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1
00:00:16,181 --> 00:00:18,642
The Yankees will be riding in
any day now, Pablo.
2
00:00:18,642 --> 00:00:21,312
Why is this dig taking so long?!
3
00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:25,774
Well, General. It's your daughter.
The men find her...
4
00:00:29,027 --> 00:00:29,988
Distracting.
5
00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:32,657
They think she may be
a descendent of El Diablo!
6
00:00:32,657 --> 00:00:35,534
The black clothes? The white make up?
7
00:00:35,534 --> 00:00:40,372
Hey! I know it's a wild look for 1846
but that could be a popular style one day!
8
00:00:40,372 --> 00:00:42,667
When the time comes, she'll fit right in.
9
00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:45,712
Señor Pablo! Señor Pablo,
we found something!
10
00:00:58,807 --> 00:01:00,685
The golden chalice!
11
00:01:12,196 --> 00:01:16,742
Careful, General! These walls flow
with evil you can't imagine!
12
00:01:17,242 --> 00:01:19,829
This is the Ancient Wall of Colo-Colo.
13
00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:23,373
It tells the history of the chalice
and its true power.
14
00:01:23,373 --> 00:01:25,459
We'll need to decipher this first.
15
00:01:25,459 --> 00:01:29,087
The ancient architects
did everything to ensure
16
00:01:29,087 --> 00:01:32,132
nobody could escape with the chalice!
17
00:01:32,132 --> 00:01:35,052
If we touch it, we'll all die.
18
00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:38,263
Raven! No!
19
00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:46,940
Raven!
20
00:01:49,358 --> 00:01:50,568
Raven!
21
00:02:21,515 --> 00:02:24,018
{\an8}So as you all know, my nephew
Blake is still pretty sick,
22
00:02:24,351 --> 00:02:26,603
{\an8}and now his mother can
no longer pay for his treatment.
23
00:02:27,062 --> 00:02:28,689
{\an8}I'm late.
24
00:02:33,944 --> 00:02:35,070
{\an8}Anyway, I started a website
25
00:02:35,070 --> 00:02:37,197
{\an8}where you can easily make
a contribution of any size...
26
00:02:37,197 --> 00:02:38,741
{\an8}Oh, what? My outfit?
27
00:02:42,912 --> 00:02:45,331
Alright, if you're gonna hassle me
about it I'll spill the beans.
28
00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:47,291
You're no longer looking at Stebe Hornsby.
29
00:02:47,291 --> 00:02:48,918
You're looking at Showbiz Stebe Hornsby.
30
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:51,044
'Cause I just landed the biggest
brand integration deal
31
00:02:51,044 --> 00:02:53,381
in our company's history.
This fall, Royal Crackers
32
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,799
will be featured
on an episode of "Casa De Papa,"
33
00:02:55,799 --> 00:02:57,677
the biggest sitcom in Latin America.
34
00:02:57,677 --> 00:03:00,346
We Hornsbys have been invited
to watch the live studio taping
35
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:01,888
in beautiful, sunny...
36
00:03:01,888 --> 00:03:03,057
Burbank.
37
00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:05,393
Burbank?! The mecca of show business?!
38
00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:07,102
- Surely you jest.
- I'm so jealous right now.
39
00:03:07,561 --> 00:03:08,645
Stebe! We've been dreaming
40
00:03:08,645 --> 00:03:11,399
about a Burbank vacation
since we were teenagers!
41
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:15,152
But, one day, life takes over,
and suddenly it's not so easy
42
00:03:15,152 --> 00:03:18,114
to hop onto I-5
and cruise on down to the 'Bank.
43
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:20,532
Look, don't wanna brag,
but unlike you civilians,
44
00:03:20,532 --> 00:03:21,951
I've been to Burbank.
45
00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:23,620
And even if Stebe is a super-cool
46
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,705
Hollywood producer now,
we can't roll into that place
47
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:28,248
driving that rust bucket of ours.
We'll be laughed at.
48
00:03:28,248 --> 00:03:30,667
This is Jay Leno country
we're talking about here.
49
00:03:30,667 --> 00:03:31,794
- He's right.
- Yeah.
50
00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:33,629
Ooh. Why don't we rent a car, Stebe?
51
00:03:33,629 --> 00:03:34,797
Like a Hummer.
52
00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:36,549
Then we can fit the whole family.
