Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,188 --> 00:00:03,898
Hey, what's up, little man?
2
00:00:04,099 --> 00:00:05,492
Oh, hi, Mr. Calvin.
3
00:00:05,517 --> 00:00:07,765
Me and my dad are about
to do some hoops.
4
00:00:08,539 --> 00:00:10,921
I think you mean "shoot some hoops."
5
00:00:10,946 --> 00:00:12,484
No, he doesn't.
6
00:00:14,375 --> 00:00:17,296
Tryouts for the Walcott Academy
Hula-Hoop squad are next week,
7
00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:20,171
and Grover's got to
get his game hips on.
8
00:00:22,525 --> 00:00:24,157
- Hula-Hoop tryouts?
- Mm-hmm.
9
00:00:24,212 --> 00:00:25,226
Don't you just show up
10
00:00:25,251 --> 00:00:27,486
and any kid who has asthma is in?
11
00:00:27,924 --> 00:00:29,945
Actually, it is very competitive.
12
00:00:29,970 --> 00:00:31,768
It's the second most
popular sport at school,
13
00:00:31,793 --> 00:00:33,078
after Mathletics.
14
00:00:33,344 --> 00:00:34,890
And that one's for nerds.
15
00:00:37,695 --> 00:00:39,646
So, are you telling me that no one
16
00:00:39,671 --> 00:00:42,757
at this little hippie school
of yours plays real sports?
17
00:00:43,361 --> 00:00:45,750
How do you tell the cool
kids from the losers?
18
00:00:46,406 --> 00:00:48,976
Oh, Caleb's definitely cool.
19
00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:51,869
He can Hula-Hoop around his neck.
20
00:00:53,143 --> 00:00:55,845
And his dad won't let anyone forget it.
21
00:00:56,492 --> 00:00:58,877
Okay, listen to me, Dave.
22
00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:01,117
Look, the youth basketball team I coach
23
00:01:01,142 --> 00:01:02,523
is starting a new season.
24
00:01:02,736 --> 00:01:05,140
Do Grover a favor... let him join us.
25
00:01:11,345 --> 00:01:13,012
Like, right now.
26
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,455
I don't know. You know,
Grover's never played
27
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:18,080
organized sports before.
28
00:01:18,285 --> 00:01:20,053
Come on, Dave, it'll be good for him.
29
00:01:20,078 --> 00:01:22,007
Like... look, I don't like to brag,
30
00:01:22,032 --> 00:01:24,179
but I'm the best coach in town.
31
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:27,742
Maybe in all of California.
32
00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,115
I guess it would be good for Grover
33
00:01:31,140 --> 00:01:32,716
to learn about winning and losing.
34
00:01:32,741 --> 00:01:34,117
Not on my team.
35
00:01:34,245 --> 00:01:37,070
No, we've gone undefeated
the last two seasons.
36
00:01:37,208 --> 00:01:39,914
He's gonna have to learn
that losing part from you.
37
00:01:41,186 --> 00:01:42,687
All right, what do you say, bud?
38
00:01:42,712 --> 00:01:44,882
You want to join Mr.
Calvin's basketball team?
39
00:01:45,009 --> 00:01:46,663
Sure. Sounds fun.
40
00:01:46,688 --> 00:01:50,640
Great. Practice starts
tomorrow, but for now,
41
00:01:51,358 --> 00:01:53,031
why don't you show me what you got.
42
00:01:53,056 --> 00:01:55,091
- All right, now, come on, buddy.
- All right.
43
00:01:55,411 --> 00:01:57,312
Show him those Johnson skills.
44
00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,054
CALVIN: Come on. All right.
45
00:02:01,772 --> 00:02:03,804
(GRUNTS)
46
00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:09,218
You know what, uh, let's
try it with this one.
47
00:02:10,182 --> 00:02:12,725
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
48
00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:14,421
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
49
00:02:23,204 --> 00:02:24,438
Hey, Mom..
50
00:02:24,463 --> 00:02:26,320
Hey. How was basketball practice?
51
00:02:26,345 --> 00:02:28,530
It was great! Coach Calvin made me
52
00:02:28,555 --> 00:02:31,023
the most important position on the team.
53
00:02:31,223 --> 00:02:33,281
Really? That's incredible.
54
00:02:33,306 --> 00:02:34,835
What are you, the point guard?
55
00:02:34,860 --> 00:02:35,890
Better.
56
00:02:35,915 --> 00:02:37,682
The equipment manager!
57
00:02:41,966 --> 00:02:44,467
What? You can't be the
equipment manager.
58
00:02:44,492 --> 00:02:46,388
That's the job they give the kids who...
59
00:02:46,413 --> 00:02:49,420
Who care the most about the team.
60
00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:52,931
It's so cool.
61
00:02:52,956 --> 00:02:56,038
I'm in charge of the
basketballs and towels,
62
00:02:56,063 --> 00:02:59,347
and no one gets Gatorade
without going through me.
