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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,794 --> 00:00:03,879 (crowd cheering) 2 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,645 ♪ VANT: Do You Know Me? 3 00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:31,824 ♪ If someone picks up then I'm still alone 4 00:00:31,991 --> 00:00:34,869 ♪ They're just another voice on a telephone 5 00:00:35,161 --> 00:00:37,663 ♪ I'm down, I'm broke, I'm tired 6 00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:40,374 ♪ I want something more 7 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,419 ♪ So let me hear you say, oh 8 00:00:43,586 --> 00:00:44,962 ♪ You should know me 9 00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:48,424 ♪ You should know me by now 10 00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,176 ♪ Do you know me? 11 00:00:50,426 --> 00:00:51,594 ♪ Do you know me? 12 00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,220 ♪ Do you know me? 13 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,557 ♪ Do you know me at all? 14 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:05,170 ♪ KHIA: My Neck, My Back (Lick It) ♪ Lick it now, lick it good 15 00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:07,276 ♪ Lick this pussy just like you should 16 00:01:07,443 --> 00:01:09,820 ♪ Come on, right now, lick it good 17 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:12,073 ♪ Lick this pussy just like you should 18 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,949 (sings along): ♪ My neck, my back 19 00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:16,243 ♪ My pussy and my crack 20 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:19,080 - What the hell is this music, Nick? - Well, it's sexy. 21 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:20,247 No? 22 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,916 Don't worry. I can change it. 23 00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:24,085 ♪ Do it now, lick... 24 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:26,378 ♪ MC HAMMER: U Can't Touch This ♪ You can't touch this 25 00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:29,048 ♪ My-my-my-my music You can't touch this 26 00:01:29,215 --> 00:01:31,425 MAN: Harry darted behind the crumbling pillar... 27 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,637 - I shouldn't have put it on shuffle. - ..where our wizards streaked past. 28 00:01:34,804 --> 00:01:35,888 Why is that on shuffle? 29 00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:37,431 Sorry, Nick. Can we focus? 30 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,016 Oh, yeah. 31 00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:41,268 Sorry. 32 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,356 Remember, don't come inside me. 33 00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:48,275 - What? Why not? - I had to take a break from the pill. 34 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,152 The hormones were making my nipples hairy. 35 00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:52,321 Oh, shit, yeah, of course. 36 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:57,118 - So where should I come, then? - I don't know. Wherever you want. 37 00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,662 - OK, like, your face? - Obviously not. 38 00:01:59,829 --> 00:02:02,081 - No, sorry. We spoke about that. - Just come anywhere. 39 00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:04,458 Er.... Yep, what, so just literally anywhere? 40 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:08,003 - Not on me! - (groans) 41 00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:12,341 (exhales) 42 00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:15,845 ♪ You can't touch this 43 00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:19,181 ♪ My-my-my-my You can't touch this 44 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,641 Knock, knock. Who is it? 45 00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,184 - It's Shane. - (laughs) 46 00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:23,435 Ah... 47 00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,020 - (hums) - Oh. 48 00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:26,188 Hey! 49 00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:27,731 Today uni is officially over. 50 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,233 Came, saw, conquered. 51 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,693 Well, you got a third. 52 00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:32,653 - (inhales) You ready? - No, I'm scared. 53 00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:35,906 Fear is just your body telling you not to do something dangerous. 54 00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,324 Yeah, I know what fear is. 55 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,971 Come on, let's go. See you down there. 56 00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:40,244 - Bye. - Bye. 57 00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:41,852 Dude, you've got jizz on your gown. 58 00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:43,956 ♪ KELLY ROWLAND: Work ♪ Work-work-work-work 59 00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:46,750 That's hot. (laughs) 60 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,837 - I can't do it. I can't do it. - No, keep going. 61 00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:50,254 But my lips are gonna fall off. 62 00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:52,756 ♪ Put it in ♪ Work-work-work-work-work 63 00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:54,341 - Breathe through it. - Fuck off! 64 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,885 Breathe through it. (laughs) 65 00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:59,263 - (groans) - Finish up. We'll go meet the others. 66 00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:02,725 - You mean Caitlin and her friends? - They're our friends too. 67 00:03:02,892 --> 00:03:04,101 - They are. - Hm-mm. 68 00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:05,769 Rex got us tickets to that festival. 69 00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:08,063 - Why would he if we weren't friends? - Not sure. 70 00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:10,316 They're nice to you cos you go out with Caitlin. 71 00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:13,944 I... I guess for me a real friend is someone who'd help you dispose of a body. 72 00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:17,406 - I would not help you dispose of a body. - I'm not encouraging you to kill anyone. 73 00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:20,409 I'm just saying when it happens, I'll help you dismember the corpse. 74 00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:22,661 - Thank you. That will be nice. - You're welcome. 75 00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:25,831 It'll be a nice day, two mates together, chopping up a murder victim. 76 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,750 Ooh... I can feel it in my balls. 77 00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:30,336 - Come on. We've gotta get through this. - OK. 78 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:31,503 ♪ KELLY ROWLAND: Work 79 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:32,755 - (gags) - (laughs) 80 00:03:32,922 --> 00:03:34,840 ♪ You got it? - Can we get some milk, please? 81 00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,300 (laughs) 82 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,014 ♪ Tables turnin' to a situation 83 00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:44,558 ♪ Now you standin' in my face and you been patiently waitin' 84 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,727 ♪ I'm rollin' over words, forget the conversation 85 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,480 ♪ Thinkin' maybe we can make a combination 86 00:03:49,647 --> 00:03:51,815 ♪ Wanna see me lose my breath and wanna hear me moan 87 00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,068 ♪ Better be ready, we'll enable when we get alone 88 00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:56,403 ♪ You was talkin' confident up on the telephone 89 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,210 ♪ So you gotta put it in when we get it on 90 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,366 - Here they are, Bert and Ernie. - Hi, guys. 91 00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:02,076 Blimey, chaps. You're a bit sweaty. 92 00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:04,036 Been playing soggy biscuit or something? 93 00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:06,664 We ate some very hot chicken and now it's a bit hard to see. 94 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:09,250 Listen, Rex, thanks for sorting us the festival tickets. 95 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:12,211 It's no problem. I like to help those less fortunate than myself. 96 00:04:12,378 --> 00:04:13,545 I mean, we did pay for them. 97 00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:16,131 Oh, hi. I don't think we've met. I'm Lucy. 98 00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,968 Yeah, I know. We met before. Loads of times. 99 00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:22,304 I'm friends with Nick and Caitlin. My name's Shane. 100 00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:23,764 Are you sure? 101 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:27,059 Am I sure I'm friends with Nick and Caitlin or am I sure my name's Shane? 102 00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:29,144 Both. 103 00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:30,938 You all right, Gordy? 104 00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:34,149 Oh, Gordy's taken some pretty strong drugs and he's gone mute. 105 00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:37,403 Still a bloody legend, though. Who wants to have a drink? 106 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:40,239 Oh, we should go and find our parents but we'll see you after? 107 00:04:40,406 --> 00:04:42,658 Not if I can help it. 108 00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:48,289 I don't recognise half these people. 109 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:49,957 Look at that dude in the dreadlocks. 110 00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:52,501 - Why did we never make friends with him? - Say "fromage". 111 00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:53,711 Oh, look. There's Robin. 112 00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,963 (sighs) Oh, fuck's sake. 113 00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:57,631 Wow, wow. 114 00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:58,924 You look great, Shane. 115 00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:01,176 Hi, Nick. 116 00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:05,639 So, are you boys ready to create some memories today? 117 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,933 - Where's Mum? - Saving us a spot down the front. 118 00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,685 Wanna get some good snaps. 119 00:05:09,852 --> 00:05:12,980 - You really didn't have to come. - Hey, don't mention it. 120 00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:15,941 I wouldn't have missed this for the world, Shane. 121 00:05:16,108 --> 00:05:19,111 Every morning I wake up next to your mum... 122 00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:21,030 - (mutters): Oh, my... - ..bursting... 123 00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:22,531 ..bursting with pride for you. 124 00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:24,783 Oh. Sorry. 125 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:27,536 (tearful): I promised myself I wasn't gonna cry. 126 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,913 Oh, nice try, Robin, you big dingbat. 127 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,916 (he sighs) 128 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:36,170 I just can't believe the amazing man that you've grown into. 129 00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,716 Oh, mate, you've been going out with my mum for about a year. 130 00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:43,177 (tearful): I know. It's been the best year of my life. 131 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:46,055 Robin, so sorry. I've gotta go and meet my mum and Caitlin. 132 00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:47,389 - See you later. - See you. 133 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,641 That's right, Shane, just let it out. 134 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,935 - Darling, I'm sorry I'm late. - Hi, Mum. 135 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,771 Caitlin, you look beautiful. 136 00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,481 - Thanks, Vivian. - (laughs) 137 00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:57,983 Right, one quick snap of the happy couple. 138 00:05:58,567 --> 00:05:59,568 OK. 139 00:05:59,735 --> 00:06:01,415 Nicky, you've got toothpaste on your gown. 140 00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:02,946 - No. - Let... 141 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,448 - Don't. - Nicky. 142 00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:06,533 - Seriously. - Nicky! 143 00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:19,588 Hm. 144 00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,673 Right. 145 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,343 (clears throat) Won't be able to remember the blooming PIN now. 146 00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:26,762 But it will be good to have some photos of graduation, 147 00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:28,430 put them up when we move in together. 148 00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,766 Right, yeah, when we move in together. 149 00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:33,977 Hey, can't wait to eat breakfast together in our matching bathrobes. 150 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:38,315 (both laugh) 151 00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:40,401 Yeah. 152 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,736 Wait. Why are we laughing? 153 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,822 Oh, my God. You're not joking. 154 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,949 Well, it just makes sense, right? 155 00:06:47,116 --> 00:06:49,201 Get a nice one bed, maybe get a cat? 156 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:51,829 - What? - Nothing. 157 00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,163 No, come on, what is it? 158 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,623 It's just... 159 00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:56,792 I guess I kind of assumed that we'd... 160 00:06:57,626 --> 00:07:00,045 you know, break up. 161 00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:03,090 - Why would we do that? - It's just what uni couples do, isn't it? 162 00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:06,093 You get out of the bubble and you realise it was never gonna work. 163 00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:09,263 My sister and her ex went out for the whole of uni and then broke up. 164 00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:12,266 Cos she woke up one night and he was wanking over Korean cartoon porn. 165 00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:14,309 Nick, stop being a dick. 166 00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:15,769 I'm being... a dick? 167 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,021 You're the one breaking up with me at graduation. 168 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,648 I'm not breaking up with you. 169 00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:22,901 I'm saying I think I might break up with you in a few months. 170 00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,778 It's like saying "I'm not murdering you. 171 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,865 I'm gonna gradually expose you to dangerous amounts of polonium." 172 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,408 I'm a relationship Litvinenko. 173 00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:30,951 - I'm a dead man walking. - Nick... 174 00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,662 Dead man! We got a dead man walking. 175 00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:35,664 I can't deal with you when you're like this. 176 00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:37,916 - Like what? - Just uptight and self-centred. 177 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:40,586 And making everything all about Nick, like you always do. 178 00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:41,879 I'm done. 179 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,131 Right... (clears throat) I'm ready. 180 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:46,800 Oh, no, that's just a close-up of my face. 181 00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:54,057 Leo Pandara. 182 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,061 Nishant Patel. 183 00:07:58,437 --> 00:07:59,438 Shane. 184 00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:01,482 - Ben Proctor. - Robin, go back to your seat. 185 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,734 Shane Simpson. 186 00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:05,986 Gordon Symonds. 187 00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:10,324 Nick Taylor. 188 00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:14,578 Sandeep Tulwar. 189 00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:18,582 - Angela Queiroz. - Sorry, Sandeep. 190 00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:20,918 Um, sorry, everyone. There's something I wanna say. 191 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,252 Erm... 192 00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:24,505 Caitlin... 193 00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:27,007 I'm sorry. 194 00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:31,345 I don't know what happened earlier, but... I'm sorry. 195 00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:35,015 I didn't mean for us to fight and I don't want us to break up. 196 00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,518 I love you and I know you love me too, 197 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:41,230 so can we just forget what happened, 198 00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:43,774 whatever it was, please? 199 00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,445 - No, Nick. OTHERS: Aw... 200 00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:49,654 No? 201 00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,865 No, I don't want to get back together. 202 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,618 Especially not like this. 203 00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:58,622 But we're meant to be together... and grow old together. 204 00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:03,377 We lost our virginities to each other. Doesn't that mean anything to you? 205 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,797 I guess not. I guess I'm just a fucking idiot. 206 00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:08,590 Actually, no, I'm not an idiot. 207 00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:11,843 You're just a heartless monster. 208 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,513 You're mean. You are mean. 209 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:15,931 And you're spindly. 210 00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:18,350 And... And guess what? 211 00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,936 I don't wanna get back together with you. Good riddance. 