All language subtitles for The Flash 2014 S05E09 INTERNAL 720p WEB H264-BAMBOOZLE

- My name is Barry Allen,

and I am
the fastest man alive.

To the outside world,

I'm an ordinary
forensic scientist.

But secretly,
with the help of my friends

at S.T.A.R. Labs,
I fight crime

and find other
meta-humans like me.

But when my daughter came back
from the future to help,

she changed the present.

And now our world
is more dangerous than ever,

and I'm the only one
fast enough to save it.

I am the Flash.

You failed.

Why are you doing this?

You did this to yourself.

And now all of you will perish.

My name is Dr. John Deegan,
and I, like most of you,

I'm a psychiatrist.

Do you know what my patients
tell me the most?

They feel inferior.

I'm here to tell you,
whether we admit it or not,

some people,
they're just born lucky,

which leads us to
the real problem, imperfection.

How can we ever hope
to feel like

supermen or superwomen

without first becoming
super ourselves?

I'm here to tell
you how, folks.

If we utilize eugenic insights,
I feel--

Hey, Frankenstein, go back
to your mad scientist lab.

Ma'am, ma'am, please--
would you wait, please?

Folks, folks, folks,
please listen.

I'm just saying, we can truly
help our patients.

Listen to me!

Idiots!

- Doctor.

Dr. John Deegan.

I need your help, John.

Go find someone else
to prank, douchebag.

My God, what are you?

Something beyond
your comprehension.

I've traveled far
to this place and time

to lay this precious burden
at your feet.

Use this book to reshape
the world as you see fit.

Show them what a real god
can do, John.

Why me?

You have vision.

That book holds the key
to your transformation, John,

and all you have to do
is open it.

Use it wisely, John.

The universe is in your hands.

I can--I can see...

I can see everything.

And a word of advice:

think big.

- Honey, breakfast is ready.

Honey.

It'll get cold.

What?

Morning.

Look, babe, they're perfect
this time.

What if Barry walks in?

What if he could have
seen that?

See...

Where's Barry?

Did you get enough sleep
last night?

Look, babe, I know that
we haven't caught Cicada,

but Caitlin's immunity
can help us.

Who's Cicada?

Our big bad.

Barry, are you okay?

I'm Barry?

What is wrong?

Honey, hi.
Talk to me.

I did not get enough sleep.

Are you--you sure
it's not my cooking?

'Cause...

No, no.

These smell delicious.

Thank you.

You know what?

I think that you call
Captain Singh

and you ask for a day off.

Look, with all
the superhero-ing

you've been doing, I think
you've earned it, honey.

You think maybe I should
go into S.T.A.R. Labs?

What--what?

Only my husband would think

working on Speed Force
equations

would be called a day off.

I love you, Barry Allen.

I love you, Iris West-Allen.

Break in at Ivo Labs.

Cisco's on comms.

I'll meet you guys
at S.T.A.R. Labs.

Whoa--whoa.

That's a rush.

Sorry, I polished it
last night

and left it on our dresser.

Barry,
what have you done this time?

- Barry, we got
a break-in at Ivo Labs,

two armed men
going after diamonds,

the ones they use
for conductors.

Hey, pump the brakes.

You're gonna have
to hang a U-ey,

'cause you passed Ivo
by about 18 blocks.

Found it.

- Someone's excited
to get to work.

It is too early for this.

Forget it, Flash.

We're leaving with
the diamonds, or this guy dies.

I said back off.

- Hey, what are you
doing there?

Just hit the guy
with the lightning punch.

You have failed this city.

Pretty sure that's
not your line.

Your adrenaline levels
are off the charts.

What's going on?

Overkill much?

Cops are on the way.

Why don't you just let them
take over from here?

So he's fine, Caitlin?

God, thank goodness.

Really?
There are no anomalies?

I don't--I don't have
a brain tumor?

Nothing?

Barry, you're
in perfect shape.

Babe, tell me about it.
I mean, hi, these abs.

And they're all mine.

Maybe we could lay off

the public displays
of affection,

just at work, you know?

Since when?

You're always saying that touch
is your love language.

That's right, Ralph.

