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1
00:00:02,909 --> 00:00:06,244
( theme music playing )
2
00:00:25,397 --> 00:00:28,166
YOU FIND ME SAMPLING ONE OR TWO
OF THE LOCAL VINTAGES,
3
00:00:28,168 --> 00:00:30,802
SO THAT I MAY CHOOSE
A HOUSE WINE FOR MY CAFE.
4
00:00:34,206 --> 00:00:35,707
HMM.
5
00:00:35,709 --> 00:00:37,976
TOO GOOD FOR THE PEASANTS.
6
00:00:39,979 --> 00:00:41,113
( sniffs )
7
00:00:42,148 --> 00:00:43,615
( choking )
8
00:00:48,087 --> 00:00:50,321
TOO BAD FOR THE PEASANTS.
9
00:00:50,323 --> 00:00:52,958
GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE GERMANS.
10
00:00:57,964 --> 00:01:00,298
RENE, HAVE YOU FOUND
A SUITABLE ONE YET?
11
00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:03,035
YES,
THIS ONE WILL DO
VERY NICELY.
12
00:01:03,037 --> 00:01:04,836
GO AND PUT A PINT
OF ANTIFREEZE
13
00:01:04,838 --> 00:01:06,404
IN THAT BARREL.
14
00:01:06,406 --> 00:01:09,107
RENE, YOU ONCE MORE HAVE
A SMILE ON YOUR FACE.
15
00:01:09,109 --> 00:01:10,876
HOW MANY BOTTLES
HAVE YOU TASTED?
16
00:01:10,878 --> 00:01:13,045
OH, NO, IT IS NOT
THE WINE, EDITH.
17
00:01:13,047 --> 00:01:15,580
A GREAT LOAD HAS BEEN
LIFTED FROM MY SHOULDERS.
18
00:01:15,582 --> 00:01:17,849
THE GESTAPO HAVE RECEIVED
BACK THEIR MONEY,
19
00:01:17,851 --> 00:01:20,085
MONSIEUR LeCLERC IS FREE,
AND THEY ARE NO LONGER
20
00:01:20,087 --> 00:01:21,486
SEARCHING FOR
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE.
21
00:01:21,488 --> 00:01:23,288
SO, FOR THE TIME BEING,
WE ARE AT LIBERTY
22
00:01:23,290 --> 00:01:25,924
TO MAKE AS MUCH MONEY
OUT OF THIS WAR AS WE CAN.
23
00:01:25,926 --> 00:01:28,459
I WILL DRINK TO THAT.
24
00:01:28,461 --> 00:01:31,029
RENE,
MICHELLE WANTS YOU
IN THE BACK ROOM.
25
00:01:31,031 --> 00:01:32,964
OH HECK.
26
00:01:32,966 --> 00:01:34,566
I KNEW IT
COULD NOT LAST.
27
00:01:39,271 --> 00:01:42,240
MICHELLE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN THOSE DIRTY OLD OVERALLS?
28
00:01:42,242 --> 00:01:44,710
THE GERMANS
SEEK ME EVERYWHERE.
29
00:01:44,712 --> 00:01:46,411
I AM DISGUISED
AS A BUILDER.
30
00:01:46,413 --> 00:01:48,379
SHOULD THEY FIND ME HERE,
31
00:01:48,381 --> 00:01:50,415
I WILL SAY THAT I AM
REPAIRING YOUR WINDOW.
32
00:01:50,417 --> 00:01:52,550
BUT IT IS NOT BROKEN.
33
00:01:57,056 --> 00:01:58,489
LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY.
34
00:02:00,159 --> 00:02:02,260
WHEN WE STOLE FROM THE GERMANS,
THE LAND MINES,
35
00:02:02,262 --> 00:02:04,830
IN WHICH THE BRITISH AIRMEN
ARE TO ESCAPE,
36
00:02:04,832 --> 00:02:07,365
WE HAD TO REMOVE 1,000 KILOS
OF HIGH EXPLOSIVE.
37
00:02:08,968 --> 00:02:11,436
YOU ARE PROBABLY WONDERING
WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO
THIS EXPLOSIVE?
38
00:02:11,438 --> 00:02:14,773
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
I NEVER GAVE IT A THOUGHT.
39
00:02:14,775 --> 00:02:16,574
THEN I WILL TELL YOU NOW.
40
00:02:16,576 --> 00:02:18,844
IT IS HIDDEN
IN A PUDDING FACTORY.
41
00:02:18,846 --> 00:02:21,847
OH, WHAT A GOOD
HIDING PLACE.
42
00:02:21,849 --> 00:02:24,783
UNFORTUNATELY,
WE HAVE SECRET INFORMATION
43
00:02:24,785 --> 00:02:27,452
THAT THIS FACTORY IS TO BE
COMMANDEERED BY THE GERMANS
44
00:02:27,454 --> 00:02:30,488
FOR THE MANUFACTURE
OF FROZEN STRUDEL,
45
00:02:30,490 --> 00:02:32,958
WHICH IS TO BE SENT IN FOOD
PARCELS TO THE RUSSIAN FRONT.
46
00:02:34,727 --> 00:02:36,527
WE WILL PASS
THIS SECRET INFORMATION
47
00:02:36,529 --> 00:02:38,496
ON TO THE ENGLISH
TONIGHT ON THE RADIO.
48
00:02:38,498 --> 00:02:41,032
WE MUST NOT LET THE EXPLOSIVE
FALL INTO GERMAN HANDS.
49
00:02:41,034 --> 00:02:42,768
WE HAVE THEREFORE ARRANGED
50
00:02:42,770 --> 00:02:44,870
FOR IT TO BE DELIVERED
TO YOUR CAFE.
51
00:02:44,872 --> 00:02:46,671
NOW LISTEN!
52
00:02:46,673 --> 00:02:49,274
WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO HIDE
1,000 KILOS OF HIGH EXPLOSIVE?
53
00:02:49,276 --> 00:02:51,309
IF THE GERMANS FIND
EVEN ONE KILO,
54
00:02:51,311 --> 00:02:52,577
I WILL BE SHOT.
