lucky
A chick that hot
691
00:29:25,013 --> 00:29:27,433
Let's you get naked
In the same building
She's in.
692
00:29:27,474 --> 00:29:29,768
You gotta move on.
How old are you?
693
00:29:29,809 --> 00:29:31,019
15, 16?
694
00:29:31,061 --> 00:29:33,813
I'm 25.
695
00:29:33,855 --> 00:29:37,693
25. You know
What I was doing
When I was 25?
696
00:29:37,735 --> 00:29:40,613
No, but I'm sure
You're gonna
Tell me.
697
00:29:40,654 --> 00:29:41,821
That's right.
I'm gonna tell you.
698
00:29:41,863 --> 00:29:43,574
When I was 25,
I only dreamt
699
00:29:43,616 --> 00:29:45,117
Of getting
With chicks this hot.
700
00:29:45,158 --> 00:29:48,328
I was in
My parents' basement
Looking at my raft box.
701
00:29:48,370 --> 00:29:50,789
Had a picture
Of a gal on it.
702
00:29:50,830 --> 00:29:53,125
She was wearing a bikini
And floating on a raft,
703
00:29:53,166 --> 00:29:56,336
And I just stared
At that thing
Until I was cross-eyed.
704
00:29:56,378 --> 00:30:00,424
I miss that raft box.
705
00:30:00,466 --> 00:30:01,925
That's...Weird.
706
00:30:01,967 --> 00:30:04,052
Yeah, you're damn right
It's weird.
707
00:30:04,094 --> 00:30:05,679
And that's my point.
708
00:30:05,721 --> 00:30:07,556
I'm tired of you
College kids complaining
709
00:30:07,598 --> 00:30:09,099
And bellyaching
All the time.
710
00:30:09,141 --> 00:30:10,392
When I was in college,
711
00:30:10,434 --> 00:30:12,227
We didn't have chicks
That dressed like this.
712
00:30:12,269 --> 00:30:15,147
With their belly tees,
And their hip huggers,
713
00:30:15,188 --> 00:30:16,898
And their thongs
Hanging out the back.
714
00:30:16,940 --> 00:30:20,569
No, no,
We had it tough.
715
00:30:20,611 --> 00:30:21,695
Let me ask you
A question.
716
00:30:21,737 --> 00:30:23,989
You'd be with this guy
If you thought
717
00:30:24,030 --> 00:30:25,907
You could
Trust him, right?
718
00:30:35,083 --> 00:30:37,043
Yeah.
719
00:30:37,085 --> 00:30:39,379
There you go, sport.
All you gotta do
Is gain her trust
720
00:30:39,421 --> 00:30:41,423
And you're in like
Flint, all right?
721
00:30:41,465 --> 00:30:44,510
All right. Well,
My work is done here.
722
00:30:44,551 --> 00:30:46,845
I'm gonna
Get some cheese.
723
00:30:49,807 --> 00:30:51,433
So, is that true?
You don't trust me?
724
00:30:51,475 --> 00:30:53,602
Well, can you blame me?
725
00:30:55,061 --> 00:30:57,105
No.
726
00:30:57,147 --> 00:30:59,817
Eddie...
727
00:30:59,858 --> 00:31:03,612
We're living this fantasy.
728
00:31:03,654 --> 00:31:05,781
And--and we've...
729
00:31:05,823 --> 00:31:07,907
Been doing it
Ever since you got back.
730
00:31:07,949 --> 00:31:11,829
And as nice
As the fantasy is...
731
00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:14,748
It's gonna have to end
Sooner or later.
732
00:31:14,790 --> 00:31:16,124
Well,
Since you put it
That way, joey,
733
00:31:16,166 --> 00:31:18,877
I choose later.
734
00:31:20,587 --> 00:31:21,921
Look, I understand
How you feel,
735
00:31:21,963 --> 00:31:25,091
And I'm sorry
That I gave you
A hard time.
736
00:31:25,133 --> 00:31:27,594
But there's
Nothing I can say
To earn your trust.
737
00:31:29,137 --> 00:31:31,348
So, you're just
Gonna have to take
A leap of faith.
738
00:31:31,390 --> 00:31:34,226
Ok, and know that
739
00:31:34,267 --> 00:31:36,729
I love you
More than anything
In this world.
