All language subtitles for this is us

Subtitles by explosiveskull

Hello, welcome
to Can You Hear Me?

Your source for all things
Tucker Crowe.

If you're here, you're probably
already a fan of Tucker's music,

but if you're merely
Crowe-curious

or you clicked on the link
by accident,

allow me introduce you
to one of the most seminal

and yet unsung figures
of alternative rock.

Although Tucker started
writing songs in his early teens,

his real breakthrough
was the release

of the 1993 album Juliet.

It earned respectable
college radio play,

but was vastly underappreciated
by the mainstream.

On the list of Top Heartbreak
Albums on RollingStone.com

it comes only 43rd,

which is a joke.

Juliet, quite simply,
is a masterpiece.

Tucker wrote it after
a whirlwind love affair

with Julie Beatty,

a model and fixture
of the Los Angeles demimonde.

The termination
of their brief tryst

simultaneously inspired him
and crushed his soul.

In June of that same year,
1993,

Tucker played an engagement
at the Pit Club

in Minneapolis,
United States,

that would prove
to be his final show.

Last seen exiting the men's
toilets after his first set,

Tucker abruptly canceled
all future shows,

and has never performed
publicly again.

This snapshot,
taken in 2014,

is purported to be of Tucker on
his sheep farm in Pennsylvania,

although there is quite a lot of
debate as to its authenticity.

The true whereabouts
and creative endeavors

of Mr. Crowe
remain a mystery.

Be sure to click on the Mystery
link of the side of the page.

It's weird
to be writing this

to a complete stranger
I'll never meet.

And if we did meet,

would you see
what everybody else sees?

I may look like a nice,
well-adjusted English lady

in a sensible cardigan,

but these days
it's a thin veneer

and it's starting
to crack.

If you'd lived in Sandcliff
going on 40 years

you'd understand.

I fled once
to London's university,

where I studied
History of Art.

Best years of my life.

But I came back
when my dad got ill.

He ran the local
history museum

until he couldn't remember
his own name.

I've been running it
ever since

in a supposedly
temporary capacity.

- Hey, Annie.
- Morning. Hi.

Annie, sorry to bother you.
Is Ross still not in?

No, but I'll take care of it.

Thanks, Katie.

As my sister, Ros,
can attest...

- Hey.
- You all right?

Finding a likeminded partner
can be a challenge.

- What?
- Nothing.

- She's hot. Got a tight body.
- Yeah. Yeah.

So, when this bloke moves
to town 15 years ago

to guest lecture a course

on the American cinema
and the alienated male,

well, it was pretty cool.

I fell in love quickly.

Back then we'd jabber on about
movies and books and music.

He would actually listen.

- Yeah...
- Never get that gate.

Well, sometimes.

Now, his own obsessions
dominate my life.

And it's become clear
that all along,

he's been in love
with another man.

Not like that, but
in an equally consuming

and, quite frankly,
really bothersome way.

No, no, no. Didn't I send you
an article on this just last week?

He is the ringleader
of a community

of 200 middle-aged men

who gather together
to obsessively deconstruct

their hero's music and attempt
to crack his mysteries.

That's a really
interesting theory...

That's what I said.

...that I've heard
a thousand times.

Annie. Annie.

- This is Carly.
- Hi.

- Lovely to meet you.
- Lovely to meet you, too.

- Isn't she amazing?
- Yes.

- She's older than she looks.
- Welcome. Come in.

- Thank you.
- She's fit.

How'd you guys meet?

It's funny, actually.

Because I was just
walking down the street,

and then I just saw her face,
basically,

and I was just like wow,
I have to speak to that girl.

Then she was being funny about
giving me her phone number,

but I stole her phone,
put my number in

and we've just been texting.

Yeah, it just went from there,
I guess.

- Cake's delicious, by the way.
- Thank you.

I still can't believe
these are edible.

Oh, yeah. Marzipan.

My boyfriend, he's a baker.

- Ex-boyfriend.
- My ex. Sorry, my ex.

Yeah, he's not going
to believe this.

So, do you guys have kids?

Oh, no, they're against
Duncan's religion.

- Ros, she's joking.
- She's not, actually.

Annie and I decided a long,
long time ago,

that babies weren't our jam.

- Oh!
- Sorry, I was just...

The important thing is,
we're happy where we are.

I mean, who wants to bring kids
into this bloody world?

- Fuck kids.
- You know?

Right?

- Fuck them.
- Every aspect of civilization

has gone to the dogs,

with the notable exception
of TV.

TV is good.

Yeah. People watch it,
don't they.

I guess my point is,
I just don't think

that the world needs more kids.

- I think we get it.
- Yeah.

Ros says you're into
some really old rock musician.

What's his name again?
Tucker Crowey?

Tucker Crowe, actually.

Never heard of him.
What's he about?

Where do I start?

You're going to be here hours.

Let me play you some stuff.

Please, don't bore her
with the slideshow.

Was Juliet
his girlfriend?

It was just Julie, actually.

Let me introduce you.
Come over here.

- You ready?
- Yeah.

- That's him.
- Wow, he's so gorgeous.

Thank you.

What the fuck is that?

Remember the shark that washed
up on the beach that summer?

- Yeah.
- Someone saved the eye.

Why?

Oh! Look at that.

Oh, it's really intriguing.

Mm, it is, isn't it.

Is this all you
have for the exhibition?

Just some sad,
old snapshots?

Look at how they're posed.

I wonder what happened
to them.

I think it's really poignant.

A very poignant moment.

I wonder if they did the murder

before or after
they went to the beach.

Ros, shut up.

These are the pawns.

They're like the soldiers.

They move like this.
One space forward only.

So how do you get
to be the king?

How, indeed.

Even David Simon himself
resisted the label "Dickensian".

Sure, there are detailed
depictions

of every strata of society,

but no kindly uncle
is going to drop by

to let them know
that Wallace has fallen

into an unforeseen fortune.

The good are not rewarded
on the streets.

Moral clarity exists not.

As we jump into season two,

I've created
a glossary of terms,

because some of you have
complained, nay, whinged,

about the complexity
of the lexicon.

Hopefully,
this should help you out.

"Five-O".

The police, or polis.

"Shorty".

Attractive female,
or alternately,

a half-pint of liquor.

Hi. Sorry, excuse me.

I just wanted to ask you
a couple of questions

about that whole
"Greek tragedy paradigm" thing.

Oh, you know, my office hours
are actually on a Monday.

- We can discuss it then, maybe.
- Oh, right. Yes. Sorry.

I'm not actually
a student.

I...

I just started teaching.

So I've been sitting in
on different classes,

trying to see how
the professionals do it.

- Oh, well, welcome.
- Thank you.

- Gina.
- Duncan.

Hi.

So, that Greek tragedy thing...?

Right. Yeah...

I guess my point
was that these characters,

they're already bound
to their fate.

- Like Antigone.
- Wow.

Or Medea.

So I have to read Antigone
to understand The Wire?

Not strictly speaking,
but it wouldn't hurt.

"Thought you'd want
to hear this.

Original demo recording
from a certain album

of particular
interest to you."

Shit.

So I just came up
with my own class.

Body, Drama and Catharsis.

It's essentially healing
through movement.

- Dance therapy.
- No, not dance.

- Oh?
- Movement.

Oh, completely different.

Completely different.

I don't know
what I was thinking.

No, I love dance.

I'm a dancer,
and I'm still a dancer.

But... okay, I'm going to sound
like a wanker,

but I'm going
to say it anyway.

I believe in the power of art.

I believe that creativity
can change people's lives.

That's fucking refreshing.

I just... I hope you haven't
come to the wrong place.

