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1
00:00:02,825 --> 00:00:04,808
* Kentucky bourbon flight *
2
00:00:04,827 --> 00:00:06,326
- * Kentuck... Kentuck... *
- Hey.
3
00:00:06,420 --> 00:00:08,328
Oh, hey, sorry, did I wake you?
4
00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,239
No. Snowball either puked up her dinner,
5
00:00:11,258 --> 00:00:13,834
or she's going through
a Jackson Pollock phase.
6
00:00:13,986 --> 00:00:16,244
Well, at least it wasn't
in my slippers this time.
7
00:00:16,338 --> 00:00:19,656
That was a squishy 2:00
a.m. trip to the bathroom.
8
00:00:19,675 --> 00:00:21,249
What were you playing?
9
00:00:21,343 --> 00:00:22,492
Oh, a song I'm working on.
10
00:00:22,511 --> 00:00:24,177
I want something new
for when that producer
11
00:00:24,254 --> 00:00:25,495
comes to see me play.
12
00:00:25,514 --> 00:00:26,680
Well, if you need a beatboxer,
13
00:00:26,681 --> 00:00:28,515
I just finished Doug
E. Fresh's MasterClass.
14
00:00:28,609 --> 00:00:30,667
Oh.
15
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,260
That was on there?
16
00:00:32,279 --> 00:00:35,172
And I wasted three hours
listening to Melinda Gates
17
00:00:35,190 --> 00:00:37,449
teach me about impactful giving.
18
00:00:37,676 --> 00:00:39,100
Play your song for me.
19
00:00:39,194 --> 00:00:41,511
- It's not done. I don't...
- Oh, come on.
20
00:00:41,530 --> 00:00:42,937
I mean, if you get stuck on a rhyme,
21
00:00:43,031 --> 00:00:44,348
I'm pretty good.
22
00:00:44,516 --> 00:00:45,866
Salad, valid.
23
00:00:46,018 --> 00:00:48,368
I was saving it for a birthday
card, but you can have it.
24
00:00:49,964 --> 00:00:52,965
Okay, all right. It's a
work in progress, though.
25
00:00:59,198 --> 00:01:02,366
* A friend from way back when *
26
00:01:02,384 --> 00:01:05,051
* Who came around again *
27
00:01:05,204 --> 00:01:08,296
* I can't believe it took so long *
28
00:01:08,315 --> 00:01:11,150
* But you were worth *
29
00:01:11,377 --> 00:01:12,709
* The wait... *
30
00:01:12,802 --> 00:01:16,396
I'm a friend from way back
when. Is this song about me?
31
00:01:16,548 --> 00:01:18,139
My mother says I wasn't worth the wait,
32
00:01:18,233 --> 00:01:19,900
but maybe Max disagrees.
33
00:01:20,052 --> 00:01:22,995
* Tousled hair and shining eyes *
34
00:01:23,146 --> 00:01:25,998
* Couldn't lose me if you tried *
35
00:01:26,191 --> 00:01:29,393
* I look at you, and I'm at home *
36
00:01:29,411 --> 00:01:32,412
* 'Cause you were worth *
37
00:01:32,506 --> 00:01:33,730
* The wait *
38
00:01:33,823 --> 00:01:35,582
My hair's always tousled.
39
00:01:35,734 --> 00:01:38,919
I haven't gotten a comb
through this thing in years.
40
00:01:39,013 --> 00:01:41,329
* Karaoke nights *
41
00:01:41,348 --> 00:01:44,183
* Kentucky bourbon flights *
42
00:01:44,410 --> 00:01:46,243
* Singin' Billy Joel *
43
00:01:46,261 --> 00:01:49,855
* Until we saw the dawn *
44
00:01:50,006 --> 00:01:53,250
* 'Cause you were worth *
45
00:01:53,343 --> 00:01:54,526
* The wait. *
46
00:01:54,678 --> 00:01:57,512
Okay, that's me because that happened.
47
00:01:57,606 --> 00:01:59,698
Move over, "Layla" and "Billie Jean,"
48
00:01:59,849 --> 00:02:02,609
I just got my own song.
49
00:02:03,762 --> 00:02:05,929
That's as far as I've gotten so far.
50
00:02:05,948 --> 00:02:07,539
- That is amazing.
- Mm-hmm.
51
00:02:07,691 --> 00:02:09,541
You painted such a vivid picture,
52
00:02:09,768 --> 00:02:11,543
I felt like I was there.
53
00:02:11,695 --> 00:02:13,587
Because I was.
54
00:02:14,456 --> 00:02:16,273
Well, it's got a long way to go,
55
00:02:16,366 --> 00:02:18,442
but I'm glad you like it.
56
00:02:18,460 --> 00:02:20,177
I love it.
57
00:02:25,559 --> 00:02:26,874
- Hey, um...
- Mm?
58
00:02:26,969 --> 00:02:28,285
Since we're both up, you, uh,
59
00:02:28,303 --> 00:02:29,561
want to have a little fun on the couch?
