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1
00:01:08,176 --> 00:01:15,180
- Alright Trigger?
- Yeah, I'm alright...em...well
2
00:01:19,126 --> 00:01:25,213
Yes, it's alright, I know Trigger, I know mate.
You going back to the flat are you?
3
00:01:25,387 --> 00:01:26,390
Yeah I'm coming back.
4
00:01:27,513 --> 00:01:33,348
Do us a favour will yer,
go on open up, I've got one or two things to do
5
00:01:34,623 --> 00:01:36,767
bung the vicar a couple of quid,
that sort of thing.
6
00:01:38,703 --> 00:01:43,691
See them three over there, they're
the North London branch of the family.
7
00:01:44,717 --> 00:01:48,653
Make 'em welcome will you, keep
your eye on 'em.
8
00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:52,992
- Yeah, sure.
- Thanks, cheers Trigger.
9
00:02:16,279 --> 00:02:18,248
I love a nice funeral.
10
00:02:19,434 --> 00:02:21,725
Why don't you hang about,
there's two more after this!
11
00:03:37,643 --> 00:03:44,486
- We'll leave the car shall we, eh?
- We'll have a nice little walk, eh?
12
00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:48,795
Yeah, come on...let's have a
nice walk eh...
13
00:03:56,614 --> 00:03:59,925
Oi, gently!!!
14
00:04:11,087 --> 00:04:13,426
Well Michael. How's business
in the pub?
15
00:04:14,269 --> 00:04:17,344
Not bad Boycie. Not bad. Oh,
you didn't hear did you?
16
00:04:17,686 --> 00:04:20,116
Thursday night some berk
nicked me cigarette machine!
17
00:04:20,619 --> 00:04:24,473
Never! What about that sonic
burglar alarm Del Boy sold you?
18
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:27,691
Oh yeah, they nicked that an' all.
19
00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,756
Just make some excuse Stan.
Say we're in a hurry or something!
20
00:04:42,401 --> 00:04:43,825
But it's a funeral love!
21
00:04:44,403 --> 00:04:49,606
We've gotta get all the way back to North London.
If we don't leave now we'll cop the rush hour!
22
00:04:50,351 --> 00:04:53,395
Look, I don't wanna go back
to their flat either Jean, but I'm family!
23
00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:57,939
I wanna go back there - he
was my brother!
24
00:04:58,168 --> 00:05:01,025
It's nothing to do with you
Uncle Albert so stay out of it!
25
00:05:01,454 --> 00:05:04,857
What do you mean he was your brother!?
You and him didn't talk to each other for years!
26
00:05:05,218 --> 00:05:10,053
Me and your Aunt Ada didn't talk to each other
for years but she was still me wife!
27
00:05:11,731 --> 00:05:14,764
Come on, we'll go back for
'alf hour, show our respect.
28
00:05:15,550 --> 00:05:17,624
Anyway, we'll only have him
whining all the way home!
29
00:05:21,649 --> 00:05:23,682
And don't you dare light that
pipe in my car!
30
00:05:27,703 --> 00:05:31,316
- It was a lovely service vicar.
- Thank you very much. Thank you.
31
00:05:34,825 --> 00:05:38,023
Has anyone seen my hat? It was
here.
32
00:05:45,321 --> 00:05:47,541
Right, 'ere you go. Here you
are look, come on, come on!
33
00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:48,998
Get stuck in there will you.
34
00:05:50,354 --> 00:05:52,193
Where's the cake and candles
Del?
35
00:05:54,002 --> 00:05:54,949
Don't matter!
36
00:05:57,988 --> 00:06:02,034
So the Chinese bird says to him,
'Listen I ain't cooking at this time of night.'
37
00:06:05,641 --> 00:06:09,943
- Is that true?
- Have a day off Trigger!
38
00:06:17,352 --> 00:06:20,256
Well everyone seems to be
enjoying themselves, eh Trigger?
39
00:06:20,431 --> 00:06:25,901
- Yeah, it's a good do Dave!
- Yeah, I don't believe you mob sometimes.
40
00:06:27,382 --> 00:06:28,949
Have you got any fags on you
Trigger?
41
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,047
- What sort d'you fancy?
- Anything'll do!
42
00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:43,993
Here you are, keep 'em, I've got loads!
43
00:06:44,782 --> 00:06:46,336
- Cheers!
- Cheers Dave.
