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- Welcome, fellow human beings,
to my meditation class, mm-kay,
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00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:31,199
whether you're
a meditation expert
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00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:33,433
or just here
as a school-mandated
4
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,368
alternative to detention.
5
00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:37,036
- This sucks.
6
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:38,171
- Yeah, really.
7
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Can we just go to detention?
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- Now, everyone, concentrate
on your mantra, mm-kay?
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Om.
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Om.
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- Uh.
12
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:53,154
- Um.
13
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:56,256
- Very good, Beavis
and Butt-Head, very good.
14
00:00:56,323 --> 00:01:01,528
Now, try to empty your minds
of all thought.
15
00:01:01,594 --> 00:01:03,863
- Uh.
- Uh, what?
16
00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:07,867
- It sounds easy, but some say
only the Buddha himself
17
00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:10,537
was able to completely
empty his mind
18
00:01:10,603 --> 00:01:12,439
and achieve enlightenment.
19
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:15,209
Now, let's begin
while I set the mood
20
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,578
with these Tibetan
singing bowls I bought
21
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:20,046
at Cost Plus World Market.
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00:01:23,683 --> 00:01:27,521
- Okay, clear your mind.
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Clear your mind.
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- Don't think.
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Wait, where did I park?
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- Uh.
27
00:01:41,801 --> 00:01:43,570
- Huh. Hmm.
28
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,608
- Adam just doesn't get me.
29
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- No thoughts.
30
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Wait, that is a thought.
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00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:04,224
- Huh?
32
00:02:06,926 --> 00:02:09,330
- Uh, whoa.
33
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:12,332
I think we, like,
left our bodies or something.
34
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,134
- Oh. Cool.
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My body sucked.
36
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- Yeah, mine too.
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It never scored.
38
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Um, where are we going?
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- Uh, I don't care.
40
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:31,884
- Lil Nas X, I sentence you
to five years
41
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in Montero State Prison.
42
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- Daytrip took it to ten.
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♪ Baby back, ay ♪
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♪ Couple racks, ay ♪
Whoa.
45
00:02:42,128 --> 00:02:43,997
You think he smuggled
those Grammys in
46
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inside his butt?
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00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:47,935
- Uh, yeah.
48
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That's why he's
cleaning 'em off.
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Everything in prison comes in
through your butt.
50
00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:56,143
See that guy right there?
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He's about to pull
a Little League trophy
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out of his butt.
53
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- Oh, yeah, yeah.
54
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:05,818
Yeah, nowadays everyone
gets a trophy, you know?
55
00:03:06,986 --> 00:03:08,822
- Yeah.
56
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,657
Good for your self-esteem.
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Bad for your butt.
58
00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:17,865
- ♪ I told you long ago ♪
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00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:21,968
Whoa, do those guys
have schlongs?
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00:03:22,034 --> 00:03:24,337
- Uh, I think so.
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00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:26,873
They're just using,
like, special effects
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00:03:26,939 --> 00:03:28,609
to "pixtelate" them out.
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00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,045
- Oh, that was nice
of them, yeah.
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Whoa.
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00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:36,960
Boy, I wouldn't want to be,
like, grinding around
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00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,752
on the floor like that,
you know, 'cause...
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00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:40,329
you know how people
always pee and poop
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00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:42,656
in the shower, you know?
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00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:46,192
- Uh... no.
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00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:48,662
I mean, like,
I pee in the shower,
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but I don't poop.
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- What, you don't?
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00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:53,477
Yeah, you know what I'm
talking about, Butt-Head.
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00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:55,002
Everyone does it, you know?
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Just like,
you poop in the shower,
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00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,138
and then you mash it down
with your foot
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into that drain thing,
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00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,040
and then you go
wash your foot off
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00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,175
in the toilet, you know.
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00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:06,813
- Uh, no, I don't know, Beavis.
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00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:09,216
- Boy, you're weird, Butt-Head.
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00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:11,018
I think everybody does that.
I don't know.
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00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,719
I mean, that's what I do.
84
00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:19,091
- Uh, Beavis, I'm gonna pretend
I didn't hear any of this.
85
00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:22,562
Now, let's go back to watching
these naked dudes dance.
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- Is he, like,
working at T-Mobile now?