60
00:02:29,713 --> 00:02:32,138
Oh, fun on the couch, I
like the sound of that.
61
00:02:32,215 --> 00:02:33,881
Yeah? Do you like the sound of this?
62
00:02:33,976 --> 00:02:36,718
Oh.
63
00:02:41,575 --> 00:02:42,575
- Hi.
- Hi.
64
00:02:42,726 --> 00:02:45,393
I can't help but notice you've bonded
65
00:02:45,487 --> 00:02:47,061
with Meow-im Bialik.
66
00:02:47,081 --> 00:02:50,374
What can I say, I lost
a bet to the writers.
67
00:02:51,159 --> 00:02:52,734
Just so you know,
68
00:02:52,828 --> 00:02:55,236
all of our cats are
available for rescue.
69
00:02:55,256 --> 00:02:57,238
If you're interested,
70
00:02:57,332 --> 00:02:58,757
just fill out this application
71
00:02:58,926 --> 00:03:00,759
and answer a few simple questions.
72
00:03:00,928 --> 00:03:02,486
Great, I'd love to.
73
00:03:02,579 --> 00:03:04,746
Your cat spends the morning on
a carefree frolic in the garden.
74
00:03:04,765 --> 00:03:07,507
Later, you notice red hives
on its belly. What do you do?
75
00:03:07,659 --> 00:03:09,309
What do you do?!
76
00:03:10,178 --> 00:03:11,344
Take her to the vet?
77
00:03:11,345 --> 00:03:12,347
Good answer.
78
00:03:12,347 --> 00:03:14,014
Sorry I got all up in your face.
79
00:03:14,090 --> 00:03:16,275
I just wanted to simulate
the high-intensity experience
80
00:03:16,443 --> 00:03:18,001
of cat ownership. You did great.
81
00:03:18,003 --> 00:03:19,686
There's a box you can check for
82
00:03:19,763 --> 00:03:21,929
"don't want to talk to this one again."
83
00:03:22,841 --> 00:03:25,266
Go ahead and try and
bring me down, but, uh,
84
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:27,602
my boyfriend is writing a song about me.
85
00:03:27,696 --> 00:03:30,697
Really? What did he
rhyme with "settling"?
86
00:03:30,774 --> 00:03:33,125
Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.
87
00:03:33,276 --> 00:03:34,942
Carter's son is coming
over for the weekend,
88
00:03:35,037 --> 00:03:36,369
so I went out and
bought a bunch of things
89
00:03:36,522 --> 00:03:38,021
I thought a 14-year-old boy might like.
90
00:03:38,114 --> 00:03:41,783
I didn't know the grocery
store sold marijuana and boobs.
91
00:03:41,877 --> 00:03:43,468
I'm gonna be his stepmom soon,
92
00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:45,286
so I want him to come over and have fun,
93
00:03:45,306 --> 00:03:47,380
and then go home and tell
his mom that he likes me more
94
00:03:47,533 --> 00:03:49,032
and that I'm prettier.
95
00:03:49,051 --> 00:03:52,536
Well, if you want, I can help
you put the "step" in stepmom.
96
00:03:59,211 --> 00:04:02,321
February was Black History
Month on MasterClass.
97
00:04:06,902 --> 00:04:08,552
- Hey, Randi.
- Hey, baby.
98
00:04:08,570 --> 00:04:10,387
Little man.
99
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,647
All right, I'm loving this.
100
00:04:12,724 --> 00:04:14,407
Wow, okay, still going.
101
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:15,725
Yeah, okay,
102
00:04:15,744 --> 00:04:16,893
not feeling left out at all.
103
00:04:16,912 --> 00:04:19,755
Starting to feel a little left out.
104
00:04:21,066 --> 00:04:22,657
CJ, I got all your favorite foods.
105
00:04:22,676 --> 00:04:25,827
I got chicken nuggets, chicken
fingers, chicken patties,
106
00:04:25,921 --> 00:04:27,328
and something called Beyond Chicken
107
00:04:27,348 --> 00:04:28,738
that they said tastes like real chicken,
108
00:04:28,757 --> 00:04:30,465
but it really doesn't
taste like chicken.
109
00:04:30,592 --> 00:04:33,185
Just eat your broccoli
and be sad, vegans.
110
00:04:33,412 --> 00:04:35,078
I was kind of feeling Taco Bell.
111
00:04:35,097 --> 00:04:36,763
Oh, tacos are cool, too. Let's go.
112
00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:39,674
Uh, hold up. Now, I love Taco
Bell just as much as anyone.
113
00:04:39,693 --> 00:04:42,510
In fact, I'm the one who got the
Mexican Pizza back on the menu.
114
00:04:42,604 --> 00:04:44,270
My grandfather marched on Washington,
115
00:04:44,423 --> 00:04:45,680
I marched on Chalupa Boulevard.
116
00:04:45,699 --> 00:04:49,034
But Randi bought 200
bucks worth of groceries,
117
00:04:49,203 --> 00:04:51,018
so we're eating here.
118
00:04:51,038 --> 00:04:53,855
- Fine.