55
00:02:52,579 --> 00:02:54,545
DO NOT WORRY,
IT WILL BE DISGUISED
56
00:02:54,547 --> 00:02:56,047
AS A PRODUCT
OF THE FACTORY.
57
00:02:56,049 --> 00:02:58,316
WHAT?!
HIGH EXPLOSIVE STRUDEL?
58
00:02:59,485 --> 00:03:01,119
DO YOU THINK WE ARE FOOLS?
59
00:03:01,121 --> 00:03:03,822
WE KNOW YOU DO NOT HAVE
A BIG ENOUGH REFRIGERATOR.
60
00:03:03,824 --> 00:03:05,257
THEN HOW
WILL YOU DISGUISE IT?
61
00:03:08,795 --> 00:03:12,463
IT WILL BE DISGUISED
AS 500 CHRISTMAS PUDDINGS.
62
00:03:12,465 --> 00:03:15,066
500? LOOK, ARE YOU
OUT OF YOUR MIND?
63
00:03:15,068 --> 00:03:17,735
IF I AM QUESTIONED, WHAT REASON
AM I SUPPOSED TO GIVE
64
00:03:17,737 --> 00:03:20,105
FOR HAVING 500 CHRISTMAS
PUDDINGS IN MY CAFE?
65
00:03:20,107 --> 00:03:22,908
YOU CAN SAY YOU HAVE
CORNERED THE MARKET.
66
00:03:24,243 --> 00:03:26,344
YOUR IDEAS GET WILDER
AND WILDER.
67
00:03:26,346 --> 00:03:28,546
I WILL NOT DO IT,
AND THAT IS FINAL.
68
00:03:28,548 --> 00:03:30,415
WHAT IS THE MATTER
WITH YOU?
69
00:03:30,417 --> 00:03:33,018
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SIT
IN YOUR COMFORTABLE CAFE,
70
00:03:33,020 --> 00:03:35,753
AND LOOK AFTER A FEW PALTRY
CHRISTMAS PUDDINGS.
71
00:03:37,123 --> 00:03:39,991
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE
A 24-HOUR EMERGENCY PLUMBER,
72
00:03:39,993 --> 00:03:41,893
WITH PUTTY UNDER
YOUR FINGERNAILS,
73
00:03:41,895 --> 00:03:43,829
BURNING YOUR HANDS
ON A BLOW LAMP,
74
00:03:43,831 --> 00:03:46,497
DRINKING TEA
FROM AN OLD PAINT KETTLE,
75
00:03:46,499 --> 00:03:49,034
SITTING ON A PILE OF BRICKS,
EATING A DOORSTEP SANDWICH,
76
00:03:49,036 --> 00:03:51,803
WITH A 12-INCH SPANNER
IN YOUR BACK POCKET?
77
00:03:53,005 --> 00:03:54,940
WHEN IS THE FIRST
DELIVERY?
78
00:03:54,942 --> 00:03:56,474
( Michelle sobs )
79
00:03:56,476 --> 00:03:58,409
RENE, MONSIEUR ALPHONSE
IS ON THE PHONE.
80
00:03:58,411 --> 00:04:00,946
HE WILL BE HERE IN ONE HOUR
TO DISCUSS A PROBLEM.
81
00:04:00,948 --> 00:04:03,514
OH, MORE HEADACHES.
82
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,455
( sighs )
83
00:04:10,457 --> 00:04:12,390
THANK YOU, GRUBER.
84
00:04:12,392 --> 00:04:14,226
THESE ARMY BOOTS
85
00:04:14,228 --> 00:04:16,862
HAVE BEEN PLAYING HELL
WITH MY BUNIONS.
86
00:04:16,864 --> 00:04:19,097
I THINK, COLONEL,
THAT YOU AND I
87
00:04:19,099 --> 00:04:21,933
WERE NOT CUT OUT
FOR THE MILITARY LIFE.
88
00:04:21,935 --> 00:04:23,801
BETWEEN YOU AND ME,
GRUBER,
89
00:04:23,803 --> 00:04:26,071
I PRAY EVERY NIGHT
THAT HITLER
90
00:04:26,073 --> 00:04:27,939
DOESN'T INVADE ENGLAND.
91
00:04:27,941 --> 00:04:30,041
THAT DAMN BRITISH WEATHER,
92
00:04:30,043 --> 00:04:33,345
IT WOULD BE FATAL FOR ME
WITH MY RHEUMATISM.
93
00:04:33,347 --> 00:04:34,812
AND THE FOOD.
94
00:04:34,814 --> 00:04:37,515
BEFORE THE WAR,
I WAS ONE MONTH
95
00:04:37,517 --> 00:04:39,985
IN A SMALL HOTEL
IN CROYDON.
96
00:04:39,987 --> 00:04:42,653
WHAT ABOUT MANCHESTER?
97
00:04:42,655 --> 00:04:44,990
THEY EAT FAGGOTS
FOR BREAKFAST.
98
00:04:46,792 --> 00:04:49,427
IT'S A BARBAROUS COUNTRY.
99
00:04:49,429 --> 00:04:51,529
AND THE ROMANS
PUT UP WITH IT
100
00:04:51,531 --> 00:04:54,099
FOR 1,000 YEARS.
101
00:04:54,101 --> 00:04:55,200
COLONEL,
102
00:04:55,202 --> 00:04:57,735
GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN
IS OUTSIDE.
103
00:04:57,737 --> 00:05:00,571
VON KLINKERHOFFEN?!
DON'T LET HIM IN.
104
00:05:00,573 --> 00:05:02,673
GRUBER,
HIDE THE BOWL.
105
00:05:05,344 --> 00:05:07,178
HIDE THE BOWL.
106
00:05:08,447 --> 00:05:10,782
HIDE THE BOWL!
107
00:05:12,785 --> 00:05:14,286
COLONEL, YOUR FEET.
108
00:05:14,288 --> 00:05:16,321
OH, MY!
MY BOOTS!
109
00:05:18,090 --> 00:05:20,225
KEEP HIM TALKING.
110
00:05:23,896 --> 00:05:26,431
GENERAL
VON KLINKERHOFFEN!