63
00:02:59,372 --> 00:03:00,940
Mm.
64
00:03:01,199 --> 00:03:03,187
Yeah, he might not need
to wear a cup, but...
65
00:03:03,212 --> 00:03:05,562
(CHUCKLES) he sure can fill one.
66
00:03:06,423 --> 00:03:09,398
I'm gonna go practice
handing out orange slices.
67
00:03:11,299 --> 00:03:13,945
If only Caleb could see me now.
68
00:03:15,073 --> 00:03:16,874
Yeah, you go get 'em, son!
69
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,991
Kid's got a heart of a champion.
70
00:03:20,397 --> 00:03:21,702
No, what the kid has got is
71
00:03:21,727 --> 00:03:23,977
the most embarrassing job on the team.
72
00:03:24,002 --> 00:03:26,291
Ugh! Being the equipment
manager is like being
73
00:03:26,316 --> 00:03:28,317
the tree in the school play.
74
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:31,171
Hey, I was the tree in the school play.
75
00:03:33,115 --> 00:03:35,339
Don't throw shade until
you've provided it.
76
00:03:35,364 --> 00:03:36,781
Oh, God.
77
00:03:38,431 --> 00:03:41,023
Seriously, how could you
let Calvin do that to him?
78
00:03:41,048 --> 00:03:42,602
Oh, well, Gemma... (SIGHS)
79
00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:44,307
he was awful.
80
00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:46,406
I mean, he couldn't
shoot, he couldn't pass,
81
00:03:46,431 --> 00:03:49,271
and when he jumped, I
don't know, somehow...
82
00:03:49,616 --> 00:03:51,190
he got lower.
83
00:03:53,197 --> 00:03:55,070
How is that even possible?
84
00:03:55,145 --> 00:03:56,479
No one knows.
85
00:03:56,836 --> 00:03:59,073
♪
86
00:04:01,417 --> 00:04:03,682
Aw, how about this one?
87
00:04:03,707 --> 00:04:05,831
Your old hall monitor vest.
88
00:04:08,132 --> 00:04:09,592
Keep or trash it?
89
00:04:09,738 --> 00:04:12,328
Uh, trash. I don't want
to be one of those guys
90
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:13,814
that's stuck in his glory days.
91
00:04:13,928 --> 00:04:15,529
(CHUCKLES)
92
00:04:16,591 --> 00:04:18,641
Whoa, what is going on in here?
93
00:04:18,666 --> 00:04:21,703
Looks like somebody turned a
nerd upside down and shook him.
94
00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:23,462
(LAUGHS)
95
00:04:23,487 --> 00:04:26,349
No, we're just clearing out a
few of Marty's old things.
96
00:04:26,374 --> 00:04:28,042
Your father was complaining
about my stuff
97
00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:29,534
crowding his side of the closet.
98
00:04:29,610 --> 00:04:31,711
Oh, so you're moving
some of your stuff here?
99
00:04:31,736 --> 00:04:33,274
No, his.
100
00:04:33,998 --> 00:04:35,526
And if he complains again,
101
00:04:35,551 --> 00:04:36,987
he's getting moved here, too.
102
00:04:38,079 --> 00:04:41,281
Hey, check it out... my
old snake terrarium.
103
00:04:41,306 --> 00:04:43,290
Oh, yeah, I remember Slinky.
104
00:04:43,391 --> 00:04:45,589
You thought you would look
cool showing up at parties
105
00:04:45,614 --> 00:04:47,014
with a snake around your neck.
106
00:04:47,311 --> 00:04:49,612
Well, I would have if he hadn't escaped.
107
00:04:49,772 --> 00:04:51,792
Or if you were ever invited to a party.
108
00:04:51,957 --> 00:04:53,070
(CHUCKLING)
109
00:04:53,199 --> 00:04:55,414
Malcolm, stop being so
mean to your brother.
110
00:04:55,439 --> 00:04:57,056
- Yeah, thanks, Mom.
- Now, get your old,
111
00:04:57,081 --> 00:04:58,430
stupid childhood crap out of here.
112
00:04:58,455 --> 00:05:01,511
(CHUCKLING): Out of here.
113
00:05:02,658 --> 00:05:05,059
I don't blame Slinky for running away.
114
00:05:05,284 --> 00:05:07,306
I would take off, too, if my owner was
115
00:05:07,331 --> 00:05:09,686
an "Official Klingon Ambassador."
116
00:05:11,135 --> 00:05:13,440
Well, actually...
117
00:05:14,017 --> 00:05:16,276
Slinky didn't exactly run away.
118
00:05:16,557 --> 00:05:17,690
What?
119
00:05:17,715 --> 00:05:19,153
Ooh, I hated that thing.
120
00:05:19,178 --> 00:05:20,712
It freaked the hell out of me.
