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www.titlovi.com
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It is considered useful and
enlightening and therapeutic
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00:00:56,715 --> 00:00:59,785
to think about death
for a few minutes a day.
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00:01:01,987 --> 00:01:08,128
What actually happens to my physical
remains is of zero interest to me.
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00:01:09,129 --> 00:01:12,140
I don't want anybody seeing
my body, I don't want anybody...
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I don't want a party. "Reported dead."
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Unless it could provide
entertainment value to...
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I mean, in a perverse
or subversive way, you know.
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I mean, if you could throw me
into a wood chipper and punt...
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you know, spray me into
Harrods, you know, at, uh,
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00:01:29,748 --> 00:01:33,828
you know, middle of the rush
hour, that would be pretty epic.
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I wouldn't mind being remembered in that
way. ? One, two, three, four, five, six ?
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? Roadrunner, roadrunner ? ?
Going faster miles an hour ?
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? Gonna drive past the Stop &
Shop ? ? With the radio on ?
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? I'm in love with Massachusetts ? ?
And the neon when it's cold outside ?
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? And the highway when it's late
at night ? ? Got the radio on ?
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00:02:03,816 --> 00:02:09,931
? I'm like the roadrunner... ? What the
fuck am I doing here? �I shall explain.
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One minute I was standing
next to a deep fryer,
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and the next, I was watching
the sun set over the Sahara.
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00:02:18,231 --> 00:02:20,208
? I'm in love with
modern moonlight... ?
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00:02:20,333 --> 00:02:24,079
I realized that one thing
led directly to the other.
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00:02:24,204 --> 00:02:29,351
Had I not taken a dead-end dishwashing
job, I would not have become a cook.
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00:02:29,476 --> 00:02:34,022
Had I not become a cook, I
would never have become a chef.
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Had I not become a chef, I never would've
been able to fuck up so spectacularly.
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Had I not known what
it was like to really fuck up,
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that obnoxious but wildly
successful memoir I wrote
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wouldn't have been
half as interesting.
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? And I say roadrunner once, roadrunner
twice ? ? I'm in love with rock and roll ?
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? And I'll be out all night ?
? Roadrunner, that's right... ?
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00:02:57,437 --> 00:03:01,849
And I'm not gonna tell you here
how to live your life.
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00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:06,654
I'm just saying, I guess, that
I got very lucky. ? Radio on ?
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00:03:06,779 --> 00:03:11,692
? I got the AM ? - ? Radio on ? ? Got
the car, got the AM ? ? Radio on ?
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00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:15,030
? Got the AM sound ? ?
Got the ? - ? Radio on ?
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00:03:15,155 --> 00:03:18,833
? Got the rockin' modern
neon sound ? ? Radio on ?
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00:03:18,958 --> 00:03:21,735
? I got the car from Massachusetts
? ? Got the ? - ? Radio on ?
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? I got the power of Massachusetts ?
? When it's late at night ? ? Right ?
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? Bye-bye. ?
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00:03:32,272 --> 00:03:34,116
You're probably gonna
find out about it anyway,
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00:03:34,241 --> 00:03:38,886
so here's a little preemptive truth
telling. �There's no happy ending.
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He committed suicide, the fucking
asshole. �How are you gonna make this?
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00:03:42,815 --> 00:03:45,994
Is it... is this gonna... I mean...
�Of course what you want to talk about,
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00:03:46,119 --> 00:03:47,761
that's kind of where the gossip
goes, that's kind of...
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00:03:47,886 --> 00:03:51,799
But it's not really what you want to
make. �No, I want to make a film about
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00:03:51,924 --> 00:03:56,404
why he was... who he was. �You know.
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00:03:56,529 --> 00:04:03,234
I don't know. That's why I'm here. �Do you
know what I mean? �That's why I'm here.
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00:04:07,173 --> 00:04:11,953
Hi. This is Tony at Les Halles, 411 Park
Avenue South, for delivery Monday please.
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00:04:12,078 --> 00:04:16,992
I need one Spanish onion, one
loose carrot, two shallot unpeeled,
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00:04:17,117 --> 00:04:21,762
one case frozen fava bean
and one case miel de provence.
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00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,887
That'll do it. Thank you.
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00:04:28,595 --> 00:04:33,341
Where is my fucking fish?
�I would never be late.
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00:04:33,466 --> 00:04:38,446
My cooks would never be late.
�How can the fish guy be late?
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It's why all chefs are drunks.
�It's because we don't understand
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00:04:42,208 --> 00:04:45,045
why the world doesn't work
like our kitchens.
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00:04:53,653 --> 00:04:56,998
Oh, hold on. -If you guys are hun...
�It's just baba ghanoush. It's...
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I mean, it's not a very nice display,
I know Tony. -Cool. �Thanks, baby.
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00:05:00,993 --> 00:05:05,373
What would you like? -Um... �Apple
juice. -Apple juice? Apple juice?
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00:05:05,498 --> 00:05:08,867
Or cranberry. I don't care.
Whatever we have more of.
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00:05:11,338 --> 00:05:13,406
Happiness is a fresh pack.
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00:05:15,375 --> 00:05:18,520
First thing in the morning. �I
mean, before I brush my teeth.
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00:05:18,645 --> 00:05:20,255
I mean, I roll out of bed,
light a cigarette,
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00:05:20,380 --> 00:05:24,915
stumble into this room, and, uh, I
start, uh, I start writing immediately.
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00:05:27,153 --> 00:05:30,223
I always use language
to get out of trouble.
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You know, I found at an early age, if
I made everybody in the class laugh,
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00:05:35,362 --> 00:05:40,275
that was power. I came from a
household with a lot of books.
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00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:44,012
In fact, the first book I remember reading
was a book called Why Johnny Can't Read,
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which I stole from my mother. �She
was anticipating that I would have
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00:05:48,308 --> 00:05:52,120
a difficulty reading because I was
already exhibiting antisocial tendencies.
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00:05:52,245 --> 00:05:55,290
Uh, I pinched the book and,
uh, basically taught myself
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00:05:55,415 --> 00:06:00,462
to read, uh, by kindergarten. And
then, you know, my early heroes
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00:06:00,587 --> 00:06:04,124
were, uh, musicians
and-and writers.
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00:06:05,225 --> 00:06:07,835
The idea that you could
have adventures,
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00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,372
no matter how antisocial,
and then make them
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00:06:10,497 --> 00:06:12,607
somehow legitimate by writing
something beautiful about them,
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00:06:12,732 --> 00:06:15,301
that concept took
an early hold on me.
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00:06:17,370 --> 00:06:22,150
I wasn't serious enough about anything
to actually do any writing until '93.
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00:06:22,275 --> 00:06:24,586
But, you know, when I was given
the opportunity, I did it,
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and, you know, kept doing it.
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The whole business
fills me with terror, frankly.
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Hey.
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00:06:50,503 --> 00:06:55,350
How are you doing, man? �You guys
know each other by now. -Yes.
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00:06:55,475 --> 00:06:57,544
Let me see if Rocco's over.
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00:06:59,345 --> 00:07:01,614
What was it about Tony
with big knives?
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00:07:03,015 --> 00:07:06,628
They were never sharp enough. �You
know, he's... he'd just always...
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00:07:06,753 --> 00:07:08,496
When he came over
for Thanksgiving, uh,
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00:07:08,621 --> 00:07:10,498
I was gonna carve the turkey,
and then he took over.
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00:07:10,623 --> 00:07:15,670
He was very short with me about how
I wasn't taking care of my knives.
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00:07:15,795 --> 00:07:20,631
Hey. -Tony saw you when you
were just born. �Remember that?
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00:07:21,301 --> 00:07:25,380
My relationship with Tony
has always been as a writer.
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00:07:25,505 --> 00:07:28,575
He was such a powerful writer
right from the start.
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00:07:30,210 --> 00:07:33,655
He was on business in Tokyo
for the first time.
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00:07:33,780 --> 00:07:40,628
And he was writing me a series of emails.
�He was back in his room, and he-he did
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one of those bursts.
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"The jet lag wouldn't let me sleep,
"so I crashed late and rose early,
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00:07:47,527 --> 00:07:50,405
"plunging blindly down
dark streets at all hours.
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00:07:50,530 --> 00:07:53,608
"The streets were unbelievably
dense with pedestrians,
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"people hanging around, flashing neon,
"flapping banners, more screaming signs,
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00:07:57,770 --> 00:08:01,015
"pimpy-looking young men in
suits and patent leather shoes
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00:08:01,140 --> 00:08:06,020
"surrounded by dye-blonde Asian women "in
thigh-high boots and micro-mini skirts.
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00:08:06,145 --> 00:08:11,259
"No one, and I mean no one, would
meet my eye "with a direct gaze.
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00:08:11,384 --> 00:08:13,695
"I was the quiet American,
the ugly American,
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00:08:13,820 --> 00:08:18,424
"the hungry ghost, searching and
searching for whatever came next."
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00:08:20,693 --> 00:08:26,741
I loved it. I loved it, and my wife
Karen, who was a book publisher,
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00:08:26,866 --> 00:08:32,313
was in the living room breastfeeding
the baby. �I printed out the email
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00:08:32,438 --> 00:08:37,218
and I went, "Karen, you have to
read this." �Am I allowed to curse?
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00:08:37,343 --> 00:08:40,388
Does anybody curse
when they talk about this?
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I read it and I just went, "That is
fucking awesome." �I was like, "Okay,
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I'm gonna make him an offer
basically he can't fucking refuse."
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00:08:51,791 --> 00:08:55,270
He came back and then we sat
down. �I said, "So Joel tells me,
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00:08:55,395 --> 00:08:58,206
you know, you have a lot of stories."
�And he goes, "I have so many stories.
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00:08:58,331 --> 00:09:01,042
I'm so excited to tell them." �He
said, "I already have a title for it."
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00:09:01,167 --> 00:09:03,645
I said, "What's the title?" �And
he said, "Kitchen Confidential."
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00:09:03,770 --> 00:09:05,280
And I said,
"I love it. Let's do it."
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00:09:05,405 --> 00:09:07,415
What do you think
about Tony Bourdain anyway?
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00:09:07,540 --> 00:09:11,475
Yeah, what do you think about
that guy? �He's cool. Huh?
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00:09:16,282 --> 00:09:21,095
It was like, "Will you write this book?"
"Yes." "Can you write it in eight months?"
116
00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:25,400
"You're damn right I will." You know,
you should talk to Tony's agent,
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00:09:25,525 --> 00:09:29,604
Kim Witherspoon. �I don't think
Tony was afraid of failure,
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00:09:29,729 --> 00:09:33,208
and that was hard-wired. �He was
the kind of person who thought,
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00:09:33,333 --> 00:09:36,611
"Well, you know, what the fuck? �Let's
just try it and see how it turns out."
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00:09:36,736 --> 00:09:38,713
Anthony Bourdain,
who has worked as a chef
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00:09:38,838 --> 00:09:41,649
for 28 years, reveals
some surprising and disturbing
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00:09:41,774 --> 00:09:46,521
trade secrets in a new bookcalled Kitchen
Confidential. Chef Anthony says the truth
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00:09:46,646 --> 00:09:48,122
about bread in a restaurant,
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00:09:48,247 --> 00:09:51,526
how you should prepare your meat when you
order it, and also the truth about fish
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00:09:51,651 --> 00:09:55,597
could make you sick. �I was in a cranky
mood after my last restaurant closed
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00:09:55,722 --> 00:09:59,200
and, uh, felt no reason
not to tell the truth about
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00:09:59,325 --> 00:10:02,629
a business I both love and,
uh, have mixed emotions about.
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00:10:03,529 --> 00:10:06,274
Kitchen Confidential is a memoir
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00:10:06,399 --> 00:10:09,677
of Tony's life in the kitchen
and the salty adventures
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00:10:09,802 --> 00:10:13,615
that he had with his cooks.
�It was kind of lawless.
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00:10:13,740 --> 00:10:16,551
You know, a lot was broken,
as Tony used to say.
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00:10:16,676 --> 00:10:21,422
Mr. Bourdain is the executive chef
at Les Halles. �He found success
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00:10:21,547 --> 00:10:24,726
and a full-blown heroin habit
at an early age.
134
00:10:24,851 --> 00:10:28,296
I had a dope problem,
a cocaine problem,
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00:10:28,421 --> 00:10:31,591
but by '88, I pretty much
cleaned up my act.
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00:10:34,327 --> 00:10:38,806
The dietary supplement that every chef
needs. �I take around ten of these a day.
137
00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:41,334
It's an aspirin/Tylenol mix.
138
00:10:45,705 --> 00:10:50,585
Call 'em crunchies. �Let me take you on a
notional joyride through our menu tonight.
139
00:10:50,710 --> 00:10:55,290
We have grilled salmon with
sorrel sauce. �Veal kidneys.
140
00:10:55,415 --> 00:10:57,358
These kidneys are
really good, by the way.
141
00:10:57,483 --> 00:11:00,461
Those of you into water sports
will find much to love.
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00:11:00,586 --> 00:11:02,730
From the first time
I met him, I remember thinking,
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00:11:02,855 --> 00:11:07,735
"Oh, wow, you're, like, tall and handsome
and funny. "But you're kind of a big nerd.
144
00:11:07,860 --> 00:11:10,605
"You're nerding out on everything,
and you're a little awkward",
145
00:11:10,730 --> 00:11:13,399
and I love that about him.
146
00:11:14,534 --> 00:11:16,912
"At Les Halles,
life goes on as always,
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00:11:17,037 --> 00:11:21,349
"the same crew showing up
on time every day. "Eddy,
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00:11:21,474 --> 00:11:23,618
"Carlos and Omar,
Isidoro and Angel.
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00:11:23,743 --> 00:11:26,187
"They're still with me,
and I hope they stay with me.
150
00:11:26,312 --> 00:11:28,523
"My bosses, however,
when they read this,
151
00:11:28,648 --> 00:11:32,685
"will really prove themselves patrons of
the arts if they don't can me right away."
152
00:11:33,986 --> 00:11:38,533
So you didn't fire him? �I didn't fire
him. �I didn't know it was being written.
153
00:11:38,658 --> 00:11:40,401
I didn't know
it was going to be published.
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00:11:40,526 --> 00:11:44,630
Uh, one day, I arrived at the restaurant,
and I just said, "What happened?"
155
00:11:45,498 --> 00:11:47,633
You're fucking kidding me.
156
00:11:48,634 --> 00:11:52,380
I was told today that on, I
guess, the 12th of this month,
157
00:11:52,505 --> 00:11:54,782
it'll be number seven
on the Times Best Seller list.
158
00:11:54,907 --> 00:11:57,652
'Cause it was on 20,
wasn't it? And then, uh...
159
00:11:57,777 --> 00:11:59,387
I mean, I'm getting
congratulatory calls,
160
00:11:59,512 --> 00:12:03,825
and they're telling me I have a best
seller. �Uh, really, it's scary.
161
00:12:03,950 --> 00:12:07,963
No, it's exciting. It's
wonderful. �Yeah, I just...
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00:12:08,088 --> 00:12:12,692
Anything that happens beyond
that door �I'm suspicious of.
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00:12:13,793 --> 00:12:17,973
He was always behind in the rent,
always behind his, you know, payments
164
00:12:18,098 --> 00:12:22,744
and-and-and living from paycheck to
paycheck, like in a pressure cooker.
165
00:12:22,869 --> 00:12:25,905
So when there was this
opportunity, he-he was ready.
166
00:12:33,546 --> 00:12:37,692
"By the time I was 43, "I really thought
that I had had all my great adventures,
167
00:12:37,817 --> 00:12:42,755
"that the entertainment and excitement
segment of the program was long over."
168
00:12:45,558 --> 00:12:47,660
What's up? -Thank you.
169
00:12:49,896 --> 00:12:52,607
That was cool. "I was
comfortably ensconced
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00:12:52,732 --> 00:12:54,542
"in secure digs with a wife
who still remarkably
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00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:56,744
found me to be amusing
on occasion."
172
00:12:56,869 --> 00:12:58,947
What? What are you doing?
You're giving interviews?
173
00:12:59,072 --> 00:13:01,950
What are you... you media
hoe. "I had a job I loved in
174
00:13:02,075 --> 00:13:06,512
"a successful restaurant, and I was alive,
for Christ's sakes. �I was still around."
175
00:13:09,082 --> 00:13:13,728
I don't cook at home. �I-I just... I'm
too, uh... I would love to tell you,
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00:13:13,853 --> 00:13:17,732
you know, I go home and-and cook fabulous,
uh, little snackies for-for my wife.
177
00:13:17,857 --> 00:13:22,562
I would be lying if I told you that. �It's
more like, "Honey, call out for Chinese."
178
00:13:26,732 --> 00:13:29,978
"There are, it turns out, a million
ways "to say 'Suck my dick.'
179
00:13:30,103 --> 00:13:34,348
"And like all great performances,
"it's about timing, tone and delivery,
180
00:13:34,473 --> 00:13:38,544
kind of like cooking." �Thanks.
181
00:13:39,745 --> 00:13:44,358
You know, all the TV chefs are
so cuddly and adorable, you know.
182
00:13:44,483 --> 00:13:48,018
Maybe I'm the... sort of like the antidote
or something. �You know? I don't know.
183
00:13:52,959 --> 00:13:56,370
For me, it happened overnight. �I mean,
one minute, I was a cook at a restaurant,
184
00:13:56,495 --> 00:13:58,506
and not a particularly
great one, and the next,
185
00:13:58,631 --> 00:14:03,135
I was an author, and it was literally
overnight. �It fell in my lap.
186
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:07,637
I'm selling books now and it's going
well. �Now I hired a Chef de Cuisine.
187
00:14:08,307 --> 00:14:12,644
I'm a defector. �I got a free
bottle of wine and a basket of food
188
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:16,563
in my room when I came home last
night saying 'Welcome, Chef Bourdain'.
