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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:07,132 Good evening. I'm Tom Tucker with Channel 5 News. 2 00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:09,801 We now go live to Ollie Williams recapping the events 3 00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:11,845 of the last episode of Family Guy. 4 00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:13,889 - What happened last time, Ollie? - Stewie killed Lois! 5 00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:15,140 - Then what? - Peter got blamed! 6 00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:16,308 - Then what? - Peter went to court! 7 00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:17,434 - Then what? - Lois came back! 8 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:18,560 - How? - Wasn't really dead! 9 00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:20,729 Thanks, Ollie. And now part two. 10 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:28,070 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV 11 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:31,740 But where are those good old-fashioned values 12 00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:34,826 On which we used to rely? 13 00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:38,163 Lucky there's a family guy 14 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:41,333 Lucky there's a man who positively can do 15 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,960 All the things that make us 16 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,795 Laugh and cry! 17 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:49,883 He's a family guy! 18 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,975 Oh, Lois, sweetheart, I'm so glad you're alive! 19 00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,977 You got to tell me everything that happened. 20 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,770 I mean, not tonight 'cause I've got plans with the guys, 21 00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:03,438 but tomorrow night, I want to hear all about it. 22 00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:05,440 Peter, didn't you hear what I said? 23 00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:07,150 Stewie tried to kill me. 24 00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,111 Mom, Stewie's just a baby. 25 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,405 No, he's not, Meg. He's evil! 26 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:14,449 He shot me point-blank right on the deck of the cruise ship. 27 00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:38,015 I would have been dead if it hadn't beenfor a passing merman 28 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:41,935 who treated my wounds and carried me to safety. 29 00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:45,063 It sounds romantic, I know, but unfortunately, 30 00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:48,567 he was kind of a reverse of what you'd expect a merman to be. 31 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,527 I wish to make love to you. 32 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,905 Oh, uh... 33 00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:54,156 No, thank you. 34 00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:56,533 What are you talking about? I thought this was a woman's fantasy. 35 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,660 Yeah, but this is sort of the opposite. 36 00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:01,622 Like if you had a man's body and fish legs, 37 00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:02,873 then it'd be different. 38 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,291 Yeah, but then I wouldn't have a penis. 39 00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:05,709 - Well, but I... - See? There you go. 40 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,377 I just poked a huge hole in your logic. 41 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:10,506 I'm sorry. I'm just gonna have to say no. 42 00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:12,466 Maybe I feel like you owe me a little. 43 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:15,761 Ah! Damn it! 44 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:19,097 Unfortunately, I was suffering from total amnesia 45 00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:21,308 and had no idea who I was. 46 00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,227 After wandering around for a while, 47 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,854 I discovered I was in North Carolina, 48 00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:29,483 where I managed to get a job at a summer camp for fat kids. 49 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,196 It was my job to keep the children from eating each other. 50 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,949 Hey, hey! No! No, no, no, spit him out. 51 00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:39,785 Jeffrey, spit him out now! 52 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:42,371 And Mike, you spit out Timmy. 53 00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:46,458 Over the next several months, I developed a relationship 54 00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:49,586 with a seemingly nice, young townie named Derek. 55 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:54,299 Eventually, he got comfortable enough with me 56 00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:56,218 to introduce me to his friends. 57 00:02:58,554 --> 00:03:01,682 That's how I found out he was a white supremacist. 58 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:06,103 Okay, first order of business, uh, I'd like to thank Paul and Tracy, 59 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,772 who have agreed to bring cookies for next week's punch social. 