212 00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:24,106 That's not true. I didn't mean that, Caitlin. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 213 00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:25,274 Please take me back? 214 00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:26,858 Caitlin, please? Caitlin? 215 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,610 Hm? Please? Caitlin? 216 00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,654 Caitlin? Please? Caitlin? Caitlin? 217 00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,531 Caitlin, I didn't mean that. Caitlin... 218 00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:34,783 I'm gonna be sick. 219 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:36,535 (groans) 220 00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:38,787 (shocked gasps) 221 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,999 (gags) 222 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,209 (sighs) 223 00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:46,420 Caitlin, come on. 224 00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:48,672 Yeah? Please. 225 00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:51,925 Please. Please. 226 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,177 - Sabina Underby. - (groans) 227 00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:56,513 (gags) 228 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,181 Miguel Uppingham. 229 00:09:58,348 --> 00:09:59,808 (whispers): Come on. Let's go. 230 00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:02,019 - Shane, no. I'm OK. - Michael Upton. 231 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,021 - Shane, I'm OK. - Psst. Shane. 232 00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:06,607 Robin, why would you wanna take a photo of this? 233 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,859 Joanna Wilson. 234 00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:11,320 ♪ THE DANDY WARHOLS: Styggo 235 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,168 (laughs) 236 00:10:26,335 --> 00:10:28,462 You were almost sick. 237 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:32,633 ♪ Crimson and clover are taking on over - (cries) 238 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,551 ♪ Minute by minute 239 00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:37,220 ♪ I can save but I won't stop 240 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:40,974 ♪ Tripping about everything that I shoulder 241 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:46,396 ♪ Heigh ho, some things you gotta get over 242 00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:48,170 Knock, knock. Who is it? It's Shane. 243 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,941 Ha. 244 00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:51,818 Up, up. 245 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,446 - Time to go mad in a field. - Shane, I'm not coming. 246 00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:57,824 Right. What you gonna do instead? Stay here and eat more chicken? 247 00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,826 Shane, you don't understand. 248 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,828 When you break up with a long-term partner, 249 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,122 you can't just carry on like everything's normal. 250 00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:07,834 Right, here are three very good reasons why you're coming. 251 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:11,004 One: we've already paid for our tickets and they were expensive. 252 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:14,675 Two: I'm not going to the festival on my own like some friendless weirdo. 253 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:18,136 And three: what's this? 254 00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,764 What is it? 255 00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:23,225 It's an orange juice bottle filled with my urine. 256 00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:26,019 Yes, it is. You're turning into a psychopath. 257 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:29,064 You've got to get out of here before you start pooing in your socks. 258 00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,899 But what if I bump into Caitlin? 259 00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:33,402 It'll be so embarrassing. I haven't seen her since... 260 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,237 - Your mental breakdown. - Graduation. 261 00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:37,823 Dude, there are a hundred thousand people there. 262 00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:40,909 The chances of bumping into her are a million to one. 263 00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:44,663 - (sighs) Fine. - (laughs) This is gonna be great. 264 00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:47,332 Robin's outside. He's gonna drive us to the station. 265 00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:48,875 You owe me for this. 266 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,409 The reason you want to go is to see that twat in a mask. 267 00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:54,798 Erm, DJ Hammerhead is not a twat in a mask. 268 00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,892 I mean, he wears a mask, but he's not a twat. 269 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,885 He deejays all over the world. 270 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,221 He's worth 55 million pounds. 271 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,556 People love him. 272 00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,850 He's slept with Bella and Gigi Hadid. 273 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,310 Plus a secret third sister who's even fitter. 274 00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:11,231 He's my hero. He inspired my latest track. I can play it for you while you pack. 275 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,066 Please don't. I really hate your music. 276 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,193 (pounding repetitive dance beat) 277 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,404 Can you believe it took me five minutes to write? 278 00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:18,947 Yes. 279 00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:21,116 I love you, but can you turn this off? 280 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:23,368 Wait for the drop. 281 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,704 Just three more minutes. 282 00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:28,039 Oh, my God. 283 00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:33,879 ♪ Well, it's the same room but everything's different 284 00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:38,425 ♪ You can find the sleep but not the dream 285 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:45,932 ♪ Things ain't cooking in my kitchen 286 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,726 ♪ Strange affliction - Robin. 287 00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:51,354 ♪ Wash over me - Robin. 288 00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:53,482 (higher): ♪ Julius Caesar, ah... 289 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:55,442 - Robin. - Oh. 290 00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:57,819 Robin. 291 00:12:58,403 --> 00:12:59,905 Sorry about that, boys. 292 00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,991 (sighs) There's nothing like a dose of Crowded House 293 00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:04,743 to really nourish the soul, huh? 294 00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,276 That's my kind of house music. 295 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:08,955 - Can you open the boot for us, please? - Oh, sure thing, son. 296 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,208 (sighs) Don't call me that. 297 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:14,336 There you go. 298 00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:16,671 God, I wish I was going with you guys. 299 00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:19,341 I used to be a real festival head in my roaring twenties. 300 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:20,629 One word of advice, though. 301 00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:22,604 - Shane, I know you're circumcised. - Robin. 302 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:24,844 I remember from the pool. But, Nick, how about you? 303 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,349 Have you still got the old, erm, boatman's hood? 304 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:30,936 You know, the boatman's hood? What we call the boatman's hood. 305 00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:33,355 The boatman's hood. It's what we call the foreskin. 306 00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:36,316 - Pretty sure no-one calls it that. - The golden rule of festivals 307 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:40,737 is to wash that bugger at least three times a day, OK? 308 00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:42,113 You can remind him, Shane. 309 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,115 Once at a festival in Denmark, 310 00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:46,493 a friend of mine let the smegma build up. 311 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:49,013 Even though we warned him. We could smell it in the tent. 312 00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,330 He got septicaemia, 313 00:13:50,539 --> 00:13:54,209 and to stop it from spreading, they had to remove his whole penis. 314 00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:58,964 Imagine that, just this bloody stump where your... willy used to be. 315 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,215 (sighs) Hm. 316 00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:01,883 Yeah. 317 00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:03,927 Anyway, let's hit the road. 318 00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:06,471 Foreskin, wash it. 319 00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:09,975 ♪ Whenever I fall 320 00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:14,980 ♪ At your feet 321 00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:19,442 ♪ You let your tears 322 00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:24,447 ♪ Rain down on me 323 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,410 ♪ Whenever I touch 324 00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:33,039 ♪ Your slowly turning pain 325 00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:38,128 (laughter) 326 00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:39,296 Excuse us. 327 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:40,589 Right, this is me. 328 00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,257 And you're down there. 329 00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:44,634 - We're not together? - No, sorry. It was last minute. 330 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,887 - This was all they had. - Oh. 331 00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:50,015 - Wait a minute. Is this a child's ticket? - Yes. 332 00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:52,934 - Why did you get us children's tickets? - Oh, it's way cheaper. 333 00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:55,186 Yeah, cos they're for fucking children. 334 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:57,230 What if we get stopped by a ticket inspector? 335 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,608 (snorts) Ticket inspector? Ticket inspector? 336 00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:01,693 You've been watching way too much Miss Marple. 337 00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,612 It's all robots now. 338 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:06,531 Hi. 339 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,954 Hey, pal. Headed to the festival? 340 00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:14,289 - Yep. - Me too. 341 00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:16,041 - I'm Amy. - I'm Nick. 342 00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:17,834 Awesome name. You travelling on your own? 343 00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,503 - No, my friend's sitting up there. - Nice. 344 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:23,173 I'm flying solo. Just a great way to meet people, you know? 345 00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:25,425 You're never alone at a festival. 346 00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,385 You been before? 347 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,012 No, er, first time. 348 00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:31,765 Oh. A newbie. I love it. 349 00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:34,142 - It's my ninth year in a row. - Congrats. 350 00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:36,227 Nine years ago, did it. Eight years ago, did it. 351 00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:39,314 Seven years ago, nearly didn't make it because I lost my ticket, 352 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:42,525 but luckily I met a Welsh Rastafarian who showed me a way to break in 353 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:44,194 and also how to make jerk rarebit. 354 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,071 Six years ago, best year yet. 355 00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,239 There was this amazing halloumi tent. 356 00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:51,159 It wasn't a tent made of halloumi, but it was just the tent... 357 00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:53,286 I might just listen to some music. 358 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,538 Cool, cool. 359 00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:03,171 What are you listening to? 360 00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:05,173 All right, tickets, please. 361 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:06,967 Thank you. Thank you very much. 362 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,593 - Shit. - Thank you, sir. Thank you. 363 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:12,764 Anyway, according to my mum, my first words as a baby were "Serena Williams", 364 00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:15,850 which is weird because she wouldn't have been famous at that point. 365 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:17,185 - Hey, dude. - Oh, thank God. 366 00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:18,728 OK, slight issue. 367 00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:21,690 Turns out there is in fact a ticket inspector on the train. 368 00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:24,693 - What? I told you. - No, it's fine. I've thought about it. 369 00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:27,570 When he comes to check our tickets, we just pretend to be kids. 370 00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,257 - Pretend to be kids? - Yeah. You know, 371 00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:31,324 talk about Minecraft and not having pubes yet. 372 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,952 Are you guys travelling on kids' tickets? 373 00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:35,120 Yeah. 374 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:38,331 - Me too. It's so much cheaper. - That's what I said. 375 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:39,791 - Hi. I'm Amy. - I'm Shane. 376 00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:42,669 Nice to meet you, Shane. I assume you're a fellow festival freak? 377 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:44,671 - You know it. - Guys. 378 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,172 What are we gonna do? 379 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,591 Relax, Nick. I do this all the time. 380 00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,844 I have a plan. 381 00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:55,849 - So what's the plan? - This. This is the plan. 382 00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:57,100 Standing in a toilet? 383 00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:58,893 - Yeah. - That's not a plan. 384 00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:03,148 We're in the exact same situation, except now there's a strong whiff of piss. 385 00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:04,834 - What do we do if he finds us? - Easy. 386 00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:07,819 Just pretend we're doing something really private, like having sex. 387 00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:10,321 - There's three of us. - Pretend we're having a threesome. 388 00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:11,648 Well, how is that any better? 389 00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:13,867 We'll just be fare dodgers who are having an orgy. 390 00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:16,619 - No, I like this plan. - Oh, this is stupid. I'm getting out. 391 00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,121 - Tickets, please. - Oh, shit. 392 00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:21,207 - Open up, please. - (moans): Ooh, yeah! 393 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,792 Oh, my God! 394 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:24,399 What the fuck are you doing? Stop it. 395 00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,713 I'm having sex. 396 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,423 - Ooh. - (grunting) 397 00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:30,550 (whispers): Why are you doing it as well? 398 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,761 - Open the door. - Oh, my God, that feels... 399 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:35,138 - Shut up. - ..so good in my vagina. 400 00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:37,432 - Oh, thank you! - (grunting) 401 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:38,725 I don't know what to say. 402 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:41,394 - Just think of what you've seen on TV. - Now I'm panicking. 403 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,229 I wanna put it in your proving drawer. 404 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,690 Ooh, turn up the heat. Don't let it sink. 405 00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:47,108 - Open the door. - (knocking) 406 00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:49,319 You are so much better at this than my husband. 407 00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:50,737 I think I'm gonna pass out. 408 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,947 - Christ, it's too tight in here! - That's good. 409 00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:55,742 - Let it rise. - Oh. Oh, yeah.... 410 00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,327 Oh, that's happening. 411 00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,370 That's sex for you... 412 00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:04,417 (knocking and cheering) 413 00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:12,008 Oh, well. Looks like we'll have to use the old foot-mobiles. 414 00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:15,970 Ooh. I can tell you guys about the time I got trapped inside a grandfather clock. 415 00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:19,390 At first it wasn't too bad because it was the middle of the night... 