189
00:14:18,451 --> 00:14:22,064
Joining me now is Anthony Bourdain,
author of Kitchen Confidential.
190
00:14:22,189 --> 00:14:26,657
Anthony Bourdain... �Chef Anthony
Bourdain... �Here's Anthony Bourdain.
191
00:14:27,727 --> 00:14:29,537
What-what do you think
about these guys
192
00:14:29,662 --> 00:14:32,473
like Emeril Lagasse and those
guys on the Food Network? -Wow.
193
00:14:32,598 --> 00:14:35,810
Y-You're asking me to, you know, kick
Santa Claus in the crotch on television.
194
00:14:35,935 --> 00:14:39,680
I mean... �My life gets
more and more ridiculous.
195
00:14:39,805 --> 00:14:41,549
Apparently, Brad Pitt will be
playing me in a movie.
196
00:14:41,674 --> 00:14:47,755
Yeah, guess what's, uh, tomorrow. �What's
tomorrow? -Oprah. �No! You're kidding me!
197
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:51,359
This is Anthony Bourdain.
�His book Kitchen Confidential
198
00:14:51,484 --> 00:14:55,797
is a New York Times Best
Seller. I was born to cook.
199
00:14:55,922 --> 00:14:58,399
I loved satisfying
people's appetites.
200
00:14:58,524 --> 00:15:02,593
Next, I'll be, uh, doing the lambada
with Emeril. �Bam! Just a little...
201
00:15:04,097 --> 00:15:06,097
I'd hate myself.
202
00:15:32,259 --> 00:15:34,259
Thanks.
203
00:15:38,764 --> 00:15:43,611
Oh! Whoa! �Ah. -Tony Bourdain rocks!
204
00:15:43,736 --> 00:15:47,448
What's up, man? Everything
good? �Life is good. -Yes, yes.
205
00:15:47,573 --> 00:15:50,518
We're celebrating Tony's book.
�Come here, girl. Get in here. -Hi.
206
00:15:50,643 --> 00:15:54,990
How you doing? -Good. �This is Tony.
-Hi. �Howdy. -Oh, congratulations.
207
00:15:55,115 --> 00:15:57,592
We're having a good time.
�Oh, oh, the next one?
208
00:15:57,717 --> 00:16:00,761
No, the next one, I'm doing
something called A Cook's Tour.
209
00:16:00,886 --> 00:16:02,663
Basically, I'm gonna
travel around the world,
210
00:16:02,788 --> 00:16:04,066
eating exotic food and having
adventures in the Far East
211
00:16:04,191 --> 00:16:10,694
and Africa and South America... with a
crew chasing me. Hey, John, come here.
212
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:17,946
You know, my 15 minutes of quote, unquote
"fame", uh, you know, when that's over,
213
00:16:18,071 --> 00:16:22,117
uh, I will be perfectly comfortable
with that, if not relieved.
214
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:27,822
I think even relieved at this point.
When I met him for the first time,
215
00:16:27,947 --> 00:16:31,193
he had made a splash with
Kitchen Confidential.
216
00:16:31,318 --> 00:16:36,898
I had read that he had a contract to
write a second bookcalled A Cook's Tour,
217
00:16:37,023 --> 00:16:39,023
and I called him.
218
00:16:40,093 --> 00:16:44,538
Yes? -And I said, "Hey, I'm a producer."
-Doing good. "Would you ever even consider
219
00:16:44,663 --> 00:16:49,211
making Cook's Tour into a series?" �And
he, you know, he was like, you know,
220
00:16:49,336 --> 00:16:52,647
"Yeah, uh, whatever."
You know? "Sure." -Sure.
221
00:16:52,772 --> 00:16:57,685
He was very nonplussed about the whole
idea of doing anything in television.
222
00:16:57,810 --> 00:17:02,080
It was not what was
on his mind. �Bye-bye.
223
00:17:03,682 --> 00:17:09,097
A week and a half later, �Chris
Collins and I went up to Les Halles.
224
00:17:09,222 --> 00:17:15,003
We found Tony, shot a demo with him
and had a conversation with him.
225
00:17:15,128 --> 00:17:19,540
And it became immediately clear
he had never traveled.
226
00:17:19,665 --> 00:17:24,246
Lydia and I were far greater world
travelers than Tony Bourdain.
227
00:17:24,371 --> 00:17:28,984
His travels were in his head. You know,
I want to go to faraway exotic places
228
00:17:29,109 --> 00:17:33,844
with palm trees and where teenagers
in army uniforms carry machine guns.
229
00:17:34,980 --> 00:17:37,858
Growing up as a kid, you know,
I watched The Crimson Pirate.
230
00:17:37,983 --> 00:17:42,755
You know, all pirates and bad
guys having great adventures.
231
00:17:48,661 --> 00:17:54,809
Tony's view of the world emanated
from books and from films.
232
00:17:54,934 --> 00:18:00,082
Almost in an encyclopedic way, he
could grab all these references.
233
00:18:00,207 --> 00:18:04,920
And I think he was excited
to go on this journey
234
00:18:05,045 --> 00:18:11,016
to see if the reality actually
matched the imagination.
235
00:18:19,459 --> 00:18:22,304
That moment when we set out
236
00:18:22,429 --> 00:18:26,899
in December of 2000,
it's indelible.
237
00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:34,282
Our first journey was, um, for six weeks.
�And remember, we'd only spent one...
238
00:18:34,407 --> 00:18:37,277
one day with Tony
leading up to that moment.
239
00:18:42,915 --> 00:18:45,327
The image of Tony,
I mean, it was, I think,
240
00:18:45,452 --> 00:18:50,123
a guy who, at that moment, was very
unsure of what was about to happen.
241
00:18:51,124 --> 00:18:56,104
This way. You know, I'm looking at a
strange and, uh, unpredictable future
242
00:18:56,229 --> 00:19:00,608
in a tough business with rules that
I'm not com-completely familiar with,
243
00:19:00,733 --> 00:19:03,778
and when I become familiar
with them, I...
244
00:19:03,903 --> 00:19:07,073
you know, I don't know
whether I like them that much.
245
00:19:08,341 --> 00:19:12,921
We hit the road together,
just the three of us.
246
00:19:13,046 --> 00:19:16,316
Lydia and I
had just gotten married.
247
00:19:18,017 --> 00:19:23,831
And then we had Tony, a guy who we
barely knew. �So it was like three idiots
248
00:19:23,956 --> 00:19:26,059
trying to figure each other out.
249
00:19:27,093 --> 00:19:30,805
The first shoot was Japan. �Like,
we didn't know what we were doing.
250
00:19:30,930 --> 00:19:32,740
He definitely didn't know
what he was doing.
251
00:19:32,865 --> 00:19:38,938
And Tony immediately became
uncomfortable and awkward.
252
00:19:40,073 --> 00:19:45,820
What we would find out very quickly is
�Tony was actually a very shy human being.
253
00:19:45,945 --> 00:19:50,125
And to get him to make
eye contact or to interact,
254
00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:53,719
it wasn't his natural state.
255
00:19:59,858 --> 00:20:01,802
You know, life
on the road with Tony Bourdain
256
00:20:01,927 --> 00:20:05,040
just isn't all it's cracked up
to be. �You know what I mean?
257
00:20:05,165 --> 00:20:09,710
The man can be a royal pain
in the ass sometimes.
258
00:20:09,835 --> 00:20:16,717
In fact, I got this cold sore on
my lip now, and it's due to stress,
259
00:20:16,842 --> 00:20:22,048
stress over Tony's
lack of communication.
260
00:20:22,915 --> 00:20:27,295
That, compounded by the fact that we were
in Japan being sort of led into scenes
261
00:20:27,420 --> 00:20:32,300
where there was a lot of,
kind of, formality involved,
262
00:20:32,425 --> 00:20:36,037
you know, all of those
factored into him being quiet,
263
00:20:36,162 --> 00:20:39,065
which was like
the worst possible thing.
264
00:20:41,301 --> 00:20:43,303
Mmm. Oh, wow.
265
00:20:44,903 --> 00:20:50,051
Spectacular. I mean, Chris and I
went back to the hotel and basically
266
00:20:50,176 --> 00:20:53,478
looked at each other and
said like... �We're fucked.
267
00:20:58,318 --> 00:21:00,929
Chris, can...
Chris, take a picture of
268
00:21:01,054 --> 00:21:03,764
me and Lydia as we come back
with the sun behind her,
269
00:21:03,889 --> 00:21:06,034
pointing up the mountain
towards the farmhouse
270
00:21:06,159 --> 00:21:11,739
as we walk up past the yellow
triangular sign. �Thank you.
271
00:21:11,864 --> 00:21:17,112
Okay. Here we go. �Okay. �I mean,
to be honest, I'm not totally alone,
272
00:21:17,237 --> 00:21:20,348
'cause clearly somebody is shooting this.
�I always love those, like, desert scenes,
273
00:21:20,473 --> 00:21:23,884
"I'm alone in the desert." �Yeah,
but who else's footprints are those?
274
00:21:24,009 --> 00:21:30,225
You know, one of those things.
But-but look. �This is pretty cool.
275
00:21:30,350 --> 00:21:32,260
And it does feel pretty cool
to be walking...
276
00:21:32,385 --> 00:21:34,229
Well, I'll tell you this:
I'm having a lot more fun
277
00:21:34,354 --> 00:21:38,891
walking forward than the cameraperson
is walking backwards, I'm sure.
278
00:21:40,660 --> 00:21:47,033
Was that a groan? �Yes, it was.
We went from Japan to Vietnam.
279
00:21:50,303 --> 00:21:54,973
That's when things started
to kick in to a different gear.
280
00:21:59,646 --> 00:22:01,389
My good friend
Phillipe Lajaunie,
281
00:22:01,514 --> 00:22:04,825
uh, pulled in, uh,
semi-unexpectedly last night.
282
00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:07,253
We're ready for, uh,
ready for our adventure?
283
00:22:10,156 --> 00:22:15,370
I joined them on that first trip in
Vietnam, and he was enjoying himself
284
00:22:15,495 --> 00:22:19,307
and being less cynical. �Hey.
�Floating Starbucks over here.
285
00:22:19,432 --> 00:22:23,136
I'll have a double latte,
uh, mochaccino please.
286
00:22:24,371 --> 00:22:28,072
Oh, that's great. �Kicks
the shit out of Starbucks.
287
00:22:31,378 --> 00:22:35,889
"I love Vietnam. "Maybe it's a
pheromonic thing, like when you meet
288
00:22:36,014 --> 00:22:39,961
"the love of your life for the
first time. "She just, somehow,
289
00:22:40,086 --> 00:22:42,964
"inexplicably smells
and feels right.
290
00:22:43,089 --> 00:22:46,034
"You sense that, given the
opportunity, this is the woman
291
00:22:46,159 --> 00:22:48,495
you want to spend
the rest of your life with."
292
00:22:49,562 --> 00:22:54,476
We had common desire to spend
time in Vietnam, maybe forever.
293
00:22:54,601 --> 00:22:57,970
That was our secret bond.
294
00:22:59,105 --> 00:23:03,318
And of course, the movie
Apocalypse Now was one of his top
295
00:23:03,443 --> 00:23:07,355
three movies in his life, uh,
because it combined so many things:
296
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,383
Vietnam and the war and-and the
book, the Heart of Darkness.
297
00:23:12,051 --> 00:23:15,896
We just started doing all of this
self-indulgent film references,
298
00:23:16,021 --> 00:23:20,201
and I suddenly realized, "Wait a minute.
�This-this filmmaking thing can be fun."
299
00:23:20,326 --> 00:23:26,341
? Ah! ? You know, it's a big crayon box.
300
00:23:26,466 --> 00:23:30,336
We can actually enjoy this.
�Why am I here? Am I insane?
301
00:23:32,739 --> 00:23:36,251
You know, he used to say,
"Don't ever let me do TV.
302
00:23:36,376 --> 00:23:42,023
Thing is like, if I ever do TV, shoot me."
And, you know, at first, it was awful.
303
00:23:42,148 --> 00:23:46,928
Where do cooks come from? The answer
to this and other questions to follow.
304
00:23:47,053 --> 00:23:50,632
And then very quickly... he's such a
good student, he's so freaking smart...
305
00:23:50,757 --> 00:23:55,904
he, like, figured it out. �Chris, Lydia,
I love you. �You know that, right?
306
00:23:56,029 --> 00:23:57,939
But I got one night
in Bangkok here, okay?
307
00:23:58,064 --> 00:24:00,108
So not even 24 hours
we're laying over here.
308
00:24:00,233 --> 00:24:04,145
You want to do a whole goddamn
show in 24 hours? �Fine. Okay?
309
00:24:04,270 --> 00:24:09,250
But... forget about blocking out.
�No plan and you better be fast.
310
00:24:09,375 --> 00:24:12,245
I'm gonna have a good time.
We're gonna roll.
311
00:24:13,346 --> 00:24:18,151
And if you don't get it, you don't get it.
Catch it in editing, as we like to say.
312
00:24:20,253 --> 00:24:24,032
What started to grow at that
moment was this understanding,
313
00:24:24,157 --> 00:24:26,935
"Tony, you don't need
to tell us everything.
314
00:24:27,060 --> 00:24:28,470
"You need to experience this
and ask questions.
315
00:24:28,595 --> 00:24:30,605
"That's how we're all
gonna learn from this place.
316
00:24:30,730 --> 00:24:36,135
"It's not you being a travel guide.
�It's you being open to this experience."
317
00:24:37,136 --> 00:24:40,949
Oh, Jesus. �Look at this.
�Look at this thing.
318
00:24:41,074 --> 00:24:44,152
Look at the roe just popping out
everywhere. �Just in... Whoa! Whoa.
319
00:24:44,277 --> 00:24:49,023
Come back. Come to papa. �If there is any
dish that comes closest to perfection,
320
00:24:49,148 --> 00:24:53,486
this is it, you know. �This is bumping
up right up against the walls of heaven.
321
00:24:55,855 --> 00:24:59,526
Ah, man. �We've reached the mountaintop.
322
00:25:29,822 --> 00:25:34,469
And trying to think, you know, "What do I
want?" �It would be nice to buy something
323
00:25:34,594 --> 00:25:37,071
that will fulfill
some hollow part of my soul,
324
00:25:37,196 --> 00:25:42,068
but I can't think of, you know, anything.
�Maybe a car will do it. I-I don't know.
325
00:25:44,203 --> 00:25:48,675
I mean, shit, my rent is paid.
�That alone is spectacular.
326
00:25:50,443 --> 00:25:53,788
I mean, I-I... �I'd like to
live like a normal person.
327
00:25:53,913 --> 00:25:55,523
That was always my thought,
that-that if I get
328
00:25:55,648 --> 00:25:59,027
enough money, I'll be able
to live like a normal person.
329
00:25:59,152 --> 00:26:01,754
But I don't even know
what that is anymore.
330
00:26:04,891 --> 00:26:08,503
I read Kitchen Confidential
at that time, and I call him.
331
00:26:08,628 --> 00:26:14,042
And I invite him to have lunch with
me because I want to meet the man.
332
00:26:14,167 --> 00:26:17,403
And he shows up
with a-a TV crew.
333
00:26:20,206 --> 00:26:23,451
I thought this was a jackpot.
�This was one of my idols.
334
00:26:23,576 --> 00:26:26,646
I was just absolutely
freaked out.
335
00:26:28,314 --> 00:26:33,127
Incredibly sophisticated,
refined, clean, beautiful,
336
00:26:33,252 --> 00:26:37,799
impeccably presented.
�Eric's food is like
337
00:26:37,924 --> 00:26:40,727
the craft
performed at its highest level.
338
00:26:43,262 --> 00:26:49,644
When I meet him, I don't expect
him... to be so articulate.
339
00:26:49,769 --> 00:26:56,317
And he has amazing good manners at the
table. And I think at the end of the meal,
340
00:26:56,442 --> 00:27:01,147
we said we should meet
again. �And, um, and we did.
341
00:27:04,041 --> 00:27:06,041
This is a special custard for Tony.
342
00:27:06,168 --> 00:27:10,365
Marlboro cigarettes crunched up into a
cream. �Tell him that's his cigarette fix.
343
00:27:10,490 --> 00:27:12,625
Served with foie gras
mousse and notes of...
344
00:27:16,963 --> 00:27:19,307
I think
what was not a struggle...
345
00:27:19,432 --> 00:27:23,711
I don't know if "struggle" is the right
word, but the challenge was to be real,
346
00:27:23,836 --> 00:27:29,717
stay real, and at the same time, be
the host of a TV show. �You have to
347
00:27:29,842 --> 00:27:33,588
exaggerate a little bit. �This is
like driving a Rolls-Royce naked
348
00:27:33,713 --> 00:27:35,713
in mink underpants.
349
00:27:38,317 --> 00:27:44,299
Just so over-the-top
luxurious. I think the person
350
00:27:44,424 --> 00:27:46,334
that people experienced
on camera was
351
00:27:46,459 --> 00:27:48,436
someone who seemingly had
this incredible ability
352
00:27:48,561 --> 00:27:53,741
to engage with anybody he came across.
�It's like the un-muscled James Bond
353
00:27:53,866 --> 00:27:55,743
who could kind of swan
into scenes.
354
00:27:55,868 --> 00:28:01,816
There was that persona that was
created over time. I am looking for
355
00:28:01,941 --> 00:28:06,754
extremes of emotion and experience.
�I'll try anything. I'll risk everything.
356
00:28:06,879 --> 00:28:11,292
I have nothing to lose.
�The story was A Cook's Tour
357
00:28:11,417 --> 00:28:14,228
was about a guy who smoke and drank
and ate his way around the world.
358
00:28:14,353 --> 00:28:17,231
That was true. �Part of the pitch was,
359
00:28:17,356 --> 00:28:19,759
"And he's gonna eat
really weird shit, too."
360
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:25,373
Let's-let's do the nasty. �They don't
seem to have their mise en place together.