44
00:06:48,426 --> 00:06:51,181
- Rodney, innit?
- Well, it is when Trigger ain't about, yeah.
45
00:06:51,571 --> 00:06:56,316
Uncle Albert - well great Uncle
Albert really! I'm yer Grandad's brother.
46
00:06:56,982 --> 00:07:01,203
Yeah, yeah, he told me about you. But, you know,
I don't take no notice of that sort of thing!
47
00:07:01,626 --> 00:07:02,971
No, no, it's best not to son!
48
00:07:03,368 --> 00:07:06,860
Shame really, me and him lost
touch with each other years ago.
49
00:07:07,356 --> 00:07:11,319
I spent most of my life at sea, you know,
Royal Navy, Merchant.
50
00:07:11,763 --> 00:07:14,501
- D'you know, I was torpedoed five times!
- Yeah?
51
00:07:14,763 --> 00:07:17,327
Yeah! D'you know what the
crews nicknamed me?
52
00:07:17,858 --> 00:07:19,137
Jonah?
53
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:24,356
No! No, they didn't call me
Jonah - not many of them!
54
00:07:24,757 --> 00:07:28,834
They used to call me Boomerang
Trotter, 'cos I always come back!
55
00:07:29,984 --> 00:07:31,093
Triffic!
56
00:07:31,531 --> 00:07:32,862
'Ere Rodney, do me a favour
will you.
57
00:07:33,039 --> 00:07:34,237
You know them batteries
out there in the hall.
58
00:07:34,397 --> 00:07:36,329
Stick 'em out in the
corridor in case someone falls over 'em.
59
00:07:37,130 --> 00:07:38,720
'Ere, Del, come here, come
here son, listen to this one.
60
00:07:39,946 --> 00:07:41,083
What is it, what? Go on.
61
00:07:41,489 --> 00:07:43,748
Well, we'll have one more
drink and get on our way, alright?
62
00:07:45,919 --> 00:07:50,124
I don't like the people over this side of the river!
They're not as nice as North Londoners!
63
00:07:50,313 --> 00:07:53,209
You don't know what you're
talking about girl! I was born round here!
64
00:07:53,554 --> 00:07:54,927
Need I say more?
65
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:59,168
You couldn't wish to meet a more honest
and generous people as South Londoners.
66
00:07:59,365 --> 00:08:03,099
Honest and generous! I noticed
they didn't have a whip round at the cemetery!
67
00:08:03,292 --> 00:08:05,802
Well they couldn't could they!
Someone nicked the vicar's hat!
68
00:08:08,144 --> 00:08:10,800
Del...Del...do you...remember
us, cousin Stan.
69
00:08:10,997 --> 00:08:13,767
Stan yes, of course I remember you...
Yeah I was gonna come over and have a chat with you.
70
00:08:13,947 --> 00:08:16,205
- This is my wife, Jean.
- Jean, yeah, hello Jean. How are you?
71
00:08:16,387 --> 00:08:19,063
- Uncle Albert.
- Oh Uncle Albert, is it? Hello.
72
00:08:20,831 --> 00:08:23,035
Your mum asked me to be your
Godfather.
73
00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:25,213
Yeah? I thought Uncle George
was my Godfather?
74
00:08:25,543 --> 00:08:29,126
- Yeah, that's right. Me and George spun a coin.
- George lost!
75
00:08:31,569 --> 00:08:33,160
So what you been up to these
days Stan?
76
00:08:33,342 --> 00:08:35,126
Are you still poncing round in the insurance
game, are you!
77
00:08:35,529 --> 00:08:38,889
I'm still in the insurance
business, yeah, and doing very nicely thank you!
78
00:08:39,076 --> 00:08:42,684
- We've got our own place all paid!
- Oh really what you got, a maisonette?
79
00:08:42,858 --> 00:08:47,249
- No - it's a mobile home actually!
- Oh, you've a caravan?
80
00:08:48,249 --> 00:08:52,610
It's got two separate bedrooms, a breakfast bar
and a combined toilet and shower-room!
81
00:08:53,723 --> 00:08:58,507
- It's a big caravan?
- Well this is just a council flat isn't it?
82
00:08:58,764 --> 00:09:01,560
Yeah, but there's no chance of
this getting a puncture is there!
83
00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:05,748
He's been living with us for
18 months now!
84
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,883
He only popped
round to borrow a screwdriver!
