subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for look_whos_talking_now_english_2736238

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch Download

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian Download

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:23,550 --> 00:00:33,550 Download movie subtitles or Load it directly from url on TheSubtitles.net 2 00:00:33,650 --> 00:00:35,944 Don't get out of this bathtub! Julie! 3 00:00:36,153 --> 00:00:37,446 Julie! 4 00:00:37,696 --> 00:00:40,741 Julie Christina Ubriacco! 5 00:00:42,617 --> 00:00:44,745 You're dripping suds all over the place. 6 00:00:44,995 --> 00:00:47,622 Come here. Where are you? 7 00:00:47,914 --> 00:00:51,001 I don't want to brush my teeth. I brushed them Saturday. 8 00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:53,879 You'll have plants growing out of your mouth. 9 00:01:05,807 --> 00:01:07,434 Honey? 10 00:01:07,684 --> 00:01:09,728 Are you all right? 11 00:01:14,983 --> 00:01:18,278 This is why we don't run around all wet. 12 00:01:21,073 --> 00:01:24,242 I don't want to go to bed. 13 00:01:24,493 --> 00:01:28,288 - You got to go to bed. - I went to bed last night. 14 00:01:28,538 --> 00:01:31,041 How many times a week do I have to go to bed? 15 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:35,587 Once upon a time, there was a princess and she moved to Queens. The end. 16 00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,464 That's not a story. 17 00:01:37,714 --> 00:01:40,592 It is tonight. Good night. 18 00:01:40,967 --> 00:01:43,512 - Change partners. - Do-si-do. 19 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,430 Daddy, tell me a story. 20 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,682 Two nuns walk into a bar... 21 00:01:47,891 --> 00:01:50,102 - James! - What? 22 00:01:50,352 --> 00:01:51,561 Oh, man. 23 00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:54,773 - Night-light! - Night-light! 24 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,527 Damn! Honey... 25 00:02:01,405 --> 00:02:03,115 ...did you leave that truck there? 26 00:02:03,365 --> 00:02:06,243 - Mikey did it. - Good night, Julie. 27 00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:08,662 Mom, want to play teacups? 28 00:02:08,912 --> 00:02:11,456 No, I don't want to play teacups. Good night. 29 00:02:11,707 --> 00:02:12,708 Good night. 30 00:02:12,916 --> 00:02:15,001 Do I want to play teacups? 31 00:02:19,256 --> 00:02:20,882 Man, am I exhausted! 32 00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:24,177 I know. I feel like I can't move. 33 00:02:25,387 --> 00:02:27,931 Every night we go through the same thing. 34 00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:33,270 What? 35 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,230 What is that look? 36 00:02:35,439 --> 00:02:36,898 Are you kidding? 37 00:02:37,816 --> 00:02:40,235 Honey, no. They're not even asleep yet. 38 00:02:40,444 --> 00:02:42,112 - They will be. - No, they won't. 39 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:45,240 They're probably outside the door, playing teacups. 40 00:02:45,449 --> 00:02:47,325 Wait. No. Honey... 41 00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:49,453 ...they're probably right outside. 42 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,621 Lock the door. 43 00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:53,582 Oh, Mollie. 44 00:02:53,957 --> 00:02:55,459 Oh, James. 45 00:02:55,667 --> 00:02:58,795 - Oh, Princess. - Oh, Trooper. 46 00:02:59,838 --> 00:03:01,298 It was a lovely evening. 47 00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:05,052 Was? I take you to the best dumpster in town... 48 00:03:05,302 --> 00:03:07,721 ... and all I get is a lick on the cheek? 49 00:03:07,929 --> 00:03:09,347 I'm not that kind of spaniel. 50 00:03:09,598 --> 00:03:12,225 Come on. You're the cutest thing on four legs. 51 00:03:12,476 --> 00:03:14,686 I think you're wonderful, but... 52 00:03:14,936 --> 00:03:17,147 ... I can't. 53 00:03:17,355 --> 00:03:18,732 Wait! Princess. 54 00:03:19,441 --> 00:03:21,026 I didn't want to tell you... 55 00:03:21,276 --> 00:03:24,863 ... but I'm going to the vet tomorrow. I may not make it. 56 00:03:25,113 --> 00:03:27,157 Oh, Trooper. 57 00:03:27,366 --> 00:03:28,492 Really? 58 00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:29,868 Bingo. 59 00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,822 Yes! I am the king! 60 00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:08,365 The king of the kennel! 61 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:10,117 Losers! Losers! 62 00:04:11,993 --> 00:04:14,287 Who cares? She was a dog anyway. 63 00:04:14,496 --> 00:04:16,289 There's another one! Go for it! 64 00:04:16,540 --> 00:04:18,291 Don't tell the guys. 65 00:04:18,542 --> 00:04:20,335 Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! 66 00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:22,421 And another one! 67 00:04:22,671 --> 00:04:24,506 They're all over! 68 00:04:24,715 --> 00:04:26,341 Come to papa! 69 00:04:28,677 --> 00:04:31,388 What will the girls at the hydrant say? 70 00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:33,348 Ma, check it out. 71 00:04:33,598 --> 00:04:36,810 I got these things on my face to open. I can see! 72 00:04:37,018 --> 00:04:38,520 I can see... 73 00:04:38,770 --> 00:04:41,189 ... wrinkly butts! 74 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:44,234 They're not mine. They're your brothers and sisters. 75 00:04:44,568 --> 00:04:47,237 Good. That makes me the cute one. 76 00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:53,201 So how did this happen? 77 00:04:53,452 --> 00:04:54,995 How did this happen? 78 00:04:55,245 --> 00:04:58,957 Look, here come the three kings. It must be a miracle. 79 00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:02,919 - Who were they? - They're my masters. 80 00:05:03,462 --> 00:05:05,047 They're hideous. 81 00:05:05,297 --> 00:05:08,925 They're just big dogs who walk funny. You take care of them. 82 00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:11,344 I don't want any stupid masters. 83 00:05:11,595 --> 00:05:13,221 Someday you will. 84 00:05:14,431 --> 00:05:17,684 I'll never get my figure back. It's Cycle Four for me. 85 00:05:23,398 --> 00:05:24,983 What are you colouring? 86 00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:30,906 Christmas list. 87 00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:34,368 Christmas list in September? What is that? 88 00:05:34,659 --> 00:05:37,120 A dog? We've been through this. 89 00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:39,623 But, Mom, we need a dog. 90 00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:44,586 Because, those guys who come to sell stuff, he could chew their legs off. 91 00:05:44,836 --> 00:05:46,338 That would be nice, but... 92 00:05:46,588 --> 00:05:48,965 And you could save money. He could babysit. 93 00:05:49,674 --> 00:05:51,885 You know dogs can't babysit. 94 00:05:52,094 --> 00:05:54,638 Dogs are smart. We could teach him stuff. 95 00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:57,516 Yes, we could. Like, how to pick up your room. 96 00:05:57,766 --> 00:05:59,226 - Cool. - Cool. 97 00:05:59,476 --> 00:06:01,520 I'll tell you what I will do. 98 00:06:01,770 --> 00:06:05,065 I promise you that we will buy you a dog. 99 00:06:05,315 --> 00:06:07,150 And I know you'll treat it well. 100 00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:11,154 But we live in this teeny apartment, and it wouldn't be fair to a dog. 101 00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:13,198 What if Santa thinks it is? 102 00:06:13,824 --> 00:06:15,325 Let's talk after school. 103 00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:17,160 You always say that. 104 00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,037 You always bug me. 105 00:06:19,287 --> 00:06:20,455 Bug, bug, bug. 106 00:06:20,664 --> 00:06:22,457 Go bug your teacher. 107 00:06:22,708 --> 00:06:23,959 Julie! 108 00:06:35,011 --> 00:06:38,515 Snap out of it, honey. Aren't you bored with that tape yet? 109 00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:41,309 - It's good. - It's good? With a pass to Julie... 110 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:45,689 ...up she goes. She scores a hundred million points. 111 00:06:45,981 --> 00:06:50,902 Most girls are obsessed with ponies, not sweaty men making jump shots. 112 00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,113 Should we be worried? Mike? 113 00:06:53,363 --> 00:06:56,950 It's the Suns. If it were the Mavericks, I'd be worried. 114 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:58,744 Let me look at you. 115 00:06:58,994 --> 00:07:01,538 - I don't know about the tie. - What? 116 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:02,998 Silly. 117 00:07:04,332 --> 00:07:06,960 You haven't seen the whole effect. Look at this. 118 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,046 It does this. 119 00:07:10,380 --> 00:07:13,633 Are you going to wear that on a job interview? 120 00:07:13,884 --> 00:07:15,802 - It's a joke. - I know it's a joke. 121 00:07:16,053 --> 00:07:17,763 - No, you didn't. - Yes, I did. 122 00:07:18,013 --> 00:07:20,098 This is the tie I'm going to wear. 123 00:07:21,224 --> 00:07:22,476 That is a joke. 124 00:07:22,893 --> 00:07:24,478 What? 125 00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:28,857 They'll know my wife put me in this suit. It's the colour of poo. 126 00:07:29,066 --> 00:07:31,151 Daddy said, "poo." 127 00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:35,530 Mike, what do you think of this suit? 128 00:07:35,739 --> 00:07:38,784 - You look like my principal. - Even he thinks it's stupid. 129 00:07:39,034 --> 00:07:40,744 He isn't offering a dental plan. 130 00:07:40,952 --> 00:07:43,246 This isn't me. I want to be myself. 131 00:07:43,455 --> 00:07:45,916 You won't get this job if you're yourself. 132 00:07:46,958 --> 00:07:49,294 I didn't mean it to sound that way. 133 00:07:49,544 --> 00:07:53,173 A CEO of a corporation is looking for a certain demeanor... 134 00:07:53,382 --> 00:07:54,633 ...in a corporate pilot. 135 00:07:54,883 --> 00:07:57,469 Don't tell them you still drive a cab. 136 00:07:57,719 --> 00:08:00,889 Let me drive. Sit in back and act like you don't know me. 137 00:08:01,139 --> 00:08:03,892 - And don't tell long stories. - I won't talk. 138 00:08:04,101 --> 00:08:06,436 - You can talk, but, James... - What? 139 00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,480 - Don't tell jokes. - I'm funny. 140 00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:12,651 - You are funny, in sort of a... - Corny. 141 00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,403 Corny kind of funny. 142 00:08:14,778 --> 00:08:16,196 Bash Brothers! 143 00:08:18,782 --> 00:08:20,158 Look out for that pud... 144 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:25,163 Sorry about the suit. 145 00:08:25,414 --> 00:08:28,750 My son kind of splattered me this morning. 146 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,045 We were doing this kind of "Bash Brothers" thing... 147 00:08:32,295 --> 00:08:35,215 It's not spit-up or anything. It's just... 148 00:08:35,465 --> 00:08:37,050 ...mud. 149 00:08:37,759 --> 00:08:41,555 Frankly, Mr. Ubriacco, your résumé is not very extensive. 150 00:08:41,805 --> 00:08:43,348 I know that. 151 00:08:43,598 --> 00:08:46,852 Yet people who have flown with you insist that I meet you. 152 00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:48,520 Really? 153 00:08:49,771 --> 00:08:51,314 I'd be interested to know why. 154 00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:52,649 May I? 155 00:08:57,779 --> 00:09:00,532 Mr. Martin. I know why he recommended me. 156 00:09:02,034 --> 00:09:05,245 We're on this flight, and they're having a party... 