361
00:28:25,498 --> 00:28:28,276
I have my mise en place together
when I'm making steak frites.
362
00:28:28,401 --> 00:28:29,744
It seems to me, you know,
when you're making live cobra,
363
00:28:29,869 --> 00:28:32,246
you know, you should have
your operating stuff laid out.
364
00:28:32,371 --> 00:28:34,474
You know, where's the
cutting board, the knife?
365
00:28:35,708 --> 00:28:41,222
Scissors? You know, eating those kind of
things was for camera, was for network,
366
00:28:41,347 --> 00:28:44,292
was for all the reasons people
do that. �It's like, you know,
367
00:28:44,417 --> 00:28:47,787
it's a little salacious, like he's
eating a live, beating cobra heart.
368
00:28:49,388 --> 00:28:51,388
Cheers, folks.
369
00:28:54,694 --> 00:28:59,307
Feels strong. �It kind of pumps on its
way down, too. And I think that persona
370
00:28:59,432 --> 00:29:02,477
followed him for a number
of years, but over time,
371
00:29:02,602 --> 00:29:05,738
that burned off
and it became Tony.
372
00:29:16,449 --> 00:29:17,825
Going back
to the ancestral homeland,
373
00:29:17,950 --> 00:29:20,595
and maybe we'll discover
some things along the way.
374
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:24,499
So this is my father
and a little friend in France
375
00:29:24,624 --> 00:29:26,434
in a little oyster village
in the Gironde.
376
00:29:26,559 --> 00:29:32,331
This is one of my favorite pictures, also.
�Uh, my brother and I in the same spot.
377
00:29:33,533 --> 00:29:38,413
We didn't do a lot of travel when we were
kids 'cause my parents were not rich.
378
00:29:38,538 --> 00:29:41,972
We did go to France a couple of times
because my dad had relatives there.
379
00:29:44,111 --> 00:29:50,625
I'm nervous. �Whoever thought we'd do
something this goofy? �This isn't goofy.
380
00:29:50,750 --> 00:29:54,429
Our childhood as American kids,
we really got into Tintin books,
381
00:29:54,554 --> 00:30:00,401
which Americans say "Tin-Tin." This was
a graphic novel about this young reporter
382
00:30:00,526 --> 00:30:05,865
who travels all around the world and ends
up with all of these amazing adventures.
383
00:30:07,134 --> 00:30:09,477
I think it was actually, in some
ways, an inspiration for Tony's life.
384
00:30:09,602 --> 00:30:14,749
This is an oyster boat similar to the
one on which I had my first oyster.
385
00:30:14,874 --> 00:30:18,653
"I blame my first oyster "for everything
I did after: my thrill-seeking,
386
00:30:18,778 --> 00:30:21,447
all my hideous screwups
in pursuit of pleasure."
387
00:30:23,116 --> 00:30:28,063
"I was miserable and angry." �Damn!
We didn't get those when we were kids.
388
00:30:28,188 --> 00:30:31,466
No, no. -He-he! "I bridled bitterly at
389
00:30:31,591 --> 00:30:34,302
"the smothering chokehold of
love and normalcy in my house.
390
00:30:34,427 --> 00:30:38,339
"Call it a character flaw, of which
drugs were simply a manifestation."
391
00:30:38,464 --> 00:30:42,343
Outstanding, Corporal! -Most
excellent. "A petulant 'fuck you'
392
00:30:42,468 --> 00:30:47,840
"to my bourgeois parents, who'd committed
the unpardonable sin of loving me."
393
00:30:49,008 --> 00:30:51,510
I'm really glad we got a
chance to do this. -Me, too.
394
00:30:52,645 --> 00:30:55,882
We're older
and more mature now.
395
00:31:02,055 --> 00:31:08,661
Yeah. -Okay. �Yeah, let's do another one.
�Yeah. -Okay. �All right, um, take two.
396
00:31:10,529 --> 00:31:12,908
"Two years ago, frequent flyer
miles meant nothing to me.
397
00:31:13,033 --> 00:31:16,477
Today, miles earned are the
pathetic milestones of my..."
398
00:31:16,602 --> 00:31:20,681
Top? -Yeah, start at the top. �All right,
take three. We would write the voice-over
399
00:31:20,806 --> 00:31:25,020
in the beginning. �Like, we need
context for what we're seeing. �We need
400
00:31:25,145 --> 00:31:29,857
some summary of the scene. "Later, I'm
on another swing through Southeast Asia
401
00:31:29,982 --> 00:31:32,727
"with layovers here and
there. "First stop, Singapore.
402
00:31:32,852 --> 00:31:35,730
A quick business dinner with
my editor, Ilangoh T..."
403
00:31:35,855 --> 00:31:40,701
"Tanalaban"? "Tanadab..." "Tana..." Is
it... No. �Thanabalan. -Thanabalan. Okay.
404
00:31:40,826 --> 00:31:43,538
"Later, I'm on a..." Tony
would come to the narration,
405
00:31:43,663 --> 00:31:46,975
and he'd be like, "What is the shit?"
�You know what I mean? And so...
406
00:31:47,100 --> 00:31:48,709
he would start
scratching things out.
407
00:31:48,834 --> 00:31:51,579
And, you know, first it started
with a word or two here
408
00:31:51,704 --> 00:31:56,784
or a sentence or two here. �You know, and
then he became, like, maniacal about it.
409
00:31:56,909 --> 00:32:00,588
"...book tours, the TV show,
I travel for a living.
410
00:32:00,713 --> 00:32:03,591
"I've committed to memory
the SkyMall magazine.
411
00:32:03,716 --> 00:32:07,595
"The electronic watering timer,
$49.99. "Duty-free restrictions:
412
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:12,733
one liter alcohol, two cartons of smokes."
"Cobbler for dessert? I don't think so.
413
00:32:12,858 --> 00:32:16,004
"Airport to airport,
city to city,
414
00:32:16,129 --> 00:32:19,774
"I'm starting to feel like
a modern-day Willy Loman.
415
00:32:19,899 --> 00:32:26,447
"Time zone to time zone, country to
country, this, it appears, is my life."
416
00:32:26,572 --> 00:32:29,884
He really understood, like,
"This is an extension of me.
417
00:32:30,009 --> 00:32:36,824
"This is an extension of my writing.
"I better write in my voice.
418
00:32:36,949 --> 00:32:38,759
"You know, otherwise this is
gonna sound... I'm gonna sound
419
00:32:38,884 --> 00:32:44,023
like a tr-travel television host
rather than a writer."
420
00:32:46,293 --> 00:32:50,538
"Making TV was becoming
"creatively satisfying.
421
00:32:50,663 --> 00:32:56,611
"I wrote the book and yet continued
filming. "The tail now wagged the dog.
422
00:32:56,736 --> 00:33:02,075
"I was hooked on travel, on seeing the
world, "and on the terms I was seeing it.
423
00:33:04,877 --> 00:33:06,922
"I was on the road for
the better part of two years,
424
00:33:07,047 --> 00:33:10,658
"during which time
everything in my life changed.
425
00:33:10,783 --> 00:33:14,196
"I stopped working as a chef,
a job whose daily routines
426
00:33:14,321 --> 00:33:19,625
"have always been the only thing
"that stood between me and chaos.
427
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:24,064
My first marriage
began to fall apart."
428
00:33:25,664 --> 00:33:30,145
They were together almost
30 years. �You know, he was
429
00:33:30,270 --> 00:33:36,817
a traditional romantic. He believed that
you could meet your high school sweetheart
430
00:33:36,942 --> 00:33:40,047
and spend the rest
of your life with them.
431
00:33:42,282 --> 00:33:45,726
They were like, you know, Sid and Nancy.
432
00:33:45,851 --> 00:33:48,964
They were like two people
conspiring against the world.
433
00:33:49,089 --> 00:33:53,759
It was a love born out
of youth and rebellion.
434
00:33:55,028 --> 00:34:00,108
Great. �Nancy, I hope your divorce lawyer
is paying close attention to this footage.
435
00:34:00,233 --> 00:34:04,071
Feel free to depose anyone
on this crew at any time.
436
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:11,144
This, too, of course, is part
of life's glorious mosaic.
437
00:34:12,212 --> 00:34:17,092
Nancy had no interest in fame or
being tied to fame, but it just
438
00:34:17,217 --> 00:34:20,561
was like a rebirth for Tony. �It
was like he died and-and was reborn.
439
00:34:20,686 --> 00:34:23,090
I mean, this was a new person
with a new life.
440
00:34:24,723 --> 00:34:28,270
"I wrote a crime novel "around that
time in which the characters' yearnings
441
00:34:28,395 --> 00:34:31,940
"for a white-picket-fence
kind of a life reflect my own
442
00:34:32,065 --> 00:34:36,044
"far more truthfully than any
nonfiction I've ever written.
443
00:34:36,169 --> 00:34:42,808
"Shortly after that, I cruelly burned
down my previous life in its entirety."
444
00:35:06,466 --> 00:35:10,912
That dying glow in the background is, uh,
I think the fuel depot from the airport...
445
00:35:11,037 --> 00:35:15,917
There we are on the balcony in my room,
nervously emptying out the minibar, uh,
446
00:35:16,042 --> 00:35:19,712
watching jet fuel
cook off at the airport.
447
00:35:20,813 --> 00:35:26,727
We had gone there to shoot a show for
the Travel Channel about how Beirut was
448
00:35:26,852 --> 00:35:32,334
this renaissance of thought, feeling
and energy, and we shot two scenes,
449
00:35:32,459 --> 00:35:35,961
and then shit went south
really fast.
450
00:35:36,929 --> 00:35:39,107
There was
a border incident with Israel.
451
00:35:39,232 --> 00:35:42,676
Hezbollah had kidnapped
some Israeli soldiers,
452
00:35:42,801 --> 00:35:45,938
and basically, uh,
we got caught up in a war.
453
00:35:48,774 --> 00:35:53,687
Hold on. Let me, uh... �Todd, exactly
how disgusted and anxious are you?
454
00:35:53,812 --> 00:35:57,926
We're damn lucky to be here. �We're
spending all this time at the pool,
455
00:35:58,051 --> 00:36:03,864
watching helicopters come in and out.
It was just a waiting game for us.
456
00:36:03,989 --> 00:36:07,202
We had to go in the basement because
there was a lot of bombs by us.
457
00:36:07,327 --> 00:36:09,327
They knocked down our house.
458
00:36:10,430 --> 00:36:13,375
You know, look at us in those scenes.
�You know, we're sitting around the pool,
459
00:36:13,500 --> 00:36:17,870
getting tan, you know, watching a war.
460
00:36:19,306 --> 00:36:24,785
If there's a single metaphor in
this entire experience, that...
461
00:36:24,910 --> 00:36:27,113
you know, that's probably it.
462
00:36:28,381 --> 00:36:30,381
Not a flattering one.
463
00:36:41,961 --> 00:36:45,673
When they arrived back, the
first thing he said was,
464
00:36:45,798 --> 00:36:47,275
"We cannot make a show
out of this.
465
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:51,046
I refuse to exploit
this experience in that way."
466
00:36:51,171 --> 00:36:53,739
Needless to say,
the network saw it differently.
467
00:36:54,974 --> 00:37:00,888
There's just no neat sum-up to
the story. He stopped doing the...
468
00:37:01,013 --> 00:37:06,817
rosy sum-up of what we
just saw. �He just stopped.
469
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:08,130
In the few years
since I've started
470
00:37:08,255 --> 00:37:11,765
to travel this world,
I'd found myself changing.
471
00:37:11,890 --> 00:37:16,304
I'd begun to believe that the
dinner table was the great leveler.
472
00:37:16,429 --> 00:37:21,176
Now I'm not so sure. �Maybe the
world's not like that at all.
473
00:37:21,301 --> 00:37:26,014
Maybe in the real world, the one without
cameras and happy food and travel shows,
474
00:37:26,139 --> 00:37:29,783
everybody, the good
and the bad together,
475
00:37:29,908 --> 00:37:34,389
are all crushed under the same
terrible wheel. �I hope...
476
00:37:34,514 --> 00:37:37,250
I really hope
I'm wrong about that.
477
00:37:41,521 --> 00:37:45,100
That ambiguity, that's what he embraced.
478
00:37:45,225 --> 00:37:48,961
Fucking open-endedness
is where the answers are.
479
00:37:50,597 --> 00:37:55,510
It was an embittering experience. �It
got all of us thinking about, you know,
480
00:37:55,635 --> 00:37:57,803
what's important in life.
481
00:38:00,106 --> 00:38:05,911
Oh, it's recording. �Oh, my
God. �You look like an idiot.
482
00:38:07,347 --> 00:38:10,225
Come on, say something,
Mr. Anthony Bourdain.
483
00:38:10,350 --> 00:38:13,428
This is, uh, our vacation video, and
we're gonna show this to our children.
484
00:38:13,553 --> 00:38:20,193
Welcome to my video. �Welcome to my first
independent film. �My spring vacation.
485
00:38:22,228 --> 00:38:27,142
Ow, ow, ow! �Come on, I'm driving.
�How do you say that in English?
486
00:38:27,267 --> 00:38:29,267
Is this a bad thing?
487
00:38:30,103 --> 00:38:33,281
Tony was single, and
Ottavia worked for me.
488
00:38:33,406 --> 00:38:35,984
Tony called me and he-he said,
"Who is this girl, Ottavia?"
489
00:38:36,109 --> 00:38:40,922
And I said, "Well, have fun. You
know, don't take it seriously."
490
00:38:41,047 --> 00:38:46,394
Eric thought, you know, we were
the perfect match for those
491
00:38:46,519 --> 00:38:52,866
occasional, you know, rendezvous.
�You drive like Grandma.
492
00:38:52,991 --> 00:38:56,004
What do you mean? Does Grandma drive
like this? �Oh, here, look, no hands.
493
00:38:56,129 --> 00:39:00,008
Oh, yeah. I thought he was gonna be this
494
00:39:00,133 --> 00:39:03,144
bad boy, a little bit arrogant,
495
00:39:03,269 --> 00:39:07,340
and not what I was expecting
but endearing nonetheless.
496
00:39:09,142 --> 00:39:14,089
Perfetto. �But you know what the
show's about? �No. -It's about a,
497
00:39:14,214 --> 00:39:19,860
about a existential crossroads in my
life. �You look bored already. �I am.
498
00:39:19,985 --> 00:39:22,564
You saw they were pretty
smitten. �I mean, he always has
499
00:39:22,689 --> 00:39:27,901
really appreciated very strong
women. She would cut him no slack.
500
00:39:28,026 --> 00:39:31,473
This is a load of. �What are the
chances this scene is gonna end up
501
00:39:31,598 --> 00:39:35,043
on the cutting room floor?
-Zero. �Even if we fight.
502
00:39:35,168 --> 00:39:39,080
Now, that would be good
television, see? �We should fight.
503
00:39:39,205 --> 00:39:42,951
A couple of months later, we are in
a restaurant, and she's toasting him
504
00:39:43,076 --> 00:39:48,390
at the table, and I see tears
in his eyes. �Real tears.
505
00:39:48,515 --> 00:39:51,217
And we're like,
"Oh, my God, he's in love."
506
00:39:52,452 --> 00:39:57,332
Okay, let's do some romantic thing.
�What, like... No. �Get that...
507
00:39:57,457 --> 00:40:02,003
Tony was like the teenagers, like,
falling in love for the first time.
508
00:40:02,128 --> 00:40:04,072
They changed their clothes
and the music
509
00:40:04,197 --> 00:40:06,874
that they're listening to, and
pieces of him that you thought
510
00:40:06,999 --> 00:40:10,303
you knew were... shifting.
511
00:40:13,106 --> 00:40:18,420
Were you shocked when Tony had a
kid? �I was shocked. �I had asked him
512
00:40:18,545 --> 00:40:21,047
how come he didn't have kids,
and he's like...
513
00:40:22,215 --> 00:40:25,951
"It's just not something
I ever see myself doing, ever."
514
00:40:27,019 --> 00:40:30,632
For most of my life, I wouldn't
have been a good father.
515
00:40:30,757 --> 00:40:36,338
Too self-involved, too messed-up
on drugs. �And also afraid.
516
00:40:36,463 --> 00:40:38,973
The thought of being
frightened for a child,
517
00:40:39,098 --> 00:40:43,036
you know, I was not
up to that kind of fear.
518
00:40:44,404 --> 00:40:48,116
Any doubts I might have had
kind of dissipated
519
00:40:48,241 --> 00:40:53,121
when I realized how happy,
how happy, excited he was
520
00:40:53,246 --> 00:40:56,115
that he was gonna
become a father.
521
00:40:57,116 --> 00:41:00,353
No phone. -No phone?
522
00:41:02,522 --> 00:41:07,702
Okay. Okay. That's okay.
�That's okay? -That's okay.
523
00:41:07,827 --> 00:41:13,074
Yeah? It's okay, Dada? -Come on. Come
on. �Okay, a little hug? -Come on.
524
00:41:13,199 --> 00:41:18,546
Come on, now. Okay,
okay. �Okay, okay. -Okay.
525
00:41:18,671 --> 00:41:23,710
Come on. Come on, Appa. �Appa.
-Appa? What about your appa?
526
00:41:28,648 --> 00:41:32,026
One, two, three. ? You
know we're talking ?
527
00:41:32,151 --> 00:41:35,788
Come on, come on. - ? 'Bout the doctor.
? �But what does the doctor look like?
528
00:41:38,124 --> 00:41:42,260
Well, hello. I'm Dr. Tony. �What
seems to be the problem here?
529
00:41:42,829 --> 00:41:46,374
I'm here to help you get
all better. �Hooray! -Yeah!
530
00:41:46,499 --> 00:41:48,476
We should help all people
when they need help.
531
00:41:48,601 --> 00:41:54,449
Hey, that reminds me, I
have to get back. �Bye.
