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1
00:00:06,410 --> 00:00:10,080
Hey, bettors, gambling's
now legal in every state,
2
00:00:10,090 --> 00:00:11,340
except the lame ones.
3
00:00:11,340 --> 00:00:13,190
But in the sport
of sports-betting,
4
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,270
you got to sport-bet
responsibly.
5
00:00:15,270 --> 00:00:17,090
So, remember to follow
these three rules.
6
00:00:17,090 --> 00:00:19,110
Stick with the game plan,
7
00:00:19,110 --> 00:00:21,520
unless you're down a lot
at halftime.
8
00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,280
ANNOUNCER: If you suffer
from gambling addiction,
9
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,460
wait until the season is over,
and then call:
10
00:00:32,530 --> 00:00:33,880
Thank you, football.
11
00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:35,630
I almost forgot
to bet on the game.
12
00:00:35,630 --> 00:00:38,130
TV SPORTSCASTER:
With the Atoms down 42 to zero,
13
00:00:38,130 --> 00:00:40,700
we are officially
in garbage time, folks.
14
00:00:40,710 --> 00:00:43,280
Our only viewers left
are degenerate gamblers
15
00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:45,470
who've placed
longshot gimmick bets.
16
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,060
HOMER: You got to lose money
to make money.
17
00:00:48,070 --> 00:00:50,550
If either team
scores any points,
18
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,900
we'll be eating
name-brand ramen tonight.
19
00:00:52,900 --> 00:00:56,390
Let's go, either team!
Any points! Any points!
20
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,740
TV SPORTSCASTER: As the seconds
tick off the clock,
21
00:00:57,740 --> 00:01:01,080
the Molecules are going
for a meaningless field goal
22
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:02,910
to humiliate the home team.
23
00:01:02,910 --> 00:01:05,150
Yes, yes, humiliate us.
24
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:06,820
Come on, lucky ring.
25
00:01:06,830 --> 00:01:09,160
You tricked Marge into staying
with me, you can do this.
26
00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:10,330
TV SPORTSCASTER:
And the kick is good.
27
00:01:10,330 --> 00:01:12,980
The Atoms lose 45 to zero.
28
00:01:12,980 --> 00:01:15,510
Woo-hoo! You did it, points.
29
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,510
D'oh!
30
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,170
(grunting)
31
00:01:22,170 --> 00:01:25,730
Okay, my ring's got to be
down here somewhere.
32
00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:30,330
Man, I got to get a handyman.
33
00:01:30,330 --> 00:01:32,590
We used to have the greatest
guy, what was his name?
34
00:01:32,590 --> 00:01:34,320
Dave? Darryl?
35
00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:40,120
(ghostly cackling)
36
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,120
(gasps) Is that a ghost?
37
00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:45,190
If so, that means
the afterlife is real,
38
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,460
which would free me
from my fear of death.
39
00:01:47,460 --> 00:01:49,530
(gasps) Please be a ghost.
(gasps)
40
00:01:49,530 --> 00:01:51,780
The ring.
41
00:01:51,780 --> 00:01:53,110
Huh? Another the ring?
42
00:01:53,110 --> 00:01:54,280
(hisses)
43
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,540
(screams) Polecat!
44
00:01:55,540 --> 00:01:58,570
Okay, little skunk,
everything's cool.
45
00:01:58,580 --> 00:02:02,210
I'll just back away calmly,
leave you alone,
46
00:02:02,210 --> 00:02:04,710
and hire someone to kill you.
47
00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:06,200
(soft footsteps)
48
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,960
-(both hiss)
-(gasps) More.
49
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:11,700
-(hissing)
-It's a stink of skunks.
50
00:02:11,710 --> 00:02:13,980
(whimpering)
51
00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:16,540
Marge, kids, remember me
how I used to smell,
52
00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:19,060
not as the horrible stench
I'm about to become.
53
00:02:19,060 --> 00:02:22,380
I love you all,
to varying degrees.
54
00:02:22,380 --> 00:02:24,220
(screams)
55
00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:26,810
Ooh, my ring. (screams)
56
00:02:26,810 --> 00:02:29,310
(both laugh)
57
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:32,560
This is my new
desert island show.
58
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,500
All right, turn around
and spread 'em.
59
00:02:37,580 --> 00:02:40,840
Ow! Oh. (laughs)
60
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,680
Ooh. Ow!