- Why?
- The next Bob Dylan

could be playing up there,

these people wouldn't look up
from their fucking sudoku.

Shit.

Hey. Sorry I'm late.

I had a faculty meeting.

- Oh, I see you've cooked.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I was just reheating
the ziti from last night.

Or I was trying to, I know.
That was terrible, that pan.

Why aren't you wearing
any clothes?

It was so weird.
I bought this dress online,

and then this went off,
so I came down here.

But...

You're acting
very strangely.

- Am I?
- Yeah.

- Have you got a man up there?
- Oh, I wish.

- What are you listening to?
- Huh?

- No, no, hold on, don't tell me.
- I think it's...

Is that the Radio Tokyo tapes?

Yeah?

Did he play "Twentieth Call
of the Day" on the recording?

I don't know if he...

- No, don't stop it.
- What? I don't...

No, don't turn it down.
Let me guess.

No, no, no, let me explain,

because I don't want you
to get upset.

Sorry, just shut up.
I want to guess.

It's nothing.

I mean, obviously it's
"Twentieth Call of the Day",

but from what?

I can't place it.

Hmm. Okay, okay, I give up.
What is it?

It's called Juliet, Naked.

There's no album
called Juliet, Naked.

I guess someone unearthed
the demos from Juliet,

and then they sent it to you
in a package with a note.

This is from Lucas
at the label.

It's addressed to me,
but you've opened it.

I always open your post,

otherwise it sits there for
weeks unopened.

And then you went
and listened to it!

- I'm sorry.
- You listened to it before me?

- I apologize. I just...
- You played it?

- Oh, Annie, you...
- Oh, Duncan!

That... I need to listen to this
on my own.

- It stinks of betrayal in here.
- I'm very sorry.

I didn't mean to upset you.

Ah...

You fucker. You fucker.

Bastards.

Who uses D batteries?

Why do we never
have any batteries?

I buy batteries.
Bloody millions of them!

But you use them,

and God forbid you replace
the batteries!

Stop saying batteries!

Oh, my God,
I've got batteries.

Jesus.

There.

Hello.

I'm sorry.

I was so petty.

So stupid.

What does it matter
who hears it first?

I'm really sorry, too.

I... I feel terrible.

I should have warned you
that it was so dreary.

I didn't say anything.

- Dreary?
- Yeah.

I mean, I suppose
it's interesting

if you've heard the finished
version, but...

What did you think?

- What did I think?
- Yeah.

I think it's a bloody
masterpiece, Annie.

- Dreary?
- You can't be serious.

Oh, what else is dreary
according to you?

The Sopranos? Hamlet?

Jeez Louise.

This is history, Annie.
I'm going to write it.

It is not history,
it's boring versions of songs

that you've heard
a million times before.

Oh, my God,
you think that's what this is?

This is big for me,
that this has happened.

And I just don't want
to spend my time

in the aftermath
of this new information

with someone
who doesn't get it.

I want to spend it
with people who do.

Morning.

Hey.

Things are pretty wild
on the forum this morning.

157 comments.

Do you want tea?

Hmm? Did you say something?

The response to my review
has been incredible.

If I don't send the guys
some files soon,

they're going to murder me.

Oh, 158.

Oh, somebody new.

This is a long one.

"Relic Master" they go by.

They claim to have
already heard the album.

I doubt that.

Let's see what they...

"Juliet, Naked
is naked all right.

A naked attempt to squeeze
a few more quid

out of a long-dead career."

Sounds like you and he
would get along swimmingly.

She.

No, I seriously doubt
it's a woman.

We don't get a lot
of lady visitors.

Well, it is.

Okay.

I see.

What are you going to do?
Are you going to ban me?

Or block me because I disagree
with you?

That's against site rules.

Everybody's entitled
to their opinion.

However wrong you are.

As long as you're civil
you can write any old shit.

Oh, thank you so much.

Oh, Annie.

What?

You just told me that I was
entitled to my opinion.

But, "listless", "enervated"?

"Flaccid"?

I'm going to out a bullet
in my fucking mouth

if I have to talk about
Tucker Crowe any more today.

It doesn't make any sense.

How could these sketches
for songs

be considered better than
the finished product, right?

Exactly.

How could leaving something
half-formed

be better than
if you worked on it

until it was the completed thing
that it was meant to be?

Agreed.

Eighteen other people
agree with me, too.

Look, look, see.

"Well said, @RelicMaster."

- Wow, look at that.
- Right? Right?

Because I made the point
very clearly,

and without any bullying
or any smugness.

Shit. The mayor's here.

I don't get it.

This is not
what we talked about.

Well, my thinking was that we'd
tell the story of the summer

through normal people.

So, I mean, for instance,
look at this image.

Like, the emotional narrative...

You think people
want to pay money

to see other people's
snapshots?

- No...
- Jesus Christ, let her finish.

She's got a whole bloody concept
planned out

- if you just listen to her.
- Ros, it's okay.

Let me explain it clearer.

This is what gets people
talking.

- What, a shark's eye?
- Your dad loved this stuff.

He knew what the people
of Sandcliff wanted to see.

Yeah, and in case
you've forgotten,

Annie was by his side
the whole time.

Ros, it's okay.
I can handle it.

No, I'm sorry,
but if it wasn't for her

then this whole place
would be boarded up.

This is not what it was
supposed to be.

Summer of '64. Heat wave.
Rock concerts.

The fire at the bingo.

Do you know I've got
the original poster

for the Rolling Stones concert
at the ABC

with their autographs?

That's what I'm talking about,
you see?

All right,
only Bill Wyman signed it,

but that's what people
want to see...

"Bingo. You nailed it.

I couldn't have explained it
better myself.

All good things,
Tucker Crowe.

P.S., the folks
on that website,

they seem pretty weird,

so I'd be grateful if you
didn't pass on the address.

Thanks."

Annie?

Huh?

- Yup, got it.
- Good.

Good.

It isn't really you, is it?

So, what about hot dogs?

Well, I like hot dogs
and you like hot dogs,

but I don't think Lizzie
likes hot dogs.

I've forgotten
who Lizzie is again.

Come on, man.
She's your sister.

Yeah, but why is she my sister?

Because you've got the same dad,
that's why.

- You're her dad, too?
- Yup.

Like you're Cooper
and Jesse's dad?

Bingo.

So, who's her mom this time?

Her mom is Natalie.

Natalie from the school
nurse's office?

She's so nice.

No, Natalie from London,
England.

Lizzie grew up in London,

and now she's going to college
here somewhere upstate.

But why wouldn't she like
hot dogs?

Well, I don't know.
Some people, you know,

they think it's wrong
to eat meat...

Yes, it is really me.

Although, I can't think
of a real way

of proving it to you.

How about this...

I didn't see the face of God
in a Minneapolis toilet bowl.

I haven't been secretly making
R&B albums with Lauryn Hill.

I don't have 200 hours' worth
of material locked in a shed,

contrary to what your friends
on the website may think.

In fact, my guitar hasn't been
out of its case for years.

I currently live
in the garage

behind the house where my son
Jackson lives with my ex.

Can you take this
to your mom?

- What's this?
- It's a check.

- Where'd you get it?
- I earned it.

But you don't do anything.

It's for something I did
a long time ago.

- What are you gonna buy with it?
- Nothing, man.

Just take it, will you?
Thank you.

Jackson's mom has been
letting me stay here rent-free

for the past few years.

So, I guess I owe her a lot.

- Hey, babe.
- And, understandably,

I irritate her.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Have fun.

The point is, if I wasn't me,

I'd have made myself
sound a lot more appealing.

So, yeah, it's me.

Tell me about you.

What's your story?