121
00:05:21,486 --> 00:05:24,282
So, one day, you boys were in school,
122
00:05:24,307 --> 00:05:27,258
and I put it in a bag and
drove it to the woods.
123
00:05:29,565 --> 00:05:31,124
You let it go?
124
00:05:31,149 --> 00:05:32,709
Yeah, let's go with that.
125
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,296
I can't believe Marty never found out.
126
00:05:36,321 --> 00:05:38,130
And he never will, right?
127
00:05:38,384 --> 00:05:40,922
Hey, well, don't worry,
I did not hear a thing.
128
00:05:40,947 --> 00:05:42,548
- Yeah.
- (CHUCKLES)
129
00:05:42,573 --> 00:05:44,399
But I did!
130
00:05:45,744 --> 00:05:47,678
(SOBBING)
131
00:05:48,239 --> 00:05:50,476
♪
132
00:05:51,975 --> 00:05:53,646
Calvin.
133
00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:55,974
Oh. Hey, Gemma.
134
00:05:55,999 --> 00:05:57,233
Equipment manager?
135
00:05:57,258 --> 00:05:59,470
You made my son the equipment manager?
136
00:05:59,495 --> 00:06:00,904
Hey.
137
00:06:01,262 --> 00:06:04,198
It's the most important
person on the team...
138
00:06:04,710 --> 00:06:07,118
who's not technically on the team.
139
00:06:08,881 --> 00:06:11,040
Calvin, I played varsity lacrosse,
140
00:06:11,065 --> 00:06:13,374
and we all know what happens
to equipment managers.
141
00:06:13,399 --> 00:06:16,294
They get teased and shoved into lockers.
142
00:06:16,487 --> 00:06:19,743
- At least that's what we did to ours.
- (CHUCKLES)
143
00:06:19,768 --> 00:06:22,282
Yeah, those were the
good old days, right?
144
00:06:22,456 --> 00:06:25,845
I stuffed more geeks into
lockers than I did books.
145
00:06:27,157 --> 00:06:29,493
Calvin, being on a team
made me resilient.
146
00:06:29,518 --> 00:06:30,900
It toughened me up.
147
00:06:30,925 --> 00:06:32,593
And that's what I want for Grover.
148
00:06:32,765 --> 00:06:34,311
But... (SIGHS)
149
00:06:34,489 --> 00:06:36,980
he's the worst player I've ever coached.
150
00:06:37,454 --> 00:06:39,526
And I coached Marty.
151
00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:43,196
It was one practice.
152
00:06:43,221 --> 00:06:44,822
I'm sure he'll get better.
153
00:06:45,087 --> 00:06:46,564
Besides, I thought you told Dave
154
00:06:46,589 --> 00:06:48,724
you were the best coach in the world.
155
00:06:49,221 --> 00:06:51,161
I never said that.
156
00:06:51,186 --> 00:06:52,883
I'm not an egomaniac.
157
00:06:52,908 --> 00:06:53,973
(SCOFFS)
158
00:06:53,998 --> 00:06:55,707
I said California.
159
00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:58,951
Look, it was your idea
160
00:06:58,976 --> 00:07:01,046
to put him on the team in
the first place, so...
161
00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:02,631
put him on the team.
162
00:07:02,752 --> 00:07:06,386
Unless you want to be
stuffed into a locker.
163
00:07:12,505 --> 00:07:14,706
(FOOTSTEPS STOMPING UP STEPS)
164
00:07:14,731 --> 00:07:16,812
- (DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
- Wow.
165
00:07:16,956 --> 00:07:19,690
For a tiny little white
girl, she's kind of scary.
166
00:07:20,233 --> 00:07:21,985
♪
167
00:07:22,729 --> 00:07:24,029
I can't believe it.
168
00:07:24,128 --> 00:07:26,073
You murdered Slinky.
169
00:07:26,328 --> 00:07:28,268
Well, it was self-defense.
170
00:07:28,293 --> 00:07:30,323
As soon as he saw my snakeskin boots,
171
00:07:30,348 --> 00:07:32,082
I knew he was coming for me.
172
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:35,503
Yeah, hey, look, come on, Marty.
173
00:07:35,528 --> 00:07:38,041
It's been almost 15 years, man.
Let it go.
174
00:07:38,066 --> 00:07:39,456
Well, it's easy for you to say.
175
00:07:39,481 --> 00:07:42,016
You're not the one who
loved him, cared for him,
176
00:07:42,150 --> 00:07:44,882
took him outside for
his nightly slithers.
177
00:07:46,650 --> 00:07:47,983
Okay, Marty,
178
00:07:48,008 --> 00:07:49,462
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have
179
00:07:49,487 --> 00:07:50,970
gotten rid of your pet like that.
180
00:07:50,995 --> 00:07:52,565
What can I do to make it up to you?
