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00:00:12,047 --> 00:00:15,307
Webster's defines "class"
as "a group of students
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00:00:15,317 --> 00:00:19,211
gathered at a pre-ordained time
for the purposes of education."
3
00:00:19,221 --> 00:00:22,447
Angela pretty much epitomized class.
4
00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:26,017
Who could turn the world on
with her smile? Angela.
5
00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:27,552
Who could take a nothing day
6
00:00:27,562 --> 00:00:31,123
and suddenly make it all
seem worthwhile? Angela.
7
00:00:31,133 --> 00:00:34,390
So no one told you life
was gonna be this way.
8
00:00:35,604 --> 00:00:36,928
Angela.
9
00:00:36,938 --> 00:00:40,866
Sometimes you want to go
where everybody knows your name.
10
00:00:40,876 --> 00:00:42,167
Angela.
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00:00:47,282 --> 00:00:48,607
Angela.
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00:00:48,617 --> 00:00:51,076
I'm sorry. Death is hard for me.
13
00:00:51,086 --> 00:00:53,845
But at least Angela died
doing what she loved:
14
00:00:53,855 --> 00:00:56,815
swimming less than 20 minutes
after she had eaten.
15
00:00:56,825 --> 00:00:59,518
That's a real thing, kids.
Listen to your mothers.
16
00:00:59,528 --> 00:01:03,321
That was Angela. Fearless. Spontaneous.
17
00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:06,358
Honest, about herself
just as much as she was
18
00:01:06,368 --> 00:01:08,260
about the world around her.
19
00:01:08,270 --> 00:01:12,931
She had grace, courage,
and an unmatched zest for life.
20
00:01:12,941 --> 00:01:15,734
She may be gone,
but her voice will live on
21
00:01:15,744 --> 00:01:18,136
in DVD and Hulu Plus
22
00:01:18,146 --> 00:01:21,373
and tiny droid-projected messages.
23
00:01:21,383 --> 00:01:23,842
I may have lost a boss,
24
00:01:23,852 --> 00:01:26,854
but heaven has gained a princess.
25
00:01:30,192 --> 00:01:32,726
And I am at the wrong funeral.
26
00:01:34,729 --> 00:01:38,523
It seems today that all you see
27
00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:41,893
Is violence in movies and sex on TV
28
00:01:41,903 --> 00:01:45,564
But where are those
good old-fashioned values
29
00:01:45,574 --> 00:01:48,466
On which we used to rely?
30
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:51,903
Lucky there's a family guy
31
00:01:51,913 --> 00:01:55,307
Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
32
00:01:55,317 --> 00:01:56,908
All the things that make us
33
00:01:56,918 --> 00:01:58,710
Laugh and cry
34
00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:04,123
He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy!
35
00:02:04,133 --> 00:02:07,146
- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
36
00:02:10,098 --> 00:02:12,090
Any idea what this meeting is about?
37
00:02:15,437 --> 00:02:18,530
Oh, we're getting a new boss?
Oh, I hope it's Hugo Boss.
38
00:02:18,540 --> 00:02:20,098
Then we'll all look snazzy.
39
00:02:20,108 --> 00:02:21,566
Tonight's episode of Family Guy
40
00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:23,535
is brought to you by Hugo Boss.
41
00:02:23,545 --> 00:02:25,737
Look for us in the
low-trafficked corner of Macy's
42
00:02:25,747 --> 00:02:28,940
between Eddie Bauer and
the never-bought male jewelry.
43
00:02:28,950 --> 00:02:32,110
Attention, everyone!
Do not adjust your TV sets.
44
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:34,412
We are an interracial couple.
45
00:02:34,422 --> 00:02:36,081
I'd like to introduce myself.
46
00:02:36,091 --> 00:02:39,417
My name is Bert and this
is my lovely wife Sheila.
47
00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:42,287
Two sets of disappointed parents
right there.
48
00:02:42,297 --> 00:02:44,522
- Well, only her parents.
- Aah!
49
00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:46,558
Now that Angela's no longer with us,
50
00:02:46,568 --> 00:02:48,526
we will be your new bosses.
51
00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:50,562
We're splitting the job
because one of the shareholders'
52
00:02:50,572 --> 00:02:53,298
favorite songs was "Ebony and Ivory,"
53
00:02:53,308 --> 00:02:55,800
so here we are.
