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I want to thank everyone for giving upyour lunch hours.
2
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It's so exciting for all of us.
3
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Happy to be here.
4
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- Who wants to start us off?- I'll be happy to.
5
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Gwen, why don't you start us off?
6
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- Do you need the pointer?- No.
7
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- I'll hold onto it then.- She's fine. Gwen?
8
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There is a concern that I have thatI think needs addressing is that...
9
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we can't the Port-o-Pottiestoo far off the route.
10
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Because we have a lot of seniors.
11
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That's solved.
12
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We'll put the Port-o-Potties right here,
they won't be in the way.
13
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We'll put a receptacle...
14
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here near Arts and Crafts.
- You mean the big bins?
15
00:01:02,208 --> 00:01:05,405
And we've got barrels, too.
We'll put barrels on every corner.
16
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- That's the crate?
- No, that's the big barrel.
17
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- You got the pie-eating going on here.
- It's a dumpster.
18
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If anything happens like last year
with that pie-eating...
19
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Which brings me to a point.
20
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Security.
21
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Security. I say we put...
22
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a rifle on here...
23
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a man with a rifle here and a rifle here.
24
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- Protect the whole square...
- Is that really necessary?
25
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- Every year he brings this up.
- Remember we got egged last year?
26
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We're pleased as punch.
27
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We're so proud. Whatever we do here
is a first for Blaine and for Missouri.
28
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Whatever we do will be
the standard against which...
29
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all other sesquicentennials,
that's the 150...
30
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will be judged.
31
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The people of Blaine are "can do" people.
There's a saying in Missouri:
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"If you don't like the weather
wait five minutes."
33
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In Blaine, I honestly believe...
34
00:01:58,765 --> 00:02:01,791
with hard work, we can get that down
to three or four minutes.
35
00:02:02,669 --> 00:02:04,899
In our sesquicentennial year, we've a lot...
36
00:02:04,971 --> 00:02:07,337
to talk about, to be proud of.
37
00:02:07,574 --> 00:02:10,202
The world should know more about Blaine.
38
00:02:11,778 --> 00:02:14,508
We're chomping at the bit certainly
from this end.
39
00:02:14,581 --> 00:02:18,039
It all started with Blaine Fabin.
40
00:02:18,117 --> 00:02:19,880
He was hired by 30 settlers...
41
00:02:20,019 --> 00:02:23,250
to lead a wagon train expedition
from Philadelphia to California.
42
00:02:23,590 --> 00:02:27,321
On the 14th night,
they were sitting around the campfire...
43
00:02:27,393 --> 00:02:29,691
and Blaine said, "Do you smell it?
44
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"Do you smell the salt in the air?
We are here.
45
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"I've brought you to California."
46
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There was a big party.
Next morning they got up...
47
00:02:38,471 --> 00:02:42,237
they didn't see the ocean,
because they were in Missouri.
48
00:02:43,476 --> 00:02:47,105
Blaine convinced them
for a while that it was low tide.
49
00:02:47,180 --> 00:02:50,081
But what happened was
he'd made mistakes: Bad weather...
50
00:02:50,149 --> 00:02:52,481
he wasn't familiar
with the proper route...
51
00:02:53,019 --> 00:02:55,852
but it turns out everyone was happy
to be where they were.
52
00:02:55,922 --> 00:02:59,050
They said, "It's okay we didn't get
to California. We'll stay."
53
00:02:59,292 --> 00:03:01,089
That's why I'm at this desk.
54
00:03:01,728 --> 00:03:05,494
I'm proud to say I'm a direct descendent
of Blaine Fabin.
55
00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:08,829
I've lived here all my life...
56
00:03:08,902 --> 00:03:12,963
as did my parents and their parents
and their parents and their parents...
57
00:03:13,039 --> 00:03:14,734
and so on and so forth.
58
00:03:14,841 --> 00:03:18,504
I'm very excited
about the show coming up because...
59
00:03:18,811 --> 00:03:20,745
it'll the first time I'll have...
60
00:03:20,813 --> 00:03:25,750
the experience of sitting in the audience
and seeing actors portray...
61
00:03:25,985 --> 00:03:28,385
my ancestor...
62
00:03:28,521 --> 00:03:30,045
the actual Blaine Fabin.
63
00:03:30,823 --> 00:03:34,452
Being a Fabin is not always easy.
64
00:03:35,194 --> 00:03:37,719
I can certainly understand
how the Kennedy's feel.
65
00:03:39,032 --> 00:03:40,863
I had been living in New York...
66
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,900
and working there as an actor...
67
00:03:42,969 --> 00:03:46,200
and director and choreographerfor 25 years or so.
68
00:03:46,406 --> 00:03:48,738
And I really felt I needed a change.
69
00:03:48,875 --> 00:03:51,901
I imagined in my fantasy, I suppose...
70
00:03:52,145 --> 00:03:56,206
that when I came here,
I would have a completely different life.
71
00:03:59,319 --> 00:04:01,219
A construction worker...
72
00:04:01,287 --> 00:04:05,951
or one of those guys that works
on those high-wire things that...
73
00:04:06,192 --> 00:04:10,458
with the hard hat,
that sweeping sort of hat and...
74
00:04:10,797 --> 00:04:12,094
with the chaps.
75
00:04:13,299 --> 00:04:15,130
But that didn't really work out.
76
00:04:15,201 --> 00:04:19,433
I began to realize, I guess,
that the theater was still in my blood...
77
00:04:19,505 --> 00:04:22,668
and what I had to do was
make use of that. So...
78
00:04:23,242 --> 00:04:26,143
I offered my services
to the high school here...
79
00:04:26,245 --> 00:04:29,942
and they accepted,
and I began to teach drama.
80
00:04:30,316 --> 00:04:34,082
Within about six months I had formed
the Blaine Community Players.
81
00:04:34,354 --> 00:04:38,620
We're excited about the show that's
happening at the end of the festival.
82
00:04:40,293 --> 00:04:44,627
Everyone right now is just going crazy
getting ready to audition.
83
00:04:44,697 --> 00:04:47,723
Unfortunately I won't be able to audition.
We have to stock...
84
00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:50,869
that day and can't get out of it.
And Corky will not...
85
00:04:50,937 --> 00:04:55,874
let me audition any other time.
He said, "That's show business," and...
86
00:04:56,075 --> 00:04:58,737
he's the master,
you must give him credit for that.
87
00:04:59,212 --> 00:05:02,670
President McKinley did
a whistle stop tour back in 1898.
88
00:05:03,116 --> 00:05:06,415
And, a little boy, Jimmy McBean,
made a stool for him.
89
00:05:06,486 --> 00:05:09,250
He loved it so much
that he called back and said:
90
00:05:09,322 --> 00:05:13,190
"I'd like to give more of these
to dignitaries who are visiting."
91
00:05:14,093 --> 00:05:18,621
Before you knew it,
Blaine is manufacturing footstools.
92
00:05:18,698 --> 00:05:22,759
And that's how the big...
that's how we got the stool boom.
93
00:05:23,169 --> 00:05:26,002
Blaine became
the Stool Capital of the World.
94
00:05:27,073 --> 00:05:31,032
My first show was Barefoot in the Park,
which was an absolute smash.
95
00:05:31,110 --> 00:05:36,241
But my stage production of Backdraft
was what really got them excited.
96
00:05:36,549 --> 00:05:38,483
This whole idea of...
97
00:05:38,551 --> 00:05:41,987
in-your-face theater really affected them.
98
00:05:42,121 --> 00:05:45,921
The conceptualization,
the abstraction, the obtuseness...
99
00:05:45,992 --> 00:05:48,688
of this production
was what was interesting.
100
00:05:48,795 --> 00:05:51,787
I wanted the audience to feel the heat...
101
00:05:52,198 --> 00:05:56,931
from the fire. The fear,
because people don't like fire poked...
102
00:05:57,070 --> 00:05:58,560
poked in their noses.
103
00:05:58,638 --> 00:06:01,630
When you get a barbecue cinder
on your nose...
104
00:06:01,908 --> 00:06:04,900
and you make that face?
That's not a good thing.
105
00:06:04,977 --> 00:06:07,844
I wanted them to have
the sense-memory of that.
106
00:06:07,914 --> 00:06:09,711
So, during the show...
107
00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:14,417
we burned newspapers and sent it
through the vents in the theater.
108
00:06:16,089 --> 00:06:17,181
They freaked out.
109
00:06:17,256 --> 00:06:21,750
Of course the Fire Marshall came over
and shut us down for two days.
110
00:06:22,195 --> 00:06:25,289
Mr. Bluestein, Montezuma's Revengeis no more than...
111
00:06:25,364 --> 00:06:27,889
good old-fashioned American diarrhea.
112
00:06:28,267 --> 00:06:31,498
Adult diapers should never
even enter the picture.
113
00:06:32,271 --> 00:06:34,501
So you lose a few pounds.
114
00:06:35,441 --> 00:06:38,274
My mom said that "Blaine's a little town...
115
00:06:38,344 --> 00:06:41,677
"...with a big heart
in the heart of a big country."
116
00:06:41,881 --> 00:06:45,009
To me, Blaine is a kind of town where...
117
00:06:45,118 --> 00:06:47,177
I can have my own business...
118
00:06:47,687 --> 00:06:50,520
meet and marry
a wonderful woman like Sheila...
119
00:06:50,656 --> 00:06:52,624
and be something.
120
00:06:52,759 --> 00:06:54,158
Be somebody.
121
00:06:54,460 --> 00:06:57,657
Some people find it ironical
that we run a travel agency...
122
00:06:57,730 --> 00:06:59,994
and we've never left Blaine.
123
00:07:00,066 --> 00:07:01,590
With one exception.
124
00:07:03,069 --> 00:07:04,627
You left Blaine.
125
00:07:05,037 --> 00:07:08,029
I went to Jefferson City once, it was a...
126
00:07:08,207 --> 00:07:09,435
Tell them why.
127
00:07:09,642 --> 00:07:11,337
It was a medical reason.
128
00:07:13,513 --> 00:07:14,912
You can tell them.
129
00:07:14,981 --> 00:07:16,915
Just minor surgery.
130
00:07:21,754 --> 00:07:23,813
I've worked here at the DQ for about...
131
00:07:28,161 --> 00:07:29,651
eight months?
132
00:07:29,829 --> 00:07:30,989
Seven?
133
00:07:31,664 --> 00:07:34,326
I don't know, something like that. It's fine.
134
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:35,797
You just do the cones.
135
00:07:36,569 --> 00:07:39,060
Make sundaes. Make Blizzards...
136
00:07:39,572 --> 00:07:41,597
and put stuff on them and...
137
00:07:42,675 --> 00:07:45,735
See a lot of people come into the DQ.
138
00:07:45,945 --> 00:07:47,003
Burgers.
139
00:07:47,079 --> 00:07:48,376
Ice cream.
140
00:07:49,015 --> 00:07:50,676
Anything, you know?
141
00:07:51,851 --> 00:07:55,753
Cokes. Just drive in
and get a Coke if you're thirsty.
142
00:07:56,823 --> 00:08:00,884
Everybody thinks Roswell
was the first UFO sighting...
143
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,428
in the United States and that's bullroar.
144
00:08:03,496 --> 00:08:05,691
We had the first sighting here 1946.
145
00:08:05,798 --> 00:08:08,426
It wasn't just a sighting.
It didn't just fly by.
146
00:08:08,501 --> 00:08:09,991
They stopped, they landed.
147
00:08:10,069 --> 00:08:13,766
The people went on board the ship
for a potluck dinner.
148
00:08:14,340 --> 00:08:18,777
I've been coming out to this landing siteevery day for two years.
149
00:08:19,278 --> 00:08:20,768
To measure it.
150
00:08:21,214 --> 00:08:22,875
And here's the thing.
151
00:08:23,216 --> 00:08:27,949
The circumference and the diameterchange by a few inches.
152
00:08:28,087 --> 00:08:30,385
Yet the radius remains the same...
153
00:08:30,823 --> 00:08:33,053
which brings me back to the number five.
154
00:08:33,125 --> 00:08:36,322
There are five letters in the name Blaine.
155
00:08:36,429 --> 00:08:40,991
Mix the word Blaine up, mix it around,
eventually you'll get Nebali.
156
00:08:41,133 --> 00:08:45,399
Nebali. The name of the planet
in a galaxy...
157
00:08:45,638 --> 00:08:47,230
way, way...
158
00:08:47,340 --> 00:08:49,501
way far away.
159
00:08:49,575 --> 00:08:52,373
I'll tell you,
once you step inside this circle...
160
00:08:53,913 --> 00:08:57,076
the weather never changes.
It is always...
161
00:08:57,350 --> 00:08:58,942
67 degrees...
162
00:08:59,018 --> 00:09:01,350
with a 40 percent chance of rain.
163
00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:02,318
Always.
164
00:09:03,356 --> 00:09:05,688
I love to make people laugh...
165
00:09:05,825 --> 00:09:09,226
and I've been doing it since,
you know, school.
166
00:09:09,295 --> 00:09:11,195
People ask me, "Were you..."
167
00:09:11,264 --> 00:09:14,756
You know,
"You must've been the class clown."
168
00:09:15,167 --> 00:09:18,136
And I say: "No, I wasn't."
