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1
00:00:03,036 --> 00:00:14,104
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
Exclusive for http://UKsubtitles.ru
2
00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:48,521
Ah...
3
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:10,407
As he lay there, dying in my arms,
4
00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:13,443
he looked into my eyes and said
5
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,769
"Pierre, why was it that I had to
dress like this again?"
6
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:19,281
Hah! Your move Maneki.
7
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:23,721
Again?
8
00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:27,769
Very well.
9
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:34,089
And then he whispered to me
with his last breath
10
00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:37,921
"Pierre, always muddle the lime."
11
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,207
But now I carry on his legacy...
12
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:45,564
the perfect Cherry Mendez.
13
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:49,887
Naturally.
14
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:53,801
He also taught me to make the
world's quickest Bangkok Sunrise.
15
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:57,243
- Tucker, how is that Vodka Marconi?
- Satisfactory.
16
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:02,966
How about now?
17
00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,080
Above satisfactory.
18
00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:09,123
- Your double Jim Bourbons, Jackson?
- Swell.
19
00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:13,291
Claire, are you certain
I cannot make you something?
20
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,562
- It's 9 in the morning.
- Yes?
21
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,922
You see no issue with drinking
at 9 a.m.?
22
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,726
Hey Claire, chill out.
23
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:25,526
Ugh.
24
00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:29,491
Good morning boys and girls,
we have orders.
25
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,569
Good day Colonel,
can I mix you something?
26
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:35,685
Yes, I'll have a... er...
a Bangkok Sunrise, yes.
27
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,485
All right, everybody,
at 0800 hours this morning
28
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:42,250
the Nazis stole the Eiffel Tower.
29
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,329
The Eiffel Tower?
Surely the Nazis have...
30
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:47,763
Shut up girl! We believe
this could be the very beginning
31
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,849
of the largest piece
of Nazi propaganda
32
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:53,362
ever executed by Hitler's
propaganda wizard, Josef Goebbels.
33
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,291
It's safe to assume Goebbels has
similar plans for other monuments.
34
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,881
I think we can all agree,
a world without monuments
35
00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:00,650
is not worth living in.
36
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,810
Your mission: learn what the hell
the Nazis want with the tower,
37
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,650
where they're taking it,
get it back.
38
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,320
And of course, as always,
kill Hitler.
39
00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,404
Looks like the loss of the tower
has hit them quite hard,
40
00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,090
we must be sensitive.
41
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:21,681
Greetings, barkeep!
42
00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:24,881
Three Marconis
and a Summer in Paris, please.
43
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,611
- Rene!
- Marcel?
44
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,201
- Son of a bitch!
- Son of a whore!
45
00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:45,847
Marcel, I thought you bought it when
we blew that bridge in Provence.
46
00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:49,169
Sometimes I wish I did, old friend,
sometimes I wish I did.
47
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:50,361
Marcel?
48
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,483
Tell me you've come
to return the tower.
49
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,650
- It is as you say, my friend.
- Girls, we are saved.
50
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:58,810
The great Marcel DeRochel
has come to help return the tower!
51
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:05,243
All of these fine girls
are members of my battalion.
52
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,762
Each a true revolutionary.
Good front, no?
53
00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:11,649
Yes, they are...
54
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,569
Celeste?
55
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:20,084
Bonjour, Marcel.
56
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,082
So, how have you been?
57
00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:27,089
- I thought you were dead.
- I'm not!
58
00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:30,970
- Don't ever leave me again!
- I burn for you! Rrrr.
59
00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:35,766
Four of my offensives have been
sabotaged this last month,
60
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:40,010
and I am beginning to suspect...
an insider.
61
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,168
Amongst your girls?
62
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,009
Forget me. Save yourself!
63
00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,281
Celeste!
64
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:17,485
If this is the end of the line,
couldn't you grant us one last drink?
65
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,969
We will pay for it.
66
00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:25,207
Inside that safe is gold,
and frankincense
67
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,051
and myrrh of very high quality.
68
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:32,165
If you let us have one last drink,
I will give you the combination.
69
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:50,651
Very well.
70
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:52,811
Two, nine...
71
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:57,961
three, nine, four, nine... two.
72
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,328
Bonjour.
73
00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:13,041
Ah Marcel! I can't remember the last
time we pulled the old life-saving...
74
00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:19,688
Oh, I'm sorry, old friend.
75
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,326
Shh! You must rest.
You'll be better in the morning.
76
00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:25,569
No. No, Marcel,
I'm not long of this world.
77
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,206
Please, do one thing for me.
78
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:29,526
Anything, my friend.
79
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,046
Get my ladies back.
80
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:35,323
They have no doubt been taken to
the nearest outpost, by the river.