54
00:02:55,810 --> 00:02:57,736
Now we know it's difficult to remember
55
00:02:57,746 --> 00:03:00,138
two new names, so to make things easier,
56
00:03:00,148 --> 00:03:02,774
- you can call us "Beila."
- Or "Shert."
57
00:03:04,653 --> 00:03:06,912
Boy, I bet you
she's a handful in the bedroom.
58
00:03:06,922 --> 00:03:08,280
Two handfuls, baby.
59
00:03:08,290 --> 00:03:10,315
Damn it, I went all the way
around the room!
60
00:03:10,325 --> 00:03:12,484
Now, some of you may find the idea
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00:03:12,494 --> 00:03:15,453
of two bosses unconventional, but...
62
00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:18,456
We assure you nothing will be different.
63
00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:24,095
And our door will always be open
to you any time of day.
64
00:03:24,105 --> 00:03:28,833
And there is no issue
too big or too small.
65
00:03:28,843 --> 00:03:31,569
Nice to meet all of you.
66
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:34,673
So, as our mascot Pawtucket Pat says,
67
00:03:34,683 --> 00:03:38,285
"All ye Federalists, imbibe!"
68
00:03:40,021 --> 00:03:41,913
It means, "Everybody, drink."
69
00:03:41,923 --> 00:03:43,181
Yay!
70
00:03:43,191 --> 00:03:45,968
Two bosses? This sucks.
71
00:03:45,978 --> 00:03:47,933
Well, at least it beats
being home with my wife.
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00:03:47,943 --> 00:03:48,951
Peter!
73
00:03:48,961 --> 00:03:51,254
Aah! When did we cut back home?
74
00:03:57,038 --> 00:03:58,964
- Hey, Peter.
- All right, Sheila,
75
00:03:58,974 --> 00:04:01,366
let's do it right here
on the desk while Bert watches.
76
00:04:01,376 --> 00:04:03,301
No, Peter, that's not what this is.
77
00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:05,370
Sorry, I-I thought
I was picking up on a vibe.
78
00:04:05,380 --> 00:04:08,139
So, Peter, we've been tasked
with making the operations
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00:04:08,149 --> 00:04:10,709
around here run more efficiently,
80
00:04:10,719 --> 00:04:13,712
and part of that will involve
reassigning people
81
00:04:13,722 --> 00:04:15,347
based on their abilities.
82
00:04:15,357 --> 00:04:18,216
We want you to be
the office recyclables guy.
83
00:04:18,226 --> 00:04:20,185
So we're gonna put a flag on you,
84
00:04:20,195 --> 00:04:21,953
and wherever you go, people will know
85
00:04:21,963 --> 00:04:24,398
that's where they put their recyclables.
86
00:04:26,101 --> 00:04:28,202
Please don't just throw them over.
87
00:04:30,405 --> 00:04:32,697
Well, at least make sure all
the liquids are gone, please,
88
00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:34,408
before you throw them.
89
00:04:36,211 --> 00:04:38,903
Smithers, who is that young go-getter?
90
00:04:38,913 --> 00:04:41,172
That's a character
from another show, sir.
91
00:04:41,182 --> 00:04:43,775
- Simpson, you say?
- Pretty much, sir. mu
92
00:04:48,523 --> 00:04:50,749
We now return to Titanic 2,
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00:04:50,759 --> 00:04:52,426
narrated by Al Gore.
94
00:04:54,262 --> 00:04:56,521
Iceberg, right ahead!
95
00:04:56,531 --> 00:05:00,525
But due to man's
excessive use of fossil fuels,
96
00:05:00,535 --> 00:05:02,660
climate change had rendered the iceberg
97
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:05,472
nothing more than a small cube.
98
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,934
Peter, why are you wearing a flag?
99
00:05:09,944 --> 00:05:12,604
Eh, it's part of my job now
'cause of my new bosses.
100
00:05:12,614 --> 00:05:14,539
Uh, is it a promotion?
101
00:05:14,549 --> 00:05:16,541
Because it doesn't
look like a promotion.
102
00:05:16,551 --> 00:05:18,943
No, it looks like an old lady's Rascal.
103
00:05:18,953 --> 00:05:21,379
- Aah!
- So, who are these new bosses?
104
00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:24,649
Their names are Bert and Sheila.
My job sucks now.
105
00:05:24,659 --> 00:05:27,018
It's worse than when
I was a dinosaur walker.