Thanks for sharing,
but I think I've had enough

Tucker bloody Crowe
to last 20 lifetimes.

Shit.

Fuck it.

Dear Tucker,
as long as we're putting

our least attractive foot
forward,

I am writing this
from my office

under the watchful eye
of a pickled dead shark.

It's the centerpiece
of a show I'm curating

about the summer of '64.

A summer where nothing much
happened, really,

except the beaching of
the aforementioned dead shark.

On the plus side,
the show is a good excuse

to hire my unemployable sister.

God, another one already?
She's married, right?

Yeah, but she reached out
to me on Facebook.

You know,
she said we should catch up.

And you took that
as a romantic overture?

Yeah. For your information,

we actually ended up
snogging in the pub,

and she loved it.

I just...
I don't know,

when we drove home
she got all weird.

Yeah, probably
because of her husband.

Yeah, but you should see
her posts.

It's all like her
and Gary and the baby,

and they're all smiling.

Nothing screams
"repressed lesbian"

like having a husband
and two kids, does it?

I don't know if you're right
about that.

I thought I could just put it
all in an email,

but then I just thought maybe
I'd do like a handwritten note,

because it's more personal,
isn't it?

So I thought I could just put
it in her letterbox later,

- don't you think?
- Are you serious?

- Yeah.
- Don't do that.

Maybe I should go
fish it out.

- Did you do it already?
- Yeah.

Fuck, you're a moron. One second!

Why are you attracted
to these situations?

What is wrong with you?

Come in!

- Ready to look through these?
- Yeah.

You say the truth
about you is disappointing.

At least you have a past
to live up to.

Should I put orange here?

It's your call, man.

What do you think?

Yeah, maybe.

Some creative remnants
that prove you existed.

Anyway...

if you want to see some
old shark parts, just shout.

That's about all
I have to offer right now.

Yours truly...

Best regards...

Best wishes...

Annie.

Tucker?

Lizzie. Hey.

- Hi.
- How was your trip?

On time.

This is Jackson.

- Hi, Jackson.
- Hi, Lizzie.

I'm your brother.

Half-brother, actually.

So, you've changed.

Since I was nine.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Can I...

can I take your bags?

Well, hey...

You want to... yes, great.
Here you go, buddy.

Yeah, hop up front there.

You want a coffee?
You want a...?

Nope, I'm good.

You're good?
Yeah, I'm good, too.

Whoo!

Lizzie...

Yeah?

Are you coming for Christmas?

Buddy,
she just got here this time.

Just be glad
she's here now.

Jesse and Cooper
are coming at Christmas.

We don't know that
Cooper and Jesse are coming.

- They might come.
- I don't know.

Who are Jesse and Cooper?

They're my brothers.

They're twins.

Cat had kids from before?

No, no, they're mine.

From Carrie?

Yeah, sorry, I...

They're 12, you know?

I just... I thought...

I thought you knew.

What's two more?

Yeah! Right?

Parenting, you know.

Sometimes I think
I could use a manual.

Hmm, for tips such as,

"Always tell your kids
they have siblings"?

Yeah. It sounds obvious
when you say it, but...

I, um...

I tracked down Grace,
by the way.

Who's Grace?

Why would you do that?

Hi, Mom.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Hey. Welcome.

Nice to finally meet you.

Can I take your coat?

You look beautiful.

Thanks.

Recently, my past
has been catching up with me

in surprising ways.

I just found out
I'm going to be a grandfather.

And, I'm ashamed to say,
my first thought was "fuck!"

I can't be that old.

But I did the math,
and I am.

Naturally,
I lost some years

to copious drugs
and alcohol consumption.

And 14 years of Law & Order.

It's a good show.

You know, I look
at my beautiful daughter

and realize that two decades

have slipped through
my fingers.

So, who's the dad?

His name's Zak.
He lives in my dorm.

He's a musician...

and a big fan.

Well, do you think he's going
to help support the baby?

You mean because
he's a musician?

Yeah.

This one's a good person.

Oh, well, that's a relief.

And, you guys,
are you married?

Oh, well, we were.

Well, never officially.

Yeah, it was official.

- Was it?
- Yeah.

Maybe. I don't know.

We're not together anymore.

- But you run the farm together?
- What farm?

I thought this was
a sheep farm.

It's not a farm.

I mean, I grow some tomatoes,
but, yeah.

Where'd you hear that?

Some weird fan site.

Hmm. What else did they say?

They say you've been holed up
in a music studio,

plotting your comeback.

By studio, do you mean
the old garage

where he sleeps and eats
and watches TV?

Takes care of Jackson.

You should write a letter to the
editor correcting the record.

That way your children
might get

some accurate information
about you.

I'm going back to London
next week.

- I'm having the baby there.
- You're having a baby?

Mm-hmm.

You're going to be an uncle.

Cool, huh?

You mention
your two missing decades.

I myself have a hunch

I've wasted the last 15 years
of my life.

A lot of great shows coming up.
Oh, look at that.

Jupiter Moon are playing
Minehead the 3rd of September.

I must put it in the diary,
to fucking miss it.

Oh, God.

And I'm not sure
what to do about it.

Although, given your history,

it doesn't sound like
you're in a position to advise.

Is it normal for granddads
also to be dads?

Of course.
By definition,

a granddad
has to be a dad first, right?

You couldn't be a granddad
without also being a dad.

Impossible.

Yeah, but none of the other kids
at school

have dads who are also
granddads.

You realize that just because
I'm a granddad

doesn't mean I'm old, right?

I mean, I'm going to live
a long time.

You're going to have kids
of your own,

ex-wives of your own long before
I kick the bucket, all right?

Lean back, I'm going to rinse
your hair.

What to do if you've
wasted 15 years of your life?

All right, first off,

you have to whittle
that number down.

Subtract all the time spent
reading good books,

having enjoyable conversations
and sleeping,

because those
are important things.

And you should be able to bring
that squandered time

down to more like 10,
and anything under a decade

you're allowed to write off
for tax purposes.

That's a joke.

Yeah, I'm still pretty sick
about what I've lost.

But I only admit it
to myself late at night,

which is probably why
I'm not a great sleeper.

I hope this helps.

Sorry. But, still,
maybe it'd be useful

to know more the specifics
of your situation.

- Do you really want to...
- Annie!

Do you really want
to know the specifics?

You sure you're good
with the salad?

Yeah.

Easy on the olive oil.

You just want to drizzle it.

My boyfriend and I
are child-free.

A conscious decision we made,
rather smugly,

thinking parenthood
would be a miserable trap

we'd cleverly avoid.

But there's more to it
than that.

My dad died
when Ros was only 12,

and we'd already lost our mom.

So it was just the two of us.

By the time my boyfriend and I
moved in together,

I'd had my share
of parenting.

Or so I thought.

Now, with irritating
predictability,

I've started aching
for a child,

for all the usual reasons,

like wanting to feel
unconditional love,

as opposed to faint,
conditional affection.

Hurry up, Annie!

Don't dare put
truffle oil on mine.

Yeah, I'm coming.

Drizzle it.

I fantasize about things
like being able to sit up

with my teenage daughter
late at night

and help her work through

her first terrible
sexual experience.

Does that sound demented?

Last year I tried
to bring up

the whole baby thing again
to my boyfriend,

and let's just say
he shut it down.

I've sometimes wondered
what would happen

if I just decided
to blow up my whole life

and have a kid on my own.

But then reality hits me
and suddenly I realize,

who the fuck am I kidding?
I can't do that.

- Bridget has a kid on her own.
- Case in point.

She's the most depressing person
on the planet.

I'm sorry about that ache.

I wish I knew
the thing to say.