81
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,091
Where we used to take the girls
on Bastille...
82
00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:40,886
- You remember it, my friend?
- I cherish those days.
83
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:42,527
Good.
84
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:46,645
Two parts grenadine,
one part chartreuse,
85
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,922
a pinch of salt...
and... a fresh mint...
86
00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:51,722
the perfect Fruit Madrid.
87
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,407
These are the latest group
of detainees, mein Fuhrer.
88
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,364
I hope they are to your liking.
89
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,291
They all pale into insignificance
when you really look at this one.
90
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,764
Isn't the irony sweet?
The Resistance
91
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,281
doing a performance
at the Führer's birthday.
92
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,206
Argh!
93
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:11,885
Hold up.
94
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,163
Good evening,
sir, which mode do you require?
95
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:23,330
Sexy bitch.
Sexy bitch mode activated.
96
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,565
Oh!
97
00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,729
Great work! Cut me loose.
98
00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:00,809
What?
Stop messing around and free me!
99
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:11,248
Don't tell me that you're jealous
that Hitler finds me attractive!
100
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:35,846
Mm?
101
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,971
The girls are bound to be locked up
around here somewhere.
102
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,128
- Hey...
- Halt!
103
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,729
Celeste?
104
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,081
Claire!
105
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,362
- We can jump it.
- No, we can't.
106
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:30,688
What the hell happened back there,
llsa?
107
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,329
That's the Statue of Liberty!
108
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,284
That's what they want
with the monuments?
109
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,768
Don't look at it!
You'll go blind with sorrow!
110
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,122
- Dance at Hitler's birthday!?
- No way in hell
111
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,243
I'm gonna run around France
chasing tail
112
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:58,249
when Lady Liberty herself
is in danger.
113
00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:01,011
Girls are heading for
the middle of a Nazi minestrone.
114
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,851
They need our help.
We need to tail that truck!
115
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,407
- The team takes priority!
- Not in my book.
116
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,568
I'm with Tucker on this one,
my friend.
117
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:10,091
Celeste,
118
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,248
and our comrades, need us.
119
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,401
Guess that leaves you and me llsa.
Fighting for freedom.
120
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,286
Mm...
121
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:32,809
Fine, I'm going to do what's right.
122
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,490
Traitor.
123
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:37,927
You're the traitor, Pedro.
124
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,570
Get me a new technical director!
125
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,003
Who are you?
126
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:14,966
John Schmidt,
the new technical director.
127
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:18,330
What is this?
128
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:23,200
Women don't talk.
129
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:28,487
These are the special costumes
for the finale.
130
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:33,481
They are guaranteed, to...
blow the Führer away.
131
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,569
Not before I have inspected the...
132
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:40,331
Excuse me Herr Goebbels,
the guards' new celebration outfits
133
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,409
have arrived for your approval.
134
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:47,564
You'd better not mess up...
Schmidt.
135
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:52,202
- Celeste, are you all right, my love?
- I knew you would come.
136
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,006
You'll get us killed. What happened
to the mission? Where's Jackson?
137
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:58,204
It seemed you'd landed yourselves in
a Wednesday casserole of a situation.
138
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,528
- We're here to get you out.
- Get us out?
139
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,529
We have everything under control,
Tucker.
140
00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:04,802
I have an after dinner appointment
with Hitler tomorrow night.
141
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,924
- The perfect chance to kill him.
- We're thinking bigger than Hitler.
142
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:11,203
Soon this place is going to be
jam-packed with Nazi top brass
143
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,404
and we're going to put on
the best darn dance performance
144
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,364
the Third Reich has ever seen.
145
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:19,166
Then, when they are fired up
and ready for an encore,
146
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,523
we'll give them an encore,
an encore of bullets.
147
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:26,088
The crate is jam-packed
with resistance-grade bang-bang.
148
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,250
Now that, my dear, is a real plan.
149
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:30,726
This doesn't look
like rehearsal.
150
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,571
We are talking about
the art of dance.
151
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,491
What do these special costumes
look like?
152
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:37,841
Special.
153
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,963
I would like
to see one of them.
154
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,686
- Why ruin the surprise?
- Crowbar!
155
00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:58,680
Oh.. argh.
156
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:07,647
Good, the Führer likes swans.
157
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,929
Terrific plan.
158
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:22,887
- Fire.
- Fire! Fire!
159
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:33,924
Say, are they those military issue
cigarettes,
160
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,010
the kind that coat your lungs
in thick menthol,
161
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:40,010
making you impervious to gas?
162
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,201
Yeah.
163
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,368
Why didn't I get any?
164
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:50,246
Don't worry, Lady Liberty.