106
00:05:27,028 --> 00:05:29,988
- Hey!
- What?
107
00:05:29,998 --> 00:05:31,790
- Pick that up!
- Pick what up?
108
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,825
- That!
- That? That was there.
109
00:05:33,835 --> 00:05:35,593
No, you were looking at your phone.
110
00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:37,228
- No, I wasn't.
- Yes, you were.
111
00:05:37,238 --> 00:05:38,596
Sir, this is a neighborhood
112
00:05:38,606 --> 00:05:40,632
where we respect the rules of society.
113
00:05:40,642 --> 00:05:43,429
Ooh! Society now.
Sir Thomas More up here.
114
00:05:43,439 --> 00:05:44,647
Good for you and your neighborhood.
115
00:05:44,657 --> 00:05:46,304
I'm gonna take a picture of you
and post it on Facebook.
116
00:05:46,314 --> 00:05:48,406
Oh, great!
I hope it gets a lot of likes.
117
00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:49,808
You know what? I forgot my bag.
118
00:05:49,818 --> 00:05:52,085
- Ooh, you forgot your bag?
- Yeah, I forgot my bag.
119
00:05:52,095 --> 00:05:53,140
But I'll be sure to come back
120
00:05:53,150 --> 00:05:54,633
- and pick this up.
- Oh, yes, I'm sure you'll be back.
121
00:05:54,643 --> 00:05:56,781
Look, I'm only here to create
an amusing comparison
122
00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:58,349
- to my current job...
- Well, bully for you.
123
00:05:58,359 --> 00:05:59,651
Which I am, at this moment,
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00:05:59,661 --> 00:06:01,126
describing to my family
in my living room.
125
00:06:01,136 --> 00:06:03,154
So, technically, you don't even exist.
126
00:06:03,164 --> 00:06:05,623
Well, how do you know I wasn't
telling my wife a story
127
00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:07,826
and you're a figment of my imagination?
128
00:06:07,836 --> 00:06:10,328
I-I can assure you that is not the case.
129
00:06:10,338 --> 00:06:13,164
We'll be right backwith more Greg in the Window.
130
00:06:13,174 --> 00:06:14,632
Well, I'll be.
131
00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:16,634
Window!
132
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,803
Greg in the Window, brought to you by
133
00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:20,814
never-bought male jewelry.
134
00:06:24,686 --> 00:06:28,012
Okay, Peter, we've got
something else for you.
135
00:06:28,022 --> 00:06:31,749
We need you to taste test our
new varieties of seasonal beers,
136
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:33,952
which will be coming down
this conveyor belt.
137
00:06:33,962 --> 00:06:35,587
Place those on this tray.
138
00:06:35,597 --> 00:06:37,155
All right, that seems easy enough.
139
00:06:37,165 --> 00:06:38,823
Also, our delivery truck drivers
140
00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:40,825
have to pass an annual drug test,
141
00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:43,294
so we'll need you to collect
their urine samples.
142
00:06:43,304 --> 00:06:45,330
They'll be coming down
this same conveyor belt
143
00:06:45,340 --> 00:06:47,165
in similarly colored cups,
144
00:06:47,175 --> 00:06:49,501
which you will need to place
on this tray.
145
00:06:49,511 --> 00:06:50,935
Well, that doesn't seem like a...
146
00:06:50,945 --> 00:06:52,537
Belt activated.
147
00:06:52,547 --> 00:06:55,507
Uh, showtime.
148
00:06:57,519 --> 00:06:59,777
Pumpkin, not bad.
149
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:02,419
Ugh, trucker pee.
150
00:07:02,429 --> 00:07:04,482
Belt speed increasing.
151
00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:05,650
Oh, boy.
152
00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:08,453
Apple cinnamon, not bad.
153
00:07:08,463 --> 00:07:10,355
Pee laced with meth.
154
00:07:10,365 --> 00:07:13,664
- Winter wheat.
- Lady trucker pee.
155
00:07:14,696 --> 00:07:16,361
Belt speed maximum.
156
00:07:16,371 --> 00:07:19,330
Ah, crap! Trucker. Trucker.
157
00:07:19,340 --> 00:07:21,499
Oktoberfest. Trucker.
158
00:07:21,509 --> 00:07:25,336
Amber squash, yuck. Trucker. Trucker.
159
00:07:25,346 --> 00:07:28,215
And let's hope this one
was an Asparagus IPA.