111
00:05:29,402 --> 00:05:30,601
HEIL HITLER.
112
00:05:30,603 --> 00:05:31,736
HEIL HITLER.
113
00:05:32,805 --> 00:05:34,072
WHERE IS THE COLONEL?
114
00:05:34,074 --> 00:05:35,740
THE COLONEL?
115
00:05:36,842 --> 00:05:38,310
COLONEL VON STROHM.
116
00:05:38,312 --> 00:05:41,279
OH, UM...
HE WENT FOR A STROLL.
117
00:05:41,281 --> 00:05:43,315
A STROLL? WHERE?
118
00:05:45,084 --> 00:05:46,784
BEHIND THE CURTAINS.
119
00:05:59,698 --> 00:06:01,399
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
120
00:06:01,401 --> 00:06:03,468
KEEP FIT EXERCISES,
GENERAL.
121
00:06:03,470 --> 00:06:06,537
I AM PREPARING MYSELF
FOR THE INVASION.
122
00:06:06,539 --> 00:06:08,506
WHY ARE YOU NOT
WEARING BOOTS?
123
00:06:08,508 --> 00:06:10,541
I AM TOUGHENING UP MY FEET
124
00:06:10,543 --> 00:06:13,378
FOR THE PEBBLES
ON THE BRITISH BEACHES.
125
00:06:13,380 --> 00:06:16,081
I WILL MAKE SURE YOU ARE
ONE OF THE FIRST TO LAND.
126
00:06:17,450 --> 00:06:19,284
TO SEE AN OLD MAN LIKE YOU
127
00:06:19,286 --> 00:06:21,186
TOTTERING UP
TO THE BARBED WIRE
128
00:06:21,188 --> 00:06:23,388
WILL SET A GOOD EXAMPLE
TO THE LESS SEASONED TROOPS.
129
00:06:24,723 --> 00:06:27,492
NOW TO BUSINESS.
WE HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM.
130
00:06:27,494 --> 00:06:30,061
IT HAS COME TO THE EARS
OF THE FUHRER
131
00:06:30,063 --> 00:06:32,797
THAT TWO OF THE LATEST
MARK VI LAND MINES
132
00:06:32,799 --> 00:06:34,432
ARE MISSING
FROM THIS DISTRICT.
133
00:06:34,434 --> 00:06:37,402
HE HAS, OF COURSE,
FLOWN INTO ONE OF
HIS FAMILIAR RAGES.
134
00:06:37,404 --> 00:06:40,338
HAS HE EATEN THE CARPET?
135
00:06:40,340 --> 00:06:42,607
NO, BUT HE HAS DONE
A LOT OF NO GOOD
136
00:06:42,609 --> 00:06:44,976
TO A REPRODUCTION
OF A BAYEUX TAPESTRY.
137
00:06:44,978 --> 00:06:46,978
DO YOU THINK HE HAS
A SCREW LOOSE?
138
00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:48,946
IN MY OPINION,
139
00:06:48,948 --> 00:06:51,983
A WHOLE MECCANO SET HAS
FALLEN APART IN THERE,
140
00:06:51,985 --> 00:06:54,785
BUT, UH... THAT IS JUST
BETWEEN OURSELVES.
141
00:06:54,787 --> 00:06:57,989
NOW, WHAT STEPS HAVE BEEN TAKEN
TO RECOVER THE STOLEN ARTICLES?
142
00:06:57,991 --> 00:07:00,558
WE HAVE INFORMED
HERR FLICK OF THE GESTAPO.
143
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,194
UNDERCOVER WORK IS
THEIR RESPONSIBILITY.
144
00:07:03,196 --> 00:07:05,030
THIS IS NOT
GOOD ENOUGH.
145
00:07:05,032 --> 00:07:08,099
YOU WILL TAKE CONTROL OF
THIS OPERATION PERSONALLY.
146
00:07:08,101 --> 00:07:09,800
THIS IS YOUR DISTRICT.
147
00:07:09,802 --> 00:07:11,503
YOU ARE THE COMMANDER.
YOU ARE IN CHARGE!
148
00:07:11,505 --> 00:07:13,438
THIS WHOLE
DISGRACEFUL AFFAIR
149
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,273
MUST BE RESOLVED
WITHOUT ANY DELAY,
150
00:07:15,275 --> 00:07:18,076
OTHERWISE, SOMEONE
151
00:07:18,078 --> 00:07:19,877
WILL FIND THEMSELVES
IN VERY HOT WATER.
152
00:07:29,922 --> 00:07:31,889
YES, MEIN FUHRER.
153
00:07:31,891 --> 00:07:33,425
NO, MEIN FUHRER.
154
00:07:33,427 --> 00:07:35,326
OF COURSE,
MEIN FUHRER.
155
00:07:35,328 --> 00:07:37,228
I UNDERSTAND,
MEIN FUHRER.
156
00:07:37,230 --> 00:07:40,098
I AM VERY GRATEFUL
TO YOU, MEIN FUHRER.
157
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:42,233
GOODBYE,
MEIN FUHRER.
158
00:07:42,235 --> 00:07:44,802
WAS THAT THE FUHRER?
159
00:07:45,904 --> 00:07:47,738
NO, IT WAS MY MOTHER.
160
00:07:47,740 --> 00:07:49,707
SHE WAS CHECKING TO SEE
IF MY UNDERWEAR,
161
00:07:49,709 --> 00:07:52,110
WHICH SHE HAS
KNITTED FOR ME,
IS A SNUG FIT.
162
00:07:52,112 --> 00:07:53,144
AND IS IT?
163
00:07:53,146 --> 00:07:54,546
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
164
00:07:55,914 --> 00:07:58,450
NOW, I HAVE HERE
AN IMPORTANT DISPATCH.
165
00:07:58,452 --> 00:08:00,518
BERLIN EXPECTS
THE GESTAPO
166
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,520
TO FIND THE MISSING
LAND MINES.
167
00:08:02,522 --> 00:08:06,124
WE ARE JUST THE BOYS
FOR THE JOB.