532
00:41:54,574 --> 00:42:01,055
This is my life. �I wake up. �I
walk my daughter to her summer camp.
533
00:42:01,180 --> 00:42:03,391
You know, I have a few minutes
of normal family life,
534
00:42:03,516 --> 00:42:06,628
then I, like, take the elevator
downstairs, and there's yet another...
535
00:42:06,753 --> 00:42:10,688
Yo, Anthony! How you doing,
boss? �Hey, what's up, man?
536
00:42:10,948 --> 00:42:15,470
Let's go get a cocktail,
c'mon man �Are you on the job?
537
00:42:15,595 --> 00:42:18,698
Yo, this guy's got
the best show on TV.
538
00:42:20,333 --> 00:42:24,779
Tony got really famous. �Like,
every two minutes, it seemed,
539
00:42:24,904 --> 00:42:29,784
someone's going up to him. "Hey."
�You know, "Tony, I'm a huge fan.
540
00:42:29,909 --> 00:42:33,455
"Can I take a photo? "Can you talk to me?
541
00:42:33,580 --> 00:42:35,223
What are, what-what are
some travel tips? Would I..."
542
00:42:35,348 --> 00:42:38,785
It-it was just incessant,
nonstop barrage.
543
00:42:44,824 --> 00:42:48,770
He got a kid and he wanted
to be a good husband to Ottavia,
544
00:42:48,895 --> 00:42:55,109
and... everything changed, man. �For
him. �I'm food bad boy Tony Bourdain.
545
00:42:55,234 --> 00:42:57,612
There's nowhere I won't go
and nothing I won't eat,
546
00:42:57,737 --> 00:43:00,281
as long as I'm paid in emeralds
and my hotel room has
547
00:43:00,406 --> 00:43:05,778
a bidet that shoots warm champagne.
�Ladies and gentlemen, Anthony Bourdain.
548
00:43:20,526 --> 00:43:25,273
And that's when I was like,
"Tony, like, what the fuck, man?
549
00:43:25,398 --> 00:43:30,512
"Like, how do you maintain your cool
and your composure and you're nice?"
550
00:43:30,637 --> 00:43:32,480
I'll never forget this.
He's like, "Listen.
551
00:43:32,605 --> 00:43:35,416
"Me being nice to someone
and being gracious to them,
552
00:43:35,541 --> 00:43:39,554
"if that's my job,
it certainly beats
553
00:43:39,679 --> 00:43:44,250
being middling line cook
at a struggling restaurant."
554
00:43:46,552 --> 00:43:50,398
Do you have anything
resembling a normal life? �No.
555
00:43:50,523 --> 00:43:53,434
I'm asking this 'cause
the answer for me is no.
556
00:43:53,559 --> 00:43:57,171
I want to say no, 'cause
I just visited my friends.
557
00:43:57,296 --> 00:44:03,144
I haven't seen them in many years. �Right.
-And I felt I just... �I couldn't relate.
558
00:44:03,269 --> 00:44:04,579
I mean, it's like...
-I know, I know.
559
00:44:04,704 --> 00:44:09,350
And I-I understand those, but-but,
but... yeah. �I'm a freak.
560
00:44:09,475 --> 00:44:12,720
They only... -Fucking hell. Jesus.
�Oh, is this so interesting?
561
00:44:12,845 --> 00:44:17,592
What are we waiting for? �Is
there... �We're always at the ready.
562
00:44:17,717 --> 00:44:21,496
I'm about to give birth to a big
fucking alien baby at any moment.
563
00:44:21,621 --> 00:44:24,732
It's-it's gonna be huge. �All
right, why don't we take five, then.
564
00:44:24,857 --> 00:44:29,370
Take five. -Holy crap.
Jesus. �And you're...
565
00:44:29,495 --> 00:44:31,898
How many days of
straight shooting you have?
566
00:44:33,733 --> 00:44:35,733
Don't ask me that.
567
00:45:22,749 --> 00:45:24,559
The international
narco trafficker
568
00:45:24,684 --> 00:45:27,261
Tom Vitale was arrested
in Amsterdam just recently.
569
00:45:27,386 --> 00:45:30,665
On examination at the local
precinct, they found he'd swallowed
570
00:45:30,790 --> 00:45:33,659
a record-breaking
90 bolitas of cocaine.
571
00:45:35,062 --> 00:45:40,808
What made it into the shows was, as far as
I was concerned, the least interesting...
572
00:45:40,933 --> 00:45:46,873
parts of the trip. �Welcome to
another episode of 24-Hour Fuck-over.
573
00:45:51,511 --> 00:45:56,424
He was a control freak in a lot of ways.
�You couldn't win an argument with him.
574
00:45:56,549 --> 00:45:59,494
Just because there was an idea,
he would challenge it.
575
00:45:59,619 --> 00:46:03,641
Do you have any lines for me? �Maybe you
can feed me something. �Rome at dusk...
576
00:46:03,766 --> 00:46:08,269
Rome at dusk. There's really no place like
it, is there? �Uh, romance is in the air.
577
00:46:08,394 --> 00:46:11,006
Who says that? -We're here for two days.
�When? When at any point in my life
578
00:46:11,131 --> 00:46:14,943
have I ever said that? �Occasionally
you feel inspired and you say something
579
00:46:15,068 --> 00:46:20,506
really nice that makes me
tear up. �Not today, I guess.
580
00:46:23,409 --> 00:46:24,719
Well, I would say his barometer
581
00:46:24,844 --> 00:46:26,454
for bullshit in general
was extremely sensitive.
582
00:46:26,579 --> 00:46:28,423
But if he felt
we were bullshitting,
583
00:46:28,548 --> 00:46:30,725
I mean, that's like kind of
the ultimate sin, right?
584
00:46:30,850 --> 00:46:34,262
You're gonna walk down along the
canal... You'd have to sort of
585
00:46:34,387 --> 00:46:39,267
lead from behind with him. �What
kind of fascist regime is this?
586
00:46:39,392 --> 00:46:42,737
Because when Tony wanted
to leave, Tony would leave.
587
00:46:42,862 --> 00:46:45,473
I mean, stopping him
had to be physical.
588
00:46:45,598 --> 00:46:51,879
Like putting my body in between him and
the escape route. �Keep him away from me.
589
00:46:52,004 --> 00:46:54,004
No, no, no.
590
00:47:02,415 --> 00:47:06,452
Yeah, I've had enough,
man. �Too, too fucked-up.
591
00:47:07,553 --> 00:47:09,822
Well, my day's ruined.
592
00:47:13,126 --> 00:47:16,370
Really? -No. �All right. Goodbye.
-I'm gonna burst into tears.
593
00:47:16,495 --> 00:47:19,507
Yeah, that's pretty good, huh?
In the beginning, it was just
594
00:47:19,632 --> 00:47:24,378
Chris and Lydia shooting with him.
�They did that for several years
595
00:47:24,503 --> 00:47:26,647
and then brought in
a whole team of people,
596
00:47:26,772 --> 00:47:32,687
many of them who stuck around to
the end. �This is for you. �Oh!
597
00:47:32,812 --> 00:47:37,358
You might need this later.
-Oh, I will. It was pretty much
598
00:47:37,483 --> 00:47:42,463
the most formative years of
my life. �There will be blood.
599
00:47:42,588 --> 00:47:49,037
There were these battling sort of teams on
the show. �Hi, Diane. -Diane. �Hey! Hey!
600
00:47:49,162 --> 00:47:54,408
Zach introduced a little something called
the-the lens change. I think Tony liked me
601
00:47:54,533 --> 00:47:57,913
for a couple reasons. �One was that,
you know, I enjoyed fucking with Tony.
602
00:47:58,038 --> 00:48:01,415
You know? I mean, it was... �Uh, we all
sort of fucked with him in our own ways.
603
00:48:01,540 --> 00:48:06,387
You know, it was very competitive, and so
the bar got pushed every single episode.
604
00:48:06,512 --> 00:48:10,525
Tony was in on everything. �Every
show was something that was important.
605
00:48:10,650 --> 00:48:16,455
Every show had his care in it. �Every
show potentially had his wrath.
606
00:48:18,824 --> 00:48:23,696
I mean, how many emails I got,
"Tell editor to un-fuck itself."
607
00:48:24,597 --> 00:48:26,641
And I had to translate that
to the editor.
608
00:48:26,766 --> 00:48:31,470
He would say that
the greatest sin is mediocrity.
609
00:48:33,140 --> 00:48:36,651
"Aspiring to mediocrity.
"There is a grim, inevitable
610
00:48:36,776 --> 00:48:39,487
"and all too predictable
trajectory
611
00:48:39,612 --> 00:48:41,990
"to the passage of
a good episode of television.
612
00:48:42,115 --> 00:48:44,659
"People aren't as stupid
as your minions clearly believe.
613
00:48:44,784 --> 00:48:47,996
"They don't need the truth "pounded
home with meaningless platitudes
614
00:48:48,121 --> 00:48:54,569
"or bland, generic sum-ups. �They'll get
it." �And it goes on for several pages.
615
00:48:54,694 --> 00:49:00,541
"Don't empower these squirrel-balled
nerds "by letting them get their way.
616
00:49:00,666 --> 00:49:05,004
"They will then nibble this show
to death "like hungry ducks.
617
00:49:06,005 --> 00:49:11,485
As always, best wishes and respect,
Tony." �And this was written to somebody
618
00:49:11,610 --> 00:49:14,513
he truly liked and respected.
619
00:49:18,017 --> 00:49:20,828
It bothered him
if everyone liked the show.
620
00:49:20,953 --> 00:49:25,533
He was like, "It should create
conversation." �How old is he?
621
00:49:25,658 --> 00:49:29,893
D-Does he even remember the
planes? �He was a child.
622
00:49:30,896 --> 00:49:34,042
He doesn't remember. �Doesn't
remember. All these years...
623
00:49:34,167 --> 00:49:36,111
He was a shockingly
countercultural voice.
624
00:49:36,236 --> 00:49:39,614
I mean, so many of the countries
I worked in with him
625
00:49:39,739 --> 00:49:44,619
were still dealing with the fallout
from whatever America had done.
626
00:49:44,744 --> 00:49:48,190
For him, it's losing everything,
uh, because he's the...
627
00:49:48,315 --> 00:49:53,461
the head of the family, feeding
the family. �Um, so after losing
628
00:49:53,586 --> 00:49:59,259
his arms and his legs, uh, it's-it's
a great disaster for his life.
629
00:50:02,129 --> 00:50:09,044
Uh, he wants to know if you are afraid
of seeing the-the reality. �Ah. Afraid?
630
00:50:09,169 --> 00:50:14,882
Um, uh, no. �It-it hurts, but
I think that's appropriate.
631
00:50:15,007 --> 00:50:16,919
You know, it should.
I think Americans...
632
00:50:17,044 --> 00:50:21,647
every American should see
the results of war.
633
00:50:22,382 --> 00:50:24,950
I think it's, uh...
634
00:50:26,053 --> 00:50:31,258
...the least I can do is to-to
see the world with open eyes.
635
00:50:43,803 --> 00:50:49,850
You'll notice that, in general, I'm not
myself. �Where's the snark, the attitude?
636
00:50:49,975 --> 00:50:53,612
Well, what do you say to this?
637
00:50:56,249 --> 00:50:58,751
I honestly don't know.
638
00:51:02,322 --> 00:51:08,794
People are not statistics. �Surely there's
value in-in showing the little things.
639
00:51:11,064 --> 00:51:14,101
How's business for her?
Uh, can you ask her?
640
00:51:15,268 --> 00:51:18,146
Not re... not really good
this time. �Not good? -No.
641
00:51:18,271 --> 00:51:21,716
I mean, the country's situation, people
don't have any income, any money,
642
00:51:21,841 --> 00:51:25,153
so they can't buy food in the
street. �So you can imagine that.
643
00:51:25,278 --> 00:51:28,991
That, see... that why you see a
lot of guys here begging, you know.
644
00:51:29,116 --> 00:51:32,626
"Can you buy me some food? Can you
give me something?" The biggest issue
645
00:51:32,751 --> 00:51:36,231
that we dealt with
was trying to be,
646
00:51:36,356 --> 00:51:39,667
you know, the fly on the wall
and-and going into a place
647
00:51:39,792 --> 00:51:41,902
and not having an effect.
648
00:51:42,027 --> 00:51:46,707
Like, this episode is a prime
example of just trying to help,
649
00:51:46,832 --> 00:51:49,136
and it rearing its ugly head.
650
00:51:50,836 --> 00:51:52,180
We have all this leftover food.
651
00:51:52,305 --> 00:51:55,808
Tony's like, "Let's just
give it to the people here."
652
00:51:58,044 --> 00:52:03,150
You know, they're hungry,
and of course mayhem ensued.
653
00:52:05,818 --> 00:52:07,996
Larger kids were just, like,
throwing younger kids
654
00:52:08,121 --> 00:52:13,460
out of the line,
and it was a very ugly scenario.
655
00:52:25,004 --> 00:52:29,217
I think Tony ultimately saw
that it wasn't just food.
656
00:52:29,342 --> 00:52:33,989
There's suffering in this world,
and that seems to be omnipresent.
657
00:52:34,114 --> 00:52:36,358
How do you spend time
with people
658
00:52:36,483 --> 00:52:39,361
and-and-and you empathize
with their plight...
659
00:52:39,486 --> 00:52:45,666
How does that not change you
fundamentally? �Whee. Whee.
660
00:52:45,791 --> 00:52:49,294
You going to outer space? �Yes.
661
00:52:50,763 --> 00:52:55,709
Going higher. He was
traveling 250 days a year,
662
00:52:55,834 --> 00:52:57,079
and, you know,
when you come back home,
663
00:52:57,204 --> 00:52:59,272
you have to be a husband,
you have to be a father.
664
00:53:01,874 --> 00:53:06,979
With the little time he
had, he was very attentive.
665
00:53:08,148 --> 00:53:11,084
Sandcastles on the beach,
all day long.
666
00:53:18,857 --> 00:53:23,871
I think it was a surprise and
shock for him, that late in life,
667
00:53:23,996 --> 00:53:28,410
to experience that kind of
love. �Can I use this hand?
668
00:53:28,535 --> 00:53:31,913
That's okay. Use that hand. �We'll pull
that out and use that hand for the crumbs.
669
00:53:32,038 --> 00:53:38,752
It's okay. It moved him to his core.
�And I think he was constantly aware
670
00:53:38,877 --> 00:53:41,880
of, like, not wanting
to screw it up.
671
00:53:43,015 --> 00:53:44,892
Are you really in this country
right now, or is this a mirage?
672
00:53:45,017 --> 00:53:49,730
I-I am my stunt double. �Couldn't
you get someone better-looking?
673
00:53:49,855 --> 00:53:54,169
Yeah. Oh! Fans of the show think he had
674
00:53:54,294 --> 00:53:56,938
the greatest job in the world,
but it was one that
675
00:53:57,063 --> 00:53:59,107
there was no way
to ever escape from.
676
00:53:59,232 --> 00:54:02,944
Couldn't really go home for a
day and not be �Anthony Bourdain.
677
00:54:03,069 --> 00:54:06,181
What kind are you making?
�Cookie. What's the best kind?
678
00:54:06,306 --> 00:54:09,276
I don't know. Uh, are you
observing child labor laws?
679
00:54:10,876 --> 00:54:12,820
His daughter
used to do this joke
680
00:54:12,945 --> 00:54:14,322
where she would get up and say,
"I'm Anthony Bourdain."
681
00:54:14,447 --> 00:54:18,460
Hi. My name's Anthony Bourdain. "You
may know me from such TV shows as..."
682
00:54:18,585 --> 00:54:24,332
Maybe you know me from such shows
as, uh... She knew that her father
683
00:54:24,457 --> 00:54:28,794
and Anthony Bourdain
were very separate entities.
684
00:54:31,231 --> 00:54:35,033
You're picking that nose
pretty hard there, young lady.
685
00:54:36,303 --> 00:54:42,017
Oh! God! "I'm through being cool.
"Or, more accurately, I'm through
686
00:54:42,142 --> 00:54:43,952
"entertaining the notion
that anybody could even
687
00:54:44,077 --> 00:54:47,088
"consider the possibility
of coolness emanating from
688
00:54:47,213 --> 00:54:52,127
or residing anywhere near me."
�Everybody kick to the camera.
689
00:54:52,252 --> 00:54:58,967
Hi-yah! "The essence of cool,
after all, "is not giving a fuck.
690
00:54:59,092 --> 00:55:02,928
And let's face it, I most
definitely give a fuck now."
691
00:55:04,664 --> 00:55:08,510
You know, my whole life, I was like a kid
with my nose pressed against the glass,
692
00:55:08,635 --> 00:55:10,844
like, wondering, you know,
"What must it be like to, like,
693
00:55:10,969 --> 00:55:14,182
"have a kid and, you know,
a normal family
694
00:55:14,307 --> 00:55:16,817
"and-and stand in the backyard
with this silly apron,
695
00:55:16,942 --> 00:55:18,920
you know, barbecuing burgers?"
696
00:55:19,045 --> 00:55:22,057
And so when I find... -Can I get a
picture of that? ...when I find myself
697
00:55:22,182 --> 00:55:26,261
doing that, I am, like,
ridiculously, stupid happy.
698
00:55:26,386 --> 00:55:28,430
Like, I do a lot of
pretty cool shit now.
699
00:55:28,555 --> 00:55:30,398
I travel all over the world,
I see all these amazing things,
700
00:55:30,523 --> 00:55:34,302
but I'm never happier than when
I'm standing in-in the backyard
701
00:55:34,427 --> 00:55:39,941
being, like, TV dad,
because... �I-I feel normal.
702
00:55:40,066 --> 00:55:43,401
You know? Whatever the hell that
means. �Yeah, what does that mean?
703
00:55:44,671 --> 00:55:49,317
I live a very strange life. �I try
to make up for it when I go home
704
00:55:49,442 --> 00:55:53,054
by cooking aggressively. �Like, I try
to kill people around me with food.