160
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:35,580
Too bad about the latest
sales numbers, huh?
161
00:07:35,590 --> 00:07:38,216
I don't talk to anyone
standing at a urinal.
162
00:07:38,226 --> 00:07:40,718
Too bad about the latest
sales numbers, huh?
163
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:41,886
Thanks for waiting.
164
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,821
You know, our testing
came back and shows
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00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,423
we're losing market share.
166
00:07:45,433 --> 00:07:48,726
Apparently, nobody can relate
to our mascot Pawtucket Pat.
167
00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:50,828
Are you guys
talking about work in there?
168
00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:53,731
Oh, yes, come on in, honey.
We've put our wangs away.
169
00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:55,700
Did you tell him about our testing?
170
00:07:55,710 --> 00:07:58,636
Yeah, our customers find
a 300-year-old mascot
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00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:01,973
hard to relate to,
they want a regular guy.
172
00:08:01,983 --> 00:08:05,843
You know, a-a guy who'd
drink a beer on a toilet.
173
00:08:08,056 --> 00:08:09,681
Griffin?
174
00:08:09,691 --> 00:08:10,982
No.
175
00:08:10,992 --> 00:08:12,796
It is you, Peter.
176
00:08:12,806 --> 00:08:13,957
What are you doing?
177
00:08:13,967 --> 00:08:16,254
Playing a game on my phone
and having a beer.
178
00:08:16,264 --> 00:08:17,956
And, God willing, going to the bathroom.
179
00:08:17,966 --> 00:08:19,924
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
180
00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:22,093
He must be (BLEEP) on his shirt tail?
181
00:08:22,103 --> 00:08:24,028
Ew, yes, but also,
182
00:08:24,038 --> 00:08:25,830
that's exactly the kind of customer
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00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,432
we should be appealing to.
184
00:08:27,442 --> 00:08:30,768
I think we found our new mascot.
Are you in, Peter?
185
00:08:31,669 --> 00:08:34,105
May I have a moment
to talk it over with my mentor?
186
00:08:34,115 --> 00:08:35,773
Sure.
187
00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:41,613
I'm in.
188
00:08:41,623 --> 00:08:44,088
No. We did it.
189
00:08:50,328 --> 00:08:52,921
Wow, Peter, so you're really
replacing Pawtucket Pat
190
00:08:52,931 --> 00:08:56,091
- as the new mascot?
- Yup, I'm the new Pawtucket Pat.
191
00:08:56,101 --> 00:08:57,993
Hey, now you and Jared from Subway
192
00:08:58,003 --> 00:08:59,494
have two things in common.
193
00:08:59,504 --> 00:09:02,497
No! No, that's not true, Meg!
It's not true!
194
00:09:02,507 --> 00:09:04,332
Peter, Peter, she's garbage.
She's garbage.
195
00:09:04,342 --> 00:09:07,502
- Let it go. You're the king.
- Yeah, garbage, yeah.
196
00:09:07,512 --> 00:09:08,870
Anyway, turn on the TV.
197
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,842
They're about to play
my first commercial.
198
00:09:38,543 --> 00:09:40,202
Pawtucket Patriot:
199
00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:42,871
the perfect beer
for New England beaches.
200
00:09:48,887 --> 00:09:51,112
Ladies and gentlemen,
201
00:09:51,122 --> 00:09:53,882
throwing out today's
ceremonial first pitch,
202
00:09:53,892 --> 00:09:56,818
the face of
the Pawtucket Patriot Brewery,
203
00:09:56,828 --> 00:09:58,829
Pawtucket Pat!
204
00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:10,532
Aah! Please kill me!
205
00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:12,367
Still buy the beer, though.
206
00:10:12,377 --> 00:10:16,071
And now, a five-hour baseball game.
207
00:10:16,081 --> 00:10:17,572
Hey, guys, I'm Billy on the Street,
208
00:10:17,582 --> 00:10:19,341
and I'm here with
one of the biggest mascots
209
00:10:19,351 --> 00:10:22,210
- in America right now.
- Popular, he means. Not large.
210
00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:23,545
Let me do my intro!
211
00:10:23,555 --> 00:10:25,981
Okay, we're gonna go up
to people and give a dollar
212
00:10:25,991 --> 00:10:28,216
to everyone who recognizes you.
Let's go.
213
00:10:28,226 --> 00:10:31,052
Sir, sir, sir, for a dollar,
do you know who this is?