416 00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:24,604 I really liked him and his brothers, but then I found out he wasn't a sushi chef, 417 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,899 he just always wore white and had a load of knives on him. 418 00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:30,819 So my dad was, like, "There's no money in ventriloquism." 419 00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:32,654 And I was, like, "I'll show you!" 420 00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:34,781 But it turned out he was totally right. 421 00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:38,785 I'm thinking of becoming an architect, but an untrained architect. 422 00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:40,954 Then I started a dating website for dogs, 423 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:44,040 but that didn't really work out because dogs don't wanna go on dates 424 00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:45,727 because they don't know what they are. 425 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:46,918 My sister said to me, 426 00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:50,463 "Amy, I need you to sell every single piece of furniture in my house today." 427 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:53,174 And I was, like, "Everything? Even Gary's desk? 428 00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:55,218 Even Gary's dresser?" 429 00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:58,721 But that was before I trained to be an auctioneer. 430 00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:00,849 She's been talking for three hours. 431 00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,434 (laughs) I know. She's so interesting. 432 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,521 Here we are. 433 00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:08,773 Isn't she gorgeous? 434 00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:10,233 Whoa. 435 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,485 Come on! 436 00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,822 (Shane and Amy laugh) 437 00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:17,907 Come on. 438 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:19,617 Yeah! 439 00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,870 (yells): Yeah! 440 00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:23,746 (Amy shrieks) 441 00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:26,291 It's a bit further than I remember. 442 00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:27,458 (squeals) 443 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:28,710 (Shane yells): Yeah! 444 00:19:28,877 --> 00:19:30,962 ♪ CRYSTAL FIGHTERS: Yellow Sun 445 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:36,926 ♪ Dancing on the yellow yellow yellow yellow yellow yellow sun 446 00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:39,596 ♪ Dancing on the yellow yellow yellow yellow sun 447 00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:43,558 ♪ Like I'm dancing on the yellow yellow yellow yellow yellow yellow sun 448 00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:46,644 ♪ Dancing on the yellow yellow, dancing on the yellow sun 449 00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:12,086 Breathe it in, boys. 450 00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,505 It literally stinks of shit. 451 00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,925 - Everything smells of shit. - Exactly. 452 00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:20,053 - Amy, where can you, like, see the acts? - On the stages. 453 00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:23,431 - I mean when they're not performing. - Oh, er, backstage, I guess. Why? 454 00:20:23,598 --> 00:20:25,516 - I wanna try and meet Hammerhead. - He's great. 455 00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:28,853 I wanna get a selfie playing my tunes, maybe convince him to legally adopt me. 456 00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:32,315 Well, the best way to get backstage is to either be a famous person 457 00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:35,526 or to be willing to let a famous person put their genitals in your mouth. 458 00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,111 Sounds fair. What do you reckon? 459 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,948 I'm not sucking off James Corden just to get backstage. 460 00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:41,366 OK, let's play a game. 461 00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:43,618 Which celeb would you suck off to get backstage? 462 00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:44,994 (laughs) Fun. 463 00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:46,496 Michael Fassbender? 464 00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:47,747 - No. - Definitely. Next. 465 00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,994 - Forest Whitaker? - I said no to Michael Fassbender. 466 00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:51,684 Why would I say yes to Forest Whitaker? 467 00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:52,961 - Harry Potter! - What? 468 00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:55,463 - Harry Potter! - I don't look anything like him. 469 00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:57,298 (laughs) Harry Potter! 470 00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,342 - (laughs) - Jesus Christ. 471 00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:02,053 - Is it gonna be three days of this? - (chuckles) Classic. 472 00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:03,554 OK, let's go pitch our tents. 473 00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:04,889 My usual spot's up that way. 474 00:21:05,056 --> 00:21:08,142 It's right by the main path and the biggest toilets. 475 00:21:08,309 --> 00:21:09,310 Awesome. 476 00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:11,896 I think Shane and I already have a spot in mind is the thing. 477 00:21:12,063 --> 00:21:13,189 - Do we? - Yeah. Remember? 478 00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:15,441 I read about it on that camping blog. 479 00:21:17,568 --> 00:21:20,446 No worries. Great getting to know you guys. 480 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:23,032 Good luck meeting Hammerhead. Hope he likes your tunes. 481 00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:24,617 Bye. 482 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,864 - Where's the spot? - I made it up to get rid of her. 483 00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:29,038 Why don't you wanna camp with her? She's cool. 484 00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:32,208 - She's clearly mental. - She's not mental. She's just Australian. 485 00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:33,751 (Amy screams) 486 00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:35,878 (squeals) 487 00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:38,285 I will find us the perfect spot. 488 00:21:38,423 --> 00:21:39,465 It's gonna be perfect. 489 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:42,510 ♪ Blaze up me fire, blaze it till the morning 490 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,888 ♪ Blaze up me fire, blaze it till the morning 491 00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:49,183 ♪ Blaze up me fire, blaze it till the morning 492 00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:51,436 ♪ Blaze up me fire 493 00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:54,355 ♪ Some of dem evil from dem christen... 494 00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:56,316 This is insane. There's nowhere left to camp. 495 00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,985 When you buy a ticket, you should be given an allotted space 496 00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:01,988 - with specific GPS coordinates. - That sounds fun. 497 00:22:02,155 --> 00:22:03,239 Could have gone with Amy. 498 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,491 Oi, fellas! 499 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,785 Oh, fuck. It's Rex. 500 00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:10,246 - What do we do? - Er... Just wave. 501 00:22:14,208 --> 00:22:16,808 - Maybe we should go over and say hi. - No, he'll be with Caitlin. 502 00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:18,546 Yeah, but we have to do something. 503 00:22:18,713 --> 00:22:22,300 I don't think we can spend the whole festival just waving at him. 504 00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:36,522 Yeah, I know, yeah. 505 00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:37,982 (giggles) 506 00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:43,446 (sighs) Ah... Come on. 507 00:22:47,742 --> 00:22:49,786 Boys. Long time no see. How's shiz? 508 00:22:49,952 --> 00:22:51,245 - Not bad. - Buzzing to be here. 509 00:22:51,412 --> 00:22:52,413 Nice, nice. 510 00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:53,623 Nick, I've gotta say, 511 00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:57,043 it's great to see you up and about after that little spaz-out at graduation. 512 00:22:57,210 --> 00:22:58,669 - Er... Thanks. - Seriously. 513 00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:01,005 If that was me, I'd call it quits and disappear. 514 00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:04,384 I'd, like, grow a tash, move to Belgium, open up a fucking waffle house. 515 00:23:04,967 --> 00:23:07,970 But you're not afraid to show your face in public. Total respect. 516 00:23:08,137 --> 00:23:10,556 - Where are you camping? - We haven't found anywhere yet. 517 00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:13,283 The only space was next to a guy who dug a toilet with his hands. 518 00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:16,396 - Why don't you camp here? - Oh, er... I don't know. 519 00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:18,147 Don't be silly. There's loads of room. 520 00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:20,024 This is primo real estate. 521 00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:25,905 - OK, thanks. - Hey, no problemo, hombre. 522 00:23:26,072 --> 00:23:27,782 Drop your bags here. 523 00:23:27,949 --> 00:23:30,034 The others are all chilling inside. 524 00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:32,745 Shoes off. 525 00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:34,414 Oh. Yep. 526 00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:36,666 Sorry. 527 00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:38,626 Come on in. 528 00:23:38,793 --> 00:23:40,628 Rex, this tent is amazing. 529 00:23:40,795 --> 00:23:42,338 Holy shit. Is that a wine fridge? 530 00:23:42,505 --> 00:23:43,745 - All right, lads? - Hey, Gordy. 531 00:23:43,881 --> 00:23:45,716 - Hi, Lucy. - Oh, hi. 532 00:23:45,883 --> 00:23:48,052 I'm Lucy. Nice to meet you. 533 00:23:48,219 --> 00:23:49,429 What the fuck? I know. 534 00:23:49,595 --> 00:23:50,972 We've met so many times. 535 00:23:51,139 --> 00:23:52,765 No, I don't think so. 536 00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:56,102 - I'm really good with faces. - My face hasn't changed. 537 00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:58,354 Right, here's the drug sitch. 538 00:23:59,564 --> 00:24:00,982 You hid drugs in a teddy bear? 539 00:24:01,149 --> 00:24:02,483 Mate, I'm fully kitted out. 540 00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:04,652 I'm like the James Bond of getting off your nut. 541 00:24:04,819 --> 00:24:07,405 We're talking ketamine in the bog roll, 542 00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:09,699 downers in the Right Guard, 543 00:24:09,866 --> 00:24:11,951 uppers in the maracas. 544 00:24:12,702 --> 00:24:13,911 Coke in Mr Teddy. 545 00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:16,164 Don't start without me. 546 00:24:16,914 --> 00:24:19,000 Oh, my God. Nick, hi. 547 00:24:20,209 --> 00:24:21,377 Hello, Caitlin. How are you? 548 00:24:21,544 --> 00:24:24,547 - Good, thanks. How are you? - Good, thanks. How are you? 549 00:24:24,714 --> 00:24:27,425 - Good, thanks. - Good, thanks. 550 00:24:27,592 --> 00:24:29,677 How are you? 551 00:24:30,303 --> 00:24:32,138 Wow, this is not fun. 552 00:24:32,305 --> 00:24:34,390 Nothing a few lines won't fix. 553 00:24:35,349 --> 00:24:38,144 (snorts, grunts) 554 00:24:51,866 --> 00:24:53,868 (he groans) 555 00:24:59,165 --> 00:25:02,502 Whoa. I kind of assumed it would be, like, one line each. 556 00:25:02,668 --> 00:25:05,046 One line of coke each? What is this, Midnight Mass? 557 00:25:05,213 --> 00:25:09,717 Don't worry, there's plenty more where that came from. (sniffs) 558 00:25:09,884 --> 00:25:11,969 Hang on. 559 00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:15,181 I don't think that was coke. 560 00:25:15,348 --> 00:25:16,766 I got my stashes mixed up. 561 00:25:16,933 --> 00:25:18,643 That was all ketamine. 562 00:25:18,809 --> 00:25:21,687 That's, like, the third time this year. I've gotta get a fucking pen. 563 00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:23,648 Right, gang, that's the weekend over for me. 564 00:25:23,814 --> 00:25:26,776 I'm gonna head to my tent, put on some Norah Jones and ride this one out. 565 00:25:26,943 --> 00:25:29,028 Enjoy the festival. 566 00:25:30,821 --> 00:25:32,573 Well, I don't know about you, 567 00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:35,660 but I didn't bleach my bumhole to sit around watching Gordy OD. 568 00:25:35,826 --> 00:25:38,329 - Let's get out there. (laughs) - That's a good idea. 569 00:25:38,496 --> 00:25:40,456 Caitlin, do you think we can have a quick chat? 570 00:25:40,623 --> 00:25:43,376 - Sure. What's up? - I, erm... I like the new hair. 571 00:25:43,543 --> 00:25:45,711 Thanks. Yeah, thought I'd mix it up a bit. 572 00:25:45,878 --> 00:25:47,797 - Not sure it totally worked. - No, it's good. 573 00:25:47,964 --> 00:25:49,799 Erm... What colour is that? 574 00:25:49,966 --> 00:25:51,842 - Blonde. - Yeah, no, I just... 575 00:25:52,009 --> 00:25:56,514 Sometimes they have funny names. Like, erm, Concrete Grey or Yellow... 576 00:25:56,681 --> 00:25:58,766 Yellow. 577 00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:01,644 I just wanted to say I hope it is OK if we camp with you guys. 578 00:26:01,811 --> 00:26:03,896 - No, yeah, definitely. - Cool. 579 00:26:04,063 --> 00:26:06,703 It's so great that even after the break-up we can still be friends. 580 00:26:06,816 --> 00:26:09,735 So great. We don't have to be one of those terrible couples 581 00:26:09,902 --> 00:26:11,529 who break up and turn into monsters. 582 00:26:11,696 --> 00:26:13,531 God, no. That's not us. 583 00:26:13,698 --> 00:26:15,408 We can have fun this weekend, just mates. 584 00:26:15,575 --> 00:26:17,368 Yeah, friends. 585 00:26:21,330 --> 00:26:24,000 Hey, do you wanna see something weird? 586 00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:25,960 - Yes. - Brace yourself. 587 00:26:26,127 --> 00:26:28,212 What is it? 588 00:26:28,838 --> 00:26:30,798 It's Rex's sex box. 589 00:26:30,965 --> 00:26:32,258 Check out the pink thing. 590 00:26:32,425 --> 00:26:34,510 Look at all this different stuff. 591 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,096 Peach lube and flavoured condoms? 592 00:26:37,263 --> 00:26:40,016 - How disgusting must his dick taste? - (laughs) 593 00:26:40,182 --> 00:26:41,684 Caitlin, come on, let's go. 594 00:26:41,851 --> 00:26:43,936 Sorry. 595 00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:45,896 - You coming? - I'm gonna put up my tent. 596 00:26:46,063 --> 00:26:48,941 - But see you guys out there? - Cool. See you in a bit. 597 00:26:50,026 --> 00:26:53,904 Oh. And I know it's tempting but try not to lick the sex egg. 598 00:26:54,071 --> 00:26:56,949 (laughs) 599 00:26:57,116 --> 00:26:58,409 (sighs) 600 00:26:59,285 --> 00:27:01,162 I think this weekend's gonna be really fun. 601 00:27:01,329 --> 00:27:03,748 You know, the sun's out, the old gang are back together. 602 00:27:03,914 --> 00:27:06,125 - Me and Caitlin are getting on well. - Good to hear. 603 00:27:06,584 --> 00:27:08,794 Yeah. Yeah. Just joking around, having fun. 604 00:27:08,961 --> 00:27:11,088 And who knows? One thing leads to another, we... 605 00:27:11,255 --> 00:27:13,382 I don't know. I'm not saying we get back together. 606 00:27:13,549 --> 00:27:16,218 - Did something happen? - No. We were just having a laugh. 607 00:27:16,385 --> 00:27:18,846 - I'm not saying we'll get back together. - OK, cool. 608 00:27:19,013 --> 00:27:22,284 I'm just saying, you know, one thing leads to another, maybe we do get back together. 609 00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:24,268 - Wanna get back with her? - I'm not saying that. 610 00:27:24,435 --> 00:27:28,814 Sounds like you are saying that. Getting back with an ex is never a good idea. 611 00:27:28,981 --> 00:27:32,109 It's like when you try to use the same piece of toilet paper to wipe your arse. 612 00:27:32,276 --> 00:27:35,112 You fold it over, pretending it isn't already covered in crap, 613 00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:38,949 but before you know it there's... there's shit all over your fingers, 614 00:27:39,116 --> 00:27:41,369 and you're trying to turn the tap on with your elbows, 615 00:27:41,535 --> 00:27:43,871 and your mum's going mad. She wants to use the toilet. 616 00:27:44,038 --> 00:27:46,123 - What are you talking about? - (sighs) 617 00:27:46,290 --> 00:27:48,959 Please don't make this whole weekend about you and Caitlin. 618 00:27:49,126 --> 00:27:52,296 - We came here to have fun. - I am having fun. 619 00:27:52,463 --> 00:27:54,256 Good. 620 00:27:54,423 --> 00:27:55,591 - Done. - Yeah. 621 00:27:55,758 --> 00:27:57,218 - Looking good. - Yeah. 622 00:27:57,385 --> 00:27:58,678 All right, let's do yours. 623 00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:00,221 - My what? - Your tent. 624 00:28:00,388 --> 00:28:01,555 No, I didn't bring a tent. 625 00:28:01,722 --> 00:28:03,265 What? Where are you gonna sleep? 626 00:28:03,432 --> 00:28:04,767 In there, with you. 627 00:28:04,934 --> 00:28:06,602 No, Shane, it's barely big enough for me. 628 00:28:06,769 --> 00:28:08,521 Don't worry, I'm a small sleeper. 629 00:28:08,688 --> 00:28:10,439 - What? - Shane... 630 00:28:10,606 --> 00:28:12,692 - It's so spacious. - (thunder) 631 00:28:12,942 --> 00:28:15,027 ♪ SLEAFORD MODS: TCR 632 00:28:15,277 --> 00:28:17,363 (thunder) 633 00:28:19,073 --> 00:28:21,117 ♪ TCR 634 00:28:21,992 --> 00:28:24,745 ♪ Total Control Racing 635 00:28:25,454 --> 00:28:27,540 ♪ TCR 636 00:28:27,748 --> 00:28:29,208 - Hi, guys. - Good news. 637 00:28:29,375 --> 00:28:31,836 We checked on Gordy and he is definitely still breathing. 638 00:28:32,002 --> 00:28:34,004 Cool. We're gonna get a couple more drinks here 639 00:28:34,171 --> 00:28:36,966 and then go check out this Congolese rapper, Yung Boner. 640 00:28:37,133 --> 00:28:38,801 He used to be a child soldier 641 00:28:38,968 --> 00:28:42,805 and then he gave up a full scholarship to Yale to focus on rapping. 642 00:28:42,972 --> 00:28:44,890 Lucy, by the way. 643 00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:47,101 - Rex? Rex! - Oh, fuck me. 644 00:28:47,268 --> 00:28:50,062 - The Pirate! - Hey, hey! Oh, my gosh. 645 00:28:50,229 --> 00:28:52,815 I didn't know you were gonna be here, you fucking dickweed. 646 00:28:52,982 --> 00:28:56,026 Good to see you, man. Last I heard, you were in prison in Honduras. 647 00:28:56,193 --> 00:28:58,612 No, no, I just made that up to get out of a Wonga debt. 648 00:28:58,779 --> 00:29:01,741 Look. I'm working here. PR, security, band liaison. 649 00:29:01,907 --> 00:29:04,368 I'm basically, like, the go-to guy for all the artists. 650 00:29:04,535 --> 00:29:06,704 - You know, I mean, it's no big deal. - Sweet. 651 00:29:06,871 --> 00:29:08,789 Guys, this is The Pirate. 652 00:29:08,956 --> 00:29:10,156 Pirate, these are my uni pals. 653 00:29:10,291 --> 00:29:11,667 Hey. Nice to meet you. 654 00:29:11,834 --> 00:29:13,461 Pirate. 