I've got your back.
165
00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:19,444
Your Kronsteen, mein Führer,
medium sweet just as you like it.
166
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:26,484
Thank you mein F...
167
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,490
Will you excuse me a moment,
mein Führer?
168
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:42,289
Heil Hitler!
169
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:43,447
Heil Hitler!
170
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,248
Hurry up, we don't have much time.
Radio the Resistance for more guns.
171
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:51,566
Right.
172
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,008
I don't understand how
they swapped those crates,
173
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,726
we loaded those guns ourselves.
174
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:11,250
Celeste...
What are you doing, my love?
175
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:14,364
- Be quiet.
- You're the insider Rene was on to.
176
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:18,281
You did it all, the raid at the bar,
the guns... How?
177
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,448
I had the box changed
when you arrived.
178
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,529
The guns are still in the cargo bay.
179
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,449
- Then Goebbels knows?
- No!
180
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,120
He still thinks
we're just Resistance tramps.
181
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:31,086
I was waiting for the big finale to
hand all of your heads on a platter
182
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,203
to Hitler, as a birthday present.
183
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,200
Oh, don't you cry! You!
184
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,290
Who lets me go on for two years
thinking you are dead!
185
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:41,403
Making me doubt everything
I've ever stood for.
186
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,682
You made me do this, Marcel!
187
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:45,928
If that is your real name.
188
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:48,805
Now it's time for you to pay.
189
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,369
Will you stop this childish banter?
190
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:05,450
- Get out of my way!
- Mm?
191
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,369
What are you doing here anyway?
192
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,126
- What's going on?
- This little mouse is actually a rat.
193
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:17,651
Drop the gun.
194
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,524
No.
195
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,607
Two parts dark rum,
196
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:36,123
crushed ginger,
fill with orange soda...
197
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:40,770
the perfect... Heil Hitler.
198
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,923
Good work, Pierre.
One less traitor in the world.
199
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:25,441
That was Patriotic Dog,
ladies and gentlemen,
200
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,927
a tough act to follow.
201
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:30,930
And now, if I may have all
of your attention, please.
202
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:34,886
As you all know, tonight we are here
to celebrate the birthday
203
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:36,445
of our majestic leader.
204
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:41,769
In the recent days, mein Führer,
205
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:45,760
I have been preparing
the ultimate birthday surprise.
206
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:49,363
If you would all care to turn
to the window on your right.
207
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:53,963
I present to you, the Führer.
208
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:23,002
And now a light supper
before the grand finale.
209
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:35,564
Ah, my Führer, did you enjoy
your birthday surprise?
210
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,683
But you'll miss the... performance.
211
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,968
I'll get the weapons
from the cargo bay, you lot will...
212
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,891
Pierre, pull yourself together!
You lot will...
213
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,445
Attention!
214
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,528
Hey! What are you doing?
I need her... for the performance.
215
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,803
The Führer requests her company.
Now!
216
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:27,641
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
for the grand finale performance...
217
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:34,047
The Rise of The Great
Germanic Swan.
218
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,249
Happy birthday, mien Führer.
219
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,803
- You!
- Claire?
220
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,606
You idiot! I had him!
221
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,609
Hey...
222
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,171
Wait, I...
223
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,449
So, Hitler is still alive, I see.
224
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,723
This war would be over if it weren't
for Sergeant Screw-Up over here.
225
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,287
- You were in my line of fire!
- Nice work, patriot.
226
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:30,967
Oh, quiet you!
227
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,369
- Don't talk to her like that!
- I'll speak to her however I please!
228
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:56,040
You know what?
229
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,163
The world doesn't
need national monuments
230
00:23:58,360 --> 00:24:00,283
to remind people
why they shouldn't kill themselves,
231
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:04,201
because there's something else
I know that does a much better job.
232
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,131
There's plenty of it,
everyone can share it
233
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:11,166
and it starts with the letter L.
You know what I mean.
234
00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:13,931
- Tucker, shut up.
- Yes, very well.
235
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,528
Are you looking
to make new friends?
236
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,919
Don't look
past Muchacho breath mints.
237
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:24,288
Muchacho, a new best friend,
for your mouth.
238
00:24:25,421 --> 00:24:36,489
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
Exclusive for http://UKsubtitles.ru
239
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,602
All right, let's get straight
to the biscuits.
240
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,962
At 0800 hours this morning
241
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:09,403
an American soldier
was eaten by a Nazi dinosaur.
242
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,251
Now, Nazi dinosaurs are popping up
all over Europe.
243
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,683
Your mission: find out where Hitler
is getting these things from
244
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:19,009
and put a stop to it.
Oh yes, and of course, kill Hitler.
17901
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