Just feel like we're being
very insensitive to all of you.

Man, we've
talked about this.

I'm over Gypsy, okay?

But I appreciate the thought.

I'll be all right.

I'm gonna go home...

Because I need to think.

Think?

What are you guys doing?

Following you
into the hallway.

'Cause something
is definitely up.

You need
to talk about it?

Yeah, Barry,

you haven't seemed like
yourself all morning.

I'm fine.

I just think that
maybe I should go

and talk with someone who might
better understand

what I'm going through.

I'm gonna go see Oliver Queen.

I'll be back.

Dig, what are you
doing here?

I'm kicking your butt.

Now get up, come on.

You guys redecorate
the Bunker?

Oliver, you've been to ARGUS
a million times.

Oliver?

I'm Oliver Queen.

Yeah, I'll say.

I'm the Green Arrow.

Holy crap.

I've been hanging
with a tough crowd?

Yeah, you think?

Look, I need to make a call,
just to S.T.A.R. Labs,

just for some important
Green Arrow business.

You know how it is.
- Later.

What's that?

We've got Bratvas
fighting Bertinelli's

over in old Diaz weapons cache
in the Glades.

I could really use some backup,
Oliver.

Man, I don't know
if I'm feeling up for it.

I think I just
tweaked something.

ARGUS rapid response
is on another mission.

We're the only ones
that can make it in time.

Okay, yeah, I'm in.
- Good.

Suit up.

How do I put this...

I forget, do--do I need
help putting this on?

What are you doing?

I thought you going to fire
an incendiary arrow.

So did I.

Did you freaking see that?

Stop fooling around
and get the driver.

Damn.

Diggle!

No--no.

Man.
I'm glad to see you.

Yeah.

Nice outfit.

This can't be a coincidence.

There--there has to be
a reason behind this,

which means that someone
is responsible.

We need to know who--hey,
can you--can you not do that?

Man, what a total
"Freaky Friday."

No, wait,
we didn't switch bodies.

It's more of a "Quantum Leap."
Where's a mirror?

Focus, just for a second,

and take this seriously
because the world thinks

that you're Oliver Queen
and that I'm Barry Allen,

and I would really like
to know why.

Totally.
- Is that cool?

Yes.
- Thank you.

I'm sorry.

Weird.

Hey, Mayor.

Just, if you could--just
for 90 seconds of seriousness.

You gotta admit,
this is a little cool.

I will find it a lot cooler
when I wake up

in my own bed
tomorrow morning.

You woke up in bed
with Iris?

We have to fix this
right now!

- Let me get this straight.

You believe that you are not
Barry Allen,

but in fact, he is?

Barry, did you
time travel again?

No, I didn't.

She's talking to Barry.
- Sorry--

I am Barry.

Yeah, and I'm Wild Dog.
- Easy, Wild Dog.

Sarcasm.

It's not great sarcasm,
Cisco.

Do you mind if I...
- No, of course not.

Oliver's brain scan
is perfectly normal,

no signs of hypnosis
or psychic interference.

Tachyon meters are clear.

No one's screwing
with the Timeline.

Guys, come on, this is crazy.

I mean, there's no way that

I could be married
to Oliver Queen.

Sorry, but, babe, you know
he's not my type, right?

Iris, you really
don't believe me?

We're telling the truth.

Okay?
We're telling the truth.

Something is very, very wrong
with reality.

Yeah.

All right,
Team Flash meeting.

Not you, Barry.

Th-...

I've only got eyes for you,
you know that.

I sw--if you touch her...

I didn't touch her.

You thought about it.

All right, well, if
your team's not gonna help us,

then we have to keep moving.

They'll help us, okay?
They'll help us.

We just gotta get--we just
gotta get Iris on board first.

Good--fine, how--how are you
going to convince her?

I'm not, you are.

She's your wife.
- I know, man.

I know, I don't--I don't
like this anymore than you do.

You just gotta tell her
how much you care about her.

Tell her she's
your lightning rod.

I'm not--I'm not saying that.

Just say it.

Trust me.

It works every time.

Mind if I join you?

Yeah.

This should help.

I guess you forgot
you can't get drunk?

This day could not
get any worse.