181
00:07:52,590 --> 00:07:53,690
Well, that depends.
182
00:07:53,715 --> 00:07:55,252
What else have you lied to me about?
183
00:07:55,277 --> 00:07:57,258
Did my old Space Camp
buddy Winston Chang
184
00:07:57,283 --> 00:08:00,064
really move back to China,
or did you kill him, too?
185
00:08:02,479 --> 00:08:04,776
Okay, Marty, come on.
186
00:08:04,965 --> 00:08:06,988
Let me do something to
make you feel better.
187
00:08:07,130 --> 00:08:08,330
Like what?
188
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:09,781
Anything. Just name it.
189
00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:12,367
Well, I-I do love your
seafood jambalaya.
190
00:08:12,557 --> 00:08:14,036
Oh.
191
00:08:14,888 --> 00:08:16,372
Wow.
192
00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:19,297
I mean, with all the
shopping and the prep,
193
00:08:19,357 --> 00:08:20,948
that's gonna take all day.
194
00:08:20,983 --> 00:08:23,017
Yeah, you're right. It
does take a lot of time.
195
00:08:23,042 --> 00:08:26,048
Yeah. Although death is forever.
196
00:08:30,847 --> 00:08:33,565
Okay. Fine. I'll go to
the market right now.
197
00:08:33,666 --> 00:08:35,168
Well, hey, Ma, since you out there...
198
00:08:35,193 --> 00:08:36,725
I didn't kill your pet.
199
00:08:42,391 --> 00:08:44,799
Oh, man, I'm really surprised
how upset you are.
200
00:08:45,095 --> 00:08:47,396
I didn't realize how much
you loved that snake.
201
00:08:48,197 --> 00:08:50,190
Well, actually...
202
00:08:52,468 --> 00:08:54,269
I hated that damn thing!
203
00:08:55,073 --> 00:08:56,411
What?
204
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,670
Well, it was terrifying.
205
00:08:57,695 --> 00:08:59,957
Like a giant piece of
spaghetti with teeth.
206
00:09:02,213 --> 00:09:03,714
(SCOFFS) All right, well,
207
00:09:03,739 --> 00:09:05,612
then why are you giving
Mama such a hard time?
208
00:09:05,637 --> 00:09:08,715
I'll tell you why... to teach
her a lesson in honesty.
209
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,885
By lying to her?
210
00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:14,596
Well, I-I wouldn't call it lying.
211
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:16,155
Okay, then what would you call it?
212
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,480
Well, I...
213
00:09:17,505 --> 00:09:19,639
Oh, give me a break, Malcolm.
I'm in mourning.
214
00:09:19,664 --> 00:09:21,015
What?
215
00:09:22,635 --> 00:09:24,744
Okay, Grover, you ever heard the phrase
216
00:09:24,769 --> 00:09:26,604
- "he got game"?
- Sure.
217
00:09:26,629 --> 00:09:28,360
Well, you ain't got none.
218
00:09:30,530 --> 00:09:33,276
But I promised your mom I'd
turn you into a player,
219
00:09:33,301 --> 00:09:34,698
and that's what I'm gonna do.
220
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:39,162
But I can't dribble, I
can't shoot, I can't pass.
221
00:09:39,353 --> 00:09:42,166
Don't forget you suck
at rebounding, too.
222
00:09:42,566 --> 00:09:44,630
I know. If I have to play,
223
00:09:44,655 --> 00:09:46,698
I'm just gonna go out there
and embarrass myself.
224
00:09:46,723 --> 00:09:49,381
Oh, oh, oh, don't worry.
Look, I got a plan.
225
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:52,490
You remember when Jorge tried to get
226
00:09:52,515 --> 00:09:54,331
the extra orange slice at practice
227
00:09:54,356 --> 00:09:56,026
and you slapped his hand away?
228
00:09:56,207 --> 00:09:57,848
Not on my watch.
229
00:10:00,526 --> 00:10:04,813
That's why I'm gonna
make you the enforcer.
230
00:10:05,268 --> 00:10:06,780
The enforcer?
231
00:10:06,908 --> 00:10:09,026
That kind of sounds like a superhero.
232
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:10,487
It is.
233
00:10:10,586 --> 00:10:13,238
But instead of saving people, your job
234
00:10:13,329 --> 00:10:14,896
is to elbow them,
235
00:10:15,113 --> 00:10:18,118
foul and scare the crap
out of other kids.
236
00:10:19,856 --> 00:10:21,223
Am I allowed to do that?
237
00:10:21,248 --> 00:10:23,458
Up to six times a game.
238
00:10:24,906 --> 00:10:26,206
Okay, so here.
239
00:10:26,281 --> 00:10:27,836
Pretend I'm on the other team
240
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:29,463
and we're fighting for a rebound.
241
00:10:29,594 --> 00:10:30,761
Show me what you got.
242
00:10:30,786 --> 00:10:31,819
Come on.