87
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:31,004
- Uh, I think you have
to work at T-Mobile
88
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:33,173
when you're in prison.
89
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,274
- Oh. Oh, that sucks.
90
00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:36,552
I thought you just get to, like,
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00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:38,077
sit around and watch TV
all the time.
92
00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:40,680
You have to work at T-Mobile?
93
00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:43,617
That's, like, inhumane
or something.
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00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:49,221
- This video is, like,
really groundbreaking
95
00:04:49,288 --> 00:04:51,759
'cause, like,
Jack Harlow's not in it.
96
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,293
Uh.
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00:04:54,362 --> 00:04:56,262
Oh, never mind.
98
00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:57,764
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
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00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,031
There he is.
100
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,970
- Someone should do something
about Jack Harlow
101
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:05,773
being in every video.
102
00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:07,940
Uh. Oh.
103
00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:10,310
I guess they did.
104
00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:12,178
- Yeah, yeah.
105
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,726
- Uh, where are we?
106
00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:30,262
- I think it's, like,
Arizona or something.
107
00:05:30,329 --> 00:05:32,031
- Greetings, travelers.
108
00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:34,100
And welcome to enlightenment.
109
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I am the Buddha.
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- Uh, okay.
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- Let me introduce you
to the others who are here.
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00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:43,209
Ganesh.
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- So few humans make it here.
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Welcome.
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00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:48,180
- Jesus.
116
00:05:48,247 --> 00:05:49,882
- Bless you, my children.
117
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- Zeus.
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- Kudos.
119
00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:54,221
- And, uh, Bill Gates.
120
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- Hi.
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I've been meditating
for five years.
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- He also donated a lot of money
123
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,430
to some Buddhist nonprofits.
124
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- This place is neat, huh?
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00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,735
- A lot of money.
126
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:12,139
So now you are here at the end
of your lifelong journey.
127
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Enlightenment,
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00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:16,175
the place of serenity,
true wisdom,
129
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and freedom from desire.
130
00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:20,747
- So we have to be here
instead of detention?
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00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:23,216
Yeah, that sucks.
132
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:26,454
Is there anything
cool here at all?
133
00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:29,589
- Would you like to hear
the meaning of life?
134
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:31,725
- Uh, no.
135
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:34,194
- Yeah. Sounds boring. Yeah.
136
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,797
- But it's the meaning of life.
137
00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:40,033
- You do realize that's
the reason people come here,
138
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:41,735
to learn the meaning of life.
139
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:47,206
- That cloud looks like a butt.
140
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- Yeah, it's a butt! In the sky!
141
00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:58,651
- It's a butt.
142
00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:01,754
- Yeah.
143
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:04,658
- What are we going
to do about them?
144
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,093
- Do not worry.
145
00:07:06,158 --> 00:07:08,995
None may remain here
in the state of enlightenment
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unless they can keep
their serenity and focus.
147
00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:16,269
- Well, so when they lose
their serenity and focus...
148
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- They must leave,
never to return.
149
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,514
- Hey.
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00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:30,483
Um, in Arizona, do you have,
like, food?
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- Food does not exist here.
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00:07:32,283 --> 00:07:34,954
Here we are free
from all desire.
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- Uh, that sucks.
154
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- Yeah, really.
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- Yes.
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It's enough to make you lose
your serenity and focus,
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is it not?
158
00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:48,334
- Although technically,
you can manifest
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anything you want here with
the power of your will, so...
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00:07:51,504 --> 00:07:52,973
- Uh.
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Cool.
- Yeah, these are fantastic.
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- Those bowls were given to me
by the first Dalai Lama
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in the year 1392.
164
00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:06,586
- Oh, yeah.
165
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:09,422
Yeah, Mr. Van Driessen
has the same ones.
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00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:11,725
- His are from
Cost Plus World Market.
167
00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:13,393
- Yup.
168
00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:15,862
Same ones. Yep.
169
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,298
- Whoops.
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00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,367
- Someone should clean that up.
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00:08:20,432 --> 00:08:21,834
- Yeah, really.
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Hey, naked guy, can you
go ahead and clean this up?
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You're already wearing a towel.
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- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you can just use that.
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00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,144
Yeah.