You really think
that you're Oliver?

Yeah.

You know, Felicity called me
when Oliver was in prison.

Do you know how he ended up
in Slabside?

She--she called you?

He cut a deal, Barry,

completely behind
Felicity's back.

He didn't even warn her.

The FBI just showed up
and took him away.

She said all that?

She's hurting.

Oliver's life,
it's completely defined

by anger, vengeance.

That's why I am so lucky
to have you in my life.

Are you not
the least bit worried

that reality
might be broken?

Don't you have to consider what
we're telling you is the truth?

Isn't it possible?

Yeah, yeah, it is,

which is why
I'm really sorry, Barry.

Would you--I thought
I couldn't get drunk.

Nanites, courtesy
of Ray Palmer.

Whoever you are, we need
to get you to a safe place

until we can figure out
what happened.

I hope you can understand.

Come on.

Sorry, dude.

Come on.

Guys, come--

Guys, come on!

Let us out of here!

Come on.

Why are we in
your secret prison?

It's not a prison.

It's a Tesla conductor tube
that dampens meta-powers.

Okay, it's a prison.

We just need
to convince everybody

that we're not crazy!

How?

How do you suggest
that we do that?

Because everyone on Earth
thinks that we're each other.

That's it.

Maybe it's just Earth-1
that's been affected.

If we can get an extrapolator,

breach to Earth-38
and find Kara.

If she remembers us,
then maybe she can help

fix whatever's happened.

You skipped the part where
you explain how we escape.

Were you able to get
in touch with ARGUS?

Well, I tried, but I kept
getting interference

at 650 nanometers.

Isn't that the wavelength
for red light?

Red light, exactly.

And when I checked
the city's weather cams,

this is what I found:

red skies, yellow lightning.

So you think Barry
and Oliver's shared psychosis

is a result of weird weather?

Stranger things, right?

Okay, I'll run
their scans again.

- Best off giving up now.

Who the frak is that?

I spent the past seven months
in a maximum security prison,

and no matter who bad
things got--and they got bad--

every cell had a toilet.

You sure you can't hold it?

You wanna back up
the pipes.

And fry the dampener, yes.

That's a good idea.

Okay.

One problem, I'm not gonna
be able to reach the valve

with these on.

You're gonna have
to dislocate your thumb.

Are you crazy?
I'm--

I'm not crazy. You need
to dislocate your thumb.

Just apply pressure
to the joint.

No, I'm gonna break my hand--

You're not gonna
break your hand,

because in this reality,

your ligaments have been
stretched and conditioned

in the art of escape
by Anatoly Knyazev.

Now, man up, apply pressure
to the joint,

and dislocate your thumb.

It worked.
- Yeah.

All right.

Okay, now just wait for it.

Dampener's down.
Now what?

You're gonna have to phase
us out of here.

What?

Phasing.

That's when I vibrate
at the frequency of air,

causing all the cells
in my body to get so excited

I can pass through
solid objects.

Right, "phasing."

Want any advice?

One second here,
Barry, please.

I'm just saying,
it's not an easy move,

and if you screw this up

then you're gonna come out
of the phase

halfway through the glass.

What?

Why are you laughing?

I didn't realize...

Your thumb looks ridiculous.
- My God.

I didn't realize
that's how mine looked.

Well, look at that,
you did it.

Great.

Don't leave me, man.

Figured it out.

All right, let's go.

Get the extrapolator
and get out of here.

I can't let you do that,
Barry.

Iris, please, I know
how weird this is,

but somewhere inside, you know
we're telling the truth,

that it's me, Barry.

Do you remember
when I first moved in?

Joe brought me to the house
after my mom was killed.

I looked at you and I said,
"My dad didn't do it."

And then you said...
- "I believe you."

You always did.

And now I need you
to believe me again.

Iris, you're my lightning rod.

Quick, before
I change my mind.

We'll fix this, I promise.

I'm writing it.

We've been over this, hon.

No, you talked, I ignored.

You need a new muffler.

I think this is
a tie rod end.

Come on, Kara,
back me up here.

No, thanks.

I know better than
to get involved

in a debate with Lois Lane.