I don't imagine this
is much of a consolation,

but I've brought a lot of kids
into the world,

and most of them
are just reminders

of how I've blown it
in that department.

Sometimes my life looks like
an endless streak

of staring responsibility
directly in the eye,

and then running
the other way.

Hey.

So, if the spirit
ever moves you...

Hey, how do you even know
about Grace?

You let it slip to Mom
back when you were in love

and X-ing or something.

Look, I realize it's an
unforgivable chapter of my life,

but I'm hoping not to be judged
by that alone, okay?

- Okay.
- We're heading out. Let's go.

Just trying to do a better job,
you know?

I mean, that shouldn't
be too hard, you know?

- You...
- Yeah.

You going to take care
of yourself,

and do what the doctor
tells you,

and eat your prenatal vitamins
and all that?

- Yes.
- Okay, then, give me a hug.

Okay.

Lizzie...

Yeah?

...thank you for coming.

I wish it was more fun.

It's all right.

Bye, Tucker.

Bye.

Is it weird to say I'm
jealous of your selfish impulses?

Somehow, every time I face
an irresponsible desire,

fear convinces me
to stay put.

I keep thinking
at some point,

there'll be a reward
for being so sensible.

Duncan?

Can I have a word?

What did I do?

- Oh, no, nothing.
- Oh.

It's just,
I read your blog.

Someone's looking
for extra credit.

You have quite a thing
for Tucker Crowe.

Guilty.

Television has always
been my mistress,

but Tucker is really my...

- Your wife?
- It's a flawed analogy.

Then I spent the whole night

trying to find somewhere
to stream Juliet, Naked.

- Oh, she's elusive.
- Oh, she is.

- Let me tell you straight...
- Oh, God, there's my bus.

- Sorry.
- Oh, no...

Gina!

"We're in Trouble".

What?

The name of this song:
"We're in Trouble".

It's really odd to be
saying all this to a stranger,

or whatever it is you are,
Tucker.

I've just read
through this thread

and I've realized
I've been sharing thoughts

I've never said aloud
to anybody.

That's not a good sign, is it?

I mean, maybe it is,
but I've told my boyfriend

nothing of our little
email affair.

It's like I'm dabbling
in betrayal.

Shit.
Please delete that last email.

I don't know
where that came from.

"Betrayal"?

That's so dramatic. Ignore.

Sorry. Too late.

I opened it.

I read it.

And I loved it.

And by "met" I presume
we're talking

about more
than just meeting.

Yes.

A bit more than that.

You slept with her.

- Who is she?
- Oh, you wouldn't know her.

Who are you sleeping with?

You know,
I wouldn't use

the present continuous,
personally.

I think that "Who have you slept
with" is a fairer question.

Even better, "With whom did this
possibly one-off incident...?"

Oh, my God, Duncan!
Just shut up and tell me!

Gina is the lady's...

she's junior faculty...

She's a colleague from work.

- She's...
- Of course.

Don't tell me, what,
it just happened?

Not really.

We just kind of clicked,
I guess.

I actually had played her
Juliet, Naked,

- and she really responded...
- Stop, stop, stop.

Why are you telling me this?

Because you asked.

And I thought it best
to be honest.

Oh, you did?

And if I'm honest...

I feel better.

I think that you would feel
exactly the same in my shoes.

I would never just be honest
about cheating

to make myself
feel better.

Okay, and then how would I know
if you had cheated?

I wouldn't do it
in the first place.

Lamb bhuna and a chicken korma.

Mine is the lamb.

Enjoy.

I've really messed up,
haven't I?

That's what I thought.

Can I ask...

do you think there's any way
back for me?

Because, right now,
I think that's how I'm leaning.

Oh...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Annie, easy.

We don't need to do it all
straightaway.

I know, I'm not going
to tear them.

God. Fuck.

I mean, this just makes it
feel so real.

It is real, Duncan.

I know.

I'm just saying, there's a lot
of history in this room.

It feels like we're being
very hasty.

Plus, it's raining out.

You know this stuff
can't get wet.

- You have Simon's car.
- Yeah, but then

there's the walk
from here to the car.

I mean, cardboard, water...

I don't have the right boxes
for it.

I don't.

Can we just do it soon, please?

I got it. Got it.

I don't have
the fingernails.

Just keep it. Just keep it.
Keep it.

Okay, fine.
Don't hug back.

This is obviously
the moment.

For what?

To finally get the hell
out of here.

- Right.
- What? Why not?

Nothing. No, it's nothing.
I was just, you know...

I've got the museum
and the house, and you're here,

and I'm not just going to...

I'm not just an excuse, Annie.

I can look after myself.

I'm not 12 anymore.

Care to dance?

- Oh, sorry, love, I'm a lesbian.
- No, you're not.

That's what birds say when they
don't want to take me home.

Can't speak for the rest,
but I was gay before you danced.

What about you?
Do you like men?

Yeah, some men.

- Noted. Moving on.
- All right.

- Well, that was rude, wasn't it?
- How was that rude?

Imagine those moves in the sack.
Wow, he's very flexible.

- You need a proper shag, don't you?
- Is that so?

- Well, well. That explains it.
- What?

You already fancy someone,
don't you?

- No.
- Come on, cough it up.

- Who is it?
- It's nobody. It's just...

well, I did...
I met someone on the Internet.

I love it. The Internet.

God, you're finally entering
the modern age.

Which site was it?
One for clever people, no doubt.

HornierStories.com?

Duncan's website.

Another Tucker Crowe loser?

Oh, Jesus, Annie,
are you mental?

No, it's weirder
than that.

It's actually
Tucker Crowe.

- No, it's not.
- I'm not kidding.

Tucker Crowe.

As in, Duncan's idol
Tucker Crowe.

Yes. What happened was
he read that review I posted.

- This is that syndrome.
- What syndrome?

Where someone falls in love
with their captor.

We're never...
you know, we're just pen pals.

We were pen pals.

I don't know what
you're supposed to call it.

We were just having...
emailing back and forth.

Yeah, I don't know.

Oh, look at that.

Go on, Annie. Dance with him.
Have some fun.

- I really don't want to.
- I'm Barnsey.

Hi, Barnsey. I'm Annie.

- Come on, Annie.
- It looks pretty complicated.

- Come on, I'll teach you.
- Go on, Annie.

- It wouldn't hurt to move a bit.
- Exactly, come on.

- Something like that.
- You fucking kidding me?

- Okay? Come on.
- I'm not doing that.

Big news.

I'm coming to London.

Let's go, Jackson!

The baby came five weeks early,

so now it's official:
I'm a grandpa.

And, given the precariousness
of it all,

I've decided
that I should be there.

To Kennedy airport, my man.

I scrounged up enough money
from those demos

for Jackson to come too.

So, we're going
to be in London tomorrow.

Which leads me to ask this:
are we fine as we are,

or would you like to meet
for a drink?

Oh, my God,
what a crazy coincidence.

I was actually planning
to pop over to London tomorrow

to see an old friend.

So, this is actually
fortuitous timing, actually.

Why not say we'll meet
at the Tate Modern at 5:00.

My mobile number's below.

Uh, call, text anytime.

And congratulations, Grandpa.

- You okay?
- Yeah. Are you?

- You got Steve?
- Yeah.

Careful, because they drive
on the wrong side.

They could run you over.

- Do you feel jet-lagged?
- No.

You're okay?
All right, good.

May I help you?

- Shit.
- Dad!

Dad! Dad!

Hello?

Hi, it's Tucker.

I'm dying to hear
your excuse.

Well, it's...
it's pretty good.

Um...

- I had a heart attack.
- What?

Mm-hm.
Well, it was mild, but, um...

it was enough.