53
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:39,009
You, me, Theo, Matt, our luggage,
54
00:03:39,009 --> 00:03:40,177
your dad.
55
00:03:40,177 --> 00:03:44,557
Don't you think he'd want to see his son
become the new Harvey Weinstein?
56
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:47,351
Hey. My cousin Ray is the
manager down at Rent-A-Whip.
57
00:03:47,351 --> 00:03:49,144
He can give us a great deal on a Hummer.
58
00:03:49,144 --> 00:03:50,563
Let me take care of it.
59
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:53,440
Well... was gonna have Pacino
drop off the private jet
60
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,275
but I guess I can call it off.
61
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:59,155
- Our resident court jester over here.
- Oh, Stebe.
62
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,158
Where's Darby with his Hummer?
63
00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:04,660
I swear to God if we don't get
there before the IKEA closes,
64
00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:05,786
I'm gonna lose my shit.
65
00:04:05,786 --> 00:04:07,413
It's been over 9 minutes.
66
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:08,664
Should we call the police?
67
00:04:08,664 --> 00:04:10,959
Have you lost your mind?
Don't even talk like that.
68
00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:12,250
You know the rule in this family...
69
00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:13,920
No cops... ever.
70
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,674
Hey, there he is.
71
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:27,767
Darby, what is this?
72
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,185
Where's the Hummer, Darby?
73
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:31,729
I got to thinking.
A Hummer is nice and all.
74
00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:33,063
But I seem to remember you boys
75
00:04:33,063 --> 00:04:35,441
telling me about a certain car
you've been dreaming
76
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,567
about since you were dick high...
77
00:04:37,567 --> 00:04:41,114
a 1996 Dodge Viper.
78
00:04:41,822 --> 00:04:43,448
Darby, that's a Saturn.
79
00:04:44,282 --> 00:04:46,536
- No, it's not.
- That's definitely a Saturn.
80
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,704
It says "Saturn" on it. No, it...
81
00:04:48,704 --> 00:04:50,789
Th... This is the Viper
you've always wanted.
82
00:04:50,789 --> 00:04:51,915
It's not, Darby.
83
00:04:51,915 --> 00:04:54,752
Our dream car is a red '96 Dodge Viper.
84
00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:57,587
The one that was offered
as a McDonald's Monopoly prize in '95.
85
00:04:57,587 --> 00:05:01,009
We spent an entire summer trying to find
that goddamn Atlantic Avenue piece.
86
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,011
Only to find out that
the whole game was scammed
87
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,470
by some asshole in Florida,
88
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:07,056
as explained in the documentary
"Super Size Me."
89
00:05:07,931 --> 00:05:08,974
My brother's right.
90
00:05:08,974 --> 00:05:10,559
Except he's citing the wrong documentary.
91
00:05:10,559 --> 00:05:13,937
He's thinking of "McMillions" on HBO Max.
92
00:05:13,937 --> 00:05:15,940
We shoved fast food down our fat gullets
93
00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:17,942
every single day trying to win that car.
94
00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:20,862
You have any idea what kinda toll that
takes on the human body, Darby?
95
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,863
Watch "Super Size Me" to find out.
96
00:05:22,863 --> 00:05:24,866
The point of the Hummer
was that our luggage
97
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:26,743
and the whole family could fit.
98
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,953
Now someone has to stay here.
99
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:31,164
You may have caused a suicide here.
100
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,540
You do realize that, don't you?
101
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,959
You know what, Darb? Now that my father
has to miss out on Burbank,
102
00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:36,919
you're gonna take care of him
and the house.
103
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:40,213
There better not be as much as a scratch
on his dick when we get back.
104
00:05:40,213 --> 00:05:41,591
Or the house.
105
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:45,343
Theo, it... it kinda means the world to me
that Dad comes on the trip.
106
00:05:45,343 --> 00:05:46,511
I love you,
107
00:05:46,511 --> 00:05:50,141
but can you maybe skip
Burbank this weekend?
108
00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:51,309
Please?
109
00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:53,560
- For me?
- That depends.
110
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,021
Can you handle coming home
to my shit-covered corpse
111
00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:57,397
hanging in your bedroom?
112
00:05:57,397 --> 00:05:59,859
Bye. Have a good trip.
113
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,488
Well, Theodore,
looks like we're in for another one
114
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:06,281
of our classic fuckboy weekends.