- Buzzkill. He always buzzkilling.
119
00:04:53,874 --> 00:04:56,375
Oh, no, no, I'm a part of this one.
120
00:04:58,604 --> 00:05:00,453
Yeah. Uh-uh-uh.
121
00:05:00,606 --> 00:05:02,606
Okay, which one's the producer?
122
00:05:02,624 --> 00:05:04,457
Oh, it's the guy in the
cowboy hat, isn't it?
123
00:05:04,534 --> 00:05:06,126
Sure do like your songs, Max.
124
00:05:06,278 --> 00:05:08,111
I understand your
pretty little filly here
125
00:05:08,130 --> 00:05:09,629
does a mean beatbox.
126
00:05:09,798 --> 00:05:11,297
It's actually Kelsey Morgan,
127
00:05:11,392 --> 00:05:13,133
the woman in the pantsuit.
128
00:05:13,285 --> 00:05:14,784
Ugh, damn the patriarchy.
129
00:05:14,803 --> 00:05:17,654
I've got so much to unlearn.
130
00:05:17,656 --> 00:05:19,064
I'm gonna take my seat.
131
00:05:19,215 --> 00:05:21,141
- Wish me luck.
- Break a leg. And if you get nervous,
132
00:05:21,309 --> 00:05:22,567
just picture the audience naked,
133
00:05:22,719 --> 00:05:25,070
except Randi, I can't compete with that.
134
00:05:26,573 --> 00:05:27,573
You got this, brother.
135
00:05:27,649 --> 00:05:29,825
Yes.
136
00:05:32,228 --> 00:05:34,487
Everyone has one but me.
137
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:36,748
Thanks for coming out. Where's CJ?
138
00:05:36,975 --> 00:05:38,308
At a movie with a friend.
139
00:05:38,310 --> 00:05:40,493
It's rated R, but I taught
him how to buy a ticket
140
00:05:40,646 --> 00:05:41,995
for another movie and sneak in.
141
00:05:42,147 --> 00:05:45,072
Who's the best stepmom
now, Gabrielle Union?
142
00:05:46,485 --> 00:05:48,168
Hey, everybody, I'm Max Kingbird.
143
00:05:48,295 --> 00:05:49,911
Uh, so glad to be here.
144
00:05:49,930 --> 00:05:52,079
I'm gonna start with something new.
145
00:05:52,174 --> 00:05:55,434
Uh, it's a little different,
but very personal to me.
146
00:05:55,661 --> 00:05:57,251
This is it. This is my song.
147
00:05:57,345 --> 00:05:59,604
I'm the "person" in "personal."
148
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:04,926
* A friend from way back when *
149
00:06:04,945 --> 00:06:07,337
* Who came around again *
150
00:06:07,355 --> 00:06:10,523
* I can't believe it took so long *
151
00:06:10,676 --> 00:06:14,619
* But you were worth the wait... *
152
00:06:14,846 --> 00:06:16,529
Wow, this is beautiful.
153
00:06:16,606 --> 00:06:17,864
Don't be jealous.
154
00:06:17,958 --> 00:06:19,516
Just kidding, be totally jealous.
155
00:06:19,609 --> 00:06:22,443
* Up all night we drank champagne *
156
00:06:22,537 --> 00:06:25,538
* Dancin' in the Paris rain *
157
00:06:25,707 --> 00:06:28,783
* You're the reason, ma chérie *
158
00:06:28,877 --> 00:06:32,286
* But you were worth the wait *
159
00:06:32,380 --> 00:06:34,214
When did you guys go to Paris?
160
00:06:34,366 --> 00:06:35,699
Uh, we didn't, but,
161
00:06:35,717 --> 00:06:37,050
you know, uh...
162
00:06:37,219 --> 00:06:39,886
Louisville is the "Par-ee" of Kentucky.
163
00:06:40,981 --> 00:06:43,373
* I want to hold you near *
164
00:06:43,466 --> 00:06:45,967
* Whisper "je t'aime" in your ear... *
165
00:06:46,061 --> 00:06:48,487
You don't speak French. I know
166
00:06:48,638 --> 00:06:50,714
because in high school you insisted
167
00:06:50,716 --> 00:06:53,241
on taking Klingon instead.
168
00:06:56,071 --> 00:06:57,387
* Takin' off our clothes *
169
00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:00,740
* In Fontaine Saint-Michel *
170
00:07:00,909 --> 00:07:04,836
* My sexy mademoiselle... *
171
00:07:04,988 --> 00:07:06,320
Huh...
172
00:07:06,340 --> 00:07:08,248
We never went skinny-dipping.
173
00:07:08,342 --> 00:07:11,092
It's because this song is about me.
174
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,680
- Brigitte?
- Oui.
175
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,255
When Max and I were together,
176
00:07:15,423 --> 00:07:16,923
we skinny-dipped all the time.
177
00:07:17,075 --> 00:07:19,759
In Saint-Tropez, in Rome, at Normandy.
178
00:07:19,911 --> 00:07:22,729
It was a different kind of D-Day.