Are you serious?

Are you okay?
What can I do?

I was hoping to lure you
to University College Hospital,

cardiology wing?

Of course.

Yeah, of course.

Just...

Oh, sorry.

Can I get you anything?

No, yeah. I don't need anything.
Maybe something to read.

No problem. Is Jackson okay?
Is he there with you?

Oh, no, no. He's fine.
He's doing good.

Thanks for asking.

Hello?

Oh, hi.

Hi.

You must be Annie.

- Come on in.
- Yes.

- I would stand up, but...
- No, please.

Oh, my goodness.

How are you?

Hey.

Sorry, I'm blanking.

This is much easier
in writing.

Well, I would say that we could
take out our phones, you know,

and write each other,

but the Internet here
is terrible.

I got you...

See, I knew I shouldn't
have said that.

It's nothing, honestly.

- No, it's... thank you.
- No, no. Not at all.

Yeah, it's about a transatlantic
epistolary friendship.

Not to put too fine a point
on it.

I think I saw this movie.

It's not nearly as good
as the memoir.

But, obviously, no pressure
to read it, of course.

Pressure's a choice, right?

- Thank you.
- How are you feeling? How do you feel?

Um...

I had an angioplasty.

Wow, what's an angioplasty?

They stick balloons into you
and blow them up.

Wow, balloons.

- That sounds really crazy.
- Jackson, this is Annie.

- Hey. Nice to meet you, Jackson.
- Hi, Annie.

- Nice to meet you, too.
- Oh, no.

Just need to change
your catheter, Mr. Crowe.

Where does that go?

Shall we...
shall we get a snack?

- That'd be great, thank you.
- Why don't we go for a walk?

Okay, we'll be back.

So, how was your trip
over here?

- Did you watch anything?
- Dora.

Oh.

Do bumpy plane rides
give people heart attacks?

Um...

Yeah, I think they could
probably contribute, actually.

Hmm...
probably what happened.

Your dad probably
just got a bit nervous.

But then wouldn't more people
get heart attacks on planes?

Yeah, that's a good point.

Yeah.

You want a bite?

Sure. Thanks.

So, he's in the NICU, huh?

How much does he weigh?

Last night, he was like
2.2 pounds or something.

- Wow.
- Kilos, Zak.

- Otherwise, he'd be dead.
- Okay, that's better.

And how about you?
How are you feeling?

Fine.

How are you feeling?

I'm okay.

- Hey.
- Hey, little man.

- Lizzie, Zak.
- Hey, Annie,

I want you to meet my daughter,
Lizzie.

Lizzie, this is Annie.
And Annie, this is Zak.

This is the man of the hour.
The father.

Oh, it's nice to meet you.

Congratulations
on your little boy.

- Is he okay?
- His name's Dexter

and he's doing good.

He's 2.2 kilos.

Annie's my friend from England.

We were supposed
to hook up yesterday,

but then that didn't go so well.

- We don't even know each other...
- Well, we know each other.

We met on a website.

- A website?
- Not that kind of website.

Yeah, not like...

- it was a music forum.
- Wow.

I'm actually going to head off.
It was lovely to meet you.

- Hey, Annie, please don't go.
- I hope your boy is doing good.

- I want to talk...
- Cooper! Jesse!

Cooper? Jesse?
What are you guys doing here?

These are my sons,
Cooper and Jessie.

Come here, guys.
Give it in for your dad.

Give me a hug, man.
Look at you. You're so tall.

Wow. Man, check you out.

Man, you're handsome.
Hey, guess what.

This is your sister, Lizzie.

- This is Cooper and Jessie.
- Half-sister.

- Yeah, I know. Half-sister.
- Hi.

Cooper's the tall one.
Jessie is the also tall one.

So, how'd you guys find me?
How'd you get here?

Hey.

- How'd you guys get here?
- We flew.

- Plane.
- I called Carrie.

You called Carrie?

- No.
- We thought you were gonna die

and you might want to see your
children, whom I've never met.

Even if I was going to die...

- I'm going to slip away.
- Two seconds.

I want to talk to you.
Oh, my God. Wait...

- What is going on?
- Don't go.

Hi, Carrie.
Apparently I'm going to make it.

The doctor said
I was brilliant

for having a heart attack
in a hospital.

All this way and you're fine?

Yeah, I'm sorry
to disappoint you.

- $10,000. Perfect.
- What does that mean, $10,000?

They weren't gonna fly coach to
see their biological father die.

Anyway, we're fine,
thanks for asking.

You didn't give me two seconds,
all right?

How are you? How's...

- What's your stepdad's name?
- Doug.

- Thank you. How's Doug?
- He's great.

- He's training for a triathlon.
- Oh!

Sorry, I know, exercise,
big trigger for you.

It's not a trigger,
it's just who does that?

- There he is. Tucker.
- Oh. Hey.

Didn't get off
to the best of starts,

have you, Tucker?
Hello, darling.

And it's pretty ripe
in here, Tucker.

Are you due a sponge bath?

Natalie,
this is my friend Annie.

Annie, this is my ex,
Natalie and Mark.

And, Natalie, you and Carrie,
you two have met, right?

- Yeah, fuck. Right.
- How do you do?

Oh, come off it, Natalie.

I also called Grace.

What's going on with you?

- Lizzie, what...?
- Who's Grace?

Your daughter.
This has gone on long enough.

- What's gone on long enough?
- You pretending we don't exist.

I'm not pretending
you don't exist.

I came all the way over here
to see you.

- That's unclear.
- What does that mean?

Honestly, I can vouch for him.
Nothing to do with...

It was complete coincidence.

- Even so.
- What do you mean?

- I flew 3,500 miles to see you.
- Oh, look at him bean-counting.

- He did that with the divorce.
- Bean-counting?

- I'm explaining the reason...
- Dad!

- Jackson, please, stop...
- He's quite the martyr.

He's taking time out
of his busy schedule

to meet his grandson
for the first time.

I'm not being a martyr, okay?

I'm just trying
to point out the fact

that I flew all this way
to see you

and meet the baby, okay?

- We're around your hospital bed.
- I had a heart attack.

- You think I planned that?
- Maybe. Subconsciously.

- Dad!
- I've had three heart attacks,

- and I didn't plan any.
- You had three?

And didn't make
a song and dance about them.

I'm not making
a song and dance.

Frankly, I didn't invite
any of you in here, okay?

See, that is exactly
what I'm talking about.

- Come on, don't be so sensitive.
- Like we're this inconvenience.

- Like you hate us all.
- I don't hate you.

That's not what I'm saying.
Come on, I'm under siege here.

If you really cared about us,

you'd want us to know
our siblings, for example.

What am I supposed to do,
have a picnic?

At least check in
like a normal father.

Yeah, well, this is not...
Stop it, Jackson.

This is not a normal situation,
for Christ's sake.

- Dad!
- Jackson, stop it, okay?

Jackson, I'm sorry.

The doctor said
you need to rest.

Okay. Hey, Zak, come on.
Hey, buddy.

Zak, play that song
that you were talking...

- My song?
- Don't do it, Zak.

He is really just trying
to change the subject.

- I really want to hear it.
- He doesn't care.

- I'm begging you.
- You'll make a fool of yourself.

No, dude, play the song.

You all right?

It's pretty crazy
in there, huh?

Whose mom are you again?

I'm nobody's mom.

- It was nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.

- Bye, Annie.
- Bye.

Hello?

Thank you for picking up.

- Okay, I owe you an apology.
- No.

It was silly of me
to have come.

I don't know
what I was thinking.

No, it was kind of you to come.