60 00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:12,484 Just remember, you two, Fred is allergic to peanuts. 61 00:03:12,568 --> 00:03:14,736 Peanuts and Jews! 62 00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:17,739 No, but Jews are bad. 63 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:20,909 You know, it's remarks like that that started the Holocaust. 64 00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:23,620 And I know none of us want that to happen again. 65 00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:29,001 And after that blow to the head, it all started coming back to me. 66 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:32,629 So I rushed back to Quahog, and here I am. 67 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:36,466 So what you're saying is we've got a homicidal baby on our hands. 68 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,052 Mom, Dad! Stewie's gone! 69 00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:44,016 Don't worry, Lois. We'll catch him. 70 00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:49,688 Sorry to bother you, but we have a fugitive baby on our hands. 71 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,356 Have you seen this child? 72 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,108 No, I haven't, officer, 73 00:03:53,192 --> 00:03:54,985 but I sure will keep my eyes open. 74 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,069 What is it? 75 00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:59,072 That killer baby from the trial's gone missing. 76 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:02,326 - Oh, no! - I know! 77 00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:09,082 Mr. Superman no here. 78 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:10,501 Oh. Well, we're looking for a missing... 79 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:14,713 I... I... No. Mr. Superman... He no is here. 80 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:18,258 Yeah, okay, well, uh, can you just give him this flyer? 81 00:04:18,342 --> 00:04:20,844 I... No, no. 82 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,179 I have no money. 83 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,139 Just take this flyer and if you see this baby. 84 00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:26,183 No, no. 85 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,772 Boy, I sure hope They find him. Otherwise, we're all gonna be... 86 00:04:34,233 --> 00:04:36,944 So it's all out in the open now, isn't it? 87 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:40,864 Stewie, uh, how long you been all messed up and evil like this? 88 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,158 Oh, so now you're interested in Stewie. 89 00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:45,661 Last week when I made that macaroni picture of an owl, 90 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,663 - you didn't give a damn! - That was an owl? 91 00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,915 Yes, and now we're going to look at it again. 92 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,211 Look, look! Do you like it? 93 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,295 Yes. 94 00:04:55,379 --> 00:04:56,964 What do you like about it specifically? 95 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,048 I don't know. 96 00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,758 Pick something or I'll blow your brains out! 97 00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:02,636 I like how it looks like an owl. 98 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,263 Thank you for the compliment! 99 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:12,312 - Hey, everything okay in there? 100 00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:14,439 - I heard shouting. 101 00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:17,276 Dog, answer it. Tell him, "Yes, everything's fine." 102 00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,736 Yes, Joe, everything's fine. 103 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,196 Oh, okay, good. 104 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,531 Make fun of his wheelchair. 105 00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:23,615 - What? - What? 106 00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:26,034 Do it! Say, "Ha-ha-ha-ha, you're in a wheelchair." 107 00:05:26,118 --> 00:05:28,370 Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, you're in a wheelchair. 108 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:29,872 What's that supposed to mean? 109 00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:32,040 Say, "I bet you can't get a boner." 110 00:05:32,124 --> 00:05:33,709 I bet you can't get a boner. 111 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,377 That's not very nice, Brian. 112 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:36,587 "Neither is your mother's ass." 113 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,213 Neither is your mother's ass. 114 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:40,591 Well, I'll give you that one. 115 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,593 Now tell him you've always thought he was handsome. 116 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,553 I've always thought you were handsome. 117 00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:48,056 Well, I got to tell you, Brian, I'm relieved to hear you say that. 118 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,434 Please call me if you see any sign of Stewie. 119 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:53,145 Tell him, "Ha-ha-ha-ha, just kidding about the handsome thing." 120 00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:54,271 - Oh, come on. - Do it! 121 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,064 - Come on. That meant a lot to him. 122 00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:58,650 Ha-ha-ha-ha, just kidding about the handsome thing. 