655 00:29:13,627 --> 00:29:15,171 Pirate. Yeah. 656 00:29:15,337 --> 00:29:16,505 - Pirate. - Nick. 657 00:29:16,672 --> 00:29:19,508 Lick. Your name's fucking Lick? 658 00:29:19,675 --> 00:29:21,260 (Rex and The Pirate laugh) 659 00:29:21,427 --> 00:29:23,512 - No, no. Nick. Lick's not a name. - Right. 660 00:29:23,679 --> 00:29:25,890 I was wondering why Rex has a buddy named Lick. 661 00:29:26,056 --> 00:29:29,018 - (laughter) - My name's not Lick. 662 00:29:29,185 --> 00:29:31,020 Can you imagine going up for a job interview 663 00:29:31,187 --> 00:29:34,648 and like, being, like, "What's your name, son?" "Lick." "Lick?" 664 00:29:34,815 --> 00:29:36,901 (laughter) 665 00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:43,783 You've literally just made this up. 666 00:29:43,949 --> 00:29:45,910 We're gonna go and check out Yung Boner in a bit. 667 00:29:46,076 --> 00:29:48,204 Absolutely. I love that guy. I'll see you there. 668 00:29:48,370 --> 00:29:50,080 I gotta get some factor 50 for Thom Yorke. 669 00:29:50,247 --> 00:29:52,333 That guy does not do well in the sun. 670 00:29:53,083 --> 00:29:54,502 Great meeting you guys. 671 00:29:54,668 --> 00:29:55,669 Lick. 672 00:29:55,836 --> 00:29:57,379 Hilarious. Hilarious. 673 00:29:57,546 --> 00:29:59,632 (another ripple of laughter) 674 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:01,717 Who the hell calls themselves The Pirate? 675 00:30:01,884 --> 00:30:04,178 What, does he have a parrot and a boat and only one leg? 676 00:30:04,345 --> 00:30:06,597 He does actually only have one leg, yeah. 677 00:30:06,847 --> 00:30:09,975 He was in a car accident when he was five. They had to amputate below the knee. 678 00:30:10,226 --> 00:30:12,436 - Oh, my God. - Poor guy. 679 00:30:13,437 --> 00:30:18,025 That is obviously just so sad and... 680 00:30:18,192 --> 00:30:19,944 and tragic. 681 00:30:20,110 --> 00:30:23,197 But, I mean, there really is no way I could have known that. 682 00:30:23,364 --> 00:30:26,534 Like, The Rock isn't called The Rock cos his dad was crushed by a boulder. 683 00:30:26,826 --> 00:30:28,702 Well, who's the other one? The Edge. 684 00:30:28,869 --> 00:30:31,539 He's not called the Edge cos he nearly fell off a cliff. 685 00:30:31,705 --> 00:30:32,957 A lot of people have nicknames. 686 00:30:33,123 --> 00:30:35,918 You don't immediately think, "Oh, what's the injury?" 687 00:30:36,085 --> 00:30:38,170 Shall we get that drink? 688 00:30:39,713 --> 00:30:41,757 Yeah, get a... a drink. 689 00:30:41,924 --> 00:30:45,719 (Congolese vocals) 690 00:30:47,304 --> 00:30:48,889 Guys. Guys. 691 00:30:49,056 --> 00:30:51,642 Hey. What are you douchebags doing all the way in the back? 692 00:30:51,809 --> 00:30:53,102 Let's get down to the front. 693 00:30:53,269 --> 00:30:56,230 No, it's much better back here. And the view's actually pretty good. 694 00:30:56,397 --> 00:30:58,524 The view? (laughs) The view? 695 00:30:58,691 --> 00:31:01,694 All right, Mister Turner, you stay here and do your watercolours. 696 00:31:01,861 --> 00:31:04,488 I'm gonna go down front and feel the full force of his beats. 697 00:31:04,655 --> 00:31:06,282 - Now, who's with me? - Yeah, I'll come. 698 00:31:06,448 --> 00:31:08,033 - Yes. - Woo! Woo! 699 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:09,827 What, you're going too? 700 00:31:09,994 --> 00:31:11,537 What? It looks kind of fun down there. 701 00:31:11,704 --> 00:31:12,955 Crowds are not fun. 702 00:31:13,122 --> 00:31:15,040 Claustrophobia is not fun. 703 00:31:15,207 --> 00:31:17,793 Feeling like you're fleeing a genocide is not fun. 704 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,922 No, you're right. Let's, let's just stay here. 705 00:31:22,089 --> 00:31:23,924 (Congolese singer continues in background) 706 00:31:24,091 --> 00:31:26,176 - Just go. - Thank you. 707 00:31:29,305 --> 00:31:30,973 Enjoying the festival? 708 00:31:31,140 --> 00:31:33,058 It's my ninth year. I'm travelling solo. 709 00:31:33,225 --> 00:31:34,894 Such a great way to meet new people. 710 00:31:35,060 --> 00:31:36,145 I think it's free. 711 00:31:36,312 --> 00:31:39,648 Ah, you go ahead. I don't need the toilet. I'm just hanging. 712 00:31:40,524 --> 00:31:42,151 Enjoying the festival? 713 00:31:42,318 --> 00:31:43,402 It's my ninth year. 714 00:31:43,569 --> 00:31:46,780 I'm travelling solo. Such a great way to meet new people. 715 00:31:48,032 --> 00:31:49,199 Enjoying the festival? 716 00:31:49,408 --> 00:31:50,951 (continues singing) 717 00:31:58,792 --> 00:32:00,878 (continues singing) 718 00:32:07,635 --> 00:32:09,261 Sorry, mate. 719 00:32:09,428 --> 00:32:11,722 - Can we stand where you're standing? - Excuse me? 720 00:32:11,889 --> 00:32:14,099 Me and me mates. We just want to stand where you are. 721 00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:17,227 OK, but... right here? 722 00:32:17,394 --> 00:32:19,021 There's so much space. 723 00:32:19,188 --> 00:32:20,731 Come on, mate, don't be difficult. 724 00:32:20,898 --> 00:32:23,317 How am I being difficult? I'm just standing here. 725 00:32:23,484 --> 00:32:25,778 - Yeah, but we want to stand there. - Let him stand there. 726 00:32:25,945 --> 00:32:27,279 What? Who the fuck are you? 727 00:32:27,446 --> 00:32:29,156 Oi. Don't swear at him. 728 00:32:29,323 --> 00:32:30,866 You're ruining it for everyone. 729 00:32:31,033 --> 00:32:32,201 Just move, mate. 730 00:32:32,368 --> 00:32:34,078 - Yeah, go on. Piss off! - (jeering) 731 00:32:34,244 --> 00:32:36,163 What is happening? 732 00:32:36,330 --> 00:32:37,957 - (jeering) - What's happening? 733 00:32:38,123 --> 00:32:42,920 - Fine, fine. I'm going, I'm going. - (booing) 734 00:32:43,087 --> 00:32:45,172 - See you, then. - Dickhead. 735 00:32:47,049 --> 00:32:49,134 Thank you, thank you. 736 00:32:49,426 --> 00:32:51,136 - Nick. - Dude. 737 00:32:51,303 --> 00:32:53,305 You're even further back? Wow. 738 00:32:53,472 --> 00:32:54,932 Yeah, well, it was great, actually. 739 00:32:55,099 --> 00:32:56,976 Had a lot of personal space, a panoramic view. 740 00:32:57,142 --> 00:32:58,268 Saw the drummer really well. 741 00:32:58,435 --> 00:33:00,270 Fuck. I think I've lost my phone. 742 00:33:00,437 --> 00:33:01,689 Oh, my God. Are you sure? 743 00:33:01,855 --> 00:33:04,650 Shit. I can't believe I've lost it on the first day. I'm an idiot. 744 00:33:04,817 --> 00:33:06,235 Oh, hey, everything'll be fine. 745 00:33:06,402 --> 00:33:09,154 It's just a phone. It's only a few bits of plastic glued together. 746 00:33:09,321 --> 00:33:10,739 There's a bit more to it than that. 747 00:33:10,906 --> 00:33:12,241 We're at a festival, right? 748 00:33:12,408 --> 00:33:15,244 So just think of it as a way to get into the communal spirit of things. 749 00:33:15,411 --> 00:33:17,246 You know what? I'm jealous. 750 00:33:17,413 --> 00:33:20,708 I think the whole weekend'll be better without one of these anyways. 751 00:33:20,874 --> 00:33:22,960 Oh, shit. 752 00:33:23,669 --> 00:33:25,337 See that? No phone and I'm still alive. 753 00:33:25,504 --> 00:33:26,547 Oh, my God. 754 00:33:26,797 --> 00:33:29,925 - You didn't have to do that, but thanks. - I think that hit someone. 755 00:33:30,092 --> 00:33:33,220 Now, who's gonna buy these two phoneless freaks a drink? 756 00:33:33,637 --> 00:33:34,847 Good idea. 757 00:33:35,014 --> 00:33:36,890 Of course he's gonna tell Caitlin it's fine. 758 00:33:37,057 --> 00:33:39,727 I mean, after you've lost a leg, I'm sure a phone's nothing. 759 00:33:39,893 --> 00:33:43,313 - You're annoyed cos he calls you Lick. - It's not even a name! 760 00:33:45,399 --> 00:33:48,694 Look, I think I'm gonna try and find Caitlin's phone. 761 00:33:48,861 --> 00:33:50,821 Oh, my God, you are trying to get back with her. 762 00:33:50,988 --> 00:33:52,114 No. 763 00:33:52,281 --> 00:33:53,657 You saw how upset she was. 764 00:33:54,116 --> 00:33:56,827 Dude, just leave it. Let's get drunk and do literally anything else. 765 00:33:56,994 --> 00:33:58,203 Trust me. 766 00:33:58,370 --> 00:33:59,997 You've gotta trust me. 767 00:34:00,164 --> 00:34:01,999 Because I know what I'm doing. 768 00:34:04,209 --> 00:34:05,544 OK, that was Yung Boner. 769 00:34:05,711 --> 00:34:07,379 - Give it up for Yung Boner. - (cheering) 770 00:34:07,546 --> 00:34:10,466 Just to let you know, the food trucks have opened up back there. 771 00:34:10,632 --> 00:34:12,051 Sorry. Sorry about that. 772 00:34:12,217 --> 00:34:13,886 We've got the next band coming on. 773 00:34:14,053 --> 00:34:16,221 Two young ladies from Silver Lake in Los Angeles. 774 00:34:16,388 --> 00:34:17,681 Are you ready? 775 00:34:17,848 --> 00:34:19,975 - Give it up for Deap Vally! - (phone rings nearby) 776 00:34:20,142 --> 00:34:21,143 Phone. 777 00:34:21,310 --> 00:34:23,145 Do you mind if I...? I'm just gonna... 778 00:34:23,312 --> 00:34:24,438 (cheering) 779 00:34:24,605 --> 00:34:26,190 - I'm sorry. - (cheering) 780 00:34:26,356 --> 00:34:29,234 Can I just get that? Can I get it? 781 00:34:29,401 --> 00:34:31,737 - Can I get...? There's a... - (cheering) 782 00:34:33,822 --> 00:34:35,908 - (phone continues to ring) - See it. 783 00:34:47,419 --> 00:34:49,505 Yes! 784 00:34:50,297 --> 00:34:52,382 Eugh! 785 00:34:53,050 --> 00:34:54,468 What the fuck? You're pissing. 786 00:34:54,635 --> 00:34:56,011 Yeah. 787 00:34:56,720 --> 00:34:58,555 Why are you pissing? You just pissed on me. 788 00:34:58,722 --> 00:34:59,807 It's the front, mate. 789 00:34:59,973 --> 00:35:02,059 I mean, you're still pissing? 790 00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:05,104 Yeah. 791 00:35:05,270 --> 00:35:06,688 Fuck me. Sorry. 792 00:35:06,855 --> 00:35:09,441 Sorry. Sorry. 793 00:35:09,608 --> 00:35:12,653 Hammerhead is literally the most in-demand DJ in the world. 794 00:35:12,820 --> 00:35:14,696 You know he played at Robert Mugabe's 90th? 795 00:35:14,863 --> 00:35:17,991 It looks like Caitlin's finally gonna end her dry spell. 796 00:35:18,158 --> 00:35:19,368 - What? - Look at her. 797 00:35:19,535 --> 00:35:21,662 She's so obviously into The Pirate. 798 00:35:21,829 --> 00:35:24,790 She's picked a good 'un. Between us, he's got a big old cock. 799 00:35:25,249 --> 00:35:27,644 He calls it the plank, but we used to call it his second leg. 800 00:35:27,668 --> 00:35:29,336 (laughs) 801 00:35:29,503 --> 00:35:31,171 Oh, man, Nick'll be gutted. 802 00:35:31,338 --> 00:35:33,507 Why? It's been ages since they broke up. 803 00:35:33,674 --> 00:35:35,634 Plus they're not exactly well suited. 804 00:35:35,801 --> 00:35:40,556 Caitlin's, like, fun and, like, cool, and Nick's just so... 805 00:35:40,722 --> 00:35:43,183 - Nickish. - Yeah, Nickish, exactly. 806 00:35:43,350 --> 00:35:45,144 - What do you mean? - It's hard to explain. 807 00:35:45,602 --> 00:35:49,565 It's just when he's around, stuff is kind of much less fun. 808 00:35:49,731 --> 00:35:52,651 Yeah, first time I met him, I told him about my gap year in Australia 809 00:35:52,818 --> 00:35:55,195 and he kept talking about Aboriginal discrimination. 810 00:35:55,362 --> 00:35:58,907 Like, bloody hell, just because some convicts massacred a bunch of tribes, 811 00:35:59,074 --> 00:36:00,868 suddenly I can't go skydiving. 812 00:36:01,577 --> 00:36:02,995 Hello. 813 00:36:03,162 --> 00:36:05,080 Guys, good news. 814 00:36:05,247 --> 00:36:07,332 (mumbled response) 815 00:36:09,793 --> 00:36:13,088 - Gordy? - (mumbles) 816 00:36:13,463 --> 00:36:14,923 You all right? 817 00:36:15,090 --> 00:36:16,133 You shaved your head. 818 00:36:16,508 --> 00:36:18,385 (mumbles): All right? I said I'm... 819 00:36:18,552 --> 00:36:20,679 Gordy, do you know where Caitlin and the others are? 820 00:36:20,846 --> 00:36:22,264 (mumbles) 821 00:36:22,431 --> 00:36:23,515 It's just, er... 822 00:36:23,682 --> 00:36:27,436 Caitlin lost her phone and I went to look for it, as a friend, obviously, 823 00:36:27,603 --> 00:36:31,857 erm... and I wanna return it to her, so should I wait in there till they get back? 824 00:36:32,024 --> 00:36:33,483 (mumbles) 825 00:36:33,650 --> 00:36:35,527 Yeah, good idea. I'll just wait in there. 826 00:36:35,694 --> 00:36:38,113 - You cool there, mate? - (mumbles) 827 00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:41,158 Yeah. Well, look, let me know if you need anything. 828 00:36:42,743 --> 00:36:46,038 OK, so I hope one of you guys is gonna give me an appreciative rim job. 829 00:36:46,205 --> 00:36:48,248 Pirate just got us VIP wristbands. 830 00:36:48,415 --> 00:36:50,626 Check 'em out. These bad boys'll get you backstage. 831 00:36:50,792 --> 00:36:52,920 I don't mean to blow my own massive dick or anything 832 00:36:53,086 --> 00:36:55,088 but I am in pretty tight with all the acts, 833 00:36:55,255 --> 00:36:57,966 so if you play your cards right, I might even introduce you. 834 00:36:58,133 --> 00:37:00,093 Holy shit. I'm gonna meet Hammerhead. 835 00:37:00,385 --> 00:37:04,056 Yeah, see, the thing is, I could only get three wristbands, so... 836 00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:06,642 You understand, right? 837 00:37:07,226 --> 00:37:08,894 Yeah. Yeah. 838 00:37:09,061 --> 00:37:10,312 It's fine. 839 00:37:10,479 --> 00:37:12,731 Sorry... mate. 840 00:37:12,898 --> 00:37:14,298 You don't remember my name, do you? 841 00:37:14,441 --> 00:37:16,193 I wanna say Dougie. 842 00:37:21,114 --> 00:37:23,492 "Nick, what are you doing in here?" I found your phone. 843 00:37:23,659 --> 00:37:25,953 (as Caitlin): "Oh, my God, Nick, you're incredible." 844 00:37:26,119 --> 00:37:29,456 Incredible is a strong word, Caitlin, but, yeah, I'll take it. 845 00:37:29,623 --> 00:37:31,208 (as Caitlin): "Oh, kiss me." 846 00:37:31,375 --> 00:37:33,835 What? But, Caitlin, we're broken up. 847 00:37:34,002 --> 00:37:36,880 (as Caitlin): "I don't care. I want you inside me." 848 00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:45,931 (giggling) 849 00:37:46,098 --> 00:37:47,516 (voices nearby) 850 00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:53,605 Oh, shit. 851 00:37:56,733 --> 00:37:58,235 Fuck. 852 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:09,955 - Do you smell piss? - Who cares? 853 00:38:10,122 --> 00:38:11,915 - Mm. - Let me get this off. 854 00:38:12,082 --> 00:38:13,208 (giggles) 855 00:38:25,095 --> 00:38:27,472 (squeals) 856 00:38:27,639 --> 00:38:29,224 (giggling) 857 00:38:32,227 --> 00:38:33,603 Six years ago, did it. 858 00:38:33,770 --> 00:38:35,397 Five years ago, did it. 859 00:38:35,564 --> 00:38:36,773 Four years ago, did it. 860 00:38:36,940 --> 00:38:38,567 Three years ago, did it. 861 00:38:38,734 --> 00:38:40,777 Two years ago, did it. 862 00:38:40,944 --> 00:38:42,279 One year ago, did it. 863 00:38:42,446 --> 00:38:44,781 You guys look like you're having great fun. 864 00:38:44,948 --> 00:38:46,033 (collective groaning) 865 00:38:46,199 --> 00:38:48,285 I'm Amy, by the way. 866 00:38:48,910 --> 00:38:50,829 - Oh, Caitlin. - Oh, Pirate. 867 00:38:51,038 --> 00:38:53,373 - Oh, Caitlin. - Oh, Pirate. 868 00:38:53,707 --> 00:38:57,169 - Oh, Caitlin. - Oh, Pirate. 869 00:38:57,336 --> 00:38:59,588 You wanna walk the plank, you naughty girl? 870 00:38:59,755 --> 00:39:01,673 Yeah, I wanna walk the plank. 871 00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:03,925 - Yeah? Yeah? OK. - (giggles) 872 00:39:04,551 --> 00:39:06,553 You need to walk the plank. 873 00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:08,430 Here we go. 874 00:39:08,597 --> 00:39:10,682 (moans) 875 00:39:12,017 --> 00:39:13,018 (screams) 876 00:39:13,185 --> 00:39:15,062 Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 877 00:39:15,228 --> 00:39:16,438 - Oh, shit! - Sorry... 878 00:39:16,605 --> 00:39:18,482 - Lick! - Sorry, sorry, sorry. 879 00:39:19,649 --> 00:39:21,234 NICK: It isn't that bad. 880 00:39:21,401 --> 00:39:22,611 It was a misunderstanding. 881 00:39:22,778 --> 00:39:25,072 It must happen all the time. 882 00:39:25,238 --> 00:39:28,116 Yeah. She's probably really happy you gave her phone back. 883 00:39:28,283 --> 00:39:30,369 - Exactly. - Guys? 884 00:39:30,911 --> 00:39:31,995 Listen, guys... 885 00:39:32,162 --> 00:39:34,247 Fuck me, what's that smell? 886 00:39:35,415 --> 00:39:37,125 Oh. A man pissed on me earlier. 887 00:39:37,292 --> 00:39:39,044 Can you just come out here, please? 888 00:39:43,924 --> 00:39:45,592 So, we were having a chat 889 00:39:45,759 --> 00:39:48,470 and we were thinking maybe you guys shouldn't stay here any more. 890 00:39:48,637 --> 00:39:50,389 What? We're not sex offenders. 891 00:39:50,555 --> 00:39:51,973 Nick, it's been decided. 892 00:39:52,140 --> 00:39:55,268 Oh, it's been decided, has it? Sorry, we actually live in a democracy. 893 00:39:55,435 --> 00:39:57,020 We didn't fight Hitler 894 00:39:57,187 --> 00:40:00,399 so that people like you could go around just telling other people 895 00:40:00,565 --> 00:40:02,317 where they can be at festivals. 896 00:40:02,484 --> 00:40:04,444 We should at least have a vote. 897 00:40:05,362 --> 00:40:07,823 - Fine, we'll vote. - Fine. 898 00:40:07,989 --> 00:40:10,117 Those in favour of us staying. 899 00:40:10,283 --> 00:40:12,369 Those in favour of them leaving. 900 00:40:14,496 --> 00:40:16,790 What about Gordy? Gordy hasn't voted. Gordy gets a vote. 901 00:40:16,957 --> 00:40:19,167 Gordy, do you want me and Shane to stay? 902 00:40:19,334 --> 00:40:21,086 If you do, raise your hand. 903 00:40:26,675 --> 00:40:29,010 There you go. Three all. Unlucky, Rex. 904 00:40:29,177 --> 00:40:32,055 - What about me? I didn't get to vote. - You're not part of the group. 905 00:40:32,222 --> 00:40:34,474 He's having sex with Caitlin. He's part of the group. 906 00:40:34,641 --> 00:40:36,726 "He's having sex with Caitlin." Fine, new vote. 907 00:40:36,893 --> 00:40:38,103 Is Pirate part of the group? 908 00:40:38,270 --> 00:40:39,980 If you think he is, raise your hand. 909 00:40:41,523 --> 00:40:43,316 One, two, three. That's a tie. 910 00:40:43,483 --> 00:40:45,569 Oh, Gordy, for fuck's sake! 911 00:40:45,735 --> 00:40:47,821 ♪ BEAR HANDS: 2AM 912 00:40:48,697 --> 00:40:50,949 ♪ Can't remember anything else 913 00:40:51,116 --> 00:40:55,412 ♪ Nothing good happens past 2am 914 00:40:55,579 --> 00:40:57,497 There's somewhere to camp just past here. 915 00:40:57,664 --> 00:40:58,957 No, this way. 916 00:40:59,124 --> 00:41:01,042 ♪ Text me back 917 00:41:01,209 --> 00:41:02,878 I think it was this way. 918 00:41:03,044 --> 00:41:04,963 I definitely saw a space down here. 919 00:41:05,130 --> 00:41:07,549 Bet you're glad now we've only got one tent. Less to carry. 920 00:41:07,716 --> 00:41:09,259 - Please stop talking. - Just saying. 921 00:41:09,426 --> 00:41:11,186 Cos we've been walking for a long time and... 922 00:41:11,595 --> 00:41:12,804 Just no talking at all. 923 00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:17,642 ♪ Nothing good happens past 2am 924 00:41:34,409 --> 00:41:36,495 It's so hot in here. 925 00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,206 How did it get so hot? 926 00:41:41,249 --> 00:41:43,335 My balls are sopping wet. 927 00:41:44,794 --> 00:41:48,006 I feel like it's brighter in here than it is just outside. 928 00:41:49,883 --> 00:41:51,009 (exhales) 929 00:41:54,804 --> 00:41:56,890 - (straining) - This is a nice spot. 930 00:41:57,724 --> 00:41:59,518 Oh, my giddy God! Shane! 931 00:41:59,684 --> 00:42:00,685 Nick! 932 00:42:00,852 --> 00:42:02,103 What are you guys doing here? 933 00:42:02,270 --> 00:42:05,315 - There's nowhere else left to camp. - Nick got caught watching his ex 934 00:42:05,482 --> 00:42:07,901 - suck off a guy with one leg. - Ah, rookie mistake. 935 00:42:08,068 --> 00:42:10,820 I can't believe it. The train gang are back together. 936 00:42:10,987 --> 00:42:12,989 I'm gonna show you guys the best time. 937 00:42:13,156 --> 00:42:15,158 - What shall we do first? - Well, I stink of piss. 938 00:42:15,325 --> 00:42:17,244 I should probably do something about that. 939 00:42:17,410 --> 00:42:19,120 What about you, Shane? Gonna scrub up? 940 00:42:19,287 --> 00:42:20,455 (sniffs) No. 941 00:42:20,872 --> 00:42:21,957 Au naturel. I like it. 942 00:42:22,123 --> 00:42:24,751 Embracing the stink is what festivals are all about. 943 00:42:24,918 --> 00:42:27,462 Before we head off, we should probably get some breakfast. 944 00:42:27,629 --> 00:42:28,672 Is that all you're having? 945 00:42:28,838 --> 00:42:31,675 Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Got almonds in it. It's something. 946 00:42:31,841 --> 00:42:34,844 Shane, you can't just eat Toblerone like some weirdo autistic prince. 947 00:42:35,011 --> 00:42:37,097 Here, have some proper food. 948 00:42:40,433 --> 00:42:42,060 - What the hell is that? - Chaffney. 