- Oh...
- Look...

one of the big problems
with screwing up

the first half of your life is,
you know, try as you might,

you can't press reset,
you know?

I mean, I...

I can't get to zero,
you know?

And I was just wondering
if you would...

If we could try this
one more time again tomorrow?

Are they still there,
your ex-girlfriends?

- They were very nice.
- No, no, everybody's gone.

- Hey.
- Everybody except Jackson,

says Jackson.

Here he is.
He wants to talk to you.

Hi, Annie.
I found out what a catheter is.

You know, the truth is, I was...

I was secretly hoping
that maybe you would

invite Jackson and me
to Sandcliff.

- Sandcliff? Jesus, why?
- Sandcliff.

Because we looked it up
on the Internet,

and it looked great.

Like a great place to recover,
you know?

And, look, I blew it yesterday,
you know?

- I want to make it up to you.
- By inviting yourself over?

That's what I was thinking.

What about your family?

Well, the boys
went to the airport.

They're flying home, right?

And Lizzie's, you know,
getting some much-needed rest.

I just don't think I'm equipped
to look after you.

I wouldn't know how
to give you an angioplasty,

or whatever it is
with the balloons.

- Angioplasty?
- If, God forbid, something...

That's a little forward,
don't you think?

Sorry, that did sound
vaguely inappropriate.

But you know what I mean,
and it's just...

I don't know if it'd be fun
for Jackson, really,

to be honest,
it's not such a fun place.

Well, you still have
that shark's eye?

- What? Yeah.
- Yeah.

Well, that's a happy afternoon
right there.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

You have a shark's eye?

Would that interest you?

Yeah, I love sharks.
Look at my bag.

Waterloo station, Jackson.

Most famous spot
in all of London.

- Really?
- For real.

I mean, if you're a Kinks fan.

Are we almost there?

Because I really need to pee.

Here, Jackson. It's just...
it's just in here, my dear.

Just up here.

There you go, buddy.

Okay, I'll leave it to you.

Can you stay?

Yeah. Sure.

Could you close the door?

- Everything okay?
- Yeah.

Yeah, all good in here.

Don't forget to wash your hands,
buddy.

Show her what we're made of.

Wow, this place is nice.

Yeah.

Beautiful spot.

Oh, uh...

Tucker, are you...?

Tucker, you're not downstairs,
are you?

Because I...

I must explain this.

Oh, God. I'm sorry.
I've...

I can explain this.

"Maxwell's, '89,

Bar Astro-Dusseldorf".

Did I play at Dusseldorf?

It's not what it looks like.
I can explain.

That's me and my high school
chess club.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I can explain this to you.
I know this looks weird.

Remember the review
on the website?

And the guy... it was a really
over-the-top review,

and you called him
like a sad-sack blogger.

- Oh, Duncan-something?
- Yes! God.

Oh, my God, if he knew
that you knew his name...

So, that guy is the guy.

- Oh, that's your 15 years of...
- Yes!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Bingo.
That's it. That's it.

And this is his room...
shrine...

temple where he lives
and worships you.

Wow. Me and him.

- Yes.
- Together forever.

The reason I heard of you
is because of him.

So, what better way
to get back at your ex than...?

No, no.

...get me back here,

parade me around Sandcliff
like a trophy, right?

I'm feeling a little cheap.
I'm feeling a little used.

- I am.
- That's an interesting theory.

And I appreciate
why you would think that.

But it was your idea
to come here in the first place.

- That's true.
- Yeah.

I don't feel this way
about you at all.

I've been down here like twice
in the last five years.

I'm not trying to trap you

or, like cut your head off,
or whatever.

I can't be
at the phone right now,

so just leave a message.

Duncan, it's me.
Can you call me, please?

It's very important.

Call me back.

Oh, shit.

- Uh-oh, shit.
- What's up?

Annie's down at the beach.

Shit.

Yeah, she saw me.
I better go down.

If I blank her
she'll be devastated.

I'll be right back, okay?

Annie!

Shit.

Annie!

- Hey.
- Did you get my message?

I've been trying to call you.
I need to tell you something.

- I wanted to chat to...
- How've you been?

- Good.
- You look...

I wanted to tell you
something...

- You look well.
- I really needed to talk to you

about something,
that's why I was reaching out.

I've taken up
exercising.

FitBit. Started with jogging...

Do you remember that review
I wrote?

Oh...

Yeah.

- I overreacted, Annie.
- No.

- Not my finest hour.
- A couple of days after that.

- It was the strangest thing...
- You weren't totally wrong,

by the way.

There was a lot of negativity
in what you said,

but there was things
that were...

"Twentieth Call of the Day"
is maudlin.

- I realize that.
- Doesn't matter.

The strangest sequence
of events started after that.

Who's this?
You have a man with you, Annie.

I've been trying to tell you,
what I want to talk about.

- It's fine.
- That's him. It was so strange.

Hi there.
Lovely day for the beach.

- Fuck!
- What? Everything all right?

- Yeah. I just...
- You're a friend of Annie's?

Yeah.

Making some sandcastles
with your little boy?

- This is Duncan.
- It was bound to happen. Fine.

- We were going to run in...
- Gina's here, so...

- This is Duncan.
- Duncan Thomson.

Tucker Crowe.

That's what I was trying
to tell you.

I'm Stevie fucking Wonder.

- Let's take it easy.
- Who do you want to be?

Eartha fucking Kitt?
We're all somebody.

- Hey.
- Just take it easy.

- Real mature.
- I was trying to tell you.

Well, Gina's waiting,
so I better...

I was trying to explain
it to you before you were...

- Gina!
- I was...

- Wow!
- I was trying to...

If she wants to make a sad
spectacle of herself around town

by hanging out with some guy
old enough to be her father,

that's her business.

But mocking me by dragging
Tucker into it

is just embarrassing.

She was obviously just trying
to wind you up.

I know for a fact
that there is no son.

There were rumors of a daughter
with a Swedish princess

or potentially her cousin,

but there's zero online chatter
of a son.

- Did it look like Tucker Crowe?
- No.

God no.

Not entirely.

Fuck.

I'm going to have a shower.

Shit!

"Tumors the size of an
apple or an egg or a pest-boil.

Thus did the plague rage in
Avignon for six or eight weeks,

and the breath of the sick,
who expectorated blood..."

- I'm not sure about this.
- Come on.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

Are you enjoying it?

"It was not till towards
the close of the plague

that they ventured to open,
by incision,

these hard and dry boils.

When matter flowed from them..."

I think that's enough.

- What are boils?
- It's a type of pimple...

Hey, buddy, don't worry
about boils, okay?

Out by the couch we got a wet
bag with some seashells in it,

and then we get the paints
and we'll paint them.

- Sound good?
- Fine.

I'm so sorry.

I really don't have anything,
like, fun for kids in the house.

You're great with him.

What about just having one
by yourself?

I wouldn't know where to start.

I think you could figure out
where to start.

Yeah.

Mr. Family Planner.

Yeah, you probably shouldn't
take advice from me.

Can I ask you,
what's the deal with Grace?

What do you mean?

Why does her name bother you
and the others don't?

It doesn't bother me.

I...

I've never even met her.

How's that possible?

Well, there's something there.

- You're ducking the question.
- No, no, no, I'm not.

There's someone behind you,
out the window.

Oh, my God.

Would you like to come in?

Yes, please.

Hello again.

Hey, there.

There is a possibility that
maybe I owe you an apology.

Well, when will you know
for sure?

It occurs to me
that there's no reason

for you to claim that you are...

he if you were not...

he.

- Well, that's a start.
- It's just...

I can't be certain,
you know?

Well, I have a passport.

Well, that would be super.

Okay, um...