740
00:31:36,770 --> 00:31:38,814
Ok?
741
00:31:51,869 --> 00:31:53,787
Ok, come on.
742
00:31:53,829 --> 00:31:54,872
Were we going?
743
00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:56,915
Back to my room
Before audrey gets back.
744
00:31:56,956 --> 00:31:58,375
But we drove her
Here.
745
00:31:58,417 --> 00:31:59,626
She's not gonna be
Able to get back
To the--
746
00:31:59,668 --> 00:32:01,795
Exactly!
747
00:32:08,594 --> 00:32:10,679
You know...
748
00:32:10,721 --> 00:32:13,223
Tonight doesn't
Have to be
A complete disaster.
749
00:32:13,265 --> 00:32:14,850
If we hurry,
We can still
Make it to the bars.
750
00:32:14,892 --> 00:32:16,226
Maybe you can find
Some nice guy
751
00:32:16,268 --> 00:32:17,811
For me to openly
Flirt with.
752
00:32:17,853 --> 00:32:18,978
Am I supposed to be
Amused by that?
753
00:32:19,020 --> 00:32:21,106
Yes, david, you are.
754
00:32:21,147 --> 00:32:22,649
Oh.
755
00:32:22,691 --> 00:32:25,736
But since you're not,
756
00:32:25,778 --> 00:32:26,986
Maybe you should just say
What you want to say
757
00:32:27,028 --> 00:32:28,280
And let's get this
Over with.
758
00:32:28,321 --> 00:32:30,115
And you don't
Have anything that
You want to say?
759
00:32:30,156 --> 00:32:31,408
Honestly, no,
Because in my mind
760
00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:32,910
There's nothing worth
Even talking about.
761
00:32:32,951 --> 00:32:36,288
It's just a stupid
Misunderstanding
762
00:32:36,329 --> 00:32:39,332
That you seem intent
On blowing up
Into a much larger deal.
763
00:32:39,374 --> 00:32:42,795
Ok. So, just to clarify,
764
00:32:42,836 --> 00:32:45,213
I'm crazy,
And you're not gonna
Even attempt an apology.
765
00:32:45,255 --> 00:32:48,842
I was just talking
With the guy, david.
That's it.
766
00:32:48,884 --> 00:32:50,677
It's like jen said.
All right, I'm just--
767
00:32:50,719 --> 00:32:53,263
I was being nice.
It's not like I'm trying
To communicate anything.
768
00:32:53,305 --> 00:32:54,640
It's not like I'm trying
To make you feel bad.
769
00:32:54,681 --> 00:32:58,184
You know what?
770
00:32:58,226 --> 00:32:59,728
I'm beginning
To think maybe
I should've trusted
771
00:32:59,770 --> 00:33:01,354
My original
Instincts about you.
772
00:33:01,396 --> 00:33:03,607
What the hell is that
Supposed to mean?
773
00:33:03,649 --> 00:33:05,400
Look, if you want to
Break up with me
774
00:33:05,442 --> 00:33:06,860
Over something
This minor, just do it.
775
00:33:06,902 --> 00:33:10,405
Wow. That's the first
Place you go?
776
00:33:10,447 --> 00:33:12,031
What?
You're worse than jen.
777
00:33:12,073 --> 00:33:12,991
Or maybe you two have
Been hanging out so long
778
00:33:13,032 --> 00:33:14,367
You've just become
The same person.
779
00:33:14,409 --> 00:33:15,619
What the hell
Are you talking--
780
00:33:15,661 --> 00:33:16,829
You know,
For a master communicator,
781
00:33:16,870 --> 00:33:18,413
You're not expressing
Yourself too well right now.
782
00:33:18,455 --> 00:33:20,165
We were having
A tiny little
Argument,
783
00:33:20,206 --> 00:33:21,374
And in 2 seconds,
You just managed
To snowball it
784
00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:22,501
Into something
Catastrophic.
785
00:33:22,542 --> 00:33:23,919
Oh, right. I manage.
786
00:33:23,961 --> 00:33:25,545
And you weren't at all
Being passive aggressive.
787
00:33:25,587 --> 00:33:27,255
I am not the one
Who's looking for
A way out of this.
788
00:33:27,297 --> 00:33:29,006
And I am? And I am?
Do you know what?