179
00:07:35,702 --> 00:07:37,594
I eat lots of ice cream,
180
00:07:37,612 --> 00:07:40,372
but I'm still very thin.
181
00:07:40,523 --> 00:07:42,690
Yeah, well, I don't gain
weight from it either
182
00:07:42,709 --> 00:07:44,525
'cause I'm lactose intolerant.
183
00:07:45,879 --> 00:07:48,547
You're not gonna believe
it. I talked to Kelsey,
184
00:07:48,698 --> 00:07:52,050
and she wants to
record with me.
185
00:07:52,201 --> 00:07:53,793
Why aren't you jumping
up and down with me?
186
00:07:53,945 --> 00:07:57,055
It's weird for a grown man to be
jumping up and down by himself.
187
00:07:58,392 --> 00:08:01,290
Max, why did you change
the song you wrote about me
188
00:08:01,291 --> 00:08:04,454
- to be about Brigitte?
- Oh, Kat, I think we both know why.
189
00:08:05,140 --> 00:08:08,090
The song's not about anyone
specifically. I just made it up.
190
00:08:08,467 --> 00:08:10,543
Oh, so you didn't go
skinny-dipping with Brigitte
191
00:08:10,562 --> 00:08:12,303
in La Fontaine Saint-Michel?
192
00:08:12,364 --> 00:08:14,730
I think you're focusing
on the wrong thing here.
193
00:08:14,883 --> 00:08:16,825
Kelsey Morgan is working on songs
194
00:08:16,976 --> 00:08:18,809
for Chris Stapleton's next album.
195
00:08:18,829 --> 00:08:20,829
Can't you just be excited for me?
196
00:08:20,997 --> 00:08:22,313
Well, it's kind of hard to be excited
197
00:08:22,332 --> 00:08:23,739
when you started writing a song about me
198
00:08:23,892 --> 00:08:26,483
and ran out of things
to say 20 seconds in.
199
00:08:26,503 --> 00:08:27,910
And what would he say?
200
00:08:28,063 --> 00:08:31,673
"Oh, Kat, I love your
fruit with the googly eyes"?
201
00:08:31,824 --> 00:08:33,416
I was so excited to
tell you my good news,
202
00:08:33,568 --> 00:08:36,010
and you're kind of crapping all over it.
203
00:08:36,237 --> 00:08:38,805
It is because she ate ice cream.
204
00:08:41,834 --> 00:08:45,078
Yes! Winner, winner, chicken dinner.
205
00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:46,579
And breakfast and lunch.
206
00:08:46,598 --> 00:08:48,189
Seriously, y'all, I bought
a buttload of chicken.
207
00:08:48,358 --> 00:08:52,009
All right, Junior, time for
bed. It's a school night.
208
00:08:52,103 --> 00:08:53,528
Aw, give him a break.
209
00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:56,272
I've been taking him to
school these last six games.
210
00:08:56,424 --> 00:08:58,199
Oh, it's on.
211
00:08:58,351 --> 00:09:00,351
No, it's off.
212
00:09:00,445 --> 00:09:02,445
- Aw, man.
- Boo.
213
00:09:02,597 --> 00:09:03,705
Night, little man.
214
00:09:03,856 --> 00:09:05,189
You might want to sleep on your stomach
215
00:09:05,208 --> 00:09:07,433
after that spanking I just gave you.
216
00:09:07,452 --> 00:09:08,784
What are you doing?
217
00:09:08,937 --> 00:09:11,528
- What are you talking about?
- Last night with dinner,
218
00:09:11,548 --> 00:09:12,788
tonight with video games,
219
00:09:12,941 --> 00:09:14,457
you keep making me the bad cop with CJ.
220
00:09:14,609 --> 00:09:16,442
I'm trying to be Chris
Tucker in Rush Hour,
221
00:09:16,461 --> 00:09:19,112
you got me looking like
Denzel in Training Day.
222
00:09:19,130 --> 00:09:21,130
Well, what's the big deal if
I want to spoil him a little?
223
00:09:21,282 --> 00:09:23,799
I want him to know that he's
gonna have a cool stepmom.
224
00:09:23,894 --> 00:09:25,727
But that means I have
to be the hard-ass,
225
00:09:25,803 --> 00:09:28,304
and that's his mom's job. She's Denzel.
226
00:09:28,398 --> 00:09:32,859
Trust me, King Kong
ain't got nothing on her!
227
00:09:34,053 --> 00:09:35,811
Hello, dear.
228
00:09:35,964 --> 00:09:37,906
What are you doing here?
229
00:09:38,091 --> 00:09:39,741
You can't get rid of
any more of my clothes.
230
00:09:39,892 --> 00:09:41,910
I never even got to
wear those orange Crocs.
231
00:09:42,137 --> 00:09:44,987
I know you had a rough night,
so I brought some Chardonnay.
232
00:09:45,156 --> 00:09:47,564
You do realize it's noon?
233
00:09:47,642 --> 00:09:50,734
I know, I'm sorry. I
slept in this morning.
