All language subtitles for The.White.Book.2001

When winter fell upon the city

my soul felt lonely and cold.

My life as if split into two parts:

one was bright and white

and the other was pitch dark.

My life is like a winter river:

it's not yet chained in ice,

but it's so cold that my
heart feels almost lifeless.

I started writing a new book.

It's a book about how I feel,

what I've experienced,

the thoughts that haunt me,

and the feelings that I go through.

I called it The White Book.

If you want something new
to happen in your life,

get rid of something old.

To do that, I thought,
I'll redecorate my room.

I like to redecorate.

Old wallpaper is like old
feelings and emotions.

From time to time you just
have to get rid of them.

The fresh white snow behind
the window inspires me.

The water in the pools makes
my heart feel clean again.

A lonely soul feels like a
bird sitting on a tree branch.

A lonely woman feels like a
tree that has been cut down,

waiting in piles to be
burnt in a furnace.

A cold wind is blowing in my ears.

I'm a lonely soul longing
for something new.

When this happens,
you feel as if you were reborn.

You're ready for the new feelings,
experiences, and something incredible.

He keeps calling me every day.

He says we should start
it again. Live together.

Forget everything. Start a new life.

You don't even need much for that.

All you need is someone close to you.
Someone I have waited for so long.

Someone I hoped to meet.

I tell him to forget everything.
I tell him not to call me anymore.

He doesn't understand.
He wants us back together again.

Every day is divided into two parts.

Spending time with her made me happy.

It filled the days I was living
through with joy and emotion.

I feel as if I live in
two parallel realities.

One is close to me and
I feel fine in it.

The other one is past and long gone.

As someone said,

"The past was past. Whatever it
has been, it was no more at hand".

I no longer want it to be at hand.

He says I'm stupid. That I don't know
life. That I will not manage myself.

He says without him I'm worthless
and incapable of anything.

Am I?

I just want to prove him wrong.

My new room interior
decorated in shades of grey

suddenly sparkled with
new vibrant colours.

The icy wind in my ears turned into
a sea breeze and seagull squeaking.

We talked about nothing.

I don't remember what I
said or what she replied.

Talking with her was like
touching blades of grass:

sharp, straight, dangerous.

But you can't hold
yourself and touch it.

Even though you know
you may cut yourself.

It was as if two trees stand
lonely in the wilderness

and suddenly start blooming.

They extend their
branches to the wind.

It is as if two brooks ran
merrily through the forest.

It is as if the dawn and the dusk have
met at the horizon, for an instance.

And now they are ready to part.

It's like an old book that
you opened many times before

and you know everything in it.

Then suddenly you find something new.

It feels like a book that
you would never open alone.

You only open it now because she's
next to you. And you are together.

As if the elegant grey colour of your
room suddenly became blue and hopeful.

It is like an old story you
heard many times before.

Now you pretend you hear
it for the first time.

I know my husband is
hurt and suffers a lot.

All we are doing now is trying to
find a way out, for each one of us.

It is like a lonely
person in a cold street,

hoping to find warmth and compassion.

If you feel like a lonely
bird on the cold snow,

it's hard to find a ray
of hope in your heart.

And strength to experience
the joy of life.

Any person is a very harmonious being.

Every person is self-substantial.

But somehow nobody knows
what we need for that.

To feel it in ourselves.
To enhance this feeling.

Any person is like a hidden book with
pages that have not been numbered.

So you never know how many
pages there are all in

all and what the next chapter
is going to be about.

His sister has never liked me.
When we got married

she was the one against everything.

She kept saying that I was
different, wrong choice for

the family. That I could not
live like normal people do.

Whatever happens,
he always goes to her.

She's the one to hear all his
stories and the first one to reply.

She never lets out a
chance to humiliate me.

At a certain time I even thought she
knew much more about me than I did.

Her personal life went
wrong. So she always

tries to express herself
in my personal life.

Her endless partners and an infinite
number of ex-es made her very bitter.

Imagine that you stand
deep in the forest.

There's nothing but
trees all around you.