789
00:33:29,048 --> 00:33:29,925
If you're bored,
If you're in
Over your head,
790
00:33:29,967 --> 00:33:30,968
Than just say so.
Did I say that?!
791
00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:32,177
Fine, fine.
792
00:33:32,218 --> 00:33:33,428
But I am not
Just gonna dump you
793
00:33:33,470 --> 00:33:35,180
So that you can
Walk away from this
Guilt-free.
794
00:33:35,221 --> 00:33:37,516
Guilt f--
795
00:33:37,557 --> 00:33:39,810
David, I am guilt-free.
I didn't do
Anything wrong.
796
00:33:39,852 --> 00:33:41,019
Right.
797
00:33:41,060 --> 00:33:42,562
What? Oh, great, what?
You're leaving now?
798
00:33:42,604 --> 00:33:44,022
Yes. But before I do,
799
00:33:44,063 --> 00:33:45,482
I'm gonna make this
Really simple for you.
800
00:33:45,524 --> 00:33:48,443
Either apologize to me
Or break up with me.
801
00:33:48,485 --> 00:33:50,445
Oh, fine, ok,
Whatever. Sorry.
802
00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:54,407
No. No, no, no.
803
00:33:54,449 --> 00:33:55,951
I deserve
Better than that.
804
00:33:58,829 --> 00:34:02,081
Take a day.
Hell, take a week.
805
00:34:02,123 --> 00:34:04,584
Think about it,
And let me know
What you decide.
806
00:34:25,271 --> 00:34:27,357
Wait, c.J. Wait.
Let me explain.
807
00:34:29,275 --> 00:34:30,736
Wait, will you please
Just let me explain?
808
00:34:30,777 --> 00:34:31,737
You know, jen,
I think I've heard
809
00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:33,030
All I need
To hear tonight.
810
00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:35,490
Look, I need
To talk to you.
I--I need your help.
811
00:34:35,532 --> 00:34:37,951
Oh, you need my help?
Well, you said it
Earlier.
812
00:34:37,993 --> 00:34:39,036
Why don't you call
The friggin' helpline?
813
00:34:39,076 --> 00:34:41,872
Ok, I will. Ring-ring!
814
00:34:41,914 --> 00:34:44,457
Aw, man, I really hope
Somebody picks up.
Ring-ring!
815
00:34:44,499 --> 00:34:45,959
I'm not gonna
Do this.
816
00:34:46,001 --> 00:34:47,335
Oh, come on.
You've got a crazy girl
817
00:34:47,377 --> 00:34:48,461
On the other end
Of the line
818
00:34:48,503 --> 00:34:50,171
And she might do
Something irrational
819
00:34:50,213 --> 00:34:53,091
If she doesn't have
Somebody to talk to.
Ring-ring.
820
00:34:57,262 --> 00:34:58,555
Hello?
821
00:34:58,597 --> 00:35:01,140
Hi. Is this the helpline?
Yes.
822
00:35:01,182 --> 00:35:03,435
Uh, because you
Didn't say helpline
When you answered.
823
00:35:03,476 --> 00:35:05,771
Hello. Helpline.
824
00:35:05,812 --> 00:35:08,189
Uh, who am I
Speaking with?
825
00:35:08,231 --> 00:35:09,733
Because you didn't
Give me your name, either.
826
00:35:09,775 --> 00:35:12,110
Hello. Helpline.
This is c.J. Do you
Have a crisis?
827
00:35:12,151 --> 00:35:16,073
Hi, c.J.
828
00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:17,323
You have
A very sweet voice.
829
00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:19,785
Do you have
A crisis or not?
830
00:35:19,826 --> 00:35:21,703
Yes, I do.
831
00:35:21,745 --> 00:35:25,373
And you should like
Somebody that I could trust,
832
00:35:25,415 --> 00:35:28,794
And somebody who could
Be endlessly sympathetic
833
00:35:28,835 --> 00:35:30,879
With a girl who has
A lot of problems.
834
00:35:30,921 --> 00:35:33,048
Oh, well,
Isn't that ironic?
835
00:35:33,090 --> 00:35:34,633
Considering I just
Got dumped today
836
00:35:34,674 --> 00:35:37,010
By a girl with
A lot of problems.
837
00:35:37,052 --> 00:35:38,136
Or maybe she
Doesn't have any?