But you do know the feeling,

that itch, that fire
in the back of your head,

the siren song of a story
that has to be written.

Yeah, I do, I do.

The world is gonna want
to know why Lois Lane

went to Argo City
with Superman.

Details, I'll make up
a reason.

So much for truth
in journalism.

Says the reporter
who writes about

his own exploits as Superman.

I was the first human
to set foot

on what's left of Krypton,

to lay eyes
on the Jewel Mountains,

to endure the endless,
torturous deliberations

of the High Council,

and I have to write about it.

One small step for Lois Lane,

one giant leap
for Lois Lane's career.

Says the woman who is already
the most famous, feared,

and intrepid reporter
on two planets.

And yet someone on this farm

is still making 21¢
on the dollar more than me.

And it ain't Kara, honey.

You two catch up.

I am gonna go slam
some small things really hard.

Okay, just be careful
on that ladder.

It's really old.

You'll catch me.

Break time, boss?

I've never been challenged
like that before,

just to my face:

"Tell us who you are,
Supergirl."

Well, except for Ms. Grant.

Well, and I'm sure
it was harder

when it's the president
doing the threatening.

Cat was scarier.
- Yeah.

Do you think I did
the right thing?

Our secret identities,
they protect the people we love

from being threatened
by our enemies.

There aren't a lot of things
more important than that.

I'm just sad I have
to leave the DEO,

and now Alex is there alone.
I feel like I let her down.

And then I left you
to defend Earth alone

so I could got to Argo.

Nah--
- I'm sorry.

No, don't be sorry
about that. It's home.

I'm really glad you
got to see it finally,

connect with it.

It was more than
just connecting

with our culture, you know?

I'm okay.

You know, it was Lois.

Everything new that
I experienced on Argo,

she was experiencing it too.

You know, out there we were--
we were both strange visitors.

I must sound so selfish.

No, love is the most
unselfish thing in the world...

On any world.

Well, about that.

There's something that I've
needed to talk to you about.

Okay.

Wait, wait, wait.

Who are you?
- We come in peace.

Whoa, Lois, wait, wait.

This is Barry and Oliver.
They're friends.

Wait.

So you know that I'm Oliver
and he's Barry?

Yeah, w--why wouldn't I?

Man.

Okay.

Um, you guys, this is
my cousin Clark.

I'm so glad you get to meet.

Your cousin.
That cousin?

The super cousin?

Please, call me Clark.

Welcome to our farm.

Cool.

Are you puffing out your chest?

Yes.

Lois Lane, "Daily Planet."

Wait, why did you guys think
I wouldn't recognize you?

Well...

Well, that's new.

We could use your help.

- All units to Waid
and Augustyn.

Something's destroying
IVO Labs.

He has our powers.

Again.

Okay, come on, man.

I mean, I've been shooting
paint cans all afternoon.

Unless--unless a paint can
rewrote reality

and made us swap lives...
- I get it.

Then you need actual
combat training, Barry.

All right, fine.
You know what?

Why don't you go over there,
run at me,

and I'll try and hit you
with an arrow.

Right, okay.

Where did you bury
the remote control bows?

Dude.

Come on, I'm not you.

Yeah, well, okay.

Ready!

Here we go.

Nice try.

I've been waiting
four years for that, man.

It's priceless.
Hold on.

Need to get a photo.

What?
- Boom.

I got it, don't worry.
Hold on a second.

That's great.

You think this is funny?

Do you think my skills
are a joke?

Come on, man.

I was a much better sport
when you shot me.

I shot you to teach you
how to case an environment.

You shot me to get a laugh.

All right.
- You know what?

Fine, fine.
Come at me.

Try to get--try to get
one hit in.

Deck him, Barry!

What?
He's a jerk.

I'm not doing this.
This isn't how I train.

You train?
Really?

I thought your powers
just dropped out of the sky.

If you're trying to get
a rise out of me,

it's not gonna work.

Need a peanut gallery?

Can you not do anything
without your wife in your ear?

Are you serious, man?

Felicity invented
quarterbacking.

I don't think that you can
go more than nine hours

without some sappy
motivational speech.

I'm not doing this.

Your team betrayed you.

