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1
00:00:09,895 --> 00:00:11,186
Hi. I'm Larry David.
2
00:00:11,269 --> 00:00:13,478
I want to tell you about
a new store I'm opening
3
00:00:13,561 --> 00:00:14,978
called Latte Larry's.
4
00:00:15,061 --> 00:00:17,269
Why am I getting
into the coffee game?
5
00:00:17,353 --> 00:00:20,603
Because I went to this
coffee shop next door,
6
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:22,895
and the guy was such a jerk
7
00:00:22,978 --> 00:00:25,395
that I felt like
I had to do something,
8
00:00:25,478 --> 00:00:27,353
and now, you know what?
9
00:00:27,436 --> 00:00:28,978
I got me a little spite store.
10
00:00:29,061 --> 00:00:31,061
Tremendous things
in here, by the way.
You're gonna love it.
11
00:00:31,144 --> 00:00:32,687
Look at this.
Coat rack.
12
00:00:32,770 --> 00:00:34,061
You ever see
that anywhere?
13
00:00:34,144 --> 00:00:35,812
Tables, they don't wobble.
14
00:00:35,895 --> 00:00:37,853
And self-heating
coffee cups.
15
00:00:37,937 --> 00:00:39,520
Keeps coffee hot for two hours.
16
00:00:39,603 --> 00:00:42,645
Check out that sign.
This is a defecation-free store.
17
00:00:42,728 --> 00:00:44,436
That's the kind of feature
you dream about.
18
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:45,395
No defecating!
19
00:00:45,478 --> 00:00:47,353
Urinators... welcome.
20
00:00:47,436 --> 00:00:49,019
But if you are a defecator,
21
00:00:49,103 --> 00:00:52,269
or planning on defecating
anytime soon,
22
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:54,645
don't come down here.
This is not your place.
23
00:00:54,728 --> 00:00:56,728
Stay home.
Go next door.
24
00:00:56,812 --> 00:00:58,436
So come on down
to Latte Larry's
25
00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:00,186
and have a hot cup
of spite with me!
26
00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:02,228
You're not gonna believe
what's going on in here.
27
00:01:02,311 --> 00:01:04,228
-You'll be very impressed.
-(sign shatters)
28
00:01:04,311 --> 00:01:05,603
Come on!
29
00:01:06,812 --> 00:01:09,770
(theme music playing)
30
00:01:13,645 --> 00:01:16,645
Larry, that is the most
amazing urinary experience
31
00:01:16,728 --> 00:01:18,436
-I've ever had in my life.
-How about the tray?
32
00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:22,019
It caught every drop,
every single drop.
Thank you.
33
00:01:22,478 --> 00:01:24,395
-(claps)
-Every drop.
34
00:01:24,478 --> 00:01:27,061
-Well, it's all working.
-Wow, man.
35
00:01:27,144 --> 00:01:28,853
Huh? You were right
about the beans.
36
00:01:28,937 --> 00:01:30,186
Hey, going
to Mickey's wedding,
37
00:01:30,269 --> 00:01:31,603
it's the greatest thing
we ever did.
38
00:01:31,687 --> 00:01:33,019
You know what I'm thinking?
39
00:01:33,103 --> 00:01:35,353
I'm thinking,
you need a title.
40
00:01:35,436 --> 00:01:38,186
-I need a fuckin' title.
-You know, like
assistant manager,
41
00:01:38,269 --> 00:01:40,812
-in charge of beans.
-How about this one?
Bean cobbler.
42
00:01:40,895 --> 00:01:42,978
-Bean-meister.
-I like bean-meister.
43
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:46,061
-I'm gonna go use
the pee cube.
-Peek your head in there.
44
00:01:50,395 --> 00:01:51,895
Mocha Joe:
See what I'm saying?
45
00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:54,228
All day long,
ever since he opened,
in and out.
46
00:01:54,311 --> 00:01:56,103
And it's a little light
around here today.
47
00:01:56,186 --> 00:01:58,103
-What do we do?
-It would be great
if you could go over there
48
00:01:58,186 --> 00:01:59,978
-and just sort of
check out the vibe.
-Why don't you go?
49
00:02:00,061 --> 00:02:00,937
-I'm banned.
-You're banned?
50
00:02:01,019 --> 00:02:02,269
And, yeah.
And my mother.
51
00:02:02,353 --> 00:02:03,812
Do you believe it?
Who's a saint,
by the way.
52
00:02:03,895 --> 00:02:05,603
-Your mom's banned?
-Yeah, yeah.
Just, you know,
53
00:02:05,687 --> 00:02:07,019
get a cup of coffee
and come back.
54
00:02:07,103 --> 00:02:08,311
Okay.
55
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:09,978
Oh, hey. Uh,
56
00:02:10,061 --> 00:02:12,103
-a little wobbly.
-Yeah, you just put
your foot on it, like that.
57
00:02:12,186 --> 00:02:14,728
-It's not a big deal.
All right, thanks.
-All right.
58
00:02:18,103 --> 00:02:21,186
♪ ♪
59
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:28,812
Aha, hey!
Look who's here.
60
00:02:28,895 --> 00:02:30,812
Hi. Is this for your benefit?
61
00:02:30,895 --> 00:02:32,520
In case there's any
handshaking to be done,
62
00:02:32,603 --> 00:02:33,853
-I know I'm safe.
-(laughing)
63
00:02:33,937 --> 00:02:36,353
-Have a little squirt.
-How'd you do this?
64
00:02:37,103 --> 00:02:38,812
-No wobble.
-Boy, that's solid.
65
00:02:38,895 --> 00:02:41,436
You know, when you want
to do something bad enough,
you get it done, Ted.
66
00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:44,019
Hey. How about a cup of coffee
for Mr. Danson?
67
00:02:44,103 --> 00:02:45,812
Thank you very much.
68
00:02:45,895 --> 00:02:47,228
-(laughs)
-On the house.
69
00:02:47,311 --> 00:02:49,103
Oh, that's very
sweet of you. Yeah.
70
00:02:58,228 --> 00:03:00,645
-Coffee. (laughs)
-Larry: Yeah.
71
00:03:00,728 --> 00:03:01,978
Make sure to tell Mocha Joe
72
00:03:02,061 --> 00:03:03,853
about all the amenities
that we have here.