234
00:09:50,828 --> 00:09:52,495
How you doing?
235
00:09:52,589 --> 00:09:53,996
Oh, great.
236
00:09:54,149 --> 00:09:57,074
My boyfriend wrote a song
about his perfect ex-girlfriend,
237
00:09:57,168 --> 00:09:58,242
and I'm having full-fledged
238
00:09:58,261 --> 00:10:00,077
imaginary conversations with her.
239
00:10:00,096 --> 00:10:01,671
It is torturous for me, too.
240
00:10:01,765 --> 00:10:04,432
I look this good, and
no one else can see me.
241
00:10:04,659 --> 00:10:08,327
As you know, I've had a
tune or two written about me.
242
00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:10,329
I was there the morning Lionel Richie
243
00:10:10,423 --> 00:10:11,606
wrote "All Night Long."
244
00:10:11,683 --> 00:10:13,107
And... ?
245
00:10:13,259 --> 00:10:16,427
And nothing. It's just hard to
work that into conversations.
246
00:10:16,446 --> 00:10:19,430
Max says this is just the way he writes,
247
00:10:19,449 --> 00:10:20,615
but I can't shake the feeling
248
00:10:20,766 --> 00:10:22,450
that he'd rather be with Brigitte.
249
00:10:22,601 --> 00:10:23,859
How can you blame him?
250
00:10:24,028 --> 00:10:27,571
He's riding the tea cups
after le Splash Mountain.
251
00:10:28,533 --> 00:10:30,959
Sweetheart, he's lucky to have you.
252
00:10:31,110 --> 00:10:34,445
You're generous and
thoughtful and loving.
253
00:10:34,464 --> 00:10:35,871
But that's boring.
254
00:10:36,024 --> 00:10:38,708
I want to be sexy and
fun and adventurous.
255
00:10:38,802 --> 00:10:41,877
Well, if you want to inspire him,
256
00:10:42,030 --> 00:10:43,805
lean into your wild side.
257
00:10:43,998 --> 00:10:46,866
Do something daring
and a little reckless.
258
00:10:46,884 --> 00:10:49,960
Ooh, like Olivia Newton-John
at the end of Grease.
259
00:10:50,054 --> 00:10:52,796
She got a perm, put on
those tight leather pants,
260
00:10:52,874 --> 00:10:54,373
and rode off in a convertible.
261
00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:55,966
That's a wild girl car.
262
00:10:56,135 --> 00:10:59,879
I was thinking a drug-fueled
weekend in Vegas with you, Max,
263
00:10:59,897 --> 00:11:03,733
and an open-minded
Cirque du Soleil acrobat,
264
00:11:03,885 --> 00:11:05,326
but you do you.
265
00:11:09,268 --> 00:11:10,526
Ooh, grab a controller.
266
00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:13,195
Can't. I'm meeting a friend
at the library to study.
267
00:11:13,289 --> 00:11:14,956
How are you supposed to
get better at video games
268
00:11:15,183 --> 00:11:17,683
if you keep going to the
library on a Saturday?
269
00:11:17,702 --> 00:11:20,128
See, this is why China
is kicking our ass.
270
00:11:20,279 --> 00:11:22,130
I've got a project.
271
00:11:22,131 --> 00:11:23,133
Okay.
272
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:26,801
Wait, what's clinking
around in your backpack?
273
00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:28,118
Nothing.
274
00:11:28,138 --> 00:11:29,712
Boy, I'm from Detroit,
275
00:11:29,864 --> 00:11:32,974
smuggling beer in a backpack
is called a Motown Special.
276
00:11:33,050 --> 00:11:34,809
Wh...
277
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,218
What is wrong with you?
278
00:11:36,371 --> 00:11:38,387
They weren't for me. My
friend Preston wanted them,
279
00:11:38,481 --> 00:11:40,556
but if he's pressuring me to drink,
280
00:11:40,708 --> 00:11:42,708
I see now he's not a real friend at all.
281
00:11:42,801 --> 00:11:45,060
Save that weak-ass line for your dad.
282
00:11:45,213 --> 00:11:47,730
- Oh, what? You're gonna tell him?
- Of course I am.
283
00:11:47,882 --> 00:11:49,548
If I told him that
Drake slid into my DMs,
284
00:11:49,683 --> 00:11:50,733
I'm gonna tell him this.
285
00:11:50,902 --> 00:11:52,309
- But Randi...
- Uh-uh, go to your room
286
00:11:52,328 --> 00:11:54,978
or time-out or whatever that
crap is that parents say.
287
00:11:55,072 --> 00:11:57,056
If you tell my dad, then
he's gonna tell my mom,
288
00:11:57,074 --> 00:11:58,074
and she's gonna go nuts.
289
00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:01,394
I guess you're not as cool as I thought.
290
00:12:01,412 --> 00:12:02,412
CJ...
291
00:12:02,563 --> 00:12:04,005
Whatever.
292
00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:09,159
Okay, fine, fine. I won't tell him.
293
00:12:09,179 --> 00:12:10,736
Seriously? You're the best.
