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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:16,618 Fuck it. 2 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,872 Yes. 3 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:34,135 Why don't more people do this? 4 00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:36,846 I'm here for the interview. 5 00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:40,767 There must be some way I can earn this job. 6 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,936 This is an office? 7 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,397 Oh, the desk. 8 00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:47,232 Whoa. Shredded wheat. 9 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,151 Game time. 10 00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:09,462 Fuck. 11 00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:21,516 Hold on, hold on. 12 00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:22,475 All right, all right, all right. 13 00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,102 I'm coming. I'm coming. 14 00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:28,648 - Wait. 15 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,525 Right. Hold on, honey. Let me catch up. Hold on. 16 00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,736 - All right, here we go. - You're a dirty boss. 17 00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:35,113 You're a dirty boss. Yeah, right there. 18 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,322 Oh, fuck. 19 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,324 Dude, beat it. It's a closed set. 20 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,493 - You know what? 21 00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:42,162 You're a part of this now. Whatever. 22 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,998 - You're staying. - Yeah. 23 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,042 This is the weirdest room. 24 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,209 Yeah. 25 00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:50,253 Fucking Beanie Babies? Dark. 26 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:54,090 - Mom is gonna be so mad at us. - What? 27 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,343 I thought this was a job interview! 28 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,136 - Fuck it, sis. Let's do this. - Fuck yeah. 29 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,897 Pete. 30 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,861 - Peter. 31 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:25,622 Yahtzee! 32 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:26,623 Fuck. 33 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:37,550 Uh, dinner's almost ready. 34 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,302 I'm just gonna throw these back in. 35 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:52,899 Peter, where are you going? 36 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,317 Oh, hey, Mom. 37 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:57,862 Uh... yeah, I just-- 38 00:03:57,862 --> 00:04:01,324 I--I think-- I think maybe we should just 39 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,368 take some time a part and maybe 40 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:05,578 not see each other for a little while. 41 00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:08,206 Please, Peter, we're about to have dinner. 42 00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:09,874 Are you still wearing the shirt? 43 00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,626 I'm gonna do Peloton after dinner. 44 00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:12,877 I'm not gonna ruin another shirt. 45 00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:14,379 - Come on. Sit down. 46 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,880 - We're having dinner. - I gotta go. 47 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,298 We haven't seen you in months. 48 00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:18,925 Where could you possibly have to go? 49 00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:21,928 Change your shirt! 50 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,763 I can't believe your mom saw your cum face. 51 00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:26,349 - I have a cum face? - Oh, 100% you do. Yes. 52 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:27,976 - What's it look like? - It looks like 53 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,353 you're throwing up while trying to solve a calculus problem. 54 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,439 It's like-- 55 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,940 - Why are you being mean? 56 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,943 I'm fucked up. I came on my mother. 57 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,820 I'm gonna have to add another therapist to the roster. 58 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,613 This is gonna be a core memory. I'm fucked. 59 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,449 How do you think your mom feels right now? 60 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,908 She seemed weirdly fine with it. 61 00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,952 Alarmingly so. Strong woman. 62 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,458 Was that her? 63 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,501 No, it's my fucking grandfather. 64 00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:55,211 He won't stop calling. 65 00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:57,589 You should call your grandpa back. 66 00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,424 He's your grandpa. Come on. 67 00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:00,675 I can't be around my family right now. 68 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,510 It's just, like, too fucking weird, you know? 69 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:05,305 Yeah, guys tend to do that after they finish. 70 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,556 Are you gonna stop doing schtick? 71 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,350 - This is serious. - This is what you do. 72 00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,185 You run away from people who love you. 73 00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:11,394 I don't do that. 74 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:12,645 Every time something gets intense, 75 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:13,980 it's like you cannot get away fast enough. 76 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,482 - That's not true. - Okay, yeah. 77 00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:16,900 You don't do that. You're right. 