115
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:19,377
{\an8}Wish I could go back to '95
and pull that off.
116
00:06:31,681 --> 00:06:35,018
Oh, my God, that's the soundstage
for "Straight Goofin.'"
117
00:06:35,018 --> 00:06:36,770
And there's "Just in the Knick of Tim."
118
00:06:36,770 --> 00:06:38,940
Um, I could get used to this.
119
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:43,360
This is hard to explain, but...
I feel like I was always meant to be here,
120
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,570
like I'm finally home.
121
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:47,781
Excuse me. You lost?
122
00:06:47,781 --> 00:06:49,242
We didn't do anything.
123
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,077
We thought about going
on the set of "Bar Buddies"
124
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:53,203
to take a picture
as though it was a real bar,
125
00:06:53,203 --> 00:06:54,746
but then keen-eyed fans of the show
126
00:06:54,746 --> 00:06:56,541
would see that we were actually
on the set of "Bar Buddies."
127
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,416
But we didn't. We didn't do that.
128
00:06:58,416 --> 00:06:59,626
I swear to God we didn't.
129
00:06:59,626 --> 00:07:01,254
Wait a minute.
130
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,922
I recognize that voice.
131
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,466
You are Stebe Hornsby, yes?
132
00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:08,344
Yeah. That's right. Who's askin', Jack?
133
00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:11,597
Señor Hornsby, it's me.
134
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:13,766
Juan-Carlos Pozole.
135
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:16,268
Executive producer on "Casa De Papa."
136
00:07:16,268 --> 00:07:17,686
We met over Zoom, remember?
137
00:07:17,686 --> 00:07:19,814
Oh. How's it going, Mr. Pozole?
138
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,649
Call me Juan-Carlos.
139
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:24,235
Listen, I'm on my way
to the set right now.
140
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,654
Why don't you hop on?
And I'll drive you there.
141
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,323
Delete the "Bar Buddies" pics...
142
00:07:30,323 --> 00:07:31,575
immediately.
143
00:07:33,201 --> 00:07:35,996
Ha. Well, we're off to a fantastic start.
144
00:07:35,996 --> 00:07:40,460
Remember this? I did this little number
at the company Christmas party last year,
145
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:44,421
and everyone got so freaked out
they put me on medical leave for a month.
146
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,172
Ha ha!
147
00:07:48,049 --> 00:07:50,636
Joey, there's a full dance crew
tearing it up in there.
148
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,679
What? The house was supposed to be empty.
149
00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:57,560
Ah, man, maybe we should leave.
I don't wanna go back to jail.
150
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,812
I-I mean, how do we know
the chalice is even in there?
151
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,856
What if this Theo guy
took it with him to Burbank?
152
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,064
Not a chance.
153
00:08:03,064 --> 00:08:04,775
You heard what The Traveler said.
154
00:08:04,775 --> 00:08:07,111
It only leaves his house
when he's on tour.
155
00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:09,030
Calls it his "Stage Cup."
156
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,656
Okay. And what do you want to do
157
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,616
about those five
phenomenal dancers in there?
158
00:08:12,616 --> 00:08:13,867
I don't know, Danny.
159
00:08:13,867 --> 00:08:16,245
But The Traveler gave us a job,
160
00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:19,457
and if we don't deliver,
there'll be hell to pay.
161
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:23,169
I ain't leaving here
without that golden chalice.
162
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,838
Then every wiseguy in Bakersfield's
163
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:30,800
gonna wanna hire The Earl Grey Bandits.
164
00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:46,524
Alright. Cut!
165
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:49,069
This is awesome.
166
00:08:49,069 --> 00:08:50,655
I don't even need to know Spanish
167
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,031
'cause the studio audience
tells me when to laugh.
168
00:08:53,031 --> 00:08:56,493
Hey, how are my V.I.P.s doing over here?
169
00:08:56,493 --> 00:08:58,037
You enjoying the show? Sure.
170
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,498
But what I'm not enjoying
is this cucumber water.
171
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,501
I specifically requested
half sparkling, half still.
172
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,251
This is all sparkling.
173
00:09:05,251 --> 00:09:06,920
My throat is on fire right now.
174
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:09,465
My sincerest apologies, Mr. Hornsby.
175
00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:11,676
I'll have my assistant bring you another.
176
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:15,596
Stebe, I want to jump
your freaking bones right now.