123 00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:03,238 Ah, well, that's, uh, disappointing. I needed that boost today. 124 00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:05,073 All right, I'll see you later. 125 00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:08,702 All right, Lois, I'm hungry. 126 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,579 Take those breasts out. 127 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,124 Wait a minute. You could have drugged this. 128 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,209 Well, I'm no fool. 129 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,502 - Brian, taste this. - What? 130 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:19,004 Go on. Taste it! You're the guinea pig! 131 00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:20,172 Lois, he's got a gun. 132 00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:22,424 Look, I'll do it myself. How about that? 133 00:06:22,508 --> 00:06:26,136 Uh, I don't know. He kind of asked me. I think we should do what he says. 134 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,930 Well, yeah, but Brian... 135 00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:29,640 I'm... I'm totally willing to do this for the family. 136 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,975 - I'm not sure... - I'll do it. 137 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:33,519 Hey, Griffins, just checking in. 138 00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,396 - Holy crap! - Oh, my God! 139 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:42,194 Stewie, you killed him! He's dead! 140 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:44,947 Oh, my God! Oh, my God. What are we gonna do? 141 00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:46,406 Oh, poor Cleveland! 142 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:49,076 It's all right, Lois. He's in heaven now. 143 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:52,871 I don't understand why I need to give you a credit card imprint. 144 00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:54,706 It's kind of a new policy. 145 00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:56,667 I didn't see you ask the guy in front of me. 146 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,460 It's kind of brand-new. 147 00:06:58,794 --> 00:07:00,170 Do you have a credit card? 148 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:01,755 I got a Sears card. 149 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:04,341 Ah, they're doing pretty well, huh? 150 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:07,845 One by my house got a McDonald's right in the store. 151 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:11,056 Won't be long before the police notice Cleveland's disappearance. 152 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:12,474 Black man gone missing? 153 00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:14,351 My God, the media will be all over that. 154 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,771 All right, if I see any cops following me, the dog gets it. 155 00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:23,819 Get in. Come on! Drive! Drive! Drive! 156 00:07:26,697 --> 00:07:29,283 Ooh, there's Joe. Say, "Joe, I think you're cool." 157 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:30,993 Joe, I think you're cool. 158 00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,786 Well, thank you, Brian. 159 00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:35,372 That's gonna get me through the rest of this yard work. 160 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,498 "No, just kidding. You suck." 161 00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,000 No, just kidding. You suck. 162 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:39,334 - "Queer." - Queer. 163 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,130 Ah, well, there goes my smile. 164 00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:48,969 You know, you're not gonna get away with this. 165 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:51,597 Kidnapping me is one thing, but you killed Cleveland. 166 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,932 You forget I'm the one holding the gun, Brian, 167 00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:56,101 and you're gonna do exactly as I say. 168 00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:57,936 You mind if I ask where we're going? 169 00:07:58,020 --> 00:08:00,063 You'll know soon enough, Brian. 170 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,274 The world will know soon enough. 171 00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:05,277 I'll be as big as I should have been when I was on American Idol. 172 00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:07,988 I don't mind not knowing 173 00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,949 What I'm headed for 174 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:15,829 You can take me to the skies 175 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:21,251 It's like being lost in heaven 176 00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:27,132 When I'm lost in your eyes 177 00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:30,552 Stewie, what the hell was that? 178 00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:32,888 That was Lost in Your Eyes by Debbie Gibson. 179 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,265 - One of the worst I've ever heard. - Okay. 180 00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:38,435 Stewie, you shouldn't actually even be alive, 181 00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,145 you sniveling little creep. 182 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:44,107 I hate you so much I want to shoot you in your face. 183 00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:46,360 - All right. - Honey, I like you, 184 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:49,029 but you're just not right for this competition. 