243
00:10:31,844 --> 00:10:33,698
- (GRUNTS FIERCELY)
- (GROANS)
244
00:10:36,071 --> 00:10:38,339
(STRAINING): And your mom
said I wasn't a good coach.
245
00:10:38,364 --> 00:10:40,015
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
246
00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:49,685
Oh, look at Grover out there.
247
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:52,786
He looks so grown-up in his uniform.
248
00:10:53,116 --> 00:10:55,238
Mommy loves you, snuggle bug!
249
00:10:55,345 --> 00:10:57,199
Mommy!
250
00:10:58,687 --> 00:11:00,225
I'm so nervous for him.
251
00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:02,124
It feels like opening
night at the school play.
252
00:11:02,149 --> 00:11:03,427
My leaves were shaking so bad,
253
00:11:03,452 --> 00:11:05,210
they had to add a line
about the gusty wind.
254
00:11:05,235 --> 00:11:06,375
(CHUCKLES)
255
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,585
(BUZZER SOUNDS)
256
00:11:07,972 --> 00:11:09,172
Come on, bring it in.
257
00:11:09,318 --> 00:11:10,796
All right, guys.
258
00:11:10,866 --> 00:11:12,999
We're gonna go out there,
we're gonna play hard,
259
00:11:13,024 --> 00:11:15,325
we're gonna have fun,
but most importantly,
260
00:11:15,462 --> 00:11:17,803
show good sportsmanship.
261
00:11:18,316 --> 00:11:20,296
- Go Lions!
- TEAM: Roar!
262
00:11:20,321 --> 00:11:21,681
Let's get it.
263
00:11:21,810 --> 00:11:23,378
Whoa, whoa, hey, Grover.
264
00:11:23,403 --> 00:11:26,205
All that good sportsmanship
stuff doesn't apply to you.
265
00:11:26,230 --> 00:11:27,563
Got it.
266
00:11:27,588 --> 00:11:30,790
Hey-hey, and, uh, here's
your mouth guard.
267
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,282
Safety first.
268
00:11:32,439 --> 00:11:34,277
Yours, not theirs.
269
00:11:35,489 --> 00:11:37,424
Thanks, Coach Calvin.
270
00:11:38,311 --> 00:11:39,991
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
271
00:11:40,384 --> 00:11:42,585
Oh, my God, Grover's starting.
272
00:11:43,084 --> 00:11:45,122
That's my son! Number 12!
273
00:11:45,147 --> 00:11:46,791
That's my snuggly son!
274
00:11:48,231 --> 00:11:50,399
Wow, yesterday Grover was the water boy.
275
00:11:50,424 --> 00:11:51,686
Today he's in the starting five.
276
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,554
I mean, at this rate,
tomorrow he's gonna be...
277
00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:54,879
- (BOY GRUNTS)
- (THUD)
278
00:11:54,904 --> 00:11:55,938
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
279
00:11:56,018 --> 00:11:57,496
Foul, number 12!
280
00:11:58,304 --> 00:12:00,263
In jail.
281
00:12:10,526 --> 00:12:12,759
- Dude.
- Yo, what's up, man?
282
00:12:13,117 --> 00:12:16,486
Don't tell me you guilted
Mom into baking you a pie?
283
00:12:16,699 --> 00:12:18,155
I sure did.
284
00:12:18,258 --> 00:12:20,992
Revenge is a dish best served à la mode.
285
00:12:22,535 --> 00:12:25,538
Okay, Marty, I'm off to
clean your apartment.
286
00:12:26,591 --> 00:12:27,831
Thanks, Mama.
287
00:12:27,898 --> 00:12:30,710
Now, you sure you're
okay doing this for me?
288
00:12:30,735 --> 00:12:32,920
Oh, anything for my baby.
289
00:12:32,945 --> 00:12:35,280
Great. Make sure you use the pine scent,
290
00:12:35,305 --> 00:12:37,175
because the lemon tickles my nose.
291
00:12:38,345 --> 00:12:40,760
Okay, let me see if I have any.
292
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,263
I should've took his ass to the woods.
293
00:12:45,892 --> 00:12:47,394
You know what? That's it, man.
294
00:12:47,419 --> 00:12:48,558
You're taking this too far.
295
00:12:48,583 --> 00:12:49,784
I'm telling Mama the truth.
296
00:12:49,809 --> 00:12:52,203
Well, would a piece of this
delicious blueberry pie
297
00:12:52,228 --> 00:12:53,306
change your mind?
298
00:12:53,331 --> 00:12:55,782
Do you seriously think you
can buy me off with pie?
299
00:12:56,016 --> 00:12:58,029
What about tickets to the Lakers game?
300
00:13:00,636 --> 00:13:02,825
Mama got you Laker tickets?