You needed them,
and they weren't there.

I'm not doing this.

You know, if you really knew
how to use my speed,

I never could have laid
a finger on you.

That's the guy who attacked
us at Ivo Laboratories,

Anti-Meta-human
Adaptive Zootomic Organism.

A-M-A-Z-O, "AMAZO."

Sometimes these things
just fall into your lap.

It says Ivo Labs
was contracted by ARGUS

to build a unit capable
of identifying meta-powers.

He doesn't just scan powers.

He's pumping a nano-adaptive
hybrid of the "Mirakuru" serum.

So that's how
he stole our powers.

He scanned
our meta-human genes,

then used the Mirakuru hybrid
to copy them.

So an evil copycat Gort

is coming to klaatu barada
kick-to our asses,

and we can't let out Flash
and Green Arrow to fight it?

Well, we could
if they were still here.

Why don't you tell them,
Iris West-Allen, what happened.

Hurry.

You let them out?

Okay, look, I know what
you're thinking.

But I spoke to Oliver,
or whoever he is,

and I could feel something.

Guys, I felt like I was
really talking to Barry.

I believe you.

It is weird out there.

These red skies,
Barry and Oliver--that,

and I vibed somebody
in the Speed Lab.

What?
- Yeah.

Some guy with ridges
on his head,

these big muttonchops.

Do you think that
the red skies, this guy,

these disparate events
are somehow connected?

So Barry and Oliver
were mind-swapped

by a guy with muttonchops?

Man, it's not even Tuesday.

It's AMAZO.

He just entered city limits.

Don't tell me
you came to say sorry.

I try to avoid
saying that word.

Look, man, I get it.

You were just trying to help
in your own Oliver way,

trying to get
a rise out of me

so I'd fight like you.

Yeah, it's more than that,
Barry.

I've been doing this
for a very long time.

And nearly every time
that I learn a lesson,

it comes with a painful memory.

Watched friends die.
I've had to kill to survive.

When I'm the Green Arrow,

I channel those
painful memories.

I--I draw on a darkness

every time I draw back
my bow.

So to see you
with all of my abilities,

just laughing
and joking around,

it pissed me off,

more than I would
care to admit.

Whenever I run,
whatever I'm feeling inside,

grief, guilt,
I've gotta just let it go

and focus on whatever
I'm running toward:

Iris, my friends,
all the joy in my life.

When I'm happy, I run faster,

just like when
you phased earlier.

You were having a good time.

You couldn't dislocate
your thumb until you got angry.

If you're gonna be
the Green Arrow

and I'm gonna be the Flash...

Maybe we need to start
acting more like each other.

Yes, finally, God.

Super hearing, sorry.

But I've been sitting in there

waiting for you guys
to figure this out

because I have
a lot of thoughts, okay?

I should smile more.

Yeah, maybe you should.
It might help.

You guys have to act the parts.

Come on, try it.

What?

I'm the Green Arrow.

Wear a mask.

Sound like that--I don't--

Cisco?

Hey, Supergirl, Barry...

Oliver.

You believe us now?

Yeah, we all do.

Sorry we locked you up.

But if you feel like
forgiving us

and coming back to Earth-1,

we've got a little bit
of a sitch back home,

like a please,
for the love of God,

there's a killer robot
destroying the city

kind of sitch.

We could use some help.

Let's do it.
- You wanna tag along?

If you don't, I will,
Smallville.

Cool.
Who are you?

A friend.

Where the hell is Cisco?

I'm right here.

And I brought the big guns.

What are they doing?

Trying to keep AMAZO
off balance

before it has time
to replicate their abilities.

Finish him.

- No sign of movement.

Nice work.

We got lucky.

Guys, you might want
to get out of the way.

What the hell is he doing?

Exactly what we wanted
to avoid.

Well, that's not great.

AMAZO copied
all of their powers,

and now it's
on the hunt for more.

Cisco, there's got
to be something

you can do to stop it.

How do you stop a T-3000
that kills for breakfast?

It's a computer, right?
So just turn it off.

I hate it when you're right.
- Well, I'm right.

Let's go.

It can phase.
- That's what that's called?