157 00:09:05,495 --> 00:09:08,206 ...and singing that English song: 158 00:09:09,541 --> 00:09:13,128 You know, you're English. I get on the microphone and say: 159 00:09:18,550 --> 00:09:19,801 You had to be there. 160 00:09:20,302 --> 00:09:23,138 God, I hope he doesn't blow it. 161 00:09:23,346 --> 00:09:25,640 When he gets nervous, he gets honest. 162 00:09:25,849 --> 00:09:28,602 And that is a major business liability. 163 00:09:28,852 --> 00:09:31,688 - I think he'll be okay. - I think he's freezing up. 164 00:09:31,897 --> 00:09:36,026 I've been married to him long enough. I have ESP. He's freezing up. 165 00:09:36,234 --> 00:09:39,946 And he said, "That thing's been following me all day!" 166 00:09:44,910 --> 00:09:49,331 I'll make a soufflé. If that doesn't cheer him up, I don't know what will. 167 00:09:49,581 --> 00:09:54,336 It's not like we can't live off my paycheck. We have a hundred times. 168 00:09:54,586 --> 00:09:57,339 Pink! Mine's pink today. That's festive. 169 00:10:09,226 --> 00:10:12,604 Man, I can't believe it. I always wanted to fly a Falcon. 170 00:10:12,854 --> 00:10:17,234 - Honey, how did you find me? - They told me you were down here. 171 00:10:17,734 --> 00:10:20,737 Mollie, this is Samantha D'Bonne, my new boss. 172 00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:22,698 How do you do? 173 00:10:22,948 --> 00:10:24,449 I do just fine, thank you. 174 00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:26,535 Oh, honey... 175 00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:28,704 Congratulations. 176 00:10:29,121 --> 00:10:30,497 This is my son, Mike. 177 00:10:30,706 --> 00:10:34,251 - Hello. - Sometimes he gets stuff on his hands. 178 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:37,379 - And my daughter, Julie. - Hello, Julie. 179 00:10:37,629 --> 00:10:39,464 Knock, knock. 180 00:10:40,090 --> 00:10:43,093 - Who's there? - Transsexual. 181 00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:46,138 - What's it mean? - It's an airline. 182 00:10:46,722 --> 00:10:48,306 Excuse me. 183 00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:54,271 So you work for Majique. That's a big corporation. 184 00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,356 Ms. D'Bonne is the president. 185 00:10:56,606 --> 00:10:59,401 You're the president? But you're so young. 186 00:10:59,651 --> 00:11:03,864 - I'm 30. I'm practically past it. - You can read about her in Fortune. 187 00:11:04,114 --> 00:11:06,158 You're in Fortune? 188 00:11:06,742 --> 00:11:08,869 Actually, it's two pages. 189 00:11:09,077 --> 00:11:11,204 Hey! Mikey! 190 00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,750 Wait! You'll end up in Guam. 191 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,627 - Get back here. - I didn't do anything. 192 00:11:18,253 --> 00:11:20,005 Oh, God. Honey. 193 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,215 They're a full-time job. 194 00:11:22,466 --> 00:11:24,259 Did you get off early from work? 195 00:11:24,468 --> 00:11:25,635 Yeah, I did. 196 00:11:25,844 --> 00:11:28,722 - Was it an office party? - I wouldn't call it a party. 197 00:11:28,972 --> 00:11:32,434 You never get off early. What did you do? VP! She got VP! 198 00:11:32,642 --> 00:11:34,644 - Did you get VP? - Not exactly. 199 00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:39,524 This is great! What a day! I get a job and you get... Oh, man! 200 00:11:40,275 --> 00:11:42,861 - Let's talk at home. - Give me the good news. 201 00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:45,072 I was fired! 202 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:49,951 Oh, honey. 203 00:11:51,620 --> 00:11:55,624 - What happened? - I think it's because of the cutbacks. 204 00:11:55,874 --> 00:11:59,127 I asked if it was my work and they said no, it was great. 205 00:11:59,378 --> 00:12:02,464 They said I was the best, which is why I was most expensive. 206 00:12:02,714 --> 00:12:07,302 I said, "What if I'd been better? What would you have done? Shoot me?" 207 00:12:07,552 --> 00:12:10,097 You're better than that company. 208 00:12:10,347 --> 00:12:13,975 Nine years and they give me a cactus. 209 00:12:14,226 --> 00:12:15,519 A cactus, honey. 210 00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:18,730 Excuse me. I couldn't help overhearing. 211 00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,691 - Really? - I'm terribly sorry. 212 00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:23,735 Don't be. This is nothing. 213 00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:27,489 Financially, you don't need to worry about a thing. You see... 214 00:12:27,739 --> 00:12:30,033 ...I'm negotiating a merger with Maxim Conti. 215 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,536 Next month alone, we'll be flying to Rome... 216 00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,788 ...Paris, New Zealand... 217 00:12:35,038 --> 00:12:37,708 I'll just keep him as busy as I can. 218 00:12:38,417 --> 00:12:41,044 That makes me feel a lot better. 219 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,755 I'm sure you'll find something. 220 00:12:45,716 --> 00:12:47,217 Oh, honey. 221 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,386 It'll be okay. 222 00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,388 - Knock, knock. - Nobody's home. 223 00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:52,973 - Knock, knock. - Nobody's home! 224 00:12:53,223 --> 00:12:56,309 - Knock, knock. - All right, who is it? 225 00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:57,978 - Buck. - Buck who? 226 00:12:58,228 --> 00:13:00,272 Buck, buck, I'm a chicken! 227 00:13:00,522 --> 00:13:02,524 Mom, can I kill her? 228 00:13:02,774 --> 00:13:04,192 Not before dinner. 229 00:13:04,401 --> 00:13:05,902 Knock, knock. 230 00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:09,406 Don't torture your mother, honey. 231 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:17,748 He's cute. 232 00:13:18,749 --> 00:13:22,753 What's going on? Where are they taking everybody? 233 00:13:23,545 --> 00:13:25,672 I'm scared! I'm going to pee. 234 00:13:25,922 --> 00:13:27,591 Put him back. That's my brother. 235 00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:30,510 He's so fuzzy. 236 00:13:30,761 --> 00:13:32,554 Is that kibble on your hat? 237 00:13:32,763 --> 00:13:35,474 I like you. 238 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:39,686 - Mommy, I want this one. - All right. 239 00:13:39,936 --> 00:13:42,355 Got any treats? I'm into treats. 240 00:13:46,818 --> 00:13:48,612 It's just me, huh? 241 00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,114 So nobody wants me? 242 00:13:51,365 --> 00:13:53,200 What's wrong with me? 243 00:13:53,492 --> 00:13:56,370 Okay, I drool more than some of the other guys. 244 00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:59,539 And I whine a little bit, sure. Who doesn't? 245 00:14:01,625 --> 00:14:03,627 You smell good. Like cookies. 246 00:14:05,587 --> 00:14:09,049 And dirt. Can I go with you? I like you. Please? 247 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,051 Mikey? 248 00:14:11,301 --> 00:14:13,470 - Kid, take me. - Michael, get over here. 249 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,390 Please? I'll eat shoelaces and vegetables. 250 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,308 I'll even eat dog food. 251 00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:19,935 Kid! Don't go away! 252 00:14:20,185 --> 00:14:22,771 Where are you going? Where did you go? 253 00:14:23,814 --> 00:14:25,524 Bad smell. 254 00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:29,277 You don't look like dog people. You look like snake people. 255 00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:32,823 Not the neck! I hate that. 256 00:14:33,031 --> 00:14:34,491 He's kind of scrawny. 257 00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:36,785 I've coughed hairballs better-looking than you. 258 00:14:36,993 --> 00:14:38,453 Take him, don't take him. 259 00:14:38,662 --> 00:14:40,539 - Make up your mind. - I'll take him. 260 00:14:40,789 --> 00:14:43,667 Don't let happen to him what happened to the gerbils. 261 00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:46,503 Why don't I have a good feeling about this? 262 00:14:49,673 --> 00:14:51,091 So here they are. 263 00:14:51,341 --> 00:14:53,677 My new masters. 264 00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:55,971 Not! 265 00:14:57,514 --> 00:14:58,765 Swallowed a bug! 266 00:15:01,017 --> 00:15:03,061 Tuck and roll. Tuck and roll. 267 00:15:06,898 --> 00:15:09,526 Big room. Wonder where the walls are. 268 00:15:09,735 --> 00:15:12,362 Who needs masters? I can take care of myself. 269 00:15:14,865 --> 00:15:16,450 What kind of dog was that? 270 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,953 Maybe I do need a master. 271 00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:25,834 How would you like to adopt a cute little pup? 272 00:15:26,043 --> 00:15:27,252 Same to you, pal. 273 00:15:27,502 --> 00:15:31,006 He was too skinny. Probably didn't have any good treats. 274 00:15:31,214 --> 00:15:33,967 Now if I was food, where would I be? 275 00:15:34,217 --> 00:15:37,304 In my stomach, because I would have eaten me already. 276 00:15:37,554 --> 00:15:39,556 Fatter people. This is good. 277 00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:42,893 There's gotta be treats around fat people. 278 00:15:43,101 --> 00:15:45,353 Doggie dish at 12:00. I'm coming in. 279 00:15:45,687 --> 00:15:47,314 What's this, metal food? 280 00:15:47,564 --> 00:15:50,233 Hey there, little fella. 281 00:15:50,484 --> 00:15:53,737 - You hungry? - Are you kidding? I just ate a nickel. 282 00:15:54,613 --> 00:15:56,239 What a guy. What do you got? 283 00:15:56,448 --> 00:15:58,992 Food? You going for food? 284 00:15:59,242 --> 00:16:00,660 Let me see what's in there. 285 00:16:00,911 --> 00:16:03,622 Get your hand away. I'll do it. I got it. 286 00:16:13,090 --> 00:16:16,468 I would like a Ferrari Testa Rossa... 287 00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:20,889 ...Alien Autopsy, a Super-Squirt Phlegm Gun with laser sight... 288 00:16:21,139 --> 00:16:23,350 ...a helicopter... 289 00:16:23,558 --> 00:16:24,810 ...a space suit... 290 00:16:25,060 --> 00:16:27,896 That goob's been up there for an hour. Get him off. 291 00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:31,608 I told you, Santa doesn't want you to be a naughty girl. 292 00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,360 Who are you, his mother? 293 00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:36,613 No, I'm a Vulcan. 294 00:16:36,822 --> 00:16:40,200 - How would you like a death grip? - Yeah, right. 295 00:16:40,659 --> 00:16:42,994 - a million dollars, a toy store... 296 00:16:43,245 --> 00:16:46,039 - Mom! - Mommy! 297 00:16:47,416 --> 00:16:51,712 See? I told you Mommy had a big, important job with Santa. 298 00:16:51,962 --> 00:16:55,465 - Hey, no cuts! - A spot. Tricked you. 299 00:17:04,307 --> 00:17:07,144 Hello there, everyone! 300 00:17:09,688 --> 00:17:13,608 Merry Christmas, everyone! 301 00:17:21,825 --> 00:17:23,827 - You look hot. - Yeah. 302 00:17:24,286 --> 00:17:27,164 - How's it going? - It's going bad. I hate children. 303 00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:29,291 I used to love them. Now I hate them. 304 00:17:29,541 --> 00:17:32,586 This music is driving me nuts. I want to hurt Bing Crosby. 305 00:17:32,836 --> 00:17:34,504 Something will come for you. 306 00:17:34,755 --> 00:17:38,425 - 40 interviews and no one's hired me. - Then it can only get better. 307 00:17:38,633 --> 00:17:41,678 - Maybe next year I can be a reindeer. - Look at the perks. 308 00:17:41,887 --> 00:17:43,847 Hey, guys. 309 00:17:44,056 --> 00:17:47,642 What are you standing there for? Mom's personal best friend, Santa... 310 00:17:47,893 --> 00:17:50,020 ...is ready to see you. Come on. 311 00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:51,938 There you go. 312 00:17:52,397 --> 00:17:54,066 There we go. 313 00:17:56,568 --> 00:17:58,278 Merry Christmas. 