838
00:35:38,177 --> 00:35:39,888
Maybe she doesn't
Have any problems.
839
00:35:39,930 --> 00:35:41,473
Personally,
I wouldn't know
840
00:35:41,514 --> 00:35:42,557
Because she doesn't
Have enough trust
To confide in me.
841
00:35:42,599 --> 00:35:45,435
Well...
842
00:35:45,477 --> 00:35:48,855
The thing is
That maybe...
843
00:35:48,897 --> 00:35:51,357
This girl realizes
That she made a mistake,
844
00:35:51,399 --> 00:35:53,026
But she doesn't
Really know
What to do about it.
845
00:35:53,068 --> 00:35:54,903
Well, maybe
She needs to start
By realizing
846
00:35:54,945 --> 00:35:56,404
That whatever
The problem is,
847
00:35:56,446 --> 00:35:59,532
Her boyfriend's
Not the enemy.
848
00:35:59,574 --> 00:36:02,368
Right. Well, see,
Now, that's the thing
About this girl,
849
00:36:02,410 --> 00:36:04,913
Is that she has
A tendency to subscribe
850
00:36:04,955 --> 00:36:07,290
To self-destructive
Behaviors in her life,
851
00:36:07,332 --> 00:36:10,043
And that when
One part of her life
Isn't going well,
852
00:36:10,085 --> 00:36:14,047
She has this desire
To destroy everything else
853
00:36:14,089 --> 00:36:15,966
Going on, and plus,
She's never
Really been able
854
00:36:16,008 --> 00:36:17,342
To trust anybody
Before, so--
855
00:36:17,383 --> 00:36:20,887
Everybody's gotta
Start sometime.
856
00:36:20,929 --> 00:36:22,848
So--so, what?
So what do I do?
857
00:36:22,889 --> 00:36:24,808
I just--I just--
I just say what it is
858
00:36:24,850 --> 00:36:28,227
That's bothering me,
And then I look up
And you're still there?
859
00:36:28,269 --> 00:36:30,355
Yes. That's what
This whole boyfriend
Thing is all about.
860
00:36:30,396 --> 00:36:31,606
But if you're not
Interested in having
A boyfriend,
861
00:36:31,648 --> 00:36:32,565
I can certainly--
862
00:36:32,607 --> 00:36:36,569
She's sick.
863
00:36:36,611 --> 00:36:38,404
My grams is sick.
864
00:36:41,116 --> 00:36:43,827
And she has been
Keeping it from me,
865
00:36:43,869 --> 00:36:45,578
And it's the reason
That she broke up
With your uncle bill,
866
00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:48,707
And--and I don't know
What else she's been
Keeping from me.
867
00:36:48,748 --> 00:36:50,959
I don't know
What's gonna happen.
868
00:36:51,001 --> 00:36:52,293
I don't know
What I'm gonna do.
869
00:36:52,335 --> 00:36:55,088
I don't know anything
About anything,
870
00:36:55,130 --> 00:36:57,340
And so I had a freak-out,
One freak-out.
871
00:36:57,382 --> 00:37:00,218
Is that ok?
872
00:37:05,431 --> 00:37:07,225
Yes.
873
00:37:18,028 --> 00:37:19,946
Yeah. Take as many
As you need.
874
00:37:33,126 --> 00:37:35,754
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Just the man
I was looking for.
875
00:37:35,795 --> 00:37:37,756
I knew you'd
Come around.
They always do.
876
00:37:37,797 --> 00:37:39,925
Yeah. Where's dr. Drew?
877
00:37:39,966 --> 00:37:42,052
Oh. Again
With the pinsky?
878
00:37:42,094 --> 00:37:43,845
Listen,
I hate to tell you,
879
00:37:43,887 --> 00:37:45,304
But your beloved
Dr. Drew,
880
00:37:45,346 --> 00:37:47,099
Not so great with
The staying power.
881
00:37:47,140 --> 00:37:49,101
What?
882
00:37:49,142 --> 00:37:51,228
He went
To the airport
Right after the gig.
883
00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:53,354
But...
884
00:37:53,396 --> 00:37:55,774
I never got any personal
Face time with him.
885
00:37:58,944 --> 00:38:00,278
What are you
Still doing here?