705
00:55:53,179 --> 00:55:57,215
You know, like, "Eat, eat, you know. �Why
aren't you eating? Don't you love me?"
706
00:55:58,351 --> 00:56:02,163
He straddled the world of
being the domestic guy,
707
00:56:02,288 --> 00:56:06,101
but that pull for
the experience outside...
708
00:56:06,226 --> 00:56:08,570
you know, like as if
it was gonna slip away
709
00:56:08,695 --> 00:56:12,432
if he wasn't there...
was equally as great.
710
00:56:15,535 --> 00:56:19,914
He was always rushing. �He
was rushing everywhere.
711
00:56:20,039 --> 00:56:23,985
He was rushing to get into the scene.
�He was rushing to get out of the scene.
712
00:56:24,110 --> 00:56:26,054
Rushing to get
out of the country.
713
00:56:26,179 --> 00:56:31,084
Rushing to go somewhere next,
even if he had nowhere to go.
714
00:56:43,329 --> 00:56:47,342
? Making time... ?
Traveling the Earth alone
715
00:56:47,467 --> 00:56:49,411
is what I'm accustomed to
being on a tour.
716
00:56:49,536 --> 00:56:55,083
And as fathers, we bonded over
that feeling and feeling like,
717
00:56:55,208 --> 00:56:57,085
"I'm here to give
a piece of myself away."
718
00:56:57,210 --> 00:57:01,889
And, um, as the years go on, that can
be difficult. ? Everybody leaving... ?
719
00:57:02,014 --> 00:57:03,491
Close.
-The wind. That was the wind.
720
00:57:03,616 --> 00:57:09,097
Right. We got to, we got to, you
know, factor that in. �There we go.
721
00:57:09,222 --> 00:57:12,567
And we just hit it off. �What
do you call an eternal optimist?
722
00:57:12,692 --> 00:57:14,692
An accordion player
with a beeper.
723
00:57:16,196 --> 00:57:20,108
It's hard to make friends. �To
be at the tip of the spear,
724
00:57:20,233 --> 00:57:26,047
it's like asking for
loneliness. �Oh! �Oh, yeah.
725
00:57:26,172 --> 00:57:28,172
That motherfucker
bled out already.
726
00:57:29,042 --> 00:57:32,020
Straight to the jugular.
? Closing your eyes ?
727
00:57:32,145 --> 00:57:37,392
? Making more excuses ?
? Pulling the wool... ?
728
00:57:37,517 --> 00:57:39,517
Yeah. -Can you make it three?
729
00:57:41,554 --> 00:57:43,498
Well, cheers to that. -Cheers.
730
00:57:43,623 --> 00:57:48,570
I always think of, "Yo, ho, ho, a pirate's
life for me." �That's-that's what I think.
731
00:57:48,695 --> 00:57:52,006
I mean, that's... �But you've
been, you've been touring for...?
732
00:57:52,131 --> 00:57:56,378
Since I was 18, yeah. �You
know? �You know, but it's weird.
733
00:57:56,503 --> 00:57:59,114
I-I'm home for... I'm
ridiculously happy for a week,
734
00:57:59,239 --> 00:58:02,050
and then I start getting, like, crazy,
like I should be doing something.
735
00:58:02,175 --> 00:58:06,421
I call it the bittersweet curse.
�Nothing feels better than going home.
736
00:58:06,546 --> 00:58:08,681
And nothing feels better
than leaving home.
737
00:58:10,316 --> 00:58:12,585
Yeah, you got a point.
-You know?
738
00:58:21,361 --> 00:58:25,565
I loved watching him pick up influence
as he went along through life.
739
00:58:27,567 --> 00:58:32,272
He's a great American storyteller,
and he started off as a voyeur.
740
00:58:35,408 --> 00:58:40,622
He's watching these and detailing these
great tales of what you're seeing.
741
00:58:40,747 --> 00:58:45,260
And then, all of a sudden, he's starting
to live those stories that he's telling.
742
00:58:45,385 --> 00:58:48,087
He's starting to look inside.
743
00:58:59,465 --> 00:59:05,836
"I think I said earlier "that I was gonna
tell you the truth. "This is part of it.
744
00:59:07,840 --> 00:59:11,219
"I was unqualified for the job.
745
00:59:11,344 --> 00:59:15,081
"I was in deep waters
and fast-flowing ones at that.
746
00:59:16,482 --> 00:59:19,619
The currents could change
at any time without warning."
747
00:59:21,688 --> 00:59:25,500
"Like a lot of travelers, I started to
turn inward "from the view out the window,
748
00:59:25,625 --> 00:59:30,229
"started to see what was going on out
there through an ever-narrowing lens."
749
00:59:32,332 --> 00:59:36,511
It is written that I should be
loyal to the nightmare of my choice.
750
00:59:36,636 --> 00:59:39,472
I think I now understand
what that means.
751
00:59:44,510 --> 00:59:49,657
You want to be my pilot? �Yeah.
�I don't see what the problem is.
752
00:59:49,782 --> 00:59:51,782
Weather looks fine to me.
753
00:59:53,586 --> 00:59:55,755
I'm sure we'll be fine.
754
00:59:57,924 --> 01:00:03,571
Wow. Nice. �Security situation
good, weather not so good.
755
01:00:03,696 --> 01:00:05,440
Are you frightened, by the way?
756
01:00:05,565 --> 01:00:09,867
Yeah, look at him. Look at him. He's
scared shitless. �I don't like flying.
757
01:00:16,476 --> 01:00:20,455
I think that the Congo
was, without question,
758
01:00:20,580 --> 01:00:24,158
the most dangerous place
we ever made the show.
759
01:00:24,283 --> 01:00:26,327
It was something
that couldn't be done.
760
01:00:26,452 --> 01:00:28,596
That was a big part of it, and
we're always gonna figure out
761
01:00:28,721 --> 01:00:31,524
a way to do something
that couldn't be done.
762
01:00:32,592 --> 01:00:38,306
Everyone gets everything he
wants. �I wanted to see the Congo.
763
01:00:38,431 --> 01:00:41,334
And for my sins, they let me.
764
01:00:42,468 --> 01:00:48,516
This is a place I read about as a boy. �In
Heart of Darkness, Conrad described it as
765
01:00:48,641 --> 01:00:50,652
a twisting snake with its head
in the Atlantic Ocean
766
01:00:50,777 --> 01:00:54,480
and its tail buried deep
in Africa's heart.
767
01:00:55,348 --> 01:00:58,459
Congo was a fulfillment
of an enormous dream.
768
01:00:58,584 --> 01:01:03,189
In our little fantasy, we were
having our Apocalypse Now moment.
769
01:01:03,923 --> 01:01:09,529
We've rented a trusty vessel, and I
shall dub thee the Captain Willard.
770
01:01:12,565 --> 01:01:14,475
Tony was finding ways
771
01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:18,680
to push himself towards his not
just understanding of the world
772
01:01:18,805 --> 01:01:25,186
but understanding of himself. �Are
you an assassin? �I'm a soldier.
773
01:01:25,311 --> 01:01:31,826
It's like, which character is he in that
film? �They say my methods are unsound.
774
01:01:31,951 --> 01:01:34,520
Are my methods unsound?
775
01:01:35,421 --> 01:01:39,634
Do you think my methods are unsound? �I
haven't seen any method at all, Colonel.
776
01:01:39,759 --> 01:01:45,707
In Congo, he got to be someone who has
pushed himself into the lunacy of a world
777
01:01:45,832 --> 01:01:51,779
without law, without order, without
structure. He got to stand there
778
01:01:51,904 --> 01:01:55,842
with a three-foot machete and direct
the assassination of chickens.
779
01:02:01,581 --> 01:02:04,692
When you get
really deep into travel,
780
01:02:04,817 --> 01:02:06,427
I think there's an itch
that you want to scratch
781
01:02:06,552 --> 01:02:11,524
that is out on the edge of that
envelope, where chaos rules.
782
01:02:12,658 --> 01:02:17,405
Because it strips away all of
the functional artifice of
783
01:02:17,530 --> 01:02:24,003
how we go through our life, and it leaves
you with just the sensory experience.
784
01:02:47,094 --> 01:02:50,405
Anthony Bourdain, the renowned
chef and best-selling author,
785
01:02:50,530 --> 01:02:54,876
has a new program, Parts Unknown,
and it showcases Bourdain's gift
786
01:02:55,001 --> 01:03:00,916
for finding the essence of a country or
a culture. �Is it about the journalism,
787
01:03:01,041 --> 01:03:05,319
or is it about the tourism? �Is it
about the people? Is it about the food?
788
01:03:05,444 --> 01:03:08,589
It's a strange combination
of food, politics
789
01:03:08,714 --> 01:03:10,858
and a decisively personal
point of view.
790
01:03:10,983 --> 01:03:13,761
His reports from Israel,
the Palestinian territories,
791
01:03:13,886 --> 01:03:18,566
Mexico and Lyon, France, were
simply superb. He's traveled roughly
792
01:03:18,691 --> 01:03:24,006
662.000 miles... around the globe
793
01:03:24,131 --> 01:03:28,977
26 times. �Uh, you know, I actually went
to Tangier because you had gone there.
794
01:03:29,102 --> 01:03:31,102
And you've had
a big impact on me.
795
01:03:32,471 --> 01:03:34,582
Tony was very aware
796
01:03:34,707 --> 01:03:41,056
of his own ability to promote other
people's voices. �But I do think that,
797
01:03:41,181 --> 01:03:45,760
even though we moved to CNN, he
won a Peabody and several Emmys,
798
01:03:45,885 --> 01:03:50,623
he began to question who was
benefiting from these shows.
799
01:04:03,502 --> 01:04:06,380
Okay, so we're just gonna
set up a shot with the TV.
800
01:04:06,505 --> 01:04:10,910
Me laying on the bed, watching
CNN. �Okay. -Libya news.
801
01:04:13,779 --> 01:04:18,526
This is CNN. �It is Friday, January the
25th. �I'm Kristie Lu Stout. This is...
802
01:04:18,651 --> 01:04:24,398
I'm not a news fan. �I'm not a journalist.
�I'm not an advocate. I'm not an educator.
803
01:04:24,523 --> 01:04:28,836
I'm not looking to inspire or, uh...
�I don't have a political agenda.
804
01:04:28,961 --> 01:04:30,705
If anything, I like very much
going to a place
805
01:04:30,830 --> 01:04:35,066
thinking one thing and being
completely wrong about all of it.
806
01:04:45,145 --> 01:04:50,981
He was a journalist and he was
political, but he was a storyteller.
807
01:04:51,817 --> 01:04:56,689
And he didn't realize, I
think, how political he was.
808
01:04:59,092 --> 01:05:04,605
We tend to see places in the Middle
East and Africa in particular...
809
01:05:04,730 --> 01:05:07,566
we only see them
when bad things happen.
810
01:05:11,637 --> 01:05:13,881
If you just follow the news,
you'll be reminded about
811
01:05:14,006 --> 01:05:17,019
kidnappings in Algeria,
unrest in Tunisia,
812
01:05:17,144 --> 01:05:20,923
terrorist cells to the south,
deadly riots in Egypt,
813
01:05:21,048 --> 01:05:26,752
and of course Islamic extremist attacks in
Benghazi that killed the U.S. ambassador.
814
01:05:27,920 --> 01:05:31,666
All those things
are very real concerns.
815
01:05:31,791 --> 01:05:33,868
But if you only look
at what's on the news,
816
01:05:33,993 --> 01:05:37,097
you can miss maybe
what's a bigger picture.
817
01:05:53,779 --> 01:05:58,893
You can literally see it as he goes
and travels more and more and more.
818
01:05:59,018 --> 01:06:02,998
It was almost never about food, you
know? �I think it was about Tony
819
01:06:03,123 --> 01:06:05,558
learning how to be
a better person.
820
01:06:07,760 --> 01:06:14,475
You know, I try to emulate Christ in
small ways every day. �You do? �Yeah.
821
01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:19,047
Can't you tell? �And I mean that in a,
in a completely non-disrespectful way.
822
01:06:19,172 --> 01:06:23,218
No, no, I can imagine.
�I mean, you're trying.
823
01:06:23,343 --> 01:06:27,055
You are inspiring so many people with
the show. �You have a good karma.
824
01:06:27,180 --> 01:06:32,183
Can't believe you say that.
�Yeah. -Good karma? �I think so.
825
01:06:32,885 --> 01:06:34,885
Well...
826
01:06:35,855 --> 01:06:39,201
Doesn't this concern you... -This
is a good karma. ...as a Buddhist?
827
01:06:39,326 --> 01:06:42,603
Look we're sitting here in Provence.
-Yeah. �So? -Wait a minute.
828
01:06:42,728 --> 01:06:44,006
We just had this fantastic meal.
-Yeah.
829
01:06:44,131 --> 01:06:47,842
We're moving on
to the 2011 after the 2010.
830
01:06:47,967 --> 01:06:51,445
Life, admittedly for you,
has been pretty sweet. �Yeah.
831
01:06:51,570 --> 01:06:53,982
Isn't that worrying to you?
-No.
832
01:06:54,107 --> 01:06:55,883
We're sitting in Provence.
It's like a wine label.
833
01:06:56,008 --> 01:07:00,621
The next life cannot possibly be better
than this. �It's probably gonna suck.
834
01:07:00,746 --> 01:07:05,726
Enjoy every minute of this now, Eric.
�And pray. �Pray, pray that this is it,
835
01:07:05,851 --> 01:07:09,697
because if you're right and there is
a next life, we are fucked, my friend.
836
01:07:09,822 --> 01:07:14,568
I may come back as a sea cucumber, but
you're coming back as, like, a Yorkie.
837
01:07:14,693 --> 01:07:19,041
Or, you know, if you're
lucky. �I'll take the Yorkie.
838
01:07:19,166 --> 01:07:23,979
At the end of the day, Tony's dark
as fuck, man. �Give you an example.
839
01:07:24,104 --> 01:07:26,580
Like, everyone asked
Tony's fucking favorite music,
840
01:07:26,705 --> 01:07:28,816
and he would always give
the same bullshit answers,
841
01:07:28,941 --> 01:07:32,653
like, uh, uh, "96 Mysterios"
or that fucking song.
842
01:07:32,778 --> 01:07:37,692
He loved that song. -"96 Tears." "96
Tears." �And he loved, um, "Super Fly"
843
01:07:37,817 --> 01:07:43,722
and, um, and Curtis Mayfield's soundtrack.
�There's no downers in the fucking bunch.
844
01:07:45,024 --> 01:07:49,929
This was what Tony told me
was his favorite song.
845
01:07:59,239 --> 01:08:01,239
He loved this fucking song.
846
01:08:19,426 --> 01:08:23,263
It's a great song.
�But it's heroin music.
847
01:08:30,403 --> 01:08:33,614
In the early '70s, this is where I lived.
848
01:08:33,739 --> 01:08:37,752
You know, back then, if you brought us
heroin, we would've said, "Ah, cool.
849
01:08:37,877 --> 01:08:40,088
I'll totally... I would like
to try some of that."
850
01:08:40,213 --> 01:08:43,325
It wasn't like I fell into it
or accidentally got addicted
851
01:08:43,450 --> 01:08:47,254
or, you know, "Oh, really, it's addicting?
�Gee, how'd that happen?" No, I knew.
852
01:08:48,121 --> 01:08:51,766
He never really dealt with the
insecurity and all the issues
853
01:08:51,891 --> 01:08:54,827
that put him
down that road to begin with.
854
01:08:56,396 --> 01:08:59,107
You know, it's a lot easier when
you talk to Choe about this,
855
01:08:59,232 --> 01:09:03,111
'cause, like, that motherfucker is
so dark. ? Flying over my head... ?
856
01:09:03,236 --> 01:09:07,315
People forget Anthony Bourdain was
a junkie. �Like, he's a drug addict,
857
01:09:07,440 --> 01:09:10,874
and I'm also a junkie. �I don't do
drugs, but I do everything else.
858
01:09:11,777 --> 01:09:15,323
Overeaters Anonymous, Debtors Anonymous,
Gamblers Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous,
859
01:09:15,448 --> 01:09:18,893
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.
�Uh, I-I go to all the meetings.
860
01:09:19,018 --> 01:09:24,698
I'll tell you something really shameful
about myself. �The first time I shot up,
861
01:09:24,823 --> 01:09:26,968
I looked at myself
in the mirror with a big grin.
862
01:09:27,093 --> 01:09:29,905
You know,
something was missing in me.
863
01:09:30,030 --> 01:09:31,973
Some part of me
wanted to be a dope fiend.
864
01:09:32,098 --> 01:09:36,111
My whole life was leading up
to that point. In my mind,
865
01:09:36,236 --> 01:09:40,839
it was my first step
towards being an artist.
866
01:09:41,840 --> 01:09:43,784
Do you think a-a certain level
of dissatisfaction
867
01:09:43,909 --> 01:09:46,955
or unhappiness is an integral
part of the creative process?
868
01:09:47,080 --> 01:09:48,856
I think
even great art can be created
869
01:09:48,981 --> 01:09:52,260
when you're happy, but I think
the best art in the universe
870
01:09:52,385 --> 01:09:59,367
is created through intense suffering. �So
then, do you put yourself in a situation
871
01:09:59,492 --> 01:10:02,128
where you're constantly in pain?
872
01:10:03,396 --> 01:10:07,708
And the answer to that question is yes.
�That's just about everybody I know.
873
01:10:07,833 --> 01:10:09,969
I don't know
what this says about me.
874
01:10:13,139 --> 01:10:16,218
I think it was one of the first
conversations I ever had with him.
875
01:10:16,343 --> 01:10:20,021
I was like, "Hey, I know I'm just meeting
you, "but I-I don't know one heroin addict
876
01:10:20,146 --> 01:10:25,151
"that has quit cold turkey besides
you. �Tell me how you did it."