314 00:17:58,904 --> 00:18:02,866 - Well, how are you today... - Mikey. 315 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:05,827 ...Mikey? - You know me? 316 00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:10,374 What would you like Santa to bring you this Christmas? 317 00:18:11,666 --> 00:18:15,128 - I want a dog. - A dog? Well, that seems... 318 00:18:15,337 --> 00:18:16,546 No. 319 00:18:16,755 --> 00:18:18,882 You see, Mikey... 320 00:18:19,091 --> 00:18:22,052 ...even Santa doesn't control some things. 321 00:18:22,511 --> 00:18:26,515 Now somewhere out there is the absolute perfect dog for you. 322 00:18:26,765 --> 00:18:28,350 Maybe he's already been born. 323 00:18:28,767 --> 00:18:31,019 Maybe he hasn't. But when he is... 324 00:18:31,269 --> 00:18:33,313 ...believe me, I'll know... 325 00:18:33,563 --> 00:18:34,815 ...and you'll get him! 326 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:38,318 - So I'll get him for Christmas? - I'll do my best. 327 00:18:38,568 --> 00:18:41,822 - Thanks, Santa. - You're welcome, Mikey. 328 00:18:44,408 --> 00:18:46,326 Here's Santa. 329 00:18:47,744 --> 00:18:50,163 Hello, honey. 330 00:18:51,873 --> 00:18:53,917 Mommy! 331 00:19:00,590 --> 00:19:03,760 Santa is not mad at you. Now listen to Teddy. 332 00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:06,430 - Is Santa mad at Julie? - No. 333 00:19:06,638 --> 00:19:09,391 - Will Julie still get presents? - Yes. 334 00:19:09,641 --> 00:19:11,393 Give me kisses. 335 00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:18,108 Come on, Julie. Cheer up. How about a pre-Christmas present? 336 00:19:35,417 --> 00:19:39,588 I have to get these shoes off. My toes are curling. 337 00:19:40,505 --> 00:19:42,924 Good night, Prancer. Good night, Dancer. 338 00:19:49,056 --> 00:19:51,266 What's the matter with you? 339 00:19:51,475 --> 00:19:53,560 You don't know how to write? 340 00:19:53,977 --> 00:19:57,397 Yeah? You gonna send some monkey around to bust my knees? 341 00:19:58,940 --> 00:20:00,859 Hey, all right. 342 00:20:01,109 --> 00:20:04,112 I'll come up with a couple of bills for you. 343 00:20:04,363 --> 00:20:06,114 I was just kidding, okay? 344 00:20:06,365 --> 00:20:09,159 Yeah, and a merry to you too. 345 00:20:10,327 --> 00:20:12,746 You miserable sack of... 346 00:20:15,707 --> 00:20:17,709 You're a fake! 347 00:20:17,918 --> 00:20:20,879 - How could you let him see that? - You were watching him. 348 00:20:21,129 --> 00:20:22,339 I was calming Julie. 349 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:25,509 - What did Mikey see? - Nothing, honey. 350 00:20:25,759 --> 00:20:27,969 - You said he was real. - I know, you see... 351 00:20:28,178 --> 00:20:30,722 The real Santa's busy, so he sends these... 352 00:20:30,931 --> 00:20:34,726 - Cousins. - That was Santa's cousin, Sidney Claus. 353 00:20:34,976 --> 00:20:37,187 He's Jewish. He's his Jewish cousin. 354 00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:40,190 But you said he was real. 355 00:20:57,833 --> 00:21:00,377 All right, you chipmunks, ready to sing your song? 356 00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:02,796 - I'll say we are. - Let's sing it now. 357 00:21:03,046 --> 00:21:04,715 - Okay, Simon? - Okay. 358 00:21:04,965 --> 00:21:06,842 - Okay, Theodore? - Okay. 359 00:21:07,092 --> 00:21:08,969 Okay, Alvin? 360 00:21:09,553 --> 00:21:10,929 Alvin? 361 00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:13,557 - Alvin! - Okay! 362 00:21:53,305 --> 00:21:55,265 Oh, Mikey, Mikey. 363 00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:58,477 What do you want? You want a pizza pie? 364 00:21:58,769 --> 00:22:01,146 Great. The Cornball Family. 365 00:22:01,772 --> 00:22:03,899 It didn't work. 366 00:22:09,613 --> 00:22:12,074 Honey, you used to love that song. 367 00:22:12,324 --> 00:22:14,493 What can we do to make you feel better? 368 00:22:14,993 --> 00:22:17,162 Just tell me the truth. 369 00:22:17,412 --> 00:22:19,414 There is no Santa, is there? 370 00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:24,461 Yes. There is, honey. 371 00:22:24,711 --> 00:22:26,213 But you know what it's like? 372 00:22:26,421 --> 00:22:30,592 I'll tell you. You know how in Cub Scouts you have den mothers? 373 00:22:30,801 --> 00:22:31,843 Well, Santa has... 374 00:22:32,094 --> 00:22:33,720 ...den Santas. 375 00:22:33,970 --> 00:22:37,099 Mike, you want to know the truth, right? 376 00:22:37,349 --> 00:22:39,976 You don't want us to lie to you... 377 00:22:40,227 --> 00:22:42,062 ...and this is the truth. 378 00:22:43,397 --> 00:22:45,482 You know the whole thing about... 379 00:22:45,732 --> 00:22:47,526 ...the North Pole? 380 00:22:47,776 --> 00:22:49,194 It's just a story. 381 00:22:49,736 --> 00:22:51,363 It's just a story. 382 00:22:51,613 --> 00:22:53,031 Santa is... 383 00:22:53,281 --> 00:22:54,783 Santa is really... 384 00:22:55,033 --> 00:22:56,284 ...from Finland. 385 00:22:57,327 --> 00:22:58,412 Finland. 386 00:22:59,913 --> 00:23:01,164 Give me a break. 387 00:23:01,373 --> 00:23:03,125 - No. He is. - How could he... 388 00:23:03,333 --> 00:23:05,335 ...get around the world in a night? 389 00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:07,212 - Finland Airlines. - Correct. 390 00:23:07,462 --> 00:23:09,589 And how could reindeer fly? 391 00:23:09,798 --> 00:23:10,966 Freight. 392 00:23:11,216 --> 00:23:15,303 And how come Rudolph's nose glows? What is he, radioactive? 393 00:23:15,887 --> 00:23:18,974 Well, how come your grandfather's nose glows? 394 00:23:20,392 --> 00:23:22,728 I have the answer to this question. 395 00:23:23,562 --> 00:23:26,189 Some things in life are magic. 396 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,608 Santa is magic. 397 00:23:31,153 --> 00:23:32,529 Magic's for babies. 398 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:38,910 Honey, nice try. 399 00:24:20,077 --> 00:24:21,328 Can I play? 400 00:24:21,578 --> 00:24:24,790 - With me? - Let's get busy. 401 00:25:07,624 --> 00:25:09,126 New York Centre. 402 00:25:09,376 --> 00:25:13,630 New York Centre, Fox Juliet, flight level 4-1-0. Roger. 403 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,966 - Knock, knock. - Hi. 404 00:25:22,889 --> 00:25:24,307 How's the meeting? 405 00:25:24,975 --> 00:25:28,061 We're all posturing, making threats. Business as usual. 406 00:25:28,311 --> 00:25:30,188 Zero-5-8. Roger. 407 00:25:30,439 --> 00:25:32,941 We'll have to work through this weekend. 408 00:25:33,191 --> 00:25:35,569 Do you mind staying in Boston a couple of days? 409 00:25:35,861 --> 00:25:37,029 No. 410 00:25:37,279 --> 00:25:38,530 I'll buy you dinner. 411 00:25:38,780 --> 00:25:41,033 You don't have to. It's my job. 412 00:25:41,283 --> 00:25:43,285 So you'll keep me feeling guilty. 413 00:25:43,493 --> 00:25:46,955 Okay, but nothing fancy. Just a paper napkin place. 414 00:25:47,914 --> 00:25:50,917 Okay. Just don't sound too thrilled about it, will you? 415 00:25:53,045 --> 00:25:54,963 It's not that. 416 00:25:57,215 --> 00:25:59,217 I was just thinking about Mikey. 417 00:25:59,468 --> 00:26:01,136 - He's upset and... - Why? 418 00:26:02,888 --> 00:26:04,890 Mollie's gonna hate me for this... 419 00:26:05,140 --> 00:26:07,976 ...but I think we're looking at the D word. 420 00:26:08,226 --> 00:26:09,311 Divorce? 421 00:26:11,438 --> 00:26:12,898 No. 422 00:26:13,148 --> 00:26:14,566 Dog. 423 00:26:18,278 --> 00:26:20,530 Watch it, pussy. I'm walking here. 424 00:26:20,781 --> 00:26:23,367 Cats. Can't live with them, can't eat them. 425 00:26:23,617 --> 00:26:25,327 They're ruining this city. 426 00:26:25,577 --> 00:26:30,040 Look at those. Extra crunchy. Wrap them up, I'll take them to go. 427 00:26:30,290 --> 00:26:33,543 Step on me, lady, you get a nose in the crotch. 428 00:26:35,587 --> 00:26:36,797 Hey, pal. 429 00:26:37,255 --> 00:26:39,257 This was sitting on a park bench. 430 00:26:39,508 --> 00:26:41,885 Next to some guy who was eating it. 431 00:26:42,135 --> 00:26:45,764 Catch you later. I got a date with a cute Pekingese on Park Avenue. 432 00:26:46,139 --> 00:26:49,226 Face like a Mack truck, but what a body. 433 00:26:49,476 --> 00:26:52,104 What can I say? I'm a hound. 434 00:26:52,312 --> 00:26:55,190 Gotcha. Come on now, boy. No trouble. 435 00:26:55,399 --> 00:26:58,276 Okay, I didn't mean to steal that Frisbee. 436 00:26:58,527 --> 00:27:01,530 I thought two calzones were mating! 437 00:27:01,780 --> 00:27:03,031 Lousy dog cop! 438 00:27:05,867 --> 00:27:10,247 Hey, liver. Jeez, I could get used to this. 439 00:27:10,622 --> 00:27:12,999 You got liver? Hey, fellas! 440 00:27:13,250 --> 00:27:14,710 Spot here got liver. 441 00:27:15,043 --> 00:27:17,129 - He got liver? - That's a shame. 442 00:27:17,337 --> 00:27:19,840 Already? That's a crock. 443 00:27:20,048 --> 00:27:22,968 - What's wrong with liver? - That's your last meal, amigo. 444 00:27:23,218 --> 00:27:24,636 Then it's a big nap. 445 00:27:24,886 --> 00:27:26,179 What did I do? 446 00:27:26,430 --> 00:27:28,014 What did any of us do? 447 00:27:28,265 --> 00:27:29,349 I bit a cop. 448 00:27:29,599 --> 00:27:31,476 I got to talk to someone. 449 00:27:31,977 --> 00:27:34,104 Too late. Here comes Dave. 450 00:27:44,114 --> 00:27:46,783 Come on. Can't we work out some kind of deal? 451 00:27:47,034 --> 00:27:49,453 I got bones buried everywhere. I'll share them! 452 00:27:49,661 --> 00:27:53,415 - Hey, Dave. You big dumb clod! - Hey, ugly! 453 00:27:53,623 --> 00:27:55,625 You can't even pee right. 454 00:27:55,876 --> 00:27:57,794 Can I take a dump in your hat? 455 00:27:59,337 --> 00:28:01,757 Sorry, fella. It's time to go. 456 00:28:01,965 --> 00:28:03,842 Don't let him see your fear. 457 00:28:04,092 --> 00:28:06,428 Don't give him the satisfaction. 458 00:28:06,678 --> 00:28:09,056 - Kill Dave! - Kill Dave! 459 00:28:15,187 --> 00:28:18,065 - What are we doing? - We're going underwear shopping. 460 00:28:18,315 --> 00:28:20,233 - I don't like underwear. - You love it. 461 00:28:20,484 --> 00:28:22,611 - I hate them. - You love them. 462 00:28:23,737 --> 00:28:25,655 Look alive, guys! We got masters! 463 00:28:28,742 --> 00:28:30,327 Go ahead. 464 00:28:34,414 --> 00:28:36,792 I'm neutered. I've humped my last leg. 465 00:28:37,042 --> 00:28:39,711 I will follow orders! 466 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:44,341 Yo, I can help you meet chicks. I got this Lassie thing down. 467 00:28:44,591 --> 00:28:46,802 You can call me Spot or Measles. 468 00:28:47,594 --> 00:28:49,304 Hey, kid! 469 00:28:50,180 --> 00:28:52,599 I do everything. Tricks! Roll over! 470 00:28:53,100 --> 00:28:54,351 What about this guy? 471 00:28:54,601 --> 00:28:56,645 Not a boy. I hate boys. 472 00:28:56,895 --> 00:28:58,605 He looks pretty cool. 473 00:28:58,855 --> 00:29:02,234 - He looks like a hot dog with ears. - I resent that! 474 00:29:03,902 --> 00:29:06,822 Here's the thing. I got puppies out there. 475 00:29:07,030 --> 00:29:09,366 Maybe. I don't know. I've been around. 476 00:29:09,616 --> 00:29:12,244 You know how it is. Give me a break. 477 00:29:12,494 --> 00:29:14,788 I promise I'll go straight. 478 00:29:15,038 --> 00:29:18,500 I'll even help out some blind guy with a pencil cup. 479 00:29:19,167 --> 00:29:22,045 I know that smell. Cookies and dirt. 480 00:29:23,296 --> 00:29:25,382 - That's my kid! - I said, let's move it. 481 00:29:25,590 --> 00:29:26,758 Move on this. 482 00:29:28,135 --> 00:29:30,679 Kid! You know me, don't you? 483 00:29:30,929 --> 00:29:32,556 Get me out of here! 484 00:29:33,974 --> 00:29:35,600 Him, Daddy. I want him. 485 00:29:35,851 --> 00:29:38,103 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 486 00:29:40,856 --> 00:29:42,899 You want him? 487 00:29:43,734 --> 00:29:44,818 Here you go. 488 00:29:45,027 --> 00:29:49,197 - We'll take him. - This one's scheduled to be destroyed. 489 00:29:49,448 --> 00:29:52,367 What? No way. Take me, I'm yours! 