61
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,010
More, please.
62
00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:47,240
Ew, caramba!
63
00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:50,000
Shouldn't you throw
those clothes out?
64
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,410
Rather than clean them?
65
00:02:51,410 --> 00:02:53,250
Don't rob me of the one part
66
00:02:53,250 --> 00:02:55,750
of your dad getting
skunk-sprayed I enjoy.
67
00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:58,780
All I need is this pillowcase
and my secret ingredients.
68
00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,930
Wow, that took care
of the skunk smell
69
00:03:08,930 --> 00:03:10,190
and the Homer smell.
70
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,100
That's amazing, Mom.
71
00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:14,100
How did you learn to do that?
72
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:15,540
Years of practice.
73
00:03:15,550 --> 00:03:19,510
Your father has brought home
so many different smells.
74
00:03:26,370 --> 00:03:29,060
This bag cleans them all.
75
00:03:29,060 --> 00:03:31,230
Wow, an innovation like this
76
00:03:31,230 --> 00:03:33,470
could really better
the lives of people
77
00:03:33,470 --> 00:03:36,210
who don't have access
to washing machines.
78
00:03:36,220 --> 00:03:37,970
Ooh, like the homeless?
79
00:03:37,980 --> 00:03:39,480
You mean unhoused.
80
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:40,570
I do?
81
00:03:44,130 --> 00:03:46,720
How come all of these
pillowcases are blue?
82
00:03:46,730 --> 00:03:50,470
I think it's from my hair.
Not that I dye my hair.
83
00:03:50,470 --> 00:03:53,580
It's natural. It's just such
a vibrant natural blue that...
84
00:03:53,580 --> 00:03:56,750
It's okay, Mom.
The blue's a nice touch.
85
00:03:58,980 --> 00:04:00,480
It's a cleaning bag.
86
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,240
You shake your dirty clothes
in it, and they come out fresh.
87
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,510
Oh. Oh, you're already doing it.
88
00:04:07,410 --> 00:04:09,160
Ah, hot diggity.
89
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,080
I can finally get
my old job back
90
00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:14,480
as a stock image model
for "man in suit."
91
00:04:18,260 --> 00:04:21,180
Wow, them-there blue bags
are impressive.
92
00:04:21,190 --> 00:04:22,990
Can I give it a try?
93
00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:30,010
That bag of yours finally
cleaned my black hat.
94
00:04:30,010 --> 00:04:31,290
Yee-haw!
95
00:04:31,290 --> 00:04:34,180
Let me contribute $100
to your cause,
96
00:04:34,180 --> 00:04:35,940
a Texas penny.
97
00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:37,850
So, what's the name
of your charity?
98
00:04:37,850 --> 00:04:39,460
Oh, we don't have a charity.
99
00:04:39,460 --> 00:04:42,110
I guess you can
make it out to me.
100
00:04:42,110 --> 00:04:45,370
Uh, you see, this is money
I want to deduct
101
00:04:45,380 --> 00:04:47,690
while avoiding capital gains.
102
00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:51,620
So, I can only contribute
to a charitable foundation.
103
00:04:51,620 --> 00:04:54,050
A 501-C-HAW.
104
00:04:54,050 --> 00:04:56,390
(gasps) We should become
an actual charity.
105
00:04:56,390 --> 00:04:58,550
Think of how many
more people we would help.
106
00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:01,040
Doesn't that involve
a lot of paperwork?
107
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:02,540
You're in luck, little lady.
108
00:05:02,540 --> 00:05:06,100
I got me my accountant
right here.
109
00:05:07,470 --> 00:05:11,070
Golly. Here's your articles
of incorporation, ma'am.
110
00:05:11,070 --> 00:05:13,310
What do you want to call
that-there charity?
111
00:05:13,310 --> 00:05:16,160
Hmm... Why not call it...
112
00:05:16,170 --> 00:05:19,000
the Lisa M. Simpson Foundation.
113
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,670
Really?
114
00:05:20,670 --> 00:05:23,400
It was your passion for change
that got us here.
115
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,410
I just threw some powder
in a bag.
116
00:05:25,420 --> 00:05:27,920
Here's my charitable deduction.
117
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,400
I mean donation. I mean both.
118
00:05:30,410 --> 00:05:32,850
I love anything
that gets me out of taxes.