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00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:32,980
Yeah, wipe that up, too,
while you're at it.
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00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,447
Come on, let's go, come on.
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- Why, you
disrespectful little...
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- Zeus, concentrate
on your breathing.
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00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:41,086
- Don't tell me what to do!
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00:08:41,153 --> 00:08:43,423
- Whoa, take it easy.
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00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:44,692
Keep your towel on.
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00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:46,092
- Yeah, really.
184
00:08:46,158 --> 00:08:47,894
No one wants to see your wiener.
185
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:51,230
- I should shove
a thunderbolt up your ass!
186
00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:58,304
- Everybody, please, remember
your serenity and focus.
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Don't make the mistake
Zeus just made.
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00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,009
- Hey, Beavis,
189
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,644
let's think of a monster truck.
190
00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:07,681
- Yeah, yeah, and tear ass
all over the place, yeah.
191
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,616
- You're goddamn right.
192
00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:11,350
- That is enough
outta you punks!
193
00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,697
You hold them,
and I'll hit them.
194
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,958
Damn, this feels great!
195
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:20,393
Whoo!
196
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:25,899
That was cool.
197
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:28,567
- My children,
we must work through this
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00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:30,403
in an enlightened manner.
199
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:31,871
- Um, you've got
some nacho cheese
200
00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:34,140
on your dress there, sir.
201
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,678
- This is what you call
nacho cheese?
202
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:43,316
It smells like
a beautiful flower.
203
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:47,019
This is delicious.
204
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,990
I must get me some nachos.
205
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,995
- Uh, where'd he go?
206
00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:58,164
Yeah.
207
00:09:58,230 --> 00:10:00,299
- So I guess
it's just you and me
208
00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:02,235
for the rest of eternity, huh?
209
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,336
That'll give us
plenty of time to talk
210
00:10:04,403 --> 00:10:06,472
about the future of computing.
211
00:10:06,538 --> 00:10:07,875
Damn it.
212
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,677
- This guy is pissing me off.
213
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,510
- Yeah, me too, yeah.
214
00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:12,578
Yeah, let's kick his...
215
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,822
- Whoa! What happened?
216
00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:26,860
- Uh, I think we, like, escaped
enlightenment or something.
217
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,394
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
218
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:32,799
Yeah, good, yeah,
'cause that place sucked, yeah.
219
00:10:32,865 --> 00:10:34,701
It was, like, in Arizona.
220
00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:35,769
Yeah.
221
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:38,071
- Boys, if you keep talking,
222
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:41,709
you'll never advance
in meditation, mm-kay?
223
00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:44,010
- Cool.
- Yeah.
224
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,671
- ♪ L-L-look, look,
look, look, look, look ♪
225
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:03,629
♪ Pole dancer ♪ - Whoa!
226
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:05,365
Okay, here we go. Yeah.
227
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:08,067
- Now we're getting somewhere.
228
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:10,037
- Yeah, it's like,
there's these chicks
229
00:11:10,102 --> 00:11:12,672
with big old butts,
and they're dancing on poles,
230
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:15,442
and there's a spinning
beach ball...
231
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,010
Wait a second.
232
00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:20,379
Damn it.
233
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:24,551
- Uh. This sucks.
234
00:11:24,616 --> 00:11:26,153
- Maybe if we just,
like, you know,
235
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:30,222
wait a minute or something,
it'll start up again, you know?
236
00:11:30,289 --> 00:11:31,624
Gotta be patient.
237
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,293
- Sometimes it takes a while.
238
00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:50,376
- Um, Butt-Head?
239
00:11:50,442 --> 00:11:53,013
I think it's been, like,
a day or something.
240
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,914
I don't think that beach ball
is going away.
241
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:59,986
- Uh, well, Beavis, we're just
gonna have to do like the days
242
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:04,356
before TV was invented and find
real pole dancers ourselves.
243
00:12:04,423 --> 00:12:05,692
- Oh, boy.
244
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:08,095
Okay.
245
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:12,099
- Uh, I think there's, like,
a strip club around here,
246
00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:15,769
and I think we can get in
if we act all, like, mature.
247
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:18,437
"Mature."
248
00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:21,374
Do they have poles?