78 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,610 - You're totally right. Yeah. - I don't. You're a liar. 79 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,653 So can we talk about, like, how we broke up? 80 00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:25,617 I'm gonna call you an Uber. You made it very weird. 81 00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:40,840 Peter, where the fuck are you? 82 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,009 You don't show up for dinner. I'm calling you. 83 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,470 You make me chase you around like you're a fucking broad. 84 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,263 Answer the phone. 85 00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:50,183 I Googled myself yesterday. 86 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,435 It was bad. 87 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:53,687 It was, like, really bad. 88 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:57,023 Like, I couldn't find one good thing. 89 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,275 Nobody fucks with me. 90 00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:01,986 Hypebeast called you the voice of a generation. 91 00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:03,446 I'm just a fucking-- 92 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,865 I'm a ridiculous joke. 93 00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:08,535 Did you get another Roger the Alien tattoo? 94 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:09,577 Yeah, Ricky Spanish. 95 00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:10,704 You can't keep getting tattoos 96 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,122 put on, put back off, put on. 97 00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:15,917 You're like that snake eating its tail in a circle. 98 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,460 Ow! 99 00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:19,212 - You liked it. - I did like it. 100 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,094 Hey. 101 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,138 Sit down. I got you a drink. 102 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:32,058 So what's been going on? 103 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,977 What'd you do, get another tattoo, Peter? 104 00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:36,354 No, no, I'm burning them off now. 105 00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:37,439 Yeah. 106 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:39,899 All of them? That's too bad. 107 00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:42,027 I always thought you were gonna put some on your face. 108 00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,695 I figured you get balls over here 109 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,155 and a cock coming down your nose 110 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:46,197 right into your mouth. 111 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,076 Funny. No, no, yeah, I don't know. 112 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,995 I just think if I burn them off, you know, 113 00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,538 maybe people will take me more seriously. 114 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,623 It ain't the tattoos, Peter. 115 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,751 Well, I gotta change it up, you know? 116 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,252 I gotta change the way people see me. 117 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,212 People think I'm, like, a joke for some reason. 118 00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:03,798 They see you as a joke because you are a joke. 119 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,675 You act like a fucking joke. 120 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,552 You run around like a kid and you're not a kid anymore. 121 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:08,762 You're a man. 122 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,638 Yeah, but I'm doing good career-wise. 123 00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:11,931 I mean, you know? 124 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,476 Hypebeast called me a voice of a generation. 125 00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:16,811 I don't think that was a compliment. 126 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:18,938 You're unhappy because all you do 127 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:21,399 is try to make yourself happy. 128 00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:24,069 You should try to make somebody else happy once in a while. 129 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:26,905 Do something for somebody. Put a smile on their face. 130 00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:29,324 You'll see. There's big difference. 131 00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:31,868 Try it. 132 00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,372 - Fuck. - Is that blood? 133 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,290 No, it's ketchup. 134 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,584 - But I am dying. - What? 135 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,420 Yo, Pete, do you think I can get a picture? 136 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:43,963 Yeah, sure. 137 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:47,008 Hey, man, you think you can take this pic? 138 00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:49,511 You know, kid, I was having a private conversation 139 00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:51,388 with my grandson, and you come over here 140 00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,640 and you don't say, "Excuse me." 141 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,517 You say that, then you don't have to worry 142 00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,143 about them taking your phone 143 00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,646 and putting it in the bottom of a root beer float. 144 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,564 - Dude. - Get the fuck out of here. 145 00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:02,774 Take your phone and shove it up your ass. 146 00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,150 Get the fuck out of here. 147 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:07,487 This is the generation you want to be the voice of? 148 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,864 - You're dying? - What are you gonna do? 149 00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:13,118 Should you be smoking? 