73
00:03:03,937 --> 00:03:05,311
I think he'd enjoy that.
74
00:03:05,395 --> 00:03:08,061
Oh, hey. I know how, you know,
fond you are of me, so,
75
00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:10,061
I share this
to make you happy.
76
00:03:10,144 --> 00:03:11,603
I'm going out
with Cheryl tonight.
77
00:03:11,687 --> 00:03:13,019
-Thought you
might want to know.
-Oh.
78
00:03:13,103 --> 00:03:15,103
-Thanks for keeping me
in the loop.
-You bet.
79
00:03:15,186 --> 00:03:16,978
-Should be fun.
-She's a fun gal.
80
00:03:17,061 --> 00:03:18,770
(laughs)
81
00:03:19,812 --> 00:03:22,478
Gotta say, you know,
he's doing some
interesting things.
82
00:03:22,561 --> 00:03:24,269
What do you mean?
83
00:03:30,770 --> 00:03:32,186
Son of a bitch!
84
00:03:32,853 --> 00:03:34,687
-That's good.
He's got the beans.
-Yeah.
85
00:03:34,770 --> 00:03:37,812
(sighs) It's good.
I don't know
how he did it.
86
00:03:38,687 --> 00:03:40,186
-No, this is--
-Yeah, but I gotta
taste it again.
87
00:03:40,269 --> 00:03:41,937
Whoa, whoa.
Get your own.
88
00:03:43,728 --> 00:03:47,311
♪ ♪
89
00:03:55,561 --> 00:03:58,144
-(horn blares)
-Aah!
90
00:04:02,019 --> 00:04:04,728
Larry: I was nervous.
I threw the phone,
and I took off.
91
00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:06,353
I had, like,
this total beep panic.
92
00:04:06,436 --> 00:04:08,436
'Cause you just
want to get away from,
from the other person.
93
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,269
-It's humiliating.
Yeah, it is.
-It's embarrassing.
94
00:04:10,353 --> 00:04:12,228
'Cause you never wanna
see this person again.
95
00:04:12,311 --> 00:04:14,520
-Right?
-It's almost like you're,
like, caught doing something.
96
00:04:14,603 --> 00:04:16,728
You know, once I panicked,
I threw my phone out the window.
97
00:04:16,812 --> 00:04:18,895
-What'd you do?
-I had to get out of the car
and get the phone.
98
00:04:18,978 --> 00:04:20,770
-Did you see the guy?
-Of course I saw the guy.
99
00:04:20,853 --> 00:04:22,395
-What did he say?
-He beeped,
he was beeping
100
00:04:22,478 --> 00:04:24,395
as I was, as I was
getting out of the car.
101
00:04:24,478 --> 00:04:25,978
-You put it in park.
-Yeah, of course
I put it in park.
102
00:04:26,061 --> 00:04:27,436
Well, I don't know.
If you're so upset,
who knows.
103
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:29,436
By the way, think about that,
you leave it in drive,
104
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,436
-you're just so overwhelmed...
-Freddy: Right.
That's what I mean.
105
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,853
...so easy, get out of your car
and your car is rolling
down the street.
106
00:04:33,937 --> 00:04:36,228
-Turn into a whole thing.
-Freddy: Let's say
he didn't put it in park.
107
00:04:36,311 --> 00:04:37,978
Maybe the car goes
through the light
and hits a stroller.
108
00:04:38,061 --> 00:04:40,019
-Who's responsible?
I'm just saying--
-Oh, so I killed a baby?
109
00:04:40,103 --> 00:04:41,561
-He could have.
-I killed a baby?
110
00:04:41,645 --> 00:04:43,520
-There, you're arrested
for manslaughter.
-That's right.
111
00:04:43,603 --> 00:04:44,937
-All because you were texting.
-That's right.
112
00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:46,103
And now
you killed a child.
113
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:47,687
And now, how do
you live with that?
114
00:04:47,770 --> 00:04:50,603
Or you can go this way.
This baby was the Hitler
of the future.
115
00:04:50,687 --> 00:04:54,019
No. Listen to me.
I love the imagination,
but it was a real story
116
00:04:54,103 --> 00:04:55,853
with real people.
It didn't need sci-fi.
117
00:04:55,937 --> 00:04:57,561
-Yeah, what are you
throwing sci-fi in there?
-Why are you making--
118
00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:59,478
Larry and Freddy:
You're missing
the whole point.
119
00:04:59,561 --> 00:05:01,103
Where's our food?
This is unbelievable.
120
00:05:01,186 --> 00:05:02,978
-Yeah. Where is she?
I'm still hungry.
-I'm starving.
121
00:05:03,061 --> 00:05:04,687
Even though
the baby's dead,
I still wanna eat.
122
00:05:04,770 --> 00:05:07,144
By the way,
Susie's going out of town.
123
00:05:07,228 --> 00:05:10,436
So I was thinking...
golf trip.
124
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,978
It's rare for me to have
this opportunity.
125
00:05:13,061 --> 00:05:14,520
Let's go to Pebble Beach.
126
00:05:14,603 --> 00:05:15,978
-Wow.
-Fun.
127
00:05:16,061 --> 00:05:17,812
-Fantastic idea.
-I love that. I love that.
128
00:05:17,895 --> 00:05:19,311
-Pebble Beach.
-Who's our fourth?
129
00:05:19,395 --> 00:05:20,478
-Lewis.
-Larry: Lewis?
130
00:05:20,561 --> 00:05:22,311
If he can take a break
from his rehearsals.
131
00:05:22,395 --> 00:05:24,687
-(guffaws)
-Larry: Yeah. I mean, he might
not even be able to do it.
132
00:05:24,770 --> 00:05:26,687
He's doing
Flowers for Algernon .
133
00:05:26,770 --> 00:05:28,061
-Jeff: Charlie.
-Larry: Charlie!
Cliff Robertson--
134
00:05:28,144 --> 00:05:29,311
-in the movie.
-I remember I read the book.
135
00:05:29,395 --> 00:05:30,561
Yeah, in a small theater.
136
00:05:30,645 --> 00:05:31,770
-Freddy:
Why's he doing that?
-Because,
137
00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:33,520
you know why?
I'm gonna tell you why.
138
00:05:33,603 --> 00:05:35,144
Many of my clients do this.
