Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,016 --> 00:00:02,016
[instrumental music]
2
00:00:05,009 --> 00:00:06,999
[intense music]
3
00:00:08,005 --> 00:00:09,995
[panting]
4
00:00:11,004 --> 00:00:14,014
Sorry. It was a one-time
offense, man.
5
00:00:14,012 --> 00:00:16,012
Won't happen again!
6
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:19,018
[panting]
7
00:00:19,023 --> 00:00:21,013
[man screams]
8
00:00:21,010 --> 00:00:23,000
[birds squawk]
9
00:00:23,004 --> 00:00:25,004
Come on, man.
All I did was jaywalk.
10
00:00:25,023 --> 00:00:28,013
Stop! No! Please!
11
00:00:28,010 --> 00:00:30,010
'No! No!'
12
00:00:31,021 --> 00:00:34,001
[engine revving]
13
00:00:34,004 --> 00:00:36,004
whirr
14
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:39,004
[tires screeching]
15
00:00:40,020 --> 00:00:42,020
[intense music]
16
00:00:57,019 --> 00:00:59,009
[evil laugh]
17
00:01:01,002 --> 00:01:02,022
I'm the Batman!
18
00:01:08,022 --> 00:01:11,022
[theme music]
19
00:01:28,012 --> 00:01:29,012
vroom
20
00:01:33,003 --> 00:01:34,013
[beeping]
21
00:01:39,002 --> 00:01:41,002
[music continue]
22
00:01:54,018 --> 00:01:57,008
♪ The Batman ♪
23
00:02:01,023 --> 00:02:03,003
[bats screeching]
24
00:02:09,007 --> 00:02:11,007
[intense music]
25
00:02:11,015 --> 00:02:12,015
(man on TV)
'Tonight all of Gotham'
26
00:02:12,023 --> 00:02:15,023
again finds itself
terrorized by Joker.
27
00:02:15,020 --> 00:02:18,010
Only this time,
instead of breaking the law
28
00:02:18,008 --> 00:02:19,998
he's enforcing it.
29
00:02:20,005 --> 00:02:22,005
'Donning the costume
and mocking the methods'
30
00:02:22,010 --> 00:02:24,020
of his constant rival
The Batman.
31
00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:27,020
Joker has inexplicably
turned to fighting crime.
32
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,000
The crazed catch?
33
00:02:29,005 --> 00:02:31,005
'It seems the offenses
he targets'
34
00:02:31,009 --> 00:02:33,999
'barely qualify
as crimes, at all.'
35
00:02:34,004 --> 00:02:36,014
'And as Kimberly Smith,
the 78-year-old'
36
00:02:36,011 --> 00:02:39,011
'grandmother of ten, learned
after absentmindedly driving'
37
00:02:39,011 --> 00:02:42,001
'for three blocks
with her turn signal flashing'
38
00:02:42,006 --> 00:02:43,996
'while the crimes may be minor'
39
00:02:44,002 --> 00:02:46,022
'Joker's punishment of them
is anything but..'
40
00:02:49,004 --> 00:02:51,024
Imitation isthe sincerest
form of flattery.
41
00:02:51,021 --> 00:02:54,021
But why do you suppose
the tribute, Master Bruce?
42
00:02:54,023 --> 00:02:57,013
Cheap knockoff is more like it.
43
00:02:57,014 --> 00:02:59,004
But what troubles me most
44
00:02:59,002 --> 00:03:02,012
is that my antidote failed
to cure Joker's jaywalker.
45
00:03:02,012 --> 00:03:04,012
A new strain of Joker gas.
46
00:03:04,016 --> 00:03:06,996
How very ghastly indeed!
47
00:03:07,003 --> 00:03:08,013
[bats screeching]
48
00:03:17,004 --> 00:03:19,014
whoosh
49
00:03:19,014 --> 00:03:21,014
Huh? J-Joker?
50
00:03:21,011 --> 00:03:22,021
Where?
51
00:03:25,003 --> 00:03:27,023
I don't know what you're after
but you will be stopped.
52
00:03:27,020 --> 00:03:32,000
The only thing I'm after,
mayor, are the bad guys.