85
00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:11,764
If I hear another nautical
yarn I'll swing for him!
86
00:09:12,317 --> 00:09:14,175
Someone suggested an old folks'
home!
87
00:09:14,476 --> 00:09:18,445
- You can't do that, he's family!
- Oh we didn't consider it. Did we love?
88
00:09:18,644 --> 00:09:22,581
No, of course not! Well not at
them prices anyway!
89
00:09:26,085 --> 00:09:27,775
- Are you alright son?
- Yeah.
90
00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:30,320
You ever been on board a ship Rodney?
91
00:09:30,943 --> 00:09:35,503
Yeah, yeah, when I was a kid.
Grandad took me.
92
00:09:36,595 --> 00:09:39,319
I see. Did he ever take you
down and show you the engine room?
93
00:09:39,714 --> 00:09:44,710
No, no, it was only the
Woolwich ferry! He got seasick.
94
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:47,808
We had to go home via
the Rotherhithe tunnel.
95
00:09:48,602 --> 00:09:51,704
I used to work in the engine
room - maintenance, that sort of thing.
96
00:09:52,045 --> 00:09:54,441
Cor, them boilers took
some looking after and all!
97
00:09:55,389 --> 00:09:59,020
D'you know what the most
important gadget is in the engine room?
98
00:09:59,626 --> 00:10:01,233
The lock on the porthole?
99
00:10:02,399 --> 00:10:04,487
No - they don't have port...
100
00:10:05,234 --> 00:10:07,293
It's the safety valve on the boiler!
101
00:10:07,651 --> 00:10:13,747
You get a build-up of pressure and the safety valves
ain't working - bang - the whole gubbins explodes!
102
00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:18,620
You've gotta find a way of releasing
the pressure, that's what's happening to Del!
103
00:10:18,907 --> 00:10:23,300
He's releasing the pressure -
laughter's just his safety valve!
104
00:10:25,975 --> 00:10:29,341
I don't think it's right! Them
people laughing in there!
105
00:10:30,274 --> 00:10:34,864
I ain't laughing...I ain't today,
I ain't laughing tomorrow,
106
00:10:36,608 --> 00:10:38,673
I don't wanna laugh for the rest of my life.
107
00:10:39,641 --> 00:10:41,448
Well, as long as you're happy son.
108
00:10:44,304 --> 00:10:45,646
I'm away now, boys. So I'll
see you later.
109
00:10:45,889 --> 00:10:46,860
In your trousers, Michael.
110
00:10:47,034 --> 00:10:49,471
- I'm off now, Del alright son.
- Yeah. 'Ere, thanks for coming Mike.
111
00:10:49,634 --> 00:10:51,101
'Ere, you're doin' a bit of a
flyer ain't you?
112
00:10:51,352 --> 00:10:54,811
Well, as a sign of respect for yer Grandad
I've decided to open the pub early.
113
00:10:55,316 --> 00:10:58,481
Oh that's very nice of you
Mike, appreciate the gesture! Thanks.
114
00:10:58,676 --> 00:11:00,853
Oh about the booze. It comes to 86 quid.
115
00:11:01,266 --> 00:11:12,204
Please Mike, don't discuss money now, I mean you'll be
offering me a discount for cash next won't you!
116
00:11:13,910 --> 00:11:20,441
I saw the periscope half mile off starboard.
I saw the wash through the torpedo's fins.
117
00:11:20,740 --> 00:11:26,952
It caught us at the...at the
pointed end. Wallop! Up it went.
118
00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:31,700
Foam, flame, fire smoke,
burning metal!
119
00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:36,715
As soon as it happened I thought to myself,
'Hello, we've been hit.'
120
00:11:37,771 --> 00:11:40,689
- I s'pose you get to know the little signs, eh?
- Yes!
121
00:11:41,709 --> 00:11:45,917
Yeah, okay Mike, 'ere listen, don't worry about
that burglar alarm that got nicked.
122
00:11:46,092 --> 00:11:47,891
'Cos Trigger knows where he can get
hold of another one.
123
00:11:48,461 --> 00:11:50,149
Alright, so I'll whip it round to you okay.
124
00:11:50,538 --> 00:11:51,770
Okay, cheers Del. See you Rodney.
125
00:11:54,027 --> 00:11:55,330
Thanks Mike, yeah.