177
00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:18,182
Save it for the Burbank
Holiday Inn Jacuzzi, babe.
178
00:09:20,225 --> 00:09:21,267
Holy shit. There it is.
179
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:25,273
Ooooh. Logo facing out.
180
00:09:25,855 --> 00:09:27,316
Was part of the deal.
181
00:09:35,490 --> 00:09:37,743
Theo?! Deb?!
182
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,704
Can you help me in here?!
183
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,874
Hey, Danny. He's foolin' us.
184
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:45,375
There ain't nobody in there.
185
00:09:45,375 --> 00:09:46,752
Think about it, brain bath.
186
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,753
These people just took a trip to Burbank.
187
00:09:48,753 --> 00:09:51,256
That means they're showbiz royalty.
188
00:09:51,256 --> 00:09:53,341
Probably got access
to holograms to make it
189
00:09:53,341 --> 00:09:56,012
look like there was
a dance party going on.
190
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,930
The guy in there? He's scared.
191
00:09:57,930 --> 00:10:01,182
And he's all alone.
192
00:10:01,182 --> 00:10:03,060
We pull this off and play our cards right,
193
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:06,147
maybe one day, we'll be able
to drive down to Burbank.
194
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,067
Theodore. I think
there's burglars outside.
195
00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:11,317
What do we do?
196
00:10:12,235 --> 00:10:13,988
Oh, no. No!
197
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,991
This is not the time for that
"no police" mentality of yours.
198
00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:19,659
These guys could be dangerous.
199
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:28,543
But I swore to you when you fell
into your sleep state
200
00:10:28,543 --> 00:10:31,714
that I'd always take care of
your family and keep them happy.
201
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,715
Well, I failed today.
202
00:10:33,715 --> 00:10:36,510
I made them sad by renting
that ugly-ass car from Rent-A-Whip.
203
00:10:37,510 --> 00:10:40,681
Fine. We'll defend this house ourselves.
204
00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:47,812
...Royal Crackers.
205
00:10:52,609 --> 00:10:53,568
Yuck!
206
00:10:59,657 --> 00:11:01,702
Oooooh! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
207
00:11:05,288 --> 00:11:06,624
Ohh!
208
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:16,216
Can't get enough, can you, Tío Pepe?
209
00:11:27,811 --> 00:11:29,896
Ay.
210
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,450
He must have eaten something earlier
that doesn't agree with him.
211
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:47,372
The Royal Crackers
are making me feel sick.
212
00:11:47,372 --> 00:11:49,166
What the hell? He speaks English now?
213
00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:50,543
Royal Crackers.
214
00:11:51,167 --> 00:11:52,253
Royal Crackers!
215
00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:53,920
Royal Crackers!
216
00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:15,817
Y'all picked the wrong house today!
217
00:12:24,242 --> 00:12:25,201
Showtime.
218
00:12:26,452 --> 00:12:27,955
Steps feel a little sticky.
219
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,674
Come and get me, losers.
220
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,187
I don't have any more plans.
221
00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:04,407
Uh, excuse me. Mr. Pozole?
222
00:13:04,407 --> 00:13:06,492
Hey, hey. Señor Hornsby.
223
00:13:06,492 --> 00:13:08,496
The water was not too sparkly, I hope?
224
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:11,456
The water was always delicious.
I was just trying to impress my wife.
225
00:13:11,456 --> 00:13:13,374
The problem is that you've got
a character sick and in pain
226
00:13:13,374 --> 00:13:14,919
because he ate my father's crackers.
227
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:17,254
I know it does not look good
right now, but I promise...
228
00:13:17,712 --> 00:13:21,175
You'll be very happy
with how the story wraps up.
229
00:13:21,758 --> 00:13:22,968
Ay. Ay.
230
00:13:23,426 --> 00:13:25,511
Okay, thank you, Mr. Pozole.
231
00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:28,890
Ay, gracias. Ay, gracias.
232
00:13:38,316 --> 00:13:39,568
Hey, be careful!
233
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:42,570
I got Deb that Venetian cabinet
for her birthday.
234
00:13:42,570 --> 00:13:44,365
Joey, I've gone through
the TainT guy's room
235
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:45,908
three times now. It ain't in there.
236
00:13:46,241 --> 00:13:47,326
God damn it!
237
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:52,372
Hey, man. Those are
100% cotton king-sized pillows.