53
00:03:32,005 --> 00:03:33,015
Then how do you justify
what you did
54
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,020
to three of Gotham PD's
finest today?
55
00:03:36,022 --> 00:03:38,022
'And for what, speeding?'
56
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:40,998
'It was a police chase.'
57
00:03:41,002 --> 00:03:43,012
No one's above the law.
58
00:03:46,016 --> 00:03:48,016
"Bill for services rendered?"
59
00:03:48,021 --> 00:03:51,021
"One million dollars."
What?
60
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:55,012
Crime-fighting ain't
charity work, you know.
61
00:03:55,009 --> 00:03:57,009
And if the city doesn't comply?
62
00:03:57,008 --> 00:04:00,018
Then Gotham pays...dearly!
63
00:04:01,001 --> 00:04:03,001
[evil laugh]
64
00:04:03,003 --> 00:04:05,003
Ahem! Sorry.
65
00:04:06,020 --> 00:04:10,020
I must say, mayor, of all
the scum I've taken down so far
66
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:14,020
it was your wife
who disappointed me the most.
67
00:04:15,016 --> 00:04:17,006
My wife? Sheila?
68
00:04:17,016 --> 00:04:19,016
What have you done to Sheila?
69
00:04:19,019 --> 00:04:22,019
Eleven items at a ten-item
grocery checkout.
70
00:04:22,021 --> 00:04:24,001
She had it coming.
71
00:04:25,006 --> 00:04:26,996
- Huh?
- Ha ha ha!
72
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,023
Sheila.
73
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,000
'Sheila!'
74
00:04:35,011 --> 00:04:37,011
[children laughing]
75
00:04:41,022 --> 00:04:43,022
- 'Well, well, well.'
- Huh?
76
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:46,007
(Joker)
Graffiti!
77
00:04:46,014 --> 00:04:49,014
That's a pretty serious
offense, girls.
78
00:04:49,014 --> 00:04:51,024
But that's why I became
a crime fighter.
79
00:04:51,022 --> 00:04:54,022
To take out garbage like you.
80
00:04:54,020 --> 00:04:56,010
- Unh!
- Ah!
81
00:04:56,012 --> 00:04:58,012
[grunting]
82
00:04:59,011 --> 00:05:02,011
The costume party's over, Joker.
83
00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:04,001
Joker? Didn't you hear?
84
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:06,024
The clown prince of crime's
checked out.
85
00:05:06,023 --> 00:05:09,003
He just couldn't take anymore.
86
00:05:09,003 --> 00:05:10,023
'Couldn't take The Batman.'
87
00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:13,008
Always there to thwart
his latest scheme.
88
00:05:13,011 --> 00:05:16,001
Well, it was really starting
to drive him mad.
89
00:05:17,004 --> 00:05:18,024
But then Joker thought
90
00:05:18,019 --> 00:05:20,009
if he couldn't beat The Bat
91
00:05:20,011 --> 00:05:22,011
he'd beThe Bat.
92
00:05:22,015 --> 00:05:23,995
[chuckles]
93
00:05:24,006 --> 00:05:26,006
Then Gotham has
one Batman too many.
94
00:05:26,012 --> 00:05:29,012
Which means one of us
has gotta go.
95
00:05:29,007 --> 00:05:31,007
My thoughts exactly.
96
00:05:32,001 --> 00:05:33,011
click
97
00:05:35,012 --> 00:05:37,002
boom
98
00:05:39,023 --> 00:05:41,013
click
99
00:05:43,016 --> 00:05:46,016
[dramatic music]
100
00:06:01,014 --> 00:06:03,014
[grunting]
101
00:06:05,001 --> 00:06:06,011
[laughs]
102
00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:08,998
clang
103
00:06:11,014 --> 00:06:14,014
[grunting]
104
00:06:19,010 --> 00:06:20,020
Unh!
105
00:06:20,017 --> 00:06:22,007
thwack
106
00:06:24,015 --> 00:06:25,015
thud
107
00:06:26,017 --> 00:06:28,017
[grunts]
108
00:06:28,017 --> 00:06:29,017
[laughs]
109
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:31,022
[groans]
110
00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:39,009
New-and-improved Batman
beats original recipe.