126
00:11:55,719 --> 00:11:58,602
Del, I've just been telling
young Rodney about my days in the navy.
127
00:11:59,716 --> 00:12:01,251
I don't know why you don't
join up?
128
00:12:01,718 --> 00:12:03,659
Yeah, well you've just given
me five good reasons!
129
00:12:22,106 --> 00:12:28,453
Here we are. Here we go Rodney, look specialty of the
house. Sausage unt ala the old mash! There you go.
130
00:12:29,691 --> 00:12:31,203
I ain't really all that hungry Del.
131
00:12:31,743 --> 00:12:32,704
Oh come on Rodders!
132
00:12:32,923 --> 00:12:36,297
I've been an hour out there in that
kitchen cooking this! Go on, try it at least.
133
00:12:42,627 --> 00:12:44,844
- I can't eat that Del...
- What's wrong with it?
134
00:12:45,425 --> 00:12:49,193
Well, it's nothing like Grandad's is it?
It tastes nice.
135
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:54,494
I tried to mess it up,
honestly I did, Rodney!
136
00:12:55,996 --> 00:12:57,649
I just didn't have his
knack!
137
00:12:58,242 --> 00:13:01,998
Do you know he was taught to cook at one
of London's biggest establishments.
138
00:13:02,596 --> 00:13:03,431
You're kidding.
139
00:13:03,632 --> 00:13:11,361
No, straight up, he was a trainee chef at the Ear,
Nose and Throat Hospital! Now, come on then.
140
00:13:13,076 --> 00:13:15,612
- Come on, let's give this an 'iding? Shall we?
- Yeah, why not?
141
00:13:20,114 --> 00:13:25,163
Well it's just - it's just us
two now bruv! Me and you against the rest!
142
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,048
They don't stand a bloody chance do they, eh?
143
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,307
Del, someone's trying to pull
our lavatory chain!
144
00:13:39,014 --> 00:13:44,784
Yeah, I know - I know it's an awkward one innit?
The secret is one slow pull and then a sharp one!
145
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:50,642
There you go.
There it is see.
146
00:13:53,184 --> 00:13:59,445
What I'm saying is, right, we're the only ones in the flat
and someone's trying to flush our lav!!
147
00:14:02,522 --> 00:14:06,045
No, yeah, well maybe it's a washer!
Or something!
148
00:14:06,774 --> 00:14:08,699
How can a bloody washer pull
the chain???
149
00:14:10,778 --> 00:14:13,214
I don't know do I! I am not a
scientist or something? Am I?
150
00:14:14,134 --> 00:14:21,402
No, it's alright, it's probably, you know quite simple.
You know nothing. Nothing at all really.
151
00:14:23,219 --> 00:14:24,732
Where's my bloody
hammer?
152
00:14:36,797 --> 00:14:39,472
- Oh my bloody head!
- Gordon Bennett!!
153
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:41,944
You nearly had your head caved in then!
You soppy old sod!
154
00:14:42,847 --> 00:14:46,801
I had too much of that cognac!
Where is everyone?
155
00:14:47,313 --> 00:14:51,299
Well, they've all gone home!
It's 'alf past 11 at night.
156
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,071
Where the hell have you been?
157
00:14:53,345 --> 00:14:57,309
I conked out in one of them
beds, my belly's going round and round.
158
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:05,733
Oh my Gawd! 'Alf past 11. D'you think Stan
and Jean'll be worried about me?
159
00:15:06,267 --> 00:15:10,284
Worried about you? Yeah, well
of course they'll be worried about you!
160
00:15:13,027 --> 00:15:17,866
Look, we can't drive you back there tonight
now, no, me and Rodney have had enough to drink!
161
00:15:19,017 --> 00:15:20,249
What about a min-cab then?
162
00:15:20,666 --> 00:15:23,563
No, you won't get one now Rodney,
they'll be busy washing out their back seats!
163
00:15:26,784 --> 00:15:30,399
I reckon you've got to stay the night and
I'll drive you back to North London tomorrow.
164
00:15:30,955 --> 00:15:34,661
Rodney, you go and lock up, oi, make sure you
bring them batteries in 'fore someone swipes 'em.
165
00:15:35,188 --> 00:15:39,091
- No one's gonna nick them Del!
- Really, how d'you think we got 'em?
166
00:15:41,346 --> 00:15:42,783
I appreciate this son.