119
00:05:32,850 --> 00:05:34,020
Texas?
120
00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:36,670
No, taxes. I hate taxes,
121
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,430
but I love Texas
122
00:05:38,430 --> 00:05:42,250
'cause folks in Texas
love Texas and hates taxes.
123
00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:45,360
No taxing's what Texans
stand for.
124
00:05:49,030 --> 00:05:51,090
We're a charity!
125
00:05:51,090 --> 00:05:52,870
BOTH:
Yee-haw!
126
00:05:52,870 --> 00:05:55,620
-Yee-haw.
-Yee-haw, indeed.
127
00:06:00,210 --> 00:06:03,030
I used to ride the rails,
but 'cause of you,
128
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:06,380
I traded in my bindle
for a briefcase.
129
00:06:07,550 --> 00:06:10,110
We're really making a difference
in people's lives.
130
00:06:10,110 --> 00:06:11,370
Even Crazy Cat Lady.
131
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:14,710
She's giving walking tours
of Springfield now.
132
00:06:14,710 --> 00:06:17,620
(mumbling)
133
00:06:17,620 --> 00:06:20,210
(cats yowling)
134
00:06:20,210 --> 00:06:22,300
-(cameras clicking)
-(group aahing)
135
00:06:23,310 --> 00:06:25,050
Lisa, can you run over
to the market
136
00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:27,290
and get some more baking soda?
137
00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:30,460
Wait, we're using
Hand & Armor Baking Soda?
138
00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:34,220
That company is the worst.
They support child labor.
139
00:06:34,230 --> 00:06:37,580
Even some of their
top executives are children.
140
00:06:37,580 --> 00:06:40,750
MARGE: But the smiley hand
on the box is so cute.
141
00:06:40,750 --> 00:06:43,250
Our foundation only succeeds
if we're doing good
142
00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:44,490
every step of the way.
143
00:06:44,590 --> 00:06:47,500
We have to make sure that
every ingredient we use
144
00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:50,760
is ethically sourced,
even if it costs a little more.
145
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:52,320
Well, I can help with that.
146
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,260
I put the "fun mom"
147
00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:57,770
in the
"fundraising thermometer."
148
00:06:57,770 --> 00:06:59,580
(groans) Mom puns?
149
00:06:59,590 --> 00:07:02,010
I got to wash that
out of my ears.
150
00:07:02,010 --> 00:07:04,940
(grunting)
151
00:07:04,940 --> 00:07:06,670
Okay, while you're
raising money,
152
00:07:06,670 --> 00:07:09,940
I'll scour the world
for fair-trade, carbon-negative,
153
00:07:09,950 --> 00:07:12,260
conflict-free ingredients.
Dad can take me.
154
00:07:12,260 --> 00:07:16,010
Oh, that sounds terrible.
155
00:07:16,010 --> 00:07:17,690
Oh, it's even worse.
156
00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:20,290
I've got a good feeling about
the baking soda manufacturer
157
00:07:20,290 --> 00:07:22,680
at the top of this mountain.
158
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:26,520
Oh, why can't anything good ever
be at the bottom of a mountain?
159
00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:30,210
Our baking soda is actually
generated through meditation.
160
00:07:30,210 --> 00:07:32,360
Every ten boxes we make,
161
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,510
a new monk
reaches enlightenment.
162
00:07:38,530 --> 00:07:42,030
Oh, my God, I finally understand
the plot of Inception.
163
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,480
Now to ponder Tenet.
164
00:07:46,210 --> 00:07:47,980
LISA:
Oh...
165
00:07:47,980 --> 00:07:50,880
(sniffs) This is
the first empty fridge
166
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:51,970
I've ever liked.
167
00:07:51,970 --> 00:07:53,470
(sniffs)
168
00:07:53,470 --> 00:07:56,730
Oh, I'll take it.
How much is it?
169
00:07:56,730 --> 00:07:58,990
We don't believe
in worldly possessions,
170
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:02,070
so you won't have any
after you buy it.
171
00:08:02,070 --> 00:08:04,500
(whistles)
172
00:08:05,580 --> 00:08:06,710
(phone whooshes)
173
00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:09,910
(phone whooshes)
174
00:08:09,910 --> 00:08:11,080
Show your support
175
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,990
for the Lisa M. Simpson
Foundation.