238
00:13:52,372 --> 00:13:55,459
Stebe gets groggy if he sleeps
on anything else.
239
00:13:56,877 --> 00:14:00,213
Oh, don't even get me
started on Theo's jack towels.
240
00:14:00,588 --> 00:14:03,049
Hey, hey. No. You don't wanna go in there.
241
00:14:03,049 --> 00:14:04,092
Trust me.
242
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:07,680
Hey, you
Hey, you
243
00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:17,146
Hey, you
Hey, you
244
00:14:18,189 --> 00:14:20,442
- What was in there?
- Huh? Nothing.
245
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,820
I don't wanna talk about it.
246
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,113
Hey, I tried to warn you, dude.
247
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:25,363
Alright, I give up.
248
00:14:25,363 --> 00:14:27,699
The NuMetal guy's goblet
with the ruby in it.
249
00:14:27,699 --> 00:14:29,743
- Where is it?
- Theo's Stage Cup?
250
00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:32,245
Ha. I know exactly where it is.
251
00:14:32,245 --> 00:14:35,415
But you can kiss my wrinkly nuts
if you think I'm gonna tell you.
252
00:14:35,415 --> 00:14:36,541
Watch it, pal.
253
00:14:36,541 --> 00:14:38,793
You're messing with the Earl Grey Bandits.
254
00:14:38,793 --> 00:14:40,086
It's The Traveler.
255
00:14:40,753 --> 00:14:42,005
She's here.
256
00:14:54,017 --> 00:14:55,435
Hey, the '90s called.
257
00:14:55,435 --> 00:14:56,769
They want their sensibilities back.
258
00:14:58,062 --> 00:14:59,189
I'm The Traveler.
259
00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:03,193
Years ago, I answered a casting call
to be an extra in TainT's music video
260
00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:06,029
for the song "Loose Lips"
off of their second album.
261
00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:09,782
That day, I wore the golden
chalice around my neck to look cool.
262
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:12,952
It looked so cool, in fact,
that during his performance,
263
00:15:12,952 --> 00:15:16,999
Theo Hornsby Jr. dove into the crowd
and ripped it right off my neck
264
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,292
so he could take a swig for the camera.
265
00:15:19,292 --> 00:15:20,544
And he never gave it back.
266
00:15:21,377 --> 00:15:24,590
I've traveled a long time
to get here, Darby Blarchardt.
267
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:27,843
So stop wasting any more of it and tell me
268
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:30,471
where the golden chalice of Colo-Colo is.
269
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,266
- Th... Third.
- What did you say?
270
00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:36,768
"Loose Lips" was off their third album.
271
00:15:36,768 --> 00:15:38,311
Poser!
272
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:40,063
Okay.
273
00:15:40,063 --> 00:15:42,066
We do this the fun way.
274
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,329
...horrible Royal Crackers.
275
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:30,531
Cut!
276
00:16:31,239 --> 00:16:32,407
Oh, that's it.
277
00:16:32,407 --> 00:16:33,616
Hey. Asshole.
278
00:16:33,616 --> 00:16:35,451
You said I was gonna be happy
with this ending.
279
00:16:35,451 --> 00:16:36,577
And I'm not happy.
280
00:16:36,577 --> 00:16:39,373
And I would know. I'm very
in touch with my emotions.
281
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:43,293
Stebe. You were upset
that the crackers were hurting Tío Pepe,
282
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:44,710
and now he is dead.
283
00:16:44,710 --> 00:16:47,089
Would you rather see the character suffer?
284
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,174
No. I wanna see him eat
the crackers and say,
285
00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,592
"Hey, these are pretty good."
286
00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:52,803
That'd be a great scene.
And I'm not even a writer.
287
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:55,597
Why are you being such
a whiny bitch about this, bro?
288
00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:58,516
There was nothing in the deal about a
character shitting himself to death
289
00:16:58,516 --> 00:17:00,644
after eating my father's
crackers, you dickhead.
290
00:17:08,401 --> 00:17:09,653
You ready to talk?
291
00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:11,739
Or do we need to take this up a notch?
292
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:16,285
Joey, go out to the van and grab
the "Garden State" soundtrack.
293
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,410
No! Enough!
294
00:17:17,410 --> 00:17:18,912
I'll tell you where it is.
295
00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:21,081
It's in the dishwasher downstairs.