150 00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:15,286 What, you want me to stop now because of that? 151 00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:16,663 Not gonna do any good. 152 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:17,747 No, I mean, like, in here. 153 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,000 Like, in the diner. Can you do that? 154 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:30,719 So, uh... 155 00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:34,389 what are we gonna do about this, huh? 156 00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:36,224 About what? 157 00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:37,767 "About what?" 158 00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:39,561 What, you mean what we were just talking about in there? 159 00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:41,479 - You ask me? - Yeah, I know-- 160 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,148 I know you're showing 161 00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,275 less than what you're feeling, but I-- 162 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:48,194 Yeah, well, you know, I try not to think about it, 163 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:51,031 but where I come from, 164 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,575 if it's time for you to go, you just go. 165 00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:57,037 The fuck can you do about it? 166 00:08:57,037 --> 00:09:00,248 Well, what if I'm not ready for you to go? 167 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,709 Eh, what if I'm not ready to go? 168 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,465 Is there anything you wanna do? 169 00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:11,718 You know, the biggest thing I want, Peter, is, 170 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:14,220 I never spend any time with you alone. 171 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,930 I don't know. 172 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:18,058 I just--I wanna get to know you better. 173 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,477 You get to know me before I'm not around. 174 00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:23,021 So let's do that. 175 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:25,982 Well, then we gotta get together. 176 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:28,234 We should do stuff. You should see what I do. 177 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,612 Sounds like it's gonna be a boys' night out. 178 00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:32,614 Go out with a bang. 179 00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,115 - A bang? Ooh. - All right? Hmm? 180 00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:35,950 Maybe a couple of fucking bangs. 181 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,328 "A couple of fucking bangs." Sounds good to me. 182 00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:43,416 Investigators found a gold-plated Zippo lighter 183 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,085 in Cory's bedroom, although... 184 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,253 Hey, so we gotta decide if you're going 185 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,798 to the dermatologist or the fitting. 186 00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:53,635 What's wrong? You seem down. 187 00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:57,722 My grandpa told me he's dying today. 188 00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,224 Yo, that's terrible, man. I'm sorry. 189 00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,101 - I love your grandpa. - Yeah. 190 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,687 He's always asking me, like, "What are you?" 191 00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:04,938 That's him. 192 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,564 Was he the Italian one or the Jewish one? 193 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:09,609 - The Italian one. - That sucks. 194 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,319 Not that I wanted the Jewish one to die. 195 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,780 I'm just saying, if I had to make a choice-- 196 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,156 Yeah, you don't. 197 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,741 He said he, like, wanted to spend time with me 198 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,160 and have, like, a boys' night, but what does that even mean? 199 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,121 Like, I don't know what to do. This is what we do. 200 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,123 This is what the boys do every night. 201 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,917 - Like, I don't do anything. - A boys' night? 202 00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:28,003 Sounds to me like Grandpa wants to get laid, boy. 203 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,421 Why don't you get him a prostitute? 204 00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:32,132 Oh! Well, I'll be. 205 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:35,051 Like, a tasteful prostitute. Like, a talented one. 206 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,636 One who really makes you believe 207 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,846 that she's in love with you. 208 00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:39,014 Well, he did say he wants me 209 00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:40,682 to put a smile on someone's face. 210 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,809 That's fucking beautiful, my G. 211 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,644 You're like a perverted genie or something. 212 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,146 You like a white Bagger Vance. 213 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,231 You be making wishes come true. It's poetic. 214 00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:49,816 Ugh. 215 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,860 This is gonna be my problem, isn't it? 216 00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:57,323 Do I have to do this? 217 00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:58,783 Yes, that is your job. 218 00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,660 It fits the job description, Evan. 219 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,496 I'm not really sure that that's true. 220 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,748 Come on, man. You got this. 221 00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:06,624 You're Evan, dude. You're the best. 222 00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,168 Do it, man. Be a man. 223 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:11,755 This is when boys turn to men. Boys to men. 224 00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,214 Okay. 225 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:18,178 Hey, hi. It's--Donna, is it, right? 