294
00:12:10,829 --> 00:12:13,422
I know. I know. Just make
sure your mom knows, too.
295
00:12:13,516 --> 00:12:15,257
And if you could somehow
work into the conversation
296
00:12:15,351 --> 00:12:17,243
that I know Drake, even better.
297
00:12:17,261 --> 00:12:20,354
I will. Thank you so much.
298
00:12:21,191 --> 00:12:25,067
And just so you know, you wrap
the bottles in a towel, fool.
299
00:12:27,755 --> 00:12:30,514
Is it hot in here or is it just me?
300
00:12:30,608 --> 00:12:32,867
Trick question, it's both.
301
00:12:34,278 --> 00:12:36,204
Hey. Whoa, you look amazing.
302
00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:37,596
Ooh,
303
00:12:37,615 --> 00:12:39,448
sex candles. Race you to naked.
304
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:40,950
This counts as foreplay.
305
00:12:41,102 --> 00:12:43,602
- No, no, no, no. Not yet. We'll get there.
- Oh. Oh...
306
00:12:43,621 --> 00:12:48,049
Because it's our anniversary
that I did not forget.
307
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,867
I ordered your gift, but,
you know, supply chain.
308
00:12:50,945 --> 00:12:53,537
Well, it's not our anniversary.
309
00:12:53,556 --> 00:12:55,965
I wanted to do something
to celebrate your good news
310
00:12:56,117 --> 00:12:57,725
about the producer with a romantic night
311
00:12:57,876 --> 00:12:59,468
of spontaneous adventure where
312
00:12:59,620 --> 00:13:01,729
- anything can happen.
- Aw, cool.
313
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,731
- Well, we could go b...
- No, no, no, no,
314
00:13:03,958 --> 00:13:05,458
a romantic night of
spontaneous adventure
315
00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:06,901
that I have completely planned out.
316
00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:09,645
A real adventure or a Kat adventure?
317
00:13:09,739 --> 00:13:11,297
Because a Kat adventure always means
318
00:13:11,299 --> 00:13:14,467
I have to look up words I
don't know, like ornithology.
319
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,393
Just say we're going bird-watching,
320
00:13:16,412 --> 00:13:17,894
so I can get high first.
321
00:13:17,914 --> 00:13:20,473
Well, tonight, we're gonna get high
322
00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:23,084
on excitement and temerity.
323
00:13:24,328 --> 00:13:25,661
It means recklessness.
324
00:13:25,813 --> 00:13:29,215
Now, go put on some
clothes for getting cr-azy.
325
00:13:30,426 --> 00:13:32,835
You really think you
can compete with me?
326
00:13:33,596 --> 00:13:36,931
After tonight, Max will
be so inspired by me,
327
00:13:37,158 --> 00:13:39,158
he will never think of you again.
328
00:13:39,251 --> 00:13:40,559
So...
329
00:13:44,348 --> 00:13:46,524
Step off.
330
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,026
Okay, here we are.
331
00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:58,619
Okay, get ready.
332
00:13:58,812 --> 00:14:01,180
One...
333
00:14:01,198 --> 00:14:03,031
- two. I did it on two.
- Whoa.
334
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,700
Temerity.
335
00:14:04,794 --> 00:14:06,352
Water tower?
336
00:14:06,445 --> 00:14:08,945
- You gonna whack me?
- No.
337
00:14:08,965 --> 00:14:11,707
We're gonna sneak in this locked gate.
338
00:14:11,859 --> 00:14:14,693
Uh, whoa, rebellious much?
339
00:14:14,712 --> 00:14:17,880
Climb this bad boy, take
in a spectacular view,
340
00:14:18,032 --> 00:14:20,032
and then write our
names on a little heart
341
00:14:20,051 --> 00:14:21,291
for all the world to see.
342
00:14:21,385 --> 00:14:23,569
You're not exactly dressed for climbing.
343
00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:26,296
Hey, if my mother can
do a 5K walk in heels
344
00:14:26,390 --> 00:14:28,149
to support bringing back quaaludes,
345
00:14:28,376 --> 00:14:29,892
I can climb this water tower.
346
00:14:30,044 --> 00:14:32,211
Right.
347
00:14:32,304 --> 00:14:34,638
Just get in here like this.
348
00:14:34,657 --> 00:14:36,640
- Here we go. Oh!
- Oh.
349
00:14:36,659 --> 00:14:38,826
Uh-oh. Ow. Uh, my hair's caught.
350
00:14:38,977 --> 00:14:41,162
Well, not my hair, my extensions.
351
00:14:41,313 --> 00:14:42,813
They're polyester like my dress.
352
00:14:42,832 --> 00:14:44,981
I guess my theme tonight is "flammable."
353
00:14:45,001 --> 00:14:47,501
- I got you. Ready?
- Ow! Ow. No. Ow.
354
00:14:47,728 --> 00:14:49,395
That's actually making it
worse. Let me just... I got it.
355
00:14:49,413 --> 00:14:51,730
- Okay? Just let me get it.