877
01:10:26,386 --> 01:10:32,400
I got through, but, you know, my case, it
was like �I looked in a mirror and I...
878
01:10:32,525 --> 01:10:34,902
I saw somebody worth saving, um,
879
01:10:35,027 --> 01:10:40,741
or that I wanted to at least
try real hard and save. �Um...
880
01:10:40,866 --> 01:10:45,436
you know, nobody... nobody saved me.
881
01:10:46,439 --> 01:10:48,974
And he goes, "You just work."
882
01:10:50,310 --> 01:10:53,989
When he told me that, I bought
into it when I first met him.
883
01:10:54,114 --> 01:10:59,327
And then as I got to know him
more, I realized it jumped.
884
01:10:59,452 --> 01:11:01,452
The addiction jumped.
885
01:11:08,228 --> 01:11:14,234
When he threw himself into something,
he threw himself completely.
886
01:11:15,368 --> 01:11:18,812
Jujitsu was a good one
because he got super healthy.
887
01:11:18,937 --> 01:11:24,342
He looked great. He stopped smoking.
�He felt energized. �He felt powerful.
888
01:11:24,910 --> 01:11:30,091
Oh. �Abort. I started at 58.
889
01:11:30,216 --> 01:11:33,794
My wife is a fairly high-level
competitor and, uh, trains every...
890
01:11:33,919 --> 01:11:38,366
Higher level than you are? �W-Way,
way beyond where I'll ever be. -Yeah.
891
01:11:38,491 --> 01:11:43,430
Ottavia wanted to be able to kill
anyone who came at their daughter.
892
01:11:45,998 --> 01:11:48,009
So that's where
the initial jujitsu interest
893
01:11:48,134 --> 01:11:51,379
in that family came from,
and it was a good thing for Tony
894
01:11:51,504 --> 01:11:53,504
to be obsessed with for a while.
895
01:11:54,441 --> 01:11:57,385
There is this aspect
of problem-solving
896
01:11:57,510 --> 01:12:03,058
under pressure that it was really
appealing to him. �Step over!
897
01:12:03,183 --> 01:12:06,127
But anyone who gets into jujitsu
becomes, like, impossible to be around.
898
01:12:06,252 --> 01:12:12,100
I know because... from experience.
At a certain point, you're like,
899
01:12:12,225 --> 01:12:14,868
"Dude, come on, stop talking
about fucking jujitsu."
900
01:12:14,993 --> 01:12:19,074
I don't know anything about jujitsu.
�Like, I can't have this conversation,
901
01:12:19,199 --> 01:12:23,969
and yet I'm on like hour 150
talking to you about jujitsu.
902
01:12:25,271 --> 01:12:31,544
I mean, his attention and focus was so
strong, but there was always a timeline.
903
01:12:32,512 --> 01:12:37,025
I don't think there was anything that
would have lasted forever in his world.
904
01:12:37,150 --> 01:12:40,587
No person, place,
thing, interest.
905
01:12:42,122 --> 01:12:45,991
I have to show you first.
�Can-can I show you once? Okay.
906
01:12:47,127 --> 01:12:49,127
Then you skip one
and you go down.
907
01:12:50,028 --> 01:12:54,532
Then you skip one and you go down.
�Then you come back up and...
908
01:12:56,035 --> 01:12:59,314
It always seemed like
what he wanted was,
909
01:12:59,439 --> 01:13:03,851
you know, this, uh, idyllic
picture of, like, you know,
910
01:13:03,976 --> 01:13:09,057
a family and ordinary life. �No.
-Come on, you were doing it...
911
01:13:09,182 --> 01:13:15,497
But then when he got it,
I don't know if it was...
912
01:13:15,622 --> 01:13:21,361
I don't know. �Yeah. �After a while,
maybe that wasn't enough anymore.
913
01:13:25,165 --> 01:13:29,911
You devoted your book to family.
�Yep. �The joys of being normal.
914
01:13:30,036 --> 01:13:32,614
And now you've-you've split.
�Yep. -So I just, like...
915
01:13:32,739 --> 01:13:34,482
are you rethinking about
being normal
916
01:13:34,607 --> 01:13:36,384
or where's your...
-Well, I mean, what is normal?
917
01:13:36,509 --> 01:13:38,920
I think, you know, what does
the American family look like?
918
01:13:39,045 --> 01:13:44,484
I mean, I travel 250 days a year. �You
know, how normal could I ever hope to be?
919
01:13:54,761 --> 01:14:01,576
Tony and I had been pretty much living
separate under the same roof for...
920
01:14:01,701 --> 01:14:03,701
for quite some time.
921
01:14:06,706 --> 01:14:10,652
You know, even if we didn't work
out as a married couple, you know,
922
01:14:10,777 --> 01:14:15,114
we're still really good friends
and our focus was Ariane.
923
01:14:17,817 --> 01:14:21,663
That romantic love
kind of dissipated
924
01:14:21,788 --> 01:14:27,525
after he started traveling so intensely,
and then we couldn't follow him.
925
01:14:34,834 --> 01:14:39,537
It flowers once every
five years. �That's all.
926
01:14:40,173 --> 01:14:44,177
I'll be back
before it flowers again.
927
01:14:45,111 --> 01:14:47,111
Cross my heart.
928
01:14:52,352 --> 01:14:56,431
He was devastated. �He
was losing his home base.
929
01:14:56,556 --> 01:15:00,627
And it left him
incredibly vulnerable.
930
01:15:08,635 --> 01:15:13,982
I think Tony did blame himself. �And
I think it also left him wondering
931
01:15:14,107 --> 01:15:16,409
whether or not he was lovable.
932
01:15:25,718 --> 01:15:27,529
Is it worse
to be someplace awful
933
01:15:27,654 --> 01:15:32,133
when you're by yourself
or someplace really nice
934
01:15:32,258 --> 01:15:34,294
that you can't share
with anyone?
935
01:15:40,199 --> 01:15:43,578
I mean, I have an email that
he sent me that-that haunts me
936
01:15:43,703 --> 01:15:48,606
that was just straight-up...
you know, out of the blue.
937
01:15:49,609 --> 01:15:54,255
"David, this is a crazy thing
to ask..." "...but I'm curious
938
01:15:54,380 --> 01:15:57,350
and my life
is sort of shit now."
939
01:15:58,518 --> 01:16:04,699
"You are successful and I am
successful. "And I'm wondering:
940
01:16:04,824 --> 01:16:06,824
are you happy?"
941
01:16:14,267 --> 01:16:18,246
I know how hard that must've been
for him to even write that email.
942
01:16:18,371 --> 01:16:21,906
To-to reach out to someone and be
like, "Hey, man, I'm not doing well."
943
01:16:32,518 --> 01:16:37,290
The era of his life with
his child and Ottavia...
944
01:16:38,424 --> 01:16:42,195
...I think it was sort of an
interruption of his trajectory.
945
01:16:48,434 --> 01:16:52,680
Did he change course in the last two
years? �No, he got back on track,
946
01:16:52,805 --> 01:16:55,241
which was not
the greatest track.
947
01:16:57,944 --> 01:17:04,259
Hi, Tony. How are you? �I'm all right.
Here? �Outstanding. Good. �That's awesome.
948
01:17:04,384 --> 01:17:09,697
I even brought a note... �I took
notes. �I was thinking of all my...
949
01:17:09,822 --> 01:17:12,425
all of my ailments and problems.
950
01:17:13,726 --> 01:17:19,807
I haven't done this since �I
was, um... uh, I was a teenager.
951
01:17:19,932 --> 01:17:21,376
My parents caught me with drugs,
952
01:17:21,501 --> 01:17:26,372
and as part of the deal,
I saw a therapist briefly.
953
01:17:27,473 --> 01:17:32,854
And what did you feel about it? �It's-it's
exhausting. �I mean, I do tend to have
954
01:17:32,979 --> 01:17:37,225
a sort of a manic personality.
�Everything is going really, really great
955
01:17:37,350 --> 01:17:41,362
or it's not going great. �It can happen
at any time. It's a random thing.
956
01:17:41,487 --> 01:17:44,465
One minute, I'm okay,
everything's going all right,
957
01:17:44,590 --> 01:17:46,501
and then suddenly it's...
one little thing
958
01:17:46,626 --> 01:17:49,237
just sort of sets me off,
and then I find myself,
959
01:17:49,362 --> 01:17:52,173
uh, you know,
increasingly, uh, thinking...
960
01:17:52,298 --> 01:17:54,576
I do, I do, I do,
I think about, like,
961
01:17:54,701 --> 01:17:58,646
momentary fantasies of harming
other people or myself.
962
01:17:58,771 --> 01:18:02,750
Like I want to kill somebody or
choke them or break their arms.
963
01:18:02,875 --> 01:18:07,455
Uh, I think about that a
lot. �I'd like to be happier.
964
01:18:07,580 --> 01:18:11,292
I'd like to be able to be calmer.
�I'd like to be able to relax.
965
01:18:11,417 --> 01:18:16,164
I'd like to be able to, you know, look out
the window and say, "Yay, life is good."
966
01:18:16,289 --> 01:18:18,458
And you don't? -No.
967
01:18:20,626 --> 01:18:22,829
Never?
968
01:18:24,330 --> 01:18:29,243
Uh, maybe a few seconds here
and there. �There is a line
969
01:18:29,368 --> 01:18:35,683
during your life of loneliness or-or
feeling like "I want to kill somebody."
970
01:18:35,808 --> 01:18:39,922
I think that maybe
you should start thinking,
971
01:18:40,047 --> 01:18:43,649
"Do you really want
to change anything?"
972
01:18:50,456 --> 01:18:54,660
Do you really want to-to
change the way you feel?
973
01:18:58,798 --> 01:19:00,800
I suspect it's too late.
974
01:19:06,005 --> 01:19:09,985
? I can settle down ?
975
01:19:10,110 --> 01:19:14,422
? And be doing just fine ?
976
01:19:14,547 --> 01:19:19,427
? Till I hear an old
train... ? �I love this car.
977
01:19:19,552 --> 01:19:23,698
I'm having car envy. We were both, like,
978
01:19:23,823 --> 01:19:26,726
constantly talking aboutthat movie Vanishing Point.
979
01:19:27,860 --> 01:19:30,438
He liked fast cars, as
well. �I love fast cars.
980
01:19:30,563 --> 01:19:35,601
And then we became pen pals really for
years and, um, talked about everything.
981
01:19:38,404 --> 01:19:42,517
His whole entire personality
was that of a searcher.
982
01:19:42,642 --> 01:19:46,754
I just know that he was definitely
searching for something, and-and...
983
01:19:46,879 --> 01:19:50,858
? But you gotta understand ?
...it was kind of agony for him.
984
01:19:50,983 --> 01:19:55,596
? When the Lord made me ?
985
01:19:55,721 --> 01:20:01,736
? He made a ramblin' man... ?
It's this relentless instinct
986
01:20:01,861 --> 01:20:05,606
to fuck up a good thing. �I think
it's something that people on TV,
987
01:20:05,731 --> 01:20:08,876
people who write,
people who cook, share.
988
01:20:09,001 --> 01:20:12,447
This difficulty in giving love
and receiving love...
989
01:20:12,572 --> 01:20:15,708
they just don't quite know
how to do it.
990
01:20:16,709 --> 01:20:21,914
A lot of people loved him a lot.
�I don't know if he believed it.
991
01:20:24,051 --> 01:20:27,862
So, what do you think? �I
mean, in a metaphysical way,
992
01:20:27,987 --> 01:20:31,899
when you look back on your life...
-Yeah. ...for me, I always feel
993
01:20:32,024 --> 01:20:35,703
this little unease, like, you know...
�You feel you haven't suffered enough yet
994
01:20:35,828 --> 01:20:38,539
or you haven't done enough... -How the
fuck did this happen? �Or yeah. -You know?
995
01:20:38,664 --> 01:20:42,343
How-How'd this happen, you know?
-No. �No, I know. �I'm still curious.
996
01:20:42,468 --> 01:20:45,780
You seem like a curious person. �It's
my only virtue. -You're... There you go.
997
01:20:45,905 --> 01:20:48,973
All right. �Curious
is a good thing to be.
998
01:20:50,043 --> 01:20:54,511
Given your life... what thrills you?
999
01:20:54,680 --> 01:20:57,425
What just thrills the shit
out of you now?
1000
01:20:57,550 --> 01:21:01,662
Uh, this is very embarrassing,
but... It's really embar...
1001
01:21:01,787 --> 01:21:08,461
Being loved and actually appreciating
the people that are giving that to me.
1002
01:21:18,238 --> 01:21:20,949
Whenever you guys are ready, the
cameras are rolling. -All right.
1003
01:21:21,074 --> 01:21:23,074
We're ready to go.
1004
01:21:25,078 --> 01:21:28,589
All right, you're up?
�So, uh, where are we?
1005
01:21:28,714 --> 01:21:30,125
But don't mention
the name of the place.
1006
01:21:30,250 --> 01:21:31,826
I mean, turning the napkin over...
-No. Why?
1007
01:21:31,951 --> 01:21:34,695
Well, we don't... you don't want to blow
this place up. �I don't give a shit.
1008
01:21:34,820 --> 01:21:38,000
I mean, you've been eating here for how
long? �Since I was a, since I was a kid.
1009
01:21:38,125 --> 01:21:42,570
So you would come in here and see
nothing but Americans? �Nothing but?
1010
01:21:42,695 --> 01:21:45,473
Nothing but? -Well, yeah. �I mean,
just an army of... -Well, yes,
1011
01:21:45,598 --> 01:21:50,511
so nobody busts my balls. �Okay, then.
We are at the... �So, giving up on that.
1012
01:21:50,636 --> 01:21:56,985
Okay. There we go. �H-How many generations
of filmmakers in your family? �Mm, a lot.
1013
01:21:57,110 --> 01:22:00,621
Cheers. When Tony met Asia, he's like,
1014
01:22:00,746 --> 01:22:02,723
"She's the best.
Oh, my God, she's so great."
1015
01:22:02,848 --> 01:22:05,526
You know, and, like,
when you were in high school
1016
01:22:05,651 --> 01:22:07,461
and you got laid for
the first time or something.
1017
01:22:07,586 --> 01:22:11,133
You know, I'm happiest when
life is kind of like a film.
1018
01:22:11,258 --> 01:22:17,505
So, y-you're happy in the illusion. 'Cause
film is an illusion. -Yes. �Yeah, I am.
1019
01:22:17,630 --> 01:22:19,999
No, me, too. I-I understand you.
1020
01:22:21,268 --> 01:22:24,003
He seemed
really happy with her.
1021
01:22:26,005 --> 01:22:29,985
You know, I was like, well, he
found someone he wants to be with.
1022
01:22:30,110 --> 01:22:32,110
You know, I'm happy for him.
1023
01:22:33,713 --> 01:22:35,890
He told me
that she was very insecure
1024
01:22:36,015 --> 01:22:39,194
about their relationship,
so he just asked me
1025
01:22:39,319 --> 01:22:45,633
to stop posting pictures of us on social
media. �And-and I think he really thought
1026
01:22:45,758 --> 01:22:51,597
he was doing the right thing to make sure
that the person he loved felt secure.
1027
01:22:52,631 --> 01:22:55,710
Is that a normal urge? �For
humans? -I want to be normal?
1028
01:22:55,835 --> 01:22:59,081
I want to be like everybody else? �I
kind of wanted to be like everybody else
1029
01:22:59,206 --> 01:23:02,117
when I was a kid, at least for a while.
�I-I didn't understand why I couldn't be.
1030
01:23:02,242 --> 01:23:05,887
I think people are happier when they
feel like they belong somewhere.
1031
01:23:06,012 --> 01:23:10,716
I just, I-I... -That's why I'm never
happy because I feel I never belong.
1032
01:23:15,821 --> 01:23:19,067
I knew who she was, but he
never would use her name.
1033
01:23:19,192 --> 01:23:23,205
He would say "crazy Italian
actress" in all the emails.
1034
01:23:23,330 --> 01:23:25,640
All I know is that
he wrote to me a few times
1035
01:23:25,765 --> 01:23:30,536
and said that it was gonna end very,
very badly, and that was way back.
1036
01:23:31,138 --> 01:23:34,738
Um, he knew it. �Oh!
1037
01:23:38,744 --> 01:23:40,744
I bring you to the best places.
1038
01:23:41,981 --> 01:23:48,130
Fuck Michelin. �Michelin?
His last relationship,
1039
01:23:48,255 --> 01:23:52,359
I guess when you look at it,
it's not that surprising.
1040
01:23:55,295 --> 01:24:00,100
In many ways, it feels elliptical
from the-the very beginning.
1041
01:24:02,369 --> 01:24:06,814
Now, some of you might ask, "How is
this food-related?" Fuck if I know.
1042
01:24:06,939 --> 01:24:08,816
I guess if I crushed
my skull on a rock,
1043
01:24:08,941 --> 01:24:11,811
parts of me will become
part of the food chain.
1044
01:24:13,979 --> 01:24:19,585
It was one that had, at
its center, um, extremes.
1045
01:24:20,920 --> 01:24:25,092
It's as if he can't feel
in the mid-zone.
1046
01:24:28,861 --> 01:24:32,598
You know, life is about finding
a cliff worth jumping off.
1047
01:24:34,067 --> 01:24:38,171
I felt he was like, "I'm gonna
look for something feral and wild."
1048
01:24:40,739 --> 01:24:42,550
Perhaps that is
something to do with age
1049
01:24:42,675 --> 01:24:44,844
and all of a sudden
finding yourself alone.
1050
01:24:51,318 --> 01:24:56,764
This is called, um... �Are you guys up?
-Why are you filming me? �This is called
1051
01:24:56,889 --> 01:25:00,035
"Our Wolf Lady of the Wolf
Flowers." �Ah, that's great.
1052
01:25:00,160 --> 01:25:04,638
You know, I have a-a John Lurie over
my bed. I saw. No, you posted it.