Suddenly you start feeling as if
somebody was approaching you.

You don't quite understand what it is.

But you anticipate it
with all your heart.

This is what I experience
when I'm next to her.

At such moments you
feel totally naked.

And nothing constrains you.

My husband is a weak
person with no will.

His sister has immense influence on
him and everything he does.

At a moment like this you
feel as if your soul,

stained and worn, is suddenly
washed by a fresh shower.

And you don't quite know
where it comes from.

But you feel great
relief and alleviation.

The first drops of the shower
fill your soul with light.

The negative past experiences
keep stopping me.

I need to thank you for your time.

I start realizing that to be able
to see the new and beautiful

I just have to cast away whatever
has been haunting me for years.

To make the first step towards
whatever is new is extremely hard.

But the pouring rain that keeps
throbbing through my soul

just calls me to do so.

Have you ever ridden a bike on
an empty road absolutely naked?

As you ride, you don't
know when the road

will finish and where
it is taking you.

There is absolutely
nothing but my naked body

and the wind, wandering
past tree branches.

You can't see it, but you only feel
its freshness touching your body.

It feels as if you're
staying in a dark room.

There's no light,
but a few candles signal

you that there's still some hope left.

You find yourself in a state
when you can't call anyone,

you can't talk to anyone,
you can't complain.

There is only you who can help.

We may all be of different faiths.

But the colour of our
soul is always the same.

My soul feels chained
and keeps looking for

a way out between the
dark and the light.

But the darkness absorbs
all my endeavours

and the strife for life,
and the light.

And I don't quite know where to go.

In this darkness, it is very
difficult to find a way out.

To find the door leading to the light.

Finding it at last fills my
life with joy and with hope.

And then I make one step forward.

If prejudices become
an obstacle in your

life, get rid of them
in a most radical way.

Only when you free yourself entirely

from everything that
is old in your life,

will your life space and
withered flowers that used

to grow there start to get
the refreshing summer rain.

The space surrounding you
starts to breathe again.

The room gets more
light and more sense.

It feels as though drops of life are

getting through every
cell of your space.

The inanimate objects start to
move and this all is very unusual.

Whenever I look into
myself, and try to

understand why I am
feeling the way I am,

I always see myself
as if I was a monk,

or a priest, desperately
trying to find freedom.

I grew up in a Catholic family.

So many of the complexes and dogmas
were just hammered into my head.

The human being is like a tree.
Neither can live

without the roots that
would bring water and food.

Likewise, no woman can
live without love.

It is very hard to
first live in marriage

for a long time and then
see it break apart.

It is even harder to
see all those friends

and advisors trying to console you.

My husband has a close friend who's
been chasing me for along time.

He just wanted to fuck with me.

So naturally he was the
first one to smear my name.

I've never told my husband
about this storyline.

So if he had ever found out,
he would have definitely shot him down.

I would've shot him
down myself, but he was

too nasty to stain my
hands with his blood.

At the time of separation my
husband made a desperate attempt.

He decided to see every
single friend of ours on

his and my side, trying to
understand the reality.

One of my closest friends is a nun.

She lives alone, practices and
cherishes her solitary life.

Whenever I close my eyes,
I imagine her dead and

then reborn, wearing a
beautiful white dress.

Once she was married, too,
but she had the stamina to

get out of this marriage for
the sake of her inner self.

She never got married again,
but I heard that,

while in the monastery,
she did meet women.

And we, too, had a very short romance.

It is only with a man like you that
my friend Sophie could have lived

with for so long. I can't imagine
any other man standing near her.

You look well and smell nice.

There's something in you of a gay,
clean and well-groomed.

I know that no other man
would have interested Sophie.

An ordinary man would have been
too simple for her. And too rough.

So I know why she has chosen you.

Do you know we had an
affair and slept together?

I hope she never told you about us.

But don't worry. It was even
before you got married.

Sophie didn't know herself
that we would part,

and that our relations
were just starting.

I once hoped that it would be serious.

But Sophie did not like secret meetings
in the monastery, so she left.