176
00:08:13,990 --> 00:08:15,340
Hey, this corner belongs
to the Salvation Army.
177
00:08:15,350 --> 00:08:18,010
Give me that tin
and get out of here.
178
00:08:18,010 --> 00:08:19,850
Unless you'd like
to donate blood.
179
00:08:19,850 --> 00:08:22,390
(bell rings)
180
00:08:23,410 --> 00:08:25,690
Oh, Marge, that was terrible.
181
00:08:25,690 --> 00:08:28,100
Who knew a religious nonprofit
182
00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:30,170
could be so "holier than thou"?
183
00:08:30,180 --> 00:08:34,010
As a pillar of the community,
a doctor's wife,
184
00:08:34,010 --> 00:08:35,850
I know the secret
185
00:08:35,850 --> 00:08:37,970
to running a successful charity.
186
00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:40,350
Ooh, can you tell it to me?
187
00:08:40,350 --> 00:08:43,190
Even better,
I can sing it to you.
188
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,360
Um... I'm good, actually...
189
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:49,040
♪ It's time to stop
thinking small ♪
190
00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:51,550
♪ You got to dress up
like an heiress ♪
191
00:08:51,550 --> 00:08:54,290
♪ But what's the point
of this fancy ball? ♪
192
00:08:54,290 --> 00:08:56,030
♪ Why, dear,
to raise awareness ♪
193
00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:59,370
♪ Your charity
has to stand out ♪
194
00:08:59,370 --> 00:09:02,370
♪ From all the other ones
with their hand out ♪
195
00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:04,390
♪ Sadly, I'm a little squarish ♪
196
00:09:04,390 --> 00:09:06,730
♪ Honey, you need
to get more garish ♪
197
00:09:06,730 --> 00:09:09,550
♪ There's no better way
to show compassion ♪
198
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:12,070
♪ Than trotting out
a few Kardashians ♪
199
00:09:12,070 --> 00:09:14,640
♪ Don't mean to sound like
I'm giving orders ♪
200
00:09:14,650 --> 00:09:18,480
♪ But destroy those
Doctors Without Borders ♪
201
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,410
♪ And to really get
your donors givin' ♪
202
00:09:20,410 --> 00:09:23,890
♪ Your charity needs a ribbon ♪
203
00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:24,910
♪ It should be something blue ♪
204
00:09:24,910 --> 00:09:27,920
♪ This one here will do ♪
205
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:29,420
♪ Get the ribbons everywhere ♪
206
00:09:29,420 --> 00:09:32,400
♪ So there's not a patch
of bareness ♪
207
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:35,260
♪ Once everyone is sick of it ♪
208
00:09:35,260 --> 00:09:37,980
♪ We've reached
peak awareness. ♪
209
00:09:37,990 --> 00:09:40,080
Oh.
210
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,460
I love our new offices.
211
00:09:42,470 --> 00:09:44,100
Well, it used to be
a WeWork space,
212
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:47,330
then a Theranos lab,
then production offices
213
00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:49,440
for the WeWork
and Theranos TV shows.
214
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:52,180
Those businesses must have been
such successes
215
00:09:52,180 --> 00:09:55,000
to have TV shows
made about them.
216
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,360
Mm.
217
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,360
Is it a little strange that
218
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:03,430
everyone has to walk through my
office to get to the bathroom?
219
00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,850
That's your private bathroom.
220
00:10:05,850 --> 00:10:08,270
(gasps) A husbandless bathroom?
221
00:10:08,270 --> 00:10:10,370
I won't need a candle.
222
00:10:10,370 --> 00:10:12,290
Our "Feeling Blue"
awareness campaign
223
00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:14,440
is really hitting its stride.
224
00:10:14,450 --> 00:10:17,110
Look at all these products
supporting our cause
225
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,120
with our copyrighted
shade of blue:
226
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:21,140
blue shampoo, blue conditioner,
227
00:10:21,140 --> 00:10:23,450
blue shampoo plus conditioner,
228
00:10:23,460 --> 00:10:26,790
and Boo Berry cereal will be
called Blueberry cereal.
229
00:10:26,790 --> 00:10:28,140
LISA:
Mom.
230
00:10:28,140 --> 00:10:29,540
Look at all these people.
231
00:10:29,540 --> 00:10:32,810
Our little charity
has become big.
232
00:10:32,820 --> 00:10:34,370
Check out our official symbol.