139
00:05:35,228 --> 00:05:37,103
They feel that
unless they can play
140
00:05:37,186 --> 00:05:39,311
-a mentally challenged person...
-Larry: Yeah.
141
00:05:39,395 --> 00:05:41,853
...that they're not, uh,
worthy as an actor.
142
00:05:41,937 --> 00:05:43,103
No one wants
to see him do that.
143
00:05:43,186 --> 00:05:44,478
I think that's
where you're wrong.
144
00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:45,895
-I do.
-Jeff: Are we going together?
145
00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:47,478
-I do. Yeah.
-Jeff: Are we going together?
146
00:05:47,561 --> 00:05:48,645
I'm going to every performance.
147
00:05:48,728 --> 00:05:49,978
-Jeff: I'll be there.
-Larry: Yeah.
148
00:05:50,061 --> 00:05:51,853
-Oh. Boy, that looks great.
-God, I'm hungry!
149
00:05:51,937 --> 00:05:53,603
-I should've got the chicken.
It looks terrific.
-Oh, yeah.
150
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,353
-I'll give you a piece.
-That looks terrific.
151
00:05:55,436 --> 00:05:57,353
-Jeff: Oh, it smells great.
-I'm so sorry again
for the delay.
152
00:05:57,436 --> 00:05:59,520
I have diarrhea, so...
153
00:05:59,603 --> 00:06:01,395
I'm gonna come right back
in a little bit
154
00:06:01,478 --> 00:06:03,103
and check on you, okay?
155
00:06:11,269 --> 00:06:12,645
Having or had?
156
00:06:12,728 --> 00:06:15,645
I'm pretty sure she said "have."
157
00:06:15,728 --> 00:06:19,645
So she's in the throes of it.
158
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:24,436
(all muttering)
159
00:06:25,311 --> 00:06:26,812
I'm gonna go home.
160
00:06:26,895 --> 00:06:28,269
I'm gonna go
to the BMW dealer.
161
00:06:28,353 --> 00:06:30,353
Get some licorice.
They got the most
fantastic licorice
162
00:06:30,436 --> 00:06:31,645
I've ever had in my life.
163
00:06:31,728 --> 00:06:33,311
I pretend there's
something wrong
with my car,
164
00:06:33,395 --> 00:06:35,019
and then I grab a ton of it.
165
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:39,311
♪ ♪
166
00:06:42,812 --> 00:06:44,103
(sighs)
167
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:46,520
Happened again.
The lights, you know,
168
00:06:46,603 --> 00:06:49,353
it all...
(muttering)
169
00:07:00,561 --> 00:07:02,019
Mr. David.
170
00:07:02,103 --> 00:07:03,395
You're back again.
171
00:07:03,478 --> 00:07:05,353
Hey. How ya doin'?
172
00:07:05,436 --> 00:07:06,645
I'm doing all right.
How are you?
You run into
173
00:07:06,728 --> 00:07:07,895
another problem
with the car?
174
00:07:07,978 --> 00:07:09,687
-Yeah. I'm not kidding.
-You're kidding?
175
00:07:09,770 --> 00:07:11,228
This is like
the third time
this month.
176
00:07:11,311 --> 00:07:12,978
-What's going on?
-The, uh, the vents.
177
00:07:13,061 --> 00:07:15,687
The air comes out
and makes a bit
of a whistling sound.
178
00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:18,395
-Oh.
-(whistling)
179
00:07:20,061 --> 00:07:22,061
-The car is whistling.
-Yeah. Yeah.
180
00:07:22,144 --> 00:07:23,561
-It's annoying.
I can tell you that.
-Yeah.
181
00:07:23,645 --> 00:07:25,186
The last time you were here,
you didn't have the whistle.
182
00:07:25,269 --> 00:07:26,895
You had the check engine
light that was blinking.
183
00:07:26,978 --> 00:07:28,687
-Yeah.
-But we couldn't
replicate the blink.
184
00:07:28,770 --> 00:07:29,812
-Is that so?
-This is the third
185
00:07:29,895 --> 00:07:31,144
or fourth time
this month, right?
186
00:07:31,228 --> 00:07:32,687
The time before was
something with the steering,
187
00:07:32,770 --> 00:07:34,728
-it was pulling?
-Steering was pulling, yeah.
188
00:07:34,812 --> 00:07:36,603
By the way,
189
00:07:36,687 --> 00:07:38,687
where do you get that licorice?
190
00:07:39,353 --> 00:07:40,895
-The licorice?
-Yeah.
191
00:07:40,978 --> 00:07:42,520
I don't know.
Maybe Bavaria.
192
00:07:42,603 --> 00:07:44,520
-Bavaria?
-I will find out
193
00:07:44,603 --> 00:07:46,478
-where the licorice
comes from.
-Yeah.
194
00:07:46,561 --> 00:07:48,061
And hopefully
we will figure out
195
00:07:48,144 --> 00:07:50,436
-what the problem is
with your car, too.
-I hope so.
196
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,603
I'm getting a little tired
of coming in here all the time,
197
00:07:52,687 --> 00:07:54,603
-you know?
-Yeah. I see that.
198
00:07:54,687 --> 00:07:56,978
I will see what we can do.
All right?
199
00:07:57,061 --> 00:07:59,228
♪ ♪
200
00:08:18,561 --> 00:08:20,478
You can't--
$1.30 a cup?
201
00:08:20,561 --> 00:08:21,895
We're not gonna make
any money doing that.
202
00:08:21,978 --> 00:08:24,103
-What choice do I have?
-Put in some coat racks!
203
00:08:24,186 --> 00:08:26,144
-No way!
It's Southern California!
-One coat rack!
204
00:08:26,228 --> 00:08:28,978
-We don't need a coat rack!
-All right, then at least
fix your scones, Joe!
205
00:08:29,061 --> 00:08:30,895
You eat them
like they're going
out of style!
206
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:33,019
-(arguing loudly)
-Guys. Hey, guys.
207
00:08:33,103 --> 00:08:36,061
Keep it down.
You're disturbing
the customers.
208
00:08:37,311 --> 00:08:39,478
-They're too moist.
-You never had a problem
with the scones before.
209
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:42,103
-They're too moist.
-You never had a problem
with them before.
210
00:08:42,186 --> 00:08:43,520
Come in, come in.
211
00:08:43,603 --> 00:08:44,895
Enjoy the low prices.