214
00:10:31,062 --> 00:10:33,421
- No.
- Oh, come on, he's in a new commercial.
215
00:10:33,431 --> 00:10:34,923
I don't even own a TV.
216
00:10:34,933 --> 00:10:38,260
Oh, you don't own a TV?
I'm very impressed! Let's go!
217
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:40,128
Sir, sir, quick, tell me.
218
00:10:40,138 --> 00:10:41,796
- Who is this man?
- Uh...
219
00:10:41,806 --> 00:10:44,599
Adweek magazine called him
the Pitchman of the Year.
220
00:10:44,609 --> 00:10:46,434
Who doesn't read Adweek?!
221
00:10:46,444 --> 00:10:48,136
There's, uh, there's more running
222
00:10:48,146 --> 00:10:49,704
than I thought there'd be.
223
00:10:49,714 --> 00:10:52,307
- Oh, is he Jerry Ferrara?
- Jerry Ferrara?
224
00:10:52,317 --> 00:10:55,076
You mean Turtle from Entourage?You're the worst!
225
00:10:55,086 --> 00:10:56,778
Even worse than the Entourage movie!
226
00:10:56,788 --> 00:11:00,015
Mark Wahlberg is one of
our finest producers!
227
00:11:00,025 --> 00:11:03,396
I-I don't, uh, I-I don't feel
comfortable doing this.
228
00:11:03,406 --> 00:11:05,453
He was just getting a cup
of coffee with his daughter.
229
00:11:05,463 --> 00:11:08,156
- They should know you!
- Hey, you're Pawtucket Pat.
230
00:11:08,166 --> 00:11:10,559
Yes, thank you! He's Pawtucket Pat!
231
00:11:10,569 --> 00:11:11,693
Not that I watch this show.
232
00:11:11,703 --> 00:11:14,763
I watch Black Mirror and
The Goldbergs, and that's it!
233
00:11:14,773 --> 00:11:16,731
Wow, can I get a picture with you?
234
00:11:16,741 --> 00:11:19,100
- No!
- What's his problem?
235
00:11:19,110 --> 00:11:21,803
Between you and me, I think
he may need a lady friend.
236
00:11:21,813 --> 00:11:23,638
Peter, I'm famously gay!
237
00:11:23,648 --> 00:11:26,250
Oh, my God, he ran around the world.
238
00:11:31,456 --> 00:11:33,729
Hey, so how's the whole
Pawtucket Pat thing going?
239
00:11:33,739 --> 00:11:34,823
Aw, it's the best.
240
00:11:34,833 --> 00:11:37,486
Everywhere I go,
people recognize me and love me.
241
00:11:37,496 --> 00:11:39,267
And the other day,
I even got to hang out
242
00:11:39,277 --> 00:11:41,323
with a bunch of other famous mascots.
243
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:44,125
So, you, uh, you really make
all those cookies in that tree?
244
00:11:44,135 --> 00:11:46,227
- They're great!
- Like, the tree is wood.
245
00:11:46,237 --> 00:11:48,296
Like, how does the tree
not catch on fire?
246
00:11:48,306 --> 00:11:50,332
Hey, you want to cool it
with that drumming?
247
00:11:50,342 --> 00:11:52,400
Anyway, do you have to water your house?
248
00:11:52,410 --> 00:11:53,702
- 'Cause I would think that...
- They're great!
249
00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:55,437
You know what, let's just forget
the conversation
250
00:11:55,447 --> 00:11:57,031
and just pose for the picture.
251
00:11:57,949 --> 00:12:00,275
By the way, Tony,
I'm sorry your wife was shot
252
00:12:00,285 --> 00:12:02,286
by Donald Trump's children.
253
00:12:06,558 --> 00:12:10,018
Hi, Peter.
It's me, Sheila, and me, Bert.
254
00:12:10,028 --> 00:12:12,821
Here's a dollar! Stop talking like that!
255
00:12:12,831 --> 00:12:14,622
Sorry about him. We ruined people's days
256
00:12:14,632 --> 00:12:15,957
in New York earlier.
257
00:12:15,967 --> 00:12:18,164
We came by to share some great news.
258
00:12:18,174 --> 00:12:20,628
That's right.
Your character's so popular,
259
00:12:20,638 --> 00:12:24,580
you're gonna have a balloon
in the annual Quahog Parade!