168
00:08:06,126 --> 00:08:07,692
IT IS MY OPINION,
169
00:08:07,694 --> 00:08:10,295
THAT MUCH OF THE SUBVERSIVE
ACTIVITY IN NOUVION
170
00:08:10,297 --> 00:08:12,263
IS CONDUCTED AT RENE'S CAFE.
171
00:08:12,265 --> 00:08:14,299
GESTAPO SPIES TELL ME
172
00:08:14,301 --> 00:08:16,534
THAT THERE ARE FREQUENT
MEETINGS IN THE LARDER.
173
00:08:16,536 --> 00:08:18,936
I DO NOT REMEMBER
MENTIONING THIS.
174
00:08:18,938 --> 00:08:21,639
YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY
SNEAKY PEBBLE ON THE BEACH.
175
00:08:23,409 --> 00:08:26,177
WE MUST FIND THE POSITION
FROM WHICH WE CAN OBSERVE
176
00:08:26,179 --> 00:08:28,279
THESE GOINGS ON
IN THE LARDER.
177
00:08:32,485 --> 00:08:34,018
HERE IS A MAP.
178
00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:36,887
HERE IS THE LARDER WINDOW.
179
00:08:36,889 --> 00:08:39,424
HERE, OPPOSITE,
IS AN OBSERVATION POINT.
180
00:08:39,426 --> 00:08:41,226
THE CHURCH TOWER.
181
00:08:41,228 --> 00:08:42,393
CORRECT.
182
00:08:42,395 --> 00:08:44,061
12 FEET FROM THE GROUND
183
00:08:44,063 --> 00:08:46,498
ARE TWO SMALL
UNOBTRUSIVE OPENINGS.
184
00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:49,134
FROM THESE WE CAN SEE
DIRECTLY INTO THE LARDER,
185
00:08:49,136 --> 00:08:50,668
AND THE WINDOWS ABOVE.
186
00:08:50,670 --> 00:08:53,004
OH, YOU ARE A MARVEL,
HERR FLICK.
187
00:08:53,006 --> 00:08:55,573
YOU WILL GO A LONG WAY
WITH YOUR BRAIN.
188
00:08:55,575 --> 00:08:58,510
AND YOU WILL GO NOWHERE
WITH YOURS.
189
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,081
( laughing )
190
00:09:10,556 --> 00:09:12,957
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE
HAS STOPPED OUTSIDE
WITH HIS HEARSE.
191
00:09:12,959 --> 00:09:14,726
OH, I WISH HE WOULD
NOT DO THIS.
192
00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:16,427
MAMMA TAKES ON SO.
193
00:09:18,197 --> 00:09:19,397
MONSIEUR RENE,
194
00:09:19,399 --> 00:09:20,832
QUICK, A COGNAC.
195
00:09:20,834 --> 00:09:21,900
OF COURSE.
196
00:09:21,902 --> 00:09:23,267
YOU WILL NOTE
197
00:09:23,269 --> 00:09:25,269
THAT MY HANDS ARE TREMBLING
198
00:09:25,271 --> 00:09:27,471
AND MY MOUSTACHE
IS TWITCHING.
199
00:09:27,473 --> 00:09:29,107
HERE, GET THAT
DOWN YOU.
200
00:09:29,109 --> 00:09:30,508
NOW WHAT
HAS HAPPENED?
201
00:09:32,011 --> 00:09:33,511
I WAS TRAVELING
THROUGH THE TOWN,
202
00:09:33,513 --> 00:09:36,081
WHEN A COFFIN
FELL OFF MY HEARSE.
203
00:09:37,316 --> 00:09:39,217
I DIED A THOUSAND DEATHS.
204
00:09:39,219 --> 00:09:42,153
WHAT A TERRIBLE THING
TO HAPPEN TO AN UNDERTAKER
205
00:09:42,155 --> 00:09:44,255
OF YOUR REPUTATION
AND STANDING.
206
00:09:44,257 --> 00:09:45,824
IT IS, MADAME.
207
00:09:45,826 --> 00:09:48,593
ESPECIALLY WHEN
THE COFFIN CONTAINS--
208
00:09:48,595 --> 00:09:50,795
58--
209
00:09:50,797 --> 00:09:53,098
EXPLODING
CHRISTMAS PUDDINGS!
210
00:09:55,601 --> 00:09:57,235
OH, MY GOD! W-WELL,
211
00:09:57,237 --> 00:09:59,104
DO NOT LEAVE IT
OUTSIDE MY CAFE.
212
00:09:59,106 --> 00:10:00,772
THANK YOU, MONSIEUR.
213
00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:02,607
I DO NOT INTEND TO.
214
00:10:06,145 --> 00:10:08,012
MAMMA!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
215
00:10:08,014 --> 00:10:10,281
IT IS A FINE,
216
00:10:10,283 --> 00:10:12,083
SUNNY MORNING,
217
00:10:12,085 --> 00:10:13,985
AND I AM FULL OF JOY.
218
00:10:13,987 --> 00:10:16,387
ALSO I AM FED UP,
219
00:10:16,389 --> 00:10:18,489
WAITING FOR THE RESULTS
OF THE TEST
220
00:10:18,491 --> 00:10:20,225
MADE BY THAT DOCTOR.
221
00:10:20,227 --> 00:10:22,994
SO, I THOUGHTI WOULD TAKE--
222
00:10:22,996 --> 00:10:25,864
AARGHH!
223
00:10:25,866 --> 00:10:27,531
IT IS A MISTAKE,
MAMMA.
224
00:10:27,533 --> 00:10:28,800
COME BACK.
225
00:10:30,236 --> 00:10:32,603
I AM NOT HAVING
THAT THING IN HERE.
226
00:10:32,605 --> 00:10:34,806
I HAVE INSTRUCTIONS,
227
00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:37,041
FROM MICHELLE
OF THE RESISTANCE.
228
00:10:37,043 --> 00:10:39,944
SHE SAID NO MATTER WHAT
OPPOSITION I ENCOUNTER,
229
00:10:39,946 --> 00:10:42,513
THAT GOES DOWN
YOUR BACK PASSAGE.
230
00:10:44,917 --> 00:10:46,818
INTO THE CELLAR.