167
00:15:43,161 --> 00:15:46,276
Oh forget it, I'll get you a pillow and some blankets,
and you can make yourself a bed
168
00:15:46,459 --> 00:15:47,716
there on the chaise longue, alright?
169
00:15:48,011 --> 00:15:51,522
'Ere, I won't be able to sleep
on there Del! I need a good firm mattress,
170
00:15:52,528 --> 00:15:54,577
I've got a curvature of the spine see!
171
00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:57,549
Really? It's all them years
sleeping in a hammock I suppose is it!
172
00:15:57,861 --> 00:15:59,517
Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised!
173
00:15:59,948 --> 00:16:01,293
I might as well kip down in
there, eh?
174
00:16:01,664 --> 00:16:03,640
No, no, you can't go in there.
That's my Grandad's room!
175
00:16:03,934 --> 00:16:05,295
Yeah but - I'm his brother!
176
00:16:05,495 --> 00:16:08,526
Yeah, that don't make no difference.
Only me and Rodney are allowed in that room!
177
00:16:10,016 --> 00:16:12,379
That room is gonna remain exactly
as he left it!
178
00:16:13,902 --> 00:16:18,583
That room is going to be a shrine dedicated
to the memory of my Grandfather.
179
00:16:21,317 --> 00:16:22,437
I understand Del!
180
00:16:22,638 --> 00:16:24,187
No, we'll just have to think
of something else that's all.
181
00:16:24,788 --> 00:16:27,384
Listen, if I get the big mattress
out of Rodney's room I can put it down.
182
00:16:27,884 --> 00:16:29,760
No, I'd never get it through the door
would I.
183
00:16:30,713 --> 00:16:34,990
- Oi, where'd you want these then?
- Sling 'em in Grandad's room for now will you Rodney.
184
00:16:48,676 --> 00:16:53,708
- Alright? D'you get Albert home safely?
- Yes, I got him home safely alright Rodney!
185
00:16:56,945 --> 00:17:01,773
- Morning son!
- Morning. You're back?
186
00:17:02,445 --> 00:17:06,083
- Boomerang Trotter always comes back!
- What happened?
187
00:17:06,424 --> 00:17:10,657
What happened? I'll tell you what happened,
I drove him all the way back to North London.
188
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:13,646
Right through the bleedin' rush hour!
And what did we find when we got there?
189
00:17:13,952 --> 00:17:15,895
Stan and Jean have moved!
190
00:17:18,740 --> 00:17:22,423
Moved? What do you mean moved?
191
00:17:22,601 --> 00:17:23,751
What do I mean?
192
00:17:24,286 --> 00:17:27,260
They hooked the caravan on the back of the
Cortina and they've had it away!
193
00:17:28,373 --> 00:17:34,165
This was lying where the caravan once stood!
It's just my clothes and a few personal belongings.
194
00:17:35,658 --> 00:17:37,408
You mean that's all you've got
in the world?
195
00:17:37,812 --> 00:17:42,706
No, we've gotta go back tomorrow
to pick up his parrot! How could they do this to me?
196
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:46,978
That is disgusting innit?
I mean, deserting him like that!
197
00:17:47,487 --> 00:17:49,411
Yeah! It ain't the first time
it's happened either!
198
00:17:50,268 --> 00:17:53,044
I mean, I think, there
should be a law or something against that!
199
00:17:53,231 --> 00:17:54,984
Yeah, I know. All I wanna know
is where they've got...
200
00:17:56,651 --> 00:17:58,015
Ere. What did you say just then?
201
00:17:58,876 --> 00:18:02,861
I said it ain't the first time it's happened either!!
D'you remember yer cousin Audrey?
202
00:18:03,579 --> 00:18:05,979
I went and stayed with her and
her husband Kevin for a year.
203
00:18:06,301 --> 00:18:08,937
One day they sent me down to
Sainsbury's with a shopping list.
204
00:18:09,579 --> 00:18:15,251
When I come back they'd
emigrated! Not a dicky bird to me though!
205
00:18:16,236 --> 00:18:19,223
Then there was young Gillian, you know,
Patsy's girl.
206
00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:22,845
I went over there to give her a bit of
comfort 'cos her husband was on nights.
207
00:18:23,409 --> 00:18:29,875
Six months later she sets fire to the house.
She got three months medical supervision for that!