111
00:06:40,017 --> 00:06:43,007
But that doesn't mean
our rivalry has to end.
112
00:06:43,012 --> 00:06:45,022
You see,
The Batman needs a Joker.
113
00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:48,001
Someone who gives him purpose.
114
00:06:48,003 --> 00:06:50,023
Which means if I'm going
to make it as The Dark Knight
115
00:06:51,001 --> 00:06:54,001
I'm going to need
a Joker of my own.
116
00:06:54,003 --> 00:06:57,013
'And who better a foil
than you, old friend?'
117
00:06:57,009 --> 00:06:58,999
[groans]
118
00:06:59,005 --> 00:07:00,995
[intense music]
119
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:02,023
Ugh!
120
00:07:06,002 --> 00:07:07,012
Joker venom.
121
00:07:07,014 --> 00:07:10,024
'Just the thing to inject
a bit of humor into you.'
122
00:07:14,003 --> 00:07:15,023
hiss
123
00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:17,000
Don't fret, Batman.
124
00:07:17,002 --> 00:07:19,012
You'll soon make
a great Joker.
125
00:07:19,009 --> 00:07:21,999
Just don't forget to smile.
126
00:07:22,004 --> 00:07:23,024
[music continues]
127
00:07:30,022 --> 00:07:32,022
[instrumental music]
128
00:07:36,008 --> 00:07:38,998
That is quite
a nasty bite, sir.
129
00:07:39,005 --> 00:07:41,995
- Really, Alfred, it's nothing.
- Nothing?
130
00:07:42,002 --> 00:07:43,012
Who knows what
chemical concoction
131
00:07:43,015 --> 00:07:45,005
that madman cooked up
for you.
132
00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:47,017
Look, if the snake's venom
was harmful
133
00:07:47,021 --> 00:07:49,011
I'm sure I'd know it by now.
134
00:07:49,015 --> 00:07:52,995
But to tell the truth,
Alfred, I feel great.
135
00:07:53,003 --> 00:07:54,013
Even a bit chipper.
136
00:07:55,019 --> 00:07:58,009
Even so, we should let
your lab results
137
00:07:58,007 --> 00:07:59,997
'inform us
whether anything dangerous'
138
00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:02,023
'is currently coursing
through your veins.'
139
00:08:02,018 --> 00:08:05,008
I think the only dangerous
thing you're gonna find
140
00:08:05,008 --> 00:08:06,998
are my cholesterol levels.
141
00:08:07,003 --> 00:08:09,013
- Heh heh heh.
- Sir?
142
00:08:09,012 --> 00:08:12,022
Uh, nothing, Alfred.
Just a bad joke.
143
00:08:12,019 --> 00:08:14,009
Well, I'd better get
to the hospital
144
00:08:14,009 --> 00:08:17,999
and see about sneaking a blood
sample from Mayor Grange's wife.
145
00:08:18,003 --> 00:08:21,003
Uh, sir, all things considered,
until we know your results
146
00:08:21,004 --> 00:08:23,024
I must insistyou remain
in the Batcave.
147
00:08:23,018 --> 00:08:25,018
Sorry, Alfred,
right now I'm the only hope
148
00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:27,010
of Joker's victims
getting an antidote.
149
00:08:27,016 --> 00:08:29,016
'And, besides,
Mayor Grange could probably'
150
00:08:29,022 --> 00:08:31,012
'use some support.'
151
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:34,010
Seeing an old friend might
bring a smile to his face.
152
00:08:34,008 --> 00:08:35,008
[bats screeching]
153
00:08:40,011 --> 00:08:43,011
I can't begin to imagine what
you're going through, mayor.
154
00:08:43,015 --> 00:08:46,995
It's been a real
tough stretch, Bruce.
155
00:08:47,006 --> 00:08:49,016
Your arm?
You hurt yourself?
156
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,020
Cut myself shaving.
157
00:08:53,017 --> 00:08:55,017
I'm kidding.