- Okay.
356
00:14:51,749 --> 00:14:52,749
Ow. Ah.
357
00:14:56,179 --> 00:14:58,346
Oh, my God, are you okay?
358
00:14:58,497 --> 00:14:59,755
I'm good.
359
00:14:59,907 --> 00:15:02,475
What a spontaneous moment.
360
00:15:03,411 --> 00:15:05,578
All right, let me just, uh,
361
00:15:05,596 --> 00:15:08,004
let me just wipe my
hands off on this garbage
362
00:15:08,173 --> 00:15:09,173
and then the, uh,
363
00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:11,650
the fun will begin.
364
00:15:14,349 --> 00:15:15,607
- Hey, baby.
- Hey.
365
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:18,944
Guess who ate 76 olives
in under a minute?
366
00:15:19,096 --> 00:15:20,929
I don't know, but he
sounds like an idiot.
367
00:15:21,023 --> 00:15:23,265
Yeah, yeah, that Darren.
368
00:15:23,284 --> 00:15:24,933
He sure is stupid.
369
00:15:25,027 --> 00:15:26,710
Hey, I was thinking, uh, tomorrow,
370
00:15:26,937 --> 00:15:28,062
we take CJ to Dave & Buster's.
371
00:15:28,064 --> 00:15:30,196
Seal the deal that you
the coolest stepmom.
372
00:15:30,216 --> 00:15:33,108
S-So, listen, something
happened earlier,
373
00:15:33,168 --> 00:15:35,719
and I felt like I did the
right thing at the time,
374
00:15:35,946 --> 00:15:39,372
but... now I kind of feel like
I should tell you about it.
375
00:15:39,466 --> 00:15:43,209
Damn it, is Drake's light-skinned
ass texting you again?
376
00:15:43,304 --> 00:15:45,563
It's not that.
377
00:15:45,714 --> 00:15:48,548
- I caught CJ stealing beer.
- What?
378
00:15:48,568 --> 00:15:49,900
But I promised him that I wouldn't tell,
379
00:15:50,127 --> 00:15:51,128
so you can't do anything about it.
380
00:15:51,128 --> 00:15:52,552
He stole a bottle of my beer,
381
00:15:52,646 --> 00:15:54,630
I'm gonna open up a
can of my whoop-ass.
382
00:15:54,648 --> 00:15:56,298
But if you snitch on me being a snitch
383
00:15:56,317 --> 00:15:57,766
then we both gonna get stitches,
384
00:15:57,768 --> 00:15:59,968
and it's a new year, so I
know you're not even close
385
00:15:59,987 --> 00:16:01,320
to fulfilling your deductible.
386
00:16:01,672 --> 00:16:03,263
Look, drinking is different
387
00:16:03,282 --> 00:16:05,524
than fast food for
dinner or video games.
388
00:16:05,676 --> 00:16:07,175
If you let him slide on this,
389
00:16:07,269 --> 00:16:08,529
he's gonna think he can
get away with anything.
390
00:16:08,529 --> 00:16:11,079
Yeah, Drake said the same thing.
391
00:16:12,274 --> 00:16:14,274
I just don't want him to hate me.
392
00:16:14,326 --> 00:16:15,775
I get it.
393
00:16:15,869 --> 00:16:18,278
You're about to be a stepmom
to a teenager, that isn't easy.
394
00:16:18,297 --> 00:16:20,522
This is the hardest part
about being a parent.
395
00:16:20,541 --> 00:16:22,574
If they don't hate
you every now and then,
396
00:16:22,709 --> 00:16:25,010
it means you're not doing it right.
397
00:16:26,213 --> 00:16:27,529
Okay.
398
00:16:27,622 --> 00:16:29,364
I guess we should just go talk to him.
399
00:16:29,457 --> 00:16:31,975
I'll do it by myself,
take the heat off of you.
400
00:16:32,202 --> 00:16:34,460
No, no, I want to be there.
401
00:16:34,513 --> 00:16:36,522
So, do we use your belt or mine?
402
00:16:37,465 --> 00:16:39,358
Kidding. Right?
403
00:16:42,713 --> 00:16:44,729
Oh, wow.
404
00:16:44,882 --> 00:16:46,231
This is incredible.
405
00:16:46,383 --> 00:16:48,141
I've never seen the city from up here.
406
00:16:48,235 --> 00:16:51,053
Yeah, and this high up, you
can barely smell the sulfur
407
00:16:51,071 --> 00:16:53,221
from the tire factory.
408
00:16:53,315 --> 00:16:56,649
This is, this is our home town.
409
00:16:56,818 --> 00:16:59,002
Wow!
410
00:16:59,229 --> 00:17:02,005
I feel like Beyoncé in "Crazy In Love."
411
00:17:02,157 --> 00:17:03,507
I, uh,
412
00:17:03,676 --> 00:17:07,327
wrote you a poem for tonight.
413
00:17:07,495 --> 00:17:08,846
Just... Oh!
414
00:17:09,073 --> 00:17:12,407
Oh! Crap. There it goes.