226 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,846 Hi, sweetheart. How's it going? 227 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:22,140 Uh, it's going great. 228 00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,017 - She got big titties? - Uh... 229 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,186 So you want to set up a party? 230 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,562 Yup. Party. 231 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,731 But it would be for... not for me. 232 00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:33,109 - For Joe. - Okay. 233 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:35,528 Am I talking to Joe right now? 234 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,031 Oh, no, no, no. I'm just helping set this up 235 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:41,618 for my boss, but it's not for him either. 236 00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,787 I have a really weird job. 237 00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:45,914 It just, like, keeps getting weirder. 238 00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,415 Why don't we just cut to the chase. 239 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:48,416 What do you want? 240 00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:51,169 Just, like, the standard fare. 241 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:54,381 But, like, gentle and respectful 242 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,174 and, like, kind. 243 00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:58,218 - What the fuck is this? - Gentle caressing. 244 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,178 - Tender kisses. - Dude, do you know my grandpa? 245 00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:01,763 Get the fuck-- my Poppy doesn't want kind. 246 00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:03,056 What are you talking about? 247 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,891 Hey, sorry about that. Hey, what's up? 248 00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:07,394 Oh, now I see what's going on. 249 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,729 Listen, I have partied with all kinds 250 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,815 of high-profile clientele. 251 00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:14,067 No, no, it's really not for me. 252 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,903 - It's for my grandpa Joe. - I'll see you soon, okay? 253 00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:19,447 - Bye, Grandpa. - Bye. 254 00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:21,825 - She seems nice. - Yeah, she's really nice. 255 00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:24,119 - Yeah, we're doing God's work. - Yeah. 256 00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,640 - There he is. - Hey, Peter. 257 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,018 Yeah, you look like the white Steve Harvey. 258 00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:49,686 - You ready to go? 259 00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,521 Well, hold on. Roy's coming. 260 00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:52,856 What do you mean Roy's coming? 261 00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:53,857 You said it was a boys' night out. 262 00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:55,025 No, I didn't say that shit. 263 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,484 You said it. 264 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:57,902 Besides, he's your uncle. 265 00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:59,571 He's not really my uncle. 266 00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:01,364 Don't say that. You'll make him feel bad. 267 00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:02,866 You know his wife's just died. 268 00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,075 That was, like, eight years ago. 269 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:08,038 - Hello, Peter. - Hey! Uncle Roy! 270 00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:09,122 This is exciting. 271 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,999 I feel like I'm on "Entourage" 272 00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,876 with the big movie star here. 273 00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:27,724 Ah, Marla would've loved this, huh? 274 00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:33,563 Now this is how you make a martini. 275 00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:36,232 A little vermouth and pour water in. 276 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,443 Shake it up again. A lot. 277 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,697 And voilà. What do you think? 278 00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:47,118 Or you can enjoy yourself and get a buzz. 279 00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,580 Hello. Excuse me. 280 00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:53,208 I don't suppose you gentlemen have a extra one of those 281 00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:54,709 for a thirsty lady, do you? 282 00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:57,420 - Are you the thirsty lady? - Yes, I am. 283 00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:58,963 They definitely got another one for you. 284 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,549 Oh, nice. I'm Donna. 285 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,426 - I'm Joe. - Nice to meet you. 286 00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:04,594 - This is my friend Roy. - Hello. 287 00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:06,471 - Pleasure. - My grandson Peter. 288 00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:09,891 - Peter, nice to meet you. - Hello, Donna. 289 00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:11,976 Roy, why don't you 290 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,269 give Donna your seat? 291 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,979 I like this seat. 292 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:17,190 Why don't you get the fuck over here so I can talk to you? 293 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,567 All right. 294 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:22,153 - Thank you. - This is nice. 295 00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:24,280 - Okay. - Here you go, Donna. 