249
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,309
- It's a strip club, dumbass.
250
00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:25,711
They all have poles
and, like, machines
251
00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:28,380
that make it rain and, uh...
252
00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:29,749
Whoa!
253
00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:31,717
Check it out, Beavis.
254
00:12:31,784 --> 00:12:33,419
Polling...
255
00:12:33,485 --> 00:12:34,687
Palace.
256
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,123
Polling Palace.
257
00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:38,691
Yeah, cool.
258
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,860
This must be it! Yeah.
259
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:45,465
- Beavis, we're about
to get all up in the club.
260
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,634
- Boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oing!
261
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,735
Hmm!
262
00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:55,707
- This live dig might
get drowned out by sound.
263
00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:58,177
What are they doing?
What are those things?
264
00:12:58,245 --> 00:13:01,815
- Uh, those are those things
that old people use
265
00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:04,083
at the beach,
where they, like, go around
266
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:06,052
with the headphones
and listen for beeps
267
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,822
and try to find, like, pirate
treasure or something stupid.
268
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:13,525
Oh, yeah, yeah.
269
00:13:13,592 --> 00:13:15,662
There's usually something
wrong with the people
270
00:13:15,727 --> 00:13:17,663
who do that, you know?
271
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:20,432
There sure is.
272
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,336
- What is that, some kind of,
like, turd or something?
273
00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:26,605
- Oh, no, no, no!
274
00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:28,475
- Uh.
275
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,643
It's just a dime.
276
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:31,811
- Oh, really?
277
00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:34,246
How much is that worth?
278
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:36,615
- Uh, I bet he could sell
that thing
279
00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:38,350
for, like, ten cents.
280
00:13:40,019 --> 00:13:41,931
- Boy, they sure are getting
excited over ten cents,
281
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:43,722
you know?
282
00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:45,758
- She's gonna masturbate to it.
283
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,841
- All right, I got that Barber
by these sycamores,
284
00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:54,267
and Doug came over.
285
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:58,105
- He's like,
"Ooh, Doug, another turd."
286
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,773
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hmm, yeah.
287
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,075
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
288
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,912
Look, it's a useless
piece of crap.
289
00:14:04,977 --> 00:14:07,246
- What a beautiful design
on that buckle.
290
00:14:07,313 --> 00:14:09,649
- What'd he say? It's a buckle?
291
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:10,984
- Yeah.
292
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,452
Hundreds of years ago
before there was YouTube,
293
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,322
people used these things
to bore other people.
294
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:20,860
- Yeah, and it still works.
Yeah.
295
00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:22,428
- All right, we brushed off...
296
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:25,331
- Whoa, look, Doug is fiddling
with his schlong, look.
297
00:14:26,798 --> 00:14:28,768
- Yeah, that's Doug's buckle
'cause he just undid
298
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,504
his pants to play with himself.
299
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,451
- All right, I'm on
the other side of this tree,
300
00:14:33,505 --> 00:14:34,908
these two sister trees.
301
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,808
- Sister trees?
302
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:38,745
- Trees can be girls?
303
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:41,548
I thought they were all dudes,
yeah.
304
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:44,051
You know, because, um... 'cause
they have a crotch, you know?
305
00:14:44,116 --> 00:14:45,317
- About the same size.
306
00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:47,486
And I think they
predate the house.
307
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,489
- The sister trees
are dating the house?
308
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,024
- Maybe the house will score
with both of them.
309
00:14:52,091 --> 00:14:54,894
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
310
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:57,096
Doug's getting them
all worked up.
311
00:14:57,163 --> 00:15:00,500
- He just yelled
that he got something cool.
312
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,835
And okay.
313
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,172
- Wait a minute.
314
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,807
The word "cool" means
something's good, right?
315
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,308
Like, it's cool?
316
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:10,809
- Yeah.
317
00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:13,745
There's nothing cool about that.
318
00:15:13,812 --> 00:15:16,249
- I mean, I used to eat my toy
Hot Wheels and Tonka Trucks
319
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:17,616
and poop them out all the time,
320
00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:19,162
but I didn't go show it off,
you know,
321
00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:21,421
and, like, make videos
and stuff, you know?