Heh heh heh.
158
00:08:55,020 --> 00:08:56,020
[snorting]
159
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,020
Uh, yes, well..
160
00:08:58,020 --> 00:09:00,000
I am glad you came, Bruce.
161
00:09:00,002 --> 00:09:02,002
I was hoping
I could get your advice.
162
00:09:02,005 --> 00:09:04,005
Joker's demanding
a large ransom and the city
163
00:09:04,014 --> 00:09:08,024
well, just doesn't have that
kind of money available.
164
00:09:09,001 --> 00:09:11,021
If it means helping Gotham
and easing your burden
165
00:09:11,021 --> 00:09:14,001
I can write you a check
right now.
166
00:09:14,006 --> 00:09:16,016
You, you'd do that?
167
00:09:16,018 --> 00:09:18,018
No.
168
00:09:18,017 --> 00:09:20,007
[laughing]
Yes.
169
00:09:21,017 --> 00:09:23,007
I'm not sure
that's funny, Bruce.
170
00:09:23,016 --> 00:09:27,006
No, uh, I-I'm being
very serious, sir.
171
00:09:27,010 --> 00:09:28,010
[laughing]
172
00:09:28,014 --> 00:09:31,004
Are you sure
everything's alright?
173
00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:37,001
Uh, maybe I am a little bit
out of sorts.
174
00:09:38,005 --> 00:09:39,995
Why don't we see
how Sheila's doing?
175
00:09:42,005 --> 00:09:44,015
I wanna warn you,
it's pretty shocking.
176
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:47,008
[intense music]
177
00:09:49,002 --> 00:09:51,012
Oh, that's terri..
178
00:09:51,014 --> 00:09:53,014
Umh..
179
00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:55,010
[laughing]
180
00:09:56,008 --> 00:09:58,008
Bruce, please.
181
00:09:58,010 --> 00:09:59,020
[laughing]
182
00:09:59,018 --> 00:10:01,008
Sorry. Oh!
183
00:10:01,007 --> 00:10:02,017
I don't know
what's come over me.
184
00:10:02,022 --> 00:10:04,012
[monitor beeping]
185
00:10:04,010 --> 00:10:07,000
[laughing]
186
00:10:07,002 --> 00:10:09,012
Excuse me.
Ha ha ha! Sorry.
187
00:10:09,011 --> 00:10:11,011
[Bruce laughing]
188
00:10:12,018 --> 00:10:13,018
Hey!
189
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,020
Uh.
190
00:10:15,017 --> 00:10:17,017
The Joker venom.
191
00:10:17,022 --> 00:10:20,022
[laughing]
192
00:10:23,010 --> 00:10:26,010
(Bruce)
'The results of the lab
analysis are grim, Alfred.'
193
00:10:26,007 --> 00:10:27,017
Very grim.
194
00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:30,007
It seems Joker's new venom
attacks the nervous system
195
00:10:30,014 --> 00:10:32,024
and forces the body
into gradually increasing
196
00:10:32,019 --> 00:10:34,999
'fits of laughter
until finally--'
197
00:10:35,003 --> 00:10:37,003
Joker said he wanted
an archenemy
198
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,003
but he didn't say
a pulse was required.
199
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:41,016
[laughing]
That's rich!
200
00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:44,020
[laughing]
You crack me up, Al.
201
00:10:44,023 --> 00:10:46,003
Ah heh..
202
00:10:46,006 --> 00:10:48,016
[sighs]
203
00:10:49,001 --> 00:10:50,021
So, I devised this antidote.
204
00:10:50,023 --> 00:10:53,013
'All I need is a sample
of Joker's original venom'
205
00:10:53,007 --> 00:10:54,007
'in order to complete it.'
206
00:10:54,013 --> 00:10:57,013
Which would require
finding Joker.
207
00:10:57,012 --> 00:11:00,012
And soon, at the poison's
current rate of progress
208
00:11:00,016 --> 00:11:02,996
'I have an hour left to live.'
209
00:11:03,006 --> 00:11:04,006
[gasps]
210
00:11:04,014 --> 00:11:07,014
And now only 59 minutes,
39 seconds.
