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1
00:00:02,094 --> 00:00:05,229
"Last Man Standing" is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,343 --> 00:00:06,127
Hey.
3
00:00:06,161 --> 00:00:07,511
Hey, dinner's almost ready.
4
00:00:07,546 --> 00:00:08,629
Oh, great. What is it?
5
00:00:08,913 --> 00:00:11,382
My four bacon and bean soup.
6
00:00:11,666 --> 00:00:14,935
I thought you made
a three-bacon-bean soup.
7
00:00:14,969 --> 00:00:18,222
I found another bacon...
jowl.
8
00:00:18,273 --> 00:00:19,940
Hope you didn't make
too much...
9
00:00:19,974 --> 00:00:22,226
Mandy's at school and Eve is
going out with her boyfriend.
10
00:00:24,463 --> 00:00:26,113
And that would be
the boyfriend.
11
00:00:27,399 --> 00:00:28,599
Better get used to that noise.
12
00:00:28,617 --> 00:00:30,497
You're gonna be hearing
plenty of that later on.
13
00:00:33,355 --> 00:00:34,372
Hey, honey.
14
00:00:34,406 --> 00:00:35,522
Going out! Be back early!
Love you! Bye!
15
00:00:35,540 --> 00:00:36,907
Wait! Wait! Wait!
Hey, wa... hey!
16
00:00:38,784 --> 00:00:40,269
Geez.
17
00:00:40,295 --> 00:00:42,963
You know, I have never
seen her move so fast.
18
00:00:42,998 --> 00:00:44,582
Well, maybe he doesn't
stop the car.
19
00:00:44,633 --> 00:00:45,866
She needs a running start.
20
00:00:47,285 --> 00:00:51,771
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
21
00:00:54,642 --> 00:00:56,677
Hey. What have you been doing
up there?
22
00:00:56,761 --> 00:00:59,813
Honey, only ask questions that
you really want the answers to.
23
00:01:01,199 --> 00:01:03,100
Is Eve home from her date yet?
24
00:01:03,134 --> 00:01:07,738
Only ask questions you really
want the answers to.
25
00:01:07,805 --> 00:01:09,773
You know what, honey?
26
00:01:09,807 --> 00:01:12,109
I like that Eve
has a real boyfriend.
27
00:01:12,143 --> 00:01:13,994
How come he never
comes to the door?
28
00:01:14,029 --> 00:01:16,530
Just sits out there
in the street, honks his horn.
29
00:01:16,581 --> 00:01:18,916
All the neighbors are mad
at him, even Larabee.
30
00:01:18,950 --> 00:01:20,451
Although...
That part I like.
31
00:01:22,053 --> 00:01:23,487
I just got to let this go.
32
00:01:23,505 --> 00:01:25,956
By next week, she'll be
onto something else.
33
00:01:25,990 --> 00:01:28,926
Mm, oh, I think she'll still be
interested in boys.
34
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:31,828
Yeah, but she'll be doing that
Junior ROTC skills competition,
35
00:01:31,846 --> 00:01:33,631
chasing around boys
with a bayonet.
36
00:01:33,665 --> 00:01:36,050
That's what I wish
she would focus less on,
37
00:01:36,101 --> 00:01:37,735
all this Junior ROTC stuff.
38
00:01:37,769 --> 00:01:40,554
Yeah. It taught her discipline,
might get a free ride to college.
39
00:01:40,605 --> 00:01:42,640
But you're right.
40
00:01:42,674 --> 00:01:46,110
She should concentrate more
on video games and weed.
41
00:01:46,144 --> 00:01:49,229
I... I guess what I really like
about Eve dating
42
00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,316
is it finally gives the two
of us something to bond over.
43
00:01:52,350 --> 00:01:54,485
Is this your way of telling me
that you're seeing somebody else?
44
00:01:54,519 --> 00:01:58,155
Like I'd ever tell you
about Roy.
45
00:01:58,189 --> 00:01:59,657
Ohh!
46
00:01:59,691 --> 00:02:02,376
Oh, just I'm talking about
boyfriends in general.
47
00:02:02,410 --> 00:02:05,579
Now Eve and I, we can have
heart-to-hearts about romance
48
00:02:05,613 --> 00:02:07,531
and what it means
to be a woman.
49
00:02:07,549 --> 00:02:08,916
Yeah, yeah.
50
00:02:08,967 --> 00:02:10,501
Those conversations have gone
well with the other girls,
51
00:02:10,535 --> 00:02:11,969
- haven't they?
- Yeah.
52
00:02:12,003 --> 00:02:15,389
Mandy being Mandy and Kris had
a baby in high school.
53
00:02:15,423 --> 00:02:16,873
Oh, come on!
54
00:02:16,891 --> 00:02:19,059
Best-case scenario,
this thing fizzles out.
55
00:02:19,094 --> 00:02:21,211
Even better yet,
the boy breaks her heart
56
00:02:21,229 --> 00:02:22,513
and Eve never dates again.
57
00:02:22,547 --> 00:02:24,348
I'll be up in a few minutes.
58
00:02:24,382 --> 00:02:26,049
Yeah,
I'm still full from dinner,
59
00:02:26,067 --> 00:02:27,434
so don't expect too much.
60
00:02:27,485 --> 00:02:31,054
I ate the soup, too,
so you're off the hook.
61
00:02:32,774 --> 00:02:35,109
Oh, hey, Eve.
62
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:36,593
Good night, Mom!
Got a lot of homework to do!
63
00:02:36,628 --> 00:02:37,811
Wait!
H-how was the date?
64
00:02:37,846 --> 00:02:39,086
Don't you want
to talk about it?
65
00:02:39,114 --> 00:02:40,164
Uh, yeah, I do.
66
00:02:40,198 --> 00:02:41,532
I was just gonna go call Cammy.
67
00:02:41,566 --> 00:02:43,834
Oh, come on. Come on.
Get over here. Come on.
68
00:02:43,868 --> 00:02:46,086
We need to catch up.
Just us girls. Come here.
69
00:02:46,121 --> 00:02:48,255
So, I just...
I just want to check in.
70
00:02:48,289 --> 00:02:50,958
I want to know that everything's
going all right.
71
00:02:51,009 --> 00:02:52,760
- Yeah. It's fine.
- Yeah?
72
00:02:52,794 --> 00:02:54,378
Good. Good.
73
00:02:54,412 --> 00:02:57,164
Oh, you know, I remember
when I first started dating...
74
00:02:57,198 --> 00:02:59,683
uh, what? Why?
Why are you making a face?
75
00:02:59,718 --> 00:03:03,087
Please don't tell me some story
that ends with you and a guy
76
00:03:03,121 --> 00:03:04,972
in the rumble seat of his car.
77
00:03:05,023 --> 00:03:06,640
Rumble seat?
78
00:03:06,691 --> 00:03:08,976
Oh, you're very funny.
Yeah, because I'm 100?
79
00:03:09,027 --> 00:03:10,110
Right, okay.
80
00:03:10,145 --> 00:03:12,062
Wait, you know what?
81
00:03:12,097 --> 00:03:14,448
I actually did date a guy
with a rumble seat.
82
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:17,951
Well, on the plus side,
you look good for 100.
83
00:03:17,986 --> 00:03:19,436
No, wait.
84
00:03:19,454 --> 00:03:22,573
He was into antique cars.
85
00:03:22,607 --> 00:03:25,175
And porcelain dolls.
86
00:03:25,210 --> 00:03:27,294
And you let him get away.
Bummer.
87
00:03:27,328 --> 00:03:28,378
Good talk, Mom.
88
00:03:28,413 --> 00:03:29,997
Wait, Evie, honey.
Listen. I just...
89
00:03:30,048 --> 00:03:31,281
honey, I just...
90
00:03:31,299 --> 00:03:32,883
I want you to know
that you can tell me anything.
91
00:03:32,917 --> 00:03:34,752
Okay? You're...
you're almost a woman now.
92
00:03:34,786 --> 00:03:36,086
The face. Again.
93
00:03:36,121 --> 00:03:38,338
The face.
Why are you making the face?
94
00:03:38,389 --> 00:03:39,623
Okay, listen.
95
00:03:39,641 --> 00:03:41,842
Mom, there is something
I've been wanting to talk about,
96
00:03:41,843 --> 00:03:44,178
but I just don't want
Mandy and Kristin to know
97
00:03:44,212 --> 00:03:46,146
'cause they'll just tease me
about it.
98
00:03:46,181 --> 00:03:48,148
Don't worry.
Don't you worry, honey.
99
00:03:48,233 --> 00:03:50,300
Consider this
the first of many secrets
100
00:03:50,318 --> 00:03:52,019
you and I will share together.
101
00:04:03,364 --> 00:04:05,115
Eve just got home
from her date,
102
00:04:05,150 --> 00:04:07,668
and I have got the scoop
on Justin.
103
00:04:07,702 --> 00:04:10,954
You know, a lot of people sing
the praises of Shakespeare,
104
00:04:10,989 --> 00:04:13,841
but I don't think they ever read
a Bob Ludlum book.
105
00:04:13,875 --> 00:04:16,226
Don't you want to hear
about Eve?
106
00:04:16,261 --> 00:04:17,778
Not particularly.
107
00:04:17,812 --> 00:04:21,431
Well, she and I just had
a nice little chat,
108
00:04:21,466 --> 00:04:24,218
the kind that only mothers
and daughters have.
109
00:04:25,169 --> 00:04:30,641
I found out some very
interesting informaci�n-e.
110
00:04:30,675 --> 00:04:33,343
Unless Matt Damon
is playing you or Eve
111
00:04:33,361 --> 00:04:36,280
in a movie about
that conversation, I pass.
112
00:04:36,314 --> 00:04:39,733
Yep, I think that you'll be
happy to know
113
00:04:39,784 --> 00:04:43,120
that their relationship
seems very innocent.
114
00:04:43,154 --> 00:04:46,657
And Eve told me that Justin
is super religious.
115
00:04:46,691 --> 00:04:47,908
What do you mean,
116
00:04:47,959 --> 00:04:51,061
like he goes to church
even on Bronco Sunday?
117
00:04:51,095 --> 00:04:52,496
Not only that,
118
00:04:52,530 --> 00:04:55,632
but he signed a "purity pledge"
at his church,
119
00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:57,751
which means that he won't fool
around until after he's married.
120
00:04:57,802 --> 00:04:59,586
I-I'm aware
of what that means.
121
00:04:59,637 --> 00:05:01,421
Come on, Mike.
122
00:05:01,472 --> 00:05:03,473
I mean, Junior ROTC,
purity pledge.
123
00:05:03,508 --> 00:05:05,843
This guy,
he's like the perfect boyfriend.
124
00:05:05,877 --> 00:05:07,094
He's no Roy.
125
00:05:09,046 --> 00:05:11,815
I appreciate the fact the kid
goes to church on Sunday,
126
00:05:11,850 --> 00:05:13,100
but so did I.
127
00:05:13,151 --> 00:05:15,152
I'm worried about the other
six days of the week.
128
00:05:15,186 --> 00:05:16,186
Come on.
129
00:05:16,220 --> 00:05:18,155
Give him some credit
for the purity pledge.
130
00:05:18,189 --> 00:05:21,124
That's comforting to know
that if he fools around with Eve
131
00:05:21,159 --> 00:05:22,409
that God will smite him.
132
00:05:22,443 --> 00:05:27,831
Feels like a shame to get smited
for being smitten.
133
00:05:29,233 --> 00:05:30,868
You know, we're talking about
our kid's virtue here.
134
00:05:30,902 --> 00:05:32,542
Maybe you should take this
more seriously.
135
00:05:33,538 --> 00:05:35,739
What still bugs me is the kid
doesn't come to the door.
136
00:05:35,773 --> 00:05:37,124
I mean, what's his angle there?
137
00:05:37,175 --> 00:05:38,425
Oh, honey. Geez.
138
00:05:38,459 --> 00:05:40,260
Why do you always think that
everybody's working an angle?
139
00:05:40,295 --> 00:05:43,180
Because I live in the world
of reality,
140
00:05:43,214 --> 00:05:46,600
not the cotton candy,
moonbeam world of geology.
141
00:05:46,634 --> 00:05:50,520
So, you admit that you were
wrong about Captain Kangaroo?
142
00:05:50,555 --> 00:05:52,088
Okay!
143
00:05:52,106 --> 00:05:53,457
So the guy was in the military,
144
00:05:53,491 --> 00:05:55,025
but he never got the rank
of captain!
145
00:05:55,059 --> 00:05:56,276
Oh!
146
00:05:56,311 --> 00:05:59,279
What kind of a teenage boy
takes a purity pledge?
147
00:05:59,314 --> 00:06:00,530
A nice one?
148
00:06:00,565 --> 00:06:02,616
- A nice teenage boy?
- Yeah.
149
00:06:02,650 --> 00:06:05,101
I've heard of them.
150
00:06:05,119 --> 00:06:07,621
They live with the Easter bunny
and Sasquatch.
151
00:06:07,655 --> 00:06:09,406
That's who they are.
152
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:10,791
I don't trust this kid.
153
00:06:10,825 --> 00:06:13,460
He's after our daughter, and I'm
just gonna keep an eye on this.
154
00:06:13,494 --> 00:06:16,213
Well, luckily,
Eve and I have a cool bond now
155
00:06:16,247 --> 00:06:18,515
where we confide in each other,
so...
156
00:06:18,549 --> 00:06:19,800
We're a great team.
157
00:06:19,834 --> 00:06:22,786
You got that, and I've got
12 loaded shotguns.
158
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,324
Hey, Mike Baxter here
for Outdoor Man,
159
00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:35,026
where we say what we mean
and we mean what we say.
160
00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:37,896
That's not always the case
everywhere else, though, is it?
161
00:06:37,947 --> 00:06:39,347
Here's a good one.
162
00:06:39,381 --> 00:06:42,700
"If you're happy with your
insurance, you can keep it."
163
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,152
And my old favorite...
164
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:47,305
"I did not have sexual relations
with that woman."
165
00:06:47,339 --> 00:06:49,958
You hear a politician say,
"I'm not a crook,"
166
00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:52,043
you pretty much know
he's a crook.
167
00:06:52,077 --> 00:06:54,329
Funny thing
about human psychology...
168
00:06:54,363 --> 00:06:56,748
a guilty conscience
leads you to proclaim
169
00:06:56,799 --> 00:06:58,550
the exact opposite of the truth.
170
00:06:58,584 --> 00:06:59,834
Like Vladimir Putin.
171
00:06:59,868 --> 00:07:01,669
Goes on and on about gay people,
172
00:07:01,704 --> 00:07:03,771
but his hobbies
include wrestling
173
00:07:03,806 --> 00:07:07,108
and riding shirtless on a horse.
174
00:07:07,143 --> 00:07:09,060
Or when a teenage boy
says to a girl
175
00:07:09,094 --> 00:07:11,229
that he's willing
to "take things slow."
176
00:07:11,263 --> 00:07:13,014
What does he mean by "things"?
177
00:07:13,048 --> 00:07:14,715
He's pretty much telling her
178
00:07:14,733 --> 00:07:16,985
he's only got one thing
on his mind.
179
00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:18,853
Which is why we're having
our special, once-a-year,
180
00:07:18,887 --> 00:07:21,673
fathers-with-teenage-daughters
sale.
181
00:07:21,707 --> 00:07:25,627
All gutting racks
are half-priced.
182
00:07:25,661 --> 00:07:29,564
Because dressing a deer
in front of a teenage boy...
183
00:07:29,582 --> 00:07:33,585
Might just take his mind off
undressing your daughter.
184
00:07:36,138 --> 00:07:38,206
I wish I was going
with you, Eve.
185
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,541
Camping is fun.
186
00:07:39,575 --> 00:07:41,042
Only if it's on the sidewalk
187
00:07:41,076 --> 00:07:43,228
the night before
the new iPhone gets released.
188
00:07:44,463 --> 00:07:48,466
And Kyle's holding my place
while I sleep at home.
189
00:07:48,517 --> 00:07:51,019
Well, this is not about "fun,"
ladies.
190
00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:54,755
We're not twisting dandelions
into friendship bracelets here.
191
00:07:54,773 --> 00:07:58,476
This is the Junior ROTC
military skills competition.
192
00:07:58,511 --> 00:08:00,662
This is every girl's dream,
okay?
193
00:08:00,696 --> 00:08:02,697
A water-can relay,
log carrying race,
194
00:08:02,731 --> 00:08:05,149
and just when you're about
to cough up a lung,
195
00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:07,535
there's "the gauntlet."
196
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:11,789
My dream is getting to sleep in
till 8:00 on a Saturday.
197
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:15,493
Wow, both of your dreams
make me want to cry.
198
00:08:15,544 --> 00:08:17,495
Well, I'll be making
all the boys cry
199
00:08:17,546 --> 00:08:18,779
when I win "Top Shooter."
200
00:08:18,797 --> 00:08:20,281
Better make room in my duffel
201
00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:22,083
for the trophy
I'm bringing home.
202
00:08:22,117 --> 00:08:23,384
Hold up.
203
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:25,539
So, there's guys going along
on this little sleepover?
204
00:08:25,554 --> 00:08:29,340
Well, I'm going with an elite
team selected from my squad.
205
00:08:29,391 --> 00:08:33,561
Hmm. Suddenly this is starting
to resemble my dreams.
206
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:37,181
How does Justin feel about you
being out there in the woods
207
00:08:37,233 --> 00:08:40,134
running around
with all those muscular hotties
208
00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:41,802
in tight-fitting uniforms?
209
00:08:43,805 --> 00:08:45,940
Well, the uniforms
are regulation...
210
00:08:45,974 --> 00:08:49,193
Shh.
My dreams, my uniforms.
211
00:08:49,245 --> 00:08:52,330
Okay, well,
Justin will be there, too.
212
00:08:55,084 --> 00:08:58,336
Ohhhhh.
213
00:08:58,370 --> 00:09:03,374
Now I get what's going on here.
214
00:09:03,425 --> 00:09:06,044
That would be a first.
215
00:09:06,095 --> 00:09:08,263
Your boyfriend
is going with you?
216
00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:10,098
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Very nice.
217
00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:11,549
A little mood lighting
218
00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:15,687
a little romantic dinner.
219
00:09:17,172 --> 00:09:22,810
A little sleeping bag for two
under the stars.
220
00:09:22,844 --> 00:09:28,533
And you'll just junior rot-see
what happens.
221
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:31,619
Nothing is going to happen!
222
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,522
Okay, it better not,
but, uh, just in case,
223
00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:36,124
I... I want to make sure
224
00:09:36,158 --> 00:09:39,077
this isn't the only raincoat
you're packing.
225
00:09:39,128 --> 00:09:42,080
Why would I need more than one
raincoat, guys?
226
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,584
No.
Um, yeah.
227
00:09:46,635 --> 00:09:49,003
Do Mom and Dad know
about Justin?
228
00:09:49,037 --> 00:09:51,055
Well, they know he's
in Junior ROTC with me.
229
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,974
And they signed off
on this weekend?
230
00:09:53,008 --> 00:09:55,059
They signed my permission slip
months ago.
231
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,678
Before you started dating him.
232
00:09:56,712 --> 00:09:58,179
Okay, yeah,
but it's no big deal,
233
00:09:58,213 --> 00:10:00,315
because we're just going
as teammates this weekend.
234
00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:02,400
And he better not drop
the water can in the relay,
235
00:10:02,434 --> 00:10:04,902
'cause he'll be taking
his sister to prom.
236
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,220
Wait.
237
00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:08,823
You need to explain all this
to Mom and Dad before you go.
238
00:10:08,857 --> 00:10:10,224
Explain what to us?
239
00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:12,610
Nothing.
240
00:10:12,661 --> 00:10:14,612
Eve, what's, uh...
what's going on?
241
00:10:14,663 --> 00:10:15,863
Uh, honey, you know...
242
00:10:15,897 --> 00:10:18,282
uh, you know you can tell me
anything, right?
243
00:10:18,334 --> 00:10:19,917
I know.
It's... it's just drama.
244
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:22,503
I mean, I hate living in a house
with a bunch of girls.
245
00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:24,505
Yeah, I know the feeling.
246
00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:26,841
Take a break.
247
00:10:26,875 --> 00:10:28,343
Come on in the den.
248
00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:31,095
Do what I do... bitch about the
democrats and clean shotguns.
249
00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:33,848
What is it?
250
00:10:33,882 --> 00:10:36,317
Eve, they're gonna find out
eventually.
251
00:10:36,352 --> 00:10:39,387
Boy, there's words
every parent loves to hear.
252
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:40,555
What's going on?
253
00:10:40,589 --> 00:10:41,889
I-it's nothing.
254
00:10:41,923 --> 00:10:43,391
Justin made the team,
255
00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:46,644
and he's going on
the camping trip this weekend.
256
00:10:46,695 --> 00:10:48,396
Everybody happy now?
257
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:50,365
Oh, I've been happier.
258
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:54,535
Evie, honey, this, uh...
this changes things a lot.
259
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:55,987
- Why?
- Well...
260
00:10:56,038 --> 00:10:57,071
Because we've never met
this kid.
261
00:10:57,105 --> 00:10:58,406
He won't even come
to the front door.
262
00:10:58,440 --> 00:10:59,607
No way I'm letting you go away
for the weekend with him!
263
00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:00,625
No. No. No.
264
00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:01,876
What?! T-that's insane!
265
00:11:01,910 --> 00:11:04,245
I've been training for a year.
I have to go.
266
00:11:04,279 --> 00:11:05,797
Yeah, but you're not.
I'm sorry.
267
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,498
I can't believe you guys
don't trust me.
268
00:11:07,549 --> 00:11:10,001
Well, I can't believe you didn't
trust me enough to tell me.
269
00:11:10,052 --> 00:11:11,302
I thought we had a cool bond.
270
00:11:11,336 --> 00:11:14,756
You're not old enough
to go on a sleepover
271
00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:16,624
with Mr. purity pledge.
272
00:11:19,795 --> 00:11:21,095
You told him?
273
00:11:21,129 --> 00:11:23,481
Yeah, and I'm not buying it.
274
00:11:23,515 --> 00:11:27,402
A purity pledge is one step
below a pinky swear.
275
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:30,154
I can't believe
I was stupid enough
276
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,740
to tell you anything, Mom!
277
00:11:34,109 --> 00:11:36,611
Wow, you really violated
her trust.
278
00:11:46,861 --> 00:11:48,861
Go away.
279
00:11:50,386 --> 00:11:52,886
Thanks a lot for telling
Mom and Dad about Justin.
280
00:11:52,911 --> 00:11:55,211
It would've been much worse
if they've found out after.
281
00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:57,236
How about my plan
where they never find out.
282
00:11:57,261 --> 00:11:59,261
How about we give that a try.
283
00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:02,086
Oh... wait.
Too late.
284
00:12:02,861 --> 00:12:05,561
Look, I know you are really mad
at Mom and Dad right now.
285
00:12:05,636 --> 00:12:07,636
And you.
Let's not forget you.
286
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:11,161
You know, we all
are looking out for your best interest.
287
00:12:11,877 --> 00:12:14,378
So it's in my best interest
to be punished because you
288
00:12:14,404 --> 00:12:16,813
and Mandy are both giant tramps
who slept around?
289
00:12:18,398 --> 00:12:20,383
I never slept around, okay?
290
00:12:20,401 --> 00:12:21,951
I... I had a kid.
291
00:12:21,986 --> 00:12:24,154
And I haven't slept since.
292
00:12:24,188 --> 00:12:25,522
But you're right.
293
00:12:25,556 --> 00:12:29,192
I... I made some mistakes, which
is why I want you to be safe.
294
00:12:29,226 --> 00:12:30,743
So Justin will be 90 miles away
295
00:12:30,778 --> 00:12:32,779
while I'm locked up in my room
all weekend.
296
00:12:32,830 --> 00:12:33,780
Safe enough for you?
297
00:12:33,831 --> 00:12:35,915
You know
if I were you...
298
00:12:35,950 --> 00:12:39,202
You're not me!
Okay?!
299
00:12:39,736 --> 00:12:41,370
If you were going this weekend,
300
00:12:41,404 --> 00:12:42,755
it would be to hook up
with your boyfriend.
301
00:12:42,789 --> 00:12:45,341
But I was going
because I trained for a year
302
00:12:45,375 --> 00:12:47,877
and I wanted to kick
the other squads' ass!
303
00:12:47,911 --> 00:12:50,713
So, you don't even care
that Justin is gonna be there?
304
00:12:50,747 --> 00:12:54,967
No, I'm actually kind of annoyed
that he's going.
305
00:12:55,018 --> 00:12:57,853
He's not that good.
306
00:12:57,888 --> 00:13:01,457
And he'll just embarrass me
in front of the guys.
307
00:13:01,491 --> 00:13:04,143
He made the team,
like, two days ago
308
00:13:04,194 --> 00:13:06,729
because some other kid
got hurt...
309
00:13:06,763 --> 00:13:09,264
When he tripped...
310
00:13:09,282 --> 00:13:11,117
Over Justin.
311
00:13:11,151 --> 00:13:14,420
Wait, so, all of this
wasn't just an excuse
312
00:13:14,454 --> 00:13:17,907
for you guys to have
some alone time together?
313
00:13:17,941 --> 00:13:19,125
Hello!
314
00:13:19,159 --> 00:13:20,793
Both of our parents work.
315
00:13:20,827 --> 00:13:22,878
I get out of school
at 3:00.
316
00:13:22,913 --> 00:13:25,498
If we wanted to, we could have
had two kids and a cat by now.
317
00:13:27,918 --> 00:13:29,218
Wow.
318
00:13:29,252 --> 00:13:31,087
I... I'm sorry.
319
00:13:31,121 --> 00:13:32,788
I guess this really is my fault.
320
00:13:32,806 --> 00:13:34,273
I just, you know, I assumed
321
00:13:34,307 --> 00:13:36,425
that you were doing
what I would have done.
322
00:13:36,460 --> 00:13:39,011
Why would I ever do that?
323
00:13:39,062 --> 00:13:41,263
When I talk about you
to my friends,
324
00:13:41,297 --> 00:13:43,682
I always call you
"the cautionary tale."
325
00:13:49,105 --> 00:13:50,789
Eve worked so hard for this.
326
00:13:50,824 --> 00:13:53,042
I hated having to
take it away from her.
327
00:13:53,076 --> 00:13:55,010
Well, you shouldn't have
let it happen.
328
00:13:55,045 --> 00:13:56,662
We both signed
that permission slip
329
00:13:56,713 --> 00:13:58,797
before we knew that they were
seeing each other.
330
00:13:58,832 --> 00:13:59,882
But then you forgot it.
331
00:13:59,916 --> 00:14:01,383
You forgot about it, too.
332
00:14:01,418 --> 00:14:02,668
Because I have a job.
333
00:14:02,719 --> 00:14:04,219
So do I.
334
00:14:04,254 --> 00:14:06,305
Let's not split hairs
over whose job is more demanding
335
00:14:06,340 --> 00:14:07,423
and who's a geologist.
336
00:14:07,457 --> 00:14:08,975
Oh, okay.
337
00:14:09,009 --> 00:14:10,309
Mom. Dad.
338
00:14:10,344 --> 00:14:11,761
Uh, I just had a nice talk
with Eve.
339
00:14:11,795 --> 00:14:13,145
- You did?
- Is she still mad at your mom?
340
00:14:13,180 --> 00:14:14,230
'Cause that's understandable.
341
00:14:14,264 --> 00:14:15,898
Shh!
342
00:14:15,933 --> 00:14:17,233
Listen, I don't think
you have to worry
343
00:14:17,267 --> 00:14:18,401
about letting her go
on this trip.
344
00:14:18,435 --> 00:14:19,552
Because she's not going.
345
00:14:19,586 --> 00:14:21,237
Keep up
with the current events!
346
00:14:21,271 --> 00:14:22,471
Okay, that's a mistake.
347
00:14:22,489 --> 00:14:23,739
Eve shouldn't have to pay
348
00:14:23,774 --> 00:14:26,275
for the stuff that I did
in high school, or Mandy.
349
00:14:26,309 --> 00:14:28,143
Eve's a better kid
than either of us were.
350
00:14:28,161 --> 00:14:29,801
We would have been
out that bedroom window
351
00:14:29,813 --> 00:14:30,863
a half an hour ago.
352
00:14:30,914 --> 00:14:34,283
Yeah. That was kind of
your go-to move.
353
00:14:34,317 --> 00:14:35,585
But it isn't Eve's,
354
00:14:35,619 --> 00:14:38,504
and... and she's the best
climber of the three of us.
355
00:14:38,538 --> 00:14:41,958
That's because she's got those
weird little monkey hands.
356
00:14:41,992 --> 00:14:43,926
Eve said that she wasn't ready
357
00:14:43,961 --> 00:14:46,212
to do anything physical
with Justin,
358
00:14:46,263 --> 00:14:48,297
and I have to say
I believe her.
359
00:14:48,331 --> 00:14:49,682
She shared all that with you?
360
00:14:49,716 --> 00:14:51,767
I mean, you were only up there
for like two minutes. How?
361
00:14:51,802 --> 00:14:54,136
Vanessa, consider it
a blessing...
362
00:14:54,170 --> 00:14:55,554
less for you to blab.
363
00:14:55,606 --> 00:14:57,106
But wait.
She... she misled us.
364
00:14:57,140 --> 00:14:59,174
All this time, she knew
her boyfriend was going,
365
00:14:59,192 --> 00:15:00,226
and she kept it from us?
366
00:15:00,277 --> 00:15:01,310
No, no, no.
367
00:15:01,344 --> 00:15:03,195
She just found out
Justin was going.
368
00:15:03,230 --> 00:15:04,530
She...
she didn't mislead you.
369
00:15:04,564 --> 00:15:07,316
Really, I... I think you guys
should reconsider.
370
00:15:07,350 --> 00:15:08,901
Love you.
371
00:15:08,952 --> 00:15:10,703
Oh. Honey,
are we making a mistake?
372
00:15:10,737 --> 00:15:12,822
I mean, all this time,
we've been focusing
373
00:15:12,856 --> 00:15:14,624
on whether we could trust
this boy,
374
00:15:14,658 --> 00:15:16,459
and we forgot
that we can trust Eve.
375
00:15:16,743 --> 00:15:19,128
- This is your fault.
- What?!
376
00:15:19,162 --> 00:15:20,779
You gave me bad intel.
377
00:15:23,616 --> 00:15:26,118
You don't have
the cool relationship with Eve
378
00:15:26,136 --> 00:15:28,721
that you think you do.
379
00:15:28,755 --> 00:15:29,805
Where are you going?
380
00:15:29,839 --> 00:15:31,223
To tell Eve
she can go to Fort Carson.
381
00:15:31,258 --> 00:15:33,225
No, honey. Wait. Wait.
No, wait. Listen. Listen.
382
00:15:33,260 --> 00:15:34,593
I think Eve's gonna be really
thrilled to hear this and...
383
00:15:34,627 --> 00:15:35,761
I know. I know.
384
00:15:35,795 --> 00:15:38,463
...I think it should come
from her mother.
385
00:15:43,436 --> 00:15:45,688
Eve, honey?
386
00:15:45,739 --> 00:15:47,256
Hey.
387
00:15:47,290 --> 00:15:49,191
What?
388
00:15:49,242 --> 00:15:50,359
Oh, she's gone!
389
00:15:50,410 --> 00:15:52,544
And she...
she took her bag!
390
00:15:52,579 --> 00:15:53,829
Oh, no!
391
00:15:53,863 --> 00:15:56,198
She followed her sisters
out the window.
392
00:15:56,249 --> 00:15:58,117
Damn monkey hands.
393
00:16:08,122 --> 00:16:09,623
Evie, honey, please call.
394
00:16:09,657 --> 00:16:11,158
We just want to know
that you're okay.
395
00:16:11,209 --> 00:16:13,326
We're not mad at you.
You're not in trouble.
396
00:16:13,377 --> 00:16:16,463
She's the smart one.
She's not gonna fall for that.
397
00:16:16,497 --> 00:16:19,049
Do you think we drove her
to this by not trusting her?
398
00:16:19,083 --> 00:16:21,418
Or... or... or was she playing
us the whole time?
399
00:16:21,452 --> 00:16:23,470
She's been two steps ahead of us
the whole time.
400
00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:25,806
It's like I'm Treadstone,
and I want to be Jason Bourne.
401
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:27,641
Ohh.
402
00:16:27,675 --> 00:16:29,092
What's up, gloomy gusses?
403
00:16:29,126 --> 00:16:32,295
Did one of your political guys
get in trouble
404
00:16:32,313 --> 00:16:34,514
for, uh, waterboarding again?
405
00:16:34,565 --> 00:16:36,316
Mandy, not now.
406
00:16:36,350 --> 00:16:38,485
I never understood
why that was such a big deal.
407
00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:40,987
'Cause I went waterboarding
that one time in California.
408
00:16:41,022 --> 00:16:44,024
It was, like, so much fun!
409
00:16:44,075 --> 00:16:46,977
Listen, Eve snuck out to go
on her Junior ROTC weekend
410
00:16:47,011 --> 00:16:49,479
even though we told her
that she couldn't go.
411
00:16:49,497 --> 00:16:51,665
Wow.
Totally pulling a Mandy.
412
00:16:51,699 --> 00:16:56,453
I got to say I'm kind of proud.
413
00:16:56,487 --> 00:16:58,755
You're proud of setting
a bad example for your sister?
414
00:16:58,789 --> 00:17:00,373
I'm not, like, "proud" proud.
415
00:17:00,424 --> 00:17:02,592
I mean, like, you know,
my gay pride proud,
416
00:17:02,627 --> 00:17:04,678
like, where I'm walking
past the parade.
417
00:17:04,712 --> 00:17:06,663
And I'm like, "hey!
418
00:17:06,681 --> 00:17:08,331
"Good for you.
That's awesome.
419
00:17:08,349 --> 00:17:10,016
Oh, a pretzel cart."
420
00:17:10,051 --> 00:17:11,968
Are you gonna go get her?
421
00:17:12,002 --> 00:17:13,036
Yeah.
422
00:17:13,070 --> 00:17:14,187
- You want me to come with you?
- No, no.
423
00:17:14,222 --> 00:17:15,472
You know what you should do?
424
00:17:15,506 --> 00:17:17,357
Go cut down that tree
outside her window.
425
00:17:17,391 --> 00:17:19,092
Oh.
426
00:17:36,561 --> 00:17:37,878
Dad.
427
00:17:37,912 --> 00:17:39,045
Hey, there.
428
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:40,914
I don't think that hole's
big enough for two.
429
00:17:40,965 --> 00:17:42,666
Where's your boyfriend?
430
00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:45,385
In the infirmary.
431
00:17:45,419 --> 00:17:47,870
He sprained his ankle...
432
00:17:47,889 --> 00:17:50,891
Putting up his tent.
433
00:17:50,925 --> 00:17:52,542
There's officer material.
434
00:17:53,577 --> 00:17:55,061
Why did you think
it was okay to leave
435
00:17:55,096 --> 00:17:56,580
when your mom and I said
you couldn't?
436
00:17:56,614 --> 00:17:57,714
I had to come.
437
00:17:58,532 --> 00:18:00,333
We have a real shot
at winning this weekend,
438
00:18:00,368 --> 00:18:01,935
and they won't without me.
439
00:18:01,969 --> 00:18:03,603
Right. So you snuck away
with your boyfriend?
440
00:18:03,638 --> 00:18:05,338
I didn't sneak away
with my boyfriend.
441
00:18:05,373 --> 00:18:06,406
How'd you get here?
442
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:07,691
My boyfriend.
443
00:18:09,911 --> 00:18:12,395
But we've barely
seen each other since,
444
00:18:12,413 --> 00:18:15,198
and we've been doing
separate drills all day.
445
00:18:15,232 --> 00:18:17,167
And then he got hurt.
446
00:18:17,201 --> 00:18:18,401
And then I laughed.
447
00:18:18,419 --> 00:18:20,903
And then he got
the other kind of hurt.
448
00:18:20,922 --> 00:18:22,322
I don't need
to hear this stuff.
449
00:18:22,356 --> 00:18:24,541
I just want you to pack up
your gear and get in the truck.
450
00:18:24,575 --> 00:18:25,959
Let's go.
451
00:18:26,010 --> 00:18:27,627
I'm not leaving, Dad.
452
00:18:27,678 --> 00:18:29,118
What do you mean,
you're not leaving?
453
00:18:29,130 --> 00:18:30,570
What the hell's the matter
with you?!
454
00:18:30,581 --> 00:18:31,598
What's the matter with you?!
455
00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:32,915
Since when did you stop
trusting me?
456
00:18:32,934 --> 00:18:34,601
I gave you an order,
and you defied it.
457
00:18:34,635 --> 00:18:36,219
That's breaking
the chain of command.
458
00:18:36,253 --> 00:18:38,421
You above everybody should know
that means something.
459
00:18:38,456 --> 00:18:40,307
Yes, sir.
460
00:18:40,358 --> 00:18:43,977
You can't just obey orders
that you agree with.
461
00:18:44,028 --> 00:18:46,980
A soldier has to submit
to authority.
462
00:18:47,014 --> 00:18:49,899
Even when that authority might
have misjudged the situation
463
00:18:49,934 --> 00:18:51,451
and you think they're wrong?
464
00:18:51,485 --> 00:18:54,788
Yes.
465
00:18:54,822 --> 00:18:58,742
So, you're admitting that you
misjudged the situation?
466
00:18:58,776 --> 00:19:01,944
A commander is only as good
as his intel.
467
00:19:01,963 --> 00:19:04,714
Now, are you gonna march
to this truck like a soldier,
468
00:19:04,749 --> 00:19:07,334
or do I got to carry you
like a crying little girl?
469
00:19:07,385 --> 00:19:10,003
I'll go like a soldier.
470
00:19:10,037 --> 00:19:11,954
Go tell your commander
what's going on here.
471
00:19:11,973 --> 00:19:13,223
- Okay. Yes, sir.
- Hustle up!
472
00:19:13,257 --> 00:19:14,341
Yes, sir.
473
00:19:18,846 --> 00:19:23,350
That's a latrine right there.
474
00:19:23,401 --> 00:19:26,969
Kind of sorry I made
that pit stop before I got here.
475
00:19:29,740 --> 00:19:34,260
Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
476
00:19:34,295 --> 00:19:36,062
Perfect depth, nice edges.
477
00:19:36,097 --> 00:19:40,350
It's a shame what those kids are
gonna do to this after a while.
478
00:19:41,384 --> 00:19:43,169
Did you talk to your commander?
479
00:19:43,204 --> 00:19:44,320
Yeah.
480
00:19:44,338 --> 00:19:46,706
He's real disappointed,
but I couldn't tell
481
00:19:46,757 --> 00:19:49,175
if it was because I'm
supposed to run anchor
482
00:19:49,210 --> 00:19:50,393
in the relay tomorrow
483
00:19:50,428 --> 00:19:54,330
or his life didn't turn out
the way he'd hoped.
484
00:19:55,348 --> 00:19:56,599
Is that yours?
485
00:19:57,134 --> 00:19:59,052
Yeah.
486
00:19:59,103 --> 00:20:00,804
I won "Top Shooter."
487
00:20:00,838 --> 00:20:03,506
Wasn't even close.
488
00:20:04,024 --> 00:20:07,727
Dad, I'm really sorry
that I let you down.
489
00:20:07,778 --> 00:20:10,196
I just didn't want
to let down my squad,
490
00:20:10,231 --> 00:20:13,350
and it's important that a soldier
can count on his brothers.
491
00:20:13,384 --> 00:20:15,368
And sisters.
492
00:20:15,403 --> 00:20:18,288
Yeah.
493
00:20:18,322 --> 00:20:22,308
And there's some more bad news.
494
00:20:22,343 --> 00:20:23,593
I... driving up here,
495
00:20:23,627 --> 00:20:26,012
I think I was basically
driving on fumes.
496
00:20:26,047 --> 00:20:28,415
I don't think I have
enough gas to get back.
497
00:20:30,534 --> 00:20:32,902
Seriously?
498
00:20:33,437 --> 00:20:34,637
Yeah.
499
00:20:34,672 --> 00:20:37,540
I... I can just send someone
down in the morning.
500
00:20:37,558 --> 00:20:40,593
I'll stay here, and I'll sleep
in the truck tonight.
501
00:20:40,628 --> 00:20:44,064
So, we're stuck here
until tomorrow.
502
00:20:44,098 --> 00:20:45,515
Yes.
503
00:20:45,549 --> 00:20:47,650
As long as we're here
and staying,
504
00:20:47,685 --> 00:20:50,403
you might as well just hang out
with your squad
505
00:20:50,438 --> 00:20:52,355
and, you know, do your drills.
506
00:20:52,389 --> 00:20:54,774
Yep, might as well.
507
00:20:54,825 --> 00:20:56,893
And since I'm
staying the night,
508
00:20:56,911 --> 00:20:59,329
I can watch you
do the relay tomorrow.
509
00:20:59,363 --> 00:21:02,198
All I'll be here tonight,
just hanging out.
510
00:21:02,232 --> 00:21:05,735
You never know where I'm gonna
be, watching everything.
511
00:21:13,576 --> 00:21:15,996
Thanks, Dad.
512
00:21:16,931 --> 00:21:19,048
Is this Justin a good guy?
513
00:21:19,083 --> 00:21:20,082
He's okay.
514
00:21:20,601 --> 00:21:22,552
I'm pretty sure
I'm the best thing
515
00:21:22,586 --> 00:21:24,605
that's ever happened to him.
516
00:21:25,639 --> 00:21:28,842
Something he and I
might have in common.
517
00:21:31,867 --> 00:21:36,367
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
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