212
00:08:44,978 --> 00:08:46,478
Hey, have you tried
Mocha Joe's?
213
00:08:46,561 --> 00:08:48,520
Hey, you remember me?
Ted Danson?
214
00:08:48,603 --> 00:08:49,937
Cheers?
215
00:08:50,019 --> 00:08:52,395
Becker? Cheers?
Any-- You remember me?
216
00:09:02,603 --> 00:09:04,603
♪ ♪
217
00:09:14,103 --> 00:09:16,353
(sighs)
Fuckin' tables.
218
00:09:16,436 --> 00:09:17,937
Hey. Come on, buddy.
219
00:09:18,019 --> 00:09:19,895
-Come on, what?
-You gotta relax.
220
00:09:19,978 --> 00:09:22,520
Relax what? $1.10 a cup,
Mr. Danson.
221
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:24,186
I mean, really.
Who are we kidding here?
222
00:09:24,269 --> 00:09:25,561
You got money invested
in this thing!
223
00:09:25,645 --> 00:09:27,395
Joe, I'm worried about you.
I'm serious.
224
00:09:27,478 --> 00:09:29,478
Look, play some golf,
you know?
225
00:09:29,561 --> 00:09:31,853
-Get a massage.
Go to the movies.
-How can I go to the movies?
226
00:09:31,937 --> 00:09:34,144
-I'm running a business here.
-Okay, I'll tell you what.
227
00:09:34,228 --> 00:09:36,269
I'm gonna lend you
some of my screeners.
228
00:09:36,353 --> 00:09:38,436
-What are screeners?
-Um,
229
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:41,353
they're DVDs of all
the latest movies
230
00:09:41,436 --> 00:09:43,061
the Academy gives us
so we can vote.
231
00:09:43,144 --> 00:09:45,645
The thing is, though,
you gotta give 'em
back to me,
232
00:09:45,728 --> 00:09:47,812
'cause they're all watermarked
or something.
233
00:09:47,895 --> 00:09:49,770
-I could get into trouble.
-That's really nice of you.
234
00:09:49,853 --> 00:09:51,061
I really appreciate it,
Mr. Danson.
235
00:09:51,144 --> 00:09:52,395
My mom would like that, too.
236
00:09:52,478 --> 00:09:53,728
Can I get you
a cup of coffee?
237
00:09:53,812 --> 00:09:55,770
From here?
No, I'm good.
238
00:09:57,436 --> 00:09:59,520
Jeff:
♪ Hanukkah,
Oh Hanukkah ♪
239
00:09:59,603 --> 00:10:02,228
♪ Come light the menorah ♪
240
00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:03,978
♪ We'll have a party ♪
241
00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:06,436
♪ We'll all dance the hora ♪
242
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:09,436
(humming)
♪ Hanukkah! ♪
243
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,144
♪ Lovin' the Hanukkah ♪
244
00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:15,103
♪ Ya-da-da, da-da-da,
da-da-da, da-da-da ♪
245
00:10:15,186 --> 00:10:17,353
(scatting and humming)
246
00:10:18,728 --> 00:10:19,895
Ha!
247
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,687
Mm.
248
00:10:24,770 --> 00:10:27,228
You have a wonderful trip.
249
00:10:27,311 --> 00:10:29,353
What the fuck are you
so happy about right now?
250
00:10:29,436 --> 00:10:30,395
Nothing.
251
00:10:30,478 --> 00:10:32,186
Bags back in the car.
I'm not going.
252
00:10:32,269 --> 00:10:34,603
-What are you talking about?
-Bags back in the car.
253
00:10:34,687 --> 00:10:36,186
-Take me home.
-What?
254
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:39,353
♪ ♪
255
00:10:43,019 --> 00:10:45,436
Mocha Joe: I don't know
how much longer I can do it,
Ma. I'm slashing prices,
256
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,978
but every time
I make them lower,
he lowers his!
257
00:10:48,061 --> 00:10:49,478
Listen, you've gotta relax,
sweetheart.
258
00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:50,978
You have to.
You know what?
259
00:10:51,061 --> 00:10:52,395
Let's watch
one of those movies
260
00:10:52,478 --> 00:10:54,395
that Ted Danson gave us.
The Green Book .
261
00:10:54,478 --> 00:10:55,978
It's about a guy
from Arthur Avenue.
262
00:10:56,061 --> 00:10:57,895
-I don't, I don't know
anything about it.
-Very good.
263
00:10:57,978 --> 00:10:59,853
It starts at Arthur Avenue.
264
00:10:59,937 --> 00:11:01,353
It ends at Arthur Avenue.
265
00:11:01,436 --> 00:11:02,728
Very good story.
266
00:11:02,812 --> 00:11:04,144
-Come on. Sit next to me.
-Here you go. You can read
267
00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:05,561
-a little more about it.
-Sit next to me.
268
00:11:05,645 --> 00:11:06,812
No, I don't want to read.
269
00:11:06,895 --> 00:11:07,978
I want to see the movie
with you.
270
00:11:08,061 --> 00:11:11,061
It's a terrific movie,
sort of a nicer...
271
00:11:11,144 --> 00:11:14,228
Goodfellas kind of thing,
but nicer than that.
272
00:11:16,061 --> 00:11:19,645
Oh, that Mr. Danson,
he was really nice
the way he gave us those.
273
00:11:19,728 --> 00:11:22,645
-What?
-Mocha Joe:
Hold on a second.
274
00:11:22,728 --> 00:11:24,645
-What?
-I gotta make a call.
275
00:11:24,728 --> 00:11:28,061
-Now?
-Be quiet. I gotta call
Larry David. Okay.
276
00:11:29,103 --> 00:11:31,645
How you doing?
It's Mocha Joe.
277
00:11:31,728 --> 00:11:32,978
Richard:
This is crazy.
278
00:11:33,061 --> 00:11:34,770
Freddy:
It's like a sweat lodge
in here.
279
00:11:34,853 --> 00:11:36,937
This is...
Whose idea was this?
280
00:11:37,019 --> 00:11:38,478
Why are we even eating here?
281
00:11:38,561 --> 00:11:40,603
'Cause we're trying to avoid
that waitress upstairs.
282
00:11:40,687 --> 00:11:42,311
She literally said,
"I have diarrhea.