America.

Really?

Yes, well, all of this seems
to be in order.

- Oh, thank God.
- Duncan...

That sounded... that sounded
a little officious.

Why don't you come
and join us for dinner?

- Yeah, man. Join us.
- Hang out.

Yeah. Yeah.
I'd like that.

Great.

So, for instance,
I'm developing a course

on 1970's independent
American cinema,

and the novels
of Nathanael West.

The Day of the Locust,
Miss Lonelyhearts. I love that.

That's right. Yeah.

So, what brings you to England,
young man?

My sister had a baby.

Oh!

Well, congratulations, Unc.

- Any other sisters or brothers?
- Duncan.

- It's fine. It's fine.
- What?

- It's okay. Tell him.
- Three.

Or do I have four?

I have four, right?

They don't live with me.
They have different moms.

And not one of them is a member
of the Swedish royal family.

Yeah, no. I was...

I was skeptical about that
particular theory.

The exhibition's
coming along nicely.

- That's great.
- Yeah.

- You nervous?
- A little bit.

I'm sure Annie's told you,

but I am a great admirer
of your work, so...

- Cool.
- Opening's Tuesday night.

- You're all invited.
- I don't think that I would be

overstating the case to suggest

that I am something
of a world expert.

A world expert?

I've read your stuff.
It's...

Okay.

Wow.

You can tell me
where I've gone wrong.

I wouldn't know
where to start.

I understand why you'd say that,

but I do actually know
quite a lot about you.

Really? Wow. Okay.

- Let me think of something.
- You know what?

You don't have to give
an example...

I know, for example,

that on the chorus
of "Lies You Breathe",

that entire chorus was lifted

from an answering machine
message left for Julie

by her ex-boyfriend,
Michael Posey.

I don't remember those lyrics,
so I don't know.

It was during
your "honeymoon phase" of...

You don't have to sing.
He's just a fan.

- He's harmless, I promise you.
- It's just, Michael Posey.

- How would you...?
- Is it still raw?

Is what still raw?

The whole affair,
Julie Beatty.

Duncan, just stop.
Come on, that's too personal.

- Just a long time ago.
- It's too personal.

- Is it? Okay, I'm sorry.
- Yeah, that's too far.

- I'm sorry. You're right.
- Too far.

I know the whole thing
left you shattered.

And I just want you to know
that from that death

was born a seminal masterwork.

Oh, God, a masterwork?

I don't use that word lightly,
sir.

All right,
I was being really nice, okay?

But it's clear
that you don't know shit.

- I'm sorry.
- You have to agree to disagree.

Hey, am a I fan?
Guilty as charged.

- Yeah, okay.
- Okay, yes.

Am I a little overzealous
in my quest for the truth?

Listen, man, if you can't
realize that Juliet

is a piece of shit...

- Don't say that.
- Yeah, it is.

You don't mean that.

You don't have any relationship
to the truth.

I'm not the only one who thinks
that you are a genius.

- A genius...
- Fine.

Maybe my review of your demos
wasn't exactly correct,

but that original album, Tucker?

Do you have any idea
how much that touches us?

How much that has meant to me
my whole life?

- The honesty in your words...
- Would you stop!

It's not worth the effort.

It is to me.

I'm going to go.
I'm going to...

This feels like a mistake.

Just one final thing.

I think that people like you,
people with real talent,

you don't value it because
it comes naturally to you.

And we never value things
that we...

that come easily.

But I value that album more than
maybe anything I've ever heard.

Not because it's perfect,

but because of
what it means to me.

Ultimately, I don't give a shit
what it means to you.

Art isn't for the artist

no more than water
is for the bloody plumber.

But, thank you.

I really, really enjoyed it.

Last time I played a show
I didn't even finish it.

I was at this club
called The Pit,

and in between sets
I went to the bathroom.

And then my ex walks in
the door.

Julie.

She's holding this baby.

And I...

and I acted all confused,

as if, after we broke up,
a million people hadn't called

and told me that
she was pregnant, you know?

As if her brother
hadn't cursed me out

the day the child was born.

But she... she held out
this little girl

and said, you know,
"Don't you want to look at her?"

Grace?

Yeah.

Grace.

And I looked at her.

And then Julie said something,
you know, that I didn't hear.

Like, she said...
she said something to me

about the baby bottle,

or she forgot her bag
or something.

I thought that she was
abandoning the child with me.

You know?
And I just panicked.

And I wanted to follow
after her, but I...

I didn't think that I could walk
out of this club with this baby.

There's all these people
out there.

So, I...

I set Grace down.

And then I walked out.

I went into the parking lot,

and I could hear
everybody calling for me,

but I...

I didn't go back.

And then I couldn't play any of
those songs anymore, you know?

After that, I just...

I couldn't play these insipid,
self-pitying songs

about Julie
breaking my heart.

You know,
they were a joke.

And before I know it,
a couple of decades have gone by

and some doctor hands me...

hands me Jackson.

I hold him, you know,
and I look at him.

And I know that this boy...

is my last chance.

That's a lot of pressure

for one little guy.

All the rest of them
hate me so much.

- They don't hate you.
- Yeah, they do.

- Yeah, they do.
- They're mad at you.

They're angry.
There's a difference.

Do you know what I would do
for a couple of angry kids?

- Uh, is this Grace?
- Speaking.

This is Tucker Crowe.

Okay.

And this is regarding...?

Well, I think Lizzie
tracked you down, right?

Who?

My other daughter, Lizzie.

Listen, I'm at work.

Is there a reason
for this call?

I'm sorry, did you not get a
call from a person named Lizzie?

I did.

Oh.

Listen, I'm sorry for calling
you out of the blue but...

Look, as I said to her,
I have a father already.

Oh. Okay.
Yeah, right.

No, I understand.

It's just, when you say that,
do you mean...

Do you mean biologically, or...?

I'm not sure of the distinction
you're making.

Yeah. Right.

Yeah. Right. Right.

Whatever it is you're trying
to work out, good luck.

But it's just not going
to involve me.

Yes.

Absolutely.
I understand.

Thank you.

This exhibit
was Mayor Barton's idea.

Yeah, my concept, yeah.

And I donated
the Stones poster.

- Wow.
- Only Bill Wyman signed it.

The others refused.

Mick and Keith walked straight
past me.

Bloody musicians.

- Yeah, bloody musicians.
- They were probably stoned.

Tucker's actually
a bloody musician.

I'm retired.

He's actually quite a big deal.

In small circles.

Have I heard of you?

- Tucker Crowe.
- Tucker Crowe?

- You have heard of him?
- No. Never.

But nonetheless,
it's an honor to meet you.

What are you drinking,
Tucker Crowe? I'll get you one.

Don't worry, I'm fine.
A glass of water.

I'm not getting a famous
American star a glass of water.

- Red or white?
- Look, I'm not famous, okay?

And I'm an alcoholic.

Well, you'll fit right in.
I bet you'd love a beer.

I bet you'd murder a cold beer.
I'll get you one.

- I'm going to get you a water.
- Appreciate it.

No, no, no, this is incredible.

Annie, can I borrow you
for a second?

Are you okay?

Mm-hmm.

Hey, Annie.

Edna, I want you
to meet Annie.

And Annie,
I want you to meet Edna.

Oh, my goodness,
is that really you?

- Yes, that's me.
- Wow, I love this photo so much.

- That's wild.
- That's my sister, Kathleen.

- She's passed on now.
- Sorry.

And the two fellas,

we'd met them earlier on
in the summer.

There's George. Mm.

He was a fast worker.
He wanted a bit of fun.

I wish I did too,
but I fought him off.

I thought, Edna, you can never
go wrong not doing something.