886
00:38:00,319 --> 00:38:02,447
Eh, I like
To hang behind
At these things.
887
00:38:02,488 --> 00:38:05,075
See if I can
Scrape up
A little coed tail.
888
00:38:05,117 --> 00:38:06,451
Yeah. Has that
Ever worked for you?
889
00:38:06,492 --> 00:38:08,995
No. No, it hasn't.
890
00:38:14,876 --> 00:38:17,254
Joey?
891
00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:20,173
Jen! Jack! Anybody!
892
00:38:20,215 --> 00:38:22,508
Ugh! Can this night
Suck any harder?
893
00:38:22,550 --> 00:38:23,927
You know, there are
More productive ways
894
00:38:23,969 --> 00:38:25,137
To manage
Aggression.
895
00:38:25,178 --> 00:38:27,764
Listen, buddy--oh!
896
00:38:27,806 --> 00:38:31,559
Hi! Dr. Drew, I--
897
00:38:31,601 --> 00:38:33,103
I wasn't
Angry just now.
898
00:38:33,145 --> 00:38:36,397
I was just--I was
Practicing for a play.
899
00:38:36,439 --> 00:38:38,316
You know, "Stella,
Stella," all that.
900
00:38:38,357 --> 00:38:39,442
So you're an actress?
901
00:38:39,484 --> 00:38:42,821
Well...I am.
902
00:38:42,862 --> 00:38:45,157
But, you know,
More so in life,
903
00:38:45,198 --> 00:38:46,992
I guess, than in art.
904
00:38:47,033 --> 00:38:48,701
I have a bit of a flair
For the dramatic.
905
00:38:48,743 --> 00:38:49,869
You don't say.
906
00:38:49,911 --> 00:38:53,539
Yeah.
907
00:38:53,581 --> 00:38:55,250
Although...
908
00:38:55,292 --> 00:38:57,169
I should kind of
Point out
909
00:38:57,210 --> 00:39:00,337
I--I wasn't entirely
Lying about...
910
00:39:00,379 --> 00:39:03,091
The whole rehab thing.
911
00:39:03,133 --> 00:39:04,843
I mean, it happened,
912
00:39:04,884 --> 00:39:07,304
That whole
Part of my life.
913
00:39:07,345 --> 00:39:09,931
And it wasn't pretty,
914
00:39:09,973 --> 00:39:12,851
Having to face myself
And all that.
915
00:39:12,892 --> 00:39:16,354
But every night
916
00:39:16,395 --> 00:39:18,857
After a long day's
Whining,
917
00:39:18,898 --> 00:39:20,692
I would lie in bed
And I would
Bug my roommate
918
00:39:20,733 --> 00:39:22,527
By listening
To you guys give advice
919
00:39:22,568 --> 00:39:24,821
To all those other
Losers out there
In radioland,
920
00:39:24,863 --> 00:39:27,740
And...I don't know.
921
00:39:27,782 --> 00:39:29,450
It just, it...
922
00:39:29,492 --> 00:39:31,368
Made me feel
Less alone.
923
00:39:33,163 --> 00:39:35,373
So...
924
00:39:35,414 --> 00:39:37,375
Well, I guess I just
Want to say thank you.
925
00:39:39,044 --> 00:39:42,047
For being you, and...
926
00:39:42,088 --> 00:39:45,258
The truth is...
927
00:39:45,300 --> 00:39:46,926
I don't know if I could've
Done it without you.
928
00:39:53,183 --> 00:39:56,644
Plus, you're, like,
Totally hot.
929
00:39:56,686 --> 00:39:59,064
Ha ha ha!
930
00:39:59,105 --> 00:40:00,439
Audrey, do you
Want a ride?
931
00:40:00,481 --> 00:40:01,816
Oh, I would love one.
932
00:40:01,858 --> 00:40:02,984
But I know
That you're married,
933
00:40:03,026 --> 00:40:04,402
So we must keep
Our distance, drew.
934
00:40:04,443 --> 00:40:09,699
I'll try.
935
00:40:09,741 --> 00:40:12,827
So, you must have,
Like, a boatload
Of groupies, huh?
936
00:40:12,869 --> 00:40:14,579
A few.
937
00:40:16,206 --> 00:40:18,750
Yeah. Don't you
Kind of hate
Girls like that?
67258
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