301
00:13:04,265 --> 00:13:07,288
Not yet, but if I can figure
out how to make myself cry,
302
00:13:07,318 --> 00:13:11,167
it'll be Jack Nicholson,
you, and me on the floor.
303
00:13:12,710 --> 00:13:14,644
Okay, I'm off.
304
00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:16,673
- Here come the tears.
- Aah!
305
00:13:16,698 --> 00:13:20,300
- (GROANS)
- Oh, oh...
306
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,441
Oh, I know.
307
00:13:22,711 --> 00:13:24,407
(MARTY CRYING)
308
00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:26,724
- It's okay, baby bro.
- (CRYING)
309
00:13:26,811 --> 00:13:28,712
Slinky's in heaven now.
310
00:13:28,958 --> 00:13:30,769
(MARTY CRYING)
311
00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:33,940
What the hell is going on out there?
312
00:13:33,965 --> 00:13:35,608
Grover's out of control.
313
00:13:36,007 --> 00:13:37,485
Okay, uh...
314
00:13:37,510 --> 00:13:39,564
so we got off to a
pretty aggressive start,
315
00:13:39,589 --> 00:13:41,490
but I think he's beginning to calm down.
316
00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:44,700
I mean, he hasn't fouled
anybody in almost two minutes.
317
00:13:45,383 --> 00:13:46,869
Dave, it's a time-out.
318
00:13:47,061 --> 00:13:49,080
(BUZZER SOUNDS)
319
00:13:49,390 --> 00:13:51,415
Okay. Come on!
320
00:13:53,005 --> 00:13:55,064
Look, maybe Calvin called the time-out
321
00:13:55,089 --> 00:13:57,071
to tell Grover to keep
his elbows to himself.
322
00:13:57,218 --> 00:13:58,452
- (BOY GRUNTS)
- (THUD)
323
00:13:58,544 --> 00:14:00,382
- (WHISTLE BLOWS)
- REFEREE: Foul, number 12!
324
00:14:03,262 --> 00:14:04,863
That's it. I'm talking to Calvin.
325
00:14:04,888 --> 00:14:06,306
Okay, I'm coming, too.
326
00:14:06,331 --> 00:14:08,723
Even the parents on our team
look like they want to kill us.
327
00:14:09,923 --> 00:14:11,356
Come on, ref!
328
00:14:11,432 --> 00:14:12,869
That kid traveled so much,
329
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:15,565
it's like he's going to see his
real daddy for the weekend.
330
00:14:19,156 --> 00:14:20,256
Calvin?
331
00:14:20,316 --> 00:14:22,684
What the hell? Grover's
acting like an animal!
332
00:14:22,798 --> 00:14:24,232
I know, right?
333
00:14:25,278 --> 00:14:28,781
Forget California, I may be
the best coach in the world.
334
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:32,345
I asked you to teach him
how to play basketball,
335
00:14:32,370 --> 00:14:33,784
not turn him into a goon.
336
00:14:33,809 --> 00:14:36,556
Hey, you told me to toughen him up.
337
00:14:36,581 --> 00:14:38,182
Plus, we're winning.
338
00:14:38,207 --> 00:14:41,165
He might not even have to
use his last two fouls.
339
00:14:41,467 --> 00:14:42,840
- (THUD)
- (WHISTLE BLOWS)
340
00:14:42,865 --> 00:14:44,967
REFEREE: Foul, number 12!
341
00:14:47,118 --> 00:14:48,763
Okay, one foul.
342
00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:52,860
So you're not gonna do
anything about this?
343
00:14:52,885 --> 00:14:55,520
No. Not in the middle of a game.
344
00:14:55,545 --> 00:14:57,398
Fine. Then I will.
345
00:15:00,273 --> 00:15:01,525
Hey!
346
00:15:03,151 --> 00:15:04,991
Oh, God, this is my mom
at the school play
347
00:15:05,016 --> 00:15:06,574
all over again.
348
00:15:06,965 --> 00:15:09,360
You want to teach my
kid how to play dirty?
349
00:15:09,452 --> 00:15:12,580
Good luck doing it without this.
350
00:15:20,862 --> 00:15:24,924
She does know we have a whole
rack of balls right here, right?
351
00:15:29,123 --> 00:15:30,691
This pie is delicious.
352
00:15:30,716 --> 00:15:31,719
Yeah, I know.
353
00:15:31,744 --> 00:15:33,624
I always thought the secret
ingredient was love.
354
00:15:33,649 --> 00:15:36,338
- Turns out, it's guilt.
- (CHUCKLES)
355
00:15:37,775 --> 00:15:38,807
Hey, boys.
356
00:15:38,832 --> 00:15:40,009
- Hey.
- Hey, Mama.
357
00:15:40,034 --> 00:15:41,083
What's that?
358
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,542
A gift for you. I think I finally
359
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:45,401
figured out something that will make up
360
00:15:45,426 --> 00:15:46,830
for what I did to you.