I'm so--"
283
00:11:42,395 --> 00:11:43,853
-Richard:
She actually said it?
-No, no, she said it.
284
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,269
All right, let's stop
talking about her.
285
00:11:45,353 --> 00:11:46,520
This heat's making me nuts.
286
00:11:46,603 --> 00:11:48,103
Aren't you hot?
Take that thing off.
287
00:11:48,186 --> 00:11:49,520
I can't take it off,
because I don't,
288
00:11:49,603 --> 00:11:50,853
I don't have
a collared shirt,
289
00:11:50,937 --> 00:11:53,728
and then Takahashi will,
you know, suspend me.
290
00:11:53,812 --> 00:11:55,520
It's so elitist
and such bullshit.
291
00:11:55,603 --> 00:11:57,228
Larry: Hey, get this.
Mocha Joe called me.
292
00:11:57,311 --> 00:11:58,895
Wants to get together.
293
00:11:58,978 --> 00:12:00,061
I think he's crackin'.
294
00:12:00,144 --> 00:12:01,520
-Really?
-He's crackin'!
295
00:12:01,603 --> 00:12:02,895
-Larry: Yeah.
-You got him to crack.
296
00:12:02,978 --> 00:12:04,687
He said, let's talk,
you know,
297
00:12:04,770 --> 00:12:06,186
enough is enough.
298
00:12:06,269 --> 00:12:07,603
-Freddy: What's it gonna take?
-Larry: It's just an apology.
299
00:12:07,687 --> 00:12:09,395
-And that's it?
You shut down?
-I shut down.
300
00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:11,395
Jeff: Hey, Richard.
How's the play
rehearsal going?
301
00:12:11,478 --> 00:12:13,812
Are you taking the role
very seriously
302
00:12:13,895 --> 00:12:15,228
where it means the world to you?
303
00:12:15,311 --> 00:12:16,937
It's the most important thing
I've done in my--
304
00:12:17,019 --> 00:12:18,353
in 50 years
in show business.
305
00:12:18,436 --> 00:12:20,561
Why don't we--
I gotta get out
of my actor's head.
306
00:12:20,645 --> 00:12:22,728
I live and breathe
this guy 24/7.
307
00:12:22,812 --> 00:12:24,561
Why, why don't we talk
about our golf trip
308
00:12:24,645 --> 00:12:26,144
-that's coming up?
-The golf trip. Yes!
309
00:12:26,228 --> 00:12:28,311
-Yes, yes.
-Jeff: All right.
Listen. Fellas...
310
00:12:28,395 --> 00:12:31,895
I am terribly, terribly sorry.
311
00:12:31,978 --> 00:12:34,228
Um, I can't go.
312
00:12:34,311 --> 00:12:35,895
You can't go?
You're kidding!
313
00:12:35,978 --> 00:12:37,895
-You kicked off
the whole thing.
-I know I did.
314
00:12:37,978 --> 00:12:39,687
I thought Susie was
gonna leave town.
315
00:12:39,770 --> 00:12:40,978
She has decided to stay home.
316
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,228
Wh-- What happened?
317
00:12:42,311 --> 00:12:44,812
I was too happy
at the airport drop-off.
318
00:12:44,895 --> 00:12:47,019
Oh, my God.
Are you serious?
319
00:12:47,103 --> 00:12:49,395
I was, uh, bouncy.
I was dancing. I--
320
00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:52,103
No, no, no.
You gotta contain
yourself at the drop-off.
321
00:12:52,186 --> 00:12:54,103
Of course you're happy.
Every husband is thrilled...
322
00:12:54,186 --> 00:12:56,186
-I couldn't contain myself.
-...to drop their wife off
at the airport.
323
00:12:56,269 --> 00:12:58,603
But you gotta contain it,
and you celebrate in the car
324
00:12:58,687 --> 00:13:01,603
-on the way home!
-It's Susie.
I couldn't contain it!
325
00:13:01,687 --> 00:13:03,770
What are you gonna do?
Huh? He fucked up.
326
00:13:03,853 --> 00:13:06,103
I fucked up. I'm so sorry.
Fucked up.
327
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:07,520
That's a shame,
but I understand.
328
00:13:07,603 --> 00:13:09,561
Maybe we'll go,
the three of us, huh?
Pebble Beach.
329
00:13:09,645 --> 00:13:10,770
Yeah.
330
00:13:10,853 --> 00:13:12,228
Yeah.
331
00:13:14,937 --> 00:13:17,478
Hey, guys.
How's it going?
332
00:13:17,561 --> 00:13:19,228
What are you doing?
I thought you worked upstairs.
333
00:13:19,311 --> 00:13:21,770
I usually do,
but with the AC thing,
334
00:13:21,853 --> 00:13:23,645
-they moved me down here.
-Larry: What?
335
00:13:23,728 --> 00:13:25,561
And here you are.
336
00:13:25,645 --> 00:13:27,395
Beet salad.
337
00:13:27,478 --> 00:13:28,728
Sorry about the heat.
338
00:13:28,812 --> 00:13:31,728
They're fixing it,
but it's a steamy one, right?
339
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:34,269
Okay. A soup for you.
340
00:13:34,353 --> 00:13:36,353
And the salad is for you.
341
00:13:36,436 --> 00:13:39,103
Light on the dressing.
I did not forget.
342
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:41,019
Soup--
Oh, my goodness.
343
00:13:41,103 --> 00:13:43,144
Hold on.
Did you ask for croutons?
344
00:13:43,228 --> 00:13:46,144
I, I thought I remember
I asked you.
345
00:13:46,228 --> 00:13:47,687
You did or didn't?
346
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:51,645
But this is the soup
you wanted, right?
347
00:13:51,728 --> 00:13:54,603
(descending whistle)
348
00:13:54,687 --> 00:13:56,228
(plops)
349
00:13:58,728 --> 00:14:02,436
♪ ♪
350
00:14:04,186 --> 00:14:05,520
Waitress:
Okay, do you guys
want some bread?
351
00:14:05,603 --> 00:14:07,144
-Or, I, I feel like...
-All: No.
352
00:14:07,228 --> 00:14:08,895
Waitress:
Let me know if you
need anything, okay?
353
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:11,311
-It's hot.
-Sorry about the heat
down here, guys.