296 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,408 Look at--thank you. 297 00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:28,576 I kind of wanted this to be a, you know, 298 00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:30,537 special night for me and Pops 'cause, you know, 299 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,038 he's not feeling so well and he's-- 300 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:35,000 - You're a prostitute. - What? 301 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,085 Do you know that she is a hooker? 302 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,045 No offense, darling. You're beautiful. 303 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,131 - No offense taken. - That's not nice. 304 00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:43,216 That's a very mean thing to say. 305 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,969 Is this your big takeaway from our conversation? 306 00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:47,262 I don't know what to do. 307 00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:49,014 You take me to lunch and tell me you're dying? 308 00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:50,515 I scrambled. 309 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:52,517 I thought maybe your last wish was some pussy. 310 00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:53,727 - I don't know. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 311 00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:55,145 Oh, excuse me. 312 00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:57,188 I'll let you boys hash this out. 313 00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:59,149 - Be back in a minute. - Um... 314 00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:01,317 What the fuck is it with you? 315 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,653 Roy, you believe this? 316 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:07,073 My grandson thinks I need a hooker to get laid. 317 00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,366 - I didn't know. - What, are you kidding? 318 00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:09,951 Your grandpa was the Wilt Chamberlain 319 00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:11,161 of Staten Island. 320 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:12,662 First of all, ew. 321 00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:13,872 Hey, if I tattooed 322 00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:15,957 every girl that I ever banged on my body, 323 00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:17,667 I'd be fucking "Memento" over here. 324 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:18,752 Who's Memento? 325 00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:21,212 What did you think was gonna happen? 326 00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:23,048 What if I fell in love with her? 327 00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:26,176 Yeah, Pete, you're playing with fire. 328 00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:28,219 - And I'm fire. - You certainly are. 329 00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:29,888 - Yeah, you are. 330 00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:32,182 Well, we're here. We might as well have some fun. 331 00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:33,892 I'd like to make a toast 332 00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:36,853 to the most handsome gentlemen in this joint. 333 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:40,523 Where are they? 334 00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:42,525 What do you mean, a clown? A real clown? 335 00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:44,486 Honk, honk. Yeah. 336 00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:46,571 Hey, man, can I get a picture with you? 337 00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:49,949 Hey, bartender, give me a root beer float over here. 338 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:53,328 Personal joke. 339 00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:54,788 I'm glad you guys are having fun 340 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:57,123 'cause it did cost 5 grand for the Sinatra suite, so-- 341 00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,542 - $5,000 for a suite? - Yeah. 342 00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:02,545 - For a hooker? - Sinatra better be in there. 343 00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,759 - Here it is. - Two doors. 344 00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:10,220 Oh. Oh, nice. 345 00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:11,596 Wow, the Sinatra suite, huh? 346 00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,890 If these walls could talk, they'd press charges. 347 00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:15,058 - Yup. 348 00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:17,102 Just--this is it too? 349 00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,561 - Yup. Go nuts. - Don't tell me. 350 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:21,356 - Oh, my God. - Are you kidding me? 351 00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:24,526 Gummy bears in a crystal dish? This is so swanky. 352 00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:27,237 And you got strawberries and champagne. 353 00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:29,531 Peter, you watch too many movies. 354 00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:32,492 - Is this fucking classy, huh? - Where'd you get that? 355 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,244 I feel like Daddy Warbucks. 356 00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:36,246 Well, I was an orphan. 357 00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:37,622 - All right. 358 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,565 Oh, look at that. 359 00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:21,291 This is fun. 360 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:22,584 I'm really glad that we did this. 361 00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:24,961 You put a smile on my face tonight. 362 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:27,630 You made Roy happy. We had a great time. 363 00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:31,468 Speaking of Roy, where is he? Where's Donna? 364 00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:33,386 - They're in the bedroom. - Holy shit. 365 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,305 You think they're, like, having sex? 366 00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:36,473 No, they're watching 367 00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:38,016 the fucking Giants, you meathead. 368 00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:40,226 Come on. What do you think? 