361
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:48,502
Oh, Mom, you shouldn't have.
362
00:15:48,527 --> 00:15:49,972
Although, given your savage betrayal,
363
00:15:49,997 --> 00:15:51,493
you probably should have.
364
00:15:52,499 --> 00:15:53,749
All right, well,
365
00:15:53,774 --> 00:15:55,141
open it, baby.
366
00:15:55,166 --> 00:15:56,682
Okay, well, whatever it is,
367
00:15:56,707 --> 00:15:57,948
hopefully it'll make me forget
368
00:15:57,973 --> 00:16:01,044
the memory of my precious... snake!
369
00:16:03,173 --> 00:16:07,777
Yeah. See, I realized
that there's no amount
370
00:16:07,802 --> 00:16:10,674
of cooking and cleaning that
could replace your snake.
371
00:16:10,806 --> 00:16:14,849
But maybe one that's twice as big could.
372
00:16:15,459 --> 00:16:17,540
- Ooh-ooh!
- Ah!
373
00:16:17,565 --> 00:16:19,867
Aw! Do you love it?
374
00:16:19,892 --> 00:16:21,418
(CHUCKLING): I know I do.
375
00:16:21,443 --> 00:16:22,707
- Ooh.
- (LAUGHS)
376
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:25,910
Here, come on, let me put
him around your neck.
377
00:16:25,935 --> 00:16:29,990
Oh, look at him. Oh, look at that, aw...
378
00:16:31,096 --> 00:16:32,827
He's so cute.
379
00:16:33,805 --> 00:16:35,662
Look at him, Mama.
380
00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:38,332
He's so happy, he's about to cry.
381
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:39,988
(MALCOLM AND TINA CHUCKLE)
382
00:16:40,013 --> 00:16:41,947
He gonna die.
383
00:16:42,359 --> 00:16:44,268
(WHISPERING): Get it off.
384
00:16:44,293 --> 00:16:46,691
What, wha-what'd you say, baby?
I can't hear you.
385
00:16:46,716 --> 00:16:48,394
Get the snake... get it... get it off.
386
00:16:48,419 --> 00:16:51,566
Get it off? Like, take it
off of your neck? Oh, okay.
387
00:16:51,591 --> 00:16:53,788
Let me hold... You want
me to hold him? Okay.
388
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:56,725
(SCREAMING)
389
00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:00,988
And that's what you get for
messing with your mama!
390
00:17:01,013 --> 00:17:02,731
You better ask somebody!
391
00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:04,891
(CHUCKLES)
392
00:17:05,531 --> 00:17:06,931
So you knew, huh?
393
00:17:06,956 --> 00:17:08,641
Hell yeah, I knew!
394
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,788
I heard you two talking
when I was in the kitchen.
395
00:17:11,926 --> 00:17:13,738
Um, how much did you hear?
396
00:17:13,763 --> 00:17:16,871
- Mmm, about this much!
- Aah!
397
00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:20,540
Selling out your own
mother for a Laker ticket?
398
00:17:20,565 --> 00:17:23,252
You're an even bigger
snake than this one!
399
00:17:24,519 --> 00:17:26,220
Uh-oh, where'd it go?
400
00:17:28,555 --> 00:17:30,300
Aw, hell no!
401
00:17:30,519 --> 00:17:32,761
- I'm moving! I'm moving!
- Go!
402
00:17:32,786 --> 00:17:34,787
(TINA YELLING)
403
00:17:36,659 --> 00:17:40,066
Mom, Mom, you should've seen it!
I made the game-winning play!
404
00:17:40,161 --> 00:17:41,854
You scored a basket?
405
00:17:42,006 --> 00:17:45,629
No, I would have had to
touch the ball to do that.
406
00:17:48,483 --> 00:17:50,751
Oh, so you fouled another kid.
407
00:17:50,873 --> 00:17:52,767
Oh, no. He didn't have to.
408
00:17:52,792 --> 00:17:54,235
The best player on their team
409
00:17:54,260 --> 00:17:56,152
was about to score the
game-winning shot,
410
00:17:56,220 --> 00:17:57,687
but then, when he saw Grover,
411
00:17:57,712 --> 00:18:00,861
he threw up an airball and peed himself!
(CHUCKLES)
412
00:18:01,744 --> 00:18:04,696
Hey, come on, buddy. Let's go inside.
413
00:18:04,766 --> 00:18:06,876
You should probably shower, and, uh,
414
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,380
I should probably call an attorney.
415
00:18:11,759 --> 00:18:13,693
Well, Calvin, congratulations.
416
00:18:13,761 --> 00:18:15,242
You turned my son into a monster
417
00:18:15,267 --> 00:18:17,516
just so you could win a
stupid basketball game.
418
00:18:17,647 --> 00:18:19,349
I hope you're happy.