Much time passed since then.
I left the monastery too and live alone.

I find myself much freer than
I ever used to feel before.

Every person needs quite a lot of time

to understand what
their preferences are.

But it didn't take Sophie long to

understand that religion
was not for her.

Thanks to her I followed her example.
And I no longer practice religion.

Do you know why all
my old friends are gay?

I thought about that myself
for a very long time.

Finally I know the answer.

First, they're sensual and can
easily be hurt. Just like me.

Second, we both look
for happiness and love.

But the toughest for you to understand
as a heterosexual man is that

they're not obsessed with the idea
of fucking me in a doggy style.

Do you know what it feels like to
be in the monastery and to suck

someone's dick every morning
even though you never want that?

It's a strange feeling to
suck one's dick while the

Bible is read and you're just
staring out of the window.

I listen to the words of God
and I can't stop thinking:

Does God really want me to do that?
Is this all He wanted me to do?

This is what I've lived
through myself and this is

what killed every wish of
staying in the monastery.

I thought a lot about this.

This is the main reason why
Sophie and I got so close.

So you've come to me to tell you
about Sophie. You've loved with her

for ten years and you don't understand
a single thing about who she is?

Now you come to me with all
your niceties and requests.

Remember the wedding day when
you came up to me silently and

told me to shut my fucken mouth
and stay out of your family.

So you thought you'd calmly
fuck her three times per

week and she'd just spread
her legs and wait for you?

Do you think she loved you because of
your beautiful blue eyes and bald head?

You're such an idiot
that you don't even know

that she married you only
because she was lonely.

Do you think she doesn't
know about all your lovers

that you fuck the way she
would never let you do that?

I think this is a very good
lesson for you and pricks

like you who just think they
can calmly fuck their wives.

Do you ever look into the mirror?
Do you think you're a woman's dream?

If she wanted, she could've had
every man like you, every day.

Sophie was my spiritual teacher.
I love so much.

And I can't see her suffering.

What she told me about life,
love, and freedom

gave me wings and made
me feel like a bird.

What she seeks in her life is
something high and pure, full of air.

This is not the mundane routine.
She has some light inside

herself that just tries to get through.
You won't understand that.

All you know about her is seeing her
naked in bed, sucking your dick.

You think all her life revolves
around your big round eggs?

Do you think it's the woman's dream
to clean your sperm off her face?

Every woman, besides her hole,
actually has got a soul, a

heart, and aspirations to
strive for something beautiful.

Do you think that pushing your prick

back and forth you'll
make a woman happy?

Trust me, this is not what
women think. And that's why

they're looking for something
different to be happy.

I think you're preoccupied
with your prick and

have obsessive thoughts
of where to push it.

I don't think you see
anything in my sister.

And now your marriage
is breaking apart.

I see by your eyes that you didn't

understand a single
thing of what I said.

But I don't care.

I just wanted you to
hear that. That's all.

There's a lot more I could tell you,
but I think it's just a waste of time.

Sorry, I need to go.
Sort your problems yourself.

I think that, if I ever met a man
like you, I wouldn't even notice him.

It's so boring. Bye.

They say that the bits of a broken
cup can still be glued together.

But looking at the bits
of my broken family life,

I somehow don't want to restore them.

They will never make a
cup what it used to be.

They will remain trash.
And trash just needs to be cleaned.

I see you're still suffering,
breaking up with this whore.

Don't you think a lesbian is not
the best choice for a family life?

I've always told you,
she's more interested in

sucking other vaginas and
boobs than your dick.

But true, only a lesbian can suck
one's dick, like she did yours.

I don't care about
your marriage at all.

What I'll miss are your
videos of you fucking her.

I always fear that my
wife might open my

cellphone and stumble upon
all those merry videos.

I'd have a hard time
explaining to her why I keep

masturbating on the
cellphone in the lavatory.

You know, I even feel
sorry for you. You look so pitiful.

You know why?
You'll never find a slut like her.

Hold on, bro.
Your sexual life is over.

Join the club. Now it's
not only me who's going to

watch the videos of her sucking
your dick, but you, too.