415
00:17:12,426 --> 00:17:14,500
You'll have to trust
me, it was really good.
416
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,854
I rhymed "salad" and "valid."
417
00:17:17,005 --> 00:17:20,265
I don't need a poem. Come here.
418
00:17:20,417 --> 00:17:22,025
Oh...
419
00:17:22,177 --> 00:17:25,529
My heel's caught.
420
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,105
Oh.
421
00:17:28,775 --> 00:17:30,592
You okay?
422
00:17:30,685 --> 00:17:32,260
I've never been better.
423
00:17:32,279 --> 00:17:34,779
This is the Louisville Police.
424
00:17:34,874 --> 00:17:36,206
You are trespassing.
425
00:17:38,026 --> 00:17:39,192
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
426
00:17:39,286 --> 00:17:42,771
Oh, it's okay. Just another memory.
427
00:17:42,789 --> 00:17:45,757
We'll be right down.
428
00:17:46,793 --> 00:17:49,111
Our night ended in handcuffs, too,
429
00:17:49,129 --> 00:17:51,972
but not in the same way.
430
00:18:04,069 --> 00:18:06,461
Sorry tonight was such a fail.
431
00:18:06,554 --> 00:18:10,482
Only song you could write
about this would be "Womp Womp."
432
00:18:11,635 --> 00:18:14,745
I kind of thought that's
what this was about.
433
00:18:14,972 --> 00:18:17,305
Why are you trying to
compete with a song?
434
00:18:17,324 --> 00:18:20,976
Because your relationship
with Brigitte was so passionate
435
00:18:20,994 --> 00:18:25,071
and exciting and
chock-full of public nudity.
436
00:18:25,149 --> 00:18:26,906
Well, so is a night on ecstasy,
437
00:18:26,984 --> 00:18:29,075
but when you wake up
naked under an overpass,
438
00:18:29,094 --> 00:18:31,336
you wish you'd never done it.
439
00:18:31,430 --> 00:18:33,013
I have heard.
440
00:18:34,341 --> 00:18:37,351
I'm not with Brigitte for a reason.
441
00:18:39,087 --> 00:18:41,980
I just want to be exciting for you.
442
00:18:42,775 --> 00:18:45,333
You are.
443
00:18:45,352 --> 00:18:48,445
And if what you really need is a song
444
00:18:48,596 --> 00:18:51,189
that's all about you,
445
00:18:51,341 --> 00:18:54,284
I can't think of
anything easier to write.
446
00:18:57,681 --> 00:19:00,791
Would it help if I laid
down a fresh funky beat?
447
00:19:02,035 --> 00:19:04,336
It would not.
448
00:19:08,293 --> 00:19:10,352
* I've been different people *
449
00:19:10,445 --> 00:19:12,854
* As years have passed *
450
00:19:12,873 --> 00:19:14,780
* Didn't know who I was *
451
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,842
* So nothing could last *
452
00:19:17,711 --> 00:19:19,210
* But you fit in my arms *
453
00:19:19,304 --> 00:19:21,787
* Like you fit in my heart *
454
00:19:21,865 --> 00:19:24,199
* There was never a doubt *
455
00:19:24,217 --> 00:19:27,535
* You were always you from the start *
456
00:19:27,554 --> 00:19:29,204
* I didn't know me *
457
00:19:29,222 --> 00:19:32,232
* Till I met you. *
458
00:19:37,047 --> 00:19:39,714
* When you didn't sing about me *
459
00:19:39,807 --> 00:19:41,883
* It made me a little bitchy *
460
00:19:43,403 --> 00:19:45,144
* I think it's 'cause my mom *
461
00:19:45,164 --> 00:19:48,556
* Had sex all night with Lionel Richie *
462
00:19:49,334 --> 00:19:52,652
* She's beautiful in every sense *
463
00:19:52,746 --> 00:19:56,506
* And her hair's still
hanging from that fence *
464
00:19:57,992 --> 00:20:01,085
* When we finally reached the top *
465
00:20:01,180 --> 00:20:05,240
* I felt the wind on my new bald spot *
466
00:20:05,258 --> 00:20:08,668
* And every time I see her *
467
00:20:08,762 --> 00:20:12,338
* There's always something new *
468
00:20:12,416 --> 00:20:14,265
* But the one thing *
469
00:20:14,418 --> 00:20:17,252
* That stays the same *
470
00:20:17,270 --> 00:20:19,696
* My everything *
471
00:20:21,591 --> 00:20:24,618
* I love you. *
472
00:20:27,563 --> 00:20:29,497
You love me?
473
00:20:30,709 --> 00:20:33,376
You need me to sing it again?
474
00:20:33,545 --> 00:20:36,129
Every day.
475
00:20:39,609 --> 00:20:42,177
I love you, too.
476
00:20:52,064 --> 00:20:54,522
Hey.
477
00:20:55,459 --> 00:20:58,293
You ever done it in a cop car?
478
00:20:58,311 --> 00:21:00,144
Uh...
479
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:01,813
No?
480
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:41,000
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