949 00:42:42,227 --> 00:42:44,354 - Chaffney? - It's a family recipe. 950 00:42:44,521 --> 00:42:46,565 Chaffney is a delicious all-in-one stew 951 00:42:46,731 --> 00:42:49,025 jam-packed with every nutrient you need to survive. 952 00:42:49,192 --> 00:42:51,444 One bite of Chaffney will keep you going for hours. 953 00:42:51,611 --> 00:42:53,822 Chaffney is the perfect festival food. 954 00:43:04,749 --> 00:43:07,335 - That is incredible. - Told you. 955 00:43:07,502 --> 00:43:09,337 Dude, Amy's sorted us breakfast. 956 00:43:09,504 --> 00:43:12,966 Get some of this down you. Then we'll get this show on the road. 957 00:43:14,175 --> 00:43:15,927 - I'll buy something. - Suit yourself. 958 00:43:16,094 --> 00:43:19,055 While we're out and about, you can spend £20 on some fancy burger 959 00:43:19,222 --> 00:43:22,475 that's probably full of horsemeat, Shane and I will fill up on Chaffney. 960 00:43:22,642 --> 00:43:24,811 Full disclosure: there is horsemeat in Chaffney. 961 00:43:24,978 --> 00:43:26,938 Let's get ready. 962 00:43:27,105 --> 00:43:29,190 ♪ THE KILLERS: Mr Brightside 963 00:43:31,610 --> 00:43:32,944 ♪ Coming out of my cage 964 00:43:33,111 --> 00:43:34,613 ♪ And I've been doing just fine 965 00:43:34,779 --> 00:43:36,197 ♪ Gotta gotta be down 966 00:43:36,364 --> 00:43:37,741 ♪ Because I want it all 967 00:43:37,907 --> 00:43:39,284 ♪ It started out with a kiss 968 00:43:39,659 --> 00:43:41,161 ♪ How did it end up like this? 969 00:43:41,328 --> 00:43:44,164 ♪ It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss 970 00:43:44,331 --> 00:43:45,915 ♪ Now I'm falling asleep 971 00:43:46,082 --> 00:43:47,500 ♪ And she's calling a cab 972 00:43:47,667 --> 00:43:49,127 ♪ While he's having a smoke 973 00:43:49,294 --> 00:43:50,712 ♪ And she's taking a drag 974 00:43:50,879 --> 00:43:52,213 ♪ Now they're going to bed 975 00:43:52,380 --> 00:43:53,923 ♪ And my stomach is sick 976 00:43:54,090 --> 00:43:55,675 ♪ And it's all in my head 977 00:43:55,842 --> 00:43:57,302 ♪ But she's touching his chest now 978 00:43:57,469 --> 00:43:58,678 (laughs) 979 00:43:58,845 --> 00:44:01,765 ♪ He takes off her dress now 980 00:44:02,015 --> 00:44:04,601 ♪ Letting me go 981 00:44:10,398 --> 00:44:15,278 ♪ And I just can't look, it's killing me 982 00:44:15,945 --> 00:44:19,699 ♪ And taking control 983 00:44:23,203 --> 00:44:27,832 ♪ Jealousy, turning saints into the sea 984 00:44:27,999 --> 00:44:30,960 ♪ Swimming through sick lullabies 985 00:44:31,127 --> 00:44:34,464 ♪ Choking on your alibis - (cheering) 986 00:44:34,631 --> 00:44:37,425 ♪ But it's just the price I pay 987 00:44:37,592 --> 00:44:40,804 ♪ Destiny is calling me 988 00:44:40,970 --> 00:44:46,101 ♪ Open up my eager eyes - (laughter) 989 00:44:46,267 --> 00:44:49,229 ♪ Cos I'm Mr Brightside 990 00:44:52,774 --> 00:44:55,485 You know, this place is even better when you're not on your own. 991 00:44:55,652 --> 00:44:57,070 Thanks for showing us around, Amy. 992 00:44:57,237 --> 00:44:59,656 It's been the best day since Robin broke both his ankles. 993 00:44:59,823 --> 00:45:01,616 I haven't sat down in, like, nine hours. 994 00:45:01,783 --> 00:45:03,618 They should have more places to sit down. 995 00:45:03,785 --> 00:45:05,870 And also it's too muddy. 996 00:45:07,372 --> 00:45:08,915 (under his breath): Oh, shit. 997 00:45:09,082 --> 00:45:10,542 Hi, guys. 998 00:45:10,709 --> 00:45:12,127 - Hey. - Hi. 999 00:45:12,293 --> 00:45:15,839 Listen, I know things got a little bit weird last night after what you guys did, 1000 00:45:16,005 --> 00:45:17,924 but it's water under the bridge. 1001 00:45:18,091 --> 00:45:20,301 - I didn't do anything. - Apology accepted. (laughs) 1002 00:45:20,468 --> 00:45:22,053 To be honest, we've had a great day. 1003 00:45:22,220 --> 00:45:23,763 You know me, just going with the flow. 1004 00:45:23,930 --> 00:45:26,182 We found a great new place to camp next to the toilets. 1005 00:45:26,349 --> 00:45:29,018 I've had a wash. I don't smell of piss any more. Not very much. 1006 00:45:29,185 --> 00:45:30,437 Basically it's all chill. 1007 00:45:30,603 --> 00:45:31,980 Harry Potter! 1008 00:45:32,147 --> 00:45:34,190 - Harry Potter! - Hey, who's your buddy, Lick? 1009 00:45:34,357 --> 00:45:35,859 Oh, I don't know him, but he's funny. 1010 00:45:36,109 --> 00:45:37,485 - All right, mate? - Harry Potter! 1011 00:45:37,652 --> 00:45:41,072 Harry Potter. I mean, I do not look like Harry Potter at all. 1012 00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:42,240 Oh... 1013 00:45:42,407 --> 00:45:44,242 One person I do not look like is Harry Potter. 1014 00:45:44,617 --> 00:45:46,095 Come on, Harry, let's play Quidditch. 1015 00:45:46,119 --> 00:45:47,495 Yeah! Oh. (laughs) 1016 00:45:47,662 --> 00:45:49,706 - That's not how you play Quidditch. - (laughter) 1017 00:45:49,873 --> 00:45:52,542 What have you been watching? Fucking hell. 1018 00:45:52,751 --> 00:45:54,836 Can someone get him off? Oh, shit. 1019 00:45:55,003 --> 00:45:56,546 (muffled groan) 1020 00:45:56,713 --> 00:45:58,590 - Help. Can someone get him off? - (laughter) 1021 00:45:58,757 --> 00:46:00,508 - Harry, go on. Catch this. - (laughter) 1022 00:46:00,717 --> 00:46:03,052 - Can someone get him off? He's mental. - Harry Potter! 1023 00:46:03,219 --> 00:46:05,638 - Oh, my God. Indian street food. - It's Harry Potter. 1024 00:46:05,805 --> 00:46:07,891 SHANE: Yeah. I know. Harry Potter. 1025 00:46:10,226 --> 00:46:11,227 - Nick. - Nick. 1026 00:46:11,394 --> 00:46:13,271 It's just mud, with a bit of shit mixed in. 1027 00:46:13,438 --> 00:46:15,815 Guys, seriously, I'm through. 1028 00:46:15,982 --> 00:46:19,152 The only person who will ever love me 1029 00:46:19,319 --> 00:46:20,862 and her new fuck buddy 1030 00:46:21,029 --> 00:46:22,280 just watched me drink mud. 1031 00:46:22,447 --> 00:46:23,656 I am done. 1032 00:46:23,823 --> 00:46:26,618 I just want to go back to the tent and hide there 1033 00:46:26,785 --> 00:46:28,578 until this fucking festival is over 1034 00:46:28,745 --> 00:46:31,915 and I can go home and have a proper shower and a poo. 1035 00:46:34,334 --> 00:46:36,419 Nick. 1036 00:46:39,756 --> 00:46:42,175 - Shall we go with him? - Nah, he's all right. 1037 00:46:43,134 --> 00:46:45,428 He gets like this. The trick is to give him some space. 1038 00:46:45,595 --> 00:46:47,931 In that case, do you wanna do something cool? 1039 00:46:48,097 --> 00:46:49,224 Yes. 1040 00:46:49,390 --> 00:46:51,184 In the woods behind the hippie field 1041 00:46:51,518 --> 00:46:54,687 there's a stone circle with a rock that looks just like Mark Ruffalo. 1042 00:46:54,854 --> 00:46:57,565 I've always been too spooked to go by myself. 1043 00:46:57,732 --> 00:47:00,860 - Do you wanna go check it out? - Yes, I love rocks that look like things. 1044 00:47:01,027 --> 00:47:03,947 ♪ Ooh woo, I'm a rebel just for kicks, now 1045 00:47:04,113 --> 00:47:06,783 ♪ I been feeling it since 1966, now 1046 00:47:06,950 --> 00:47:09,828 ♪ Might have had your fill, but you feel it still... 1047 00:47:13,498 --> 00:47:16,417 And that's why I left Australia at 16 with nothing but a backpack 1048 00:47:16,584 --> 00:47:18,211 and my grandad's World War II revolver. 1049 00:47:18,461 --> 00:47:20,296 Obviously they took that off me at Customs. 1050 00:47:20,463 --> 00:47:21,548 How do you know Nick? 1051 00:47:21,714 --> 00:47:23,554 We lived next door to each other in first year. 1052 00:47:23,842 --> 00:47:25,762 I was cooking pasta and I set my curtains on fire 1053 00:47:25,927 --> 00:47:27,720 and Nick came in and helped me put them out, 1054 00:47:27,887 --> 00:47:29,722 and he's been looking out for me ever since. 1055 00:47:29,889 --> 00:47:32,433 - What are your friends like? - I don't really have any. 1056 00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:36,813 People tend to hang out with me for a bit and then, I don't know, stop. 1057 00:47:36,980 --> 00:47:39,190 My mum says I'm like a little bush fire: 1058 00:47:39,357 --> 00:47:42,360 exciting at first but you don't want it anywhere near your house. 1059 00:47:42,527 --> 00:47:44,279 - Can I ask you a question? - Sure thing. 1060 00:47:44,445 --> 00:47:46,072 - Are we lost? - No, no, no, no. 1061 00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:49,993 Because that was East, so we're headed West, because that's the North Star up... 1062 00:47:50,159 --> 00:47:52,245 That's the moon. Yeah, we're lost. 1063 00:47:52,662 --> 00:47:55,540 (chanting): Ah-oo-wen, ah-oo-wen... 1064 00:47:55,707 --> 00:47:57,542 Hey, can you hear that? 1065 00:47:58,751 --> 00:48:00,295 Yeah. 1066 00:48:00,461 --> 00:48:05,425 (chanting): Ah-oo-wen, ah-oo-wen... 1067 00:48:05,592 --> 00:48:10,471 Ah-oo-wen, ah-oo-wen... 1068 00:48:11,264 --> 00:48:16,227 Ah-oo-wen, ah-oo-wen... 1069 00:48:17,186 --> 00:48:18,563 What is that? 1070 00:48:18,730 --> 00:48:21,149 Maybe they're filming an advert. 1071 00:48:21,316 --> 00:48:23,067 For what? 1072 00:48:23,234 --> 00:48:25,028 Fire? 1073 00:48:25,194 --> 00:48:27,947 This is creeping me out. I think we should leave. 1074 00:48:28,948 --> 00:48:31,993 Who dares enter our sacred grove? 1075 00:48:35,163 --> 00:48:37,874 - Please don't eat us. - I know I look athletic but it's all fat. 1076 00:48:38,041 --> 00:48:42,670 Why do people always assume we're going to eat them? 1077 00:48:43,796 --> 00:48:46,841 We're Druids, 1078 00:48:47,008 --> 00:48:48,134 not cannibals. 1079 00:48:48,426 --> 00:48:50,345 Whoa. You guys are Druids? 1080 00:48:50,511 --> 00:48:53,556 I'm Brother Julian, High Priest of this sect. 1081 00:48:53,723 --> 00:48:55,516 I'm really sorry if we scared you. 1082 00:48:55,683 --> 00:48:58,895 We thought you might be a couple of those Wiccan pricks. 1083 00:48:59,062 --> 00:49:00,063 (laughs) 1084 00:49:00,229 --> 00:49:03,191 You've stumbled upon our annual summer solstice celebration. 1085 00:49:03,358 --> 00:49:06,027 But this year is extra special. 1086 00:49:06,653 --> 00:49:09,030 My son David is taking a bride. 1087 00:49:09,197 --> 00:49:11,658 Oh, congrats. We'll get out of your hair. 1088 00:49:11,824 --> 00:49:14,619 - Yeah, we don't wanna crash. - No, no. This is a joyous occasion. 1089 00:49:14,786 --> 00:49:18,790 As father of the groom, it's my duty to invite you to join in our festivities. 1090 00:49:18,957 --> 00:49:20,583 Oh, well... 1091 00:49:20,750 --> 00:49:24,170 - (singsong): There's a hog roast. - That could actually be great. 1092 00:49:24,337 --> 00:49:26,631 - We haven't had any hot food. - Pork would be nice. 1093 00:49:26,798 --> 00:49:29,592 Libations for our guests. (laughs) 1094 00:49:30,718 --> 00:49:31,928 Plastic cups OK? 1095 00:49:36,182 --> 00:49:38,267 Aagh! 1096 00:49:38,893 --> 00:49:41,104 - Shit. - Argh. 1097 00:49:41,270 --> 00:49:42,522 Shit. Are you OK? 1098 00:49:42,689 --> 00:49:44,107 The security prick's chasing me. 1099 00:49:44,273 --> 00:49:46,693 - You've got to hide me. - Er... You can hide in my tent. 1100 00:49:47,110 --> 00:49:48,945 Great. Thanks. 1101 00:49:50,571 --> 00:49:52,240 Hello, Officer. 1102 00:49:52,407 --> 00:49:54,492 What a fine summer's eve it is. 1103 00:49:57,412 --> 00:49:59,414 Coast is clear. 1104 00:49:59,580 --> 00:50:02,166 (laughs) What was that "summer's eve" shit? 1105 00:50:02,333 --> 00:50:04,085 I panicked. Why was he chasing you? 1106 00:50:04,252 --> 00:50:06,337 Caught me stealing fruit from Tame Impala's yurt. 1107 00:50:06,504 --> 00:50:08,464 Just had to get me bowels moving. 1108 00:50:08,631 --> 00:50:11,634 - You're a Smurf. - Yeah, hen do. We've all come as Smurfs. 1109 00:50:11,801 --> 00:50:14,303 Got split up a couple of hours ago when I went out on the rob. 1110 00:50:14,470 --> 00:50:16,790 If I see loads of Smurfs, I'll say you're looking for them. 1111 00:50:16,931 --> 00:50:20,935 Don't bother. I've got all the MDMA, so it's actually worked out really well. 1112 00:50:21,102 --> 00:50:22,770 Hey, I totally owe you. 1113 00:50:22,937 --> 00:50:24,772 - Do you fancy a bit? - Oh, no, thanks. 1114 00:50:24,939 --> 00:50:28,026 - I'm... full. - Full? 1115 00:50:28,192 --> 00:50:30,194 - Also I'm not really in the mood. - Huh! 1116 00:50:30,361 --> 00:50:33,906 That's exactly why this stuff was invented. Come on. It'll be fun. 1117 00:50:35,408 --> 00:50:37,285 - Are you sure it's safe? - Oh, don't worry. 1118 00:50:37,452 --> 00:50:40,997 My girlfriend's had them tested. There's no cement mix in these ones. 1119 00:50:41,164 --> 00:50:43,833 - I don't know. - Maybe just start with a half? 1120 00:50:47,378 --> 00:50:50,173 Come on. Open wide. 1121 00:50:56,888 --> 00:50:57,930 Good boy. 1122 00:50:58,097 --> 00:51:01,559 I'm not gonna imagine my dick's a sausage and start trying to fry it, am I? 1123 00:51:01,726 --> 00:51:03,686 Guess we'll find out. 1124 00:51:03,853 --> 00:51:05,730 ♪ THE KILLERS: Mr Brightside 1125 00:51:11,611 --> 00:51:13,529 ♪ I just can't look 1126 00:51:13,696 --> 00:51:16,199 ♪ It's killing me 1127 00:51:18,034 --> 00:51:21,579 ♪ And taking control 1128 00:51:29,462 --> 00:51:32,381 ♪ But it's just the price I pay 1129 00:51:32,548 --> 00:51:36,052 ♪ Destiny is calling me 1130 00:51:36,344 --> 00:51:41,307 ♪ Open up my eager eyes 1131 00:51:42,225 --> 00:51:45,436 ♪ Cos I'm Mr Brightside 1132 00:51:46,104 --> 00:51:47,313 (nearby laughter) 1133 00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:49,524 (laughs) Brother Shane, Sister Amy. 1134 00:51:49,690 --> 00:51:51,484 I do trust you're enjoying yourselves. 1135 00:51:51,651 --> 00:51:53,291 Would you care for another cup of Pimm's? 1136 00:51:53,444 --> 00:51:55,530 Oh, I don't mind if I do. Thank you. 1137 00:51:55,988 --> 00:51:57,990 Ah, I'd like you to meet my son. 1138 00:51:58,157 --> 00:51:59,408 The lucky man. 1139 00:51:59,575 --> 00:52:02,036 - Great to meet you, Brother David. - Yeah, congrats. 1140 00:52:02,203 --> 00:52:03,871 Are you nervous? 1141 00:52:04,038 --> 00:52:05,873 Is it that obvious? 1142 00:52:06,958 --> 00:52:09,168 (laughs) I'm only joking. 1143 00:52:09,335 --> 00:52:10,795 (they laugh) 1144 00:52:10,962 --> 00:52:12,882 No, I've been looking forward to this for months. 1145 00:52:13,047 --> 00:52:16,134 A wedding is the most incredible day of any Druid's life. 1146 00:52:16,300 --> 00:52:18,761 Thanks for letting us stay. Tonight's been awesome. 1147 00:52:18,928 --> 00:52:22,056 You know, I am so glad that you're enjoying yourselves. 1148 00:52:22,223 --> 00:52:24,559 Not always the case with outsiders. 1149 00:52:24,725 --> 00:52:27,019 How could anyone not love you guys? 1150 00:52:27,186 --> 00:52:31,732 Oh, I don't know. I think they just find our customs a bit odd and confusing. 1151 00:52:31,899 --> 00:52:33,234 But who are they to judge? 1152 00:52:33,401 --> 00:52:35,611 We're just a little bit different, that's all. 1153 00:52:35,778 --> 00:52:39,782 And there is nothing wrong with being a little bit different. 1154 00:52:40,408 --> 00:52:42,535 Yeah, we are normal people, really. 1155 00:52:42,702 --> 00:52:43,828 Dad's a lawyer. 1156 00:52:43,995 --> 00:52:46,414 Sister Mary over there is a thoracic surgeon. 1157 00:52:46,581 --> 00:52:48,708 - I'm a music manager. - No way! 1158 00:52:48,875 --> 00:52:50,918 A few of my clients are playing at the festival. 1159 00:52:51,085 --> 00:52:54,255 TurboChair, Telephone Telephone, Hammerhead... 1160 00:52:54,422 --> 00:52:56,340 You represent Hammerhead? He's amazing. 1161 00:52:56,507 --> 00:52:59,719 Yeah? Well, if you like, you can take these wristbands 1162 00:52:59,886 --> 00:53:01,512 and watch his set from backstage 1163 00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:02,805 and maybe even meet him. 1164 00:53:02,972 --> 00:53:05,016 (whimpers) Are you serious? 1165 00:53:05,183 --> 00:53:07,977 - Anything for a fellow Druid. - (laughter) 1166 00:53:08,144 --> 00:53:10,229 - (horn) - The nuptial horn bloweth. 1167 00:53:10,855 --> 00:53:12,940 It's time for the binding ceremony. 1168 00:53:13,107 --> 00:53:14,400 The binding ceremony? 1169 00:53:14,567 --> 00:53:17,695 Yes. It's the most cherished part of the marriage ritual. 1170 00:53:17,862 --> 00:53:20,156 No union is sacred without it. 1171 00:53:20,323 --> 00:53:22,867 - We're honoured to be a part of this. - Oh... 1172 00:53:23,034 --> 00:53:25,453 Brothers and Sisters, 1173 00:53:25,620 --> 00:53:31,751 the time has come for Brother David to be bound to his new wife for all eternity, 1174 00:53:32,501 --> 00:53:34,545 under the light of the moon. 1175 00:53:34,712 --> 00:53:37,215 - (chanting): Ah-oo-wen, Ah-oo-wen... - Oh, no. 1176 00:53:37,381 --> 00:53:40,843 I've heard about this sort of thing. I think they're gonna sacrifice the goat. 1177 00:53:41,010 --> 00:53:42,053 Oh, shit. 1178 00:53:42,511 --> 00:53:44,013 Let the binding commence. 1179 00:53:46,265 --> 00:53:48,476 - OK, what's happening now? - I don't know. 1180 00:53:49,143 --> 00:53:50,978 Brother Julian, what's going on? 1181 00:53:51,145 --> 00:53:53,689 Well, my son is about to be bound to his new bride. 1182 00:53:53,856 --> 00:53:55,691 Oh, but I thought that was his wife. 1183 00:53:55,858 --> 00:53:57,610 No, no. 1184 00:53:57,777 --> 00:54:00,363 - No, David is marrying the goat. (chanting): The binding. 1185 00:54:00,529 --> 00:54:02,031 (he grunts) 1186 00:54:02,782 --> 00:54:04,283 - Ooh. - (bleats) 1187 00:54:04,450 --> 00:54:05,660 - Oh, my God. - Fucking hell. 1188 00:54:05,826 --> 00:54:08,454 (Druids chant): The binding, the binding. 1189 00:54:08,621 --> 00:54:10,206 Ooh hoo! 1190 00:54:10,373 --> 00:54:13,668 (Druids chant): The binding, the binding. 1191 00:54:13,834 --> 00:54:15,920 (moaning) 1192 00:54:16,545 --> 00:54:18,965 It's so fucking great we can use your car for this. 1193 00:54:19,131 --> 00:54:21,384 What? Thought this was your car. 1194 00:54:21,550 --> 00:54:24,053 - No. I don't have a car. - Oh. 1195 00:54:24,220 --> 00:54:26,889 Whose car is this? How did we even get in here? 1196 00:54:27,056 --> 00:54:29,058 - Fuck it. Who cares? - (laughs) 1197 00:54:29,225 --> 00:54:30,935 You're so naughty. 1198 00:54:31,102 --> 00:54:32,353 - (laughs) - It's amazing. 1199 00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:34,146 Everything's amazing. 1200 00:54:34,313 --> 00:54:36,649 You're sitting on my penis. That's amazing. 1201 00:54:38,859 --> 00:54:41,237 - I love you. - I love you too. 1202 00:54:47,159 --> 00:54:48,411 (she cries out) 1203 00:54:48,577 --> 00:54:50,705 (snorts, breathes) 1204 00:54:51,747 --> 00:54:53,833 (groans) 1205 00:54:55,876 --> 00:54:57,253 Shit. 1206 00:55:00,131 --> 00:55:01,549 That's not good. 1207 00:55:04,719 --> 00:55:06,429 (winces) 1208 00:55:11,309 --> 00:55:12,310 (knocks) 1209 00:55:13,269 --> 00:55:15,980 - What the hell are you doing in my car? - Oh, shit. 1210 00:55:16,147 --> 00:55:17,732 Sorry, sorry. 1211 00:55:17,898 --> 00:55:19,567 Sorry, mate. I'm sorry. 1212 00:55:19,734 --> 00:55:21,652 The car's fine. 1213 00:55:22,695 --> 00:55:25,156 Oh, fuck. I thought it was her car. 1214 00:55:26,949 --> 00:55:28,284 It was a romantic gesture! 1215 00:55:28,451 --> 00:55:30,161 Oi! Get back here now! 1216 00:55:30,619 --> 00:55:32,413 I'm gonna call the police! 1217 00:55:50,264 --> 00:55:52,600 - Good morning, Amy. - Good morning, Shane. 1218 00:55:57,688 --> 00:55:59,482 This weather. 1219 00:55:59,648 --> 00:56:01,025 Wind. 1220 00:56:01,192 --> 00:56:03,277 Blow... Blows. 1221 00:56:06,113 --> 00:56:07,907 So last night was pretty weird, wasn't it? 1222 00:56:08,074 --> 00:56:10,659 Oh, my God, it was so weird! It went on for so long. 1223 00:56:10,826 --> 00:56:13,079 I didn't know it was possible to have sex for that long. 1224 00:56:13,245 --> 00:56:16,624 I think it's one of those things that might make a funny anecdote one day. 1225 00:56:16,791 --> 00:56:19,126 Obviously right now, it's just incredibly horrific. 1226 00:56:19,293 --> 00:56:21,962 Let's just never talk about it ever again. Take it to our graves. 1227 00:56:22,129 --> 00:56:24,507 Good idea. I'm already taking 12 other things to my grave, 1228 00:56:24,673 --> 00:56:26,133 so I can always add something else. 1229 00:56:27,343 --> 00:56:28,969 Nick, where have you been? 1230 00:56:29,136 --> 00:56:30,262 Are you OK? 1231 00:56:30,429 --> 00:56:32,765 Yeah. Yeah, I'm better than OK. 1232 00:56:32,932 --> 00:56:35,351 I just had the best night of my entire life. 1233 00:56:35,518 --> 00:56:38,020 I met this... this Smurf. 1234 00:56:38,187 --> 00:56:39,605 It's all a bit of a daze. 1235 00:56:39,772 --> 00:56:41,482 I remember laughing and dancing. 