208
00:18:30,673 --> 00:18:36,887
I can remember thinking as I stood on the ledge
and jumped into the fireman's net 'That's gratitude for you.'
209
00:18:40,594 --> 00:18:42,405
I ain't 'arf got a funny feeling Del!
210
00:18:44,755 --> 00:18:51,996
So have I Rodney! I feel like a turkey who's just caught
Bernard Mathews grinning at him!
211
00:18:55,326 --> 00:18:56,713
What shall I do with these then?
212
00:18:57,519 --> 00:19:00,572
I tell you what you ought to
do with these shall I, put 'em in here right.
213
00:19:01,010 --> 00:19:03,540
In they go, in there, 'cos you're not staying here.
214
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,642
No, of course not! Just for a
couple of days that's all!
215
00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:09,923
No, no, no, not for a couple
of days, not for one day!
216
00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:13,550
There's a seaman's mission down there at St Katherine's.
You go down here, go on.
217
00:19:13,883 --> 00:19:17,883
Well, I thought I'd just have a look at the local paper,
and find meself some digs.
218
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:20,873
Yeah, that's a good idea Uncle.
They'll have a local paper down at the mission!
219
00:19:21,075 --> 00:19:22,214
Now, go on sling your hook.
220
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,815
Yeah - alright Del! Don't mind
if I have a quick cup of tea do you?
221
00:19:25,995 --> 00:19:28,850
No, go on there's a flask of cold tea out there
and some vol-au-vents from yesterday.
222
00:19:29,011 --> 00:19:31,076
- Go on, you can have them.
- Cheers son!
223
00:19:35,822 --> 00:19:37,168
What are you doing, winding him up?
224
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,907
Yeah, yeah, I'm winding him up
aren't I. I'm winding him up!
225
00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:45,691
Del, he only wants to stay for
a couple of nights, and get himself sorted out!
226
00:19:45,889 --> 00:19:47,766
- He's a Trotter Rodney.
- We're Trotters!
227
00:19:47,957 --> 00:19:51,213
Yes I know, but we take after
Mum in nature. He's from Dad's side of the family!
228
00:19:51,446 --> 00:19:54,876
You know what they're like. You offer
'em a cup of tea and they think you've adopted 'em.
229
00:19:55,343 --> 00:19:57,970
Look at that time when Dad came
round here he wanted to stay 'one' night!
230
00:19:58,453 --> 00:20:00,426
- Took us nigh on a fortnight to get rid of him!
231
00:20:06,430 --> 00:20:08,793
- Uncle Albert might not be like that!
232
00:20:09,073 --> 00:20:10,475
Oh leave it out Rodney!
233
00:20:10,768 --> 00:20:12,713
You've heard him yourself when he was
telling us about that time
234
00:20:12,854 --> 00:20:16,753
he came round the Cape of Good
Hope, he was three months on the same wave!
235
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:24,882
I don't believe you Del, I do
not believe that you of all people, could!
236
00:20:27,638 --> 00:20:28,721
Where do you think you're going?
237
00:20:28,909 --> 00:20:32,300
I'm going down the caff, I'm
gonna get some grub and some better company!
238
00:20:37,682 --> 00:20:39,503
I'm gonna put some clothes on first!
239
00:21:07,411 --> 00:21:08,701
You've changed Del!
240
00:21:08,898 --> 00:21:11,118
Yeah, well it's about time you did, come on,
we've got to go down the market later on.
241
00:21:11,406 --> 00:21:15,778
I mean your personality has changed!
I've seen a side of you I never knew existed!
242
00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:19,571
You don't understand Rodney!
243
00:21:19,772 --> 00:21:21,071
You're right about that Del!
244
00:21:21,513 --> 00:21:24,817
I mean, look at you last night,
you was laughing you was drinking,
245
00:21:25,390 --> 00:21:29,351
I mean, why didn't you just put yer Money M
record on Del, we could have had a good old knees up!
246
00:21:31,128 --> 00:21:36,645
It was Grandad's...How could you
get over it so easily?
247
00:21:37,862 --> 00:21:50,271
Get over it? What a plonker you really are Rodney. Get
over it. I ain't even started yet!!! Ain't even started bruv!
248
00:21:50,832 --> 00:21:54,560
And d'you know why?
Because I don't know how to!!!
249
00:21:54,961 --> 00:22:01,016
That's why I've survived all my life
with a smile and a prayer! I'm Del Boy ain't I!