322
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,758
Come back when you got
half a LEGO pirate ship
323
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:28,161
floating in the toilet,
you know?
324
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:30,998
Now, that, I showed people.
I did do that. Yeah.
325
00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:32,432
Yeah.
326
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:35,434
The teacher said you
ruined third grade.
327
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,871
And then he retired.
328
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:44,110
- Oh, yeah.
329
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,013
- All right, Doug, nice find,
330
00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:47,547
clad quarter,
eagle back at least.
331
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:50,182
- I hate it when people
come into Burger World
332
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:53,753
and they try to pay cash
with a bunch of coins.
333
00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:55,322
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
334
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:58,289
Yeah, I can't tell one
of them from another, yeah.
335
00:15:58,357 --> 00:16:00,092
I just put them in the register
336
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:02,062
and say, "Thank you very much."
337
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:03,730
"Drive through," yeah.
338
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,832
- I hate when anyone comes
into Burger World at all.
339
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:08,434
- Yeah, yeah, really.
340
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:09,802
Sometimes I just want to say,
341
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:11,538
"You know, I don't come
to where you work
342
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:13,740
"and, like, throw
a bunch of money around
343
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,908
"and demand French fries,
so don't do it here," yeah.
344
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:22,414
There sure is a big line.
345
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:25,152
- Everyone likes
pole dancers, Beavis,
346
00:16:25,217 --> 00:16:28,855
even these old perverts.
347
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:31,524
- Yeah, look
at all these freaks.
348
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,471
There oughta be a law,
you know what I'm saying?
349
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:38,398
- Good to see you young folks
at the polls.
350
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:39,765
Is this your first time?
351
00:16:39,831 --> 00:16:42,201
- Yeah, yeah, but, um...
But we've been interested
352
00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:44,870
in this stuff for a long time.
353
00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:48,140
- Yeah.
We're, like, really into it.
354
00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:49,908
- Well, good for you boys.
355
00:16:49,975 --> 00:16:51,943
I wasn't interested
in any of this stuff
356
00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:54,713
until Ronald Reagan.
357
00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:56,048
- Oh, yeah?
358
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:57,917
Is she a slut?
359
00:16:57,984 --> 00:16:59,686
- Yeah, yeah,
I bet Ronald Reagan
360
00:16:59,751 --> 00:17:02,188
has big hooters, yeah.
361
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:04,222
- I hope she's in there
shaking her butt.
362
00:17:04,289 --> 00:17:07,492
- Yeah, shake that ass,
Reagan, yeah.
363
00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:11,064
Show me what you're
working with, yeah.
364
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:13,799
Whoa.
365
00:17:13,865 --> 00:17:17,636
I guess we have to get past
the bouncers or something.
366
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,605
- Name and address, please?
367
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:22,275
- Uh, who are you?
368
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,777
- I'm Lorraine.
I'm a poll worker.
369
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,546
Whoa.
370
00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:28,480
- Oh, it's not here.
- I don't know why...
371
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,282
- Can you excuse me
just a second?
372
00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:31,660
- Look again.
I've been voting at this...
373
00:17:31,683 --> 00:17:33,195
- Well, she's a little older
than I thought,
374
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,122
but I won't complain.
375
00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:36,623
- Yeah, yeah.
376
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,425
Yeah, she must be a really good
pole dancer by now.
377
00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:40,960
Sweet Lorraine.
378
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:43,195
Back that thing up.
379
00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:45,198
- I'm tired of waiting, Beavis.
380
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,932
Let's go get up in the club.
381
00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:51,471
Uh.
382
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,105
Where are the strippers?
383
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,642
I don't see any poles either.
384
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:57,477
- They gotta be
around here somewhere.
385
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:02,481
- You just go right behind
that curtain there.
386
00:18:02,548 --> 00:18:03,915
- Whoa.
387
00:18:03,982 --> 00:18:07,354
Beavis, looks like we're
headed to the champagne room.
388
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,556
- Ooh, yeah.
389
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:13,460
I hope we get to see
Ronald Reagan shake that ass.
390
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,327
- Shake that ass.
391
00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:16,962
- Yeah.
392
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:26,239
- The champagne room, yeah.
393
00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:31,911
Um, Butt-Head, um,
there's no chicks in here.