490 00:29:54,202 --> 00:29:56,288 - Well, he's been reprieved. - Yes! 491 00:29:57,914 --> 00:30:00,208 Okay, here we go. 492 00:30:02,502 --> 00:30:04,588 - What are you gonna name him? - Rocks. 493 00:30:04,838 --> 00:30:06,715 Rocks? How come Rocks? 494 00:30:06,965 --> 00:30:09,426 Because that's what he left in the back seat. 495 00:30:09,676 --> 00:30:11,595 Sorry about that. 496 00:30:11,845 --> 00:30:13,555 Oh, man! 497 00:30:14,890 --> 00:30:17,059 Here we are. This is where we live. 498 00:30:17,976 --> 00:30:19,728 Warm. Dry. No puddles. 499 00:30:19,936 --> 00:30:23,982 Wait a minute. Nice cushy thing to sleep on. A little lumpy. 500 00:30:24,191 --> 00:30:26,068 Maybe I'll just dig out the middle. 501 00:30:26,443 --> 00:30:28,153 Honey, is that you? 502 00:30:35,202 --> 00:30:36,453 Hello, James. 503 00:30:36,953 --> 00:30:38,789 What's going on? 504 00:30:39,039 --> 00:30:42,167 Samantha has brought us a big surprise. 505 00:30:42,417 --> 00:30:44,252 Really for Mikey and Julie. 506 00:30:48,131 --> 00:30:50,258 What a tiny kennel. 507 00:30:50,467 --> 00:30:52,636 I've seen enough. Bring the car around. 508 00:30:54,179 --> 00:30:55,305 Her name is Daphne. 509 00:30:55,555 --> 00:30:59,267 She's purebred and trained at the Radcliffe of obedience schools. 510 00:31:00,018 --> 00:31:02,145 Radcliffe, wow. 511 00:31:02,979 --> 00:31:04,356 Daphne, sit. 512 00:31:05,148 --> 00:31:06,233 Voilà. 513 00:31:06,608 --> 00:31:09,820 - Aerobics. - But where's my personal trainer? 514 00:31:14,116 --> 00:31:15,909 Isn't she a wonderful dog? 515 00:31:16,368 --> 00:31:18,870 I'll have my manicure now, please. 516 00:31:19,121 --> 00:31:21,331 - But I like Rocks bet... - A dog! 517 00:31:21,581 --> 00:31:23,166 A dog! 518 00:31:23,375 --> 00:31:25,502 Mikey, wow. Finally, a dog. 519 00:31:25,794 --> 00:31:27,921 Play with your rocks later. 520 00:31:28,505 --> 00:31:30,632 But as I was just saying to Samantha... 521 00:31:30,882 --> 00:31:35,095 ...we wouldn't dream of taking her precious baby away from her. 522 00:31:35,345 --> 00:31:37,597 And as I was telling Mollie... 523 00:31:37,848 --> 00:31:40,142 ...we're travelling so much... 524 00:31:40,392 --> 00:31:43,729 ...she doesn't get enough attention. - I think it's a great idea. 525 00:31:44,062 --> 00:31:45,731 Good. 526 00:31:47,899 --> 00:31:50,068 Radcliffe, honey. Radcliffe. 527 00:31:53,113 --> 00:31:55,365 Bye-bye, sweetheart. 528 00:31:55,615 --> 00:31:58,577 Bye-bye? You can't leave me with these people. 529 00:31:58,827 --> 00:32:02,831 They haven't been properly trained, or groomed, or... 530 00:32:03,081 --> 00:32:05,125 I'm getting a migraine. 531 00:32:05,542 --> 00:32:07,210 Goodbye, Mollie. 532 00:32:08,128 --> 00:32:10,380 I'll be sending over her things. 533 00:32:10,630 --> 00:32:13,050 - See you later, James. - Thank you. Bye-bye. 534 00:32:13,300 --> 00:32:15,677 Things? A dog has things? 535 00:32:15,927 --> 00:32:17,220 She's just being nice. 536 00:32:17,429 --> 00:32:20,474 The nerve! Coming in and treating us like a kennel. 537 00:32:20,724 --> 00:32:24,519 She dumps this dog on this family without even consulting me? 538 00:32:25,645 --> 00:32:27,064 Look what we got, Mom. 539 00:32:27,314 --> 00:32:29,941 His name's Rocks. 540 00:32:31,401 --> 00:32:34,905 Den. Don't even think about loving on me, pal. 541 00:32:37,616 --> 00:32:39,242 We already talked about this. 542 00:32:39,493 --> 00:32:43,497 Yes, we talked but we didn't decide. Now we have two dogs. 543 00:32:43,747 --> 00:32:45,957 If I take Rocks back, he'll be put to sleep. 544 00:32:46,208 --> 00:32:47,626 Take... What's her name? 545 00:32:47,876 --> 00:32:50,462 - Daphne. - Take Daphne back to Princess Di. 546 00:32:50,712 --> 00:32:55,175 I can't insult Samantha. This is the best job I've ever had. 547 00:32:55,425 --> 00:32:59,471 This is your responsibility. You brought these dogs here, you fix it. 548 00:32:59,721 --> 00:33:02,057 Or I will fix you. 549 00:33:04,559 --> 00:33:05,602 All right. 550 00:33:05,852 --> 00:33:08,146 This is my chair, this is my cup... 551 00:33:08,397 --> 00:33:11,191 ...and this is my stinky brother, Mikey. 552 00:33:11,525 --> 00:33:12,984 Schwing! 553 00:33:13,527 --> 00:33:15,237 Hello, baby! 554 00:33:15,487 --> 00:33:19,241 Oh, my! What a set of paws. 555 00:33:19,449 --> 00:33:22,369 Powder Puff, how about we nose through the garbage? 556 00:33:22,577 --> 00:33:26,123 - What cat dragged you in? - The kid sprung me from the joint. 557 00:33:26,331 --> 00:33:29,084 I don't associate with mutts. I've got papers. 558 00:33:29,459 --> 00:33:32,879 I been hit by those. Hurts like hell, huh, Daffy? 559 00:33:33,088 --> 00:33:35,841 It's Daphne, you tick magnet. 560 00:33:36,049 --> 00:33:38,176 Jeez! Like you never sniffed a butt. 561 00:33:38,385 --> 00:33:40,762 Why don't we keep them both for now. 562 00:33:41,012 --> 00:33:42,848 The one that works out, stays. 563 00:33:43,098 --> 00:33:45,976 The one that doesn't, we find another home for. 564 00:33:46,226 --> 00:33:49,855 - I don't know about that. - Come on. Look how happy they are. 565 00:33:50,105 --> 00:33:53,066 Wasn't there ever anything you really wanted? 566 00:33:57,404 --> 00:33:58,780 I'll never have breasts! 567 00:33:58,989 --> 00:34:00,741 Oh, honey. 568 00:34:03,243 --> 00:34:07,330 Okay. But the one that we choose not to keep goes. 569 00:34:07,581 --> 00:34:08,623 - Goes. - Goes. 570 00:34:08,832 --> 00:34:10,459 - Goes. - Swear. 571 00:34:11,543 --> 00:34:14,671 Don't. I don't want you to love me yet. Not yet! 572 00:34:15,297 --> 00:34:18,175 I'm telling you. You're not in the clear, buddy. 573 00:34:18,842 --> 00:34:21,011 Look! They like each other. 574 00:34:21,261 --> 00:34:23,388 - Mongrel. - Bitch. 575 00:34:23,638 --> 00:34:26,141 Look, honey, they like each other. 576 00:34:56,129 --> 00:34:58,256 I don't need a bath. I just lick down there. 577 00:34:58,507 --> 00:35:01,176 Trust me. I smell worse wet than I do dry. 578 00:35:01,426 --> 00:35:05,430 - Cut it out! I'm warning you. - Quick, Mike, grab his tail. 579 00:35:09,643 --> 00:35:11,687 What, no bubbles? 580 00:35:11,937 --> 00:35:14,523 And I see there's no slice of lemon. 581 00:35:14,773 --> 00:35:16,733 - Drink it. - Take it away! 582 00:35:16,942 --> 00:35:21,279 I don't know why they put my dish up so high, but they serve good food. 583 00:35:21,530 --> 00:35:23,573 Look at this cut of meat. 584 00:35:24,366 --> 00:35:27,411 Here we go. Gonna play "chase the meat" again. 585 00:35:27,619 --> 00:35:30,163 Eating and running are my two favourite things. 586 00:35:30,414 --> 00:35:34,292 I'm gonna eat this meat and save you the fat, big boy. 587 00:35:34,543 --> 00:35:36,712 Bad dog! Stop! 588 00:35:37,379 --> 00:35:40,340 I'm frizzing. Brush while you blow, please. 589 00:35:40,549 --> 00:35:43,885 Look at your hair. I can't believe I trust you with mine. 590 00:35:46,430 --> 00:35:48,473 What's this guy doing here? 591 00:35:48,724 --> 00:35:52,310 Gonna get some treats from the cabinet? Get some for me too. 592 00:35:53,020 --> 00:35:54,813 Hit the clicker! 593 00:35:55,022 --> 00:35:57,858 - Daphne, sit. - Oh, no, it's way back like this. 594 00:35:58,066 --> 00:35:59,109 Daphne, beg up. 595 00:35:59,317 --> 00:36:01,236 - Start with one hand. - Two hands. 596 00:36:01,486 --> 00:36:02,612 If you insist. 597 00:36:02,821 --> 00:36:04,990 Rocks, roll over. 598 00:36:06,450 --> 00:36:08,702 Roll over, like this. 599 00:36:12,289 --> 00:36:14,332 You guys are total entertainment. 600 00:36:14,541 --> 00:36:17,044 It's better than chasing hubcaps. Do it again. 601 00:36:17,252 --> 00:36:18,628 - Julie, paw. - Daphne, paw. 602 00:36:18,879 --> 00:36:20,172 - Good girl. - Good girl. 603 00:36:20,380 --> 00:36:22,924 You're getting so much better. 604 00:36:23,508 --> 00:36:25,761 - No! - What? 605 00:36:25,969 --> 00:36:27,512 No! 606 00:36:27,763 --> 00:36:28,889 What? 607 00:36:30,223 --> 00:36:32,601 - No! - What? 608 00:36:37,773 --> 00:36:39,900 Get that skinny man out my spaghetti. 609 00:36:40,150 --> 00:36:42,944 - Someone's playing with their food. - No, no! 610 00:36:43,195 --> 00:36:46,239 Kid, shoot one of them round, meaty things my way. 611 00:36:46,448 --> 00:36:47,949 Begging is so gauche. 612 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,327 Come on, come through for me, will you? 613 00:36:50,577 --> 00:36:53,413 Come on, come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 614 00:36:53,622 --> 00:36:55,165 Yes, he scores! 615 00:36:55,624 --> 00:36:57,584 Hey! He threw a meatball! 616 00:36:57,793 --> 00:36:59,711 - Squealer. - Spaghetti face! 617 00:37:02,964 --> 00:37:06,051 What is that? Ice cream headache! Pain! Pain! 618 00:37:06,259 --> 00:37:07,928 Sorry, guys. 619 00:37:10,597 --> 00:37:12,099 Chicago. 620 00:37:16,645 --> 00:37:18,772 You kids behave yourselves. 621 00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:21,608 My poor nerves. 622 00:37:21,942 --> 00:37:26,029 - Little high-strung, aren't we, Daffy? - I'm just sensitive. 623 00:37:26,363 --> 00:37:28,699 You've got that skeevy inbred look. 624 00:37:28,949 --> 00:37:31,410 Mom knew her cousin a little too well, huh? 625 00:37:31,660 --> 00:37:33,954 Better than your mother knew your father. 626 00:37:34,162 --> 00:37:35,497 Put a sock in it. 627 00:37:35,747 --> 00:37:38,375 I hope you won't be gone very long. 628 00:37:42,754 --> 00:37:47,092 Hey, time for my walk, remember? I'm getting kind of squirmy here. 629 00:37:49,636 --> 00:37:53,598 Okay, you guys are busy. I'll go right here, no problem. 630 00:37:55,976 --> 00:37:57,894 - No! - What is he doing? 631 00:38:00,772 --> 00:38:01,815 Bad dog. 632 00:38:02,024 --> 00:38:04,026 Right hand, green. 633 00:38:05,235 --> 00:38:09,781 Unbelievably, incredibly, endlessly bad dog! 634 00:38:09,990 --> 00:38:13,118 I just marked that spot. I'll do it again tomorrow. 635 00:38:35,182 --> 00:38:36,808 - Hello? - Hi, honey. 636 00:38:37,059 --> 00:38:39,811 - How are you? - This has been a week of hell. 637 00:38:40,062 --> 00:38:42,522 - Is it Daphne? - No, it's not Daphne. 638 00:38:42,773 --> 00:38:45,567 It's that other moron, Rocks. He pees all over... 639 00:38:45,817 --> 00:38:50,447 - He'll grow out of that. - All right, he also is a shoe gourmet. 640 00:38:50,655 --> 00:38:53,533 He only eats Charles Jourdan, never my tennis shoes. 641 00:39:07,422 --> 00:39:08,965 Daddy. 642 00:39:11,885 --> 00:39:16,390 I'm sorry. I wish I could be there. I feel like I can train him. 643 00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:19,559 Doctor Dolittle couldn't train this dog. 644 00:39:19,810 --> 00:39:23,897 So, what do you think, hon? We should find him a new home? 645 00:39:25,816 --> 00:39:29,069 - Oh, man! You win again! - But of course. 646 00:39:30,445 --> 00:39:32,698 No. I'll give him one more chance. 647 00:39:32,906 --> 00:39:36,326 Great. If he chews anything else... 648 00:39:36,535 --> 00:39:39,079 ...he's gone. Okay? - Okay. 649 00:39:41,581 --> 00:39:44,292 I miss you. I'm excited about seeing you tonight. 650 00:39:44,501 --> 00:39:45,877 That's why I'm calling. 651 00:39:46,086 --> 00:39:48,088 We're going to France tonight. 652 00:39:48,547 --> 00:39:51,216 France? James... 653 00:39:51,466 --> 00:39:54,261 ...you've already been gone for two whole weeks. 654 00:39:54,469 --> 00:39:56,388 I've gotta go board now. 655 00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:58,932 All right. I'll tell the kids. 656 00:40:00,809 --> 00:40:02,477 Come say bye to Daddy. 657 00:40:06,648 --> 00:40:08,984 Honey! What were you doing? 658 00:40:09,234 --> 00:40:10,277 Flying. 659 00:40:10,485 --> 00:40:12,904 Flying? Honey, you can't fly. 660 00:40:13,155 --> 00:40:15,615 But those people can. 661 00:40:16,616 --> 00:40:21,705 That is make-believe, honey. Remember when we talked about make-believe? 662 00:40:21,955 --> 00:40:25,667 The basketball man isn't make-believe and they can fly. 663 00:40:25,876 --> 00:40:28,628 Do you like them because you think they can fly? 664 00:40:30,005 --> 00:40:33,216 They can't fly, either. But they can jump really high. 665 00:40:33,425 --> 00:40:34,801 Daddy flies. 