250
00:22:01,159 --> 00:22:06,717
Good old Del Boy - he's got more bounce than Zebedee!
'Ere you are pal, hat you drinking? Go on!
251
00:22:06,936 --> 00:22:11,939
Hello darling, you have one for luck!!' That's me,
that's Del Boy innit? Nothing ever upsets Del Boy.
252
00:22:13,641 --> 00:22:15,243
I've always played the tough guy!
253
00:22:15,454 --> 00:22:23,898
I didn't want to, but I had to and I've played it for so
long now, I don't know how to be anything else!
254
00:22:26,624 --> 00:22:34,659
I don't even know how to...Oh it don't
matter! Bloody family!
255
00:22:34,848 --> 00:22:37,531
I've finished with 'em!
What do they do to you, eh?
256
00:22:39,106 --> 00:22:48,742
They hold you back, drag you down,
and then they break yer bloody heart!
257
00:22:53,291 --> 00:22:54,694
I'm sorry.
258
00:23:15,864 --> 00:23:18,702
- Alright there, alright. Hello darling.
- I'll be over there.
259
00:23:18,894 --> 00:23:21,923
Okay, alright. Alright pal,
what you drinking? Give him one.
260
00:23:22,268 --> 00:23:25,586
I'll have a Malibu and tonic with some lime
and 'alf of lager, please darling.
261
00:23:26,098 --> 00:23:30,818
- In the same glass?
- No, in separate ones if you don't mind!
262
00:23:31,225 --> 00:23:35,069
Well I don't know do I, it might have been
one of your erotic cocktails, Del.
263
00:23:36,405 --> 00:23:38,391
Saucy little cow that one, ain't she, eh?
264
00:23:39,179 --> 00:23:41,011
- Alright Del?
- Yeah, brill! Triffic. How's things?
265
00:23:41,257 --> 00:23:42,326
Oh you know, quiet.
266
00:23:42,860 --> 00:23:46,006
Here, you know that old boy that was at
the funeral, him with the beard?
267
00:23:46,339 --> 00:23:49,654
- He was in here lunchtime.
- Oh yeah?
268
00:23:49,906 --> 00:23:51,258
What is he? A relative or something?
269
00:23:51,473 --> 00:23:53,501
Nah - well yeah, I mean, he's
a distant relative, yeah.
270
00:23:53,897 --> 00:23:58,259
We was telling me all about his wartime dramas.
Torpedoed five time, dive-bombed twice.
271
00:23:58,501 --> 00:23:59,673
He's a bit of a jinx ain't he?
272
00:23:59,946 --> 00:24:01,499
Yeah. You know what his last
job was don't you?
273
00:24:01,907 --> 00:24:09,506
He was entertainments officer on
the Belgrano. Straight up. Cheers darling.
274
00:24:09,736 --> 00:24:11,836
- One pound eighty please.
- Alright, there you go. Go on. Have one for luck.
275
00:24:13,208 --> 00:24:15,184
Oh that reminds me Del, about
all that booze yesterday?
276
00:24:15,372 --> 00:24:18,873
Yeah, what about it! Went down
a treat didn't it? See you later Mike.
277
00:24:24,305 --> 00:24:25,867
- I wonder where he is?
- Eh, who?
278
00:24:26,594 --> 00:24:27,614
Uncle Albert!
279
00:24:27,814 --> 00:24:31,945
Oh him, oh, well he's down the seaman's by now ain't he,
eh, got himself a lovely bed,
280
00:24:32,125 --> 00:24:36,817
blinding little locker - yeah, he's as happy
as a pig in sugar! He is yeah.
281
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,447
Yeah I suppose so but...makes
you think don't it?
282
00:24:41,641 --> 00:24:45,931
A man fights for his country like
that, you know, laying his life on the line.
283
00:24:47,237 --> 00:24:49,570
D'you know he went down with five
different ships!
284
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:53,944
Yeah! I know, I don't know why he just didn't join
the submarine corps in the first place.
285
00:25:08,577 --> 00:25:11,625
- He's got a nasty cough! Ain't he?
- Yeah, pity Boots ain't open innit!
286
00:25:19,469 --> 00:25:21,970
- You alright Unc?
- Yeah, fine son, ta.
287
00:25:22,333 --> 00:25:23,940
Yeah good. Did you go down
the mission then?