1053
01:25:04,763 --> 01:25:09,244
That was nice that you posted that. �No,
I love it. It makes me very, very happy.
1054
01:25:09,369 --> 01:25:11,971
Does it? -Yes, it does.
1055
01:25:13,473 --> 01:25:15,917
So he had
a dark sense of humor.
1056
01:25:16,042 --> 01:25:18,353
He wasn't Edgar Allan Poe.
You know what I mean? He...
1057
01:25:18,478 --> 01:25:22,656
There was a lot of light around him.
�There really was. �Bring another one.
1058
01:25:22,781 --> 01:25:24,792
No. I mean, especially, like,
I'm away and I come back
1059
01:25:24,917 --> 01:25:26,761
and I walk into my room...
-There it is, yeah, yeah.
1060
01:25:26,886 --> 01:25:29,730
I-It feels...
the room vibrates at a frequency
1061
01:25:29,855 --> 01:25:34,192
that makes me comfortable
and-and happy. �That's cool.
1062
01:25:39,765 --> 01:25:43,677
Thank you. Eggs, the perfect
food. �Thank you, sir. -Eat that.
1063
01:25:43,802 --> 01:25:47,815
We were supposed to have lunch. �And
I said, "I want to go somewhere quiet
1064
01:25:47,940 --> 01:25:51,353
where nobody knows us." �And he just
sort of stopped in his tracks and said,
1065
01:25:51,478 --> 01:25:53,480
"I'm becoming agoraphobic."
1066
01:25:56,049 --> 01:25:59,052
And then I saw
the pain in his face.
1067
01:26:02,522 --> 01:26:05,733
Maybe he needed some time away
from it all to reflect a minute
1068
01:26:05,858 --> 01:26:09,104
and then start again kind of
thing, you know? �I don't...
1069
01:26:09,229 --> 01:26:12,098
It seemed like he was about
to go on to something else.
1070
01:26:17,237 --> 01:26:21,882
His life started to feel smaller and
smaller. �He couldn't go as many places.
1071
01:26:22,007 --> 01:26:27,247
He couldn't be out in public as
much. �I could see him whittle away.
1072
01:26:30,015 --> 01:26:32,260
So, places like
the empty quarter
1073
01:26:32,385 --> 01:26:36,797
of the Arabian Desert started
to really resonate for him.
1074
01:26:36,922 --> 01:26:40,668
To just sit on the edge of
1075
01:26:40,793 --> 01:26:46,233
the largest sand desert in the
world and stare out into it...
1076
01:26:47,500 --> 01:26:53,273
...feeling like it's something that's
bigger than him and not about him.
1077
01:26:55,874 --> 01:26:59,921
He often talked about how, in an ideal
world, he wouldn't be in the show.
1078
01:27:00,046 --> 01:27:04,426
Uh, it would be his point of view,
like a camera moving through space,
1079
01:27:04,551 --> 01:27:07,420
without having
to see him at all.
1080
01:27:24,903 --> 01:27:30,185
"Travel isn't always pretty.
"You go away. You learn.
1081
01:27:30,310 --> 01:27:33,979
"You get scarred, marked,
changed in the process.
1082
01:27:36,449 --> 01:27:38,449
It even breaks your heart."
1083
01:28:03,043 --> 01:28:07,880
He was very stressed and very
weary and very exhausted.
1084
01:28:09,549 --> 01:28:14,220
He did talk about quitting. �It
happened like a couple of years ago.
1085
01:28:15,954 --> 01:28:21,902
He asked to see Chris and I at
a bar. �It was very dramatic.
1086
01:28:22,027 --> 01:28:24,973
He was like, "I can't live
my life like this anymore."
1087
01:28:25,098 --> 01:28:28,376
"I'm done. I'm done with this.
I'm done with you people.
1088
01:28:28,501 --> 01:28:30,111
"Every band comes to an end.
1089
01:28:30,236 --> 01:28:31,980
It's time for us to break up
and go our separate ways."
1090
01:28:32,105 --> 01:28:35,083
"You know,
I've broken one family.
1091
01:28:35,208 --> 01:28:38,386
"I'm in this other relationship
that I care very deeply about
1092
01:28:38,511 --> 01:28:44,526
and I want to make it work." �And Lydia
looked at Tony and said, "Then go do it.
1093
01:28:44,651 --> 01:28:50,022
"Go do it. "Don't sit here
and talk about it and whine.
1094
01:28:50,989 --> 01:28:55,237
"Get up and go. Leave.
"Move to Italy, set up.
1095
01:28:55,362 --> 01:28:58,206
We will support you.
We will be your friend. Go."
1096
01:28:58,331 --> 01:29:01,977
"Like, if you're done
with this, it's okay."
1097
01:29:02,102 --> 01:29:04,446
I don't know. Maybe he was
expecting us to, like,
1098
01:29:04,571 --> 01:29:09,942
grab him and say like, "No, don't
go. �It's not over. What can we do?"
1099
01:29:10,577 --> 01:29:12,978
He couldn't move.
1100
01:29:14,414 --> 01:29:16,416
It's really kind of sad.
1101
01:29:17,384 --> 01:29:22,288
It's like, "Then sit the fuck down
and let's talk this thing through."
1102
01:29:23,289 --> 01:29:25,833
And we said, "We'll figure out
a way to make this thing work,
1103
01:29:25,958 --> 01:29:28,161
you know, so it's good for you."
1104
01:29:33,566 --> 01:29:39,880
Okay. Here we go. "Hong Kong.
�To fall in love with Asia..."
1105
01:29:40,005 --> 01:29:44,986
Oof, Asia. "To fall in love
with Asia is one thing.
1106
01:29:45,111 --> 01:29:49,190
"To fall in love in Asia is
another. "Both have happened to me.
1107
01:29:49,315 --> 01:29:55,163
"It's a gift, a dream, a curse,
"the best thing, the happiest thing,
1108
01:29:55,288 --> 01:29:58,266
"yet also the loneliest thing
in the world.
1109
01:29:58,391 --> 01:30:03,163
"I've been to Hong Kong many
times before, but not like this."
1110
01:30:04,063 --> 01:30:06,941
If I die before
I'm 40 years old,
1111
01:30:07,066 --> 01:30:10,945
that shoot probably had something
to do with it. At the last second,
1112
01:30:11,070 --> 01:30:14,115
the director gets sick. �I
had my gallbladder removed.
1113
01:30:14,240 --> 01:30:15,483
Michael's gallbladder,
I swear to God.
1114
01:30:15,608 --> 01:30:20,622
So, obviously I can't go, and then
Tony immediately, like, sees an in.
1115
01:30:20,747 --> 01:30:27,562
He gets them to all agree that Asia
should direct this. �W-Well, like, okay.
1116
01:30:27,687 --> 01:30:30,198
In-in man... in some ways,
on this side,
1117
01:30:30,323 --> 01:30:34,969
this is giving him some kind
of, like, intense resurgence
1118
01:30:35,094 --> 01:30:41,476
of, like, creative energy. �And so
we-we ran with that. �Asia? -I think...
1119
01:30:41,601 --> 01:30:45,980
Back in one sec. �We're getting too
much good stuff... �I know, but...
1120
01:30:46,105 --> 01:30:49,017
...in too short a period of time. �Let's
mo... let's move and-and move. Yeah.
1121
01:30:49,142 --> 01:30:51,519
And w-we're getting too
much. �It's like, I mean,
1122
01:30:51,644 --> 01:30:53,154
at this point, it's like,
to everybody, I'm thinking,
1123
01:30:53,279 --> 01:30:57,392
"Stop saying so much great stuff."
�Oh, my God. -So happy. �Food's ready.
1124
01:30:57,517 --> 01:30:59,517
Asia, the food's ready.
1125
01:31:00,753 --> 01:31:07,435
It seemed like so many years of us shaping
and creating this thing, all of a sudden,
1126
01:31:07,560 --> 01:31:12,474
was thrown out the window, and it
was just, you know, anything goes.
1127
01:31:12,599 --> 01:31:14,599
So what is your...
1128
01:31:15,735 --> 01:31:20,148
...what is your hope? �What do you hope
will happen to change your situation?
1129
01:31:20,273 --> 01:31:26,654
To-to be honest, um, I'm not big fan of
hope. �Um, hope is... �Hold on one second.
1130
01:31:26,779 --> 01:31:30,425
Let me reset. In the middle
of this heartfelt scene
1131
01:31:30,550 --> 01:31:33,027
with these two asylum seekers,
we're stopping...
1132
01:31:33,152 --> 01:31:36,598
I hold my hand or h-hold the
thought? ...and telling them to hold
1133
01:31:36,723 --> 01:31:39,567
their thought and to, like, redo it, as
if we're filming a movie or something.
1134
01:31:39,692 --> 01:31:44,631
Uh, add one. -Three. 35
milli... uh, centimeters.
1135
01:31:49,469 --> 01:31:53,448
You know, breaking the natural,
heartfelt conversations
1136
01:31:53,573 --> 01:31:59,445
that are not easy conversations to have,
he would have never, ever done that.
1137
01:32:01,247 --> 01:32:06,566
Let's go. Ready to go. �I'm sorry,
do it again. �You do it again.
1138
01:32:07,620 --> 01:32:09,620
Asia?
1139
01:32:12,492 --> 01:32:17,128
What happened in Hong Kong was... listen.
1140
01:32:19,899 --> 01:32:26,614
We-we were trying to help our
friend. �And if that meant...
1141
01:32:26,739 --> 01:32:31,277
um... doing... Yeah.
1142
01:32:37,784 --> 01:32:42,797
Of everything I've done in my life, this
was probably the professional highlight.
1143
01:32:42,922 --> 01:32:45,433
Between, uh, Asia Argento
as the director
1144
01:32:45,558 --> 01:32:48,102
and Christopher Doyle as
the director of photography...
1145
01:32:48,227 --> 01:32:53,232
You're gonna give me a camera? -Hell
yeah. ...we really did something special.
1146
01:32:54,500 --> 01:32:57,503
All right,
proceed to smoke weed.
1147
01:33:02,709 --> 01:33:04,709
I think I'm happy.
1148
01:33:08,214 --> 01:33:12,917
Why? It's so peaceful? �Yeah.
1149
01:33:13,653 --> 01:33:18,533
This is the best shot in the movie, by
the way. �Wow, this is fucking beautiful.
1150
01:33:18,658 --> 01:33:25,131
Wait. �I don't smile a lot on this
show, by the way, but I'm smiling now.
1151
01:33:26,232 --> 01:33:32,138
I want to shoot you guys.
�So, tell us about your team.
1152
01:33:32,805 --> 01:33:35,608
Zach, 12-year veteran.
1153
01:33:38,344 --> 01:33:42,682
Zach had made Parts Unknown one of the
most beautiful shows on television.
1154
01:33:45,785 --> 01:33:52,233
Tony's admiration for Zach was just
kind of mind-blowing. �In Hong Kong,
1155
01:33:52,358 --> 01:33:57,205
Zach had a differing opinion from
Asia on what they were shooting.
1156
01:33:57,330 --> 01:34:02,568
And despite having a huge history
and love and friendship, he was gone.
1157
01:34:03,436 --> 01:34:08,850
When Tony fired Zach, it was a
huge red flag, because it was like,
1158
01:34:08,975 --> 01:34:15,723
if he's gonna do that to someone like him,
�I mean, anyone on the inner circle is
1159
01:34:15,848 --> 01:34:19,252
essentially,
you know, disposable.
1160
01:34:21,245 --> 01:34:23,413
She's gonna take over
your life, you know.
1161
01:34:24,706 --> 01:34:26,706
She thinks.
1162
01:34:27,926 --> 01:34:31,004
She's a woman who is like me
who needs to work.
1163
01:34:31,964 --> 01:34:35,509
You're both as fucked up as each other.
Come on, it's all good. We know.
1164
01:34:36,602 --> 01:34:38,805
Cheers.
1165
01:34:41,708 --> 01:34:46,922
There was a very sort of manic nature
to what was going on in that last year,
1166
01:34:47,047 --> 01:34:50,224
where the highs
were very, very high.
1167
01:34:50,349 --> 01:34:55,189
And the lows were very ugly.
1168
01:35:00,893 --> 01:35:03,905
He was not the same person.
1169
01:35:04,030 --> 01:35:08,443
Something changed
and became really heavy.
1170
01:35:08,568 --> 01:35:15,183
But he started going to therapy
at a certain point, and I thought,
1171
01:35:15,308 --> 01:35:18,353
"I can take a step back. "I
don't have to be, like, you know,
1172
01:35:18,478 --> 01:35:22,780
always so, uh, worried
about him." �And, uh...
1173
01:35:26,586 --> 01:35:31,824
And I feel like that's something that
I will always, you know, felt like...
1174
01:35:32,925 --> 01:35:36,896
...I should have kept an eye
on him more, you know?
1175
01:35:56,924 --> 01:35:58,924
He's sittin' there like crying.
1176
01:36:01,687 --> 01:36:05,333
He came by less and less.
1177
01:36:05,458 --> 01:36:08,895
And we would see him
once a month, if we were lucky.
1178
01:36:11,430 --> 01:36:17,835
You know, he said some shit to me that was
really... fucking pissed me off. �Um...
1179
01:36:18,704 --> 01:36:23,576
You know, fuck it. �You know, Tony
said I would never be a good dad.
1180
01:36:30,817 --> 01:36:32,817
That fucking hurt.
1181
01:36:37,057 --> 01:36:41,694
And I know he wasn't
trying to be mean, but...
1182
01:36:44,131 --> 01:36:48,743
Was he projecting? -Yeah.
�Of course he was projecting.
1183
01:36:48,868 --> 01:36:53,506
He did everything
he could to be the... a dad.
1184
01:36:55,741 --> 01:36:58,020
I think it broke his heart
that he couldn't be
1185
01:36:58,145 --> 01:37:02,548
the fucking dad he thought he could
be, the romantic version of a dad.
1186
01:37:04,617 --> 01:37:06,627
He was such a romantic
about life,
1187
01:37:06,752 --> 01:37:11,390
about anything, about families,
about life as a whole.
1188
01:37:12,625 --> 01:37:16,337
Life was a romantic idea,
and reality was never gonna
1189
01:37:16,462 --> 01:37:18,965
live up to exactly
how he pictured it.
1190
01:37:21,434 --> 01:37:24,635
He was always gonna sort of set
himself up for disappointment.
1191
01:37:33,779 --> 01:37:37,059
Wow. �There's a sense of, um,
1192
01:37:37,184 --> 01:37:43,798
vastness that I'm not used to. �Does
this remind you of your cowboy movies?
1193
01:37:43,923 --> 01:37:47,668
Uh, a little bit. -Yeah. �Yes,
the lone gunman out for vengeance
1194
01:37:47,793 --> 01:37:50,063
would be riding
in a long shot over there.
1195
01:37:51,697 --> 01:37:56,577
At that point, I think he thought
his relationship with Asia
1196
01:37:56,702 --> 01:38:01,415
could provide him with an answer. �But
anyway... -You're right, you're right.
1197
01:38:01,540 --> 01:38:06,088
You know? His love for her
was completely pure and safe
1198
01:38:06,213 --> 01:38:08,756
and helpful and supportive.
1199
01:38:08,881 --> 01:38:12,418
Which is essentially what
he was looking for from her.
1200
01:38:13,552 --> 01:38:19,700
And I think that Tony concluded
that the way to earn her trust
1201
01:38:19,825 --> 01:38:25,963
was just to go in with his whole heart.
�Please welcome Anthony Bourdain!
1202
01:38:30,970 --> 01:38:35,984
One of the more painful and-and �I-I
would think interesting journeys
1203
01:38:36,109 --> 01:38:38,419
you've taken on your life
happened just very recently
1204
01:38:38,544 --> 01:38:39,887
with regards to
the Me Too movement.
1205
01:38:40,012 --> 01:38:42,723
I started speaking about it
out of a sense of real rage.
1206
01:38:42,848 --> 01:38:46,661
I mean, I'd like to say
that I'm... I-I arrived at...
1207
01:38:46,786 --> 01:38:52,034
I was always enlightened in some way
or that I am an activist or virtuous.
1208
01:38:52,159 --> 01:38:55,003
But, in fact, uh, you know,
I have to be honest with myself.
1209
01:38:55,128 --> 01:39:00,875
I met one extraordinary woman with
an extraordinary and painful story.
1210
01:39:01,000 --> 01:39:03,845
Uh, suddenly it was personal. �I
think it surprised a lot of people.
1211
01:39:03,970 --> 01:39:09,517
He had never really wanted to stick
himself out there for a cause.
1212
01:39:09,642 --> 01:39:12,578
But Tony was like,
"I'm going to make a stand."
1213
01:39:15,014 --> 01:39:18,826
A nuclear bomb is gonna fall
on one of my worst enemies.
1214
01:39:18,951 --> 01:39:23,764
Everybody's been defending him,
but now he's going fucking down.
1215
01:39:23,889 --> 01:39:26,726
He's going down
big-fucking-time.
1216
01:39:27,827 --> 01:39:34,575
In 1997, I was raped by Harvey
Weinstein here at Cannes.
1217
01:39:34,700 --> 01:39:37,913
And even tonight,
sitting among you,
1218
01:39:38,038 --> 01:39:41,682
there are those who still
have to be held accountable
1219
01:39:41,807 --> 01:39:44,677
for their conduct against women.
1220
01:39:45,878 --> 01:39:49,690
Argento later posting this photo on
Instagram with her fist in the air,
1221
01:39:49,815 --> 01:39:53,753
the caption in French translated,
"The battle of women continues."