666 00:40:35,010 --> 00:40:38,972 He does fly. But, honey, he flies in an aeroplane. 667 00:40:39,181 --> 00:40:41,892 Daddy doesn't fly... Daddy. 668 00:40:43,727 --> 00:40:45,020 James? 669 00:40:45,479 --> 00:40:47,939 James. Honey? 670 00:40:59,868 --> 00:41:01,828 Rocks! 671 00:41:02,204 --> 00:41:05,082 - I like yours. - Yeah, it's so cute. 672 00:41:05,332 --> 00:41:06,958 Where's your collage? 673 00:41:07,209 --> 00:41:10,504 - Didn't do it. - Miss Craig is gonna slime you. 674 00:41:10,754 --> 00:41:12,798 - Big deal. - Excuse me, ladies. 675 00:41:13,048 --> 00:41:15,509 Why didn't you do your assignment? 676 00:41:15,759 --> 00:41:20,722 It's stupid. We had to make a collage of things we asked Santa for. 677 00:41:20,972 --> 00:41:22,391 But there is no... 678 00:41:22,641 --> 00:41:25,686 Don't say that in front of Julie or anyone in class. 679 00:41:25,936 --> 00:41:28,605 You don't want to upset everybody, do you? 680 00:41:29,106 --> 00:41:30,816 - It's the truth. - What is? 681 00:41:31,066 --> 00:41:34,653 Nothing, honey. Mike, please, just do me this favour. 682 00:41:34,903 --> 00:41:37,155 Don't say anything to anybody. 683 00:41:37,656 --> 00:41:39,908 - Okay. - All right! Bash Brothers! 684 00:41:40,117 --> 00:41:42,828 - All right! We are Bash! We... - Mom. Mom! 685 00:41:43,078 --> 00:41:44,287 You're a girl. 686 00:41:45,455 --> 00:41:47,874 Sorry. He'll be back soon. 687 00:42:10,731 --> 00:42:13,483 - Did he win at the dog races? - Ma. 688 00:42:13,734 --> 00:42:16,069 Where'd he get the jacket? He looks... 689 00:42:16,319 --> 00:42:19,072 - Hot. The word's "hot." - Hot. Hot. 690 00:42:24,661 --> 00:42:29,624 Excuse me. This is a special evening. I'd like a bottle of Cristal. 691 00:42:30,333 --> 00:42:32,127 And this is for the table. 692 00:42:32,335 --> 00:42:34,129 He's picked up a few things. 693 00:42:38,341 --> 00:42:39,259 What? 694 00:42:39,468 --> 00:42:42,804 Six months in Miami, I return to the The Twilight Zone. 695 00:42:44,931 --> 00:42:46,808 You've had faith in me all these years. 696 00:42:47,017 --> 00:42:49,895 What better way to show my thanks to my mother-in-law... 697 00:42:50,103 --> 00:42:53,565 ...than to... - Rub her nose in it. I get it. 698 00:42:53,774 --> 00:42:56,735 You made good. I'm impressed. Okay? 699 00:42:57,486 --> 00:42:58,528 Okay. Thank you. 700 00:43:05,744 --> 00:43:07,662 Gentlemen, would you excuse me? 701 00:43:09,164 --> 00:43:10,457 There's Samantha! 702 00:43:10,665 --> 00:43:12,084 - Great. - What? 703 00:43:12,334 --> 00:43:15,629 I feel so schlumpy around her. Do I have dog hair on me? 704 00:43:15,879 --> 00:43:17,297 Hello, James. 705 00:43:17,547 --> 00:43:20,175 This is my mother-in-law. Rosie, Samantha. 706 00:43:20,384 --> 00:43:22,761 - How do you do? - Hello. 707 00:43:22,969 --> 00:43:26,640 - And you know my wife, Mollie. - Yes, of course, Mollie. 708 00:43:26,890 --> 00:43:29,851 - Nice to see you again. - Did you ever find a job? 709 00:43:31,895 --> 00:43:34,272 I'm starving. Let's order. 710 00:43:34,481 --> 00:43:35,649 Do try the duck. 711 00:43:35,899 --> 00:43:39,152 Samantha ought to know. She recommended the place. 712 00:43:39,528 --> 00:43:40,445 You did? 713 00:43:41,321 --> 00:43:44,157 How else would we get into a place like this? 714 00:43:46,284 --> 00:43:47,661 - Thank you. - My pleasure. 715 00:43:47,869 --> 00:43:50,414 Have a lovely, lovely evening. 716 00:43:50,664 --> 00:43:52,416 Nice jacket. 717 00:43:52,666 --> 00:43:56,253 She's teasing me. She bought this jacket for me. 718 00:43:57,379 --> 00:43:58,755 She bought it for you? 719 00:43:59,047 --> 00:44:01,508 We were in France, at a fancy restaurant. 720 00:44:01,717 --> 00:44:06,471 I couldn't wear my uniform, so she had her driver buy me this jacket. 721 00:44:08,306 --> 00:44:09,808 Of course. 722 00:44:11,018 --> 00:44:13,979 Gosh, she forgot her pocketbook. Hey, Samantha! 723 00:44:16,857 --> 00:44:19,943 Is it just me, or was she... 724 00:44:20,193 --> 00:44:22,320 I wanted to slap her teeth out. 725 00:44:22,529 --> 00:44:23,822 It's obvious, isn't it? 726 00:44:24,072 --> 00:44:26,950 She practically offered him Taster's Choice. 727 00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:28,618 I don't know what to do. 728 00:44:29,036 --> 00:44:31,538 I know people. We could have her audited. 729 00:44:32,289 --> 00:44:35,042 That is not a good idea. It's my fault anyway. 730 00:44:35,292 --> 00:44:38,795 I pushed him to make him exactly what I wanted him to be. 731 00:44:39,046 --> 00:44:40,964 And now he is. I hate it. 732 00:44:41,173 --> 00:44:43,091 He's a keeper. Talk to him. 733 00:44:43,550 --> 00:44:44,968 I know it. 734 00:44:45,677 --> 00:44:46,720 Can you excuse me? 735 00:44:46,928 --> 00:44:49,848 Good. Make a scene. Here, throw this in her face. 736 00:44:50,057 --> 00:44:52,976 Ma, I am just gonna call the sitter. 737 00:44:58,231 --> 00:44:59,274 Hello? 738 00:45:00,484 --> 00:45:02,569 Yeah, everything's cool. 739 00:45:02,819 --> 00:45:04,446 All right, bye. 740 00:45:07,824 --> 00:45:09,493 You hooligans. 741 00:45:09,701 --> 00:45:11,995 Well, what do you do for fun? Shed? 742 00:45:12,245 --> 00:45:15,499 At least I don't have vermin building condos in my fur. 743 00:45:15,707 --> 00:45:19,836 At this rate, you won't have fur. That kid's giving you a bald spot. 744 00:45:20,045 --> 00:45:23,465 My mistress is kind. Your child is demon spawn. 745 00:45:23,673 --> 00:45:25,175 "Your child is demon spawn." 746 00:45:25,384 --> 00:45:28,678 Quit brushing her. She already looks like a Q-tip. 747 00:45:28,887 --> 00:45:30,764 Your dog smells like a diaper. 748 00:45:30,972 --> 00:45:33,225 - Does not. - Diaper dog! Diaper dog! 749 00:45:33,433 --> 00:45:34,893 Q-tip-head dog. 750 00:45:35,102 --> 00:45:36,186 Stinky dog! 751 00:45:36,395 --> 00:45:37,813 Bald-butted dog. 752 00:45:42,275 --> 00:45:44,277 I got it! It's mine. No problem. 753 00:45:47,364 --> 00:45:48,573 I'm homeless! 754 00:45:53,036 --> 00:45:54,079 What happened? 755 00:45:54,287 --> 00:45:55,706 You mongrel wretch! 756 00:45:55,914 --> 00:45:59,042 - Get real. It's just a box, Daffy. - Daphne! 757 00:45:59,251 --> 00:46:00,585 Come on. I'm sorry. 758 00:46:00,836 --> 00:46:03,964 - Look, I can fix it. - I never want to see you again! 759 00:46:04,172 --> 00:46:05,757 It'll be tough. I live here. 760 00:46:06,007 --> 00:46:08,552 We'll just see about that! 761 00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:09,845 Let's see. 762 00:46:10,095 --> 00:46:15,142 She yells the most when he gets the ones in boxes. 763 00:46:16,184 --> 00:46:18,478 What does he see in these smelly things? 764 00:46:18,687 --> 00:46:23,442 Courage, Daphne, courage. You'll be rid of him soon. 765 00:46:23,650 --> 00:46:28,363 You think there's nothing weird about buying someone dinner and clothing? 766 00:46:28,572 --> 00:46:31,825 If a guy asks me to Le Cirque and buys me a teddy, it's okay? 767 00:46:32,075 --> 00:46:35,370 A jacket's not a teddy. This is a teddy. 768 00:46:36,288 --> 00:46:40,000 I'm trying not to be a shrew and scream and hate her guts. 769 00:46:40,250 --> 00:46:44,171 Although I wouldn't mind seeing her decomposing body by the river. 770 00:46:44,421 --> 00:46:46,965 You don't have to socialize with her. 771 00:46:47,215 --> 00:46:49,384 Just keep your eyes on the road... 772 00:46:49,634 --> 00:46:52,721 ...or the sky or whatever you keep your eyes on. 773 00:46:52,971 --> 00:46:55,849 Answer me this: Why is it that I can trust you... 774 00:46:56,099 --> 00:46:59,353 ...when you had an affair with a married client? 775 00:46:59,561 --> 00:47:02,689 That was 8 billion years ago! I never see him. 776 00:47:02,939 --> 00:47:06,485 How do I know that? I can only trust. I have faith in you. 777 00:47:06,693 --> 00:47:09,613 You don't have much faith if you keep bringing it up. 778 00:47:09,821 --> 00:47:14,785 I don't keep on bringing... Oh, honey, listen to us. 779 00:47:14,993 --> 00:47:17,079 After six years, we're still jealous. 780 00:47:17,287 --> 00:47:19,790 - Isn't that good? - I don't know. 781 00:47:20,582 --> 00:47:24,211 It's you I like. It's not Samantha. 782 00:47:24,461 --> 00:47:25,962 I like you. 783 00:47:26,213 --> 00:47:29,383 Honey, I'm crazy about you. I love you so much. 784 00:47:29,633 --> 00:47:33,762 Watch out for her. She's real flirty. I know about girls like that. 785 00:47:34,012 --> 00:47:35,430 I was one. 786 00:47:36,098 --> 00:47:38,642 - Okay. I promise. - Okay. 787 00:47:42,979 --> 00:47:43,897 He did it! 788 00:47:44,147 --> 00:47:46,233 Mom, it was her fault. 789 00:47:47,609 --> 00:47:48,777 I'll put them to bed. 790 00:47:49,027 --> 00:47:52,531 Honey, don't ruin it. Don't ruin the moment. 791 00:47:58,578 --> 00:48:00,706 - I don't want to go. - You have to go. 792 00:48:00,956 --> 00:48:04,209 - But you don't trust me. - I do. I do trust you. 793 00:48:05,836 --> 00:48:07,754 I don't trust her. 794 00:48:10,465 --> 00:48:12,384 You two, come on. 795 00:50:05,372 --> 00:50:06,331 Hi, honey. 796 00:50:06,540 --> 00:50:08,291 - Where are you? - I'm in London. 797 00:50:08,583 --> 00:50:10,502 I'm in San Francisco, honey. 798 00:50:10,711 --> 00:50:12,254 I'm in Reno. 799 00:50:14,214 --> 00:50:15,716 We're in Dallas. 800 00:50:15,966 --> 00:50:19,428 What do you mean I'm being audited? It's not even tax season! 801 00:50:40,991 --> 00:50:42,909 Mom? Where's Dad? 802 00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:44,786 He'll be home soon. 803 00:50:45,620 --> 00:50:48,331 Will he be here for Christmas? 804 00:50:48,915 --> 00:50:52,544 Your dad wouldn't miss Christmas for all the stars in the sky. 805 00:50:52,794 --> 00:50:54,588 What about the moon? 806 00:50:56,673 --> 00:50:58,341 The moon too. 807 00:50:59,634 --> 00:51:00,677 Bedtime. 808 00:51:00,927 --> 00:51:02,512 Bedtime. 809 00:51:10,062 --> 00:51:12,731 - I love you. - I love you too. 810 00:51:20,113 --> 00:51:21,281 Good night. 811 00:52:16,211 --> 00:52:18,630 - She thinks we're in Dallas? - She bought it. 812 00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:20,716 - Dumb cow! - Dumb cow! 813 00:52:35,397 --> 00:52:39,067 And what do you want for Christmas, little boy? 814 00:52:43,030 --> 00:52:45,240 Well, Mollie... 815 00:52:45,490 --> 00:52:48,535 ...I never asked you what you want for Christmas. 816 00:52:49,327 --> 00:52:54,458 Santa, I can't think of any present I'd rather have than you. 817 00:52:57,753 --> 00:52:59,129 Oh, Albert! 818 00:53:01,882 --> 00:53:04,926 Come here, you studmuffin! 819 00:53:39,419 --> 00:53:42,464 Honey, what are we doing? 820 00:53:42,964 --> 00:53:46,676 I don't know. This isn't us. We'd never do this. 821 00:53:46,927 --> 00:53:48,762 Do you think we're dreaming? 822 00:53:49,012 --> 00:53:52,057 I think it's one where you know you're dreaming. 823 00:53:57,312 --> 00:54:00,899 Excuse me, but we were having an affair. 824 00:54:02,025 --> 00:54:05,612 Does this mean we can do whatever we want to do in the dream? 825 00:54:06,530 --> 00:54:08,657 Excuse me. 826 00:54:20,043 --> 00:54:22,713 You see that? I told you they weren't real. 827 00:54:28,844 --> 00:54:31,680 Honey, you know I can't dance. 828 00:54:31,888 --> 00:54:34,307 You can dance. This is our dream. 829 00:55:44,336 --> 00:55:46,380 Oh, James. 830 00:55:46,630 --> 00:55:49,591 Ex cuse me. Mistress? Please wake up. 831 00:55:49,841 --> 00:55:53,428 I need to be walked quite badly as a matter of fact. 832 00:55:53,679 --> 00:55:56,139 Oh, well, I'm a lady. I can hold it. 833 00:55:56,348 --> 00:55:59,685 No, I can't, I'm desperate! Oh, God, she's in a coma. 834 00:55:59,893 --> 00:56:01,228 Please wake up! 835 00:56:01,436 --> 00:56:05,565 I can't have an accident like a common mutt. It's too demeaning. 836 00:56:05,816 --> 00:56:09,152 Baby, you are so jumpy. Let her alone. She looks happy. 837 00:56:09,361 --> 00:56:11,071 Well, what am I supposed to do? 838 00:56:11,780 --> 00:56:13,532 - I'll take you out. - But how? 839 00:56:14,032 --> 00:56:15,325 Come on. 840 00:56:16,118 --> 00:56:18,704 But we need a master to open the door. 841 00:56:18,954 --> 00:56:20,330 Want to bet? 842 00:56:22,290 --> 00:56:23,500 How did you do that? 843 00:56:23,750 --> 00:56:25,794 I know things not taught in school. 