Well, we can't fight
what we can't hit.

I've got an idea.

Bring him back here.

No problem.

Move.

When he comes back,
knock him down.

He won't be able to phase
and run at the same time.

- Guys, where are we at?

I think we got it.

We reverse-engineered
AMAZO's operating system

and whipped up a virus
to wipe the CPU.

Not so difficult.
- Except...

Except it's a robot
that has replicated

their super strengths,
and, thus,

now it is impenetrable,
so you cannot put

the virus inside it.

That's not great.

Okay, so what do we do?

Look, if AMAZO inherited
all of their strengths,

then maybe it inherited
their weaknesses too.

- Only we're not gonna
weaken it, Iris.

We're gonna send it
straight to hell.

Oliver, you're gonna have to
counteract AMAZO's phasing

while Supergirl
and Superman hold it.

- Got it.
- I'll only have one shot.

Now, bring me that virus,
Cisco.

Come here.

Get ready.

Done.

Don't miss.

I won't.

Hurry up!

AMAZO, you have
failed this city.

AMAZO has been dismantled

and every piece locked up
in a S.T.A.R. Labs vault

except for this one.
This is my souvenir.

A round of applause,
everybody.

Felicitations, Flash.

That's quite a performance
you did out there.

Well, I appreciate that,
but still Oliver Queen.

And I am still Barry Allen.

I don't know, guys.

You took down AMAZO
in one shot.

Only the Green Arrow
can do that.

And, Oliver, you outran AMAZO,
just like the Flash.

Maybe we should stick
with this whole body swap thing

for a while.

Seems to be working okay.

I don't know that anybody
would be too worried

if you two don't switch back.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

We need to figure out who
did this to Barry and Oliver

and why and then we're gonna
reverse it, okay?

Caitlin, any thoughts?

I haven't quite figured
it out yet,

but until I do,
I am confident

that Central City and Star City
are in good hands.

Speaking of "in good hands,"

I should probably get back
to Metropolis and Lois.

If anything were to happen,
her entire world's unprotected.

Yeah, yeah, I get it.

Thank you
for helping us, Clark.

We couldn't have stopped
AMAZO without you.

Not so sure
about that.

Hello, Clark.

Help a genius out, would you?

Look, I want to give you
this check--

I do this for free, the whole
helping humanity thing.

You think that
I'm giving...

no, no, not for that.

This is a alimony check
for my third wife.

She also live on Earth-38,

and I might be a little bit
behind in the payment.

If you could just do me
the favor...

You want me to deliver this
to your ex-wife?

To my ex-wife,
my third ex-wife.

You're welcome.

You're welcome too.

It's super.

Man, I can trust him, right?

Are you okay?

No.

You did a great job
with AMAZO,

but at what cost, Barry?

What do you mean?

Do you know why I let
you and Oliver go?

It was because
of something that I felt.

When I stopped looking
with my eyes

and I started listening
with my heart,

I realized that you,

Barry Allen,
have always been

and will always be
the man that I love.

No matter what mask
I wear,

I'll always show you
my true face.

I need you to promise me
something, Barry.

Promise me that when we
figure out who did this to you

and when you get
your speed back

and you're finally
back in my arms...

That'll you'll come back to me.

Of course I'll come back.

Barry, I heard what you said

right before
you took that shot.

You're the Green Arrow now.

But please don't become
Oliver Queen.

I won't.

I promise.

- Barry, we need you
in the workshop.

So you think this person
you saw has something to do

with what's happened
to Barry and Oliver?

I mean, I saw him
right after

these two swapped capes.

You've been having trouble
with your vibes lately, right?

Maybe it's that?
- No.

This was beyond me.

It felt like something
important.

We need to see it.

Okay, hang on.

My God, I can see everything.

Fascinating.

I wouldn't have thought
the men of this Earth

had this capacity.

But it won't avail you.

None of you can stop
what's been set into motion.

You're best off giving up now,

because nothing you can do
can alter

what's about to happen.

Are you okay?

No, not even close.

What did you see?

This.

I don't recognize him.

Doesn't matter.

I know where to find him.

So what's our next move?

We're going to Gotham City.

- Greg, move your head.