260
00:12:24,590 --> 00:12:27,783
- No way. That's awesome!
- Said no one ever.
261
00:12:27,793 --> 00:12:29,886
Ah. Yes. I've seen that on the Internet.
262
00:12:29,896 --> 00:12:31,254
Uh, who is this?
263
00:12:31,264 --> 00:12:33,289
Oh, that's-that's my dog, Brian.
264
00:12:33,299 --> 00:12:35,525
You have a dog that makes jokes
and drinks beer?
265
00:12:35,535 --> 00:12:37,126
Not just any beer.
266
00:12:37,136 --> 00:12:39,161
Pawtucket Patriot Truckers Blend.
267
00:12:39,171 --> 00:12:42,532
- Ah, I approved that.
- Oh, this is just what we need.
268
00:12:42,542 --> 00:12:45,001
- You guys are great together.
- What are you talking about?
269
00:12:45,011 --> 00:12:48,971
Well, think about it, Peter.
The public loves Pawtucket Pat.
270
00:12:48,981 --> 00:12:51,240
Imagine how much they'd love to know
271
00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:54,610
he has a funny sidekick dog
who drinks with him.
272
00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:57,446
Wow, that could be really cool.
What do you say, Brian?
273
00:12:57,456 --> 00:12:59,549
You're saying you need
a mascot's sidekick?
274
00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:01,050
Hold my beer.
275
00:13:01,060 --> 00:13:03,528
Uhp, that's also from the Internet.
276
00:13:09,402 --> 00:13:11,561
Hi, I'm Bert of Bert and Sheila.
277
00:13:11,571 --> 00:13:12,895
And I'm Sheila.
278
00:13:12,905 --> 00:13:15,164
All right. Now, before
we bring out Daughtry...
279
00:13:15,174 --> 00:13:18,568
Hurry it up!
Some of us came for Daughtry!
280
00:13:18,578 --> 00:13:21,904
It's our pleasure
to introduce Pawtucket Pat
281
00:13:21,914 --> 00:13:24,874
and his new sidekick Hops McElaney,
282
00:13:24,884 --> 00:13:28,177
the Alcoholic Dog. Come on, y'all!
283
00:13:30,256 --> 00:13:31,914
- Say, Brian...
- "Hops."
284
00:13:31,924 --> 00:13:33,494
- Hops.
- Yes, Peter?
285
00:13:33,504 --> 00:13:34,517
- "Pat."
- Pat.
286
00:13:34,527 --> 00:13:36,852
What were you doing
up on the roof last night?
287
00:13:36,862 --> 00:13:38,354
- Well, Peter...
- "Pat."
288
00:13:38,364 --> 00:13:40,022
Pat. I was up on the roof
289
00:13:40,032 --> 00:13:42,592
because you told me
drinks were on the house.
290
00:13:44,937 --> 00:13:46,262
Nice one, Brian.
291
00:13:46,272 --> 00:13:47,430
- "Hops."
- Hops.
292
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:49,198
Let's hear more from the dog!
293
00:13:49,208 --> 00:13:50,633
Hops! Hops! Hops!
294
00:13:50,643 --> 00:13:53,278
And Daughtry!
295
00:13:56,782 --> 00:13:59,442
I'm sorry, sir, you can't park here.
296
00:13:59,452 --> 00:14:01,444
This spot is reserved
for the brewery mascot.
297
00:14:01,454 --> 00:14:03,245
Yeah, I am the brewery mascot.
298
00:14:03,255 --> 00:14:06,266
No, you're the brewery mascot's
sidekick.
299
00:14:09,929 --> 00:14:12,321
What the hell? I'm the sidekick?
300
00:14:12,331 --> 00:14:14,624
Aw, my life can't get any worse.
301
00:14:14,634 --> 00:14:16,359
Hey, at least
you're not getting attacked
302
00:14:16,369 --> 00:14:18,060
by a goose for no reason.
303
00:14:18,070 --> 00:14:20,262
Hey, you got bread, bro?
Give me that bread, bro.
304
00:14:20,272 --> 00:14:21,597
Come on, bro. Bro.
305
00:14:21,607 --> 00:14:24,204
Help me, Officer Goosefear!
306
00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:33,729
Guys, from now on,
I need to stand this up
307
00:14:33,739 --> 00:14:35,264
in the middle of your table.
308
00:14:35,274 --> 00:14:38,167
Pawww yeah!