844 00:56:26,044 --> 00:56:27,963 Ex cuse me. I was valedictorian. 845 00:56:28,213 --> 00:56:29,756 Give it up, kid. Come on! 846 00:56:29,965 --> 00:56:31,174 What about my leash? 847 00:56:31,383 --> 00:56:33,468 You haven't lived till you try it naked. 848 00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:35,429 Don't get fresh! 849 00:56:39,558 --> 00:56:42,060 - How about dinner out? - I'm not hungry. 850 00:56:42,310 --> 00:56:46,398 You dolls always say that. Forget your diet. Let's get Italian. 851 00:56:46,648 --> 00:56:49,985 No. I'm so fat these days, I look like an English sheepdog. 852 00:56:50,193 --> 00:56:51,778 You nuts? You look great. 853 00:56:51,987 --> 00:56:56,074 When I was young, I had one of those greyhound hardbodies. 854 00:56:56,283 --> 00:56:59,703 - What do you mean? You're a kid. - Well, I'm pushing 7. 855 00:56:59,911 --> 00:57:02,539 Seven? You don't look a day over 5. 856 00:57:02,748 --> 00:57:05,959 Do you really think so? Well, maybe a little Chinese. 857 00:57:06,168 --> 00:57:08,086 I know just the place. Follow me. 858 00:57:10,964 --> 00:57:13,633 Wait until you taste their moo goo gai pan. 859 00:57:13,884 --> 00:57:15,719 - Great. - Hope it's on the menu. 860 00:57:15,969 --> 00:57:18,347 But wait. Where are the dog dishes? 861 00:57:18,555 --> 00:57:20,265 We don't need no dog dishes. 862 00:57:20,474 --> 00:57:22,893 - What are you doing? - Getting us takeout. 863 00:57:23,268 --> 00:57:24,353 How clever. 864 00:57:24,978 --> 00:57:28,231 The green tea ice cream goes great with lobster sauce. 865 00:57:28,482 --> 00:57:30,400 - Oh, ex cuse me. - Good, huh? 866 00:57:33,236 --> 00:57:35,739 What do you think about the world at large? 867 00:57:35,947 --> 00:57:40,619 I must admit, there's a certain exhilaration to this leash-less state. 868 00:57:40,827 --> 00:57:45,040 When I think about it, Samantha never let me run free, or petted me... 869 00:57:45,290 --> 00:57:49,586 ... or played with me. Actually, I never liked her. You know what else? 870 00:57:49,795 --> 00:57:54,383 I hate this haircut. My butt is freezing! 871 00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:57,928 Nice butt. No offense, no offense! 872 00:58:00,931 --> 00:58:03,350 It's getting bright out. We should get back. 873 00:58:03,558 --> 00:58:06,687 - It's only the shank of the evening. - We really should. 874 00:58:06,937 --> 00:58:08,980 All right. I know a shortcut. 875 00:58:09,189 --> 00:58:11,441 - Through that? - Yeah. 876 00:58:11,650 --> 00:58:13,110 Wait a minute. What is it? 877 00:58:13,318 --> 00:58:16,071 Mud. You never seen mud before? 878 00:58:16,279 --> 00:58:19,700 It's mud. When the wet stuff comes down and hits the dirt. 879 00:58:20,450 --> 00:58:22,661 - Dirt? - Oh, you have been sheltered. 880 00:58:22,911 --> 00:58:25,747 I won't lie: It's not the highlight of our evening. 881 00:58:25,956 --> 00:58:28,625 Just gotta grit your teeth and slog through it. 882 00:58:28,834 --> 00:58:32,963 Oh, no, no, no. There is absolutely no possible way I could... 883 00:58:34,297 --> 00:58:35,424 Firm... 884 00:58:35,632 --> 00:58:38,468 ... yet squishy. 885 00:58:38,802 --> 00:58:40,053 Yeah. I'm sorry. 886 00:58:40,470 --> 00:58:43,015 Sorry? I like it! 887 00:58:43,265 --> 00:58:46,810 The oozy gooey-ness of it. It's so... 888 00:58:47,019 --> 00:58:48,437 ... sensual! 889 00:58:48,687 --> 00:58:51,189 - It's glorious! - It's mud. 890 00:58:51,940 --> 00:58:53,191 - Play with me! - Now? 891 00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:55,527 Play with me in the mud! 892 00:58:55,736 --> 00:58:57,779 You're a wild thing! 893 00:59:02,284 --> 00:59:04,870 This is totally filthy! 894 00:59:12,252 --> 00:59:15,422 By the way, I never asked you... What's your name? 895 00:59:15,630 --> 00:59:17,591 Me? They call me "No." 896 00:59:17,799 --> 00:59:22,929 Silly. "No" isn't your name! That's what they say when you're bad. 897 00:59:23,305 --> 00:59:26,558 No. What's another word they say all the time to you? 898 00:59:26,850 --> 00:59:28,685 There's that "Rocks" thing. 899 00:59:28,894 --> 00:59:31,396 Rocks! That's it. That's your name. 900 00:59:31,646 --> 00:59:33,732 You are one smart cookie, you know? 901 00:59:33,940 --> 00:59:35,359 You finally noticed. 902 00:59:35,609 --> 00:59:38,236 Well, be cool. Here comes the doorman. 903 00:59:43,450 --> 00:59:45,702 Permit me to walk you to your door. 904 00:59:45,952 --> 00:59:47,871 I almost hate for this to end. 905 00:59:48,455 --> 00:59:52,376 Well, Rocks, thank you for a wonderful evening. 906 00:59:52,584 --> 00:59:54,669 It's so ex citing out there. 907 00:59:55,337 --> 00:59:58,131 But it's nice to have a warm place to come back to. 908 00:59:58,590 --> 01:00:03,011 Where you don't fight for food, and people don't throw you into trucks. 909 01:00:03,220 --> 01:00:05,555 - You mean home? - Is that what this is? 910 01:00:05,764 --> 01:00:07,265 It's our home. 911 01:00:07,808 --> 01:00:09,768 Yeah. Home. 912 01:00:09,976 --> 01:00:12,396 - I like the ring of that. - No! 913 01:00:13,814 --> 01:00:17,567 Rocks! You have eaten your last shoe around this house! 914 01:00:17,818 --> 01:00:19,444 - Oh, no. - What'd I do? 915 01:00:19,695 --> 01:00:22,239 - You are out of here! - No! 916 01:00:22,489 --> 01:00:25,951 Mike, hold on. Honey, open the door. 917 01:00:26,326 --> 01:00:29,287 Mike, will you please open the door? 918 01:00:29,496 --> 01:00:31,540 I want Daddy! 919 01:00:35,419 --> 01:00:37,421 Merry Christmas, guys. 920 01:00:37,671 --> 01:00:41,383 Merry Christmas, Tom. Merry Christmas, Dave. 921 01:00:42,843 --> 01:00:45,095 Merry Christmas, Samantha. 922 01:00:48,223 --> 01:00:50,934 Oh, dear. This is going to be difficult. 923 01:00:51,184 --> 01:00:54,688 I spoke to Conti. After swearing he'd keep all our people... 924 01:00:54,896 --> 01:00:57,065 ...he now won't go through with the merger... 925 01:00:57,274 --> 01:00:59,276 ...unless I let go of 3000 of them. 926 01:00:59,484 --> 01:01:02,529 You're kidding. Well, can't you do anything about it? 927 01:01:03,113 --> 01:01:06,783 Well, I have this one chance. He has this cabin upstate. 928 01:01:06,992 --> 01:01:11,371 He wants me to go there, plead my case this afternoon. 929 01:01:12,164 --> 01:01:16,043 Oh, Samantha, it's Christmas Eve. I can't. 930 01:01:16,251 --> 01:01:18,086 I know. Believe me, I know. 931 01:01:18,295 --> 01:01:22,340 If there was any other way, but, I mean, 3000 people? 932 01:01:24,801 --> 01:01:27,054 Be right back. Ralph! 933 01:01:29,264 --> 01:01:31,433 Ralph, you're current on the Falcon, right? 934 01:01:31,641 --> 01:01:32,893 No. No way. 935 01:01:33,143 --> 01:01:35,729 - Don, I know you are. - Christmas Eve, man. 936 01:01:35,937 --> 01:01:38,273 - Bill, I'll give you $500. - I can't. 937 01:01:38,482 --> 01:01:40,359 - 600. - Hell, I'll do it. 938 01:01:40,609 --> 01:01:42,110 - 750. - We're married. 939 01:01:42,319 --> 01:01:45,364 We want to stay that way. Jerry might do it. He's single. 940 01:01:45,572 --> 01:01:47,657 Too late. He's on the runway. 941 01:01:48,658 --> 01:01:52,079 Jerry! Stop! Jerry, stop! 942 01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:01,004 Honey, I'm really sorry. 943 01:02:01,838 --> 01:02:04,841 I did everything I could to try to get out of this. 944 01:02:05,050 --> 01:02:07,511 My parents will be here in less than an hour. 945 01:02:07,761 --> 01:02:11,515 I'm still peeling potatoes and a sock's stuck in the garbage disposal. 946 01:02:11,723 --> 01:02:13,558 I'll take care of it later. 947 01:02:13,767 --> 01:02:17,062 And I'll be there for dinner, I promise. 948 01:02:17,354 --> 01:02:18,647 Can I talk to Mikey? 949 01:02:18,855 --> 01:02:22,693 Yes. Mike, it's your dad! 950 01:02:28,281 --> 01:02:30,033 - Hello. - Hey, Mike. 951 01:02:30,575 --> 01:02:34,287 I know that you're not feeling so good right now, but... 952 01:02:34,496 --> 01:02:35,580 When will you be home? 953 01:02:36,123 --> 01:02:37,874 I'll be home very soon. 954 01:02:38,208 --> 01:02:39,418 I want you now. 955 01:02:39,626 --> 01:02:40,877 I want to be there too. 956 01:02:41,086 --> 01:02:44,798 Hey, do you think Santa would keep us apart on Christmas Eve? 957 01:02:45,257 --> 01:02:47,676 I mean, no way. Right? 958 01:02:48,635 --> 01:02:50,012 Here's Julie. 959 01:02:52,723 --> 01:02:53,765 Hi, Daddy. 960 01:02:54,141 --> 01:02:56,143 - Knock, knock. - Who's there? 961 01:02:56,351 --> 01:02:57,519 - Mary. - Mary who? 962 01:02:57,728 --> 01:02:59,521 Merry Christmas, Daddy! 963 01:03:04,401 --> 01:03:06,903 - Hi, Rocks. - How you doing, kid? 964 01:03:08,447 --> 01:03:10,657 I'm sorry. Mom won't let you in the house. 965 01:03:10,907 --> 01:03:13,744 It's not like I never spent the night outside before. 966 01:03:15,829 --> 01:03:18,206 Why'd you have to go and chew on her shoes? 967 01:03:18,415 --> 01:03:21,877 It was me, Rocks. I did it. 968 01:03:22,210 --> 01:03:24,421 - I set you up. - I know. 969 01:03:25,088 --> 01:03:29,468 But it was before we... Oh, I'd give anything to take it back. 970 01:03:29,718 --> 01:03:31,928 Mom says you have to go away. 971 01:03:32,179 --> 01:03:36,308 It was only a matter of time. This home stuff was too good to last. 972 01:03:36,892 --> 01:03:40,062 Mom says someday I can get another dog. 973 01:03:40,896 --> 01:03:44,733 But I don't want another dog. You're my dog. 974 01:03:45,734 --> 01:03:49,279 It's okay, kid. I don't belong here. 975 01:03:49,488 --> 01:03:52,616 You're nice people. You deserve a classy dog like Daph. 976 01:03:52,866 --> 01:03:54,534 She's got looks, brains. 977 01:03:54,910 --> 01:03:56,953 Brains aren't everything. 978 01:03:58,372 --> 01:04:01,124 I may not be smart, but I know I'm out of here. 979 01:04:01,375 --> 01:04:04,711 You are smart. If you'd pay attention, you could learn... 980 01:04:04,920 --> 01:04:06,588 ... everything they'd want you to. 981 01:04:06,797 --> 01:04:09,299 What do you mean, tricks? It's too late. 982 01:04:09,549 --> 01:04:12,886 Not with America's most overtrained dog as your teacher. 983 01:04:23,188 --> 01:04:26,566 - Well, here we are. - Do you mind if I use the phone? 984 01:04:26,942 --> 01:04:30,946 Oh, no. There's one downstairs in the kitchen, to the right. 985 01:04:45,293 --> 01:04:47,671 This line is dead. Do you have another line? 986 01:04:47,921 --> 01:04:52,009 There's a fax machine here. Oh, what's this? 987 01:04:52,384 --> 01:04:56,805 It's from Conti. You read it. I can't see without my glasses. 988 01:04:58,223 --> 01:05:01,643 "Won't be in until late tonight, possibly first thing tomorrow. 989 01:05:01,893 --> 01:05:04,521 Don't leave. Please make yourself at home." 990 01:05:05,230 --> 01:05:06,481 Oh, man. 991 01:05:08,150 --> 01:05:10,569 - This is dead too. - Damn! 992 01:05:10,777 --> 01:05:12,654 I gotta go. I better stop the driver. 993 01:05:12,904 --> 01:05:15,157 - He's gone. - He's gone? 994 01:05:16,450 --> 01:05:18,744 I can't miss my family's Christmas. 995 01:05:18,994 --> 01:05:22,247 James, I feel absolutely ghastly about this. 996 01:05:22,497 --> 01:05:23,749 Scotch? 997 01:05:25,375 --> 01:05:28,587 Let's start with something easy. "Sit" is very popular. 998 01:05:28,795 --> 01:05:30,547 - You've heard it? - Sounds familiar. 999 01:05:30,839 --> 01:05:34,134 Okay. Front paws stiff. Butt on floor. 1000 01:05:34,343 --> 01:05:36,136 That's all there is to it. 1001 01:05:36,386 --> 01:05:38,513 That's what they've been babbling about? 1002 01:05:38,764 --> 01:05:42,267 What can I say? It's a power trip. Uh-oh, busted. 1003 01:05:42,517 --> 01:05:45,771 Hey, kid's mom! Let's do the "sit" thing. 1004 01:05:45,979 --> 01:05:47,773 Hey, come over here. Ask me. 1005 01:05:49,399 --> 01:05:50,817 What's with you? 1006 01:05:52,152 --> 01:05:53,779 You're being affectionate? 1007 01:05:55,238 --> 01:05:56,448 Try guilty. 