It's things that you do
that get you into trouble.

Here I am, 84 years old,

I've never been in trouble
in my whole bloody life.

Goddamn it.

Oh, well.

It's a lovely exhibition.

Thanks.

Tucker, I was...
Oh, don't worry.

- It's silly.
- What is it? What?

I was wondering
if you would be...

if you'd be interested?

What do you mean...?

I'm sorry. In me.

In you? In you?
What... how?

Oh, I mean, I suppose...

sexually.

What do you mean?
Like, here? Like right now?

Oh, no, no. I meant...

...in the future, later.

What? Yes, definitely.
I'm extremely interested.

Great, because I just wanted to
broach the subject with you...

I mean, for the record,

I would have probably been
a little more assertive.

My confidence has taken a hit,
you know, with the heart.

Like, I'm not exactly sure...

I don't want to be presumptuous,

but I did look up that side
of things on the Internet.

- You did?
- Yeah.

What did it say?

Do you get breathless going up
the stairs?

- Not at all.
- I think the thing is,

is I have to do
most of the work.

Oh, that's the way
I've always done it.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we're going to take a break

from the prerecorded portion
of our musical journey

back to 1964.

Fortunately,
we have with us today

one of the most famous
American recording artists

from that era.

He's come to Sandcliff

especially to visit
our exhibition,

and he's an alcoholic.

- Join the club, mate.
- I'm so sorry.

- I didn't put him up to this.
- A very great honor.

Terry, this is really...
Tucker's not playing tonight.

Well, you see,
the jukebox has conked out.

Terry, this is not
what Tucker's here for.

It's a great, great honor

to introduce the multiple
Grammy Award-winning...

No, he's not...

...member of the
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Tucker Crew!

Tucker Crowe, actually.

I am so sorry.

You don't have to do this,
by the way.

I didn't put him up to it.
I'm so sorry.

Is this on?

Uh...

Wow.

Yeah.

For those that care,
I haven't won any Grammys

and I'm not in the Hall of Fame,
but I'll accept the...

I was in Waterloo Station the
other day with a friend of mine,

and it made me think
of a song I love.

Hey, I didn't write it,
but I wish that I did.

Wow, I'm nervous.

Daddy?

Daddy?

Daddy?

Daddy?

Buddy, come on. Time for bed.

I threw up on the couch.

Okay, hold... hold on. Hold on.

Oh, no.

- Oh, you poor little thing.
- Okay, okay, what is it?

Oh, jeez.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go.
Let's go.

I'm so sorry.
What happened?

Why don't you just...?

Are you okay?

- Here you are.
- Thanks.

A clever cup of tea,
as my Dad would to say.

Nice.

Why is it clever?

Because it can cure
anything.

If you got a headache,
it goes straight to your head.

If you got a stomachache,
goes straight to your stomach.

What if you have
a heart attack?

Goes straight
to your heart.

When are we going home?

Soon.

Can I call Mom?

You don't even
think it's worth a try?

It's not like that, it's...
I really want to.

You're breaking my heart.

What were we even doing?

We're just getting started.

Jackson has to
be with his mother,

- you have to be with Jackson.
- Yeah, I know, I know.

It's been a wonderful
fantasy, but you're leaving here

and everything's going to go
back to the way it was

before you were here,
except shittier.

The best
episode, I think, is 155.

- Mm-hmm?
- Goku. Vegeta.

It's a really good show.

- Is it a cartoon?
- Yeah.

Me and my dad watch it
all the time.

I don't watch it
that much.

What happened?

Zak split.

He freaked out.

Oh, sweetheart.

Come here.

I'm so sorry.

That didn't take long,
did it.

I hate musicians.

Give me this little guy.

- He's pretty handsome.
- Yeah.

Look at
the little hands.

- Hey, Lizzie.
- Hi, Annie.

Congratulations.

Oh, my goodness,
he's gorgeous.

Thanks.

Do you want to come in
for a while?

No, I'm okay.
I'm going to head off.

But thanks.

Bye, Annie.

You forgot your bag.

And your turtle.

Bye.

I'm going to leave you to it.

Are you sure?

Thanks for coming...
Granddad.

She's over there.
That one there.

I don't see her.

The one with the cute hair.
Over there.

- See the one with the...
- I don't...

The one there.

- Oh, right. Of course.
- Yeah.

- How could I miss her?
- Cute, isn't she?

- Maybe don't stare.
- Sorry. She's really cute.

Can you believe
she asked me out?

It's actually amazing,
isn't it?

- She's...
- 100% confirmed, yeah.

She's a gold star,
if you know what I mean.

I don't know what you mean.

- I know.
- Hey, Ros.

- Oh, hi, Duncan.
- Hey.

What a nice surprise.

Annie, listen to what
they're playing.

Daddy loved this one.
Do you remember?

Do you mind
if I sit down?

I heard about the job
in Bristol. Excited about it?

I decided I'm not going to go,
actually.

What? It's a proper university,
finally.

Yeah, I've decided that...

I want to have kids.

- Oh.
- With you.

- Duncan...
- I want lots of them.

...you can't be serious,
you don't even like children.

- You think they're boring.
- Well, I've never met my own.

I bet they'll be far more
interesting than other people's.

- We broke up for a reason.
- A stupid reason.

Come on, a stupid reason.
A silly reason. Bad reason.

You slept with somebody else

because she had the correct
response to an album.

Which was stupid.
This is exactly what I'm saying.

This was silly.

I've been pushing my ridiculous
shit on you for years.

You like what you like.
It's very important to you.

That makes you who you are.
It's okay.

I can be someone else.

You sure this doesn't
have something to do

with your idol coming along
and fancying me a little bit?

No, God!

That's hurtful.

Maybe a bit, maybe a bit.

Okay, I don't know.

He opened my eyes.

But now my opened eyes
are looking at you.

I want you to be happy.

I am ready for us
to be grownups together.

Isn't that what you want?

I don't want that anymore.

I don't.

I'm sorry. I don't.

Dear Tucker...

I did receive your emails.

Congratulations
on getting your own place.

I'm so sorry that I haven't
replied sooner.

I've just...
I've been dealing

with some really big
life decisions.

I moved to London,

where I'm house-sitting
for a friend of a friend,

and I landed a job
at a cool, little gallery.

Somehow, the world
just suddenly feels

alive with possibility.

I've also been
seriously considering

having a baby on my own.

Last week,
I finally gathered the nerve

to go to a clinic
and actually start the process.

It's mental, right?

Anyway, nothing's for certain,

but whatever happens
I feel I'll be all right.

I can't believe Lizzie's boy
is already a year old.

She must be thrilled
you're coming to visit.

If you'd like to steal away
for a cup of coffee,

it'd be great to see you
and catch up.

I'd actually love that.

Hello.

Apologies for
my prolonged absence.

I have been working through
the news at hand

and formulating an opinion

with the care and judiciousness
I believe the moment calls for.

I'm speaking, of course,
of the fact

that Tucker has a new album.

It's called So Where Was I?

It's his first release
of new material in 25 years.

What is my verdict?

Well, to quote another critic:

"What is this shite?"

We have a song
about the pleasures

of reading
in the afternoon.

We have a song about
homegrown green beans.

There's a little ditty
expounding the joys

of being a stepfather.

I mean, in short,
we have a tragedy.

And there's a drum machine.

There's a drum machine
on a Tucker Crowe album.

I mean, what the fuck?

You may ask, as I did,

what caused Tucker
to produce this cloying,

bloodless, catastrophe?

Well, reportedly,
Tucker has found love.

And I am here to tell you,
my friends,

it doesn't suit him.

Subtitles by explosiveskull