394
00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:35,515
- Uh, they gotta be here soon.
395
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:38,285
- And I don't see a pole
either, Butt-Head.
396
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:41,153
- As long as there's chicks,
who cares about the pole?
397
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:44,123
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's true, yeah.
398
00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:47,294
Yeah, this is gonna be cool.
Yeah.
399
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:48,861
Oh, check it out. What's this?
400
00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:53,165
- Whoa, it's like
a pole dancer menu.
401
00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:56,435
- So many pole dancers
to choose from, look at that.
402
00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:59,338
- Uh, a lot of these are guys.
403
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,276
Bush.
404
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,511
- Yeah.
Yeah, I'm gonna order that one.
405
00:19:05,577 --> 00:19:07,646
Yeah. Ooh.
406
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:10,383
Here we go.
407
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:11,817
So now what?
408
00:19:15,954 --> 00:19:17,557
- Uh.
409
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:20,259
Go up there
and put it in the box.
410
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:23,095
I'll hold it down here
in case the strippers come.
411
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:32,572
- Just stick my menu in here.
Yeah.
412
00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:34,606
- And put some money
in there, dumbass.
413
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,509
Act like you know
what you're doing.
414
00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:37,743
- Oh, yeah.
415
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,181
Yeah, here we go.
416
00:19:43,782 --> 00:19:45,617
Just go ahead
and smooth this out a little.
417
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:47,487
Make it all nice
for the stripper, yeah.
418
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:50,957
Let's see what else I got here.
419
00:19:51,022 --> 00:19:53,726
Yeah, that'll seal the deal.
Yeah.
420
00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:57,263
Big money.
421
00:19:57,329 --> 00:19:59,398
- And now we just wait
for our order,
422
00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:01,166
just like Burger World.
423
00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:02,335
- Yeah, yeah.
424
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:03,502
Thank you. Drive through.
425
00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,337
Yeah.
426
00:20:08,674 --> 00:20:10,876
- Um, you've been
in there a long time.
427
00:20:10,942 --> 00:20:13,246
Do you need to see
a poll worker?
428
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,513
- Yeah, yeah.
429
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:15,923
Yeah, we've been waiting
to see a poll worker
430
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:17,384
for, like, 20 minutes.
431
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:21,153
- Yeah, tell her to hurry
the hell up already.
432
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,326
- Hello, you two.
433
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:29,695
- Uh, we didn't come here
for small talk.
434
00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:33,132
- Time to get down to business.
Yeah.
435
00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:36,067
- Did you fill out the ballot
slip and put it in the box?
436
00:20:36,134 --> 00:20:37,636
- We sure did.
437
00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:40,138
- Yeah, and now it's your turn.
438
00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:41,574
Come on, now.
439
00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,009
- So congratulations.
440
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,810
You successfully voted.
441
00:20:44,876 --> 00:20:47,314
- Um, we what?
442
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:50,148
- If you filled out your ballot
and then put it in that box,
443
00:20:50,215 --> 00:20:51,017
then you voted.
444
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,319
- Yeah, for a stripper.
445
00:20:53,385 --> 00:20:56,188
- Look, I didn't think she
was a great candidate either,
446
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,590
but she's better
than the one we've got.
447
00:20:58,657 --> 00:21:01,461
- Is this 'cause Beavis
didn't put in enough money?
448
00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:03,261
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, here.
449
00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:06,499
I was gonna save it
for your G-string, but, um...
450
00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:08,901
There she goes.
451
00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:13,339
- Well, that strip club sucked.
452
00:21:13,405 --> 00:21:14,405
- Yeah, yeah.
453
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:15,508
Yeah, I even made it rain
454
00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:17,443
with my last $1.50,
455
00:21:17,509 --> 00:21:19,311
and nothing happened.
456
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:24,784
Maybe we can try this place.
457
00:21:24,851 --> 00:21:26,519
- No way, Beavis.
458
00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:28,387
We're not falling
for that again.
459
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:30,856
Sorry, dumbasses.
460
00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:33,460
We, like, outsmarted you.
461
00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:34,594
- Yeah, really.
462
00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:36,261
How dumb do we look?
463
00:22:08,795 --> 00:22:10,061
- Chirp.
31905
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