231
00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,887
RENE, THERE ARE
SOME GERMANS APPROACHING.
232
00:10:48,889 --> 00:10:50,554
OH, HECK. QUICK,
TAKE IT THROUGH.
233
00:10:50,556 --> 00:10:52,590
THANK YOU, MONSIEUR.
QUICK, QUICK.
234
00:10:52,592 --> 00:10:54,725
GO QUICKLY,
COME ON, HURRY.
235
00:10:57,129 --> 00:10:58,529
WHAT ABOUT
THE OTHER FIVE?
236
00:10:58,531 --> 00:10:59,730
OTHER FIVE WHAT?
237
00:10:59,732 --> 00:11:01,699
THE OTHER FIVE COFFINS--
238
00:11:02,802 --> 00:11:05,569
WITH 290 EXPLODING
CHRISTMAS PUDDINGS?
239
00:11:05,571 --> 00:11:06,737
OH, NO, NO.
240
00:11:06,739 --> 00:11:08,306
YOU ARE NOT BRINGING
THEM IN HERE.
241
00:11:08,308 --> 00:11:09,774
NO. SAY THERE HAS
BEEN A PLAGUE.
242
00:11:09,776 --> 00:11:10,975
GO AND BURY THEM
SOMEWHERE.
243
00:11:10,977 --> 00:11:14,378
I CANNOT BURY ANYTHING
WITHOUT A CERTIFICATE.
244
00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:16,580
WELL, GET MICHELLE
TO SHOOT SOME GERMANS.
245
00:11:16,582 --> 00:11:18,349
USE YOUR IMAGINATION,
246
00:11:18,351 --> 00:11:19,717
BUT THEY ARE NOT
COMING IN HERE.
247
00:11:19,719 --> 00:11:21,352
AHA, SHOOT SOME GERMANS.
248
00:11:32,998 --> 00:11:35,166
GO AWAY!
249
00:11:39,238 --> 00:11:41,239
TELL THE DOCTOR
250
00:11:41,241 --> 00:11:43,674
I WANT A SECOND OPINION.
251
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:51,082
QUICK,
BEFORE SHE HITS
ONE OF THE COFFINS.
252
00:11:56,588 --> 00:11:58,323
HERR FLICK?
253
00:11:58,325 --> 00:12:00,892
HERR FLICK?
WHERE ARE YOU?
254
00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:03,761
I AM BEHIND THE SCREEN,WITH VON SMALLHAUSEN.
255
00:12:03,763 --> 00:12:06,898
MAY ONE INQUIRE
TO WHAT YOU ARE UP?
256
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,766
WE HAVE REMOVEDOUR CLOTHES
257
00:12:08,768 --> 00:12:11,069
IN ORDER TO FOLLOWTHE FUHRER'S INSTRUCTIONS.
258
00:12:11,071 --> 00:12:13,537
I SEE.
259
00:12:13,539 --> 00:12:15,273
WHAT EXACTLY DID HE
TELL YOU TO DO?
260
00:12:15,275 --> 00:12:17,275
WE HAVE DISGUISED OURSELVES
261
00:12:17,277 --> 00:12:18,709
IN ORDER TO MERGE
262
00:12:18,711 --> 00:12:20,845
INTO AN ECCLESIASTICALBACKGROUND.
263
00:12:25,851 --> 00:12:28,219
CRUMBS, WHAT
A STUNNING DISGUISE.
264
00:12:28,221 --> 00:12:29,820
IF I MAY SAY SO,
265
00:12:29,822 --> 00:12:31,555
THE HOMEMADE
OPEN-TOED SANDALS
266
00:12:31,557 --> 00:12:33,157
ARE PARTICULARLY
EFFECTIVE.
267
00:12:33,159 --> 00:12:36,394
I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT
I HAVE VERY VIRILE FEET.
268
00:12:38,830 --> 00:12:40,131
VON SMALLHAUSEN?
269
00:12:45,371 --> 00:12:47,471
WHY HAVE YOU, HANGING
FROM YOUR HEAD, A HALO?
270
00:12:47,473 --> 00:12:50,341
IT WAS PART OF THE SET.
271
00:12:50,343 --> 00:12:51,709
REMOVE IT.
272
00:12:55,514 --> 00:12:58,149
HELGA, HERE ARE
YOUR INSTRUCTIONS.
273
00:12:58,151 --> 00:13:00,018
YOU WILL BRING
TO THE CHURCH TOWER
274
00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:01,286
COFFEE AND SANDWICHES,
275
00:13:01,288 --> 00:13:02,921
TO SUSTAIN US
DURING OUR VIGIL.
276
00:13:02,923 --> 00:13:05,323
WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING
IN THE CHURCH TOWER?
277
00:13:05,325 --> 00:13:06,590
SNOOPING.
278
00:13:06,592 --> 00:13:08,226
VERY WELL,
HERR FLICK.
279
00:13:08,228 --> 00:13:09,727
I MUST SAY,
280
00:13:09,729 --> 00:13:11,296
I FIND THE LENGTHS
TO WHICH YOU WILL GO
281
00:13:11,298 --> 00:13:13,731
TO ACHIEVE YOUR ENDS
MOST EXCITING.
282
00:13:13,733 --> 00:13:15,166
THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE.
283
00:13:15,168 --> 00:13:17,302
MAY I KISS YOU?
284
00:13:17,304 --> 00:13:18,869
NO.
285
00:13:18,871 --> 00:13:20,838
THE RULES OF THE ORDER
TO WHICH I BELONG,
286
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,574
FORBID THE KISSING
OF GIRLS.
287
00:13:23,576 --> 00:13:25,276
DO THEY FORBID
ANYTHING ELSE?
288
00:13:26,711 --> 00:13:29,713
YES, MONKS UNDER 5'3"
289
00:13:29,715 --> 00:13:31,149
ARE NOT PERMITTED
TO SPEAK.
290
00:13:34,753 --> 00:13:37,188
MAY I ASK A QUESTION?
291
00:13:41,159 --> 00:13:43,194
RENE, MAKE
THE ANNOUNCEMENT.