288
00:25:24,210 --> 00:25:26,281
Yeah I went down there, but it
ain't there no more!
289
00:25:26,708 --> 00:25:30,987
They knocked it down, built some
luxury flats and a marina!
290
00:25:33,969 --> 00:25:35,905
Look, I ain't got very much...
I've got what...
291
00:25:36,991 --> 00:25:42,601
Put yer money away Rodney, I
don't want it! Thanks for the offer though.
292
00:25:43,364 --> 00:25:49,574
Go 'n, you get back to Del. Don't you worry
about me. Alright? Don't worry!
293
00:26:01,218 --> 00:26:05,533
It's alright Rodney, nothing
to worry about! It's just me lungs.
294
00:26:07,962 --> 00:26:15,508
We hit a mine coming back from Normandy. I was
trapped for 12 hours in a smoke-filled engine room.
295
00:26:17,182 --> 00:26:20,138
Well, if it's not one thing
it's the other, eh?
296
00:26:25,181 --> 00:26:26,908
He ain't got nowhere to sleep
tonight!
297
00:26:27,725 --> 00:26:31,060
He went down the mission, it's not there any
more - there's just a marina.
298
00:26:31,658 --> 00:26:33,492
Well can't he kip in the back
of that?
299
00:26:37,783 --> 00:26:44,621
A yachting marina! Come on Del
- that's Grandad's brother sitting over there.
300
00:26:44,841 --> 00:26:46,537
Where do you want him to sleep, eh?
A dosshouse?
301
00:26:46,849 --> 00:26:50,597
Listen Rodney, that bloke has
been in shark-infested seas, right,
302
00:26:50,821 --> 00:26:55,169
he's been attacked by kamikaze pilots, and blown up
more times than a beach-ball!
303
00:26:56,511 --> 00:26:58,895
One night in a dosshouse
ain't gonna do him any harm, is it?
304
00:27:00,639 --> 00:27:07,851
- You don't believe all them stories do you?
- What? Do you reckon they're porkies?
305
00:27:10,528 --> 00:27:16,153
Well of course they are! I didn't wanna say nothing
'cos, you know, he's a proud man!
306
00:27:16,451 --> 00:27:19,243
What proud? Him? He comes from
Dad's side of the family doesn't he?
307
00:27:19,587 --> 00:27:22,267
No, I just offered him a
couple of quid and he wouldn't take a penny!
308
00:27:22,795 --> 00:27:26,253
No, well, he wouldn't would he,
he's still got the hundred quid I gave him this afternoon!
309
00:27:27,775 --> 00:27:31,965
- You gave him a hundred pounds?
- Yeah! You don't think I'd let him go potless do yer?
310
00:27:33,153 --> 00:27:34,764
Is that why you can't pay Mike
for the booze?
311
00:27:35,674 --> 00:27:38,169
Oh come on, come on.
312
00:27:42,487 --> 00:27:43,623
Alright?
313
00:27:44,323 --> 00:27:49,048
Yeah, alright son. Just having
a drop of rum, warm the old cockles.
314
00:27:50,467 --> 00:27:52,659
- You eaten?
- Na, not yet.
315
00:27:53,628 --> 00:27:56,374
Then why didn't you have something to eat
when you was in here at lunchtime?
316
00:27:56,726 --> 00:27:59,887
Well, all they had left was
sausage and mash and I've gone right off that!
317
00:28:02,915 --> 00:28:06,455
- You fancy an Indian?
- Wouldn't mind son!
318
00:28:07,223 --> 00:28:09,668
We'd never get a table this
time of night, Del.
319
00:28:10,830 --> 00:28:13,764
No. We'll have to get a takeaway,
and eat it at home!
320
00:28:15,644 --> 00:28:19,691
Yes, that's what we'll do,
we'll get a take-away and eat it at home...Eh?
321
00:28:20,619 --> 00:28:24,922
It it's alright with you two
Del. Thanks.
322
00:28:25,536 --> 00:28:28,764
Don't know what you're thanking me for,
you're paying!
323
00:28:31,422 --> 00:28:34,374
Come on Sinbad, let's get down there
before the health inspector!
324
00:28:40,826 --> 00:28:42,508
Oh, I'm glad I caught you.
325
00:28:42,701 --> 00:28:44,868
I've just phoned the mission
and they said they've got a bed for you.
326
00:28:49,957 --> 00:28:54,466
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