185 00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:53,992 Yo, dawg, I got to tell you for me, man, that was not even half good, dude. 186 00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:56,370 You can't sing. What're you doing, Stewie? 187 00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:59,456 I don't even care! They don't know what they's talkin' 'bout! 188 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,042 Next time they hear 'bout me, they, they's gonna be, like, 189 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:05,587 "We was wrong about Stewie," 'cause... 'Cause I's gonna be huge. 190 00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:08,924 I... I is gonna be bigger than every one of all y'alls. 191 00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:14,054 Hey, hey, you know what we should do, guys, 192 00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,139 - while we're here tied up like this? - What? 193 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,392 We should come up with a totally bogus rumor 194 00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:19,601 about a celebrity. 195 00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:22,312 And then when we get outta here, we'll spread it around as much as we can. 196 00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:23,689 That sounds like fun. 197 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,607 Actually, that does sound like fun. 198 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:26,859 What'd you have in mind? 199 00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:28,986 Okay, okay, how about this? 200 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,488 Hey, did you guys hear about Rob Schneider? 201 00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:33,824 Somebody told me he goes down to Home Depot 202 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,618 and pays the migrant workers to go to his house 203 00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:38,287 and choke him in the shower. 204 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,914 I could buy that. That sounds like something he'd do. 205 00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:43,917 Well, I think that's awful that Rob Schneider does that. 206 00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:46,253 Yeah, isn't that a disgusting absolute fact? 207 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,589 Yay! We're starting a rumor! 208 00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:49,673 Wait a minute. 209 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,675 - Chris, are you clapping? - Yeah. 210 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,719 - So your hands are free? - Yeah. 211 00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:55,179 Stewie didn't tie up your hands? 212 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,847 No, he must have forgot. 213 00:09:56,930 --> 00:10:00,142 You realize we've been sitting here for 14 hours? 214 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:01,977 Well, get pissy if you want, Mom. 215 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,479 I've enjoyed the time we've had as a family. 216 00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:27,920 - What is it? What did you do? - You almost shot me, you son of a bitch! 217 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,004 That's because you yelled. 218 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,340 No, you shot the gun first. That's why I yelled. 219 00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:33,759 Oh. "That's why I yelled..." 220 00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:36,595 I'm watching you, buddy. 221 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,098 There's got to be some clue in here 222 00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:42,226 that'll tell us where Stewie might have gone. 223 00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:57,658 Wow! Look at all this cool stuff! 224 00:10:58,242 --> 00:11:00,494 Man, what do you think these things do? 225 00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:04,039 Huh! Guess it doesn't do anything. 226 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,457 Well, that seems odd. 227 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:09,419 Oh, my God! Peter, you're me! 228 00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,338 Holy crap! 229 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,131 Ah! Sweet! 230 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:21,890 Squeeze, squeeze. 231 00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,726 All right, pull in here. 232 00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,898 The CIA? What the hell are we doing here? 233 00:11:29,982 --> 00:11:33,026 You'll need CIA credentials, Brian. What do you want your alias to be? 234 00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:35,112 - What are you talking about? I'm not... - Pick a name for yourself! 235 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,905 - Willem Dafoe. - Ooh! Not that one. 236 00:11:36,989 --> 00:11:39,575 I used to have a Willem Dafoe living under my bed. 237 00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:45,163 Hey, you asleep yet? 238 00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:46,415 Uh... 239 00:11:46,999 --> 00:11:48,125 No. 240 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,043 Just checking. 241 00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:03,849 What, exactly, are you looking for? 242 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:05,267 According to my schematics, 243 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,103 it should be right in here. 244 00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:13,692 This is it, Brian! 245 00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:17,237 My plan for world domination is about to come to fruition. 