296
00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:24,667
You... ran an ancient artifact
with magical powers
297
00:17:24,667 --> 00:17:26,336
through a dishwasher?
298
00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:28,212
Theo's never washed the damn thing.
299
00:17:28,212 --> 00:17:29,380
He could get sick.
300
00:17:31,466 --> 00:17:32,508
Here you go, boss.
301
00:17:33,050 --> 00:17:34,594
Pleasure doing business with you.
302
00:17:34,594 --> 00:17:36,346
Sorry I had to rough you up.
303
00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:38,807
Well, it might be a minute
before I can accept that.
304
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,602
The path to forgiveness
can be a long and windy road,
305
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:43,020
but you know what I've learned?
306
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:45,438
Forgiveness...
It's not for the other person.
307
00:17:45,438 --> 00:17:47,773
- It's for you.
- We'll be out of your way now.
308
00:17:47,773 --> 00:17:49,735
We just wanna leave you
with our calling card.
309
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:51,779
Calling card?
310
00:17:54,530 --> 00:17:55,991
Wh... No! No!
311
00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:58,284
Don't do it. No.
312
00:17:58,284 --> 00:18:00,454
Now you find out why they call us...
313
00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,831
Don't you do it, you sons of bitches!
314
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,833
...The Earl Grey Bandits.
315
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:09,797
Ha ha ha.
316
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:11,715
Yeah!
317
00:18:13,132 --> 00:18:14,425
No, no.
318
00:18:15,676 --> 00:18:16,929
No. No.
319
00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:20,348
You teabag me before you teabag Theodore.
320
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:22,101
You teabag me!
321
00:18:28,481 --> 00:18:29,608
Run!
322
00:18:31,317 --> 00:18:33,194
You teabag me!
323
00:18:35,446 --> 00:18:37,407
Mr. Hornsby. Don't go anywhere.
324
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:39,992
I'm getting that goddamn Stage Cup back.
325
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:08,522
How are you keeping steady
on those Rollerblades?
326
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:09,815
They got brakes, motherfucker.
327
00:19:26,122 --> 00:19:27,291
I think we lost him.
328
00:19:31,085 --> 00:19:32,628
Oh, no, you don't, bitch.
329
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:34,213
Mine!
330
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:45,559
Give. Me. My. Chalice.
331
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,332
Where the heck am I?
332
00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:16,298
Hey. Love those blades, man.
333
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,715
Hot.
334
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:22,595
The chalice warps you to the year 1995.
335
00:20:22,595 --> 00:20:24,056
Oh-ho-ho, Darby.
336
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,892
What kind of crazy junk
are we about to get into?
337
00:20:27,892 --> 00:20:29,727
Holy shit.
338
00:20:33,856 --> 00:20:36,026
I mean, I'm still not seeing
the problem, Stebe.
339
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:37,903
I thought that storyline was hilarious.
340
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:40,447
Like my man Rogan says, funny is funny.
341
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,282
Honey, you're looking at it all wrong.
342
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:44,159
"Casa De Papa" made Royal Crackers
343
00:20:44,159 --> 00:20:46,661
look like the greatest laxative
in the world.
344
00:20:46,661 --> 00:20:50,374
Do you know how many people suffer from
constipation on a day-to-day basis?
345
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:51,667
Not Latinos.
346
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:53,876
Those guys are shitting
constantly down there.
347
00:20:55,002 --> 00:20:56,171
I'm sorry, guys.
348
00:20:56,171 --> 00:20:58,339
But nothing is gonna cheer me up
for a long time.
349
00:21:05,930 --> 00:21:07,307
What the hell? It's the middle of June.
350
00:21:08,057 --> 00:21:10,601
Dad? That you under that bow?
351
00:21:10,601 --> 00:21:11,852
Hey, what's this?
352
00:21:18,734 --> 00:21:20,528
A '96 Dodge Viper!
353
00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:23,948
You did it, Darby. You really did it.
354
00:21:23,948 --> 00:21:25,867
Oh, Darby, you did it again.
355
00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:27,953
What did you get up to
while we were away, Darb?
356
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:30,162
Well, let's just say "McMillions"
357
00:21:30,162 --> 00:21:32,289
is one hell of a documentary.
358
00:21:42,383 --> 00:21:44,969
Darby?! Did you wash my Stage Cup?!
359
00:21:45,019 --> 00:21:49,569
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