1236 00:56:41,649 --> 00:56:43,317 We definitely had sex. 1237 00:56:43,484 --> 00:56:45,694 - Oh, yeah. I've got this now. - Holy shit. 1238 00:56:45,861 --> 00:56:46,987 Is that a nipple piercing? 1239 00:56:47,154 --> 00:56:50,366 I've got no idea where that came from. Also, I don't know where Smurf Girl is. 1240 00:56:50,533 --> 00:56:54,036 - I woke up this morning and she was gone. - The perfect festival romance. 1241 00:56:54,203 --> 00:56:56,914 She's amazing. I've never felt that connected to anyone, ever. 1242 00:56:57,081 --> 00:56:58,874 - Been taking drugs? - She was incredible. 1243 00:56:59,041 --> 00:57:02,378 Like some beautiful, crazy angel. 1244 00:57:02,545 --> 00:57:03,921 Yeah, you've been taking drugs. 1245 00:57:04,088 --> 00:57:06,090 And then... she was gone. 1246 00:57:06,257 --> 00:57:08,008 A Smurf wouldn't be too hard to find. 1247 00:57:08,175 --> 00:57:10,177 Yeah, I should totally go and try and find her. 1248 00:57:10,344 --> 00:57:12,263 Yes, this is what festivals are all about. 1249 00:57:12,430 --> 00:57:14,014 - Great. Come on, Shane. - Yeah, cool. 1250 00:57:14,181 --> 00:57:17,184 Although you're not gonna believe this. We've backstage wristbands. 1251 00:57:17,351 --> 00:57:20,354 So we can see Hammerhead's set up close, maybe even meet him. 1252 00:57:20,521 --> 00:57:22,606 Really? How'd you manage that? 1253 00:57:23,065 --> 00:57:26,026 Hm. It's not important. But I really can't miss Hammerhead. 1254 00:57:26,193 --> 00:57:27,820 So maybe we could find Smurf Girl after. 1255 00:57:28,028 --> 00:57:29,468 Hammerhead's not on for eight hours. 1256 00:57:29,613 --> 00:57:31,073 - Nick, I know, but... - Shane. 1257 00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:33,826 You told me I should come here to get over Caitlin. This is it. 1258 00:57:33,993 --> 00:57:35,369 I have to find this girl. 1259 00:57:35,536 --> 00:57:38,914 I promise we'll see Hammerhead tonight. I promise. 1260 00:57:41,083 --> 00:57:42,835 Yeah, cool, definitely. 1261 00:57:43,002 --> 00:57:45,504 Woo! Looks like we've got ourselves a search party. 1262 00:57:45,671 --> 00:57:48,799 (sighs) This is just like the time my cousin Sandy was kidnapped. 1263 00:57:50,843 --> 00:57:53,512 OK, so the potential love of my life is somewhere down there. 1264 00:57:53,679 --> 00:57:55,306 - What's the plan? - I don't wanna brag, 1265 00:57:55,473 --> 00:57:58,267 but I'm something of an expert when it comes to missing persons. 1266 00:57:58,434 --> 00:58:00,269 I'm a bit of a true crime nut. 1267 00:58:00,436 --> 00:58:02,813 Now, Nick, I know this is a tough time for you, 1268 00:58:02,980 --> 00:58:04,773 but I need you to describe her genitals. 1269 00:58:04,940 --> 00:58:06,942 She's not missing. I just don't know where she is. 1270 00:58:07,109 --> 00:58:10,362 - What does she look like? - Blonde, I think. 1271 00:58:10,905 --> 00:58:13,073 - Sort of a face. - Sort of face. 1272 00:58:13,824 --> 00:58:16,660 - OK. What's her name? - I don't know. 1273 00:58:17,036 --> 00:58:18,138 You don't even know her name? 1274 00:58:18,162 --> 00:58:21,749 In cases like this, it's almost always a jilted lover or a work colleague. 1275 00:58:21,916 --> 00:58:23,542 Did she mention any enemies? 1276 00:58:23,709 --> 00:58:25,711 This isn't a murder investigation. She's not dead. 1277 00:58:25,878 --> 00:58:27,922 Not yet. But these first 48 hours are crucial. 1278 00:58:28,088 --> 00:58:30,925 Your piercing. Whoever gave you that must know about Smurf Girl. 1279 00:58:31,342 --> 00:58:33,844 - Yes, good thinking. - Our first clue. 1280 00:58:34,011 --> 00:58:35,429 I just hope we're not too late. 1281 00:58:35,596 --> 00:58:37,056 Seriously, you've gotta stop that. 1282 00:58:37,223 --> 00:58:40,518 ♪ CHARLI XCX feat. LIL YACHTY: After The Afterparty 1283 00:58:45,022 --> 00:58:46,398 No. 1284 00:58:49,902 --> 00:58:51,237 - No. - Sure? 1285 00:58:51,403 --> 00:58:52,446 Yeah. 1286 00:58:53,155 --> 00:58:54,532 Yeah, this one. 1287 00:58:56,617 --> 00:58:59,286 - The scene of the crime. - We should split up and look for clues. 1288 00:58:59,453 --> 00:59:02,331 Split up? The place is six foot wide. How are we meant to split up? 1289 00:59:02,498 --> 00:59:07,461 Oi. I said if I caught you nicking again, I'd pierce your little arseholes closed. 1290 00:59:07,628 --> 00:59:09,588 (laughs) Fuck me. Here he is. 1291 00:59:09,755 --> 00:59:12,007 Do you remember me? Was I here last night with a girl? 1292 00:59:12,174 --> 00:59:13,926 - With that blue nutter. - That's her. 1293 00:59:14,093 --> 00:59:17,304 Did she say anything about where she was going, where she's camping, her name? 1294 00:59:17,471 --> 00:59:20,307 Nah, nah. She was properly spangled. 1295 00:59:20,474 --> 00:59:22,101 And so were you. Do you remember? 1296 00:59:22,268 --> 00:59:25,104 Kept saying your knob's a sausage, you were gonna cook it and eat it. 1297 00:59:25,271 --> 00:59:26,981 Oh, it was mega lols, innit? 1298 00:59:27,147 --> 00:59:29,942 Maybe you shouldn't give piercings to people who are off their face. 1299 00:59:32,945 --> 00:59:34,238 What? 1300 00:59:36,156 --> 00:59:39,118 You questioning my professionalism? Is that what you're doing? 1301 00:59:39,285 --> 00:59:40,828 You cheeky little prick. 1302 00:59:40,995 --> 00:59:45,541 In all my years - three years I've been tattooing - no one's ever said that to me. 1303 00:59:45,874 --> 00:59:49,545 I would never pierce anyone who was not in the right frame of mind, all right? 1304 00:59:49,712 --> 00:59:52,256 You already had that shit piercing when you came in here. 1305 00:59:52,423 --> 00:59:53,716 Oh. Sorry. 1306 00:59:54,550 --> 00:59:58,470 If Nick already had the piercing, then why would he come here? 1307 00:59:58,637 --> 01:00:01,890 - Because I did his tattoo. - Oh, right. 1308 01:00:05,352 --> 01:00:06,812 What does it say? 1309 01:00:06,979 --> 01:00:09,189 It says, "My name's not Lick." 1310 01:00:09,356 --> 01:00:10,357 Oh. 1311 01:00:10,524 --> 01:00:12,818 Yeah, you were very insistent about that. 1312 01:00:13,235 --> 01:00:14,528 I like it! 1313 01:00:16,113 --> 01:00:18,490 Great, so I've got a tattoo, a nipple piercing 1314 01:00:18,657 --> 01:00:20,534 and I'm no closer to finding Smurf Girl. 1315 01:00:20,951 --> 01:00:22,036 Oi, hang on, hang on. 1316 01:00:22,911 --> 01:00:24,997 You did leave this behind. 1317 01:00:39,345 --> 01:00:41,430 Oh, shit. 1318 01:00:47,811 --> 01:00:49,772 You've got a lot of nerve. 1319 01:00:49,938 --> 01:00:51,523 You back to finish off the job? 1320 01:00:51,690 --> 01:00:54,693 - Did I do all this? - You and that bright blue mentalist. 1321 01:00:54,860 --> 01:00:57,279 The two of you came running through here at 5am, 1322 01:00:57,446 --> 01:00:58,906 you said you were a Viking army 1323 01:00:59,073 --> 01:01:01,575 and that you were going to pillage the living shit out of us. 1324 01:01:02,034 --> 01:01:03,285 I am so sorry. 1325 01:01:03,452 --> 01:01:05,788 I was off my head on some very powerful drugs. 1326 01:01:05,954 --> 01:01:08,957 - Yeah, that was pretty obvious. - And Gordy's missing. 1327 01:01:09,124 --> 01:01:12,294 Did you fucking steal Gordy? Cos I swear to God, if you stole Gordy... 1328 01:01:12,461 --> 01:01:14,046 I didn't steal Gordy. 1329 01:01:14,213 --> 01:01:15,464 At least, I don't think I did. 1330 01:01:15,631 --> 01:01:17,549 Hey, look who it is. Genghis Cunt. 1331 01:01:17,716 --> 01:01:19,218 Pirate, I am so, so sorry about this. 1332 01:01:19,385 --> 01:01:22,179 Yeah, well, you should be. That was some really messed-up shit. 1333 01:01:22,346 --> 01:01:26,600 I know that an apology probably isn't enough, but I... I brought back your leg. 1334 01:01:27,601 --> 01:01:29,353 That's not my leg. 1335 01:01:30,604 --> 01:01:32,981 - What? - That is not my leg. 1336 01:01:36,235 --> 01:01:39,071 Oh, Jesus. How many one-legged people are at this festival? 1337 01:01:39,446 --> 01:01:40,823 Look, what do you want, Nick? 1338 01:01:40,989 --> 01:01:42,783 I'm trying to find that girl I was with. 1339 01:01:42,950 --> 01:01:46,245 I woke up this morning and she was gone. I don't remember her name or anything 1340 01:01:46,412 --> 01:01:48,747 and I just wondered whether maybe one of you guys... 1341 01:01:48,914 --> 01:01:51,333 God, this is so typical of you, Nick. 1342 01:01:51,500 --> 01:01:53,293 You've trashed our campsite 1343 01:01:53,460 --> 01:01:55,796 because you were tweaking on crystal meth or whatever, 1344 01:01:55,963 --> 01:01:58,590 but instead of apologising or offering to make it right, 1345 01:01:58,757 --> 01:02:00,300 you're just thinking about yourself. 1346 01:02:01,552 --> 01:02:03,762 - I just really need to find her. - Fuck off, Nick. 1347 01:02:04,221 --> 01:02:06,598 - Yeah, go away. - You heard 'em, Lick. 1348 01:02:09,476 --> 01:02:11,562 And you better find Gordy. 1349 01:02:12,646 --> 01:02:13,897 I'm hungry. Are you hungry? 1350 01:02:14,064 --> 01:02:15,441 I'm not, because of this. 1351 01:02:16,358 --> 01:02:18,736 - What's that? - That, my friend, is a Chaffney bar. 1352 01:02:18,902 --> 01:02:20,237 A whole meal's worth of Chaffney 1353 01:02:20,404 --> 01:02:22,698 compressed into a snack for the gentleman on the go. 1354 01:02:22,865 --> 01:02:24,032 - That's amazing. - Yeah. 1355 01:02:24,199 --> 01:02:25,909 Been trying to get them into supermarkets. 1356 01:02:26,076 --> 01:02:29,997 So far I've had rejection letters from Tesco, Sainsbury's, Asda, Morrisons, 1357 01:02:30,164 --> 01:02:33,000 Iceland, the Co-op, Budgens, Lidl and Poundstretcher. 1358 01:02:33,167 --> 01:02:35,377 But I've got a good feeling about Waitrose. 1359 01:02:35,544 --> 01:02:37,296 Dude, how'd it go? 1360 01:02:37,463 --> 01:02:39,256 Yeah, it was really great, actually. 1361 01:02:39,423 --> 01:02:41,800 - Really? - Obviously not. Worst thing ever. 1362 01:02:41,967 --> 01:02:43,594 Worse than your breakdown at graduation? 1363 01:02:43,761 --> 01:02:46,513 Worse than that time you watched your ex giving a pirate a BJ? 1364 01:02:48,182 --> 01:02:49,767 (sighs) 1365 01:02:49,933 --> 01:02:51,351 I'm such an idiot. 1366 01:02:51,518 --> 01:02:52,838 Why did I think I could be happy? 1367 01:02:52,936 --> 01:02:55,439 I should have accepted some people aren't meant to be happy 1368 01:02:55,606 --> 01:02:57,691 and I'm one of them. 1369 01:02:59,359 --> 01:03:01,236 - (exhales) - (sighs) 1370 01:03:01,403 --> 01:03:02,654 Bummer. 1371 01:03:04,948 --> 01:03:06,308 If only you'd fallen for a Minion. 1372 01:03:06,450 --> 01:03:09,453 - I see those blue guys all the time. - What? 1373 01:03:09,620 --> 01:03:11,580 There's a group of girls dressed as Minions, 1374 01:03:11,747 --> 01:03:14,666 all painted blue, white hats... think it's, like, a hen do. 1375 01:03:14,833 --> 01:03:17,711 They're always hanging out at that cocktail bar down there. 1376 01:03:17,878 --> 01:03:20,172 Nick. Nick! 1377 01:03:20,339 --> 01:03:22,633 ♪ So go ahead and prove me right 1378 01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:24,426 ♪ Cos that's what girls like 1379 01:03:24,843 --> 01:03:26,011 ♪ I know what boys like 1380 01:03:26,178 --> 01:03:27,930 ♪ I know what they want 1381 01:03:28,096 --> 01:03:30,182 ♪ They want that good thing - Hi, guys. All right? 1382 01:03:30,349 --> 01:03:31,869 ♪ They wanna get some - How's it going? 1383 01:03:32,017 --> 01:03:33,936 Hi, excuse me. 1384 01:03:34,102 --> 01:03:35,938 Oh, you're not gonna like this. 1385 01:03:36,104 --> 01:03:37,105 - (music stops) - Oi. 1386 01:03:37,272 --> 01:03:38,482 Oi! What you doing? 1387 01:03:38,649 --> 01:03:42,194 That's really bad. I'm so sorry. Just really quickly, I'm looking for a Smurf. 1388 01:03:42,361 --> 01:03:43,695 I think she might be with you. 1389 01:03:43,862 --> 01:03:46,156 - Who's asking? - Sorry, I'm Nick. 1390 01:03:46,323 --> 01:03:47,491 I was with her last night. 1391 01:03:47,658 --> 01:03:50,452 We erm... well, kind of got together, to be honest. 1392 01:03:52,663 --> 01:03:54,248 I just really need to see her again. 1393 01:03:54,414 --> 01:03:56,542 - Do you have any idea where she might be? - (laughs) 1394 01:03:56,708 --> 01:03:59,253 Why would I give my mate's number to some randomer? 1395 01:03:59,419 --> 01:04:00,587 I promise I'm not a stalker. 1396 01:04:00,754 --> 01:04:03,090 I am trying to track her down and she doesn't know about it 1397 01:04:03,257 --> 01:04:05,300 but once I've found her, the stalking'll stop. 1398 01:04:05,467 --> 01:04:08,345 - Piss off. Give us back our speaker. - Can I just have her number? 1399 01:04:08,512 --> 01:04:10,097 - Give it back. - Can I have her number? 1400 01:04:10,264 --> 01:04:12,641 Hang on, I've got an idea. 1401 01:04:13,350 --> 01:04:15,477 - I'll give you her number... - Thank you. 1402 01:04:15,644 --> 01:04:17,437 - ..if you show us your dicks. - What? 1403 01:04:17,771 --> 01:04:19,231 - And arses. - (laughs) 1404 01:04:19,398 --> 01:04:22,776 This is a hen party and what the bride wants, the bride gets. 1405 01:04:22,943 --> 01:04:26,780 If you want her number, then you two need to do us a little striptease. 1406 01:04:26,947 --> 01:04:28,240 Woo! Striptease. 1407 01:04:28,407 --> 01:04:30,075 - Me? - Yeah, you too, hot stuff. 1408 01:04:30,242 --> 01:04:33,453 Do you really want to see me naked? I mean, even I don't wanna see me naked. 1409 01:04:33,620 --> 01:04:36,540 Listen, if you two don't get your cocks out pronto, then it's no deal. 1410 01:04:36,707 --> 01:04:38,375 Can we have a minute? 1411 01:04:41,086 --> 01:04:43,398 OK, so how do you wanna do this? Do one at a time or together? 1412 01:04:43,422 --> 01:04:45,007 (laughs) Wait. I'm not doing this. 1413 01:04:45,173 --> 01:04:47,342 Mate, come on. I'm one step away from Smurf Girl. 1414 01:04:47,509 --> 01:04:50,637 We just have to do a quick striptease and then I get her number. Job done. 1415 01:04:50,804 --> 01:04:53,265 I am not getting my dick out in front of a load of strangers. 1416 01:04:53,432 --> 01:04:54,832 You once told me that a true friend 1417 01:04:54,975 --> 01:04:57,019 is somebody who'd help you dispose of a body. 1418 01:04:57,185 --> 01:04:58,645 I'm not even asking you to do that. 1419 01:04:58,812 --> 01:05:03,275 I am just asking you to ex-pose a body, your body, while I also expose mine. 1420 01:05:03,442 --> 01:05:05,402 SMURF: We wanna see cocks! 1421 01:05:07,738 --> 01:05:09,072 (chanting): Off! Off! Off! 1422 01:05:09,239 --> 01:05:11,992 Off! Off! Off! Off! Off! Off! 1423 01:05:12,159 --> 01:05:13,535 (cheering) 1424 01:05:13,702 --> 01:05:16,580 ♪ Yes, I can see her 1425 01:05:16,747 --> 01:05:19,082 ♪ Cos every girl in here wanna be her 1426 01:05:21,251 --> 01:05:22,878 ♪ Oh, she's a diva 1427 01:05:24,254 --> 01:05:26,340 ♪ I feel the same and I wanna meet her 1428 01:05:28,634 --> 01:05:31,094 ♪ They say she low down - (laughter) 1429 01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:33,096 ♪ It's just a rumour and I don't believe 'em 1430 01:05:33,263 --> 01:05:35,349 Get them off! 1431 01:05:35,641 --> 01:05:38,936 ♪ They say she needs to slow down 1432 01:05:39,394 --> 01:05:42,856 ♪ The baddest thing around town 1433 01:05:43,023 --> 01:05:46,485 ♪ She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before 1434 01:05:46,652 --> 01:05:50,238 ♪ Nothing you can compare to your neighbourhood whore 1435 01:05:50,405 --> 01:05:53,033 ♪ I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl 1436 01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:57,663 - Get 'em off. ♪ Without being disrespectful 1437 01:05:57,829 --> 01:05:59,414 ♪ The way that booty movin' 1438 01:05:59,581 --> 01:06:01,333 ♪ I can't take no more 1439 01:06:01,500 --> 01:06:02,626 (shrieks) 1440 01:06:02,793 --> 01:06:05,170 - Where'd you learn to do that? - Saw Magic Mike on a plane. 1441 01:06:05,337 --> 01:06:08,006 ♪ I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl 1442 01:06:08,173 --> 01:06:11,843 ♪ Without being disrespectful 1443 01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:13,470 ♪ Damn, girl 1444 01:06:13,637 --> 01:06:16,139 ♪ Damn, youse a sexy bitch - (cheering) 1445 01:06:16,306 --> 01:06:17,683 ♪ A sexy bitch 1446 01:06:17,849 --> 01:06:19,810 ♪ Damn, youse a sexy bitch 1447 01:06:20,018 --> 01:06:21,228 ♪ Damn, girl 1448 01:06:21,395 --> 01:06:23,480 ♪ Damn, youse a sexy bitch 1449 01:06:23,647 --> 01:06:24,940 ♪ A sexy bitch 1450 01:06:25,107 --> 01:06:27,192 ♪ Damn, youse a sexy bitch 1451 01:06:27,651 --> 01:06:29,444 ♪ Damn, girl 1452 01:06:42,749 --> 01:06:44,668 ♪ Yes, I can see her 1453 01:06:44,835 --> 01:06:45,836 (squeals) 1454 01:06:46,003 --> 01:06:47,963 ♪ Cos every girl in here wanna be her 1455 01:06:48,130 --> 01:06:49,965 When I see helmets, you'll get her number. 1456 01:06:50,132 --> 01:06:52,801 ♪ Oh, she's a diva - (chanting): Off! Off! Off! 1457 01:06:53,218 --> 01:06:55,154 - Oh, shit! ♪ I feel the same and I wanna meet her 1458 01:06:55,178 --> 01:06:57,097 (Smurfs chanting): Off! Off! Off! 1459 01:06:57,514 --> 01:06:59,599 ♪ They say she low down 1460 01:06:59,766 --> 01:07:00,809 (screaming) 1461 01:07:02,019 --> 01:07:04,563 ♪ Well, come on, little mama 1462 01:07:04,730 --> 01:07:07,232 - Let me put on my pants. ♪ Let's tear this damn place up 1463 01:07:07,816 --> 01:07:10,736 ♪ Come on, little mama, let's tear this damn place up 1464 01:07:12,154 --> 01:07:14,194 ♪ Come on, little mama, let me see you do your stuff 1465 01:07:14,322 --> 01:07:16,033 What's her number? What's her name? 1466 01:07:16,867 --> 01:07:18,660 ♪ Tear it up, up-up-up-up 1467 01:07:18,952 --> 01:07:20,787 ♪ Tear it up, up-up-up-up 1468 01:07:20,954 --> 01:07:22,748 SMURF: Give me back me phone, you prick! 1469 01:07:22,914 --> 01:07:25,417 ♪ Tear it up 1470 01:07:25,584 --> 01:07:28,211 ♪ Come on, little mama, tear this damn place up 1471 01:07:28,378 --> 01:07:31,757 ♪ Yeah, move back, baby, turn my way 1472 01:07:32,174 --> 01:07:33,693 ♪ Turn around again and let me hear ya say 1473 01:07:33,717 --> 01:07:35,385 ♪ Tear it up! 1474 01:07:35,844 --> 01:07:37,721 ♪ Tear it up! 1475 01:07:37,888 --> 01:07:41,516 ♪ Come on, little mama, and tear this damn place up 1476 01:07:42,350 --> 01:07:44,686 ♪ Tear it up, up-up-up-up 1477 01:07:44,853 --> 01:07:46,938 ♪ Tear it up, up-up-up-up-up 1478 01:07:48,899 --> 01:07:50,984 ♪ Tear it up 1479 01:07:51,401 --> 01:07:54,071 ♪ Come on, little mama, tear this damn place up 1480 01:07:54,946 --> 01:07:56,948 ♪ Tear it up, up-up-up-up 1481 01:07:57,407 --> 01:07:59,242 ♪ Tear it up, up-up-up-up 1482 01:07:59,409 --> 01:08:01,161 ♪ Tear it up 1483 01:08:01,661 --> 01:08:03,747 ♪ Tear it up - Oh, shit. 1484 01:08:04,247 --> 01:08:06,917 ♪ Come on, little mama, tear this damn place up 1485 01:08:07,084 --> 01:08:08,502 (a child screams) 1486 01:08:08,668 --> 01:08:10,128 Sorry, don't look at my penis. 1487 01:08:11,588 --> 01:08:13,548 Pull that again and I'll fucking Taser you. 1488 01:08:13,715 --> 01:08:16,968 Stop! They haven't done anything wrong. He's trying to find his girlfriend. 1489 01:08:17,177 --> 01:08:19,888 Well, not his girlfriend. Just some blue rando he fucked in a car. 1490 01:08:20,097 --> 01:08:21,890 You can't do this. We're the train gang. 1491 01:08:22,099 --> 01:08:25,268 - You can't break up the train gang. - Amy, please, stop. 1492 01:08:25,435 --> 01:08:27,437 We're not a gang. We're not even your friends. 1493 01:08:27,604 --> 01:08:30,607 - Hey, she's just trying to help. - Well, she's not helping, OK? 1494 01:08:49,626 --> 01:08:50,986 Know how long we're gonna be here? 1495 01:08:51,211 --> 01:08:52,838 Just sit tight. 1496 01:08:55,632 --> 01:08:57,425 I can't believe that guy called the police. 1497 01:08:57,592 --> 01:08:59,845 People who go to festivals are meant to be chilled out. 1498 01:09:00,011 --> 01:09:02,639 It was just a couple of scratches. I was gonna leave a note. 1499 01:09:02,806 --> 01:09:04,891 Plus we were so close to finding Smurf Girl. 1500 01:09:05,100 --> 01:09:07,769 Do you think I could find her on Facebook? 1501 01:09:07,936 --> 01:09:09,896 If her profile pic is her as a Smurf... 1502 01:09:10,105 --> 01:09:11,898 - Shut up, Nick. - What? 1503 01:09:12,065 --> 01:09:14,776 Just shut up. I don't wanna hear any more about Smurf Girl. 1504 01:09:14,985 --> 01:09:16,111 What? 1505 01:09:16,319 --> 01:09:18,321 You realise we're gonna miss Hammerhead's set now? 1506 01:09:18,530 --> 01:09:19,906 That's why you're upset? 1507 01:09:20,073 --> 01:09:22,409 Cos you don't get to see some twat in a mask press play? 1508 01:09:22,617 --> 01:09:25,412 Seeing Hammerhead was the one thing I wanted to do this weekend. 1509 01:09:25,579 --> 01:09:27,330 You promised me we'd see him. 1510 01:09:27,497 --> 01:09:30,041 Right now I could be hanging out with him, discussing beats. 