211
00:11:07,015 --> 00:11:08,015
[laughing]
212
00:11:08,020 --> 00:11:11,010
Fifty, fifty-nine minutes,
27 seconds.
213
00:11:11,008 --> 00:11:12,018
[laughing]
214
00:11:12,023 --> 00:11:16,003
Things can't get any
worse now, can they?
215
00:11:16,006 --> 00:11:17,006
[bats screeching]
216
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:22,011
beep beep beep
217
00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:25,010
kaboom
218
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,010
Tweet, tweet!
219
00:11:31,008 --> 00:11:43,018
[laughing]
220
00:11:46,011 --> 00:11:48,011
Pull yourself together, sir.
221
00:11:48,012 --> 00:11:50,002
I'm sorry, Alfred.
222
00:11:50,006 --> 00:11:53,006
This venom is
driving me batty. Batty!
223
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:55,013
[laughing]
224
00:11:57,009 --> 00:11:58,019
The Batwave.
225
00:11:59,023 --> 00:12:02,023
Break-in at,
at the Gotham museum of art.
226
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,022
Joker?
227
00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:05,001
The crime clown
has a different
228
00:12:05,006 --> 00:12:06,016
MO these days.
229
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,007
Isn't the museum hosting
a collection of priceless
230
00:12:08,011 --> 00:12:10,011
Faberge eggs this week?
231
00:12:10,013 --> 00:12:12,003
You don't think..
232
00:12:12,005 --> 00:12:14,005
Mm-hmm. Penguin.
233
00:12:14,008 --> 00:12:16,008
As much as I hate
to suggest it
234
00:12:16,007 --> 00:12:19,007
Oswald Cobblepot will have
to get a free pass tonight
235
00:12:19,011 --> 00:12:21,021
as your focus must be
on finding Joker.
236
00:12:21,021 --> 00:12:23,011
If Joker's playing Batman
237
00:12:23,014 --> 00:12:25,014
he'll be there to
take down Penguin.
238
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:27,021
I can hit two birds
with one stone.
239
00:12:27,017 --> 00:12:29,007
Get it? Birds!
240
00:12:29,013 --> 00:12:32,013
[laughing]
241
00:12:32,013 --> 00:12:34,003
Good one, sir.
242
00:12:35,012 --> 00:12:38,002
(Joker)
'Break-in at the Gotham
museum of art?'
243
00:12:38,006 --> 00:12:40,016
This looks like a job for..
244
00:12:40,017 --> 00:12:41,997
...The Batman.
245
00:12:42,002 --> 00:12:43,022
[bats screeching]
246
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,020
[dramatic music]
247
00:12:50,004 --> 00:12:52,024
vroom vroom vroom
248
00:12:58,013 --> 00:13:00,013
[bats screeching]
249
00:13:00,014 --> 00:13:05,024
Uh, these precious eggs
are gonna hatch me a fortune.
250
00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:07,007
The perfect crime.
251
00:13:07,013 --> 00:13:10,023
No fuss, no muss, and no--
252
00:13:10,019 --> 00:13:12,019
(Joker)
'Penguin!'
253
00:13:14,004 --> 00:13:15,024
Batman.
254
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,010
[dramatic music]
255
00:13:21,014 --> 00:13:22,024
swish swish swish
256
00:13:22,021 --> 00:13:24,001
[grunts]
257
00:13:25,009 --> 00:13:26,009
Ugh!
258
00:13:30,005 --> 00:13:31,015
[panting]
259
00:13:34,003 --> 00:13:36,013
Quack! Huh?
260
00:13:37,022 --> 00:13:40,022
- 'Joker?'
- I'm The Batman.
261
00:13:42,008 --> 00:13:43,998
You see, the thing is..
262
00:13:44,004 --> 00:13:45,024
...you're not!
263
00:13:45,017 --> 00:13:48,007
The eggs, Penguin,
or I scramble you.
264
00:13:48,015 --> 00:13:49,995
Are you out of your gourd?
265
00:13:50,005 --> 00:13:51,015
I'm in the middle of a heist!