292
00:13:43,196 --> 00:13:44,461
IT IS TIME
FOR ME TO SING.
293
00:13:44,463 --> 00:13:46,964
HOW QUICKLY
IT COMES ROUND.
294
00:13:49,067 --> 00:13:51,035
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
295
00:13:51,037 --> 00:13:52,770
IT IS CABARET TIME
AT CAFE RENE.
296
00:13:52,772 --> 00:13:54,038
AND HERE,
297
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,672
AS YOU MIGHT EXPECT,
298
00:13:55,674 --> 00:13:58,075
IS YOUR OWN,
YOUR VERY OWN,
299
00:13:58,077 --> 00:14:01,145
NIGHTINGALE OF NOUVION,
MADAME EDITH.
300
00:14:01,147 --> 00:14:02,679
( all groaning )
301
00:14:04,549 --> 00:14:06,450
THANK YOU FOR THAT
WARM WELCOME.
302
00:14:06,452 --> 00:14:09,253
TODAY, I WOULD LIKE
TO SING FOR YOU,
303
00:14:09,255 --> 00:14:12,356
ONE OF MY FAVORITES--
AND I HOPE, ONE OF YOURS.
304
00:14:12,358 --> 00:14:14,625
"BOOM, WHY DID
MY HEART GO BOOM?"
305
00:14:14,627 --> 00:14:16,160
THANK YOU.
306
00:14:16,162 --> 00:14:18,095
WITH ALL THESE EXPLODING
CHRISTMAS PUDDINGS
IN THE CELLAR,
307
00:14:18,097 --> 00:14:19,997
I WISH SHE
WOULD NOT SING THIS.
308
00:14:21,033 --> 00:14:22,666
( loudly )
♪ BOOM! ♪
309
00:14:22,668 --> 00:14:25,136
♪ WHY DID MY HEART GO BOOM? ♪
310
00:14:25,138 --> 00:14:27,905
♪ ME AND MY HEART
GO BOOM ♪
311
00:14:27,907 --> 00:14:29,740
♪ BOOM-TIDDY-BOOM ♪
312
00:14:29,742 --> 00:14:31,875
♪ 'CAUSE I FOUND YOU ♪
313
00:14:33,778 --> 00:14:35,146
♪ BOOM... ♪
314
00:14:35,148 --> 00:14:37,581
EDITH, YOU'VE
CLEARED THE ROOM.
315
00:14:37,583 --> 00:14:39,783
♪ I CAN SEE LOVE IN BLOOM ♪
316
00:14:39,785 --> 00:14:41,718
♪ BOOM-TIDDY-BOOM ♪
317
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,887
♪ ALL AROUND YOU... ♪
318
00:14:43,889 --> 00:14:47,191
ARGH, PEASANTS!
319
00:14:47,193 --> 00:14:48,859
EDITH,
DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF.
320
00:14:48,861 --> 00:14:50,894
YOU DID NOT HAVE
THE RIGHT PIANIST.
321
00:14:50,896 --> 00:14:52,363
YOU ARE RIGHT.
322
00:14:53,765 --> 00:14:55,866
YOU ARE SACKED!
323
00:14:55,868 --> 00:14:57,768
YOU ARE INCOMPETENT!
324
00:14:57,770 --> 00:15:00,204
NEVER AGAIN WILL
YOU PLAY IN NOUVION!
325
00:15:00,206 --> 00:15:01,439
OUT!
326
00:15:04,943 --> 00:15:06,677
OH, I MUST LIE DOWN.
327
00:15:06,679 --> 00:15:08,179
WHERE ARE
MY SMELLING SALTS?
328
00:15:08,181 --> 00:15:10,414
WE HAVE RUN OUT,
MADAME EDITH.
329
00:15:10,416 --> 00:15:12,116
STUFF A MOTHBALL
UP EACH NOSTRIL
330
00:15:12,118 --> 00:15:13,517
AND BREATHE DEEPLY.
331
00:15:13,519 --> 00:15:15,586
MOTHBALL?
332
00:15:17,822 --> 00:15:20,291
RENE, WE ARE
ALONE AT LAST.
333
00:15:20,293 --> 00:15:21,492
YVETTE.
334
00:15:21,494 --> 00:15:23,094
OH-HH!
335
00:15:23,096 --> 00:15:25,096
HOLD ME TIGHTLY.
336
00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:27,898
IF THOSE PUDDINGS
IN THE CELLAR EXPLODE,
337
00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:30,167
I WANT TO BE
IN YOUR ARMS.
338
00:15:30,169 --> 00:15:31,402
OF COURSE.
339
00:15:31,404 --> 00:15:33,604
IT IS A LONG TIME SINCE
WE WERE OUT TOGETHER.
340
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:36,673
GOOD MOANING.
341
00:15:38,843 --> 00:15:41,445
OH, I SEE YOU ARE HAVING
A CURSE AND KIDDLE.
342
00:15:43,215 --> 00:15:46,083
I WILL TURN A BLONDE EYE.
343
00:15:46,085 --> 00:15:47,985
WHAT IS IT
THAT YOU WANT?
344
00:15:47,987 --> 00:15:49,953
I HAVE FOR YOU
345
00:15:49,955 --> 00:15:52,756
TWO EXPLEEDING
CHRISTMAS PODDINGS.
346
00:15:52,758 --> 00:15:55,959
I SUPPOSE THEY ARE DOWN
YOUR TROUSERS AS USUAL?
347
00:15:55,961 --> 00:15:58,662
DO NOT BE REDOCULOUS.
348
00:16:05,337 --> 00:16:07,338
MIND THE HILLY.
349
00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:09,840
IT IS VERY PROCKERLY.
350
00:16:09,842 --> 00:16:11,509
AND DO NOT DRIP THEM,
351
00:16:11,511 --> 00:16:14,545
OTHERWISE THEY WILL
GO OFF, BONG.
352
00:16:14,547 --> 00:16:16,947
ALL RIGHT. WHAT AM I
SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?
353
00:16:16,949 --> 00:16:18,549
WE COULD SAY
354
00:16:18,551 --> 00:16:20,518
WE ARE MEMBERS
OF A PUDDING CLUB.