233
00:10:34,380 --> 00:10:37,230
It's the same ribbon we use
to tie the blue bags.
234
00:10:37,230 --> 00:10:38,380
They've become so popular
235
00:10:38,380 --> 00:10:41,820
we've completely
run out of ribbons.
236
00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:45,220
So what do you tie
the bags with?
237
00:10:45,220 --> 00:10:47,500
Well, we're a little behind
in our bag making,
238
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:49,390
but we've been doing something
even more important:
239
00:10:49,390 --> 00:10:52,820
raising awareness
about our bag making.
240
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:56,430
This is all very impressive,
but do we really need
241
00:10:56,430 --> 00:10:57,490
a headquarters this big?
242
00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,900
Oh, this isn't gonna be
our headquarters.
243
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:02,180
This is.
244
00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:05,000
How on earth are we
paying for that?
245
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:09,070
With a generous deduction--
I mean, I mean, donation--
246
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:12,590
from our Royal Blue level donor:
Mr. Burns.
247
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:16,320
What? He is the biggest
polluter in town.
248
00:11:22,770 --> 00:11:23,940
Excellent.
249
00:11:23,940 --> 00:11:26,520
Honey, if we don't accept
the money,
250
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,110
he'll just give it
to someone else,
251
00:11:28,110 --> 00:11:31,960
like the Salvation Army.
(groans)
252
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:35,270
We have to return Burns's money.
253
00:11:35,270 --> 00:11:37,270
Return the money?
254
00:11:37,270 --> 00:11:39,860
While you and Dad were tromping
around in the mountains,
255
00:11:39,870 --> 00:11:41,460
I was building an organization
256
00:11:41,460 --> 00:11:43,880
that can make
real change happen.
257
00:11:43,890 --> 00:11:45,460
With what? This?
258
00:11:45,460 --> 00:11:49,470
Mom, you're just allowing
evil companies to appear ethical
259
00:11:49,470 --> 00:11:52,300
by slapping our color
on their product.
260
00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:55,800
It's bluewashing.
That doesn't help the homeless.
261
00:11:55,810 --> 00:11:58,070
We call them the unhoused.
262
00:11:58,070 --> 00:12:00,290
I call them the unhoused!
263
00:12:00,290 --> 00:12:02,460
Ugh! You've lost sight
264
00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:04,960
of my vision for this charity.
265
00:12:04,970 --> 00:12:07,150
I thought it was our charity.
266
00:12:07,150 --> 00:12:09,800
Well, it's my name on the wall.
267
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,320
Well, it's my hair color.
268
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,470
-It's Clairol's color!
-(gasps)
269
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:17,640
Okay, this clearly
got out of hand.
270
00:12:17,650 --> 00:12:20,380
Why don't we take
a little breather.
271
00:12:21,830 --> 00:12:24,070
Okay, have we both calmed down?
272
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:25,650
I don't need to calm down.
273
00:12:25,650 --> 00:12:26,590
I'm your mother.
274
00:12:26,990 --> 00:12:29,250
I think I know you better
than you know yourself.
275
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:30,990
Oh, you're making
my future therapist
276
00:12:30,990 --> 00:12:34,660
so rich right now.
277
00:12:34,660 --> 00:12:35,840
Maybe we should take
278
00:12:35,850 --> 00:12:37,940
a little bit longer of a break.
279
00:12:37,940 --> 00:12:40,020
Same time tomorrow.
280
00:12:41,690 --> 00:12:43,020
Okay, are you better?
281
00:12:43,020 --> 00:12:45,030
(groaning)
282
00:12:48,930 --> 00:12:50,280
Okay, this feels good.
283
00:12:50,290 --> 00:12:53,180
I think that last break
was the clincher.
284
00:12:53,180 --> 00:12:55,790
One more and we get
a free sundae. (chuckles)
285
00:12:55,790 --> 00:12:57,350
I have some good news.
286
00:12:57,350 --> 00:12:59,350
The board has decided
to promote you
287
00:12:59,350 --> 00:13:01,950
to "The Lisa M. Simpson
Foundation
288
00:13:01,950 --> 00:13:04,950
Founder Emeritus."
289
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,690
Wait... emeritus?
290
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,190
I know what that means.
291
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,120
You're firing me?
292
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,810
No, we're just
de-responsibilitizing you.