309
00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:40,169
'Cause he's a dog.
310
00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:43,072
Man, I hate being a sidekick
to this stupid dog.
311
00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:45,674
- Yeah, I can imagine, Peter.
- I doubt you can, Quagmire.
312
00:14:45,684 --> 00:14:47,109
None of you can.
313
00:14:47,119 --> 00:14:49,044
- Well, I think I understand...
- I'm talking, Glenn.
314
00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:51,347
I doubt any of you can begin
to know what it's like
315
00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:53,015
to ride someone's coattails,
316
00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:55,150
to play second fiddle to some fat idiot,
317
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,253
to constantly be setting up
someone else's...
318
00:14:57,263 --> 00:15:00,022
It's The Joe Show
319
00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:02,491
Starring Joe
320
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:04,660
Doing all sorts of Joe things
321
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:09,173
Not your average Joe,and also he can walk.
322
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,903
Just a footnote
to someone else's narrative.
323
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,271
I tell you, this sucks worse
324
00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:17,373
than being a monkey at Coachella.
325
00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:20,476
Dude, it sucks this year.
There's no good bands.
326
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:23,593
- There's Bananarama.
- There's, like, one good band.
327
00:15:27,672 --> 00:15:30,138
Hey, Brian, you want to go to the park?
328
00:15:30,148 --> 00:15:31,220
The public park?
329
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:33,822
Uh, no, I don't think
that'd be a good idea.
330
00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:34,957
Because of Beaglemania.
331
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:36,659
- What?
- My fame.
332
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:39,862
- That's what they're calling it.
- Who's calling it Beaglemania?
333
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:42,398
Well, you just did. Catching on.
334
00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:44,400
Well, leave it to you to ruin it.
335
00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:47,202
Just like Dasani ruined water.
336
00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:51,006
Hey, guys, so you know
how water tastes like nothing?
337
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:55,484
Well, what if it tasted like
every bottle had a nickel in it?
338
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,253
I want you to sign my chest.
339
00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:06,922
And I want to hawk a loogie
in your face.
340
00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:11,694
I want you to sign my ass.
341
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:14,396
And I want to hawk a loogie
in your face.
342
00:16:16,575 --> 00:16:18,701
I want you to autograph my stomach.
343
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:21,203
Okay, fine, but do me a favor:
don't spit on my friend.
344
00:16:21,213 --> 00:16:22,538
Hey, Brian?
345
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:24,949
Why don't you mind
your own (BLEEP) business?
346
00:16:28,328 --> 00:16:30,695
Oh, God, again with this Beaglemania?
347
00:16:30,705 --> 00:16:32,681
- Where'd you get those T-shirts?
- From Brian.
348
00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:34,583
He says it's really catching on.
349
00:16:34,593 --> 00:16:37,720
- Well, it isn't. It's a joke.
- It's no joke for him, Dad.
350
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:40,623
He even recorded The Bite Album.
351
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:43,359
K-nine. K-nine.
352
00:16:43,369 --> 00:16:47,296
K-nine. K-nine. K-nine.
353
00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:50,109
K-nine. K-nine.
354
00:16:53,641 --> 00:16:55,437
Coming up, uncomfortable pause
355
00:16:55,447 --> 00:16:57,539
as anchor throws to reporter
in the field.
356
00:16:57,549 --> 00:17:01,143
But first, hey, hungover dads,
want to go to a parade?
357
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:03,412
Does that sound like fun
on a Sunday morning?
358
00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:05,180
Not just being worried about your kids,
359
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,282
but everyone else's kids
around you, too?
360
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:09,594
For more, here's Tricia Takanawa.
361
00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:14,723
Apparently we've lost Tricia...
362
00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:17,993
Tom, I'm standing here
outside some public toilets
363
00:17:18,003 --> 00:17:20,496
where dads who are really
hurting will be vomiting
364
00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:23,132
in front of their
still-developing children.
365
00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:26,335
The parade is tomorrow,
but already the giant balloons
366
00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:30,272
are being inflated including
two newcomers this year:
367
00:17:30,282 --> 00:17:32,508
Pepe, the alt-right frog,
368
00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:35,844
and Hops the Dog,
the beloved beer pitchman.
369
00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:38,180
Aw, man. Brian gets his own balloon?
370
00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:40,182
This can't get any worse.