355
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,788
DO NOT MENTION MY NAME
IN CONNECTION WITH IT.
356
00:16:25,890 --> 00:16:28,592
I MUST GO ABOUT
MY BOSNESS.
357
00:16:28,594 --> 00:16:31,495
I WILL USE
THE BACK WEE.
358
00:16:34,766 --> 00:16:37,268
RENE! OH-HHH!
359
00:16:37,270 --> 00:16:39,603
LOOK OUT,
THE WIFE IS COMING.
360
00:16:39,605 --> 00:16:41,738
OH, RENE,
361
00:16:41,740 --> 00:16:44,075
THE MOTHBALLS
DID THE TRICK.
362
00:16:44,077 --> 00:16:46,910
I AM FEELING
QUITE CALM AGAIN.
363
00:16:46,912 --> 00:16:48,879
RENE, THERE IS
A GIRL OUTSIDE
364
00:16:48,881 --> 00:16:51,148
WHO DEMANDS TO SEE YOU,
WITHOUT DELAY.
365
00:16:51,150 --> 00:16:52,383
WHAT DOES SHE WANT?
366
00:16:52,385 --> 00:16:54,151
SHE SAYS IT IS
A PRIVATE MATTER
367
00:16:54,153 --> 00:16:55,586
THAT ONLY CONCERNS RENE.
368
00:16:56,788 --> 00:16:58,522
RENE, WHAT IS GOING ON?
369
00:16:58,524 --> 00:17:00,124
I HAVE NO IDEA, EDITH.
370
00:17:04,696 --> 00:17:07,064
I AM GLAD YOU ARE OPEN.
371
00:17:07,066 --> 00:17:09,133
I DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE THIS
ON YOUR DOORSTEP.
372
00:17:11,369 --> 00:17:12,669
I DENY--
373
00:17:13,972 --> 00:17:17,174
I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS GIRL
BEFORE IN MY LIFE.
374
00:17:17,176 --> 00:17:18,775
I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE.
375
00:17:18,777 --> 00:17:20,444
HOW MANY
ARE THERE?
376
00:17:20,446 --> 00:17:22,713
SIX MORE GIRLS ARE OUTSIDE.
377
00:17:22,715 --> 00:17:24,615
- Rene: SIX?!
- AARGHH!
378
00:17:30,822 --> 00:17:33,190
AND THERE IS A BUSLOAD
COMING AT 7:00.
379
00:17:33,192 --> 00:17:34,791
AARGHH!
380
00:17:34,793 --> 00:17:37,261
I MUST PUT UP MY NOSE,
MORE MOTHBALLS.
381
00:17:38,663 --> 00:17:40,998
RENE, WHAT HAVE
YOU BEEN DOING?
382
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,767
THIS HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH ME.
383
00:17:43,769 --> 00:17:45,936
TWO EXPLODING
CHRISTMAS PUDDINGS.
384
00:17:49,707 --> 00:17:51,775
CHRISTMAS PUDDINGS!
385
00:17:51,777 --> 00:17:54,077
♪ GOD REST YE,
MERRY GENTLEMEN... ♪
386
00:17:54,079 --> 00:17:55,779
GET OUT!
387
00:18:06,792 --> 00:18:08,426
I SAY, FAIRFAX,
I REALLY THINK
388
00:18:08,428 --> 00:18:09,660
I'M GETTING
THE HANG OF THIS.
389
00:18:09,662 --> 00:18:11,462
THERE IS ONLY
ONE PROBLEM.
390
00:18:11,464 --> 00:18:14,164
AFTER SIX HOURS
COOPED UP IN THERE,
391
00:18:14,166 --> 00:18:16,367
THE OLD LEGS
WON'T STRAIGHTEN OUT.
392
00:18:16,369 --> 00:18:18,336
I KNOW.
MINE ARE THE SAME.
393
00:18:18,338 --> 00:18:20,371
IS EVERYTHING
TICKETY-BOO, CHAPS?
394
00:18:20,373 --> 00:18:22,373
WELL, WE'VE MANAGED
395
00:18:22,375 --> 00:18:25,543
TO UNSCREW OUR NUTS
IN 12 SECONDS.
396
00:18:26,678 --> 00:18:28,412
THAT MEANS 10 SECONDS
TO PUT ON THE PARACHUTE,
397
00:18:28,414 --> 00:18:29,613
AND PULL THE THING.
398
00:18:29,615 --> 00:18:31,215
GOOD SHOW!
399
00:18:31,217 --> 00:18:32,583
YOU'RE LEAVING TONIGHT.
400
00:18:32,585 --> 00:18:33,984
OH, WIZARD.
401
00:18:33,986 --> 00:18:37,054
WHERE ARE THE GERMANS ACTUALLY
GONNA DROP THE LAND MINES?
402
00:18:37,056 --> 00:18:38,489
WELL, WE CAN'T BE SURE,
403
00:18:38,491 --> 00:18:40,290
BUT THEY'RE BOMBING LONDON
ALL THE TIME.
404
00:18:40,292 --> 00:18:42,960
IF THEY DROP YOU OVER
WIMBLEDON, FAIRFAX,
405
00:18:42,962 --> 00:18:45,295
YOU COULD HAIL A CAB
AND BE HOME FOR SUPPER.
406
00:18:46,398 --> 00:18:48,399
NOW THIS IS
THE GENERAL PLAN:
407
00:18:48,401 --> 00:18:50,368
WE WILL SCREW YOU DOWN
INTO THESE THINGS,
408
00:18:50,370 --> 00:18:52,336
AND THEN UNDER COVER
OF DARKNESS,
409
00:18:52,338 --> 00:18:53,771
YOU WILL BE LOADED
ONTO A LORRY,
410
00:18:53,773 --> 00:18:55,406
AND TRANSPORTED
TO A WAREHOUSE.
411
00:18:55,408 --> 00:18:58,409
FROM THERE, YOU WILL BE HUNG
UNDER A GERMAN BOMBER
412
00:18:58,411 --> 00:18:59,510
AND THEN OFF YOU GO.