293
00:13:13,810 --> 00:13:15,980
Congratulations.
294
00:13:15,980 --> 00:13:17,630
Here's your check.
295
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,060
Would you like to round up
with a donation
296
00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:22,060
to the Lisa M. Simpson
Foundation?
297
00:13:22,060 --> 00:13:25,240
No! I never want to hear
that name again.
298
00:13:26,470 --> 00:13:29,970
It's my favorite student,
Lisa M. Simpson.
299
00:13:29,980 --> 00:13:32,140
-(grunts)
-(muffled groan)
300
00:13:32,140 --> 00:13:35,500
There, now you got ice cream.
Let's go.
301
00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:41,340
Yeah, I heard about
what happened.
302
00:13:41,340 --> 00:13:43,560
That I was forced out
by my own mother
303
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:46,250
from the charity
we created together?
304
00:13:46,250 --> 00:13:48,180
I've never been fired before.
305
00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:50,090
What am I supposed to do?
306
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:54,090
You don't know how long
I've been waiting for this.
307
00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:55,420
Finally,
I can pass down to my kids
308
00:13:55,430 --> 00:13:59,410
my vast knowledge about
what I'm truly amazing at:
309
00:13:59,410 --> 00:14:02,170
-being canned.
-Really?
310
00:14:02,170 --> 00:14:05,340
Oh, being fired is basically
my job these days.
311
00:14:05,340 --> 00:14:08,030
In fact, I was fired yesterday
because of all the time I took
312
00:14:08,030 --> 00:14:09,530
looking for ingredients
with you.
313
00:14:09,530 --> 00:14:12,030
(scoffs) At least you don't
have to live in the same house
314
00:14:12,030 --> 00:14:14,280
as the jerk who fired you.
315
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,610
Ah, anger.
316
00:14:15,610 --> 00:14:18,950
The first stage in the
five stages of getting fired.
317
00:14:18,950 --> 00:14:21,190
Oh, so there's
a process to this?
318
00:14:21,190 --> 00:14:22,530
What's stage two?
319
00:14:22,530 --> 00:14:24,880
Pretending you still have a job.
320
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,380
MARGE:
Homer, can you
take out the garbage?
321
00:14:27,380 --> 00:14:30,430
Oh, sorry, honey.
I'm late for work. Let's go.
322
00:14:32,370 --> 00:14:35,220
So, how long do we have to sit
in this coffee shop?
323
00:14:35,220 --> 00:14:37,870
Until my boss realizes
he made a huge mistake firing me
324
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:39,450
and begs me to come back,
325
00:14:39,450 --> 00:14:42,050
but instead
I pour macaroni salad
326
00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:43,790
into his sunroof.
327
00:14:43,790 --> 00:14:45,640
Wasn't anger stage one?
328
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,480
That was righteous anger.
329
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,810
This is misdirected anger!
(grunts)
330
00:14:49,810 --> 00:14:53,370
Ah, stage three.
331
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:59,410
Hi, Lisa. I see you're
still on the couch.
332
00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:00,730
How you doing?
333
00:15:00,730 --> 00:15:03,730
I'd be doing a lot better
if you moved that body
334
00:15:03,740 --> 00:15:05,480
I "ruined in childbirth."
335
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,660
-I ruined it first. (slurps)
-(sighs)
336
00:15:07,670 --> 00:15:12,000
Lisa and I aren't supposed to
have doomsday fights like this
337
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,580
until she's 14.
338
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:16,580
She always was precocious.
(sighs) Oh...
339
00:15:16,580 --> 00:15:19,340
Now all she does
is lie around watching TV.
340
00:15:19,340 --> 00:15:22,660
That's stage four:
"glowering without showering."
341
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:25,830
But don't worry,
we're almost at stage five:
342
00:15:25,830 --> 00:15:27,350
"reluctant acceptance."
343
00:15:27,350 --> 00:15:28,520
You'll have your daughter back,
344
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:32,020
and I won't have to
keep making up stages.
345
00:15:32,020 --> 00:15:34,280
Hey, Mom, I wanted to say...
346
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,780
you worked so hard
to make our charity
347
00:15:36,790 --> 00:15:38,510
a successful organization.
348
00:15:38,510 --> 00:15:40,530
And then I came in
criticizing it
349
00:15:40,530 --> 00:15:43,610
and making you feel bad.