1008 01:05:56,698 --> 01:06:00,452 Well, you do have a sweet side, don't you? 1009 01:06:00,702 --> 01:06:02,079 Yeah. 1010 01:06:02,329 --> 01:06:03,955 Please don't send Rocks away. 1011 01:06:04,206 --> 01:06:08,502 Here! Over here! Look, look, see? I got this "sit" thing nailed. 1012 01:06:08,710 --> 01:06:11,963 He's decent, loyal. Everything I'm not. 1013 01:06:12,172 --> 01:06:13,215 What? 1014 01:06:13,840 --> 01:06:16,051 What, do you miss Rocks? 1015 01:06:17,135 --> 01:06:18,387 I thought you hated him. 1016 01:06:18,595 --> 01:06:20,847 Once you get past the fleas, he's charming. 1017 01:06:21,098 --> 01:06:23,600 That's the way it goes, isn't it? 1018 01:06:23,809 --> 01:06:26,061 First, you think they're not good enough. 1019 01:06:27,270 --> 01:06:31,483 Then they grow on you, and then you can't live without them. 1020 01:06:32,401 --> 01:06:34,111 Ain't it the truth. 1021 01:06:40,325 --> 01:06:43,954 Look, I'm just gonna walk into town and rent a car, okay? 1022 01:06:44,162 --> 01:06:45,789 I'll be home in a few hours. 1023 01:06:46,039 --> 01:06:49,126 Okay, whatever you want to do, but... 1024 01:06:49,376 --> 01:06:52,504 ...do you think you ought to walk 10 miles in that? 1025 01:07:12,024 --> 01:07:15,902 That's him! That's my husband! 1026 01:07:30,834 --> 01:07:35,464 Oh, yeah? Well, a Merry Christmas to you too, you rude bimbo! 1027 01:07:35,672 --> 01:07:37,424 There's the holiday spirit. 1028 01:07:37,674 --> 01:07:40,761 Samantha's office won't give me the number where they are. 1029 01:07:41,011 --> 01:07:43,430 They're treating me like I'm some wacko! 1030 01:07:45,265 --> 01:07:46,558 I know what I'll do. 1031 01:07:46,767 --> 01:07:51,521 I'll call Mr. Conti. I bet his secretary will tell me where they are. 1032 01:07:58,028 --> 01:08:00,364 Mr. Conti's office. 1033 01:08:01,615 --> 01:08:03,283 What cabin? 1034 01:08:04,743 --> 01:08:07,829 I'm sorry. There must be some mistake. 1035 01:08:08,080 --> 01:08:12,417 Mr. Conti is in the Bahamas with his family. 1036 01:08:18,882 --> 01:08:22,886 James better hurry. That bird's ready to come out. 1037 01:08:23,136 --> 01:08:26,807 He doesn't need to hurry, Mother. He's having an affair. 1038 01:08:27,474 --> 01:08:30,394 - What? - There is no meeting. 1039 01:08:30,644 --> 01:08:34,022 He and Ms. Fortune 500 are shacked up... 1040 01:08:34,231 --> 01:08:36,024 ...in some cabin upstate. 1041 01:08:36,274 --> 01:08:40,570 So while I am here, peeling thousands of little pearl onions... 1042 01:08:40,821 --> 01:08:44,950 ...because he loves them, he's having an affair on Christmas Eve. 1043 01:08:45,200 --> 01:08:49,246 Come on, now. You don't believe that. 1044 01:08:49,496 --> 01:08:51,832 Well, Mother, what would you believe? 1045 01:08:52,040 --> 01:08:55,210 Sweetie, you remember in the war... 1046 01:08:55,460 --> 01:08:59,256 ...when your father's ship was shelled and he was on that island? 1047 01:08:59,506 --> 01:09:03,635 For 17 days, then he was rescued. What does that have to do with this? 1048 01:09:03,885 --> 01:09:07,514 What you don't know was he was on that island alone... 1049 01:09:07,764 --> 01:09:10,600 ...with 13 USO girls. 1050 01:09:10,851 --> 01:09:14,146 God forbid, it wasn't Bob Hope. 1051 01:09:14,438 --> 01:09:16,648 Those girls had been around the block... 1052 01:09:16,898 --> 01:09:21,445 ...and remember, your father was a devastatingly handsome man. 1053 01:09:23,530 --> 01:09:25,032 That's beautiful. 1054 01:09:29,745 --> 01:09:33,040 Go on, Mother. So, what happened? 1055 01:09:33,290 --> 01:09:35,876 Nothing. At least he swore nothing happened. 1056 01:09:36,084 --> 01:09:38,128 Said they played gin rummy the whole time. 1057 01:09:38,378 --> 01:09:40,881 - And you believed him? - Of course not. 1058 01:09:41,131 --> 01:09:42,507 Well, Mother! 1059 01:09:42,716 --> 01:09:45,552 Now, wait. Later I met some of the girls. 1060 01:09:45,802 --> 01:09:50,265 It turned out that he hadn't played gin rummy the whole time. 1061 01:09:50,515 --> 01:09:52,517 All he did the whole time... 1062 01:09:52,726 --> 01:09:55,187 ...was talk about me. 1063 01:09:55,395 --> 01:09:58,357 And I believed them. 1064 01:10:00,942 --> 01:10:02,944 Now, in your heart... 1065 01:10:03,195 --> 01:10:07,741 ...do you really believe that James would cheat on you? 1066 01:10:20,087 --> 01:10:24,424 Well, James, since we're stuck here, we might as well relax. 1067 01:10:27,219 --> 01:10:28,261 Isn't it great? 1068 01:10:35,143 --> 01:10:36,478 This isn't good. 1069 01:10:36,770 --> 01:10:37,813 What? 1070 01:10:38,355 --> 01:10:41,191 What is this? This all seems like some kind of... 1071 01:10:41,400 --> 01:10:42,984 Some sort of what? 1072 01:10:50,158 --> 01:10:52,285 Oh, I'm so embarrassed. 1073 01:10:52,536 --> 01:10:55,664 You think I planned this as some sort of... Oh, God. 1074 01:10:55,872 --> 01:11:00,752 God, I'm wrong! Oh, man! To even think you'd go for a guy like me! 1075 01:11:01,002 --> 01:11:02,045 Sit down. 1076 01:11:02,254 --> 01:11:06,299 I am so stupid! You probably have someone like... 1077 01:11:06,508 --> 01:11:09,678 ...Prince Charles in a condo, waiting for you somewhere. 1078 01:11:09,928 --> 01:11:14,516 No. And no, I didn't have any plans for tonight. 1079 01:11:14,725 --> 01:11:18,478 You're kidding. You were actually going to be alone for Christmas? 1080 01:11:19,021 --> 01:11:21,398 - I'm used to it. - I can't believe it. 1081 01:11:21,648 --> 01:11:24,443 When I was little, I was usually at boarding school. 1082 01:11:24,860 --> 01:11:26,111 Where were your folks? 1083 01:11:26,445 --> 01:11:30,240 - Oh, I don't know. Skiing. - Instead of being with their kid? 1084 01:11:31,033 --> 01:11:35,454 Their parents did it to them, they did it to me. It was fine. 1085 01:11:35,704 --> 01:11:39,708 I also had a lot of advantages. I went to the best schools. 1086 01:11:39,958 --> 01:11:42,669 I could speak 4 languages by the time I was 15. 1087 01:11:43,754 --> 01:11:46,381 When I was 15, I was flunking English. 1088 01:11:47,090 --> 01:11:49,134 I suppose I did wonder about... 1089 01:11:49,384 --> 01:11:53,263 Well, you know, regular high school. Boys. 1090 01:11:54,181 --> 01:11:57,434 - Dances. That kind of thing. - You didn't go to dances? 1091 01:11:57,642 --> 01:12:01,188 No. If I'm really honest, I actually don't know how. 1092 01:12:01,396 --> 01:12:03,273 Come on. Everybody can dance. 1093 01:12:03,482 --> 01:12:05,400 - Everybody cannot dance! - They can. 1094 01:12:05,650 --> 01:12:08,028 - No, they cannot! - It's easy. 1095 01:12:12,908 --> 01:12:14,159 What's wrong? 1096 01:12:14,451 --> 01:12:15,494 Nothing. 1097 01:12:15,702 --> 01:12:17,287 He's not coming, is he? 1098 01:12:17,746 --> 01:12:20,791 Oh, honey, he's trying real hard to get back tonight. 1099 01:12:21,291 --> 01:12:23,335 I knew it. He's not coming back. 1100 01:12:23,585 --> 01:12:27,881 Let's go and open some of the gifts that Grandma and Grandpa brought. 1101 01:12:28,090 --> 01:12:29,841 I'm sure Santa wouldn't mind. 1102 01:12:30,050 --> 01:12:32,052 - There is no Santa! - What? 1103 01:12:32,636 --> 01:12:34,346 There is no Santa. 1104 01:12:34,596 --> 01:12:35,889 Now, you stop that! 1105 01:12:36,098 --> 01:12:39,351 If there was, wouldn't he let Daddy be with us? 1106 01:12:39,851 --> 01:12:43,563 - What's wrong? Where's Daddy? - Oh, sweetie! 1107 01:12:43,814 --> 01:12:45,816 I want my daddy. 1108 01:12:46,066 --> 01:12:47,442 Christmas stinks. 1109 01:12:47,693 --> 01:12:50,696 Everybody just hold it! I think I have an idea. 1110 01:12:51,071 --> 01:12:55,242 Let's open some presents. Look what's in this. Open this one. 1111 01:12:55,492 --> 01:12:57,452 - I don't want one. - I'll have it. 1112 01:12:57,661 --> 01:12:59,579 Ms. D'Bonne's office, please. 1113 01:13:01,206 --> 01:13:04,918 Hello. I am calling from Olympic Florist... 1114 01:13:05,168 --> 01:13:08,547 ...and I have 350 red long-stemmed roses... 1115 01:13:08,797 --> 01:13:10,799 ...to deliver to Ms. D'Bonne. 1116 01:13:11,299 --> 01:13:13,135 I need the address, please. 1117 01:13:13,427 --> 01:13:15,220 They're coming from a Mr... 1118 01:13:15,470 --> 01:13:18,807 ...James Ubriacco, Ubri... 1119 01:13:19,057 --> 01:13:22,310 Yeah, doll, that's it. That's it. 1120 01:13:25,814 --> 01:13:29,192 Good. Thanks, doll. And a Merry Christmas to you too. 1121 01:13:29,401 --> 01:13:30,736 Sucker. 1122 01:13:31,278 --> 01:13:33,989 Kids, listen to Mommy. Go in your rooms... 1123 01:13:34,197 --> 01:13:36,908 ...and put on warm clothes. We're taking a trip. 1124 01:13:37,159 --> 01:13:39,619 Daddy, will you put the presents in the car? 1125 01:13:39,870 --> 01:13:44,624 Ma, will you put the onions in some Tupperware? Come on, let's move it! 1126 01:13:44,875 --> 01:13:49,421 Go! Daddy won't come to Christmas, Christmas will come to Daddy. 1127 01:14:03,060 --> 01:14:05,437 Rocks, I don't feel so good. 1128 01:14:05,645 --> 01:14:08,690 It's fun. It's chasing without the stupid running. 1129 01:14:08,899 --> 01:14:11,276 I'm going to lose my Kibbles 'n Bits. 1130 01:14:19,326 --> 01:14:20,577 What's this? 1131 01:14:20,952 --> 01:14:24,289 Touch a present and you'll be hunting gophers for dinner. 1132 01:14:38,470 --> 01:14:39,846 I smell fruitcake! 1133 01:14:40,097 --> 01:14:42,599 - That's gotta be fruitcake. - Rocks, I said no! 1134 01:14:43,308 --> 01:14:45,185 Mom. Mom, look out! 1135 01:14:52,651 --> 01:14:54,528 Don't worry. Mommy's just playing. 1136 01:14:57,239 --> 01:14:58,865 Hang on! 1137 01:15:02,661 --> 01:15:03,704 Stop this thing! 1138 01:15:15,424 --> 01:15:17,801 Are you okay? Are you okay, honey? 1139 01:15:18,135 --> 01:15:19,302 Is everybody okay? 1140 01:15:19,553 --> 01:15:23,056 All right, good. Now, wasn't that fun? 1141 01:15:23,306 --> 01:15:24,516 No. 1142 01:15:24,766 --> 01:15:26,101 No. All right. 1143 01:15:26,476 --> 01:15:30,355 Okay. Well, tell you what we're gonna do. 1144 01:15:30,856 --> 01:15:33,734 Mommy's gonna figure out how to get us out of here. 1145 01:15:34,693 --> 01:15:36,445 - I got an idea. - What? 1146 01:15:36,737 --> 01:15:38,697 You push and I drive. 1147 01:15:38,947 --> 01:15:42,117 Really? Good. You have your driver's license with you? 1148 01:15:42,909 --> 01:15:43,744 No. 1149 01:15:43,952 --> 01:15:46,955 Okay, good try. I know. I have an idea. 1150 01:15:47,205 --> 01:15:51,668 Look, there's lots of pine cones here. I'm gonna gather some up for us. 1151 01:15:51,918 --> 01:15:54,546 - And while I do that... - I don't like pine cones. 1152 01:15:54,796 --> 01:15:56,423 Oh, you don't? 1153 01:15:57,007 --> 01:15:59,676 Well, okay, then I will get you a stick. 1154 01:15:59,926 --> 01:16:03,096 And then you guys sing and guard the presents, okay? 1155 01:16:03,347 --> 01:16:06,850 So sing a nice loud Christmas song so Mommy can hear you. 1156 01:16:21,740 --> 01:16:23,950 Now what am I gonna do? 1157 01:16:32,042 --> 01:16:34,836 Will you stop messing me up! 1158 01:16:54,940 --> 01:16:56,775 Meals on wheels. 1159 01:16:57,067 --> 01:16:59,319 Mommy found another doggie. 1160 01:16:59,528 --> 01:17:00,654 That's no dog. 1161 01:17:00,904 --> 01:17:03,407 Hey, mama, on your way to Grandma's house? 1162 01:17:04,783 --> 01:17:06,493 Hey, you! Beat it! 1163 01:17:09,621 --> 01:17:12,290 Ooh, I love the smell of fear. 1164 01:17:12,499 --> 01:17:14,209 Nice wolf. 1165 01:17:15,419 --> 01:17:17,129 I won't hurt you. 1166 01:17:19,631 --> 01:17:20,882 Nice wolf. 1167 01:17:23,010 --> 01:17:24,553 I like wolves. 1168 01:17:28,974 --> 01:17:31,018 Let me out of here! Let me out! 1169 01:17:31,226 --> 01:17:32,060 Nice wolf. 1170 01:17:33,979 --> 01:17:35,355 Come on, come on. 1171 01:17:40,318 --> 01:17:44,656 Just leave the lady alone, unless you want to get spayed the hard way. 1172 01:17:45,282 --> 01:17:48,869 He talks the talk, but can he walk the walk? 1173 01:17:50,912 --> 01:17:53,206 Back off, this ain't your business. 1174 01:17:53,457 --> 01:17:55,709 The hell it ain't. That's my family. 1175 01:17:55,959 --> 01:17:59,671 Remember when Mommy told you the story about Peter and the wolf? 1176 01:17:59,921 --> 01:18:04,885 Well, there's the wolf. Where is that crazy Peter when you need him? 1177 01:18:18,231 --> 01:18:19,858 Rocks! 