371
00:17:40,192 --> 00:17:43,852
In fact, Hops is so popular
that hundreds of Quahog women
372
00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:46,655
have volunteered to blow up his balloon.
373
00:17:52,337 --> 00:17:55,698
Aw, that's the cashier
at the CVS I like.
374
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:59,034
And here comes the marching band,
375
00:17:59,044 --> 00:18:01,370
led by baton twirler Jane Duncan,
376
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:04,973
whose aunt is famously-thin
actress Bebe Neuwirth.
377
00:18:04,983 --> 00:18:07,109
Jane lists her hobbies as baton twirling
378
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,545
and trying to contact her aunt.
379
00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:11,547
And, look, is that the beer mascot
380
00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:13,048
you've all been waiting for?
381
00:18:13,058 --> 00:18:16,018
That's right, it's Hops the Dog.
382
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:19,054
Stupid Brian. Can't even
wave to the crowd right.
383
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:23,826
Hi! Thanks for coming out. Hi!
384
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,894
Hops! Hops! Hops!
385
00:18:25,904 --> 00:18:29,207
Where's Dad? He's missing this.
386
00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:34,236
Say good-bye, Hops.
387
00:18:34,246 --> 00:18:35,637
Excuse me, sir?
388
00:18:35,647 --> 00:18:37,439
Are you a guest of the hotel?
389
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:40,109
I-I, uh...
I'm-I'm just here for an event.
390
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,344
Oh, are you part
of Sarah's bridal brunch?
391
00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:43,846
Uh, yeah. Yeah.
392
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:46,014
Can't-can't believe
she's heading down the aisle.
393
00:18:46,024 --> 00:18:48,350
Well, they're making speeches
in the Santa Fe Lounge.
394
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:50,528
If you hurry,
you can still get yours in.
395
00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:57,593
Well, Sarah, another turning
point, a fork stuck in the road.
396
00:18:57,603 --> 00:18:58,794
Who is he again?
397
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,896
I think he's that guy from the funeral.
398
00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:02,931
You know, part of me
is glad Sarah met Henry,
399
00:19:02,941 --> 00:19:05,434
because she and I had a pact
that if neither of us
400
00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:07,436
was married by 40, we'd get hitched.
401
00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:10,572
And I think you all know
how that would have gone.
402
00:19:12,284 --> 00:19:14,109
Everybody, get down!
403
00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:23,519
So, to Sarah and Henry.
404
00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:26,155
May they have a long and happy marriage.
405
00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:34,630
Tom, I'm standing here
along the parade route
406
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,299
where the Hops balloon
has just been punctured,
407
00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:39,401
and is now raining helium
408
00:19:39,411 --> 00:19:40,569
Down on the crowd,
409
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:43,605
creating chaos and wreaking havoc.
410
00:19:44,716 --> 00:19:46,341
We have an active shooter!
411
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:48,644
I repeat, we have an active shooter!
412
00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:52,323
I can't stress the seriousness
of this situation enough!
413
00:19:56,895 --> 00:19:58,954
This is a disaster!
414
00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:00,455
Brian, you're fired.
415
00:20:00,465 --> 00:20:02,491
What do you mean? This isn't my fault.
416
00:20:02,501 --> 00:20:06,161
I'm never drinking this beer again.
417
00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:08,514
My voice is impervious to helium.
418
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:21,691
What a mess, huh?
419
00:20:21,701 --> 00:20:24,105
Hey, Peter, sorry all that fame
went to my head.
420
00:20:24,115 --> 00:20:26,083
And I'm sorry I shot your balloon.
421
00:20:26,085 --> 00:20:27,942
How'd you get out of jail so fast?
422
00:20:27,952 --> 00:20:29,611
And I'm sorry II took a hostage...
423
00:20:29,621 --> 00:20:31,613
It's an ongoing situation.
424
00:20:33,625 --> 00:20:36,782
Honey, close that window
and come to bed.
425
00:20:36,792 --> 00:20:38,853
- In a minute.
- Greg Mitchell,
426
00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:42,503
sometimes I feel like
I married you and that window.
427
00:20:42,513 --> 00:20:44,577
The two of you
are more similar than you think.
428
00:20:44,587 --> 00:20:45,952
And how's that?
429
00:20:45,962 --> 00:20:49,297
Well, for one thing,
you're both a real pane.
430
00:20:53,745 --> 00:20:56,413
Window.
431
00:20:57,422 --> 00:21:00,927
- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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