169
00:09:19,438 --> 00:09:21,633
But I sat beside the class clown...
170
00:09:21,707 --> 00:09:23,504
and I studied him...
171
00:09:25,311 --> 00:09:27,779
and saw how he made people laugh...
172
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:32,340
and so I picked some things up
and at parties and family functions...
173
00:09:32,418 --> 00:09:37,048
I have to say, I love, you know,
breaking people up, so...
174
00:09:37,123 --> 00:09:41,856
There's a thing that I think I got,
an entertaining bug...
175
00:09:42,461 --> 00:09:45,555
from my grandfather, Chaim Pearlgut...
176
00:09:45,765 --> 00:09:50,759
who was very big in the Yiddish theater
back in New York.
177
00:09:51,003 --> 00:09:52,470
He was in the...
178
00:09:52,538 --> 00:09:56,804
very, the sardonically irreverent
Dybbyck Schmybyck...
179
00:09:57,243 --> 00:09:59,473
"I Said, 'More Ham."'
180
00:09:59,812 --> 00:10:03,043
And that review, I believe was 1914...
181
00:10:03,115 --> 00:10:06,278
and that review
is what made him famous.
182
00:10:06,419 --> 00:10:11,823
Incidentally, the song Bubi Made a Kishka
came from that review.
183
00:10:12,258 --> 00:10:13,919
My father...
184
00:10:14,193 --> 00:10:16,525
bless him, brought me into the business.
185
00:10:16,629 --> 00:10:19,462
This was his dental practice before.
186
00:10:19,732 --> 00:10:23,259
And I joke with my wife that,
you know, at that point...
187
00:10:23,336 --> 00:10:26,567
that's when the money started...
188
00:10:26,939 --> 00:10:29,100
rolling in, you know.
189
00:10:30,276 --> 00:10:32,039
"Brave making...
190
00:10:32,345 --> 00:10:35,610
"...more wampum to buy pelts.
191
00:10:38,751 --> 00:10:41,652
"One happy squaw in wigwam...
192
00:10:41,921 --> 00:10:43,980
"...happy as mongoose."
193
00:10:45,257 --> 00:10:46,747
That...
194
00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:50,020
is, of course, from Johnny Carson, who...
195
00:10:50,196 --> 00:10:52,596
one of my heroes, in a very funny bit.
196
00:10:53,599 --> 00:10:57,296
"When I see lipswaiting to be kissed
197
00:10:57,503 --> 00:11:00,495
"I can't stop I can't stop
198
00:11:00,673 --> 00:11:04,404
"For that lightningOh, it's striking
199
00:11:04,643 --> 00:11:05,803
"Again
200
00:11:08,381 --> 00:11:11,441
"Lightning's striking
201
00:11:11,517 --> 00:11:14,509
"Again and again and again and..."
202
00:11:19,058 --> 00:11:22,425
I'm going to do a scene
from the movie Raging Bull.
203
00:11:25,064 --> 00:11:26,725
You fuck my wife?
204
00:11:27,233 --> 00:11:28,291
What?
205
00:11:28,934 --> 00:11:30,424
You fuck my wife?
206
00:11:30,803 --> 00:11:35,137
How can you ask me,
I'm your brother and you ask me that?
207
00:11:35,341 --> 00:11:37,832
Where'd you get the balls
big enough to ask me that?
208
00:11:37,910 --> 00:11:41,744
Basically,
for the last 15 years I have been...
209
00:11:42,081 --> 00:11:43,571
the music teacher...
210
00:11:43,649 --> 00:11:45,344
at Blaine High.
211
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:51,822
A very important part of my job
is to put on a show...
212
00:11:51,924 --> 00:11:54,620
every year, which I've done,
completely by myself.
213
00:11:55,161 --> 00:11:58,927
This year it's going to be different,
because Corky...
214
00:11:59,532 --> 00:12:02,695
being from New York,
being a professional...
215
00:12:03,169 --> 00:12:05,160
and having put on some...
216
00:12:05,304 --> 00:12:08,535
very theatrical productions here...
217
00:12:10,776 --> 00:12:15,338
is going to be directing the show
this year. And I'll be...
218
00:12:15,481 --> 00:12:18,075
the musical director,
which is different for me.
219
00:12:22,121 --> 00:12:24,112
"Teacher's pet
220
00:12:24,390 --> 00:12:27,791
"I want to be teacher's pet
221
00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:29,557
"I want to be
222
00:12:29,929 --> 00:12:31,624
"Huddled and cuddled
223
00:12:31,697 --> 00:12:34,359
"As close to you as I can get
224
00:12:37,703 --> 00:12:39,330
"Teacher's pride
225
00:12:40,005 --> 00:12:43,441
"I want to be teacher's pride"
226
00:12:50,649 --> 00:12:51,843
Doctor Pearl!
227
00:12:51,917 --> 00:12:53,908
How are you? Ron Albertson.
228
00:12:54,019 --> 00:12:57,352
My wife, Sheila,
you remember her from previous bills.
229
00:12:59,525 --> 00:13:01,755
- What are you doing here?
- I'm here...
230
00:13:01,994 --> 00:13:04,019
trying out for the big show.
231
00:13:04,096 --> 00:13:06,496
- Congratulations.
- No, why are you here, really?
232
00:13:06,665 --> 00:13:10,499
I told my wife I'd come out
for this show and give it...
233
00:13:10,569 --> 00:13:12,264
I thought I'd give it a shot.
234
00:13:12,338 --> 00:13:15,398
Give it your best shot.
It won't be the first shot you ever gave.
235
00:13:15,474 --> 00:13:17,465
Hope it doesn't leave Corky numb.
236
00:13:17,543 --> 00:13:20,011
It's like pulling teeth
to get a discount from him.
237
00:13:20,079 --> 00:13:23,913
Give some caramels to the little girl.
Future customers, Doc.
238
00:13:24,283 --> 00:13:28,049
"So I can be teacher's pet
239
00:13:28,187 --> 00:13:31,247
"Long after school is through
240
00:13:31,557 --> 00:13:35,186
"Teacher, teacher, I love you"
241
00:13:42,468 --> 00:13:43,492
Maybe just...
242
00:13:46,639 --> 00:13:50,302
"I dream of Jeannie
243
00:13:50,409 --> 00:13:54,470
"With the light brown hair
244
00:13:55,548 --> 00:13:58,642
"Floating like a vapor
245
00:13:59,084 --> 00:14:03,282
"On the soft summer air"
246
00:14:03,989 --> 00:14:04,887
Look out.
247
00:14:04,957 --> 00:14:08,791
"Camptown races sing this song
Doo dah doo dah
248
00:14:08,861 --> 00:14:10,761
"Camptown racetrack five miles long
249
00:14:10,963 --> 00:14:14,126
"Doo dah day
Going to run all night
250
00:14:14,567 --> 00:14:18,503
"Going to run all day
Bet my money on the bobtailed nag
251
00:14:18,637 --> 00:14:20,298
"Somebody bet on the bay
252
00:14:20,406 --> 00:14:23,534
"Bay bay bay
253
00:14:23,976 --> 00:14:26,035
"Way down
254
00:14:26,145 --> 00:14:28,978
"Upon the Swanee River
255
00:14:36,455 --> 00:14:41,358
"Floating like a vapor
256
00:14:41,961 --> 00:14:46,261
"On the soft summer
257
00:14:46,966 --> 00:14:48,957
"Air"
258
00:14:59,478 --> 00:15:02,072
- Very nice.
- Very, very, that was very good.
259
00:15:02,548 --> 00:15:05,608
- Well, thank you, Dr. Pearl.
- Thank you very much.
260
00:15:06,852 --> 00:15:08,149
We'll let you know.
261
00:15:08,220 --> 00:15:10,051
- Very good.
- Thank you.
262
00:15:14,260 --> 00:15:16,888
- He's good.
- He can actually sing, you know.
263
00:15:30,643 --> 00:15:31,871
Ding dong.
264
00:15:32,811 --> 00:15:36,406
I wonder who knows
I'm vacationing here at The Oasis?
265
00:15:38,183 --> 00:15:39,207
Am I late?
266
00:15:39,285 --> 00:15:41,480
- You!
- Surprised?
267
00:15:41,754 --> 00:15:44,655
- How did you find me?
- I have my ways.
268
00:15:44,857 --> 00:15:47,121
Would you like to come in for coffee?
269
00:15:47,693 --> 00:15:50,821
"You don't need to answer
270
00:15:51,730 --> 00:15:54,062
"There's no need to speak
271
00:15:55,934 --> 00:15:58,903
"I'll be your belly dancer
272
00:15:59,438 --> 00:16:01,167
"Prancer
273
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,034
"And I will be your sheik
274
00:16:04,910 --> 00:16:07,606
"I don't need a harem honey
275
00:16:09,281 --> 00:16:11,476
"When you're by my side
276
00:16:12,318 --> 00:16:15,378
"And you won't need a camel
277
00:16:15,788 --> 00:16:20,350
"No, no, when I take you for a ride"
278
00:16:20,993 --> 00:16:23,188
We'll need coffee to go with that ride.
279
00:16:23,262 --> 00:16:26,026
You're always full of surprises.
280
00:16:26,632 --> 00:16:29,066
I wonder, do we have time for that coffee?
281
00:16:29,134 --> 00:16:30,499
What time is it?
282
00:16:30,703 --> 00:16:32,500
Haven't you been paying attention?
283
00:16:32,571 --> 00:16:36,803
- "It's Midnight at The Oasis"
- "It's Midnight at The Oasis"
284
00:16:39,511 --> 00:16:40,705
- Thank you.
- Good.
285
00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:42,670
That was great.
286
00:16:43,248 --> 00:16:45,716
- Really good.
- Well, thanks a lot.
287
00:16:46,018 --> 00:16:47,417
And thanks for coming.
288
00:16:47,686 --> 00:16:50,655
- Should we leave the...
- Why don't you put that back there.
289
00:16:50,723 --> 00:16:51,849
Strike it?
290
00:16:52,825 --> 00:16:56,261
We've done a few shows for Corky,
and we know the terms.
291
00:16:56,395 --> 00:16:59,489
Thanks so much. It was really fun.
Thank you.
292
00:17:03,635 --> 00:17:05,466
I'm feeling good...
293
00:17:05,904 --> 00:17:09,203
about where we stand now with our cast.
I think that...
294
00:17:09,475 --> 00:17:10,965
the elements...
295
00:17:11,143 --> 00:17:15,807
as Dr. Watson said to Sherlock,
"are coming together, sir."
296
00:17:16,115 --> 00:17:17,844
I'm very excited about...
297
00:17:17,950 --> 00:17:21,215
Ron and Sheila, the old standbys,
the work horses.
298
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,254
I call them the Lunts of Blaine.
299
00:17:23,856 --> 00:17:27,792
Allan Pearl. Interesting.
Where do they come from?
300
00:17:28,060 --> 00:17:32,292
Sure, I'd seen him around,
but I'd never walk up to the...
301
00:17:32,664 --> 00:17:36,100
dentist and say,
"Are you interested in this?"
302
00:17:36,935 --> 00:17:39,733
I was shopping for my wife Bonnie.
303
00:17:39,872 --> 00:17:42,363
I buy most of her clothes.
304
00:17:42,841 --> 00:17:44,172
And...
305
00:17:44,543 --> 00:17:47,341
Mrs. Pearl was in the same shop.
306
00:17:47,579 --> 00:17:51,310
And it just was an accident.
We started talking...
307
00:17:51,817 --> 00:17:54,479
about panty hose and she was saying...
308
00:17:54,553 --> 00:17:57,852
Whatever, that's not the point of the story.
The point...
309
00:17:57,923 --> 00:18:02,257
was that through this
accidental meeting, it's like, you know...
310
00:18:02,461 --> 00:18:04,793
like a Hitchcock movie where you're...
311
00:18:04,863 --> 00:18:09,061
thrown into a rubber bag
and put in the trunk of a car.
312
00:18:10,102 --> 00:18:11,865
You find people.
313
00:18:12,104 --> 00:18:13,401
You find them.
314
00:18:13,505 --> 00:18:15,939
Something. Is it karma?
315
00:18:16,809 --> 00:18:18,037
Maybe.
316
00:18:19,912 --> 00:18:22,540
But we found him.
That's the important thing.
317
00:18:22,681 --> 00:18:25,047
And I got Bonnie a wonderful pantsuit.
318
00:18:25,517 --> 00:18:29,146
They took me into a separate room.
They took different people...
319
00:18:29,221 --> 00:18:31,951
different ones of us
off in separate rooms...
320
00:18:32,224 --> 00:18:34,624
and they put me on a big white table.
321
00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:36,020
And...
322
00:18:36,128 --> 00:18:39,859
the guy that took me there,
that took me in there...
323
00:18:39,965 --> 00:18:42,832
to examine me, I guess,
he probed me and then...
324
00:18:42,901 --> 00:18:46,837
I was there, I bet, more than
three or four hours in that room...
325
00:18:46,905 --> 00:18:49,806
being probed
and at one time or another...
326
00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:53,538
different ones of them come in
four, five, six at different times...
327
00:18:53,645 --> 00:18:55,545
and all of them probed me.
328
00:18:56,448 --> 00:18:58,939
Not all at once. Individually.