1178 01:18:46,927 --> 01:18:49,054 Rocks! Oh, no! No! 1179 01:18:53,850 --> 01:18:55,102 Rip his throat out! 1180 01:18:57,479 --> 01:18:59,773 Ow! My tail! 1181 01:19:00,190 --> 01:19:03,235 Never mess with a street dog, you wuss. 1182 01:19:14,371 --> 01:19:17,541 Rocks, you're hurt! Look at your paws and your ears. 1183 01:19:17,749 --> 01:19:21,420 Your little ears. And your neck. What did that animal do to you? 1184 01:19:21,628 --> 01:19:23,505 - It's nothing. - Oh, sweetheart. 1185 01:19:23,714 --> 01:19:26,091 Sweetheart? Oh, baby! 1186 01:19:29,594 --> 01:19:31,847 Hey, I smell kid's dad. Up this way. 1187 01:19:32,097 --> 01:19:33,223 The master? 1188 01:19:33,432 --> 01:19:35,809 But you're hurt. Come back to the car. 1189 01:19:36,018 --> 01:19:38,770 - We gotta get them help. - Then I'm going too. 1190 01:19:39,021 --> 01:19:42,274 - No, you're a house dog. - I've still got my animal instincts. 1191 01:19:42,524 --> 01:19:44,901 All right. Go back that way and get help. 1192 01:19:45,152 --> 01:19:47,696 All right. Which way? 1193 01:19:47,904 --> 01:19:50,866 - You gotta sniff for people. - Sniff? 1194 01:19:51,116 --> 01:19:53,577 - Stick your nose in the air and suck. - What? 1195 01:19:53,785 --> 01:19:57,080 Mommy's gotta go get the dogs before they run away. 1196 01:19:57,622 --> 01:20:01,043 - Take care of yourself. - Don't worry about me. 1197 01:20:01,501 --> 01:20:03,170 Sniff. No, that's snort. 1198 01:20:05,172 --> 01:20:07,090 Rocks! Here, boy! 1199 01:20:07,341 --> 01:20:08,592 Come on, guys! 1200 01:20:08,842 --> 01:20:11,470 - Where'd they go? - Daphne! Here, girl! 1201 01:20:11,678 --> 01:20:13,597 Maybe they went to the bathroom. 1202 01:20:13,847 --> 01:20:17,309 They should have gone to the bathroom before we left, right? 1203 01:20:17,517 --> 01:20:18,977 That's right. 1204 01:20:19,478 --> 01:20:20,854 Rocks, come back! 1205 01:20:21,104 --> 01:20:23,774 - Daphne! - Let's get back in the car. 1206 01:20:24,024 --> 01:20:25,901 - He'll come back. - Come back, girl. 1207 01:20:26,151 --> 01:20:29,237 I'll let you open a present. Whichever one you want. 1208 01:20:29,488 --> 01:20:31,073 But Rocks is hurt! 1209 01:20:31,323 --> 01:20:34,076 Honey, he'll be fine. 1210 01:20:34,451 --> 01:20:36,370 Six, seven... 1211 01:20:36,620 --> 01:20:38,413 ...eight and slow. 1212 01:20:38,663 --> 01:20:40,499 Quick, quick, slow. 1213 01:20:40,749 --> 01:20:42,584 Quick, quick, slow. 1214 01:20:46,171 --> 01:20:49,091 Good. Quick, quick, slow. Good. 1215 01:20:51,176 --> 01:20:53,595 Excellent. Good. 1216 01:21:07,234 --> 01:21:10,112 - See, you can dance. - But how do we do it like this? 1217 01:21:10,362 --> 01:21:13,198 Well, you just do it the same way. 1218 01:21:13,657 --> 01:21:14,491 Slow. 1219 01:21:14,741 --> 01:21:16,868 Quick, quick, slow. 1220 01:21:17,119 --> 01:21:19,121 Quick, quick, slow. 1221 01:21:21,456 --> 01:21:25,293 I think I'm sniffing. I'm inhaling and I'm getting nothing. 1222 01:21:25,544 --> 01:21:28,922 I'm just an inbred washout. I can't even smell... People! 1223 01:21:31,842 --> 01:21:32,718 I did it! 1224 01:21:32,968 --> 01:21:37,014 I can sniff! I am not a poodle, I am a wild, marauding beast! 1225 01:21:38,598 --> 01:21:40,726 Move it! My masters need help. 1226 01:22:01,997 --> 01:22:04,833 The phone is out, huh? You are unbelievable. 1227 01:22:05,083 --> 01:22:07,210 How dare you treat me like that? 1228 01:22:07,419 --> 01:22:09,713 Easy. You're a lousy human being. 1229 01:22:12,424 --> 01:22:17,220 Listen to me, James. You are a very impressive man. 1230 01:22:17,471 --> 01:22:20,349 Over the past few months, I have watched you bloom. 1231 01:22:20,557 --> 01:22:22,684 You deserve better than some... 1232 01:22:22,934 --> 01:22:26,021 ...frumpy housewife who doesn't have the resourcefulness... 1233 01:22:26,229 --> 01:22:28,231 ...to find herself a decent job. 1234 01:22:30,776 --> 01:22:33,737 She's smart enough to find me here. That's our dog! 1235 01:22:38,075 --> 01:22:42,371 - Hey, Rocks. All right. - Hey, big guy. Hey, pal, give me paw. 1236 01:22:42,621 --> 01:22:45,624 - What happened? - Not so rough. 1237 01:22:45,832 --> 01:22:48,251 Whoa! Is she in heat, or what? 1238 01:22:52,130 --> 01:22:55,717 If you walk out that door, I will personally guarantee... 1239 01:22:55,926 --> 01:22:57,427 ...that you never fly... 1240 01:22:57,636 --> 01:23:01,431 ...for a reputable company for the rest of your pathetic... 1241 01:23:03,517 --> 01:23:06,770 How do you like that? That'll cool you off. 1242 01:23:08,563 --> 01:23:09,690 Rocks, let's go. 1243 01:23:09,898 --> 01:23:11,274 Good shot, huh? 1244 01:23:13,235 --> 01:23:14,361 Bye. 1245 01:23:20,575 --> 01:23:22,202 It's a hat. 1246 01:23:22,452 --> 01:23:25,414 It's a hat. Let's put it on. 1247 01:23:26,456 --> 01:23:28,166 I think it goes a different way. 1248 01:23:28,625 --> 01:23:32,087 Let's see. You look so pretty! 1249 01:23:33,422 --> 01:23:37,884 Look at that face! Mikey, you want to open another one? 1250 01:23:38,844 --> 01:23:40,554 It's probably more clothes. 1251 01:23:40,804 --> 01:23:43,140 You're lucky we gave you some boring things. 1252 01:23:43,390 --> 01:23:46,685 Otherwise, you'd be freezing your tushy off right now. 1253 01:23:52,065 --> 01:23:53,775 Is that Daphne? 1254 01:23:56,695 --> 01:24:00,282 My God! My dog is a genius! 1255 01:24:00,532 --> 01:24:02,284 Way to go, Daphne! 1256 01:24:02,534 --> 01:24:05,662 No need for applause. Just throw treats. 1257 01:24:06,204 --> 01:24:08,165 Come on, we're almost there. 1258 01:24:09,458 --> 01:24:12,627 Okay, Rocks, where are they? Are we getting close? 1259 01:24:13,170 --> 01:24:15,422 Are we? Right. 1260 01:24:15,630 --> 01:24:18,216 What are you gonna say? "They're just up the road... 1261 01:24:18,467 --> 01:24:21,303 ...about a quarter of a mile, just past the 7-11." 1262 01:24:22,637 --> 01:24:23,680 This way. 1263 01:24:23,889 --> 01:24:28,518 Are you gonna trust that dinky bulb on your face or my nose? Come on! 1264 01:24:28,727 --> 01:24:31,104 All right. I hope you're right. 1265 01:24:37,194 --> 01:24:40,280 Mollie! Mollie! 1266 01:24:41,573 --> 01:24:44,242 Oh, God. Mollie! 1267 01:24:45,786 --> 01:24:47,621 They're gone? I can't believe it. 1268 01:24:47,871 --> 01:24:50,832 Look on the floor. They were here. I left them here. 1269 01:25:04,429 --> 01:25:05,722 Come on in. 1270 01:25:08,725 --> 01:25:11,561 There are some cots in the back you could use. 1271 01:25:11,770 --> 01:25:15,941 No, thank you. We can't sleep here. We have to find my husband tonight. 1272 01:25:16,149 --> 01:25:17,901 No one's going anywhere tonight. 1273 01:25:18,318 --> 01:25:21,405 You hunker down here. We'll go out in the morning. 1274 01:25:21,655 --> 01:25:24,366 We have to go. This is Christmas Eve. We've gotta... 1275 01:25:24,574 --> 01:25:25,742 I'm sorry. 1276 01:25:27,077 --> 01:25:29,871 If it's any consolation, I have cookies and eggnog. 1277 01:25:30,080 --> 01:25:31,873 You can help yourselves. 1278 01:25:33,208 --> 01:25:34,501 Thank you. 1279 01:25:49,975 --> 01:25:52,060 I'm sorry, you guys. 1280 01:25:52,310 --> 01:25:55,689 I didn't mean to get us stuck out in the middle of nowhere... 1281 01:25:55,939 --> 01:25:57,983 ...without our daddy. Sorry. 1282 01:25:58,358 --> 01:26:01,111 How's Santa gonna find us here? 1283 01:26:03,572 --> 01:26:06,408 Don't worry, he has special radar. 1284 01:26:14,708 --> 01:26:18,086 - Merry Christmas, Mom. - Merry Christmas, Mom. 1285 01:26:18,754 --> 01:26:20,380 Merry Christmas. 1286 01:26:32,893 --> 01:26:35,479 - He was big and he jumped me. - We'll find him. 1287 01:26:36,104 --> 01:26:39,358 Wait, wait. I think I'm picking up on something here. 1288 01:26:40,442 --> 01:26:42,361 Fresh meat, fresh meat, fresh meat. 1289 01:26:49,826 --> 01:26:51,661 Yeah, that's the guy. 1290 01:26:52,120 --> 01:26:53,205 Damn. 1291 01:26:53,413 --> 01:26:54,831 - He bit me. - He ain't so big. 1292 01:26:55,040 --> 01:26:56,083 He had friends. 1293 01:26:56,291 --> 01:26:58,251 The fur's gonna fly. 1294 01:26:58,460 --> 01:27:00,462 Run! I'll take care of these guys. 1295 01:27:00,879 --> 01:27:02,839 You take care of nobody, chump. 1296 01:27:04,758 --> 01:27:05,801 It's showtime. 1297 01:27:06,009 --> 01:27:07,594 - Your funeral. - Your mama. 1298 01:27:08,595 --> 01:27:09,638 Kill! 1299 01:27:27,322 --> 01:27:29,533 Honey, let's go to bed now. 1300 01:27:29,783 --> 01:27:32,953 - I'm not sleepy. - I know. 1301 01:27:33,203 --> 01:27:34,663 But you know what? 1302 01:27:34,913 --> 01:27:39,001 The sooner we go to sleep, the sooner Christmas will come. 1303 01:27:58,145 --> 01:27:59,646 Santa? 1304 01:28:16,204 --> 01:28:17,372 Mom. 1305 01:28:17,998 --> 01:28:20,292 Come over here. Look. 1306 01:28:20,584 --> 01:28:22,586 I think it's Santa. 1307 01:28:33,638 --> 01:28:34,723 Hello? 1308 01:28:39,519 --> 01:28:40,562 Man. 1309 01:28:40,937 --> 01:28:43,148 Merry Christmas, honey. 1310 01:28:52,866 --> 01:28:54,493 Daddy! 1311 01:28:54,785 --> 01:28:56,953 - Daddy! - Hi, Julie. 1312 01:29:05,212 --> 01:29:06,797 Where's Rocks? 1313 01:29:07,047 --> 01:29:10,759 You wouldn't believe it. We ran into these wolves, right? 1314 01:29:11,009 --> 01:29:13,011 We actually got attacked by wolves. 1315 01:29:13,220 --> 01:29:16,390 - Oh, no. - And Rocks came to my defence. 1316 01:29:16,640 --> 01:29:20,352 And one of the wolves chomped on my beeper. Look at it. 1317 01:29:20,811 --> 01:29:24,940 And they all totally spazzed out. Bunch of wimps. 1318 01:29:27,150 --> 01:29:29,528 Hey, kid, it's great to see you. 1319 01:29:30,862 --> 01:29:33,198 Oh, Rocks! How did you find us? 1320 01:29:33,407 --> 01:29:35,575 I just followed your scent. 1321 01:29:36,326 --> 01:29:39,079 And you smell beautiful, Daphne. Oh, honey pie! 1322 01:29:39,287 --> 01:29:42,374 - Pumpkin butt. - Not in front of the kids. 1323 01:29:42,708 --> 01:29:46,628 And, James, before the wolves... 1324 01:29:47,129 --> 01:29:48,255 ...what were you doing? 1325 01:29:49,423 --> 01:29:51,008 Getting fired. 1326 01:29:53,719 --> 01:29:55,220 Thank God! 1327 01:29:57,305 --> 01:29:59,224 Mom, can Rocks stay with us now? 1328 01:30:00,434 --> 01:30:02,686 Honey, have a heart. 1329 01:30:02,894 --> 01:30:05,480 If not for Rocks, we wouldn't be here together. 1330 01:30:05,814 --> 01:30:08,859 - I mean, I might even be dead. - I know! That's why... 1331 01:30:09,067 --> 01:30:11,862 So, what if he's not the smartest dog in the world? 1332 01:30:12,112 --> 01:30:14,197 Who cares if he can sit down? 1333 01:30:14,406 --> 01:30:15,449 I can sit down. 1334 01:30:15,657 --> 01:30:19,036 - Or if he can beg. - Beg? Beg's easy. Look. 1335 01:30:19,244 --> 01:30:22,748 Who needs a beggar in the family? Or lie down? 1336 01:30:22,998 --> 01:30:25,959 I mean, the point is, he is still a great dog. 1337 01:30:26,543 --> 01:30:27,753 He stays. 1338 01:30:28,003 --> 01:30:28,962 - What? - He stays. 1339 01:30:29,212 --> 01:30:30,464 Really? 1340 01:30:30,672 --> 01:30:32,466 Hey, Mike, did you hear that? 1341 01:30:34,051 --> 01:30:35,469 I'm gonna stay! 1342 01:30:35,719 --> 01:30:37,095 Hey, guys? 1343 01:30:38,221 --> 01:30:40,432 I'm picking up something weird over here. 1344 01:30:48,607 --> 01:30:51,276 Hey, what is that? Come here. 1345 01:30:52,527 --> 01:30:54,654 Is that sleigh bells? 1346 01:30:56,656 --> 01:31:00,118 Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! 1347 01:31:02,162 --> 01:31:04,539 - I told you he was real. - I knew that. 1348 01:31:04,790 --> 01:31:06,291 - You did not. - I always knew. 1349 01:31:06,541 --> 01:31:08,210 - You did not. - Did too. 1350 01:31:08,669 --> 01:31:11,463 - She kissed you! - I hate my sister. 1351 01:31:11,672 --> 01:31:13,840 - Get the cootie spray! - Let's go to bed. 1352 01:31:14,091 --> 01:31:17,177 - I don't want to go to bed. - This is so exciting! 1353 01:31:17,386 --> 01:31:21,723 Santa's right outside. He's right above our head. Can't you hear it? 1354 01:35:02,819 --> 01:35:03,862 Subtitles by SDI Media Group 1355 01:35:03,962 --> 01:35:13,962 Download movie subtitles or Load it directly from url on TheSubtitles.net104780