1222
01:39:57,890 --> 01:40:02,803
Asia had just come from Cannes. �And
then we're in the Uffizi Gallery
1223
01:40:02,928 --> 01:40:06,574
looking at the beheading of
Holofernes, which is literally
1224
01:40:06,699 --> 01:40:08,210
the beheading of her rapist,
1225
01:40:08,335 --> 01:40:13,881
and it's happening the day that Weinstein
gets arrested. �Weinstein has repeatedly
1226
01:40:14,006 --> 01:40:16,006
denied all allegations.
1227
01:40:18,311 --> 01:40:20,311
It was extraordinary.
1228
01:40:41,901 --> 01:40:47,015
Everybody takes Medusa
as the symbol of the evil woman
1229
01:40:47,140 --> 01:40:52,553
with snakes in her head, but,
uh, she was, uh, a rape victim.
1230
01:40:52,678 --> 01:40:57,993
And she had to protect herself. �You
know, powerful, inconvenient women who
1231
01:40:58,118 --> 01:41:03,999
piss people off are inevitably
caricatured as Medusa. �Yeah.
1232
01:41:04,124 --> 01:41:09,962
I'm-I'm next. �I wasn't gonna say it.
�It's only a matter of time. -Hmm.
1233
01:41:10,930 --> 01:41:17,212
It's incredible. Me Too! �Our
stories are true! �We say Me Too!
1234
01:41:17,337 --> 01:41:20,614
I mean, at first it was, like,
very noble of him, you know?
1235
01:41:20,739 --> 01:41:24,719
And it was a good cause.
�But then he became...
1236
01:41:24,844 --> 01:41:26,687
yeah, he became
obsessed with it.
1237
01:41:26,812 --> 01:41:31,692
You're talking about it in a way that
many people wouldn't. To the point where
1238
01:41:31,817 --> 01:41:37,299
if a friend said something five
years ago that would maybe...
1239
01:41:37,424 --> 01:41:39,633
might be offensive
to the Me Too cause,
1240
01:41:39,758 --> 01:41:45,806
he would just, like, cut them out of his
life. �I'm pretty much Ming the Merciless
1241
01:41:45,931 --> 01:41:49,643
on this issue right now. -Right.
Friends and creative partners...
1242
01:41:49,768 --> 01:41:54,749
he threw them under the bus without
any sort of consultation or anything.
1243
01:41:54,874 --> 01:41:58,811
I mean, there was not much nuance
when it got to that point of his life.
1244
01:42:00,779 --> 01:42:06,194
What I saw was him turn what was
a lifelong addictive personality
1245
01:42:06,319 --> 01:42:11,158
to another person. And that
was extremely dangerous.
1246
01:42:16,028 --> 01:42:18,739
He was acting like a kid
who didn't understand
1247
01:42:18,864 --> 01:42:22,944
that you're gonna drive someone away if
you just pile on and pile on and pile on.
1248
01:42:23,069 --> 01:42:24,712
Yes. But-but what I...
-Really, the top ten
1249
01:42:24,837 --> 01:42:27,949
hottest things you've ever done
is park in Rome.
1250
01:42:28,074 --> 01:42:32,354
What, like... she was like,
"You could park here now,
1251
01:42:32,479 --> 01:42:35,723
but in an hour you can't park here."
-Yeah. "We can get away with this now."
1252
01:42:35,848 --> 01:42:37,392
I thought, "This is
the fucking coolest thing."
1253
01:42:37,517 --> 01:42:41,796
He won't stop fucking talking
about her ability to park.
1254
01:42:41,921 --> 01:42:44,332
It's like, "You're such a good parker.
"Y-You park so well. You park so well.
1255
01:42:44,457 --> 01:42:47,402
You parallel park so well." �And she's
like, "Dude, I don't want to be known
1256
01:42:47,527 --> 01:42:53,464
for my parking skills." Like, you can see
her pulling back, and he just won't stop.
1257
01:42:58,238 --> 01:43:03,385
We're having so much fun.
�Done. �And it was genius, bro.
1258
01:43:03,510 --> 01:43:07,989
I'm telling you, see you at the
Oscars, yo. Saying goodbye to him
1259
01:43:08,114 --> 01:43:13,261
is the happiest I felt like I
had ever seen him. �Huge hugs.
1260
01:43:13,386 --> 01:43:16,831
He was like, "I love you. "I love working
with you. We got years ahead of us.
1261
01:43:16,956 --> 01:43:19,326
I'm looking forward to it."
1262
01:43:31,837 --> 01:43:36,684
You don't want his legacy to come
off as, like, somebody who...
1263
01:43:36,809 --> 01:43:40,313
succumbed to, like, this...
1264
01:43:43,516 --> 01:43:45,784
...darkness.
1265
01:43:47,287 --> 01:43:52,067
That wasn't him. �Like, he created
something that was so important.
1266
01:43:52,192 --> 01:43:56,062
And I want... that really
needs to be, like...
1267
01:43:57,063 --> 01:44:00,008
That is the legacy of his life.
1268
01:44:00,133 --> 01:44:05,238
Not this stupid bullshit act
that he did at the end.
1269
01:44:09,576 --> 01:44:12,911
How do we come to terms with...
1270
01:44:14,214 --> 01:44:18,351
...what happened? �Hmm. That's
something I don't speak about.
1271
01:44:25,091 --> 01:44:29,271
What happened in France.
�Um, where to start?
1272
01:44:29,396 --> 01:44:33,408
The kind of scenes that we had
and what kind of shoot it was...
1273
01:44:33,533 --> 01:44:38,980
you know, it was, like, Tony and
Eric. �Lighthearted, funny. �Um...
1274
01:44:39,105 --> 01:44:44,052
Wow. Wow. �Listen, man.
Listen. -And you mocked me.
1275
01:44:44,177 --> 01:44:50,091
We're probably like four days in.
�Tony arrives, and he is just...
1276
01:44:50,216 --> 01:44:55,130
palpably sort of like just angry. �And...
1277
01:44:55,255 --> 01:45:00,302
the scene sort of... it takes a dark
turn. Uh, they're talking about dying,
1278
01:45:00,427 --> 01:45:06,274
choking on a hot dog or something like
that. �He kind of looks back at me,
1279
01:45:06,399 --> 01:45:12,339
and we kind of make eye contact. �In-in
my memory now, it's very desperate.
1280
01:45:17,410 --> 01:45:23,849
I called Helen, and this tabloid shit's
come out about Asia and this other person.
1281
01:45:26,586 --> 01:45:28,862
Tony goes over
to this balcony again,
1282
01:45:28,987 --> 01:45:33,435
looking over this valley, and he's,
like, smoking, and he's kind of alone.
1283
01:45:33,560 --> 01:45:38,473
I go out there, and I'm like,
"Hey, man, how are you doing?
1284
01:45:38,598 --> 01:45:40,542
"You know, is this just, like...
are these just tabloid people,
1285
01:45:40,667 --> 01:45:43,078
"like, fucking with you guys? �Like
how, you know... what's happening?"
1286
01:45:43,203 --> 01:45:45,203
And then, like, he pauses...
1287
01:45:46,106 --> 01:45:50,218
...and he just says,
"A little fucking discretion."
1288
01:45:50,343 --> 01:45:55,889
Right? And I was like, "Hey, man, I'm
just..." �He's like, "No, man, not you."
1289
01:45:56,014 --> 01:45:57,926
It's like, "I don't want
to have to fucking deal
1290
01:45:58,051 --> 01:46:02,455
with this... these fucking..."
�You know, he's talking about Asia.
1291
01:46:05,225 --> 01:46:07,102
He didn't even look at me.
1292
01:46:07,227 --> 01:46:09,471
You know, he's just kind of,
like, just, you know, smoking
1293
01:46:09,596 --> 01:46:13,133
and just sort of looking out
and just like, "Fuck."
1294
01:46:14,033 --> 01:46:18,438
I wish I had said more
to him in that moment.
1295
01:46:20,039 --> 01:46:23,918
You know, Tony hasn't been
all right for a long time.
1296
01:46:24,043 --> 01:46:28,023
The amount that he joked about
the end of his life and...
1297
01:46:28,148 --> 01:46:32,193
he's been chasing that shit
forever. �Potato chips are stale.
1298
01:46:32,318 --> 01:46:37,865
So depressed right now, I feel like
killing myself. He's a fucking runner.
1299
01:46:37,990 --> 01:46:43,538
I mean, he ran for a long time,
but you're not gonna outsmart pain.
1300
01:46:43,663 --> 01:46:46,508
I'm pretty sure that pole
will support my body weight.
1301
01:46:46,633 --> 01:46:50,303
What?
-If I fucking hang myself.
1302
01:46:52,705 --> 01:46:56,884
I think it pops into a lot of
people's heads, and it's just like,
1303
01:46:57,009 --> 01:47:01,623
since he knew how to do
it... �I mean, I don't know.
1304
01:47:01,748 --> 01:47:03,958
He's a storyteller
for one thing.
1305
01:47:04,083 --> 01:47:07,387
How does a storyteller check out
without leaving a note?
1306
01:47:09,021 --> 01:47:15,070
But I think, in some regard, he was gonna
write his end, which is what he did.
1307
01:47:15,195 --> 01:47:17,238
If you look at
his last Instagram Story,
1308
01:47:17,363 --> 01:47:23,645
he played the title sequence music
from this '70s film �Violent City.
1309
01:47:23,770 --> 01:47:26,381
And if you've seen the film,
you know that the beginning is
1310
01:47:26,506 --> 01:47:32,654
a series of paparazzi photos of this
couple. �I mean, it's a revenge film.
1311
01:47:32,779 --> 01:47:38,783
It's about this woman who betrays
him and him seeking revenge.
1312
01:47:54,067 --> 01:47:57,103
I mean, it's-it's all there.
1313
01:47:59,539 --> 01:48:03,218
I'm very cautious to be like, uh,
blame the woman for, like, you know...
1314
01:48:03,343 --> 01:48:09,190
or blame the lover or blame the
husband. �You know, Tony killed himself.
1315
01:48:09,315 --> 01:48:11,315
Tony did it.
1316
01:48:17,390 --> 01:48:21,302
My brother committed suicide. �I think
if somebody else had been in his room,
1317
01:48:21,427 --> 01:48:23,138
it might've been a murder
and not a suicide.
1318
01:48:23,263 --> 01:48:27,467
I think he was just in an explosive
anger and-and this was the only way out.
1319
01:48:29,202 --> 01:48:33,681
When you choose to hang
yourself, it's a torture.
1320
01:48:33,806 --> 01:48:37,243
Self-imposed torture.
1321
01:48:38,811 --> 01:48:42,257
If he was fucking drunk, it'd
be a lot easier to understand.
1322
01:48:42,382 --> 01:48:47,195
The toxicology report was
he's clean and sober.
1323
01:48:47,320 --> 01:48:50,156
I think it was a clear decision.
1324
01:48:52,191 --> 01:48:56,496
It was a momentary lapse, and I don't
think he weighed the pros and cons.
1325
01:48:58,197 --> 01:49:01,167
If he had just made it through
that night, you know?
1326
01:49:03,303 --> 01:49:07,215
We're trying so hard to understand,
because we think if we can understand it,
1327
01:49:07,340 --> 01:49:11,719
then we'll be okay with it. �And
the fact of the matter is, no,
1328
01:49:11,844 --> 01:49:17,748
I don't think we get to know. �We
don't get to know. That's tough.
1329
01:49:24,524 --> 01:49:30,472
Well, I don't know where he is
right now, but... he let me down.
1330
01:49:30,597 --> 01:49:32,597
He...
1331
01:49:36,269 --> 01:49:41,441
I don't think he was cruel, you know?
�And there's, like, a cruelty to that.
1332
01:49:44,210 --> 01:49:46,913
What the hell is everyone
supposed to do?
1333
01:50:15,575 --> 01:50:20,555
It's been over two years
since he took his own life,
1334
01:50:20,680 --> 01:50:25,816
and I still experience a
range of emotions. �Um...
1335
01:50:28,855 --> 01:50:30,855
God.
1336
01:50:37,597 --> 01:50:44,445
It's like... �I haven't fucking cut
my hair since he died. �Like, I-I...
1337
01:50:44,570 --> 01:50:50,718
I just miss him. I miss
a friend, a dear friend.
1338
01:50:50,843 --> 01:50:57,183
I think about a lot of
happy moments we had together.
1339
01:51:00,720 --> 01:51:02,955
Mostly, yeah.
1340
01:51:06,426 --> 01:51:10,438
I was in Vietnam
on a beautiful day.
1341
01:51:10,563 --> 01:51:14,742
I looked at my phone,
and there was the news.
1342
01:51:14,867 --> 01:51:18,571
And, uh, that's when I decided
to move to Vietnam for good.
1343
01:51:19,539 --> 01:51:22,317
That was the...
it was not even a thought.
1344
01:51:22,442 --> 01:51:26,354
It was the door opened
and I had to go through it
1345
01:51:26,479 --> 01:51:30,750
and start doing something new.
1346
01:51:32,351 --> 01:51:36,731
I was listening to this record that
brought me to tears thinking of him.
1347
01:51:36,856 --> 01:51:41,903
And, um, both my kids
sort of embraced me.
1348
01:51:42,028 --> 01:51:45,231
My son, he's like,
"How did Tony die?"
1349
01:51:47,366 --> 01:51:51,679
And I was like, "Uh, I...
we don't know." �Right?
1350
01:51:51,804 --> 01:51:55,416
About 20 seconds pass, and
he looked at me and he's like,
1351
01:51:55,541 --> 01:51:57,485
"I really would like to know
how Tony died."
1352
01:51:57,610 --> 01:52:01,656
I have this like hour-long
conversation about
1353
01:52:01,781 --> 01:52:08,296
Tony to my fucking seven-year-old kid.
And I said, "I think Tony, at the end,
1354
01:52:08,421 --> 01:52:13,201
"felt alone and felt
he couldn't talk to anybody
1355
01:52:13,326 --> 01:52:16,404
about the pain that was
going on inside of him."
1356
01:52:16,529 --> 01:52:20,708
And I said, "You know
you always have someone
1357
01:52:20,833 --> 01:52:26,506
to turn to and talk to."
�That's the lesson in it for me.
1358
01:52:30,576 --> 01:52:36,591
It's plenty to just say I'm hurt.
�I haven't worked for two years now.
1359
01:52:36,716 --> 01:52:41,529
Really close to the end,
we talked, and I said,
1360
01:52:41,654 --> 01:52:44,298
"Got to take our girls
and lighten the load
1361
01:52:44,423 --> 01:52:48,403
"and show them the world, show them who we
are, not just when you come home, but..."
1362
01:52:48,528 --> 01:52:51,697
And-and we were both excited
about this prospect.
1363
01:52:58,038 --> 01:53:01,874
Fuck. �One, two, three.
1364
01:53:04,577 --> 01:53:10,658
When I get angry is when I think
about leaving behind a brilliant...
1365
01:53:10,783 --> 01:53:12,919
daughter.
1366
01:53:14,587 --> 01:53:16,587
You know.
1367
01:53:17,456 --> 01:53:23,094
He would have loved to be around now, to
see her now. �He'd be so proud of her.
1368
01:53:30,070 --> 01:53:36,617
I'm so lucky 'cause she's the
best daughter I-I could hope for.
1369
01:53:36,742 --> 01:53:42,882
And I will always be grateful that, you
know, Tony gave her to me, you know?
1370
01:53:47,620 --> 01:53:52,500
I mean, I think this is the last time
I'll ever talk publicly about it,
1371
01:53:52,625 --> 01:53:57,839
because I... that's not the way I want
to remember him. I want to remember him
1372
01:53:57,964 --> 01:54:01,509
when we were together, all the
amazing things that we'd done
1373
01:54:01,634 --> 01:54:04,370
and the amazing person
that he was.
1374
01:54:09,008 --> 01:54:15,514
After Tony died, the restaurant, Les
Halles, it just became this shrine.
1375
01:54:16,782 --> 01:54:21,088
We didn't realize he meant
so much to so many people.
1376
01:54:22,055 --> 01:54:24,832
"You inspired me
to get out of my comfort zone
1377
01:54:24,957 --> 01:54:28,461
and fearlessly immerse myself
in the richness of life."
1378
01:54:29,629 --> 01:54:32,040
"Advocate for the working classes,
"the immigrants, the poor.
1379
01:54:32,165 --> 01:54:34,400
This world didn't deserve you."
1380
01:54:38,138 --> 01:54:39,714
And then a few people
left poems.
1381
01:54:39,839 --> 01:54:42,850
One said, "Everyone forgets
that Icarus also flew.
1382
01:54:42,975 --> 01:54:46,587
"I believe Icarus
was not failing as he fell
1383
01:54:46,712 --> 01:54:49,782
but just coming to the end
of his triumph."
1384
01:55:10,736 --> 01:55:14,838
You know, I was an angry
young man. �I-I, uh...
1385
01:55:15,708 --> 01:55:18,987
I forget what I was angry about,
especially looking at this.
1386
01:55:19,112 --> 01:55:23,482
What the hell was I so angry
about? �This was, you know...
1387
01:55:25,085 --> 01:55:27,085
...paradise.
1388
01:55:42,702 --> 01:55:44,702
Sorry.
1389
01:55:45,671 --> 01:55:51,153
Can I say something? To have him walking
down a beach, it resonates, it's sweet.
1390
01:55:51,278 --> 01:55:56,457
And I go, you know, as-as I was upstairs
using the restroom, I was like...
1391
01:55:56,582 --> 01:55:58,582
"He would fucking hate that."
1392
01:56:03,923 --> 01:56:08,027
Going out in a blaze of glory
was so fucking lame.
1393
01:56:09,096 --> 01:56:12,673
But we live in this society
where every great artist
1394
01:56:12,798 --> 01:56:17,179
who kills themselves is on murals
and they're talked about like gods.
1395
01:56:17,304 --> 01:56:20,815
Tony's on murals. -Yeah. That's...
�Around town, there are a couple of them.
1396
01:56:20,940 --> 01:56:24,775
I should go deface them. He
would love it if I did that.
1397
01:56:27,775 --> 01:56:31,775
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