413
00:19:01,045 --> 00:19:02,913
WHAT HAPPENS
IF THE WEATHER'S BAD,
414
00:19:02,915 --> 00:19:04,582
AND THEY DON'T GO
FOR A FEW DAYS?
415
00:19:04,584 --> 00:19:06,350
OUR PEOPLE WILL POP IN
FROM TIME TO TIME,
416
00:19:06,352 --> 00:19:08,051
AND GIVE YOU
SANDWICHES AND COFFEE.
417
00:19:08,053 --> 00:19:10,454
IT ALL SOUNDS
A BIT HAREBRAINED.
418
00:19:10,456 --> 00:19:12,656
ON THE OTHER HAND,
IT'LL MAKE
419
00:19:12,658 --> 00:19:14,759
A JOLLY GOOD CHAPTER
IN MY BOOK.
420
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:23,066
ARE THEY
STILL HERE?
421
00:19:23,068 --> 00:19:24,735
I THOUGHT THEY
WOULD BE GONE BY NOW.
422
00:19:24,737 --> 00:19:26,570
THEY ARE
LEAVING TONIGHT.
423
00:19:26,572 --> 00:19:28,539
MEANWHILE, YOU MUST
HIDE THEM IN YOUR CELLAR.
424
00:19:28,541 --> 00:19:31,809
IT IS FULL
OF YOUR EXPLODING
CHRISTMAS PUDDINGS.
425
00:19:31,811 --> 00:19:33,444
WHAT ARE THEY
TALKING ABOUT?
426
00:19:33,446 --> 00:19:35,112
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
THE LANGUAGE, I'M AFRAID.
427
00:19:35,114 --> 00:19:37,548
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
EXPLODING CHRISTMAS PUDDINGS.
428
00:19:37,550 --> 00:19:39,216
ASK A SILLY QUESTION
429
00:19:39,218 --> 00:19:41,051
AND YOU GET
A SILLY ANSWER.
430
00:19:41,053 --> 00:19:42,586
NOW LOOK, MICHELLE,
ONCE AND FOR ALL,
431
00:19:42,588 --> 00:19:44,187
I WANT
NO PART OF THIS.
432
00:19:44,189 --> 00:19:46,590
WOULD YOU PREFER
A BULLET IN YOUR BACK?
433
00:19:47,726 --> 00:19:50,428
OH, VERY WELL.
434
00:19:50,430 --> 00:19:51,729
COME ALONG, CHAPS.
435
00:19:51,731 --> 00:19:54,965
KEEP CALM AND DO YOUR BEST
TO LOOK LIKE FRENCH PEASANTS.
436
00:19:54,967 --> 00:19:56,667
ROGER.
437
00:20:04,543 --> 00:20:07,010
OH, MY GOD.
438
00:20:11,616 --> 00:20:13,517
WHY ARE YOU SHIVERING,
VON SMALLHAUSEN?
439
00:20:14,719 --> 00:20:17,287
THESE HABITS ARE
VERY DRAFTY, HERR FLICK.
440
00:20:17,289 --> 00:20:19,857
WE SHOULD HAVE WORN
LONG WINTER UNDERPANTS.
441
00:20:19,859 --> 00:20:22,927
THE GESTAPO HANDBOOK
ON CHURCH CUSTOMS
442
00:20:22,929 --> 00:20:25,896
SAYS THAT MONKS
DO NOT WEAR UNDERWEAR.
443
00:20:25,898 --> 00:20:27,230
HAVE YOU FOUND A LADDER?
444
00:20:27,232 --> 00:20:28,833
NO, HERR FLICK.
445
00:20:28,835 --> 00:20:31,635
NOTHING THAT WOULD REACH
THOSE LITTLE WINDOWS UP THERE.
446
00:20:31,637 --> 00:20:33,471
YOU INCOMPETENT MONK!
447
00:20:33,473 --> 00:20:35,506
BUT WE WILL NOT
BE THWARTED.
448
00:20:35,508 --> 00:20:37,942
LET US PUT ON
OUR MAGNIFYING HATS.
449
00:20:47,619 --> 00:20:49,419
WAIT WHILE I ADJUST MINE
450
00:20:49,421 --> 00:20:51,154
TO MY WEAK RIGHT EYE.
451
00:20:54,526 --> 00:20:56,560
WE WILL CLIMB
THESE ROPES.
452
00:21:02,601 --> 00:21:03,901
( bell tolls )
453
00:21:03,903 --> 00:21:05,268
AARGHH!
454
00:21:05,270 --> 00:21:06,937
- ( second bell tolls )
- AARGHH!
455
00:21:07,873 --> 00:21:10,307
( ringing )
456
00:21:13,845 --> 00:21:16,714
THE BELLS, THE BELLS!
457
00:21:27,025 --> 00:21:28,592
CAN YOU SEE ANYTHING?
458
00:21:30,128 --> 00:21:32,229
NOT FOR LONG.
459
00:21:40,772 --> 00:21:42,406
HERR FLICK!
460
00:21:42,408 --> 00:21:44,207
IS THAT YOU
UP THERE
461
00:21:44,209 --> 00:21:45,976
IN THE DARKNESS
OF THE BELFRY?
462
00:21:45,978 --> 00:21:48,646
Flick:
I AM SUSPENDEDBY THE CLAPPERS.
463
00:21:52,918 --> 00:21:55,586
THE RISKS YOU TAKE
FOR THE FATHERLAND.
464
00:21:56,821 --> 00:21:59,523
CLIMB OUT
ONTO THE BEAM,
HERR FLICK.
465
00:21:59,525 --> 00:22:02,125
THE ROPE
IS ENTANGLED.
466
00:22:03,161 --> 00:22:05,763
GIVE IT
A LITTLE JERK.
467
00:22:05,765 --> 00:22:07,130
( screaming )
468
00:22:09,267 --> 00:22:11,368
( loud clanging )
469
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,815
VON SMALLHAUSEN,
ARE YOU IN THERE?
470
00:22:24,817 --> 00:22:26,717
SPEAK TO ME.
471
00:22:26,719 --> 00:22:28,418
( clanking within )
472
00:22:30,288 --> 00:22:33,356
( theme music playing )
44263
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