354
00:14:11,395 --> 00:14:13,311
-Yeah, we're good. Go.
Yeah, we're good.
-You're good?
355
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:15,687
-I feel like something's--
-No, no. Everything's good.
356
00:14:15,770 --> 00:14:16,937
-Waitress: All right. I'll go.
-Okay.
357
00:14:17,019 --> 00:14:18,353
-Bye-bye.
-This is a fun table.
358
00:14:18,436 --> 00:14:20,353
-Yeah.
-Oh, thanks. Yeah, thanks.
We're fine.
359
00:14:20,436 --> 00:14:21,853
All right. I'll come back
and check in.
360
00:14:21,937 --> 00:14:23,853
Richard:
Oh, great. Can't wait.
361
00:14:23,937 --> 00:14:27,186
-Uh, that's "Diarrhea."
-I put it together.
362
00:14:27,269 --> 00:14:30,561
Top five most revolting
thing I've ever seen
in my entire life.
363
00:14:30,645 --> 00:14:32,853
Ah, Mr. Takahashi!
364
00:14:32,937 --> 00:14:34,937
You. Zip it.
365
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,019
-Yeah.
-All the way.
366
00:14:37,103 --> 00:14:39,186
-(zipping)
-Mr. Takahashi:
You unzip again,
367
00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:40,853
-two weeks, no golf.
-Larry: Okay.
368
00:14:40,937 --> 00:14:42,603
By the way,
how are you hittin' 'em,
Mr. T?
369
00:14:42,687 --> 00:14:43,895
Not your concern.
370
00:14:43,978 --> 00:14:45,269
-Ah.
-Mr. Takahashi:
Gentlemen,
371
00:14:45,353 --> 00:14:47,645
I see you're not
eating your food.
372
00:14:47,728 --> 00:14:50,019
-Freddy: No.
-Is there a problem?
373
00:14:50,103 --> 00:14:51,436
-Ah. Ah.
-No.
374
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,019
-Food's good.
-If not food...
375
00:14:53,103 --> 00:14:55,436
-No.
-...must be waitress.
376
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,228
All (muttering): No.
377
00:14:57,311 --> 00:14:59,228
-Diane.
-All: No, no, no.
378
00:14:59,311 --> 00:15:00,728
And her diarrhea.
379
00:15:00,812 --> 00:15:03,645
All (groaning):
No, no, no, no!
380
00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:06,520
How do you even know
about any diarrhea?
381
00:15:06,603 --> 00:15:08,395
Everyone knows about diarrhea.
382
00:15:08,478 --> 00:15:09,978
It wasn't the diarrhea.
383
00:15:10,061 --> 00:15:12,436
If it's not diarrhea,
what is it?
384
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,687
-I...
-I don't know what
it would be called.
385
00:15:14,770 --> 00:15:16,687
Diane:
Club sandwich
and your soup.
386
00:15:16,770 --> 00:15:19,478
All right, you guys
let me know if you need
anything else, okay?
387
00:15:24,812 --> 00:15:26,603
(Mr. Takahashi sighs)
388
00:15:26,687 --> 00:15:28,937
(speaks Japanese)
389
00:15:29,019 --> 00:15:30,687
Oh, boy.
390
00:15:30,770 --> 00:15:32,520
(yelling):
Diane!
391
00:15:32,603 --> 00:15:33,937
No one wants this.
392
00:15:34,019 --> 00:15:37,478
(all muttering)
393
00:15:43,395 --> 00:15:44,770
Larry:
Hey.
394
00:15:44,853 --> 00:15:46,144
Hi.
395
00:15:46,228 --> 00:15:47,603
I saw Takahashi yelling at you.
396
00:15:47,687 --> 00:15:50,228
Don't take that personally.
He yells at everybody.
397
00:15:50,311 --> 00:15:51,895
Well, he fired me, so...
398
00:15:51,978 --> 00:15:53,019
Oh, my God.
399
00:15:53,103 --> 00:15:54,978
-He fired you?
-Well, yeah.
400
00:15:55,061 --> 00:15:56,978
So what do you do?
You just, waiting--
401
00:15:57,061 --> 00:15:58,311
You're taking a bus?
402
00:15:58,395 --> 00:15:59,520
Yeah.
403
00:15:59,603 --> 00:16:01,019
-You don't have a car?
-No.
404
00:16:01,103 --> 00:16:02,269
Cars are expensive.
405
00:16:02,353 --> 00:16:03,770
-Where are you going?
-Going home.
406
00:16:03,853 --> 00:16:05,728
All right, come on.
I'll take you.
407
00:16:07,395 --> 00:16:10,269
-Well, I appreciate
you driving me home.
-Ah, of course.
408
00:16:10,353 --> 00:16:13,186
Sorry about the whole
incident. I mean...
409
00:16:13,269 --> 00:16:15,645
-Firing. I can't be fired.
-I, yeah, I, I didn't...
I didn't...
410
00:16:15,728 --> 00:16:17,436
certainly mean
to get you fired.
411
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,144
-You could have
just eaten the soup.
-Really?
412
00:16:20,228 --> 00:16:22,728
With your sweat in the soup?
I won't even eat my own sweat.
413
00:16:22,812 --> 00:16:25,645
Huh? One drop of sweat
is like plutonium.
414
00:16:25,728 --> 00:16:27,978
You would eat my sweat
if I dripped sweat
in your soup?
415
00:16:28,061 --> 00:16:30,561
I don't know,
but to be polite,
it's like, I don't know.
416
00:16:30,645 --> 00:16:32,478
You'd eat your sweat
to be polite?
417
00:16:32,561 --> 00:16:33,645
If I had a girlfriend--
418
00:16:33,728 --> 00:16:35,520
My wife, my ex-wife,
if she came
419
00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:37,144
and served me some soup
and sweated in the soup,
420
00:16:37,228 --> 00:16:38,603
I'm not, I'm not gonna
eat the soup.
421
00:16:38,687 --> 00:16:40,478
Maybe that's
why you don't have
a girlfriend or a wife.
422
00:16:40,561 --> 00:16:42,645
Oh, really? You think
the majority of people
who are in relationships
423
00:16:42,728 --> 00:16:43,645
wanna eat sweat soup?
424
00:16:43,728 --> 00:16:45,436
If your girlfriend
accidentally
425
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:46,770
sweat in your soup,
426
00:16:46,853 --> 00:16:48,395
it would be insulting
to not eat it.