369 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,312 Not to bring the mood down or anything, but, you know, 370 00:17:42,312 --> 00:17:45,273 it just gets me to thinking, I don't know what I'm gonna do 371 00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:47,484 when you're gone. I'm gonna have nobody. 372 00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:49,110 You're gonna start with that mushy shit again? 373 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,403 No, it's just, you know, 374 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,780 I don't know what I'm gonna do without you. 375 00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,656 - You know? - Peter. 376 00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:55,825 Who gives a fuck about tomorrow? 377 00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:58,203 It's gonna come no matter who's here and who's not here, 378 00:17:58,203 --> 00:17:59,704 so don't worry about it. 379 00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:01,081 At least your plan worked for somebody. 380 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:04,250 - Let's get the fuck out of here. - Let's go. 381 00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:06,628 Ow! Oh, oh! Ow, ow, ow! 382 00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:09,297 - Okay. - I don't know. What is it? 383 00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:10,882 Donna, Roy, are you guys okay? 384 00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:13,802 - No, he is not okay. - I can't move. 385 00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:17,555 - It's my hip dysplasia. - Oh, my dog has that. 386 00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,766 - Porky? - Should I call an ambulance? 387 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:22,519 No, no. No, I'll be okay in a few hours. 388 00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,979 I'm sorry I can't finish the job, sweetheart. 389 00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:26,231 - Peter. - Yeah. 390 00:18:26,231 --> 00:18:28,650 Go over there. See if you can help him. 391 00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:31,361 Oh, that's okay, darling. It's very common, actually. 392 00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:32,946 Fuck is wrong with you? Help him up. 393 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:37,450 - All right, come on. - All right, you ready? 394 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,285 Careful. He's inside of me. 395 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:41,246 - Hey, kiddo. - Yeah? 396 00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:43,164 Why don't you just 397 00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:45,458 rock me back and forth for a couple minutes, 398 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,168 and then I think I'll be all set. 399 00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:48,378 Are you out of your fucking mind? 400 00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:50,422 Come on. Give me a little help here. 401 00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:52,924 Absolutely not! Dude, no fucking way. 402 00:18:52,924 --> 00:18:55,343 Peter, come here. Let me talk to you a sec. 403 00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:56,511 - Where you going? - You're leaving? 404 00:18:56,511 --> 00:18:57,595 - Wait. - Just a second, lovebirds. 405 00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:59,389 No. No. come back. 406 00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:00,932 There's no way. 407 00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:02,017 This is your chance 408 00:19:02,017 --> 00:19:03,685 to really do something for somebody. 409 00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:05,145 What do you want me to do? 410 00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:06,771 Provide the thrust. 411 00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:08,732 Pro--provide the thrust? 412 00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:11,359 Yeah, give him a little help. That's all he needs. 413 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:12,986 Once he gets going, he'll be all right. 414 00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,821 It'd be easy for you. Push him, you know? 415 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,490 - A little boom. - I don't want to do this. 416 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,742 I know you don't want to do it. 417 00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:20,160 Who the fuck would want to do it? 418 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,661 But just do it. We're here. 419 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,121 You want to ruin boys' night now? 420 00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:25,498 - No, boys' night is over. - No, it's not over. 421 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:26,791 I took you guys out to dinner. 422 00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,752 We had a nice time. Roy got half laid. 423 00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:30,295 It's over. It's time to go home. 424 00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:31,546 This is your chance 425 00:19:31,546 --> 00:19:33,298 to really do something for somebody. 426 00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:34,799 Make somebody else fucking happy 427 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,509 instead of yourself all the time. 428 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:37,677 Yeah, I meant, like, I don't know, 429 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,095 watching the game together, 430 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:41,348 not helping your friend fuck a prostitute. 431 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:44,684 You could do it, Peter. Do it. 432 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,145 Roy, you sure this is what you want? 433 00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:50,273 - You'd be doing me a mitzvah. - There's your answer. 434 00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:54,152 I know you don't want to do it, but just fucking do it. 435 00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,570 All right, come on. Let's go. 436 00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:56,905 Well, I'm not gonna do it. You do it. 437 00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:58,865 - You're not gonna help? - He's my fucking friend. 438 00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,367 - So what? - It's disgusting. 