1511 01:09:30,208 --> 01:09:32,335 Instead I'm stuck in here and it's all your fault. 1512 01:09:32,544 --> 01:09:35,046 - My fault? - You're the reason we're in here. 1513 01:09:35,255 --> 01:09:39,259 You're the one who made us spend all day chasing after some fantasy girl. 1514 01:09:39,426 --> 01:09:42,721 - You're the one who made me get naked. - I'm the one who should be complaining. 1515 01:09:42,888 --> 01:09:46,683 I've had my nipple pierced, I've got a fucking mental tattoo all over my arse 1516 01:09:46,892 --> 01:09:50,520 and now I have to sit here listening to you bang on about some bullshit DJ 1517 01:09:50,729 --> 01:09:52,369 no normal human being gives a toss about. 1518 01:09:52,480 --> 01:09:55,358 The other guys were right. You're so... Nickish. 1519 01:09:55,525 --> 01:09:56,985 Nickish? What does that mean? 1520 01:09:57,194 --> 01:09:59,905 I defended you when everyone said you're a bell-end. 1521 01:10:00,113 --> 01:10:01,531 But they're right. 1522 01:10:01,698 --> 01:10:03,909 You're annoying, and selfish. 1523 01:10:04,117 --> 01:10:05,785 And you don't care about anyone else 1524 01:10:05,952 --> 01:10:08,371 because you're too wrapped up in your own pointless shit. 1525 01:10:08,538 --> 01:10:09,978 You think everything I do is stupid. 1526 01:10:10,165 --> 01:10:12,959 And you were mean to Amy, who, by the way, is awesome 1527 01:10:13,126 --> 01:10:14,794 and a much nicer person than you. 1528 01:10:15,003 --> 01:10:16,922 Such a Nick. 1529 01:10:17,088 --> 01:10:20,508 I'm not gonna sit here and be insulted with my own name. 1530 01:10:20,675 --> 01:10:22,469 Sit down! 1531 01:10:25,555 --> 01:10:27,224 Can I make a phone call, please? 1532 01:10:27,432 --> 01:10:29,309 (sniffs) 1533 01:10:29,517 --> 01:10:33,855 ♪ You show the lights that stop me turn to stone 1534 01:10:34,022 --> 01:10:37,275 ♪ You shine it when I'm alone 1535 01:10:37,442 --> 01:10:40,278 ♪ And so I tell myself that... 1536 01:10:42,989 --> 01:10:44,366 Hello, hello. 1537 01:10:45,617 --> 01:10:47,535 I'm busting you out. Come on, let's go. Come on. 1538 01:10:47,702 --> 01:10:50,372 I'm joking. I've been through all of the appropriate channels 1539 01:10:50,538 --> 01:10:52,290 and they've let you off with a caution. 1540 01:10:53,667 --> 01:10:55,418 (whispers): Did they mistreat you, Shane? 1541 01:10:56,753 --> 01:10:59,214 (whispers): OK. Let's get you boys home. 1542 01:11:04,386 --> 01:11:05,720 (mouths) 1543 01:11:16,106 --> 01:11:18,191 (tapping continues) 1544 01:11:35,208 --> 01:11:38,878 Now, who's gonna join me to get some snackeroonies for the road? 1545 01:11:40,672 --> 01:11:42,465 You're not coming? 1546 01:11:42,632 --> 01:11:43,717 Come on. 1547 01:11:43,883 --> 01:11:45,969 - I'll buy you a hot choccy. - No. 1548 01:11:46,928 --> 01:11:49,389 I've never heard you turn down a hot choccy. 1549 01:11:56,354 --> 01:11:59,566 Is everything all right with Shane? He doesn't seem his usual chirpy self. 1550 01:11:59,774 --> 01:12:02,694 He's a bit annoyed cos he's missing a set by this DJ he loves. 1551 01:12:02,986 --> 01:12:03,987 Hammerhead? 1552 01:12:04,154 --> 01:12:06,394 - Do you know him? - No, but Shane talks about him a lot. 1553 01:12:06,531 --> 01:12:09,367 Not to me, obviously. To others. 1554 01:12:09,576 --> 01:12:11,453 Yeah, well, I guess I kind of messed up. 1555 01:12:11,619 --> 01:12:14,247 We got kicked out and now he doesn't get to meet his hero 1556 01:12:14,456 --> 01:12:16,082 and it's basically all my fault. 1557 01:12:16,333 --> 01:12:17,625 He's right, I am a dick. 1558 01:12:17,834 --> 01:12:19,044 So you're a dick. 1559 01:12:19,210 --> 01:12:20,545 So what? That's not a big deal. 1560 01:12:20,754 --> 01:12:23,214 - What? - I mean, look at Gandhi. 1561 01:12:23,423 --> 01:12:26,885 He was a real knob to his wife and actually he was quite racist, 1562 01:12:27,052 --> 01:12:30,680 but still a cool person and my personal hero. 1563 01:12:31,723 --> 01:12:35,435 Or Lance Armstrong. Yes, he was a cheat, he was a bully. 1564 01:12:35,602 --> 01:12:39,731 But he's raised a lot of money for charity and he's also got a great podcast. 1565 01:12:40,482 --> 01:12:42,942 So, yeah, you might have made a few dick moves, 1566 01:12:43,109 --> 01:12:46,446 but being a dick doesn't necessarily make you a bad person. 1567 01:12:47,864 --> 01:12:49,949 That's something you have to remember. 1568 01:12:52,077 --> 01:12:54,412 - What time is it? - 7:06. 1569 01:12:54,621 --> 01:12:56,831 Thanks. Thanks, Robin. 1570 01:12:58,541 --> 01:13:00,168 (sighs) 1571 01:13:00,335 --> 01:13:03,254 - What're you doing? - I'm getting you to that Hammerhead gig. 1572 01:13:03,463 --> 01:13:06,257 - What? - You're right. I've been a selfish idiot. 1573 01:13:06,466 --> 01:13:09,344 I've made this whole weekend about me. And I'm sorry. 1574 01:13:09,886 --> 01:13:11,638 We are seeing Hammerhead. 1575 01:13:11,805 --> 01:13:13,139 OK. 1576 01:13:13,348 --> 01:13:16,017 Wait. Wait, wait, wait. What about Robin? 1577 01:13:16,393 --> 01:13:18,353 Do you wanna see Hammerhead or not? 1578 01:13:18,520 --> 01:13:20,605 Ah, Robin'll be fine. Let's go. 1579 01:13:21,106 --> 01:13:22,273 Taken my car, the dick. 1580 01:13:22,482 --> 01:13:24,484 ♪ MILES KANE: Too Little Too Late 1581 01:13:24,943 --> 01:13:27,404 ♪ Give me something for the guillotine 1582 01:13:27,570 --> 01:13:29,823 ♪ Give me something for your heart 1583 01:13:29,989 --> 01:13:32,826 ♪ Give me something for the best days of us 1584 01:13:32,992 --> 01:13:35,954 - (Welsh accent): All right, bud? - Yep, this is the place. 1585 01:13:38,164 --> 01:13:39,916 - Psst. - Amy. 1586 01:13:40,125 --> 01:13:41,418 Hey, Shane. (cold): Hello, Nick. 1587 01:13:41,793 --> 01:13:43,593 Hello, Amy. Thank you for agreeing to help us. 1588 01:13:43,753 --> 01:13:45,130 I agreed to help Shane. 1589 01:13:45,296 --> 01:13:46,840 It's just sad you come as a pair. 1590 01:13:47,048 --> 01:13:49,801 Amy, please, I'm really, really sorry. We're the train gang. 1591 01:13:50,009 --> 01:13:52,220 - Oh, are we? - Yeah. 1592 01:13:52,387 --> 01:13:54,389 In that case, you'll know what noise a train makes. 1593 01:13:54,597 --> 01:13:56,433 - Choo-choo? - Do it properly. 1594 01:13:56,599 --> 01:13:58,143 There are security around. 1595 01:13:58,309 --> 01:14:00,395 So you'd better hurry up and make a train noise. 1596 01:14:00,603 --> 01:14:02,564 - Choo-choo. - Louder. 1597 01:14:02,730 --> 01:14:04,315 - Choo-choo! - Do the arms. 1598 01:14:04,566 --> 01:14:06,568 Choo-choo-choo. Ch-ch-ch... 1599 01:14:06,776 --> 01:14:09,487 - Choo-choo! - Shovel some coal. 1600 01:14:10,280 --> 01:14:11,865 Uh-oh. There's another train coming. 1601 01:14:12,073 --> 01:14:13,491 (mimics train horn) 1602 01:14:13,700 --> 01:14:17,745 (mimics hiss of steam) Choo-choo, choo-choo... 1603 01:14:17,912 --> 01:14:21,332 Amy, we're in a bit of a rush, so can we...? 1604 01:14:21,499 --> 01:14:24,419 For you, not him. We're still not friends. 1605 01:14:25,462 --> 01:14:26,629 OK, so this is what you do. 1606 01:14:26,796 --> 01:14:30,884 You climb... over the fence. 1607 01:14:31,217 --> 01:14:32,343 - Oh, that's it? - Yeah. 1608 01:14:32,510 --> 01:14:34,929 Taff could bunk you over, but he charges for it. 1609 01:14:35,096 --> 01:14:36,848 I'll look out for security. 1610 01:14:45,899 --> 01:14:48,568 - (Nick grunts) - Come on, Nick! 1611 01:14:48,776 --> 01:14:50,904 Nick, what are you waiting for? Jump. 1612 01:14:51,112 --> 01:14:52,155 OK, I've just... 1613 01:14:52,322 --> 01:14:53,948 My nipple ring is caught. 1614 01:14:54,115 --> 01:14:56,159 If you lift me up, I can get it off. 1615 01:14:59,412 --> 01:15:00,788 Agh. 1616 01:15:08,296 --> 01:15:10,298 Right, I've nearly got it. 1617 01:15:11,758 --> 01:15:13,343 Oh, shit, I think someone's coming. 1618 01:15:13,551 --> 01:15:14,802 (screams) 1619 01:15:15,011 --> 01:15:17,096 (cries out in agony) 1620 01:15:17,847 --> 01:15:19,557 Oh, phew. It was nothing. My bad. 1621 01:15:20,058 --> 01:15:22,018 - Let's go. - (gasps) 1622 01:15:22,227 --> 01:15:24,062 (crowd chants): Hammerhead! Hammerhead! 1623 01:15:24,270 --> 01:15:27,023 Hammerhead! Hammerhead! 1624 01:15:27,273 --> 01:15:29,359 (chanting continues) 1625 01:15:33,154 --> 01:15:34,447 - Shit. - Oh, well. 1626 01:15:34,614 --> 01:15:36,814 - I need to see the doctor, please. - Sure you do, mate. 1627 01:15:36,908 --> 01:15:38,284 Oh, can I just show you that? 1628 01:15:38,451 --> 01:15:39,953 Jesus Christ. 1629 01:15:40,286 --> 01:15:42,705 - In you go. - Thank you. 1630 01:15:42,914 --> 01:15:45,291 - The backstage entrance is up here. - I'm in a lot of pain. 1631 01:15:45,542 --> 01:15:47,669 - Do I look shocked? - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1632 01:15:47,835 --> 01:15:49,195 Lick, what the fuck are you doing? 1633 01:15:49,379 --> 01:15:51,673 Mate, can we come in? We had wristbands but lost them. 1634 01:15:51,881 --> 01:15:53,758 - No wristbands, no entry. - Please, Pirate. 1635 01:15:53,925 --> 01:15:57,428 I wish there was something I could do. I mean, there is, but I'm not gonna do it. 1636 01:15:57,637 --> 01:15:59,597 Brother David! 1637 01:15:59,764 --> 01:16:02,183 Oh, Shane! 1638 01:16:02,392 --> 01:16:04,018 Amy. 1639 01:16:05,645 --> 01:16:07,397 - Hi. - Hi. 1640 01:16:07,605 --> 01:16:09,732 - How do you know Hammerhead's manager? - Oh... 1641 01:16:09,899 --> 01:16:11,609 W... T-The... 1642 01:16:11,776 --> 01:16:13,319 - The... Ooh... - Oh. 1643 01:16:13,486 --> 01:16:14,612 - We... erm... - Erm... 1644 01:16:14,779 --> 01:16:15,989 Er... 1645 01:16:16,197 --> 01:16:18,074 Well, fuck... erm... 1646 01:16:18,992 --> 01:16:21,077 - We... - What did... 1647 01:16:21,244 --> 01:16:22,328 We... 1648 01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:26,207 - We all like soup. - Yep. 1649 01:16:26,833 --> 01:16:28,042 Exactly. 1650 01:16:28,835 --> 01:16:31,462 - You guys coming in? - We're trying. But this guy won't let us. 1651 01:16:31,671 --> 01:16:33,631 What? Don't be silly. Come in. 1652 01:16:33,798 --> 01:16:35,842 These guys are with Hammerhead. 1653 01:16:37,677 --> 01:16:39,012 (chuckles) 1654 01:16:39,220 --> 01:16:41,973 We've got a bar there. They serve beer, everything. 1655 01:16:42,140 --> 01:16:44,976 - Thanks, Brother David. - Ooh. 1656 01:16:45,143 --> 01:16:47,103 It's just David around here. 1657 01:16:47,645 --> 01:16:50,440 - Hammerhead hasn't been on yet, has he? - Mmm, not yet, no. 1658 01:16:50,607 --> 01:16:52,191 His trailer's there. Wanna say hello? 1659 01:16:52,400 --> 01:16:54,694 - Nothing in the world I want more. - Yes, please. 1660 01:16:54,861 --> 01:16:58,531 - I should probably go and clean this up. - Oh, my God. What is that? 1661 01:16:59,824 --> 01:17:00,992 Oh, nothing. 1662 01:17:01,159 --> 01:17:03,161 Just a massive hole where my nipple used to be. 1663 01:17:03,369 --> 01:17:04,829 Yeah, we should get you to a doctor. 1664 01:17:04,996 --> 01:17:07,373 No, no, I'll go on my own. You go and meet Hammerhead. 1665 01:17:07,540 --> 01:17:10,543 - Are you sure? - Yes. He's your hero. You've gotta go. 1666 01:17:11,294 --> 01:17:13,087 - Thanks, Nick. - Argh! 1667 01:17:13,421 --> 01:17:14,839 - Please. - Oh, sorry. Sorry. 1668 01:17:15,006 --> 01:17:17,091 OK, let's go. Hammerhead awaits. 1669 01:17:18,259 --> 01:17:20,345 ♪ BALOJI: Soleil De Volt 1670 01:17:33,900 --> 01:17:35,109 (knock at door) 1671 01:17:35,276 --> 01:17:36,861 Just me. 1672 01:17:37,028 --> 01:17:38,738 David, what's going on? 1673 01:17:38,905 --> 01:17:40,948 I was supposed to start my set an hour ago. 1674 01:17:41,324 --> 01:17:43,244 Er... yeah, they're a little bit behind schedule. 1675 01:17:43,409 --> 01:17:45,662 But the good news is that you'll be on soon. 1676 01:17:45,828 --> 01:17:48,164 Anyway, couple of fans wanted to say hello. 1677 01:17:48,331 --> 01:17:51,167 Hi. It's an absolute honour, Mr Hammerhead. 1678 01:17:51,334 --> 01:17:53,211 - Hello. I love you. - Cheers. 1679 01:17:53,378 --> 01:17:56,506 If we're not going on now, could you get me some proper food? I'm starving. 1680 01:17:56,756 --> 01:17:58,383 Yeah, I could sort something out. 1681 01:18:00,593 --> 01:18:02,261 Now? Yeah. 1682 01:18:03,763 --> 01:18:06,224 Hey, if you're feeling peckish, I've got just the thing. 1683 01:18:06,391 --> 01:18:08,935 It's a Chaffney bar. It'll fill you right up. 1684 01:18:09,102 --> 01:18:10,269 Chaffney? 1685 01:18:10,436 --> 01:18:13,523 - What the fuck is Chaffney? - It's delicious. You'll love it. 1686 01:18:13,690 --> 01:18:15,775 Go on, then. 1687 01:18:18,986 --> 01:18:20,613 - Mm. - Not bad, eh? 1688 01:18:20,780 --> 01:18:23,491 - This is actually pretty good. - (sighs) 1689 01:18:23,658 --> 01:18:27,453 If only my Great-Grandmami Agnes knew that one day a superstar DJ 1690 01:18:27,620 --> 01:18:28,996 would tuck into her Chaffney. 1691 01:18:29,163 --> 01:18:31,124 She wouldn't know what a superstar DJ was. 1692 01:18:31,290 --> 01:18:33,751 She lived in a treehouse and had tennis rackets for shoes. 1693 01:18:33,918 --> 01:18:35,628 She was quite seriously mentally ill. 1694 01:18:35,837 --> 01:18:37,130 I've just gotta say... 1695 01:18:37,296 --> 01:18:39,048 I love everything you've ever done. 1696 01:18:39,215 --> 01:18:41,467 Is it true that you once had a drop so powerful 1697 01:18:41,634 --> 01:18:43,845 that it killed someone on the dancefloor? 1698 01:18:44,011 --> 01:18:45,763 That was just a coincidence. 1699 01:18:47,181 --> 01:18:49,809 - Got me trending on Twitter, though. - (laughs) 1700 01:18:50,143 --> 01:18:51,686 - (laughs) - (chuckles) 1701 01:18:51,853 --> 01:18:53,146 Oh, that's amazing. 1702 01:18:53,312 --> 01:18:56,399 You know, I actually write music too. D-Do you wanna hear some? 1703 01:18:56,566 --> 01:18:58,651 I've got some tracks on my phone. 1704 01:19:00,486 --> 01:19:02,572 (pounding repetitive dance beat) 1705 01:19:10,455 --> 01:19:13,166 ♪ Loving, you give me nothing 1706 01:19:13,332 --> 01:19:17,086 ♪ Till I'm black and blue inside 1707 01:19:17,628 --> 01:19:21,549 ♪ You keep me falling, but I'm going all in 1708 01:19:21,716 --> 01:19:24,927 ♪ Cos I still want you tonight... 1709 01:19:25,094 --> 01:19:26,679 Holy shit. 1710 01:19:57,794 --> 01:19:58,836 (screams) 1711 01:20:04,091 --> 01:20:06,177 (children yelling) 1712 01:20:15,770 --> 01:20:17,855 (phone buzzes) 1713 01:20:24,612 --> 01:20:27,198 After everything! I've just wasted all my fucking life! 1714 01:20:27,365 --> 01:20:29,700 - ..if you go through someone's phone. - Fucking Minions. 1715 01:20:29,867 --> 01:20:31,244 How long's it been going on? 1716 01:20:31,410 --> 01:20:33,371 How long has it been fucking going on? 1717 01:20:46,259 --> 01:20:47,885 Order! 1718 01:20:49,554 --> 01:20:50,680 Order! 1719 01:20:53,766 --> 01:20:55,476 Hey. 1720 01:20:55,643 --> 01:20:57,019 Hi. 1721 01:20:57,770 --> 01:20:59,522 I have been looking for you all day. 1722 01:21:00,064 --> 01:21:03,025 - OK. Why? - It's me, Nick. 1723 01:21:03,192 --> 01:21:06,070 You hid in my tent. We had sex in a car. 1724 01:21:07,488 --> 01:21:09,031 Last night. 1725 01:21:09,198 --> 01:21:10,658 Oh, my God! 1726 01:21:10,825 --> 01:21:13,077 Car Dude. (laughs) 1727 01:21:13,244 --> 01:21:15,454 - How have you been, man? - OK, yeah. 1728 01:21:15,621 --> 01:21:17,373 Er... Mostly been looking for you. 1729 01:21:17,540 --> 01:21:19,500 Last night was fun. 1730 01:21:19,667 --> 01:21:21,168 Fucking fun. 1731 01:21:21,335 --> 01:21:23,170 Oh, my God, I can barely remember anything. 1732 01:21:23,337 --> 01:21:26,257 - I was so fucked. - Me too. (laughs) 1733 01:21:28,342 --> 01:21:31,846 So, listen, do you wanna, like, get a drink or...? 1734 01:21:32,513 --> 01:21:33,806 Er... No, thanks. 1735 01:21:34,932 --> 01:21:35,932 What? 1736 01:21:36,058 --> 01:21:38,603 I don't wanna get a drink with you. 1737 01:21:39,645 --> 01:21:41,564 Oh. OK, cool. 1738 01:21:43,316 --> 01:21:44,692 Yeah, that's... 1739 01:21:44,859 --> 01:21:46,235 That's fine. 1740 01:21:46,402 --> 01:21:47,403 OK. 1741 01:21:47,570 --> 01:21:49,405 That's all from me. 1742 01:21:50,114 --> 01:21:51,908 Erm... See... See you. That's it. 1743 01:21:52,617 --> 01:21:53,618 See ya. 1744 01:22:00,082 --> 01:22:02,501 So with this one, I was trying to mess around with, like, 1745 01:22:02,668 --> 01:22:05,004 - a crunchier baseline, you know? - (strong bassline) 1746 01:22:05,171 --> 01:22:07,423 I think maybe five songs is probably enough for now. 1747 01:22:07,590 --> 01:22:09,008 Sure. Sure. 1748 01:22:09,175 --> 01:22:10,760 - I'll play you the rest later. - Yeah. 1749 01:22:10,927 --> 01:22:12,762 Where the fuck is David? I feel a bit weird. 1750 01:22:12,929 --> 01:22:15,014 - You do look a bit clammy. - Yeah. 1751 01:22:15,181 --> 01:22:17,224 I don't feel good. I feel quite unusual. 1752 01:22:17,391 --> 01:22:19,101 I need to get up, actually. 1753 01:22:19,268 --> 01:22:20,853 Oh, my God. 1754 01:22:21,020 --> 01:22:22,688 (exhales) 1755 01:22:22,855 --> 01:22:23,856 Yeah. 1756 01:22:24,023 --> 01:22:25,358 Oh, yeah. 1757 01:22:25,524 --> 01:22:27,485 I feel weird. 1758 01:22:27,652 --> 01:22:29,654 (he hyperventilates) 1759 01:22:32,114 --> 01:22:33,282 Oh, God. 1760 01:22:34,659 --> 01:22:38,079 Can I ask you a question? There's no shellfish in this, is there? 1761 01:22:38,245 --> 01:22:40,039 - Oh, no, no, no, no. - Oh, great. 1762 01:22:40,206 --> 01:22:42,249 There is a lot of crabmeat but no shellfish. 1763 01:22:43,000 --> 01:22:44,752 I'm fucking allergic to shellfish. 1764 01:22:45,336 --> 01:22:46,754 Oh, my God. 1765 01:22:46,921 --> 01:22:50,341 I've gotta get this out of me. I've gotta get this out of me! Oh! 1766 01:22:50,508 --> 01:22:51,592 - OK, Hammerhead? - (gags) 1767 01:22:51,759 --> 01:22:54,220 I'm so sorry. My Chaffney's never hurt anyone before. 1768 01:22:54,387 --> 01:22:56,055 (vomits) 1769 01:22:56,889 --> 01:22:58,474 What's all the noise? What's going on? 1770 01:22:58,641 --> 01:23:01,185 Hammerhead was hungry. I gave him one of my Chaffney bars. 1771 01:23:01,352 --> 01:23:02,895 Now he's having an allergic reaction. 1772 01:23:03,062 --> 01:23:04,942 - Shit. Is he all right? - I'm sure he'll be OK. 1773 01:23:05,064 --> 01:23:06,565 - Is it bad? - Oh, my God! 1774 01:23:06,732 --> 01:23:07,984 - Holy shit! Fuck! 1775 01:23:09,402 --> 01:23:10,820 - Let me see. - No, no, no, no. 1776 01:23:10,987 --> 01:23:13,197 - No, no. Sit down. Sit down. - (knock at door) 1777 01:23:13,364 --> 01:23:14,865 Hammerhead, we're ready for you. 1778 01:23:15,032 --> 01:23:17,576 - Oh, shit. - It's fine. The mask will cover it. 1779 01:23:19,787 --> 01:23:20,871 - (groans) - It won't go on. 1780 01:23:21,038 --> 01:23:22,206 Mr Hammerhead? 1781 01:23:22,373 --> 01:23:24,250 Oh, Jesus, erm... 1782 01:23:24,417 --> 01:23:25,835 (gasps) 1783 01:23:26,002 --> 01:23:27,378 - That's not good. - EpiPen. 1784 01:23:27,545 --> 01:23:28,629 - What? - Get me an EpiPen. 1785 01:23:28,796 --> 01:23:30,047 - Excuse me? - The EpiPen. 1786 01:23:30,214 --> 01:23:32,133 - What's he saying? - Pen? He wants a pen? 1787 01:23:32,299 --> 01:23:33,467 THE PIRATE: Hammerhead? 1788 01:23:33,634 --> 01:23:35,511 There's something in the bag. 1789 01:23:35,678 --> 01:23:37,680 - Allergy pen. - Yes! 1790 01:23:38,139 --> 01:23:39,449 - It's OK. - Get him on the floor! 1791 01:23:39,473 --> 01:23:41,392 - OK, OK. - That's it. 1792 01:23:41,559 --> 01:23:43,227 - Hold him down. - Whoo. 1793 01:23:43,394 --> 01:23:45,980 - I'm gonna pierce the breast plate. - No, no, no, my thigh. 1794 01:23:46,147 --> 01:23:48,232 Put it in my thigh. 1795 01:23:48,607 --> 01:23:50,317 - One... - No... 1796 01:23:50,484 --> 01:23:51,986 - No! - Two... 1797 01:23:52,153 --> 01:23:54,238 (wails) 1798 01:23:54,822 --> 01:23:56,615 Three! 1799 01:23:59,535 --> 01:24:01,120 - Did it work? - No. 1800 01:24:01,287 --> 01:24:02,788 - (knock at door) - Mr Hammerhead? 1801 01:24:02,955 --> 01:24:04,195 - What we gonna do? - You go on. 1802 01:24:04,248 --> 01:24:05,332 - What? - Put on the mask 1803 01:24:05,499 --> 01:24:06,709 and pretend to be Hammerhead. 1804 01:24:06,876 --> 01:24:09,253 - I can't do that. - Yes, you can. You know all his tunes. 1805 01:24:09,420 --> 01:24:10,921 - You OK? - We have to do something. 1806 01:24:11,088 --> 01:24:12,798 Look. Hammerhead wants you to do it. 1807 01:24:12,965 --> 01:24:14,925 - (mumbles): No. - I think he does. 1808 01:24:15,092 --> 01:24:16,135 - (moans) - He's a pro. 1809 01:24:16,302 --> 01:24:18,679 He doesn't wanna let the crowd down. He knows you can do it. 1810 01:24:18,846 --> 01:24:21,849 I need to be sure. Hammerhead, shall I go out there? 