427
00:16:48,478 --> 00:16:49,770
That would be
a deal breaker for me.
428
00:16:49,853 --> 00:16:51,144
You can't sweat in food.
It's just...
429
00:16:51,228 --> 00:16:52,645
(chuckles)
It's like...
430
00:16:52,728 --> 00:16:54,228
It's on the list of rules
for a waitress.
431
00:16:54,311 --> 00:16:55,603
-Yeah. Okay.
-"Don't sweat in food."
432
00:16:55,687 --> 00:16:57,019
Maybe it's a blessing
in disguise.
433
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,978
I'm not sure you're really
cut out for waitressing.
434
00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:02,687
Between the sweat
and then that whole
diarrhea incident--
435
00:17:02,770 --> 00:17:03,937
Okay, I'm just trying
to be a waitress,
436
00:17:04,019 --> 00:17:05,269
and I wait on you again--
437
00:17:05,353 --> 00:17:06,853
-(honks)
-Come on, asshole!
438
00:17:06,937 --> 00:17:08,520
I wait on you guys
all the time.
439
00:17:08,603 --> 00:17:09,937
I just figured
you would get it.
440
00:17:10,019 --> 00:17:12,353
No, no one, no one gets it.
No one's gonna get that.
441
00:17:12,436 --> 00:17:15,061
No one's down
with diarrhea, Diane!
442
00:17:15,144 --> 00:17:17,103
Okay. Well, now I know.
And now I--
443
00:17:17,186 --> 00:17:19,603
It cost me my job,
so now I'm... I've learned.
444
00:17:19,687 --> 00:17:21,520
So what are
you gonna do now?
445
00:17:21,603 --> 00:17:25,019
-I don't know.
I used to do retail, so...
-Yeah.
446
00:17:25,103 --> 00:17:26,645
I guess
maybe I won't do that.
447
00:17:26,728 --> 00:17:29,186
Hey, you...
You know what?
448
00:17:29,269 --> 00:17:31,395
I just opened up
a coffee shop.
449
00:17:31,478 --> 00:17:34,311
I could actually
use somebody in,
in the store.
450
00:17:34,395 --> 00:17:36,978
-If you're...
If you're interested.
-Really?
451
00:17:37,061 --> 00:17:39,395
I would, of-- Yeah.
I would, I would be interested.
452
00:17:39,478 --> 00:17:40,853
-Of course.
-You would?
453
00:17:40,937 --> 00:17:42,520
-You have AC?
-Yeah.
454
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:44,061
-Great.
-Fantastic.
455
00:17:44,144 --> 00:17:45,436
It's just amazing to me
456
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,228
-how things work out
sometimes, you know?
-Yeah.
457
00:17:47,311 --> 00:17:49,603
Hey, let me ask you
this question.
458
00:17:49,687 --> 00:17:51,395
Do you like licorice?
459
00:17:51,478 --> 00:17:53,061
Sometimes I like a black,
460
00:17:53,144 --> 00:17:55,186
and then I'll go weeks
with only wanting red.
461
00:17:55,269 --> 00:17:57,478
-Yeah.
-And then I switch
back to black.
462
00:17:57,561 --> 00:17:59,728
-Mr. David. What a surprise.
-Larry: Oh!
463
00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:02,228
-Hello!
-What's the problem today?
464
00:18:02,311 --> 00:18:05,228
-Well, uh...
-Let me guess.
465
00:18:05,311 --> 00:18:07,228
Another mysterious odor?
466
00:18:07,311 --> 00:18:09,561
Possibly a sound
like a snake?
467
00:18:09,645 --> 00:18:10,603
-No.
-No?
468
00:18:10,687 --> 00:18:12,895
-No. Actually...
-Yes?
469
00:18:12,978 --> 00:18:14,937
Looking for a new car.
470
00:18:15,019 --> 00:18:16,728
-Really?
-Yeah, really.
471
00:18:16,812 --> 00:18:19,395
And my friend Diane
is gonna help me
pick one out.
472
00:18:19,478 --> 00:18:20,770
She knows all about cars.
473
00:18:20,853 --> 00:18:22,144
She gets Motor Trend magazine.
474
00:18:22,228 --> 00:18:23,895
-She reads all that stuff.
-Diane: I do.
475
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,645
I know all the brands.
476
00:18:25,728 --> 00:18:27,770
And I'm so dissatisfied
with my car
477
00:18:27,853 --> 00:18:31,019
-because of everything
that you just alluded to.
-Uh-huh.
478
00:18:31,103 --> 00:18:32,436
-So you want a new car?
-Yeah.
479
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:33,687
Well, why don't you
head on over there
480
00:18:33,770 --> 00:18:34,770
where the cars are.
481
00:18:34,853 --> 00:18:37,019
You know what?
I know where the cars are.
482
00:18:37,103 --> 00:18:38,144
Well, shall we go over there?
483
00:18:38,228 --> 00:18:39,937
Yeah, yeah.
We're gonna go over there.
484
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:41,019
Great. Let's go.
485
00:18:41,103 --> 00:18:42,812
Oh, you gotta get
a piece of this.
486
00:18:42,895 --> 00:18:44,770
Oh, this is tremendous.
You gotta get a piece of this.
487
00:18:44,853 --> 00:18:46,228
-Okay. Wow.
-Yeah. Yeah.
488
00:18:46,311 --> 00:18:48,019
-What is this even?
-It's licorice.
489
00:18:48,103 --> 00:18:49,436
-Oh. Cool.
-Yeah.
490
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:53,186
Why don't we shop
for a new car now?
491
00:18:54,228 --> 00:18:57,812
You know what?
That's exactly
what I'm gonna do.
492
00:18:57,895 --> 00:19:00,269
-This looks-- yeah, yeah.
-Right? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Wonderful.
493
00:19:00,353 --> 00:19:02,311
-That looks good.
-That's wonderful.
That's wonderful.
494
00:19:02,395 --> 00:19:04,353
-That's a good one.
-Look at that.
495
00:19:04,436 --> 00:19:07,395
-Huh? How about that one?
-Diane: Yeah. Beautiful rims.
496
00:19:07,478 --> 00:19:09,311
-Larry: Yeah.
-This is so good.