439 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:01,576 You could do this shit. 440 00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:02,911 You've done worse things than this. 441 00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:03,870 Don't bullshit me. 442 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,705 - Go fucking do it. 443 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,874 - Be a man. - I am. Fuck you. 444 00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:14,297 Donna, are you cool with this? 445 00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:16,299 100%. Hoist him up. 446 00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:18,093 Fantastic. 447 00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,473 Let's get it. 448 00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:24,849 - All right, you ready? - Okay. 449 00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:26,226 - Yeah. - Gently. Gently. 450 00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,560 Okay, okay. 451 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,812 - Okay, good. - There you go. 452 00:20:28,812 --> 00:20:30,438 - Good. Get a groove going. - There you go. 453 00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:31,606 All right, all right, all right. 454 00:20:31,606 --> 00:20:33,400 Maybe don't talk. 455 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,402 Oh, I feel like a Make-A-Wish kid. 456 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,112 Oh, Marla would've loved this. 457 00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:39,364 Oh, she's right here with us, baby. 458 00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:42,492 - She's right here. - God, I hope not. 459 00:20:42,492 --> 00:20:44,077 Okay, okay. Come on. 460 00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:45,704 - Give me some juice, Petey. - You feel so good. 461 00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:47,914 I am, dude. You're fucking huge. 462 00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,749 - Yeah, he is. - Well, that's my knee. 463 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,209 I'll tell you, will you excuse me a second? 464 00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:52,502 I'll be right back. 465 00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,462 - Oh, wait. Ooh, gentle. 466 00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:56,881 - What's up? - Is this how you fuck? 467 00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,133 What? 468 00:20:58,133 --> 00:20:59,884 Why don't you put your back into it? 469 00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:02,762 We're all adults here. Now put me back in. 470 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,472 - Oh, oh. Okay, right there. - Okay. 471 00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,891 - Wait, no, that's--okay. - Gentle. Oh. 472 00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:08,101 - Okay. Okay. - You in? 473 00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,185 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 474 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:10,812 - Let's do this, baby. - Go! 475 00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:12,355 - Here we go. - All right. 476 00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:13,732 - And we're rocking. - Okay. 477 00:21:13,732 --> 00:21:15,400 - Yeah. - Cooking with gas. 478 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,444 You know, you're a very sweet kid. 479 00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:18,987 You're very misunderstood. 480 00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:20,864 Right to heaven. I'm going right to heaven. 481 00:21:20,864 --> 00:21:22,323 Oh, God. 482 00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:24,784 There's a lot of love in this room right now. 483 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,579 I can't believe I'm having sex with Pete Davidson. 484 00:21:27,579 --> 00:21:29,456 - Shut the fuck up. - All right. 485 00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:53,813 - Hey, you want some lasagna? - Yeah. 486 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:56,858 Just hurry up. I'm starving. 487 00:21:56,858 --> 00:21:58,818 - How long I put it in? - I don't know. 488 00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,653 I have no idea how to work that thing. 489 00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:02,655 - We could eat it cold. - Cold it is. 490 00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,574 We eat it cold every other day. 491 00:22:08,286 --> 00:22:10,914 My goodness, you guys were out late. 492 00:22:10,914 --> 00:22:12,999 - Hey. - How was the evening? 493 00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:14,834 - Fun. - Did you heat this up? 494 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:16,252 - No. - Oh. 495 00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:17,754 Let me heat this thing up. 496 00:22:17,754 --> 00:22:20,548 It's gonna taste even better than it did before. 497 00:22:24,552 --> 00:22:27,138 What'd you guys do? 498 00:22:27,138 --> 00:22:29,516 Nothing. We just--we had a boys' night. 499 00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:30,975 A boys' night out. You know? 500 00:22:30,975 --> 00:22:32,686 - Boys' night out. - What guys do. 501 00:22:32,686 --> 00:22:35,313 Yeah, yeah. It was just guy stuff. 502 00:22:35,313 --> 00:22:37,232 Yeah. 503 00:22:37,232 --> 00:22:38,274 Yeah, guy stuff. 504 00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:41,152 I don't know anything about that. 505 00:22:41,152 --> 00:22:42,237 Don't do that. 506 00:22:45,115 --> 00:22:47,826 - What was that? - What was what? 507 00:22:47,826 --> 00:22:50,495 - That. - Nothing. 508 00:22:50,495 --> 00:22:52,038 What the fuck is going on here? 509 00:22:52,038 --> 00:22:53,581 - Nothing! - She did something. 510 00:22:53,581 --> 00:22:54,874 Well, no, wait. What did you guys do? 511 00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:57,293 Nothing. When I said nothing... 512 00:22:57,293 --> 00:22:59,546 I mean, it's guy stuff. We had a good time. 513 00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:01,589 We danced, laughed, Roy had fun. 514 00:23:01,589 --> 00:23:04,300 - Roy had a fucking ball. - Yeah. 515 00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:06,094 Wow, something--all right, something's up. 516 00:23:06,094 --> 00:23:08,221 Listen, guys, why can't we just keep secrets? 517 00:23:08,221 --> 00:23:10,223 Why can't we be a normal family that's healthy? 518 00:23:10,223 --> 00:23:12,308 - I want to know what happened. - Nothing happened. 519 00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:13,893 - What did you guys do tonight? - We didn't do anything. 520 00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:15,020 What's the big secret? 521 00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:16,062 You want to know what happened? 522 00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:17,731 I came on her the other morning 523 00:23:17,731 --> 00:23:20,400 and I helped Roy fuck a prostitute, okay? 37834

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