246 00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:25,162 Stewie, for God's sake, they know we're here! What are you trying to do? 247 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,164 Once I locate the proper code sequence, 248 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,791 this terminal will allow me to take command of the satellites 249 00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,627 which control the world's power grid. 250 00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:33,086 Once they're under my control, 251 00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:35,589 the entire world will be subject to my whims. 252 00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:41,512 Go away, you paper clip! No one likes you! 253 00:12:41,887 --> 00:12:44,723 Open up in there or we're breaking down the door! 254 00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:56,318 I love you, Katie. 255 00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,070 I love you, too, Tom. 256 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:00,822 Oh, my God! 257 00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:02,115 I'm free! 258 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:09,039 The force field is down! Go now! 259 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:13,585 I'd drop the gun if I were you, Joe. 260 00:13:13,669 --> 00:13:14,878 What? It's Stan. 261 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:17,005 Oh. Sorry, You look sorta like someone from... 262 00:13:17,089 --> 00:13:18,715 Anyway, I'd drop the gun if I were you. 263 00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:21,468 I now control the entire planet's power grid, 264 00:13:21,552 --> 00:13:23,136 and unless you want me to send you all back 265 00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:26,431 to the Dark Ages, you'll do exactly as I say. 266 00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:29,059 What are your demands? 267 00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,232 We interrupt this program to bring you a special message 268 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,276 from the new president of the world. 269 00:13:37,359 --> 00:13:39,361 Greetings, loyal minions. 270 00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:41,029 Stewie? 271 00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:43,073 - Oh, my God! - What the hell? 272 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,492 - Good gravy! - Señor Rob Schneider! 273 00:13:45,576 --> 00:13:46,785 You must come see the news! 274 00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:50,372 I'm not paying you guys to watch TV. Now, get in the damn shower! 275 00:13:57,421 --> 00:14:00,340 Brian, come here. I want you to hear my presidential address 276 00:14:00,424 --> 00:14:01,592 for Saint Rupert's Day. 277 00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:04,094 I'm unveiling all the new laws I've passed. 278 00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:07,431 Screw off. I don't want anything to do with you or your damn laws. 279 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,932 Oh, just take a look, will you? 280 00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:13,478 You're banning straight-to-video Disney films? 281 00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:15,272 Absolutely. I mean, look at this. 282 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:18,984 Jafar May Need Glasses. 283 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:22,613 Number one. Number two. 284 00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,489 Um... 285 00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:27,576 Number one. Number two. 286 00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:31,663 Um... about the same. Number one might be a tiny bit better. 287 00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:34,374 Number three. Number four. 288 00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:35,959 Number three. 289 00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:38,879 Five and six. 290 00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:41,924 Oh... 291 00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:44,510 Five and six. 292 00:14:45,469 --> 00:14:47,554 Uh... 293 00:14:47,763 --> 00:14:48,764 About the same? 294 00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:51,725 Yeah. They're pretty much... Can I see five one more time? 295 00:14:52,476 --> 00:14:55,103 Five and six. 296 00:14:55,187 --> 00:14:56,605 Yeah, they're about the same. 297 00:14:59,483 --> 00:15:01,568 Greetings, unwashed masses. 298 00:15:01,652 --> 00:15:04,488 The following laws will go into effect immediately. 299 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,782 From this day forward, all the nation's milk 300 00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:09,201 must come from Hilary Swank's breasts. 301 00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:11,453 Hey, I don't give a damn what you want! 302 00:15:11,537 --> 00:15:13,330 Just get the hell off of my property! 303 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,041 Look, Hilary, all I know is it's breakfast time, 304 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:19,127 I've got this bowl of Corn Flakes, and I gotta be at work at nine o'clock. 305 00:15:19,211 --> 00:15:20,295 So what are we going to do here? 306 00:15:20,379 --> 00:15:21,588 Not so fast. 307 00:15:21,672 --> 00:15:24,508 Did you know you'd have to eat 17 bowls of those Corn Flakes 308 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,928 to get the same nutritional value in one bowl of Total? 309 00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:30,931 Say, that's a lot easier than eating 17 bowls. 310 00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:32,766 And it's easier on my breasts! 