266
00:13:51,023 --> 00:13:53,013
You don't see me barging in
267
00:13:53,014 --> 00:13:56,014
on your "gas all of Gotham"
schemes, do you?
268
00:13:56,013 --> 00:13:59,003
It is called
professional courtesy.
269
00:13:59,002 --> 00:14:02,012
Sorry, Pengie, but bringing down
Gotham's second-biggest criminal
270
00:14:02,016 --> 00:14:05,016
means my biggest bounty yet.
271
00:14:05,019 --> 00:14:07,009
Second-biggest?
272
00:14:07,016 --> 00:14:08,016
Says who?
273
00:14:08,020 --> 00:14:10,020
whoosh
274
00:14:10,019 --> 00:14:12,009
screech
275
00:14:12,014 --> 00:14:14,024
Hyah!
276
00:14:16,011 --> 00:14:17,011
[Penguin grunts]
277
00:14:19,012 --> 00:14:21,022
[both grunting]
278
00:14:25,008 --> 00:14:26,018
Arr-rrgh!
279
00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:35,004
[Batman laughing]
280
00:14:39,001 --> 00:14:40,021
- Joker!
- Batman?
281
00:14:40,022 --> 00:14:42,002
[laughing]
282
00:14:42,005 --> 00:14:45,015
If it isn't dumb and dumber.
283
00:14:45,022 --> 00:14:47,022
[laughing]
284
00:14:49,003 --> 00:14:52,023
Okay, now you two are startin'
to creep me out.
285
00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:55,010
This is no longer funny, Joker.
286
00:14:55,009 --> 00:14:58,019
[laughing]
Hand over the venom.
287
00:14:59,001 --> 00:15:01,021
[laughing]
288
00:15:01,017 --> 00:15:04,017
But you're so close
to completing your evolution.
289
00:15:04,023 --> 00:15:07,023
Ah, well, it seems you two
have something to settle.
290
00:15:07,017 --> 00:15:09,017
- So, I'll just--
- Not so fast, Penguin.
291
00:15:10,001 --> 00:15:11,021
The eggs!
292
00:15:11,020 --> 00:15:13,020
[dramatic music]
293
00:15:17,014 --> 00:15:19,024
[grunting]
294
00:15:20,023 --> 00:15:24,003
[all grunting]
295
00:15:27,011 --> 00:15:29,001
Ugh, ugh, uh!
296
00:15:29,005 --> 00:15:30,005
[gasps]
297
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,010
[Penguin grunts]
298
00:15:36,005 --> 00:15:37,005
Yes!
299
00:15:37,012 --> 00:15:39,012
[eggs shattering]
300
00:15:39,011 --> 00:15:41,021
That is one expensive omelet.
301
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:44,003
[laughing]
302
00:15:46,015 --> 00:15:49,015
Since I can't leave
here empty-handed..
303
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:55,999
You do not want that, Penguin.
304
00:15:56,004 --> 00:16:00,014
If you want it, Batman,
I want it.
305
00:16:02,015 --> 00:16:04,005
[evil laugh]
306
00:16:09,019 --> 00:16:10,999
Aah!
307
00:16:11,006 --> 00:16:12,006
Quack!
308
00:16:14,021 --> 00:16:16,001
Huh?
309
00:16:16,004 --> 00:16:18,014
[music continues]
310
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:22,012
whirr whirr
311
00:16:22,013 --> 00:16:23,023
Wait!
312
00:16:25,009 --> 00:16:26,009
Ah!
313
00:16:28,023 --> 00:16:29,023
Uh-uh-uh.
314
00:16:29,023 --> 00:16:32,023
Comedy istiming, you know?
315
00:16:34,010 --> 00:16:36,010
[both grunting]
316
00:16:39,020 --> 00:16:42,010
Hyah! Ooh!
317
00:16:42,012 --> 00:16:43,022
[groans]
318
00:16:44,016 --> 00:16:46,006
[chains clanking]
319
00:16:47,014 --> 00:16:48,024
Ha!
320
00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:56,010
Well, now, what could it be
that you want so badly?
321
00:16:56,009 --> 00:16:59,009
Ooh, no.