419
00:18:19,547 --> 00:18:20,868
When you say it like that,
420
00:18:20,893 --> 00:18:22,587
it sounds like I'm not supposed to be.
421
00:18:22,612 --> 00:18:23,854
Oh!
422
00:18:25,042 --> 00:18:26,776
You're unbelievable.
423
00:18:26,801 --> 00:18:28,110
Look, Gemma.
424
00:18:28,382 --> 00:18:29,939
You said that he had to play.
425
00:18:29,964 --> 00:18:31,899
Well, this is the only
way that he could do it
426
00:18:31,924 --> 00:18:33,291
without embarrassing himself.
427
00:18:33,316 --> 00:18:34,824
Oh, really?
428
00:18:34,888 --> 00:18:36,473
So this was just about protecting him
429
00:18:36,498 --> 00:18:39,285
and not your precious winning streak?
430
00:18:39,310 --> 00:18:41,205
Why can't it be both?
431
00:18:44,005 --> 00:18:45,603
Calvin, this was supposed to be
432
00:18:45,628 --> 00:18:49,235
about teaching Grover the
value of being on a team.
433
00:18:49,339 --> 00:18:50,940
I trusted you.
434
00:18:50,965 --> 00:18:52,332
Think about it.
435
00:18:52,357 --> 00:18:56,204
If Grover would've went out
there and played terrible,
436
00:18:56,315 --> 00:19:00,098
and we lost, all the other
kids would have blamed him.
437
00:19:00,267 --> 00:19:02,376
And then he would never
want to be on a team again.
438
00:19:02,401 --> 00:19:03,634
Is that what you want?
439
00:19:03,848 --> 00:19:05,521
Well, obviously not.
440
00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:07,979
But I also don't want
kids wetting their pants
441
00:19:08,004 --> 00:19:09,691
when he walks into a room.
442
00:19:11,253 --> 00:19:12,609
Look, I was just trying
443
00:19:12,634 --> 00:19:14,079
to give him a role on the team
444
00:19:14,104 --> 00:19:16,126
where he could feel good about himself.
445
00:19:16,151 --> 00:19:18,266
Yeah, but there's nothing
to feel good about
446
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:20,285
if he's not playing the right way.
447
00:19:22,137 --> 00:19:24,497
All right. Okay.
448
00:19:24,522 --> 00:19:26,166
I hear you.
449
00:19:26,621 --> 00:19:29,169
Maybe I took it a little too far.
450
00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:31,672
I apologize.
451
00:19:31,697 --> 00:19:33,264
Thank you.
452
00:19:33,438 --> 00:19:34,872
But you got to admit,
453
00:19:34,897 --> 00:19:37,430
he was having a good time out there.
454
00:19:37,876 --> 00:19:39,790
He did have a pretty
big smile on his face.
455
00:19:39,815 --> 00:19:40,829
Yeah.
456
00:19:40,854 --> 00:19:44,032
So I guess I have to give
you credit for that.
457
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:47,313
Well, you don't vote yourself
best coach in California
458
00:19:47,338 --> 00:19:49,397
- for nothing.
- (CHUCKLING)
459
00:19:50,833 --> 00:19:53,380
I'll tell you what, I'll
keep working with Grover
460
00:19:53,405 --> 00:19:56,040
on his fundamentals,
bring him up to speed.
461
00:19:56,147 --> 00:19:57,447
Thank you.
462
00:19:57,663 --> 00:20:00,977
And promise me, next
game, no more fouling.
463
00:20:01,002 --> 00:20:02,391
Not a problem.
464
00:20:02,416 --> 00:20:04,454
You don't have to worry
about that at all.
465
00:20:04,479 --> 00:20:06,837
He's been suspended for
the rest of the season.
466
00:20:10,970 --> 00:20:12,587
Hey, Calvin...
467
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:18,568
I just hit 12 minutes. Personal best.
468
00:20:19,483 --> 00:20:21,804
I've been watching for five seconds.
469
00:20:21,829 --> 00:20:23,432
Personal worst.
470
00:20:24,075 --> 00:20:25,634
(CHUCKLING): All right, come on.
471
00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:26,876
Why don't you give it a try?
472
00:20:26,901 --> 00:20:28,645
Absolutely not.
473
00:20:29,109 --> 00:20:31,315
Calvin, you have the wrong attitude.
474
00:20:31,424 --> 00:20:33,425
It's stop making fun of it
475
00:20:33,450 --> 00:20:34,901
and start making fun
476
00:20:35,083 --> 00:20:36,570
a-with it.
477
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,783
Fine. I'll give it a spin.
478
00:20:46,185 --> 00:20:47,705
Hey, man!
479
00:20:48,333 --> 00:20:49,701
Huh.
480
00:20:49,726 --> 00:20:51,710
That was more fun than I thought.
481
00:20:52,554 --> 00:20:53,921
Snake!
482
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:58,333
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
33886
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof