All language subtitles for T A O O a H S01E06 Riviera Ballet 1080p AMZN WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-WhatsBeyond (1)_track3_[eng]

- Does that music remind
you of the ballet?

It's supposed to.

Our story tonight
is about the ballet,

with an occasional reference
to Listerine, of course.

- Oh, of course.

- Naturally.

- What else?

- Listerine antiseptic
and Listerine toothpaste

present America's favorite
family comedy, "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet," starring
the entire Nelson family:

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky.

So settle back in
your easy chairs

and enjoy another delightful
half-hour with all the Nelsons.

Ozzie Nelson, of
course, plays the part

of the head of the
Nelson household, Ozzie.

And here is his lovely
wife Harriet Nelson,

who keeps the family
on an even keel.

Hello, Harriet.

The smiling young
teenager we now see

is David Nelson, older
of the two Nelson boys,

and played by David Nelson.

And here we have the
youngest of the Nelsons,

the little guy with
the twinkle in his eye,

Ricky Nelson, played
by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next-door
neighbor, Mr. Thornberry,

better known as
Ozzie's pal Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

Oh.

Good morning, officer.

- Morning.

- It's a beautiful
day, isn't it?

- Yes, certainly is.

- Well, I don't want
to keep you any longer.

I imagine you're anxious
to get back on your beat.

- Oh, this is my
beat, right here.

- Oh.

Well, how have things
been this morning?

Kind of quiet?

- Oh, yes.

So far.

- Oh.

Well, that's fine.

I'm afraid you won't find that
fire hydrant very comfortable.

- For goodness sakes!

Why, somebody must have
pushed my car right up

in front of this fireplug.

Officer, I want you to
take a look at this.

- Yes, I've already
seen it, thanks.

- It makes you wonder,
what in the world

would prompt a person to do
a devilish thing like this?

To push a man's car right
up in front of a fireplug?

- Well, people do some
strange things sometimes.

As a matter of fact,
I've never given a man

a ticket for parking
in front of a fireplug.

- Oh, well, that's a mighty
nice attitude, officer,

a mighty nice attitude.

- You didn't let me finish.

- Oh, I beg your pardon.

You were saying?

- I've never given a
ticket to a man for parking

in front of a
fireplug who didn't

insist that he was pushed
there, not in your words,

you understand?
- No, no, no!

Of course.

It's just that the innocent
have to suffer along

with the guilty.

Not suffer, exactly, but
suffer the embarrassment

of having the police
officer point out

that the car is illegally
parked and requesting

the innocent party
not to do it again,

or he's liable to get a ticket.

- Well, yeah.

- The whole thing is very
embarrassing for all concerned.

- Well, these things are
understandable sometimes.

I suppose you were standing
in line for a ticket

to the ballet.

It's really been a
sell-out this year.

- Oh, I didn't realize
so many people were

interested in the ballet.

- Oh, yes, you'd be surprised.

As a matter of fact, I never
went in for it much myself

until I was put on
this beat a week ago.

Now I'm what you might
call a regular fan.

- Oh, then you've seen the show?

- Every night.

You know, you really have to
be in top physical condition

to put on a performance like
they do night after night.

- Oh, I imagine it's pretty
strenuous, jumping up and down

and hopping around
the way they do.

- I should say it is.

And yet, it's amazing
how few people

realize the true
perfection of the ballet.

Each dancer is a
magnificently trained athlete.

It's an inspiring
spectacle to behold.

- Oh, yes, I imagine it is.

Although, frankly, I've
never given it much thought.

You know, it's one
of those things

that you just don't
give much thought to.

- Oh, you're really
going to enjoy it.

How many tickets did you get?

- Oh, uh, no, I don't
think you understand.

You see, I didn't
come down to-- uh,

that is not that I wouldn't
enjoy having a couple

of tickets, but, uh, there's
quite a line here and I don't--

- Then you didn't
get your tickets yet?

- No.

I'm afraid I'm going to
have to forgo the pleasure.

- Well, I couldn't let you do
a thing like that, Mr. uh--

- Uh, fireplug.

Uh, sorry.

Nelson.

- Oh, watch those Freudian
slips, Mr. Nelson.

- I don't know what brought that
to my ticket-- uh, to my mind,

I mean.

- Tell you what I'm
going to do, Mr. Nelson.

I don't want you to
miss that ballet,

so I'm going to insist that
you take a couple of tickets

I have right here.

- Oh, now wait a minute.

I couldn't do a thing like that.

- Now, now, now, don't
you try to thank me.

I'd be a fine one to let you
go home empty-handed after you

came all the way down and parked
right in front here just to get

a ticket, uh, to the ballet.

- Oh, yes.

Well, what is your wife going
to say when you come home

without the tickets?
- She'll be tickled to death.

She's chairman of the
committee selling them.

- Oh, fine.

- Here you are.

That's $2.50 apiece.

- Oh.

Say, you've got quite a
stack there, haven't you?

- You should have seen them
before I noticed that fireplug.

- Is that right? $5?

- Yep, that's right.
And thank you very much.

I know you're really
going to enjoy it.

- Well, I'm sure I will.
Thanks a lot.

I'll be seeing you, officer.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

- Hope to see you next month.

- Uh, next month?

But I thought this was
tonight and tomorrow night.

- That's right.

Next month is the
policeman's ball.

- Hello, Harriet, honey.

- Oh, hi, Clara.
Come on in.

- Oh, I can only stay a minute.

I'm on the warpath today,
and that's the honest truth.

- Oh, it can't be
as bad as all that.

Come on in.

Sit down and tell me about it.

- Hmm, you wait till you hear.

Last night, out
of the clear sky,

what did this husband
of mine do but come

waltzing into the house with
two tickets for the ballet?

- Well, that sounds wonderful.

- That's what I
thought at first.

- I wish I could
get Ozzie to go.

I've been trying to for years.

- Oh, you won't have any
trouble this year, honey.

I'll bet every man
in town is there,

and that's the honest truth.
- Well, for goodness sakes.

Why?

- I just found out myself
a half an hour ago.

What do you think the name
of the ballet is this year?

- I don't think I've heard.

- Hold your breath, honey.

It's called "Escapades
Along the Riviera."

The whole thing takes place
on the beach in France.

Can't you just imagine what
that ballet is going to be like?

- Well, it sounds like it's
going to be very interesting.

- Maybe so, but you
know those French girls

with their ooh la
la's and everything.

They're of age and they've
got a bathing suit.

I hope so.

It certainly sounds like
an unusual ballet, though.

- Wait till I see
that husband of mine.

Thinks he's so smart.

Got tickets in the second row.

I should have known
there was something

fishy about the whole thing
the minute he told me.

- Well, now why do you say that?

- Well, for one
thing, he came in

with some fantastic
story about a policeman

practically forcing
him to buy the tickets.

- Well, Clara, maybe
it was the truth.

- That's what I thought,
until Mary Peabody told me

her husband came home
with the same story.

- Well, I'll admit it doesn't
have much originality,

but I wouldn't let it worry me.

- Mary seems to think
they got together and made

the whole thing up.

- Sounds like an awful
lot of trouble to go to.

This must be quite a show.

- Well, whatever it is,
Joe's not going to see it,

and that's the honest truth.

- Oh, I wouldn't let
it bother me, Clara.

- I bet you wouldn't talk like
that if Ozzie came waltzing

in with a couple of tickets.

- I'm afraid there's
not much chance of that.

I can't even get him out
to see a movie lately.

I made the mistake of buying
him a couple of good books

last week, and good night, I
can't get him out of the chair.

- I think I'll buy
Joe some books.

He can read them while he's
lying there in the hospital.

- Bye, Clara.

- Uh, Harriet?

- I'm in here.

- Oh, hi, dear.

- Hi.

How'd you like a
sandwich for lunch?

- Oh, that'll be fine.

I have a little
surprise for you.

- Oh, good for you.

- Don't you want to
ask me what it is?

- OK, dear.

What is it?

- No, no, not so fast.

It's going to be
a real surprise.

- Well, come on.
Tell me.

- When you hear about this,
you're going to dance with joy.

You know how you're always after
me to take you to something

cultural and artistic?

- No, but go on.

- Well, you'll never guess
where we're going tonight.

It's cultural, and
you'll love it.

A fella started telling
me about it downtown,

and I just couldn't
resist buying two tickets.

- I see.

- You'll have to be on
your toes to guess it.

- You've got two
tickets to the ballet?

- How did you guess it?

- From that eager
look in your eye.

- You should have seen the crowd
standing in line for tickets.

It must be a sellout.

Why are you looking
at me so funny?

- When are you going to
tell me about the policeman?

- Well, how did you
know about the pol--

- That's what
happened, isn't it?

A policeman practically
forced you to buy the tickets?

- Well, yes.
How did you know?

- Honestly now, aren't
you ashamed of yourself?

- Well, no, not especially.

Why should I be?

- Why didn't you come
right out and tell me

why you bought the tickets?

- Well, Harriet, you're making
a big deal out of nothing.

I was going to tell you, but
you didn't give me the chance.

- All I heard was a lot
of talk about culture.

- Well, Harriet,
this is ridiculous.

In the first place,
what difference

does it make why I
bought the tickets?

The important thing is I've
got two wonderful seats,

right in the front row.

- In the front row?

- Yes.

I understand this is
not only a ballet,

it's practically an
athletic exhibition.

- Well, that's just dandy.

- Hey!

Where are you going
with my sandwich?

- Your sandwich?
This is mine.

You make one for yourself

- Well, tell me one thing.

Do you want to see the
ballet or don't you?

- Frankly, no.

- OK, that's fine with me.

I'll sit home and wade
my way through some

of those dull books you got
me a couple of weeks ago.

- Oh, that won't be necessary.

I'll be going downtown
a little later,

and I'll bring you back a
copy of "The Police Gazette,"

L"a Vie Parisienne," and
"Captain Willy's Biz Bang."

- "Captain Billy's Whiz Bang."

Gee whiz.

Come on in, Thorny.

- Hi, Oz.

- Hiya, Thorny.

Sure timed this perfectly.

How about something to eat?

- Oh, no thanks, Oz.

Couldn't eat a thing.

Just finished a big lunch.
- Really?

Wouldn't like just maybe
a Toll House cookie

and a glass of milk?

- Well, if you insist, I guess
I can nibble on one or two

to keep you company.

What's the matter?

You seem a little on
the worried side today.

- Well, Thorny, sometimes I
just don't understand women.

- They're not
difficult to understand

once you realize they're
impossible to understand.

- Harriet's sure is impossible
to understand sometimes.

I come home with two
tickets to the ballet today,

and how do you think
she shows her gratitude?

- She makes you go with her.

- No!

I was perfectly
willing to go with her.

She seems to be more interested
in why I bought the tickets.

For years now, she's been
trying to get me to take her

to something like this, so when
I finally bring home tickets,

she doesn't want to go.

- Yeah?

What do you plan on
doing with the tickets?

- I don't know.

Do you want them?

- Well, it all depends on how
much you're asking for them.

It has to be within
my price range.

- They're free.

- Free, huh?

Is that for two?

- Yeah, that's for two.

Is that within your price range?

- That's the exact
amount I had in mind.

- I've got them
right here, Thorny.

Here you are.

- Thanks, Oz.

Hope they're good seats.

You want to be sure to
get your money's worth.

- Oh, they're very good.

They're in the front row.

- OK.

Remember now, you
gave them to me.

- Well, certainly.

I'm not an Indian giver.
- Good.

I'm glad to hear it.

So it's agreed that the
tickets now belong to me.

- You don't have to put them
in that safety deposit vault,

you know.

I'm not going to steal
them away from you.

- Well, I guess it's OK
to let you in on the news.

Evidently, you don't know
what the ballet's about.

- What do you mean
what it's about?

- Well, it's called
"Escapades along the Riviera,"

and it takes place in
France on the beach.

The French beach, Oz.

- Wait a minute.

You mean to say
there's going to be

a lot of French girls dancing
around in scanty bathing suits?

What kind of a ballet
do you call that?

- Well, pretty darn
good, if you ask me.

I understand they even sell
chocolates between the acts.

- Holy smokes, Thorny.

This is terrible.

No wonder Harriet
acted so funny when

I brought the tickets home.

She probably thinks I
wanted to see the show just

to see this Riviera thing.

Now she'll never
believe that I really

wanted to see the ballet.

How am I going to
explain this to Harriet?

Well, very simple.

Be honest with her.

Explain that you
have no idea what

it was like, that you wouldn't
think of going to see anything

like that.

- Well, and then what?

- Well, if you can
get out tonight,

I'll take you to the ballet.

Ridiculous.
- Oh, come on, Oz.

Be my guest.

Some sucker gave me his tickets.

- Aren't you going
to take Catherine?

- Well, I'm afraid she doesn't
quite appreciate the finer

things like that.

- "Escapades Along the Riviera."

Imagine that.

- I don't have to imagine it.

I'm going to see it, and
from the front row, too.

- I'll just have to figure out
some way of explaining this

to Harriet, maybe ought
to soften her up first.

Yeah, I'll think I'll
go down to the drugstore

and buy her a nice
big box of candy.

Would you like to
go along with me?

- Oh, I haven't got time.

I've got to get slicked
up for the ballet.

- Well, if Catherine
finds out about this,

she's liable to unslick you.

- Don't worry about that.

Catherine's a very
broad-minded woman.

On a good day, she's very
reasonable and intelligent.

- Well, I'll see you
later then, Thorny.

I'll go down and buy the candy.

- Oh, wait a minute, Oz.

On second thought,
I think I will go.

I think I'll buy a box
for Catherine, too.

This is liable to be
one of her bad days.

- Hello?

- Hello, Harriet.

Guess who.

- I give up.

Who is it?
- It's Clara!

Clara Randolph!

- Well, for goodness
sakes, Clara.

You could have fooled me.

- Yeah, I was using
my throaty voice.

It fools everybody.

- What's on your mind?

Who are you calling about?

- Well, please
forgive me, honey.

It might sound a little
silly, but I'm practically

in hysterics.

It's the funniest
thing I ever heard of,

and that's the honest truth.

- What is it?

- Joe went downtown, found
out a little bit more

about the ballet.

Now, listen
to this, it'll kill ya!

- Go ahead.

I'm listening.

- Well, it does take
place in France.

It is on the beach.

But the date of
the thing is 1870.

And the girls will be
wearing bathing suits.

But, honey, did you
ever see pictures

of bathing suits in 1870?

The dancers will have on more
clothes than the audience.

- Oh, well, that's wonderful.

- Isn't this great?

Joe phoned a little
while ago, wanted

to know if I wouldn't
rather go bowling tonight.

I wish you
could have seen his face.

Come to think of it, I wish
I could have seen his face.

- Are you going to make
him take you to the ballet?

- Oh, you bet I am.

You know, Harriet, you can
fool some of the people all

the time, and you can fool
all the people so-- some

of the-- some of the people--

Some of the-- well, whatever
it is, it's the honest truth,

and that's the honest truth.

- Goodbye, Clara.

And thanks for the news.

- Harriet?

Oh, hello, fellas.
Have you seen your mother?

- Hiya, Pop.
- She went downtown.

- Oh.
- Who's the candy for?

- Oh, I bought this
for your mother.

- How come mom's mad at you?

- Oh, you might
be mistaken, Dave.

Don't you think I can buy a
box of candy for your mother

without having an
ulterior motive?

- What does that
mean exactly, Pop?

- That means I bought the
candy for your mother.

It's true we did have a
slight misunderstanding,

but usually I find a box
of candy and an explanation

straightens everything out.

- Well, why don't you
give mom the explanation

and give us the candy?

- I will not.

- We don't get anything.

If we can't have the candy,
how about an explanation?

- What is there
for me to explain?

- Explain why we
can't have the candy.

- You can't have the
candy because I bought it

for your mother.

- What was the
misunderstanding about, Pop?

- Well, I came home
with a couple of tickets

for the ballet.

- The ballet?

- Heck, that's sissy stuff.

- It is not sissy stuff.

A lot of men go to the ballet.

At least a lot of men
will be going tonight.

- How come mom's mad at you?

Didn't she like the ballet?

- Well, yes, but
the feminine mind

is a very weird and
complicated machine.

- Like an airplane, huh, Pop?

- Yes, without a pilot.

- I find that
women are sometimes

very difficult to understand.

- I'll say.

There's this new girl in school
and I can't understand her.

- What do you mean?

- Well, she's different
from the other girls.

- Different?
In what way?

- She doesn't like me.

- Oh, do most of the
girls in school like you?

- Oh, sure.

They all do.

They think I'm cute.

- Oh, Ricky, stop bragging.

You're not cute at all.

- I don't know.

I was looking in the mirror
today and I'm not bad.

- Well, good for you.

- You make me sick.

- Oh, yeah?

I suppose there's no bow
tie in "pretty sharp."

- Well, look, fellas,
one argument in the house

is enough for today, huh?

- Yeah.

How come mom doesn't
want to go to the ballet?

- Well, this year, the ballet
is going to be rather--

Well, I don't think
you'd understand.

Yes, maybe you would.

- Go ahead, Pop.

- Well, this year, the
ballet is going to take place

on the beach in France.

- So what?

- I guess you
wouldn't understand.

- Oh, there's Mom.

- Oh, yeah.

Look, fellas, I'd kind of like
to talk to your mother alone.

Would you guys go outside
and have some fun?

- Well, heck.

I think it'll be
more fun in here.

- Oh, Ricky, don't be so nosy.

- Hello, dear.

- Hi.

I have something for you.

Surprise!

You knew I was going
to get them for you.

You see, I bought you a box
of candy, some Riviera mince--

Riviera?

- Thank you very much, dear.

- And, Harriet, I just
found out what the Riviera

ballet is really all about.

Thorny told me.

- Oh.

- And honestly, dear,
if I'd known it before,

I never would have
bought the tickets.

- Well, at least
you're honest about it.

- It doesn't interest
me anymore now.

I'm glad you don't want to go.

Who wants to go see a show with
a bunch of girls dancing around

with skimpy bathing suits on?

- Oh.

Oh, of course!

Girls in skimpy bathing suits.

The Riviera number.

- I'd much rather sit
home here and relax

with a couple of
those delightful books

that you got me for
our anniversary.

- Ozzie, why don't
we go to the ballet?

- You mean you'd like to?

- Yeah, I think
we might enjoy it.

- Well, like I say, I don't
care for that sort of stuff,

but I could be talked into it.

I mean, if you want to go-- and,
say, haven't we better hurry?

They'll be quite a crowd
there, I understand.

Well, it's only 4:00.

The ballet doesn't start
until 1870-- uh, 8:30.

- Oh, oh.

- What kind of seats do we have?

- Well, don't you remember?

I told you they're
wonderful seats.

I was telling Thorny--

- What's the matter?

- Holy smokes.

I gave our tickets to Thorny.

- Oh, that's all right, dear.

I have two more
right here in my bag.

- Well, don't tell me that
same policeman passed some off

on you.

- No, his wife did.

He went out for lunch.

- Had me worried
there for a minute.

I was afraid we were
going to have to miss it.

I know you're
looking forward to seeing it.

- Oh, I wouldn't miss
this show for the world.

- What are you giggling about?

- Oh, nothing.

It's just my fiendish
sense of humor, I guess.

- Well, what do you mean?

- Dear, did you know
that this whole ballet

takes place in 1870?

- 1870?

- Uh, and do you
know what the bathing

suits looked like in 1870?

- No, I don't think I do.

When did Clara tell
you about this?

- Oh, she phoned me a little--

How did you know Clara told me?

- Well she is the local
pony express, isn't she?

- As a matter of fact,
she didn't tell me.

Joe found out and called her.

She was going to make
him stay home tonight,

but now she's insisting
he go to the ballet.

- Oh, poor old Joe.

- Yeah, poor old Ozzie, too.

You're not going
to worm out of it.

- Well, of course not.

I'm looking forward to it.

Oh, by the way, Joe said to
give you his best regards.

- Joe Randolph?

- Yeah, I met him
down at the drugstore.

He was buying a box
of candy for Clara.

- Well, what for?

She isn't mad at him.

- No, but he figures she will
be when she sees the ballet

and finds out the little
trick he played on her.

- You mean that Joe deliberately
made up that 1870 business?

- Let me see if I can
remember his exact words.

He said, "There's more
than one way to bag a cat,

and I do mean Clara."

- Well, there's
really not much more

to tell you in our
story for tonight.

Oh, you might be
interested to know

that Ozzie and I
went to the ballet

and enjoyed it tremendously.

The Thornberrys were
there, and the Randolphs.

Just about everybody in town.

Oh, and there's one more thing
you might get a kick out of.

The very next day, Ozzie
went downtown again,

and who do you think he met?

OK, whom do you think he met?

He was walking down
that very same street.

- Oh. hello there, officer.
- Oh, hello.

Oh, you're the fella I sold
the tickets to yesterday.

- Yes.

Say, my wife and I took
in the show last night.

We thought it was great.
- Well, that's fine.

- You sell many tickets today?

- No.

I'm being transferred to the
West Side Arena beat now.

Wrestling every Monday,
Wednesday, and Friday.

- Oh, good.
- You like wrestling?

- Yes, I enjoy an exhibition
every now and then.

- Well, my brother is
half owner of the place.

I have some tickets if you--

- Oh, thanks a lot.

I came down on the bus today.

- Oh.

Well, any time you want to
avoid the line, just look me up.

I'll be right on the corner.

- Well, you bet I will.

- Say, as a matter of
fact, it's getting late.

I'd better get over there now.
Could I give you a lift?

- Oh, I don't want to
put you in any trouble.

- No trouble at all.
Come on.

- Well, this is very
nice of you, officer.

- That's perfectly--
Oh, just a moment.

- Something the matter?

- Yes, I don't want
to forget this.

- Oh, by the way, just in case
there are any police officers

viewing the program,
we want you to know

that we're only kidding.

No, honestly, we are, fellas.

We're only kidding.

Scout's honor.

We're just fooling.

- Clara Randolph was
played by Florence Lake.

Herb Vigran was the policeman.

Next week, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

Will be brought to you by
Hotpoint Quality Appliances.

Remember, look to Hotpoint
for the finest first.