That is not a good idea.
322
00:16:59,009 --> 00:17:00,019
Says you!
323
00:17:03,003 --> 00:17:04,013
Ow!
324
00:17:04,016 --> 00:17:06,016
[laughing]
Priceless.
325
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,010
Ow! Unh!
326
00:17:09,009 --> 00:17:10,009
[groans]
327
00:17:10,015 --> 00:17:11,015
Aah!
328
00:17:15,002 --> 00:17:17,022
Aa-aa-aah!
329
00:17:17,020 --> 00:17:19,020
Unh! Mmm!
330
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:23,010
Well, guess I'll just
hang out here.
331
00:17:23,015 --> 00:17:26,015
[laughing]
Well, that's a good one, Pengie.
332
00:17:26,017 --> 00:17:27,997
[laughing]
333
00:17:32,002 --> 00:17:34,012
[Batman laughing]
334
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:38,011
Tick-tock, tick-tock.
335
00:17:40,001 --> 00:17:41,011
You know, what's funny.
336
00:17:41,007 --> 00:17:43,017
This situation
reminds me of a joke!
337
00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:44,998
[grunts]
338
00:17:45,004 --> 00:17:46,024
A doctor told his patient
339
00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:49,001
"I have bad news
and worse news."
340
00:17:49,003 --> 00:17:50,013
Ugh!
341
00:17:50,008 --> 00:17:52,008
"Oh, dear! What's the bad news?"
342
00:17:52,009 --> 00:17:53,009
asked the patient.
343
00:17:53,013 --> 00:17:54,013
[grunting]
344
00:17:54,014 --> 00:17:55,024
The doctor replied
345
00:17:55,020 --> 00:17:58,000
"you only have 24 hours
to live!"
346
00:17:58,006 --> 00:17:59,006
Aah!
347
00:17:59,015 --> 00:18:00,995
"That's terrible,"
said the patient.
348
00:18:01,005 --> 00:18:03,015
"But how can the other news
possibly be worse?"
349
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,010
[grunts]
350
00:18:10,014 --> 00:18:14,004
The doctor replied, "Well,
I've been trying to contact you
351
00:18:14,006 --> 00:18:15,016
since yesterday!"
352
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,020
[laughing]
353
00:18:22,007 --> 00:18:24,007
[Batman gasping]
354
00:18:28,009 --> 00:18:30,019
That joke always slays 'em.
355
00:18:33,015 --> 00:18:36,015
[laughing]
356
00:18:39,009 --> 00:18:40,009
[gasps]
357
00:18:40,014 --> 00:18:43,014
[dramatic music]
358
00:18:49,023 --> 00:18:52,023
You really know
how to squelch a laugh.
359
00:18:55,011 --> 00:18:57,011
[grunting]
360
00:18:57,008 --> 00:19:00,008
Stop me if you've heard
this one before, Joker.
361
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:04,015
A man walked into a bar.
362
00:19:06,002 --> 00:19:07,012
Ow!
363
00:19:07,014 --> 00:19:08,024
And said
364
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,010
"Ow!"
365
00:19:12,011 --> 00:19:14,001
[chuckles]
366
00:19:14,005 --> 00:19:17,005
[laughing]
367
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,010
Good one, Batman.
368
00:19:21,007 --> 00:19:23,007
"Said, ow."
369
00:19:23,009 --> 00:19:25,019
[laughing]
370
00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:28,001
Who knew you had it in you?
371
00:19:28,002 --> 00:19:29,022
[laughing]
372
00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:32,024
That's the Joker I know.
373
00:19:33,021 --> 00:19:36,011
[Joker laughing]
374
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,998
[Penguin laughing]
375
00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:42,020
Hey, what's so funny?
376
00:19:42,018 --> 00:19:44,008
Ehhh..
377
00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:45,008
[laughing]
378
00:19:45,016 --> 00:19:48,006
[Joker and Penguin laughing]
379
00:19:56,019 --> 00:19:59,009
[theme music]
380
00:20:18,003 --> 00:20:20,013
♪ The Batman ♪
22747
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