1811 01:24:22,016 --> 01:24:23,184 Shall I pretend to be you? 1812 01:24:23,559 --> 01:24:24,852 (mumbles): No fucking way. 1813 01:24:26,187 --> 01:24:27,563 Let's do this. 1814 01:24:30,024 --> 01:24:32,109 (whimpering from inside) 1815 01:24:33,903 --> 01:24:36,405 Hey, Hammerhead! It's an honour to finally meet you. 1816 01:24:36,864 --> 01:24:38,657 You all set? 1817 01:24:39,366 --> 01:24:40,743 Oh, yeah, good to go. 1818 01:24:41,202 --> 01:24:42,578 Wait, Lick. You're coming? 1819 01:24:43,037 --> 01:24:44,556 Yeah, he said I could watch from the wings. 1820 01:24:44,580 --> 01:24:46,916 OK, whatever. Right this way, sir. 1821 01:24:49,835 --> 01:24:51,420 I can do this, right? 1822 01:24:51,754 --> 01:24:52,797 I can do this, yeah. 1823 01:24:52,963 --> 01:24:56,008 OK. Just gotta be Hammerhead. Just gotta be Hammerhead. It's easy. 1824 01:24:56,467 --> 01:25:00,387 (crowd chants): Hammerhead! Hammerhead! Hammerhead! 1825 01:25:00,846 --> 01:25:01,889 Hammerhead! 1826 01:25:03,265 --> 01:25:05,184 Hammerhead, man, you know. 1827 01:25:05,351 --> 01:25:07,061 Wahgwan, my G. 1828 01:25:08,354 --> 01:25:10,523 Give me some love. What's going on with you guys? 1829 01:25:10,689 --> 01:25:13,567 Something's wrong. You're moving like an imposter fish right now. 1830 01:25:15,194 --> 01:25:16,320 You OK, Mr Hammerhead? 1831 01:25:16,779 --> 01:25:19,490 - (whispers): Nick, Nick. - He's lost his voice. 1832 01:25:19,949 --> 01:25:22,069 - You know the thing. - Also, he's got a tender wrist. 1833 01:25:22,326 --> 01:25:24,120 Too much of this. 1834 01:25:27,915 --> 01:25:29,834 Scratching. I didn't mean wanking. 1835 01:25:30,292 --> 01:25:32,795 You're moving kinky, blud. I'm done. I'm gone. 1836 01:25:32,962 --> 01:25:34,797 All right, the riser's down there. 1837 01:25:34,964 --> 01:25:37,383 - Have a good show. - OK. Thanks for the directions. 1838 01:25:37,550 --> 01:25:39,468 - Shit, shit. - Shane, you've done it. 1839 01:25:39,927 --> 01:25:43,055 I don't know. I've met Hammerhead. That's all I wanted. This is scary. 1840 01:25:43,222 --> 01:25:46,433 Fear is just your body telling you not to do something dangerous. 1841 01:25:46,600 --> 01:25:47,685 That doesn't make sense. 1842 01:25:47,852 --> 01:25:50,271 You can do this. I believe in you. 1843 01:25:50,479 --> 01:25:52,815 Positive mental attitude. Positive mental attitude. 1844 01:25:53,023 --> 01:25:54,650 - (crowd chanting) - (sighs) 1845 01:25:54,817 --> 01:25:56,652 Right, let's go. 1846 01:25:57,111 --> 01:26:00,030 (crowd chants): Hammerhead! Hammerhead! Hammerhead! 1847 01:26:00,489 --> 01:26:01,949 (muttering) 1848 01:26:06,495 --> 01:26:07,788 - Gordy. - Nick. 1849 01:26:07,955 --> 01:26:09,290 - All right, mate? - Yeah. 1850 01:26:09,748 --> 01:26:11,708 - What are you doing in there? - In here? No idea. 1851 01:26:11,834 --> 01:26:14,253 But I will tell you this. No more ketamine for me. 1852 01:26:14,420 --> 01:26:15,671 - Right. - No more. 1853 01:26:16,130 --> 01:26:18,340 - Bad Gordy. Too much ketamine. - OK. 1854 01:26:18,799 --> 01:26:20,819 - Do you wanna come and watch Hammerhead? - Erm... no. 1855 01:26:20,843 --> 01:26:22,386 I'm gonna get a bit more kip in here. 1856 01:26:22,845 --> 01:26:25,014 Don't tell anyone, but Hammerhead is actually Shane. 1857 01:26:25,472 --> 01:26:26,640 Cool. 1858 01:26:26,807 --> 01:26:28,726 - Have you got any ketamine? - No. 1859 01:26:28,893 --> 01:26:30,895 - See you later, Gordy. - (Gordy mutters) 1860 01:26:31,353 --> 01:26:32,980 (crowd chants): Hammerhead! 1861 01:26:35,524 --> 01:26:37,610 (crowd falls quiet) 1862 01:26:37,776 --> 01:26:39,862 (dramatic beat) 1863 01:26:41,113 --> 01:26:42,531 (cheering) 1864 01:26:51,874 --> 01:26:53,667 Hi, guys. Can you believe we're backstage? 1865 01:26:53,959 --> 01:26:57,630 Nick, you are toxic and triggering, and if you take one step closer to Lucy, 1866 01:26:57,796 --> 01:26:59,757 I swear to God, I will strike you with a punch. 1867 01:26:59,924 --> 01:27:01,550 Jesus, Rex, stop. 1868 01:27:02,009 --> 01:27:03,409 I'm not going to have sex with you. 1869 01:27:03,844 --> 01:27:06,013 - What? - And wash your foreskin, Rex. It stinks. 1870 01:27:06,180 --> 01:27:07,640 Caitlin, can I have a quick word? 1871 01:27:08,098 --> 01:27:09,767 - What? - I just wanted to say sorry. 1872 01:27:10,226 --> 01:27:12,228 For graduation and for this weekend. 1873 01:27:12,394 --> 01:27:14,355 - And for everything, really. - Oh. 1874 01:27:14,521 --> 01:27:16,523 We split up and I'm OK with that. 1875 01:27:16,982 --> 01:27:18,776 Yeah. I mean, we can still be friends. 1876 01:27:19,235 --> 01:27:20,945 Oh, God, let's not be friends! 1877 01:27:21,111 --> 01:27:24,281 - Ugh, friends? - You're right. What's gonna happen? 1878 01:27:24,740 --> 01:27:28,118 We hang out and play FIFA and I start crying because I miss you. 1879 01:27:28,577 --> 01:27:30,657 - Being friends with an ex is the worst. - The worst. 1880 01:27:30,955 --> 01:27:34,541 Let's not do that. Let's have a nasty, difficult, immature break-up. 1881 01:27:35,000 --> 01:27:38,545 Yes. You are selfish and anal, and we are not friends. 1882 01:27:39,004 --> 01:27:40,005 Not friends. 1883 01:27:41,257 --> 01:27:42,800 - (dance music) - (cheering) 1884 01:27:43,259 --> 01:27:44,802 I can do this. I can do this. 1885 01:27:44,969 --> 01:27:47,346 It's fine. I can do this. (grunts) 1886 01:27:49,473 --> 01:27:51,475 (music stops) 1887 01:27:54,520 --> 01:27:56,522 I can do anything. I can do anything. 1888 01:27:56,981 --> 01:27:58,274 I can do anything. 1889 01:27:58,607 --> 01:28:00,067 (cheering) 1890 01:28:01,777 --> 01:28:03,487 Oh, shit. 1891 01:28:09,576 --> 01:28:10,786 Shit. The music. 1892 01:28:10,953 --> 01:28:12,871 Oh, erm... 1893 01:28:15,791 --> 01:28:17,876 (dance music plays) 1894 01:28:19,211 --> 01:28:20,921 MALE VOICE: Look at his face. 1895 01:28:21,672 --> 01:28:23,590 What do I do? What do I do now? 1896 01:28:23,757 --> 01:28:25,843 I'll just twiddle some buttons. 1897 01:28:26,468 --> 01:28:28,470 (male voice) 1898 01:28:30,848 --> 01:28:32,141 Yeah! (laughs) 1899 01:28:35,352 --> 01:28:37,938 This is the best night of my life! 1900 01:28:38,105 --> 01:28:39,690 (laughs) 1901 01:28:45,154 --> 01:28:48,532 (woman's voice) 1902 01:28:48,991 --> 01:28:50,326 Do you like soup? 1903 01:28:50,492 --> 01:28:52,995 Oh, sorry it took so long. You know those queues are... 1904 01:28:53,162 --> 01:28:54,204 Ugh! What the fuck? 1905 01:28:54,371 --> 01:28:55,581 Ah! Great. You're back. 1906 01:28:55,748 --> 01:28:57,333 Well, I'll just get out of your hair. 1907 01:28:57,791 --> 01:28:59,351 - What the hell happened? - Oh, nothing. 1908 01:28:59,668 --> 01:29:01,503 A little mishap involving some crabmeat. 1909 01:29:01,670 --> 01:29:04,840 - Isn't that right, Mr Hammerhead? - He can't go out there like this! 1910 01:29:05,299 --> 01:29:07,468 Don't worry about that. Shane's gone out there instead. 1911 01:29:07,634 --> 01:29:09,887 What? Are you insane? 1912 01:29:10,346 --> 01:29:12,765 Glasshouses, mate. You fucked a goat. 1913 01:29:15,476 --> 01:29:17,561 (pounding beat) 1914 01:29:29,865 --> 01:29:31,325 I didn't know you knew Hammerhead. 1915 01:29:31,784 --> 01:29:33,452 Er... Yeah. 1916 01:29:35,079 --> 01:29:38,916 (woman's voice) 1917 01:29:39,083 --> 01:29:40,709 He's a bit geeky. 1918 01:29:41,168 --> 01:29:42,711 Er... Yeah. 1919 01:29:48,967 --> 01:29:50,552 We've gotta pull the gig. 1920 01:29:50,803 --> 01:29:51,845 Why? He's killing it. 1921 01:29:52,012 --> 01:29:54,181 Yeah, well, that's not the real Hammerhead. 1922 01:29:54,348 --> 01:29:56,725 - What? - That is not the real Hammerhead. 1923 01:29:56,892 --> 01:29:58,185 That is. 1924 01:29:58,352 --> 01:29:59,770 I think it's going down. 1925 01:29:59,937 --> 01:30:02,773 Holy shit. Don't worry. I'm gonna fix this. 1926 01:30:03,232 --> 01:30:04,691 (crowd cheering) 1927 01:30:07,111 --> 01:30:08,320 - Hey. - Oh, shit. 1928 01:30:08,487 --> 01:30:10,322 Hey, get off the stage, arsehole. Fun's over. 1929 01:30:10,489 --> 01:30:13,283 - I'm Hammerhead. - You're not Hammerhead. Let's go. 1930 01:30:13,742 --> 01:30:15,619 - I'm Hammerhead. - You're not Hammerhead. 1931 01:30:20,332 --> 01:30:21,935 - You're not Hammerhead. - I'm Hammerhead! 1932 01:30:21,959 --> 01:30:23,293 Stop! Look, this is my moment! 1933 01:30:23,502 --> 01:30:24,545 (gasps from crowd) 1934 01:30:24,711 --> 01:30:27,381 Holy shit. It's Dougie! 1935 01:30:27,548 --> 01:30:29,466 I've seen his bell-end! 1936 01:30:29,633 --> 01:30:30,968 (music stops) 1937 01:30:31,427 --> 01:30:32,886 (crowd groans) 1938 01:30:33,345 --> 01:30:34,680 Oh, shit. 1939 01:30:34,847 --> 01:30:36,432 - Nick, Nick, help! - Come on, get off. 1940 01:30:36,598 --> 01:30:37,758 - Don't push me. - Oi, Pirate. 1941 01:30:37,891 --> 01:30:39,143 Fuck you, Lick. 1942 01:30:39,309 --> 01:30:42,271 Hammerhead can't DJ, cos he ate a horsemeat and crab bar, 1943 01:30:42,438 --> 01:30:44,481 but Shane can and it's his dream. 1944 01:30:44,940 --> 01:30:47,734 - Please let him DJ. - Yeah, fuck off, you fucking idiot. 1945 01:30:48,193 --> 01:30:51,822 Fine. I wouldn't normally hit anyone, let alone anyone with a disability. 1946 01:30:52,281 --> 01:30:53,574 You fucking pervert. 1947 01:30:54,032 --> 01:30:56,285 - Yeah, you gonna hit me? - Nick, what do I do? 1948 01:30:56,452 --> 01:30:58,537 - (rasps): I'm a bit busy. - I can't hear you. What? 1949 01:30:58,704 --> 01:31:00,544 - (rasps): Just a bit busy. - I can't hear you. 1950 01:31:00,664 --> 01:31:01,874 - Play your stuff. - What? 1951 01:31:02,040 --> 01:31:03,768 - Bit busy. - I think I'm gonna play my stuff. 1952 01:31:03,792 --> 01:31:05,461 I'm sick of your bullshit! 1953 01:31:07,004 --> 01:31:09,423 (Shane's pounding repetitive dance beat) 1954 01:31:13,552 --> 01:31:15,137 ♪ Push 'em up - (cheers) 1955 01:31:15,304 --> 01:31:17,473 ♪ Push 'em up - (cheering) 1956 01:31:19,224 --> 01:31:20,559 ♪ Push 'em up 1957 01:31:20,767 --> 01:31:22,644 ♪ Push 'em up 1958 01:31:23,103 --> 01:31:26,690 - Fuck you, Lick! - My name is... Nick. 1959 01:31:26,857 --> 01:31:28,984 Oi! That's not fair! You're part machine! 1960 01:31:29,443 --> 01:31:32,321 - There's a fucking N in it! - Agh. 1961 01:31:33,655 --> 01:31:36,283 Let go! What are you doing? Let go! Let go! 1962 01:31:37,618 --> 01:31:39,244 - Oh, dear. - (shocked groans) 1963 01:31:39,411 --> 01:31:40,996 What the fuck is wrong with you people? 1964 01:31:41,163 --> 01:31:43,165 Amy, throw me the leg. 1965 01:31:44,208 --> 01:31:46,126 Pirate. Are you gonna let Shane DJ? 1966 01:31:46,293 --> 01:31:48,462 I'm not gonna haggle for my body part, you arsehole. 1967 01:31:48,795 --> 01:31:51,798 - You are making me do this, I'm afraid. - No, no, no, no, no, no. 1968 01:31:51,965 --> 01:31:54,051 No, no, no, no, no, no! 1969 01:31:54,468 --> 01:31:56,637 No! 1970 01:31:56,803 --> 01:31:58,680 It's not a beach ball! 1971 01:31:59,932 --> 01:32:01,451 This time you did steal The Pirate's leg. 1972 01:32:01,475 --> 01:32:03,310 Yeah. I should do something about that. 1973 01:32:03,769 --> 01:32:06,188 No, fuck him. I'm glad we're friends again, Nick. 1974 01:32:08,232 --> 01:32:10,025 (crowd cheering) 1975 01:32:13,362 --> 01:32:15,155 This is gonna make such a good story! 1976 01:32:15,322 --> 01:32:17,616 This is amazing. They like my stuff. 1977 01:32:18,075 --> 01:32:19,493 - Because it's great. - (laughs) 1978 01:32:19,660 --> 01:32:21,036 - So what now? - Who cares? 1979 01:32:21,453 --> 01:32:23,288 Yeah. Who cares? 1980 01:32:24,498 --> 01:32:27,417 - Shane, you're amazing. - I think you're amazing. 1981 01:32:27,584 --> 01:32:29,670 - Can I kiss you? - Can I kiss you? 1982 01:32:30,837 --> 01:32:31,964 (cheering) 1983 01:32:35,175 --> 01:32:36,343 That's my son. 1984 01:32:37,344 --> 01:32:39,263 That's my son! 1985 01:32:41,014 --> 01:32:42,724 (crowd cheering) 1986 01:32:46,436 --> 01:32:48,897 I fucking love festivals! 1987 01:32:53,318 --> 01:32:55,862 Oh, shit. Shane, we've gotta go. 1988 01:32:56,029 --> 01:32:58,865 - Oh, shit. What we gonna do? - We could make a run for it. 1989 01:32:59,032 --> 01:33:01,076 - I'm happy to run. - In that case, we should run. 1990 01:33:01,243 --> 01:33:02,619 Which way? 1991 01:33:02,786 --> 01:33:03,954 That way? 1992 01:33:04,621 --> 01:33:07,833 - We could crowd-surf off. - Reminds me of the time I nearly drowned. 1993 01:33:08,000 --> 01:33:10,627 - Have I ever told you that story? - Tell us later! 1994 01:33:20,387 --> 01:33:22,472 (shocked groans) 1995 01:33:24,057 --> 01:33:26,143 Oh, God. 1996 01:33:38,196 --> 01:33:40,574 Yes, Mum, yes. No, no caution this time. 1997 01:33:40,741 --> 01:33:42,451 Well, cos he hit me first. 1998 01:33:42,618 --> 01:33:45,454 No, he didn't take my leg, but only cos he couldn't. 1999 01:33:45,621 --> 01:33:47,748 Just sounds like you're on his side, that's all. 2000 01:33:47,914 --> 01:33:51,168 ..there's a Stilton tent, which is literally a tent made of Stilton. 2001 01:33:51,335 --> 01:33:52,711 - It stinks. - It sounds amazing. 2002 01:33:52,878 --> 01:33:54,254 OK, guys, here are your tickets. 2003 01:33:54,421 --> 01:33:55,547 Er... I'm down there. 2004 01:33:56,006 --> 01:33:59,509 - We're not together? - No, you two are too... together. 2005 01:33:59,676 --> 01:34:02,429 - Wait, Nick. These are... - I know. They're so much cheaper. 2006 01:34:08,727 --> 01:34:10,729 - Hello. - Hello. 2007 01:34:10,896 --> 01:34:12,856 - Tickets, please. - Oh, f... 2008 01:34:13,023 --> 01:34:16,693 Right, I've gotta go and hide in the toilets. Don't go anywhere. 2009 01:34:17,235 --> 01:34:18,236 ♪ Whoo 2010 01:34:18,403 --> 01:34:20,489 ♪ Get on your feet, boys 2011 01:34:20,656 --> 01:34:24,117 ♪ Rip it up, rip it up if you're ever gonna make it! 2012 01:34:24,284 --> 01:34:26,411 ♪ Get on your feet, girls 2013 01:34:26,578 --> 01:34:30,207 ♪ Rip it up, rip it up if you're ever gonna make it! 2014 01:34:30,374 --> 01:34:32,751 ♪ Rip it up, rip it up, rip it up 2015 01:34:33,126 --> 01:34:35,879 ♪ Rip it up, rip it up, rip it up 2016 01:34:44,846 --> 01:34:46,098 Aargh... 2017 01:34:47,557 --> 01:34:49,351 ♪ Get on your feet, boys 2018 01:34:49,559 --> 01:34:51,645 Do you have showers here? 2019 01:34:52,479 --> 01:34:53,730 No. 2020 01:34:53,897 --> 01:34:55,982 Do you sell wet wipes? 2021 01:34:56,441 --> 01:34:59,069 ♪ Rip it up, rip it up if you're ever gonna make it 2022 01:34:59,236 --> 01:35:01,238 ♪ Get on your feet, boys 2023 01:35:01,405 --> 01:35:05,200 ♪ Rip it up, rip it up if you're ever gonna make it 2024 01:35:05,367 --> 01:35:07,953 ♪ Rip it up, rip it up, rip it up 2025 01:35:08,370 --> 01:35:10,747 ♪ Rip it up, rip it up, rip it up... 2026 01:35:16,753 --> 01:35:18,505 ♪ Woke up and I felt all vibey 2027 01:35:18,672 --> 01:35:20,090 ♪ Woke up and I felt all lively 2028 01:35:20,257 --> 01:35:21,842 ♪ Woke up, I was, like, cor blimey 2029 01:35:22,008 --> 01:35:23,510 ♪ Got a whole lot of vibe inside me 2030 01:35:23,677 --> 01:35:25,220 ♪ My nuts were a little bit grimy 2031 01:35:25,387 --> 01:35:26,888 ♪ My guts were a little bit slimy 2032 01:35:27,055 --> 01:35:28,473 ♪ Washed up and made myself tidy 2033 01:35:28,640 --> 01:35:30,160 ♪ Now I'm spick and span and I'm shiny 2034 01:35:30,267 --> 01:35:32,144 ♪ Then I said, Jesus Lord, please guide me 2035 01:35:32,310 --> 01:35:33,854 ♪ Don't let these pussy-o's try me 2036 01:35:34,020 --> 01:35:35,522 ♪ Don't wanna see me get fiery 2037 01:35:35,689 --> 01:35:37,129 ♪ God, I know that you won't deny me 2038 01:35:37,274 --> 01:35:38,900 ♪ Let me know everything is irie 2039 01:35:39,067 --> 01:35:40,736 ♪ He said, Dun know that I'm your guy, G 2040 01:35:40,902 --> 01:35:42,446 ♪ I said, Amen, and I thank you kindly 2041 01:35:42,612 --> 01:35:44,698 ♪ Then I hopped in the whip all smiley 2042 01:35:45,157 --> 01:35:47,576 ♪ Catching the vibe Out here patterning vibes 2043 01:35:47,743 --> 01:35:49,161 ♪ Might get Ghost for the weekend 2044 01:35:49,327 --> 01:35:51,496 ♪ Grab one yatty and go for a ride 2045 01:35:51,663 --> 01:35:52,998 ♪ Catching the vibe 2046 01:35:53,165 --> 01:35:54,499 ♪ I'm so happy inside 2047 01:35:54,666 --> 01:35:56,168 ♪ I don't know about them man there 2048 01:35:56,334 --> 01:35:57,753 ♪ But I'm so gassed I'm alive 2049 01:35:57,919 --> 01:35:59,337 ♪ I've been waiting for so long 2050 01:35:59,504 --> 01:36:00,881 ♪ To pattern a vibe, it's true 2051 01:36:01,047 --> 01:36:02,807 ♪ Now that I caught this I ain't gonna let go 2052 01:36:02,966 --> 01:36:04,286 ♪ Until the whole night's through 2053 01:36:04,384 --> 01:36:06,553 ♪ Cos I've been waiting for so long ♪ So long 2054 01:36:06,720 --> 01:36:08,680 ♪ To catch a vibe with you, yeah 2055 01:36:08,847 --> 01:36:10,223 ♪ So, if you want to catch my wave 2056 01:36:10,390 --> 01:36:12,517 ♪ Maybe you can come my way Yeah, yeah 2057 01:36:12,684 --> 01:36:14,853 ♪ Creeper And I feel like a right proper geezer 2058 01:36:15,020 --> 01:36:16,646 ♪ Hold on, let me get a little deeper 2059 01:36:16,813 --> 01:36:18,453 ♪ Let me tell you how my day gets sweeter 2060 01:36:18,607 --> 01:36:20,209 ♪ Got a ting over there I don't cheat her 2061 01:36:20,233 --> 01:36:22,235 ♪ Got a ting I just poke, I don't tweet her 2062 01:36:22,402 --> 01:36:23,838 ♪ Roll up to the spot, then I beep her 2063 01:36:23,862 --> 01:36:25,662 ♪ Roll up to the spot, on time like the Reaper 2064 01:36:25,781 --> 01:36:27,115 ♪ Open the door then I greet her 2065 01:36:27,282 --> 01:36:28,825 ♪ I say, Wahgwan, my siñorita 2066 01:36:28,992 --> 01:36:30,470 ♪ You look like a right little keeper 2067 01:36:30,494 --> 01:36:32,078 ♪ Wanna get you a bevy and feed ya 2068 01:36:32,245 --> 01:36:33,723 ♪ Better buckle up tight cos I need ya 2069 01:36:33,747 --> 01:36:35,627 ♪ Like your birthday, the way I'm gonna treat ya 2070 01:36:35,749 --> 01:36:37,309 ♪ Got a whole lot of bass in my speaker 2071 01:36:37,459 --> 01:36:39,795 ♪ And you're rolling with a rasclart overachiever 2072 01:36:39,961 --> 01:36:41,129 ♪ Catching the vibe 2073 01:36:41,296 --> 01:36:42,631 ♪ Out here patterning vibes 2074 01:36:42,798 --> 01:36:44,132 ♪ Might get Ghost for the weekend 2075 01:36:44,299 --> 01:36:46,426 ♪ Grab one yatty and go for a ride 2076 01:36:46,593 --> 01:36:47,677 ♪ Catching the vibe 2077 01:36:47,844 --> 01:36:49,596 ♪ I'm so happy inside 2078 01:36:49,763 --> 01:36:51,163 ♪ I don't know about them man there 2079 01:36:51,223 --> 01:36:52,682 ♪ But I'm so gassed I'm alive 2080 01:36:52,849 --> 01:36:54,100 ♪ I've been waiting for so long 2081 01:36:54,267 --> 01:36:55,727 ♪ To pattern a vibe, it's true 2082 01:36:55,894 --> 01:36:57,654 ♪ Now that I caught this I ain't gonna let go 2083 01:36:57,729 --> 01:36:59,049 ♪ Until the whole night's through 2084 01:36:59,189 --> 01:37:01,441 ♪ Cos I've been waiting for so long ♪ So long 2085 01:37:01,608 --> 01:37:03,527 ♪ To catch a vibe with you, yeah 2086 01:37:03,693 --> 01:37:05,111 ♪ So, if you want to catch my wave 2087 01:37:05,278 --> 01:37:07,280 ♪ Maybe you can come my way Yeah, yeah 2088 01:37:07,447 --> 01:37:08,532 ♪ If you wanna ride 2089 01:37:08,698 --> 01:37:09,991 ♪ Come, we can pattern a vibe 2090 01:37:10,158 --> 01:37:11,576 ♪ I've been waiting all my life 2091 01:37:11,743 --> 01:37:13,995 ♪ So, we gotta get it right Yeah, yeah 2092 01:37:14,162 --> 01:37:15,205 ♪ If you wanna ride 2093 01:37:15,372 --> 01:37:16,998 ♪ Come, we can pattern it right 2094 01:37:17,165 --> 01:37:18,750 ♪ I'm just celebrating life 2095 01:37:18,917 --> 01:37:20,117 ♪ I'll be doing this all night 2096 01:37:20,252 --> 01:37:22,212 ♪ Just catching the vibe 2097 01:37:22,379 --> 01:37:23,672 ♪ Out here patterning vibes 2098 01:37:23,839 --> 01:37:25,159 ♪ Might get Ghost for the weekend 2099 01:37:25,257 --> 01:37:27,342 ♪ Grab one yatty and go for a ride 2100 01:37:27,717 --> 01:37:28,969 ♪ Catching the vibe 2101 01:37:29,135 --> 01:37:30,512 ♪ I'm so happy inside 2102 01:37:30,679 --> 01:37:32,180 ♪ I don't know about them man there 2103 01:37:32,347 --> 01:37:33,807 ♪ But I'm so cussed I'm alive 2104 01:37:33,974 --> 01:37:35,517 ♪ I've been waiting for so long 2105 01:37:35,684 --> 01:37:37,811 ♪ To catch a vibe with you, yeah 2106 01:37:37,978 --> 01:37:39,338 ♪ So, if you want to catch my wave 2107 01:37:39,437 --> 01:37:41,523 ♪ Maybe you can come my way Yeah, yeah 2108 01:37:48,530 --> 01:37:49,656 ♪ Catching the vibe 2109 01:37:49,823 --> 01:37:51,741 ♪ Out here patterning vibes 2110 01:37:51,908 --> 01:37:53,034 ♪ Catching the vibe 2111 01:37:53,201 --> 01:37:55,078 ♪ Out here patterning vibes 2112 01:37:55,245 --> 01:37:56,245 ♪ Catching the vibe 161573