329
00:18:59,184 --> 00:19:02,585
Later on, years later, now even still...
330
00:19:03,121 --> 00:19:07,057
It's a funny thing. It happened
on a Sunday and every Sunday...
331
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:11,318
about the time that I was taken
on board that ship...
332
00:19:13,131 --> 00:19:15,429
I find I have no feelings in my buttocks.
333
00:19:16,268 --> 00:19:20,728
Casting a show is really only the beginningof the process.
334
00:19:20,906 --> 00:19:23,898
There's also the whole design concept.
335
00:19:24,076 --> 00:19:26,840
What fabrics will work for the costumes.
336
00:19:27,012 --> 00:19:29,537
The lighting. And it really becomes...
337
00:19:29,648 --> 00:19:31,377
a wrassling match, I guess...
338
00:19:31,483 --> 00:19:34,281
between me and the muse of theater...
339
00:19:34,620 --> 00:19:36,884
and most of all, dance.
340
00:19:56,008 --> 00:19:58,772
Close your eyes.I want you to try something.
341
00:19:58,911 --> 00:20:03,075
What are you thinking? What are you
feeling right now with your eyes closed?
342
00:20:04,950 --> 00:20:08,147
I feel a bree... You're blowing in my ear.
343
00:20:08,287 --> 00:20:12,189
You jumped to a conclusion.
See, what I'm asking for is...
344
00:20:12,291 --> 00:20:15,818
your first feeling was not that
I was blowing on you.
345
00:20:15,894 --> 00:20:17,555
It was more like...
346
00:20:18,363 --> 00:20:20,126
Virgin Isles or...
347
00:20:20,465 --> 00:20:22,558
Bahamanian...
348
00:20:22,668 --> 00:20:24,260
or Arubian...
349
00:20:24,536 --> 00:20:27,767
He's at his rehearsal.He's at his first rehearsal.
350
00:20:28,006 --> 00:20:30,907
I don't know what they're doing,
I've never been to one.
351
00:20:31,143 --> 00:20:34,408
I bet they're introducing themselves
to each other.
352
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:38,741
It's going to be nice
to meet some of these new folks...
353
00:20:38,817 --> 00:20:42,719
'cause we don't socialize
with the creative types.
354
00:20:42,821 --> 00:20:46,814
We got our Scrabble club and stuff and...
355
00:20:47,693 --> 00:20:50,560
and other people with babies.
356
00:20:57,703 --> 00:21:00,035
The exercises all mean something.
357
00:21:00,305 --> 00:21:02,671
Even if you don't know what.
358
00:21:03,408 --> 00:21:06,866
Dr. Pearl, he'll come around and...
359
00:21:07,779 --> 00:21:09,906
he'll learn like...
360
00:21:10,182 --> 00:21:12,548
Ron and Sheila and I have learned...
361
00:21:12,718 --> 00:21:14,481
that Corky has a vision.
362
00:21:27,032 --> 00:21:28,624
Forget about it!
363
00:21:34,940 --> 00:21:37,932
Here it's okay,
but he thought I was going to...
364
00:21:40,545 --> 00:21:41,876
I...
365
00:21:42,147 --> 00:21:43,512
I’m walking...
366
00:21:43,715 --> 00:21:44,807
on air.
367
00:21:44,950 --> 00:21:48,545
You know, this is a sensation which is...
Forget it.
368
00:21:48,820 --> 00:21:52,017
When I became a dentist
I thought I was happy, but this...
369
00:21:52,090 --> 00:21:54,888
is making me nervous now because...
370
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,458
I could've wasted a lot of years.
371
00:21:57,796 --> 00:22:01,823
I was very shocked to see that Dr. Pearl
had actually been cast.
372
00:22:02,034 --> 00:22:03,228
Then I thought...
373
00:22:03,468 --> 00:22:07,564
We're in a glamour profession
as travel agents and he isn't.
374
00:22:07,973 --> 00:22:11,807
One project: we must loosen him up.
I feel he's a little tight...
375
00:22:12,010 --> 00:22:14,001
especially when he's with us.
376
00:22:14,079 --> 00:22:15,444
He won't mind jokes.
377
00:22:15,514 --> 00:22:19,348
- Your experience is intimidating!
- I can't help it. I know.
378
00:22:19,518 --> 00:22:22,078
Ron'll help everyone...
379
00:22:22,254 --> 00:22:25,018
he gives me,
in all the productions we've been in...
380
00:22:25,090 --> 00:22:27,957
and when we do scene studies
at home together...
381
00:22:28,093 --> 00:22:32,996
Ron will have extensive, you know,
hour, two-hour sessions of notes for me.
382
00:22:33,198 --> 00:22:37,794
- It's so helpful. Lately we've been...
- For us both. You just get most of them.
383
00:22:38,070 --> 00:22:41,403
He's trying to help me change
my instincts or at least ignore them.
384
00:22:43,542 --> 00:22:46,477
Listen, let me tell you why I'm here.
385
00:22:46,545 --> 00:22:50,311
We're doing a show. I won't beataround the bush. I wrote a show...
386
00:22:50,682 --> 00:22:54,880
about the 150th anniversary of Blaine.
I know you're an old Blainian.
387
00:22:57,255 --> 00:23:00,952
And you're right for one of the parts.
It's the Narrator...
388
00:23:01,126 --> 00:23:02,457
in the show.
389
00:23:02,694 --> 00:23:04,559
One of the actor parts?
390
00:23:04,796 --> 00:23:06,024
I don't know.
391
00:23:06,998 --> 00:23:09,796
You're being modest,
'cause I heard you've had some...
392
00:23:09,868 --> 00:23:11,426
history in show business.
393
00:23:11,903 --> 00:23:14,997
Well, you know, I did have a, I had a...
394
00:23:15,307 --> 00:23:19,539
hankering to be an actor when
I was young, when I left the Coast Guard.
395
00:23:19,811 --> 00:23:24,646
I went to taxidermy school instead.
I took a correspondence course.
396
00:23:25,250 --> 00:23:26,774
I'll tell you, Mr. Wooley...
397
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:30,714
what I'm looking for in my shows
are actors...
398
00:23:31,022 --> 00:23:33,490
and people that are willing to work hard.
399
00:23:34,426 --> 00:23:36,553
Yeah, I'm a hard worker as you can see.
400
00:23:36,628 --> 00:23:39,893
- I love all the work you've done.
- Thanks.
401
00:23:39,965 --> 00:23:44,231
That's a little gun rack
made out of deer hooves.
402
00:23:45,604 --> 00:23:48,937
Boy, I didn't know deer's could do that.
403
00:23:53,178 --> 00:23:57,205
This comes out of left fieldbut I'm looking for another actor.
404
00:23:57,282 --> 00:24:01,275
I was wondering if you had any interest
in participating in the show.
405
00:24:01,353 --> 00:24:03,446
Does that appeal to you in any way?
406
00:24:03,522 --> 00:24:05,683
I'm not much of an actor. I'm sorry.
407
00:24:05,757 --> 00:24:07,520
- No, I mean...
- I've never done...
408
00:24:07,592 --> 00:24:09,753
anything like that before really.
409
00:24:10,028 --> 00:24:13,395
Okay. Fair enough,
but it might be interesting, you know.
410
00:24:14,833 --> 00:24:17,461
Do you get off tonight?
What time do you get off tonight?
411
00:24:17,536 --> 00:24:19,265
Well, I get off at 8:00.
412
00:24:19,404 --> 00:24:20,803
At 8:00 tonight?
413
00:24:21,139 --> 00:24:23,664
Really. That's a long day.
414
00:24:24,576 --> 00:24:26,305
Dad, this is Mr...
415
00:24:26,411 --> 00:24:27,878
- St. Clair.
...St. Clair.
416
00:24:27,946 --> 00:24:29,379
- He's a drama guy.
- Yeah.
417
00:24:30,282 --> 00:24:32,580
- At 8:00 you're off, though.
- Right.
418
00:24:32,818 --> 00:24:35,412
I must tell you I'm not much
of an actor or singer.
419
00:24:35,487 --> 00:24:37,148
You know, that's what...
420
00:24:37,255 --> 00:24:40,315
Charles Laughton said,
and look what happened.
421
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:44,055
Did you change the fan belt
on that blue Chevy?
422
00:24:44,229 --> 00:24:45,924
I haven't done that yet.
423
00:24:46,064 --> 00:24:48,396
When you get done, will you get on that?
424
00:24:51,770 --> 00:24:53,203
So, how tall are you?
425
00:24:53,271 --> 00:24:55,364
- 6' 2".
- Really.
426
00:24:59,311 --> 00:25:01,711
"It's all the same"
427
00:25:02,113 --> 00:25:04,741
When we say,
"Nothing ever happens in Blaine"...
428
00:25:04,816 --> 00:25:06,807
could we try...
429
00:25:06,952 --> 00:25:09,318
you two singing it "Blaine"...
430
00:25:09,521 --> 00:25:12,046
where we really hear the "n" at the end...
431
00:25:12,123 --> 00:25:15,684
and you guys just go,
"Nothing ever happens in Blay."
432
00:25:15,961 --> 00:25:17,895
Don't say the "n," they say the "n's".
433
00:25:17,963 --> 00:25:23,367
Then you sing, "It's all the same,"
and you sing, "It's all the say."
434
00:25:23,702 --> 00:25:26,933
Let's try it once.
Okay, Jeannie, one, two, three, and...
435
00:25:27,038 --> 00:25:29,006
I know it's hard to jump in...
436
00:25:29,307 --> 00:25:32,504
because it must seem like,
you know, a new world.
437
00:25:33,612 --> 00:25:37,605
We'll ease you into it. And if you ever
have any questions you can always...
438
00:25:37,949 --> 00:25:39,007
call me up.
439
00:25:39,084 --> 00:25:42,417
I'll give you my private number.
It's not listed, so don't lose it.
440
00:25:42,487 --> 00:25:45,217
And do not give it out to anyone.
441
00:25:45,657 --> 00:25:47,284
"How high a ridge...
442
00:25:47,459 --> 00:25:49,222
"...I could not tell...
443
00:25:49,294 --> 00:25:52,127
- "...for the sun..."
- Okay, but not...
444
00:25:52,230 --> 00:25:56,462
not pinching your shirt.
I want you to hook in those thumbs.
445
00:25:56,568 --> 00:25:58,058
Yeah, there you go.
446
00:25:59,571 --> 00:26:01,562
Yeah, just... That's right.
447
00:26:01,873 --> 00:26:04,637
"How high a ridge I could not tell."
448
00:26:04,709 --> 00:26:08,008
See what's happening with your voice?
It's like you're...
449
00:26:08,113 --> 00:26:11,605
squeezing your boobies out,
and it'll go out into that audience.
450
00:26:11,683 --> 00:26:14,413
Pushing it right out. I could try it out.
451
00:26:16,154 --> 00:26:19,214
"How high a ridge I could not tell."
452
00:26:29,467 --> 00:26:30,695
Keep in time.
453
00:26:34,205 --> 00:26:35,331
Robin in the nest.
454
00:26:44,849 --> 00:26:46,339
"By the pool
455
00:26:46,584 --> 00:26:49,576
"In the stool
by the fire Yule
456
00:26:49,654 --> 00:26:51,315
"It's the rule!
457
00:26:51,389 --> 00:26:53,550
"Every stool
there's a stool!
458
00:26:53,625 --> 00:26:54,956
"Stools are where
459
00:26:55,026 --> 00:26:58,018
"Once upon a time
you'd find a chair
460
00:26:58,096 --> 00:26:59,757
"A chair is for fools
461
00:26:59,831 --> 00:27:02,493
"Everybody wants stools
462
00:27:02,567 --> 00:27:04,228
"Stool boom
463
00:27:04,302 --> 00:27:07,294
"From the parlor
to the pool room
464
00:27:07,372 --> 00:27:10,364
"Everyone knows our name"
465
00:27:10,775 --> 00:27:13,266
- Whose script is that?
- Sorry.
466
00:27:16,348 --> 00:27:18,509
"Starting, stopping
never breathing, working..."
467
00:27:23,855 --> 00:27:26,323
I don't want to interfere, but...
468
00:27:27,292 --> 00:27:28,953
I think it would be...
469
00:27:31,296 --> 00:27:33,491
we must work on...
- I can't hear you.
470
00:27:33,565 --> 00:27:36,898
I think we must work on
the music a little more...
471
00:27:37,168 --> 00:27:39,329
but I don't want to make trouble...
472
00:27:39,404 --> 00:27:40,564
so...
473
00:27:41,106 --> 00:27:43,939
I don't want to do this in front of them.
474
00:27:44,676 --> 00:27:46,974
- I think...
- Where do you want to do it?
475
00:27:47,045 --> 00:27:50,378
I think we have to sit down
and make a schedule...
476
00:27:50,749 --> 00:27:54,685
that includes some music time
'cause I think...
477
00:27:54,986 --> 00:27:56,180
Jean and I...
478
00:27:56,721 --> 00:27:58,951
have to work...
- Why are you whispering?
479
00:27:59,024 --> 00:28:01,185
I'm right here, you know.
480
00:28:01,426 --> 00:28:04,361
I'm sorry, do you want me to talk louder?
481
00:28:05,897 --> 00:28:07,797
Because I think...
482
00:28:07,866 --> 00:28:09,766
Now it's too loud.
483
00:28:10,168 --> 00:28:13,035
Just talk like a normal person, okay?
484
00:28:13,304 --> 00:28:16,034
I think what they were doing was good.
485
00:28:16,341 --> 00:28:17,330
For me.
486
00:28:17,409 --> 00:28:20,640
Rehearse, get it perfect.
You know what you're doing.
487
00:28:20,712 --> 00:28:22,646
- Then what?
- Then you forget about it.
488
00:28:22,714 --> 00:28:25,581
Let me pinpoint you.
You said they learn it, they forget it.
489
00:28:25,784 --> 00:28:27,718
- And that's okay.
- That's great.
490
00:28:27,819 --> 00:28:30,413
- They've forgotten it...
- But they never learned it.
491
00:28:30,488 --> 00:28:33,116
When do they learn it? When do we...
492
00:28:33,224 --> 00:28:37,217
If they're going to forget it anyway
then what difference does it make?
493
00:28:37,796 --> 00:28:42,130
It's like one of those, it's like a Zen thing.
494
00:28:42,233 --> 00:28:43,962
It's like, you know...
495
00:28:44,169 --> 00:28:46,501
how many babies fit...
496
00:28:46,771 --> 00:28:51,174
in the tire thing.
That whole, the old joke, you know.
497
00:28:52,310 --> 00:28:55,108
You have a point. It's an interesting point.
498
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,409
How'd you find this place?
499
00:29:01,086 --> 00:29:03,953
- We've been coming here for many years.
- Every Thursday.
500
00:29:04,589 --> 00:29:07,490
With the rehearsals,
you won't be able to now.
501
00:29:07,625 --> 00:29:08,387
True.
502
00:29:08,460 --> 00:29:10,690
In China they kill a monkey at the table...
503
00:29:10,762 --> 00:29:13,424
and split its head open,
eat the brains right there.
504
00:29:15,667 --> 00:29:18,761
We had friends,
Barbara and Bruce, remember?
505
00:29:18,903 --> 00:29:21,098
They went to China...
506
00:29:21,473 --> 00:29:25,432
you're in travel I'm sure you've been
to Peking, where ducks are made...
507
00:29:25,510 --> 00:29:27,000
and what they say...
508
00:29:27,078 --> 00:29:30,275
is that the food over there is not as good.
509
00:29:30,381 --> 00:29:34,078
You can't get a sauce as thick and sweet.
They don't make it like that.
510
00:29:34,152 --> 00:29:36,882
- The food is steamed.
- They should've called you.
511
00:29:36,955 --> 00:29:38,183
That's right.
512
00:29:38,490 --> 00:29:42,085
We got good packages.
If you want to get down to Miami...
513
00:29:42,227 --> 00:29:44,627
we've got a great package.
A week, two weeks.
514
00:29:44,729 --> 00:29:45,787
Really.
515
00:29:46,231 --> 00:29:49,689
You get any kind of food in Blaine.
You don't...
516
00:29:50,335 --> 00:29:52,496
You get Chinese here and...
517
00:29:52,570 --> 00:29:54,936
no need to...
- We're talking about Miami now.
518
00:29:55,006 --> 00:29:58,908
- We'd love to. Is it direct?
- It's a great package, one or two weeks.
519
00:29:59,210 --> 00:30:01,178
There're no Chinese people in Miami?
520
00:30:01,246 --> 00:30:04,340
- We should.
- Of course there are!
521
00:30:04,482 --> 00:30:08,714
- We're talking about China.
- I'm talking about going to Miami.
522
00:30:09,687 --> 00:30:12,053
Eat something before you have more wine.
523
00:30:12,223 --> 00:30:13,918
What's it, what's it...
524
00:30:14,959 --> 00:30:16,392
Girl talk.
525
00:30:16,728 --> 00:30:19,720
What's it like to be
with a circumcised man?
526
00:30:21,533 --> 00:30:24,058
I'd ask you more about that but Ron said...
527
00:30:24,669 --> 00:30:26,864
the whole Jew thing's not...
528
00:30:28,806 --> 00:30:30,740
When Ron had his surgery...
529
00:30:31,876 --> 00:30:34,845
I said, "Circumcise it while you're at it."
530
00:30:34,946 --> 00:30:36,914
I've never been with anyone else.
531
00:30:36,981 --> 00:30:41,077
- Ron's the only man I've been with.
- What kind of surgery did you have?
532
00:30:41,286 --> 00:30:43,117
Minor corrective surgery.
533
00:30:43,188 --> 00:30:45,019
Can we have some coffee, please?
534
00:30:45,089 --> 00:30:46,920
It's not minor anymore.
535
00:30:49,460 --> 00:30:51,587
- We should change the subject.
- No.
536
00:30:51,930 --> 00:30:55,093
I had what, you know, most guys, would...
537
00:30:55,733 --> 00:30:58,167
dream of, you know. I had to have...
538
00:30:58,770 --> 00:31:01,466
penis reduction surgery.
- I'm sorry?
539
00:31:01,606 --> 00:31:02,868
Penis reduction.
540
00:31:03,174 --> 00:31:06,701
You'll say, "Never heard of it,"
'cause there aren't many cases.
541
00:31:06,878 --> 00:31:08,812
I said, "Ron, do something."
542
00:31:09,047 --> 00:31:12,847
He said, "Why don't you get one of those
vagina enlargements?"
543
00:31:12,917 --> 00:31:14,976
Dear, could we have some coffee?
544
00:31:15,053 --> 00:31:18,079
- You tried the egg rolls? Unbelievable.
- They're good.
545
00:31:18,723 --> 00:31:20,247
You're a medical man.
546
00:31:20,325 --> 00:31:22,486
I want to ask you something.
547
00:31:24,195 --> 00:31:25,560
For heaven's sake, no!
548
00:31:25,630 --> 00:31:27,461
- I just want you...
- Don't do that.
549
00:31:27,532 --> 00:31:31,992
Medicine man not go near
dances with stumpy, no!
550
00:31:32,337 --> 00:31:33,895
Everybody, everybody...
551
00:31:34,072 --> 00:31:36,563
I have a little announcement to make.
552
00:31:37,008 --> 00:31:39,340
I wasn't going to tell you. I sent out...
553
00:31:39,510 --> 00:31:43,378
ten letters to different producers
in New York City.
554
00:31:43,548 --> 00:31:46,483
This is from
the Oppenheimer Organization.
555
00:31:47,151 --> 00:31:48,914
"Dear Mr. St. Clair...
556
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:54,280
"...ln response to your letter
re: Blaine, Missouri's 150th anniversary...
557
00:31:54,692 --> 00:31:57,422
"...and the debut of your original musical...
558
00:31:57,528 --> 00:31:59,496
"...Red, White and Blaine...
559
00:31:59,864 --> 00:32:03,823
"...the Oppenheimer Organization
is delighted to inform you...
560
00:32:03,901 --> 00:32:06,529
"...that it will send a representative...
561
00:32:06,604 --> 00:32:09,903
"...Mr. Mort Guffman,
to view the production...
562
00:32:09,974 --> 00:32:12,204
"...and enlighten us with his comments."
563
00:32:12,277 --> 00:32:13,574
How about that.
564
00:32:14,012 --> 00:32:17,379
"Thank you for the invitation." And it says,
"Best regards...
565
00:32:17,749 --> 00:32:20,240
"...Samuel Oppenheimer, Junior."
566
00:32:22,553 --> 00:32:24,350
What does this mean, Corky?
567
00:32:24,656 --> 00:32:28,990
What it means is
we may be going to Broadway.
568
00:32:38,503 --> 00:32:42,599
My aunt brought out her atlasthat I look at a lot.
569
00:32:42,707 --> 00:32:44,436
This big blue book and...
570
00:32:44,942 --> 00:32:48,969
opened up to New York
and it's an island, is really what it is.
571
00:32:49,847 --> 00:32:52,509
It's this island full of people of...
572
00:32:53,184 --> 00:32:56,642
different colors
and different ideas and I can't...
573
00:32:56,754 --> 00:33:01,020
It sounds like a lot of fun to me.
We don't see much of that...
574
00:33:01,392 --> 00:33:02,882
in Blaine.
575
00:33:03,127 --> 00:33:04,458
I'd like to...
576
00:33:04,696 --> 00:33:06,789
maybe meet some guys, some...
577
00:33:07,031 --> 00:33:09,295
Italian guys or...
578
00:33:09,534 --> 00:33:11,126
watch TV and stuff.
579
00:33:11,569 --> 00:33:16,131
I'll be glad to do the show on Broadway,
and there will probably be other offers.
580
00:33:16,207 --> 00:33:17,572
Keeping our fingers crossed.
581
00:33:17,675 --> 00:33:21,668
But I don't know
if the theater and the stage is for me.
582
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:26,517
There's a lot of memorizing of lines.
I think you know what I'm thinking.
583
00:33:26,718 --> 00:33:30,415
- Yeah, that's always been in the way.
- The ultimate goal, Hollywood.
584
00:33:30,888 --> 00:33:35,587
Even when I was a kid doing impressions:
"Here's looking at you, babe" and...
585
00:33:36,494 --> 00:33:40,988
"You don't care about
anyone but yourself."
586
00:33:41,566 --> 00:33:44,660
Who is it? Henry Fonda.
I always have to say who I'm doing.
587
00:33:44,736 --> 00:33:46,863
She laughs and says, "Who's that?"
588
00:33:46,938 --> 00:33:50,339
There's the germ in my mind that
that's where I'd end up...
589
00:33:50,408 --> 00:33:54,401
on the silver screen.
You got the face for it too, darling.
590
00:33:54,579 --> 00:33:57,070
I want to try that "less is more" acting...
591
00:33:57,482 --> 00:34:02,112
where when you talk to someone
you close your eyes, then look at them...
592
00:34:02,186 --> 00:34:07,123
when you're not talking to them.
Talking to them, you go like that...
593
00:34:07,425 --> 00:34:10,826
and you open your eyes,
then you look back at them.
594
00:34:11,362 --> 00:34:13,125
The Guffman news is really big.
595
00:34:13,698 --> 00:34:17,794
I don't truthfully think
that the cast understand...
596
00:34:18,536 --> 00:34:19,764
how big.
597
00:34:19,937 --> 00:34:23,566
They don't know the New York thing.
They haven't been through it and I have.
598
00:34:23,641 --> 00:34:25,871
So, it's kind of on my shoulders.
599
00:34:27,845 --> 00:34:31,906
Going to the Big Apple
for the first time is...
600
00:34:32,450 --> 00:34:36,386
such an experience, you never forget it.
It stays with you for your whole life.
601
00:34:36,454 --> 00:34:40,618
Me, you know, right out of the Navy,
fresh off a destroyer...
602
00:34:41,259 --> 00:34:46,162
with a dance belt and a tube of
Chapstick, not much to call my own.
603
00:34:46,297 --> 00:34:49,824
And then basically being
slammed down for...
604
00:34:50,234 --> 00:34:53,965
ten or so years, you know,
off-off-off-off-Broadway...
605
00:34:54,071 --> 00:34:57,472
and then, enough is enough.
I get the joke.
606
00:34:58,476 --> 00:35:01,639
Will that happen again?
I don't want it to happen again.
607
00:35:01,813 --> 00:35:06,113
In my deepest, deepest of hearts
I do not want it to happen again.
608
00:35:06,250 --> 00:35:09,686
Mr. Guffman brings with him a reputation.
609
00:35:09,854 --> 00:35:13,415
Something bigger than anyone in this town
has ever known...
610
00:35:13,491 --> 00:35:16,153
and if I am to get back
to New York City...
611
00:35:16,828 --> 00:35:19,922
on my terms I cannot deliver him...
612
00:35:20,264 --> 00:35:23,256
a stinky product. I really have to be...
613
00:35:23,434 --> 00:35:24,924
presenting him...
614
00:35:25,102 --> 00:35:27,502
a package. A beautifully wrapped...
615
00:35:27,672 --> 00:35:28,832
glossy...
616
00:35:29,006 --> 00:35:30,735
sweet-smelling show.
617
00:35:31,776 --> 00:35:33,334
What I need...
618
00:35:33,644 --> 00:35:36,135
from you, because you're the bosses...
619
00:35:36,214 --> 00:35:39,513
of the town essentially,
and I know that, is...
620
00:35:41,319 --> 00:35:44,152
This is so hard.
There's nothing easy about this.
621
00:35:44,422 --> 00:35:47,152
It's like getting your legs waxed...
622
00:35:47,225 --> 00:35:49,420
and they whip that thing off real fast.
623
00:35:49,594 --> 00:35:51,994
That's what this is like.
624
00:35:52,663 --> 00:35:53,687
I need...
625
00:35:53,764 --> 00:35:55,493
more money.
626
00:35:57,602 --> 00:36:00,070
Steve's right. How much do you need?
627
00:36:02,473 --> 00:36:04,134
What I need...
628
00:36:05,710 --> 00:36:07,940
is $100,000.
629
00:36:20,091 --> 00:36:22,685
Let me explain, let me explain what...
630
00:36:23,895 --> 00:36:27,558
Oh, man, my heart stopped for a second.
631
00:36:27,665 --> 00:36:31,897
- Let me explain really what that entails.
- I bought it all the way.
632
00:36:33,671 --> 00:36:35,639
He's serious, Glenn.
633
00:36:36,173 --> 00:36:38,733
- He's not kidding.
- Our entire budget...
634
00:36:39,010 --> 00:36:40,534
for the entire year is...
635
00:36:40,611 --> 00:36:44,240
$15,000 for everything
and that includes swimming.
636
00:36:44,815 --> 00:36:46,783
I don't have any swimming in my show.
637
00:36:46,851 --> 00:36:50,218
No, I mean the pool.
That's the entire year.
638
00:36:50,521 --> 00:36:53,490
- We have a manager.
- $100,000?
639
00:36:54,025 --> 00:36:58,359
You're a nice fellow, and we're all glad
you're here, but if I may be blunt...
640
00:36:58,462 --> 00:36:59,929
what's wrong with you?
641
00:37:02,900 --> 00:37:06,461
What I'm understanding here,
and correct me if I'm wrong...
642
00:37:06,537 --> 00:37:08,664
is that you're not giving me...
643
00:37:08,906 --> 00:37:10,100
any money.
644
00:37:10,174 --> 00:37:12,734
Now I'm left basically with nothing.
645
00:37:12,810 --> 00:37:17,179
I'm left with zero, in which...
What can I do with zero?
646
00:37:18,449 --> 00:37:21,612
I can't do anything.
This is my life here we're talking about.
647
00:37:21,686 --> 00:37:24,951
Not something else.
We're talking about my life.
648
00:37:25,489 --> 00:37:27,957
It's forcing me to do something
I don't want to do.
649
00:37:28,559 --> 00:37:29,526
To leave.
650
00:37:29,594 --> 00:37:34,827
To go out and just leave and go home
and make a clean cut here...
651
00:37:34,966 --> 00:37:38,800
and say, "No way, you're not putting up
with these people."
652
00:37:38,970 --> 00:37:43,339
Why can't I put up with you people?
Because you're bastard people.
653
00:37:43,741 --> 00:37:46,972
That's what you are.
You're bastard people and I'll go home...
654
00:37:47,645 --> 00:37:51,081
to bite my pillow, is what I'll do!
655
00:37:57,488 --> 00:37:59,581
- What do you use on your skin?
- Vaseline.
656
00:37:59,657 --> 00:38:03,149
You use petroleum jelly on your skin?
You are getting away with murder.
657
00:38:03,461 --> 00:38:05,691
- What do you mean?
- You're young, it's okay...
658
00:38:05,763 --> 00:38:08,664
I have an announcement.
I have to talk to you.
659
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,366
Excuse me. I must talk to you.
660
00:38:11,435 --> 00:38:13,528
- I'll round us up.
- Okay, hold on.
661
00:38:15,506 --> 00:38:18,236
- Good morning.
- We have an announcement.
662
00:38:18,342 --> 00:38:20,173
We have to talk.
663
00:38:20,745 --> 00:38:23,873
Everybody gather around, please.
Gather around.
664
00:38:25,783 --> 00:38:26,977
Excuse me.
665
00:38:27,318 --> 00:38:31,982
Dr. Pearl, please be quiet.
I have an announcement. Listen up.
666
00:38:32,089 --> 00:38:34,114
Are we going to be vocalizing?
667
00:38:34,191 --> 00:38:37,354
- We will be vocalizing.
- I'd like to clear my throat.
668
00:38:38,462 --> 00:38:41,022
Yes, we'll be vocalizing.
669
00:38:41,966 --> 00:38:43,331
Excuse me, please.
670
00:38:43,868 --> 00:38:46,803
Everybody, let's be serious,
just for a moment.
671
00:38:46,971 --> 00:38:48,871
Let's all listen up, okay?
672
00:38:49,006 --> 00:38:52,305
Corky has left the show,
and I am taking over.
673
00:38:52,743 --> 00:38:54,301
What I want to do today...
674
00:38:54,378 --> 00:38:56,869
is start with some music, do dancing...
675
00:38:57,081 --> 00:39:00,642
and work on our lines.
My hope is that at the end of five days...
676
00:39:00,718 --> 00:39:02,618
we'll know what to do...
- What?
677
00:39:02,687 --> 00:39:04,746
and we'll have a show.
- Corky's left?
678
00:39:04,822 --> 00:39:07,814
- He's left for today or permanently?
- Quit the show...
679
00:39:07,925 --> 00:39:09,483
and it's my show.
680
00:39:20,638 --> 00:39:23,129
Do that twice a day, that's good exercise.
681
00:39:24,275 --> 00:39:26,869
- Is he not answering?
- Corky, we love you!
682
00:39:26,944 --> 00:39:28,070
Corky, open up!
683
00:39:28,746 --> 00:39:31,306
We love you! We want you to live!
684
00:39:31,449 --> 00:39:34,043
There may be something wrong.
Try the door.
685
00:39:45,763 --> 00:39:47,128
He wants to be alone.
686
00:39:47,198 --> 00:39:50,361
- I won't forgive myself if anything's wrong.
- Just shut up!
687
00:39:50,468 --> 00:39:52,299
Jesus Christ!
688
00:39:52,803 --> 00:39:53,963
Please!
689
00:39:54,739 --> 00:39:57,230
You freaking people! My God!
690
00:39:57,308 --> 00:39:58,866
I know how he feels, too!
691
00:40:00,544 --> 00:40:03,536
Guess I can just go back
to the Dairy Queen.
692
00:40:07,551 --> 00:40:09,178
They said they'd take me back.
693
00:40:13,157 --> 00:40:15,387
I always have a place at the Dairy Queen.
694
00:40:20,664 --> 00:40:21,961
You must stop crying.
695
00:40:22,032 --> 00:40:25,468
She hasn't cried this much
since the day we got married, honestly.
696
00:40:27,371 --> 00:40:28,565
This is wonderful.
697
00:40:28,639 --> 00:40:32,666
I didn't react like this when
I played football for the Blaine Panthers...
698
00:40:32,743 --> 00:40:35,109
and our quarterback
had a dislocated knee.
699
00:40:35,179 --> 00:40:38,410
- I should've said, "Time out."
- 'Cause you're strong.
700
00:40:38,482 --> 00:40:41,610
"Let's delay the game."
My lip trembled and I'd say:
701
00:40:41,685 --> 00:40:44,415
"We have an injured quarterback,
let's give up."
702
00:40:44,488 --> 00:40:47,286
No. You know what?
We brought in the second quarterback.
703
00:40:47,358 --> 00:40:49,792
When he went down,
we brought in the third one...
704
00:40:49,860 --> 00:40:52,658
and we went out and we whipped
Harry Truman High School...
705
00:40:52,763 --> 00:40:56,631
and then we mopped the floor
with Blessed Heart of Mary...
706
00:40:56,700 --> 00:40:59,328
and they went on to win
the State Championship.
707
00:41:05,042 --> 00:41:08,637
To tell you the truth,I haven't thought about it.
708
00:41:08,712 --> 00:41:13,411
Not for a second have I dwelled
on the fact that the show's over.
709
00:41:13,751 --> 00:41:17,118
I don't think about it.
I try not to think about it.
710
00:41:17,188 --> 00:41:21,284
And therefore I don't.
Because it's a very healthy way...
711
00:41:21,458 --> 00:41:25,656
to deal with something that's ultimately
not that important in the long run.
712
00:41:25,729 --> 00:41:29,995
It's not important at all, you know, for me.
713
00:41:34,038 --> 00:41:36,973
I'm just so sad for Corky. I mean...
714
00:41:37,141 --> 00:41:40,508
I think these creative people
are real emotional.
715
00:41:41,745 --> 00:41:44,407
I think the important thing
about show biz people...
716
00:41:44,481 --> 00:41:48,008
is that you must have another life
and I know, you know...
717
00:41:48,419 --> 00:41:51,980
he's got a wife.
I guess she's out of town...
718
00:41:52,890 --> 00:41:54,824
because I haven't seen her.
719
00:41:54,925 --> 00:41:59,294
And I've never seen her.
So, you know, that could be the problem.
720
00:41:59,363 --> 00:42:01,331
Maybe she's just not supportive.
721
00:42:01,999 --> 00:42:06,095
Without you there's no show.Without a show, no celebration.
722
00:42:06,203 --> 00:42:08,603
Without a celebration, there's no Blaine.
723
00:42:08,739 --> 00:42:11,037
So, you see how it's a domino effect.
724
00:42:11,775 --> 00:42:13,538
You know how dominoes do that.
725
00:42:13,611 --> 00:42:16,273
Without Blaine, there's no Missouri.
726
00:42:16,347 --> 00:42:18,076
Blaine's the heart of Missouri.
727
00:42:18,148 --> 00:42:21,049
What happens if Missouri goes down?
You tell me.
728
00:42:21,252 --> 00:42:24,483
We need the magic back in the show,
is what we need.
729
00:42:24,989 --> 00:42:27,457
And it won't happen with Lloyd.
730
00:42:27,524 --> 00:42:29,424
Lloyd is a music teacher...
731
00:42:29,593 --> 00:42:32,494
he shops at Walmart.
He doesn't support the town.
732
00:42:32,897 --> 00:42:35,263
The person who needs you the most...
733
00:42:35,432 --> 00:42:37,263
is Blaine Fabin.
734
00:42:38,435 --> 00:42:41,700
And I'm not just saying that
because I am a Fabin.
735
00:42:42,373 --> 00:42:44,603
I'm saying that because I just know...
736
00:42:44,675 --> 00:42:46,074
that nobody...
737
00:42:46,143 --> 00:42:47,542
can touch...
738
00:42:48,212 --> 00:42:49,702
that whole...
739
00:42:50,381 --> 00:42:51,439
thing.
740
00:42:52,283 --> 00:42:53,614
That whole thing.
741
00:42:54,385 --> 00:42:57,013
You could take a nickel and make it into...
742
00:42:57,121 --> 00:43:00,454
into $1 million. He's a genius!
We can't lose that.
743
00:43:00,557 --> 00:43:03,788
Look what you did with Barefoot
without a budget.
744
00:43:03,961 --> 00:43:07,055
You didn't have $100,000
and look what happened to that show.
745
00:43:07,231 --> 00:43:11,361
And Backdraft? You took a bit of
cellophane and made it into flames.
746
00:43:11,435 --> 00:43:13,164
You can still feel the heat.
747
00:43:13,237 --> 00:43:14,966
You're not wrong.
748
00:43:15,306 --> 00:43:17,706
We need you to take your magic wand...
749
00:43:18,242 --> 00:43:19,800
and wave it...
750
00:43:20,144 --> 00:43:23,477
and make this town special again,
is what we need.
751
00:43:24,648 --> 00:43:26,138
Will you do it?
752
00:43:26,817 --> 00:43:28,478
Come on back, Corky.
753
00:43:47,838 --> 00:43:49,100
Pain!
754
00:43:54,812 --> 00:43:55,801
Thank you.
755
00:43:56,947 --> 00:44:00,348
Let's pretend that it never happened, okay?
756
00:44:00,517 --> 00:44:04,351
Let's jump into Covered Wagons.
Let's start from the dance part.
757
00:44:04,588 --> 00:44:05,919
Covered Wagons!
758
00:44:15,366 --> 00:44:16,958
In a funny way...
759
00:44:17,134 --> 00:44:20,297
what the City Council did wasreally give me a challenge.
760
00:44:20,537 --> 00:44:24,200
It's a challenge that I'm going to accept.
761
00:44:24,308 --> 00:44:26,538
It's like in the olden days in the...
762
00:44:26,710 --> 00:44:30,806
days in France, when men would slap
each other with their gloves...
763
00:44:30,981 --> 00:44:33,472
and say, you know, "D'Artagnan...
764
00:44:33,650 --> 00:44:36,517
"...how dare you talk to me like that, you!"
765
00:44:36,587 --> 00:44:38,145
And smack them.
766
00:45:13,257 --> 00:45:15,248
I did want to mention one thing.
767
00:45:18,262 --> 00:45:19,194
Specs?
768
00:45:19,696 --> 00:45:21,095
1845...
769
00:45:21,265 --> 00:45:22,857
you know, I think...
770
00:45:23,333 --> 00:45:24,857
it's a little problem.
771
00:45:27,271 --> 00:45:28,932
My glasses.
772
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:31,908
- I can't...
- I don't think you should wear them.
773
00:45:31,975 --> 00:45:33,636
Don't wear them in the show?
774
00:45:33,710 --> 00:45:35,234
Mostly in Covered Wagons.
775
00:45:35,312 --> 00:45:39,544
That's the one
where it's just not as believable.
776
00:45:39,616 --> 00:45:42,949
Of course when you get
further up in time...
777
00:45:43,053 --> 00:45:44,384
Historically it's...
778
00:45:44,455 --> 00:45:48,858
I can see a couple of problems.
Nothing major and nothing we can't solve.
779
00:45:48,926 --> 00:45:50,154
One:
780
00:45:51,395 --> 00:45:54,956
Contrary to public opinion,
I don't see very well...
781
00:45:55,699 --> 00:45:57,098
without my glasses.
782
00:45:57,167 --> 00:46:01,501
So, I'm thinking is that going to be
a problem for me, just...
783
00:46:01,905 --> 00:46:03,133
look out.
784
00:46:03,240 --> 00:46:07,336
And the other thing
which is also a problem is...
785
00:46:08,145 --> 00:46:11,080
I have a very lazy eye...
786
00:46:11,482 --> 00:46:12,642
which...
787
00:46:12,816 --> 00:46:15,080
these prescription glasses...
788
00:46:15,252 --> 00:46:17,083
help correct.
789
00:46:37,941 --> 00:46:41,172
Getting off the horse is not a problem.
I can get off like that.
790
00:46:41,245 --> 00:46:43,008
Where I'm having a problem is...
791
00:46:43,113 --> 00:46:46,310
sometimes the horse comes out
and I can't get past the cow.
792
00:46:46,383 --> 00:46:51,286
So I have to do this when I come out.
Gather 'round, for I have news.
793
00:46:51,455 --> 00:46:54,822
I don't know which is more life-like,
the horse or Dr. Pearl.
794
00:46:57,127 --> 00:46:58,094
You.
795
00:46:58,195 --> 00:47:01,187
When you come in from here
it just looks great.
796
00:47:01,265 --> 00:47:03,961
- I feel like a hero coming in.
- Hello.
797
00:47:06,436 --> 00:47:07,767
Yeah?
798
00:47:09,206 --> 00:47:10,537
What do you mean?
799
00:47:10,707 --> 00:47:12,937
- Then we back up.
- Wait till we turn around.
800
00:47:13,010 --> 00:47:16,776
- I've waited for you to turn...
- What are you saying?
801
00:47:18,048 --> 00:47:21,711
I understand that. I understand.
Believe me, I do understand.
802
00:47:22,786 --> 00:47:26,552
What you can do is just say,
"absolutely not."
803
00:47:26,657 --> 00:47:28,648
Do you understand that?
804
00:47:29,059 --> 00:47:32,222
I don't believe that, I'm sorry.
I do not accept that.
805
00:47:32,396 --> 00:47:34,057
That is not an answer, no.
806
00:47:34,498 --> 00:47:37,365
It's unacceptable
that you would say this now.
807
00:47:37,467 --> 00:47:38,627
Not today.
808
00:47:42,072 --> 00:47:44,165
And that's the way it is?
809
00:47:44,341 --> 00:47:48,744
Then I just hate you!
And I hate your ass face!
810
00:47:51,515 --> 00:47:52,345
What's up?
811
00:47:52,416 --> 00:47:56,580
Johnny's not in the show.
His dad said he has to go back to work.
812
00:47:57,421 --> 00:48:01,016
Does he think it's school
and he can be absent one day?
813
00:48:01,191 --> 00:48:03,887
- This is the day of the show, y'all.
- My God.
814
00:48:04,695 --> 00:48:06,925
- Just...
- This is very strange.
815
00:48:06,997 --> 00:48:09,932
Ron, just let me think for a second,
all right?
816
00:48:10,267 --> 00:48:14,397
I just got to take a breath here
and try to figure this out, all right?
817
00:48:20,877 --> 00:48:22,936
It's tight. Oh, that hurts.
818
00:48:23,313 --> 00:48:26,043
Hike it up a little bit, you'll get more room.
819
00:48:26,149 --> 00:48:29,516
I'm pulling them up. I'm trying
to commit to one side here, dear.
820
00:48:29,586 --> 00:48:32,555
This is Johnny's costume
and Johnny's a lot...
821
00:48:32,723 --> 00:48:35,624
He's a different body type than you are.
822
00:48:36,326 --> 00:48:40,057
- I'm about five inches away...
- I understand.
823
00:48:40,230 --> 00:48:43,063
Actors, we're at 15 minutes.
824
00:48:43,667 --> 00:48:45,066
We're at 15.
825
00:48:45,235 --> 00:48:47,066
No. We got to move now.
826
00:48:47,237 --> 00:48:48,864
You'll have to help me.
827
00:48:49,339 --> 00:48:51,239
You've got to help me here.
828
00:49:01,551 --> 00:49:03,644
- I'm so nervous.
- You'll be great.
829
00:49:03,754 --> 00:49:06,917
If there's an empty space, say a line.
I like to do that.
830
00:49:07,090 --> 00:49:08,785
Even if it's from another show.
831
00:49:15,866 --> 00:49:18,266
- Where's the lilac dress?
- The purple one?
832
00:49:18,335 --> 00:49:19,267
Where is it?
833
00:49:19,336 --> 00:49:23,500
I told you to lay off the hot fudge sundaes.
I couldn't let the seams out.
834
00:49:23,573 --> 00:49:25,666
- It's not here?
- No, it is not.
835
00:49:40,390 --> 00:49:42,517
I destroyed my make-up!
836
00:49:42,793 --> 00:49:44,988
Hark, a rider approaches!
837
00:49:45,095 --> 00:49:47,620
- Oh, God.
- No, it's all right. Careful.
838
00:49:47,798 --> 00:49:49,527
I hope that isn't too hot.
839
00:49:49,633 --> 00:49:51,396
No, no, it's just fine.
840
00:50:32,843 --> 00:50:35,505
No glasses for the first number.
841
00:50:35,679 --> 00:50:39,342
- No, no. I didn't forget.
- Actors, we're at places.
842
00:50:39,516 --> 00:50:42,246
Have a good show, everybody.
Break a leg!
843
00:51:16,853 --> 00:51:19,822
Don't worry, it's all going to roll...
844
00:51:19,956 --> 00:51:21,253
- He's not here.
- What?
845
00:51:21,324 --> 00:51:23,292
- He's not here.
- Guffman?
846
00:51:23,493 --> 00:51:24,517
Not here?
847
00:51:27,130 --> 00:51:30,827
Everybody, look,
I've been through this a million times.
848
00:51:31,067 --> 00:51:33,262
These New York types like to come late.
849
00:51:33,336 --> 00:51:34,997
I've never seen one of them...
850
00:51:35,071 --> 00:51:37,835
come on time in all my years
in the theater.
851
00:51:38,008 --> 00:51:39,566
Take a deep breath.
852
00:51:39,910 --> 00:51:41,969
Blow it out. He'll be here.
853
00:51:42,078 --> 00:51:45,138
Let's just do a good show, okay?
Everybody.
854
00:51:45,248 --> 00:51:46,875
Hands in the middle.
855
00:52:23,186 --> 00:52:24,448
Howdy!
856
00:52:25,622 --> 00:52:29,058
Didn't see you sneak up on me there.
857
00:52:29,192 --> 00:52:33,288
If you like you're welcome to share
my campfire with me.
858
00:52:33,463 --> 00:52:36,023
I was just fixing to get me some grub.
859
00:52:37,033 --> 00:52:38,364
Beans.
860
00:52:40,070 --> 00:52:41,560
I love beans.
861
00:52:41,705 --> 00:52:44,401
Big, fat, hot, juicy beans.
862
00:52:44,574 --> 00:52:47,065
Now don't get me going on beans...
863
00:52:47,210 --> 00:52:50,338
or I'll be jabbering away
till the sun comes up.
864
00:52:51,181 --> 00:52:52,512
But you know...
865
00:52:52,582 --> 00:52:54,413
now that I've got your ear...
866
00:52:54,484 --> 00:52:57,317
there is a story I'd like to share with you.
867
00:52:57,487 --> 00:53:01,924
It's a tall tale that grows taller
with each passing year.
868
00:53:02,092 --> 00:53:03,650
It's the story...
869
00:53:03,827 --> 00:53:05,488
of Blaine.
870
00:53:20,510 --> 00:53:24,276
We've traveled long and far today.
The women and children must rest.
871
00:53:24,347 --> 00:53:27,180
Don't you rest on our account,
Daniel Potter.
872
00:53:27,350 --> 00:53:31,343
We women are just as strong and resilient
as you men.
873
00:53:32,322 --> 00:53:35,348
I believe you are, Rebecca.
I believe you are.
874
00:53:35,525 --> 00:53:38,756
California will be a sight
for these weary eyes.
875
00:53:38,962 --> 00:53:41,260
Mine as well, Rebecca. Mine as well.
876
00:53:41,364 --> 00:53:45,528
But right now we need a campfire
to warm our souls and to cook our food.
877
00:53:45,969 --> 00:53:47,027
Done.
878
00:53:52,842 --> 00:53:55,538
That's quite enough of that, Billy Whitaker.
879
00:53:55,612 --> 00:53:57,045
Just one kiss.
880
00:53:57,147 --> 00:54:01,140
There'll be plenty of time for kissing
when we get to California.
881
00:54:01,284 --> 00:54:03,275
If we get to California.
882
00:54:03,486 --> 00:54:05,215
Oh, we'll get there.
883
00:54:05,388 --> 00:54:08,016
Blaine Fabin will lead us there.
884
00:54:08,224 --> 00:54:10,283
Hark, a rider approaches.
885
00:54:10,493 --> 00:54:12,984
Blaine Fabin returns!
886
00:54:17,968 --> 00:54:20,459
Whoa! Steady!
887
00:54:22,005 --> 00:54:24,496
Gather 'round, for I have news.
888
00:54:24,908 --> 00:54:28,503
What news? What did your keen
and perceptive eyes behold?
889
00:54:30,513 --> 00:54:33,004
Just off yonder there is a ridge.
890
00:54:33,416 --> 00:54:36,010
How high a ridge I could not tell...
891
00:54:36,186 --> 00:54:40,350
for the sun had set and darkness fell
before I reached its pinnacle.
892
00:54:40,957 --> 00:54:42,049
Then...
893
00:54:42,192 --> 00:54:44,057
a strange thing happened.
894
00:54:44,894 --> 00:54:46,919
My nose started twitching.
895
00:54:47,697 --> 00:54:50,928
There's a mysterious scent in the night air.
896
00:54:51,334 --> 00:54:52,767
What kind of scent?
897
00:54:52,936 --> 00:54:54,927
What was this mysterious scent?
898
00:54:55,138 --> 00:54:58,164
It was the scent of salt water.
899
00:54:59,409 --> 00:55:00,706
Salt water.
900
00:55:02,245 --> 00:55:03,712
Ladies and gentlemen...
901
00:55:03,780 --> 00:55:05,941
we have reached our destination.
902
00:55:06,082 --> 00:55:07,982
We have reached the Pacific.
903
00:55:08,284 --> 00:55:11,447
Welcome to California!
904
00:55:18,094 --> 00:55:20,460
"Grab your fella by the hand
905
00:55:20,563 --> 00:55:23,123
"Welcome him to the Promised Land
906
00:55:23,233 --> 00:55:25,633
"Grab your Lady by the arm
907
00:55:25,702 --> 00:55:28,136
"Take her out behind the barn!"
908
00:55:31,808 --> 00:55:33,799
Everybody dance!
909
00:56:24,794 --> 00:56:26,421
That was great.
910
00:56:28,798 --> 00:56:30,629
Sixty years went by...
911
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:34,201
and the town of Blaine kept a-growing
and a-changing.
912
00:56:34,537 --> 00:56:39,201
Every time you looked around a new house
was going up, a new family was moving in.
913
00:56:39,442 --> 00:56:42,707
- Hurry, Agnes.
- I am trying to hurry. There we go.
914
00:56:42,879 --> 00:56:44,312
Do you got my hat?
915
00:56:44,447 --> 00:56:47,143
Your hat is right here, darling.
916
00:56:47,317 --> 00:56:51,310
McGillicutty's orchard became
the Blaine Elementary School.
917
00:56:51,454 --> 00:56:56,357
They even laid tracks for that
newfangled invention, the Iron Horse...
918
00:56:56,493 --> 00:56:59,929
which brought a pretty important
visitor to Blaine.
919
00:57:02,332 --> 00:57:03,993
It's President McKinley!
920
00:57:06,970 --> 00:57:11,339
Good people of Blaine,
they told me my next stop was Wichita.
921
00:57:11,574 --> 00:57:14,042
But I said, "What about Blaine?"
922
00:57:16,412 --> 00:57:18,903
I guess I need a new travel agent.
923
00:57:21,651 --> 00:57:22,982
Mr. President...
924
00:57:23,086 --> 00:57:25,247
in honor of our visit...
925
00:57:25,755 --> 00:57:30,692
your visit to our town,
I present you humbly...
926
00:57:30,894 --> 00:57:33,658
with this fair key to our city.
927
00:57:33,730 --> 00:57:34,924
I do declare.
928
00:57:34,998 --> 00:57:38,661
I believe the key to the city is larger
than the city itself.
929
00:57:40,537 --> 00:57:41,970
Wait, Mr. President.
930
00:57:42,038 --> 00:57:43,437
What have we here?
931
00:57:43,506 --> 00:57:44,996
It's a footstool.
932
00:57:45,208 --> 00:57:46,539
I make them.
933
00:57:46,876 --> 00:57:49,470
Isn't that interesting. I'll take this back...
934
00:57:49,546 --> 00:57:52,606
to Washington with me
and every time I rest my feet...
935
00:57:52,782 --> 00:57:55,307
I’ll think of Blaine.
936
00:58:00,824 --> 00:58:05,158
We all know that politicians aren't
used to keeping their word.
937
00:58:05,295 --> 00:58:07,263
He's here.
938
00:58:07,931 --> 00:58:10,764
I told you he was going to come.
939
00:58:13,169 --> 00:58:16,627
Before you know it, everyone,
rich and poor alike...
940
00:58:16,806 --> 00:58:19,673
had to have a Blaine stool in their home.
941
00:58:19,976 --> 00:58:22,240
The little town never knew what hit it.
942
00:58:22,312 --> 00:58:26,976
Footstool factories sprouted up like,
like toadstools.
943
00:58:27,317 --> 00:58:28,978
Everyone had a good job.
944
00:58:29,152 --> 00:58:31,746
Everyone was making a good wage.
945
00:58:31,921 --> 00:58:34,549
Blaine was on the map.
946
00:58:47,437 --> 00:58:48,699
"By the pool
947
00:58:49,339 --> 00:58:51,899
"In the school
By the fires of Yule
948
00:58:52,175 --> 00:58:53,938
"It's the rule
949
00:58:54,077 --> 00:58:56,170
"There's a stool
There's a stool
950
00:58:56,279 --> 00:58:57,837
"Stools are where
951
00:58:58,181 --> 00:59:00,672
"Once upon a time you'd find a chair
952
00:59:00,783 --> 00:59:02,683
"A chair's for fools
953
00:59:02,852 --> 00:59:05,082
"Everybody wants stools
954
00:59:05,688 --> 00:59:07,679
"Stool boom
955
00:59:07,857 --> 00:59:10,223
"From the parlor to the pool room
956
00:59:11,294 --> 00:59:13,990
"In the center of a stool boom
957
00:59:14,163 --> 00:59:16,393
"Everyone knows our name
958
00:59:18,601 --> 00:59:19,966
"Working, building
959
00:59:20,103 --> 00:59:23,300
"Never stopping, never sleeping
Working, making
960
00:59:23,473 --> 00:59:26,340
"Some for selling, some for keeping
You will drool
961
00:59:27,110 --> 00:59:29,442
"At the splendor of these magic stools
962
00:59:29,812 --> 00:59:33,543
"It's the rule
Everyone has a stool
963
00:59:33,950 --> 00:59:34,939
"Just relax
964
00:59:35,852 --> 00:59:38,320
"It's a treat for which a monarch asks
965
00:59:38,755 --> 00:59:41,690
"Hawk your jewels
Use the money
966
00:59:41,758 --> 00:59:43,020
"For stools
967
00:59:43,493 --> 00:59:45,484
"Stool boom
968
00:59:45,561 --> 00:59:48,553
"Just relaxing
before the sales too
969
00:59:48,631 --> 00:59:51,623
"Like a fever
that you sleep through
970
00:59:51,701 --> 00:59:55,535
"And it's ready now
from Blaine
971
00:59:56,339 --> 00:59:57,738
"Working, building
972
00:59:57,907 --> 01:00:00,774
"Never stopping, never sleeping
Working, making
973
01:00:00,843 --> 01:00:02,743
"Some for selling, some for keeping
974
01:00:02,812 --> 01:00:06,680
"Working, building
Never stopping, never sleeping
975
01:00:06,749 --> 01:00:08,717
"Working, making
976
01:00:08,918 --> 01:00:13,878
"Some for selling
Some for keeping"
977
01:00:41,684 --> 01:00:44,050
I can't wait to see the second half.
978
01:00:44,187 --> 01:00:49,124
Allan, his dramatic work, I mean,
I knew he was funny and I knew he could...
979
01:00:49,292 --> 01:00:52,955
move, dance, cause he's that way, but...
980
01:00:53,129 --> 01:00:56,792
I think his dramatical work
is so moving that...
981
01:00:57,367 --> 01:01:02,304
I called Joyce and said, "Bring Joshy
'cause I must feed him half-time...
982
01:01:02,405 --> 01:01:03,997
"...because I'm just busting."
983
01:01:04,073 --> 01:01:08,476
This is good. They're dancing all over
the place and the songs are very catchy.
984
01:01:09,345 --> 01:01:12,508
Very catchy. I can't get a few of them
out of my head.
985
01:01:12,582 --> 01:01:17,212
Almost to an annoying point, but I think
it's good when a song is catchy...
986
01:01:17,420 --> 01:01:21,151
from the little experience I have
in show business.
987
01:01:21,324 --> 01:01:24,487
I knew that Corky could act,
direct and produce.
988
01:01:24,594 --> 01:01:27,427
But who knew that he was
going to act and sing and dance.
989
01:01:27,497 --> 01:01:32,628
He can do everything. Only one other
person in the world can do that...
990
01:01:32,702 --> 01:01:34,499
and that's Barbra Streisand.
991
01:01:34,570 --> 01:01:35,559
He is...
992
01:01:37,240 --> 01:01:38,639
I don't know...
993
01:01:38,775 --> 01:01:41,767
an inspiration to this town,
that's what he is.
994
01:01:42,445 --> 01:01:47,405
I'm glad to see that Johnny Savage
dropped out of the show because...
995
01:01:48,084 --> 01:01:51,679
two years ago he came in the store
and tried to steal my stamp machine...
996
01:01:51,754 --> 01:01:53,915
and that kid is no good.
997
01:01:54,023 --> 01:01:58,357
You can see from his parents. He wouldn't
have added anything to the show.
998
01:01:58,528 --> 01:02:01,520
Corky, on the other hand, look at him.
Did you see...
999
01:02:01,697 --> 01:02:03,756
God, I wish I was in this show!
1000
01:02:24,887 --> 01:02:26,718
I hear that French girls...
1001
01:02:26,989 --> 01:02:28,718
are very pretty.
1002
01:02:29,058 --> 01:02:31,356
That they wear the finest of clothes.
1003
01:02:31,828 --> 01:02:35,594
I also hear that they are experts
in the ways of love.
1004
01:02:36,699 --> 01:02:39,793
Ima, I'm going to fight for my country.
1005
01:02:40,002 --> 01:02:42,664
To fight and, yes, perhaps die...
1006
01:02:43,005 --> 01:02:46,099
so that young men
from here to Timbuktu...
1007
01:02:46,175 --> 01:02:49,804
can feel the wind of freedom blowing
through their hair.
1008
01:02:50,279 --> 01:02:52,975
Oh, Monty, I didn't mean to doubt you.
1009
01:02:54,317 --> 01:02:59,016
It's just sometimes I feel
as if I don't really know you.
1010
01:03:01,491 --> 01:03:03,482
I would still pay...
1011
01:03:06,829 --> 01:03:09,491
"A penny for your thoughts
1012
01:03:09,765 --> 01:03:12,632
"A dime for your dreams
1013
01:03:12,735 --> 01:03:15,727
"Would a shiny new quarter
1014
01:03:15,838 --> 01:03:19,103
"Buy a peek at your schemes
1015
01:03:19,342 --> 01:03:22,334
"And when you are away
1016
01:03:22,645 --> 01:03:25,614
"So far from my side
1017
01:03:25,781 --> 01:03:28,841
"I will cherish my penny's worth
1018
01:03:29,051 --> 01:03:32,452
"Till at last I'm your bride
1019
01:03:37,860 --> 01:03:40,727
"A penny for your thoughts
1020
01:03:40,863 --> 01:03:43,491
"Let's call it a deal
1021
01:03:43,866 --> 01:03:46,801
"I don't have any secrets
1022
01:03:47,236 --> 01:03:50,137
"You know how I feel"
1023
01:03:50,306 --> 01:03:51,933
That's it. Do it right there.
1024
01:03:52,008 --> 01:03:54,067
- Where?
- You know where I like the curl.
1025
01:03:54,143 --> 01:03:56,805
- I must get myself ready.
- There it is.
1026
01:03:56,913 --> 01:04:00,576
Nice. Now, a little fluff here
and you can work on yourself.
1027
01:04:00,716 --> 01:04:03,480
"A penny for your thoughts
1028
01:04:03,753 --> 01:04:06,483
"It's settled and done
1029
01:04:06,756 --> 01:04:09,623
"I'd have offered a million
1030
01:04:09,825 --> 01:04:13,124
"I'd have done it for none
1031
01:04:13,996 --> 01:04:16,988
"I reckon we're in love
1032
01:04:17,166 --> 01:04:20,033
"And married we'll be
1033
01:04:20,403 --> 01:04:23,304
"And all for a penny
1034
01:04:23,406 --> 01:04:26,102
"A bright copper penny
1035
01:04:26,676 --> 01:04:28,007
"A penny
1036
01:04:28,077 --> 01:04:30,238
"That brought you
1037
01:04:30,513 --> 01:04:32,777
"To me"
1038
01:05:04,146 --> 01:05:07,877
You were so good. I told you
you'd be able to memorize that.
1039
01:05:08,050 --> 01:05:08,948
You were right.
1040
01:05:09,018 --> 01:05:10,007
You lifted me up!
1041
01:05:10,820 --> 01:05:14,415
After our brave fighting boys returned
from the war...
1042
01:05:14,523 --> 01:05:16,684
things got back to normal in Blaine...
1043
01:05:16,926 --> 01:05:20,089
until one summer night in 1946...
1044
01:05:20,663 --> 01:05:23,029
when unexpected visitors...
1045
01:05:23,165 --> 01:05:25,463
put us back on the map.
1046
01:05:30,039 --> 01:05:32,166
- Where are we?
- How did we get here?
1047
01:05:32,241 --> 01:05:34,232
Is this a dream?
1048
01:05:37,880 --> 01:05:39,848
- Look!
- What is it?
1049
01:05:39,915 --> 01:05:43,214
It looks like one of them
new feed storage bins.
1050
01:05:43,319 --> 01:05:46,755
- That's no feed storage bin!
- How did it get here?
1051
01:05:46,822 --> 01:05:48,380
It must've flew!
1052
01:05:48,457 --> 01:05:50,288
But it don't have any wings.
1053
01:05:50,393 --> 01:05:52,224
I guess it just dropped...
1054
01:05:52,595 --> 01:05:54,392
from somewhere up there.
1055
01:05:54,664 --> 01:05:58,293
Citizens of Blaine, do not be alarmed.
1056
01:05:58,801 --> 01:06:00,530
We will not harm you.
1057
01:06:00,936 --> 01:06:04,702
We come in peacefrom a planet far, far away.
1058
01:06:04,874 --> 01:06:07,365
A place we call Mars.
1059
01:06:07,543 --> 01:06:09,875
- I've heard of Mars.
- Where's that?
1060
01:06:10,046 --> 01:06:13,675
Stand back and your querieswill be answered.
1061
01:06:15,818 --> 01:06:17,149
Look out!
1062
01:06:25,661 --> 01:06:27,595
What do you want from us?
1063
01:06:27,663 --> 01:06:32,566
Good question, Earthling.It seemed like it was time for a change.
1064
01:06:32,935 --> 01:06:34,493
Time to take a trip...
1065
01:06:34,837 --> 01:06:38,170
to see the exciting places in the galaxy.
1066
01:06:38,574 --> 01:06:39,836
For, you see...
1067
01:06:39,909 --> 01:06:42,844
"Nothing ever happens on Mars
1068
01:06:43,446 --> 01:06:47,109
"No sports or entertainmentNo swinging bars
1069
01:06:47,683 --> 01:06:51,016
"You stand aroundYou stand some more
1070
01:06:51,354 --> 01:06:55,450
"On the planet namedFor a Roman god of war
1071
01:06:55,725 --> 01:06:57,556
"Nothing ever happens
1072
01:06:57,626 --> 01:06:58,957
"On Mars
1073
01:06:59,562 --> 01:07:03,623
"No supersonic airplanesNo sporty cars
1074
01:07:03,866 --> 01:07:07,267
"The sun comes upThe sun goes down
1075
01:07:07,470 --> 01:07:11,531
"You can't go to the countryYou can't go to town
1076
01:07:11,874 --> 01:07:13,637
"Boring, boring
1077
01:07:13,709 --> 01:07:15,677
"Boring, boring
1078
01:07:15,878 --> 01:07:20,212
"Boring, boring, boring, boring"
1079
01:07:28,791 --> 01:07:32,852
The town of Blaine has packed a lot
in the last 150 years.
1080
01:07:33,429 --> 01:07:36,421
We've had our ups
and we've had our downs.
1081
01:07:36,699 --> 01:07:40,226
We've seen our past
and we look forward to the future.
1082
01:07:40,536 --> 01:07:44,438
When the challenges come, we'll greet
them the way Americans always do.
1083
01:07:44,673 --> 01:07:47,836
With grit, determination and pride.
1084
01:07:48,144 --> 01:07:49,941
Because that, my friends...
1085
01:07:50,212 --> 01:07:51,839
is America.
1086
01:07:51,914 --> 01:07:55,077
And nothing says America more to me...
1087
01:07:55,785 --> 01:07:57,719
than Blaine!
1088
01:09:09,558 --> 01:09:11,219
You're so brilliant.
1089
01:09:11,293 --> 01:09:13,488
Cliff, you're great. Everyone was so great.
1090
01:09:15,564 --> 01:09:17,225
- You did it!
- Thank you!
1091
01:09:18,133 --> 01:09:21,398
I'll get Mr. Guffman, I'll be right backstage.
1092
01:09:28,744 --> 01:09:30,735
Hello. How are you?
1093
01:09:31,013 --> 01:09:32,571
It's nice to meet you.
1094
01:09:32,982 --> 01:09:33,971
How do you do?
1095
01:09:34,049 --> 01:09:36,347
- Way to sock it to 'em!
- Thanks, Mr. Mayor.
1096
01:09:36,418 --> 01:09:38,943
They'll hear about this
at the Mayor's conference.
1097
01:09:40,256 --> 01:09:43,089
I know we've a lot of work to do.
The first act needs...
1098
01:09:43,526 --> 01:09:47,223
- It was magical.
- Thank you very much, Steve.
1099
01:09:48,531 --> 01:09:51,125
The first act, it's up and down.
1100
01:09:51,233 --> 01:09:54,964
I know that. We just don't have the time
to do everything.
1101
01:09:55,371 --> 01:09:59,034
I'll ask you point blank.
Do we have a shot to go to Broadway?
1102
01:09:59,775 --> 01:10:00,901
Yes, I think so.
1103
01:10:01,710 --> 01:10:04,577
Mamma mia! That is such good news!
1104
01:10:04,647 --> 01:10:06,911
I can't tell you what news that is to me.
1105
01:10:07,182 --> 01:10:09,650
- Would you like to meet the cast?
- I'd like that.
1106
01:10:09,718 --> 01:10:12,050
Great. Come on with me, you.
1107
01:10:19,028 --> 01:10:20,586
Everybody...
1108
01:10:28,337 --> 01:10:29,736
Our cast.
1109
01:10:29,805 --> 01:10:32,740
Oh, thank you. You're just great.
1110
01:10:36,478 --> 01:10:38,446
Please, introduce yourselves.
1111
01:10:39,548 --> 01:10:41,675
- Sheila Albertson.
- You were great.
1112
01:10:41,784 --> 01:10:45,618
- I was?
- Mrs. Ron Albertson. A joy to perform...
1113
01:10:45,688 --> 01:10:48,350
for someone who knows theater.
- This came two hours ago.
1114
01:10:48,424 --> 01:10:50,688
Sorry, I'm just now getting it to you.
1115
01:10:51,460 --> 01:10:54,588
Clifford Wooley. How are you?
Nice to meet you.
1116
01:10:55,764 --> 01:10:57,493
You make me laugh.
1117
01:10:57,700 --> 01:11:00,100
A delight to meet you, sir.
1118
01:11:00,502 --> 01:11:05,462
Well, I'm sure that Mr. Guffman
would like to say a few words to us.
1119
01:11:06,775 --> 01:11:08,936
Speech, speech, speech!
1120
01:11:10,245 --> 01:11:13,043
I think there's a mistake.
My name's Roy Loomis.
1121
01:11:13,148 --> 01:11:16,914
I'm down from Deming.
My niece had her first baby.
1122
01:11:17,252 --> 01:11:20,483
It's a boy. That's what the balloon is for.
1123
01:11:20,990 --> 01:11:22,719
I want to tell you how...
1124
01:11:23,058 --> 01:11:25,185
absolutely wonderful you all were.
1125
01:11:27,696 --> 01:11:31,029
Thank you, I'll be seeing you.
And bless you.
1126
01:11:31,266 --> 01:11:33,166
He's going to love this.
1127
01:11:33,535 --> 01:11:34,593
Oh, boy.
1128
01:11:43,245 --> 01:11:45,645
Take our make-up off.
1129
01:12:05,434 --> 01:12:07,163
"Snow storm in New York.
1130
01:12:07,936 --> 01:12:10,427
"All flights canceled.
1131
01:12:11,874 --> 01:12:13,364
"Mort Guffman."
1132
01:12:34,463 --> 01:12:38,456
I think the one really important thingthat I learned...
1133
01:12:39,435 --> 01:12:42,768
from my whole experience
in working with Corky...
1134
01:12:43,005 --> 01:12:44,734
is that I...
1135
01:12:45,040 --> 01:12:46,837
do indeed...
1136
01:12:47,209 --> 01:12:49,074
have talent.
1137
01:12:50,345 --> 01:12:53,143
And a couple of things actually.
1138
01:12:53,716 --> 01:12:54,808
B:
1139
01:12:55,150 --> 01:12:56,981
I have to...
1140
01:12:57,252 --> 01:12:59,812
entertain. I have to entertain.
1141
01:12:59,955 --> 01:13:03,015
And you have to go where...
1142
01:13:03,459 --> 01:13:06,758
you are needed.
You have to go where the crowds are.
1143
01:13:06,929 --> 01:13:09,796
And you have to go where...
1144
01:13:11,066 --> 01:13:14,126
the love is. And the love for me...
1145
01:13:14,970 --> 01:13:17,131
right now, is in Miami.
1146
01:13:17,840 --> 01:13:19,205
Not Blaine.
1147
01:13:19,708 --> 01:13:23,144
"My bubi made a kishka
She made it big and fat
1148
01:13:23,212 --> 01:13:24,941
"My zeida took one look at it
1149
01:13:25,013 --> 01:13:28,540
"And said 'I can't eat that'
Oh, Mama, Mama, Mama
1150
01:13:28,617 --> 01:13:31,108
"Oh, Mama, me oh my"
1151
01:13:32,755 --> 01:13:37,351
We're in the land of dreams, and don'tlet anybody say dreams can't come true.
1152
01:13:37,426 --> 01:13:41,362
We're an hour from the snow,
20 minutes from the ocean.
1153
01:13:41,463 --> 01:13:43,795
Two hours from the Mexico.
1154
01:13:44,366 --> 01:13:47,392
- Five hours from Vegas.
- We'll get there one of these days.
1155
01:13:47,469 --> 01:13:51,303
- Soon as we get a car.
- Who wants to add to the pollution?
1156
01:13:51,840 --> 01:13:53,501
We're bi-coastal...
1157
01:13:53,575 --> 01:13:56,942
if you consider the Mississippi River
one of the coasts.
1158
01:13:57,446 --> 01:13:59,471
Extras! Let's go, over here.
1159
01:13:59,681 --> 01:14:02,445
Time to get back to work.
That's what they pay us for.
1160
01:14:02,551 --> 01:14:04,712
Can't they even call us by name?
1161
01:14:04,853 --> 01:14:08,345
Why can't they say,
"Ron, Sheila, this way please."
1162
01:14:08,457 --> 01:14:13,053
Still the same paycheck. How're you?
You're doing a great job, incidentally.
1163
01:14:14,396 --> 01:14:16,261
- Smile.
- Are you going to smile?
1164
01:14:16,331 --> 01:14:18,265
I think we should have a line.
1165
01:14:18,333 --> 01:14:20,130
I gave him some suggestions...
1166
01:14:20,202 --> 01:14:22,830
- We should be line dancing.
- That's a great idea.
1167
01:14:22,905 --> 01:14:24,395
Quiet, please.
1168
01:14:25,607 --> 01:14:28,906
- Put your finger here. You smiling?
- Quiet, please.
1169
01:14:30,579 --> 01:14:35,016
I was on my way to New York,and then my dad got out of prison.
1170
01:14:35,717 --> 01:14:36,979
Which is good.
1171
01:14:38,020 --> 01:14:42,514
He should have been in there 10 years,
but since he didn't kill anybody...
1172
01:14:42,724 --> 01:14:43,952
he just...
1173
01:14:44,660 --> 01:14:46,389
ruined some property...
1174
01:14:46,628 --> 01:14:49,119
they let him out after five.
1175
01:14:49,231 --> 01:14:50,664
So it's...
1176
01:14:51,200 --> 01:14:52,724
I'm here with my dad.
1177
01:14:53,068 --> 01:14:54,296
And...
1178
01:14:57,072 --> 01:14:59,666
I've thought of ice cream
and what I can do with it.
1179
01:14:59,741 --> 01:15:03,575
Maybe come up with...
We have a Blizzard and a Breeze...
1180
01:15:04,413 --> 01:15:07,974
and the Derbies are really old.
1181
01:15:08,050 --> 01:15:11,019
They've been doing Derbies,
the chocolate dip, for...
1182
01:15:12,154 --> 01:15:14,315
I think, 20 years or something.
1183
01:15:15,123 --> 01:15:18,524
I really want to, sort of, make a healthy...
1184
01:15:18,894 --> 01:15:21,294
low-fat or non-fat...
1185
01:15:23,065 --> 01:15:24,293
healthy...
1186
01:15:26,768 --> 01:15:27,666
Blizzard.
1187
01:15:28,670 --> 01:15:30,570
The first thing I did...
1188
01:15:30,639 --> 01:15:33,130
when I moved back to New York City...
1189
01:15:33,642 --> 01:15:35,872
was to look up Mr. Guffman.
1190
01:15:36,411 --> 01:15:40,347
He was so sweet.
I think he felt a little guilty too...
1191
01:15:40,449 --> 01:15:45,113
because he's offered me the chance
to audition for his new Broadway show...
1192
01:15:45,187 --> 01:15:47,747
which is a revival of My Fair Lady.
1193
01:15:47,890 --> 01:15:50,154
It's one of my favorite shows of all time.
1194
01:15:50,759 --> 01:15:53,728
And the role is of Henry Higgins...
1195
01:15:53,829 --> 01:15:56,923
the somewhat stern taskmaster...
1196
01:15:56,999 --> 01:15:59,729
but "he-really-likes-her-anyway"
kind of guy...
1197
01:15:59,968 --> 01:16:04,598
who teaches Liza how to speak correctly.
She, of course, is of the...
1198
01:16:04,907 --> 01:16:09,503
Cockney persuasion and drops her "h's".
I've been working on that at home...
1199
01:16:09,578 --> 01:16:12,638
the whole Cockney thing
of "'Elo, 'ow are 'u?"
1200
01:16:13,148 --> 01:16:15,173
Do you want to go to 'artford?
1201
01:16:15,417 --> 01:16:18,477
Not live in this "'ell 'ole,"
that kind of thing.
1202
01:16:18,720 --> 01:16:21,450
I think I'm honing in on it pretty close now.
1203
01:16:21,990 --> 01:16:26,256
I suppose that the "cake and eat it too"
part of this whole story is that...
1204
01:16:26,361 --> 01:16:29,262
another dream of mine
has come true, which is that...
1205
01:16:29,331 --> 01:16:31,765
I’ve gotten to open this shop...
1206
01:16:31,934 --> 01:16:35,131
where I have all my
show business treasures...
1207
01:16:35,203 --> 01:16:37,228
and all my memorabilia.
1208
01:16:38,307 --> 01:16:40,366
This is one of my favorite items.
1209
01:16:41,910 --> 01:16:44,743
My Dinner With André Action Figures.
1210
01:16:45,514 --> 01:16:47,880
What you can do, which is so cute, is...
1211
01:16:48,150 --> 01:16:51,210
you can re-enact the whole scene.
1212
01:16:51,553 --> 01:16:52,952
You know, where...
1213
01:16:53,355 --> 01:16:56,347
the two guys talk to each other
and say, you know:
1214
01:16:57,092 --> 01:16:59,788
"Boy, I'm sure glad
you found a good restaurant.
1215
01:16:59,861 --> 01:17:03,558
"It's so hard these days to get in.
Who do you know?"
1216
01:17:03,732 --> 01:17:05,359
"I just called.
1217
01:17:05,567 --> 01:17:06,966
"Made a call.
1218
01:17:07,302 --> 01:17:08,963
"Spur of the moment."
1219
01:17:09,905 --> 01:17:12,373
"You can always get a reservation."
1220
01:17:13,475 --> 01:17:16,842
That's not from the movie,
but you can make up your own dialogue.
1221
01:17:16,912 --> 01:17:19,142
It's one of the great things
about action figures.
1222
01:17:20,382 --> 01:17:22,646
I'm trying to get, it's very rare...
1223
01:17:22,751 --> 01:17:26,209
the one, the action figures for Das Boot...
1224
01:17:26,588 --> 01:17:31,116
'cause I love to do that whole kind
of claustrophobic thing inside the sub...
1225
01:17:31,193 --> 01:17:33,093
where they're, you know...
1226
01:17:35,230 --> 01:17:36,561
That whole German thing.
1227
01:17:36,631 --> 01:17:39,623
I can't speak German,
but it sounds like, sort of a...
1228
01:17:40,235 --> 01:17:42,203
bunch of barnyard animals...
1229
01:17:42,270 --> 01:17:44,568
you know, making that noise
and sweating.
1230
01:17:46,641 --> 01:17:49,041
Over here, these are my Big Heads...
1231
01:17:49,211 --> 01:17:52,271
I call them. Starting with
Anthony Michael Hall.
1232
01:17:52,514 --> 01:17:54,175
One of the Brat Packers.
1233
01:17:54,816 --> 01:17:57,250
In fact, in the background there there's...
1234
01:17:57,853 --> 01:17:59,047
Andrew McCarthy.
1235
01:18:00,622 --> 01:18:02,613
Over here, some new lunchboxes...
1236
01:18:02,691 --> 01:18:06,593
we got in. The Remains of the Day
lunchbox. And the kids...
1237
01:18:06,695 --> 01:18:09,425
have such a good time with these.
1238
01:18:09,631 --> 01:18:14,432
Kids don't like eating lunch at school,
but with a Remains of the Day lunchbox...
1239
01:18:14,636 --> 01:18:15,796
they're happier.
97444
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