311 00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:35,185 - Everybody wins! 312 00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:38,981 CHORUS:Hilary Swank Get your milk from her 313 00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:40,274 Yeah! 314 00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:43,527 Also, as I've had quite enough of the fat man, 315 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,697 anyone who sees Peter Griffin must throw apples at him. 316 00:15:47,406 --> 00:15:49,408 Uh, yeah, I'd like to make a deposit. 317 00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:51,493 - What the hell? - It's the law, sir. 318 00:15:51,577 --> 00:15:55,122 And, finally, anyone who uses the terms "irregardless," 319 00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:59,877 "a whole 'nother" or "all of the sudden" shall be sent to a work camp. 320 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,628 That is enough! 321 00:16:01,712 --> 00:16:03,714 Peter, I am not gonna stand by 322 00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,717 while other people suffer at the hands of my own baby. 323 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:11,263 I brought Stewie into this world. It's time for me to take him out! 324 00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:12,890 How the hell are you gonna do that? 325 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,099 Sorry, Dad! 326 00:16:14,183 --> 00:16:17,394 That's okay, Chris. You're a good boy, following the law. 327 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:20,606 But you, Meg, you're going to jail. 328 00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:37,664 All right, Peter. I'm going to kill Stewie. 329 00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:41,793 Dinner's in the oven. All you have to do is turn it to 350 at about 5:15. 330 00:16:41,877 --> 00:16:42,961 Yeah, okay, Lois. 331 00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:44,129 - Are you listening? - Yeah. 332 00:16:44,213 --> 00:16:45,214 What did I just say? 333 00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:47,508 Turn the oven to 350 at 5:15. I heard it! 334 00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:52,596 All right, sir. Your presidential portrait is finished. 335 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:53,680 Let me see. 336 00:16:54,765 --> 00:16:56,099 Ah! Excellent. 337 00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:58,352 Much better than the one Gary Larson did. 338 00:17:00,229 --> 00:17:02,356 Why would I even be talking to a chicken? 339 00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:07,819 Lois! 340 00:17:07,903 --> 00:17:11,198 Stewie, your reign of terror has come to an end! 341 00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:14,993 I will not stand by while you make innocent people suffer! 342 00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,328 Bring it on, bitch! 343 00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:18,539 Time for me to finish what I started anyway. 344 00:18:53,509 --> 00:18:59,264 Go ahead, Lois. Do it. Shoot me. Shoot your little baby Stewie. 345 00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:07,773 I can't do it. 346 00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:11,401 You're a terrible, evil child, but you're still my baby, 347 00:19:11,485 --> 00:19:14,029 and I could never hurt you. 348 00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:16,490 Well, that works out perfectly because I can hurt you! 349 00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:18,450 Say hi to Cleveland for me. 350 00:19:18,534 --> 00:19:19,535 Oh, and Mr. Weed. 351 00:19:29,378 --> 00:19:32,005 It's just been revoked! 352 00:19:32,089 --> 00:19:35,259 Uh, Peter, he didn't really set you up for that Lethal Weapon line. 353 00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:37,678 - It doesn't really work here. - Oh. 354 00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:40,639 I'll have what she's having! 355 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,975 That's better? 356 00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:07,249 Hey, Stewie, we got a postcard from Peter and Lois on the cruise. 357 00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:09,793 - What are you doing? - Oh, hello, Brian. 358 00:20:09,877 --> 00:20:11,128 Well, you recall my complaining 359 00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:13,589 about Lois and the fat man not taking me with them? 360 00:20:13,672 --> 00:20:15,007 - Yeah. - Yes. Well, you said 361 00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:18,510 I didn't have it in me to kill Lois, so I was just running a simulation 362 00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:20,262 to find out exactly how killing her 363 00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:22,097 and taking over the world would play out for me. 364 00:20:22,181 --> 00:20:23,390 Yeah? How did that go? 365 00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:26,018 Not well, Brian. Not well. 366 00:20:26,101 --> 00:20:30,898 I suppose I'm not ready to kill Lois or take over the world yet. 367 00:20:30,981 --> 00:20:34,568 So, what you're saying is that what you experienced in the simulation 368 00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:37,237 - didn't really happen or even matter. - Yes. That's correct. 369 00:20:37,321 --> 00:20:40,866 - So it was sort of like a dream. - No. It was a simulation. 370 00:20:40,949 --> 00:20:43,660 Yes, but theoretically, if someone watched the events 371 00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:45,662 of that simulation from start to finish, 372 00:20:45,746 --> 00:20:48,415 only to find out that none of it really happened, 373 00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:52,794 I mean, you don't think that would be just like a giant middle finger to them? 374 00:20:52,878 --> 00:20:55,547 Well, hopefully, they would have enjoyed the ride. 375 00:20:55,631 --> 00:20:58,926 I don't know, man. I think you'd piss a lot of people off that way. 376 00:20:59,009 --> 00:21:01,136 Well, at least it didn't end like The Sopranos, 377 00:21:01,220 --> 00:21:02,804 where it just cut to black in midsent... 29316

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