I'm sorry.
350
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,680
Oh, sweetie.
351
00:15:45,690 --> 00:15:47,110
Mm, mm.
352
00:15:47,110 --> 00:15:48,800
So, I'll see you
at the grand opening
353
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:53,030
of the Lisa M. Simpson
Foundation Headquarters tonight?
354
00:15:53,030 --> 00:15:55,030
Of course.
355
00:15:55,030 --> 00:15:57,030
I'm proud of you, honey.
356
00:15:57,030 --> 00:15:58,880
You're now ready for stage six:
357
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:01,220
buy podcasting equipment
358
00:16:01,220 --> 00:16:03,980
but never unbox it.
359
00:16:03,980 --> 00:16:06,980
And we successfully sued
Pabst Blue Ribbon
360
00:16:06,980 --> 00:16:08,650
for using our trademark symbol.
361
00:16:08,650 --> 00:16:12,470
From now on, they'll be known
as Pabst Teal Fabric Bow.
362
00:16:12,470 --> 00:16:15,320
Our awareness is at
an all-time high.
363
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:18,480
That's great. I guess now
we can put our efforts
364
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,740
into helping people
on the streets.
365
00:16:22,810 --> 00:16:26,240
As the wife of a surgeon,
I'm all about helping people,
366
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:29,000
but we're a mega-successful
nonprofit,
367
00:16:29,010 --> 00:16:30,580
not some charity.
368
00:16:30,580 --> 00:16:33,250
As the wife of a radiologist,
I agree.
369
00:16:33,250 --> 00:16:35,510
But what about
all the big donations...
370
00:16:35,510 --> 00:16:38,510
I mean deductions
we got from companies
371
00:16:38,510 --> 00:16:41,180
for letting them put our logo
on their products?
372
00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:43,930
Marge, we didn't get money
for that.
373
00:16:43,930 --> 00:16:46,500
The companies paid us
in awareness.
374
00:16:46,510 --> 00:16:49,360
But when do we start
helping people?
375
00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:52,610
My wife's a dermatologist.
376
00:17:03,260 --> 00:17:05,990
Oh, God, Lisa was right.
377
00:17:05,990 --> 00:17:08,380
We have been bluewashing.
378
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:13,550
I don't deserve to walk
on the blue carpet.
379
00:17:13,550 --> 00:17:15,380
Take me around back.
380
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:20,300
Mm, all this opulence
is making me queasy.
381
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:23,390
Oh, Lisa, queasiness
is just hunger in disguise,
382
00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:25,470
like how a hangover
means you should drink more.
383
00:17:25,470 --> 00:17:28,880
Okay, boy, what's your intel
on the passed app situation?
384
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:30,460
We got mini quiches on our six
385
00:17:30,460 --> 00:17:32,230
and ahi tuna cones
at ten and two.
386
00:17:32,230 --> 00:17:35,390
Fan out, and don't fall
for the bruschetta.
387
00:17:35,390 --> 00:17:37,310
It's a trap to fill you up.
388
00:17:37,310 --> 00:17:40,240
It's an honor to be
your chicken wing man.
389
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,280
♪
390
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,480
(groans softly)
391
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:53,480
Gil? What are you doing here?
392
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,320
I thought our blue bag
turned your life around.
393
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,670
Ah, well, it did, for a bit,
but then they demolished
394
00:17:58,670 --> 00:18:01,910
the low-income housing
I was living in to build that.
395
00:18:01,910 --> 00:18:04,170
Now ol' Gil is homeless.
396
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,840
You mean unhoused?
397
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,010
I'm living in a tent
on a sidewalk
398
00:18:08,010 --> 00:18:09,940
and people yell at me
for it every day.
399
00:18:09,940 --> 00:18:11,660
I can call it whatever I want.
400
00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:14,480
(grunts)
401
00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:18,260
(orchestra playing
classical music)
402
00:18:18,260 --> 00:18:19,840
-(strings scratch)
-(music stops)
403
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:24,620
And here's the CEO of
the Lisa M. Simpson Foundation,
404
00:18:24,620 --> 00:18:26,180
Marge Simpson.
405
00:18:26,180 --> 00:18:28,030
(cheering)
406
00:18:28,030 --> 00:18:30,680
I would like to thank
all of you for coming.
407
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:34,130
Actually, I would like to judge
all of you for coming.