You haven't closed your Facebook
account yet, have you?

What if we create a closed group
there and post all your videos?

Of course, if only you're not afraid
to get a ban for spreading porn.

Sorry, it's a bad joke.
But I just wanted to say

something to you.
And I did not quite know what.

Quit smoking.
It's bad for your health.

I'm sorry, I need to go.
I'm really very, very sorry for you.

But you're a big boy.
You have to sort it out yourself.

Try to put up with that, man.
It's bad to be nervous in our age.

You might have a heart attack.

Collect yourself.
Put your hand into a fist.

Hold it tight until
you've forgotten her.

You can always phone me,
if you want. We're friends.

PART 3. THE FINALE

Freedom.

The last item of clothes
from our past is cast away.

The old body dies.
And the soul seeks for light.

Work isn't the best place to
talk about personal problems.

These are not personal
problems. It's a tragedy.

Have you heard,
my wife, is leaving me?

If I told you why she's left me,
you'd find it kinky.

Felix, don't be naïve.
Don't you think that no one

in the department knows that
your wife is a lesbian?

You'd better drink less vodka
at our corporate parties.

Then you'd have some idea
of what's happening.

You'd have some idea about
what's happening in other rooms

while you're sleeping
on a couch like a pig.

I'm sorry, I somehow witnessed
all those scenes accidentally.

But I never really wanted
you to know about them.

I never wanted to tell you.

I never thought it
could've gone so far.

Women do want to have some
time together. It's not bad.

I thought that, as a man, you know
about that and take it normally.

Do you think that you
can take 'normally' the

fact that your wife is
making sex to other women?

Making sex with a woman is not
that bad after all, you know.

I'd be glad to take
part in that myself.

You mean you're a lesbian too?

There are too many
lesbians around, you know.

And it's getting more
and more difficult.

Felix, you're too serious.

You can't speak about it with
such an expression on your face.

It's just sex.

You know, I can't take it in any
other way. It's too complicated.

Women take sex and marriage differently.
I think it's not about sex here;

it's rather a problem in
your personal relations.

For some reason, men think
that if they have a dick

up to their knees, their
marriage will be successful.

But women don't think this way.

Do you mean that you can have a
big success with a small dwarf?

Come on, let's not develop
the topic of sizes.

I'm unmarried, so arousing myself
will not lead to any good.

Have you tried going to a sex doctor?

I don't think there's
any problem in that.

But thanks for talking to me, anyway.

Sophie asked me to give
you the keys from her car.

She says she doesn't need it anymore.

Do you think I've come
to you to hear you

humiliate me saying that
I'm just a bag of shit?

Your cutie lesbie wife told you to
get out so you so you went to me?

I just wanted to tell you my story.

Are you a complete idiot? Are you coming
here just to tell me your sad stories?

All the world is breaking apart around me.
And you don't even want to hear me.

Hear you? Why should I listen to you?
You come to my place,

bring presents, and fuck me.
And that is enough!

I don't understand why you
keep talking about sex.

Can't we talk like normal people?

Are you normal? You're a pervert!
I've forgotten when we

had a vaginal sex last time.
All you do is have my ass!

Why do you want to talk 'normal' to me?
We've never talked 'normal' before!

I don't want to talk 'normal'.

If you've come, I can get
undressed and you can fuck me.

And that's it.
I don't want any sentiments.

Do you think sex is
all I want from you?

Please remind me when we've
last been to the theatre!

I think you spend much more time
at the pharmacy buying condoms.

The last time I remember us talk,
we were discussing condom varieties.

Strawberry condoms, blueberry condoms,
vanilla condoms, condoms with vibrators.

That's all. And now you've
come to talk about souls...

Don't make me laugh.

I'm not your wife.
Pick up your ass and get out.

Is this all I deserve?
Am I just a piece of shit?

I'll tell you more.
You're not just a piece of shit,

and not only a deceived
husband. You are NOTHING.

You're not even
interesting to me anymore.

I thought you would understand
me and would just listen to me.