408
00:18:34,130 --> 00:18:35,610
-Huh?
-(overlapping chatter)
409
00:18:35,610 --> 00:18:39,190
This charity was supposed
to help the homeless.
410
00:18:39,190 --> 00:18:41,030
Instead,
we evicted people to build
411
00:18:41,030 --> 00:18:42,790
this extravagant headquarters,
412
00:18:42,790 --> 00:18:45,700
creating more homelessness.
413
00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:46,840
More homeless on the street
414
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:49,130
will help raise awareness.
415
00:18:49,130 --> 00:18:51,200
I'm done with raising awareness
416
00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:52,480
and with raising money
417
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:55,370
and with razing
low-income housing.
418
00:18:55,380 --> 00:18:58,150
It's time to turn
the Lisa M. Simpson Foundation
419
00:18:58,150 --> 00:18:59,380
over to the one person
420
00:18:59,380 --> 00:19:02,210
who knew how to run it right
all along,
421
00:19:02,220 --> 00:19:04,140
Lisa Simpson.
422
00:19:04,140 --> 00:19:06,140
(overlapping chatter)
423
00:19:06,140 --> 00:19:08,400
Lisa Simpson's a real person?
424
00:19:08,410 --> 00:19:12,070
Thanks, Mom.
As co-head of this organization,
425
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:15,230
I'm turning this building
into a shelter
426
00:19:15,230 --> 00:19:17,250
-for the unhoused.
-(crowd gasping)
427
00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:19,010
Marge, you have to
shut this down.
428
00:19:19,010 --> 00:19:21,920
No, I have to open this up.
429
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,070
(overlapping chatter)
430
00:19:24,070 --> 00:19:26,240
(gasps) They don't know
which fork to use.
431
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,680
She's wearing a dress
I gave away.
432
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:33,250
(blubbers) That's the man I had
in my windshield for a night.
433
00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:35,000
Enough of this do-goodery.
434
00:19:35,010 --> 00:19:36,510
Open your eyes, rich people.
435
00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:38,600
We're not here to help
the less fortunate,
436
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,340
we're here to bask
in our fortunateness.
437
00:19:41,350 --> 00:19:43,180
If we really wanted
to make a difference,
438
00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:45,940
we'd do the one thing
we've spent our lives avoiding,
439
00:19:45,940 --> 00:19:47,780
paying our taxes.
440
00:19:47,780 --> 00:19:50,100
(laughter)
441
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:52,780
Then one organization,
"the government,"
442
00:19:52,780 --> 00:19:54,930
could tackle all
of society's ills,
443
00:19:54,940 --> 00:19:57,450
instead of leaving it
to 1.5 million separate
444
00:19:57,450 --> 00:20:01,550
ego-driven micro-bureaucracies
called "charities,"
445
00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:04,960
including-- get a load
of this scam-- religions.
446
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:07,300
But no one here wants
the rational way.
447
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:10,130
We all want the United Way
448
00:20:10,130 --> 00:20:12,450
because that's the American way.
449
00:20:12,450 --> 00:20:15,300
Now, I paid $10,000
for this table.
450
00:20:15,310 --> 00:20:17,480
I'm taking it with me.
451
00:20:20,890 --> 00:20:24,460
Thank you, Mom. You did
something really great tonight.
452
00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:27,410
Now, let's turn this building
over to the homeless.
453
00:20:27,410 --> 00:20:30,450
Yes. We just need
to get this notarized.
454
00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:34,810
LISA and MARGE:
Yee-haw!
455
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,330
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
456
00:20:37,330 --> 00:20:38,990
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
457
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,650
and TOYOTA.
458
00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:43,470
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
459
00:20:47,490 --> 00:20:49,840
(screams, moans)
460
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,580
(laughs, shudders)
461
00:20:52,580 --> 00:20:55,990
(laughs) Ooh.
462
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,600
-Ow!
-(Marge sighs)
463
00:20:57,610 --> 00:20:59,010
Mmm. (moans)
464
00:20:59,020 --> 00:21:02,090
(laughs)
465
00:21:02,090 --> 00:21:04,780
(screams) Ow! Oh!
466
00:21:04,780 --> 00:21:06,340
(screams)
467
00:21:06,340 --> 00:21:10,620
-(moans)
-(Marge sighs)
468
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:30,470
Shh!
34186
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