497
00:19:09,395 --> 00:19:10,561
Yeah. Told you.
498
00:19:10,645 --> 00:19:11,728
Larry:
I think it's from Germany.
499
00:19:11,812 --> 00:19:13,019
Diane:
I want to get a red one.
500
00:19:13,103 --> 00:19:14,520
-Larry: Well, let's go. Yeah.
-Diane: Yeah.
501
00:19:14,603 --> 00:19:16,144
Look, you don't fool me,
Mr. David.
502
00:19:16,228 --> 00:19:20,144
-You're not here to buy a car.
-Well, you are mistaken, okay?
503
00:19:20,228 --> 00:19:21,770
I am here to buy
a new car.
504
00:19:21,853 --> 00:19:24,061
-Am I not buying a car?
-Yeah, what is-- What?
505
00:19:24,144 --> 00:19:26,186
I don't believe you
for a second.
506
00:19:26,269 --> 00:19:27,770
-Oh, you don't?
-That is correct.
507
00:19:27,853 --> 00:19:29,978
-I'm buying a car!
-Oh, really?
You're buying a car?
508
00:19:30,061 --> 00:19:31,311
-Uh, yes, I am.
-Which one?
509
00:19:31,395 --> 00:19:32,645
-Which one?
-Salesman: Yeah, which one?
510
00:19:32,728 --> 00:19:33,603
-Which one?
-That one!
511
00:19:33,687 --> 00:19:34,520
Yeah. That one!
512
00:19:34,603 --> 00:19:35,520
You're buying that one.
513
00:19:35,603 --> 00:19:36,645
Yeah, I'm buying that one.
514
00:19:36,728 --> 00:19:37,937
-The I-8.
-Yeah.
515
00:19:38,019 --> 00:19:39,603
-Yeah.
-That's a top-of-the-line car.
516
00:19:39,687 --> 00:19:40,812
That's why I'm buying it.
517
00:19:40,895 --> 00:19:41,645
You can drive that
off the lot right now.
518
00:19:41,728 --> 00:19:42,645
Okay. I will.
519
00:19:42,728 --> 00:19:43,478
Get the paperwork.
520
00:19:43,561 --> 00:19:44,478
I want it fully loaded.
521
00:19:44,561 --> 00:19:45,770
-Great choice.
-Good.
522
00:19:45,853 --> 00:19:47,395
-I'm not gettin'
a new car, huh?
-Larry,
523
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,603
he bought it!
He totally thinks
you're buying a new car!
524
00:19:49,687 --> 00:19:51,478
I am buying a new car!
525
00:19:51,561 --> 00:19:54,520
-Really?
-Who does he think he is?
He can't talk to me like that!
526
00:19:54,603 --> 00:19:56,603
-Salesman: Congratulations.
-Thank you.
527
00:19:56,687 --> 00:19:58,103
-You are quite welcome.
-Yeah, okay.
528
00:19:58,186 --> 00:20:01,311
So you thought I was just
walking around the showroom,
529
00:20:01,395 --> 00:20:03,186
you know, eating licorice.
530
00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:04,687
-Right? Huh?
-You stepped up to the plate.
Now you got
531
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:06,269
-a beautiful piece
of machinery right here.
-Yeah.
532
00:20:06,353 --> 00:20:08,478
-I got something else
for you. Hold on.
-Yeah.
533
00:20:10,436 --> 00:20:11,978
Oh, my God.
534
00:20:12,061 --> 00:20:13,687
-Look at this!
Licorice!
-Wow.
535
00:20:13,770 --> 00:20:15,144
-That's a nice touch.
-Wow.
536
00:20:15,228 --> 00:20:17,019
All right, you enjoy that.
Don't tell anybody else.
537
00:20:17,103 --> 00:20:18,812
-We don't like to give it out
to just anybody.
-Don't worry.
538
00:20:18,895 --> 00:20:20,561
-Congratulations. Yeah.
-All right. Thank you.
539
00:20:20,645 --> 00:20:22,186
-Drive safe.
-Okay.
540
00:20:22,269 --> 00:20:25,186
-Hey, look at this, huh?
-Wow.
541
00:20:25,269 --> 00:20:27,687
-Thank you.
-Yeah.
542
00:20:27,770 --> 00:20:30,395
Look what I got. Huh?
543
00:20:30,478 --> 00:20:32,812
Is this even me? This car?
I mean, look at it.
544
00:20:32,895 --> 00:20:34,436
A lot of the douchebags
at the club have it.
545
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,311
No offense. But this is
a popular car at the club.
546
00:20:37,395 --> 00:20:39,395
Oh. Now I got the other car.
I got two cars.
547
00:20:39,478 --> 00:20:41,978
That's your biggest problem.
You got two cars. I mean--
548
00:20:42,061 --> 00:20:43,978
I don't even have one car.
I don't even know
549
00:20:44,061 --> 00:20:45,978
what bus I'm gonna take
to my new job.
550
00:20:47,395 --> 00:20:48,561
Okay.
551
00:20:48,645 --> 00:20:49,978
What?
552
00:20:51,478 --> 00:20:52,687
No.
553
00:20:52,770 --> 00:20:54,061
(keys clink)
554
00:20:54,144 --> 00:20:55,687
Yeah. Go ahead.
555
00:20:55,770 --> 00:20:57,061
-Take the car.
-Are you kidding?
556
00:20:57,144 --> 00:20:58,228
Take it! Take the car.
557
00:20:58,311 --> 00:20:59,311
Larry, this is n--
558
00:20:59,395 --> 00:21:00,895
-Huh? Yeah.
-I'm just gonna take it?
559
00:21:00,978 --> 00:21:02,812
This is worth
getting fired over.
Are you kidding me?
560
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,895
This is an incredible day.
Thank you.
561
00:21:04,978 --> 00:21:06,895
I will see you at work.
562
00:21:06,978 --> 00:21:08,895
-I gave you a car!
-You just gave me a car!
563
00:21:08,978 --> 00:21:11,269
I gave you a car!
What's wrong with me?
564
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:14,144
I don't think anything.
Uh, how do I get to
the freeway from here?
565
00:21:14,228 --> 00:21:16,019
Take a right,
then another right,
566
00:21:16,103 --> 00:21:18,103
then go through the light,
and second left.
567
00:21:18,186 --> 00:21:20,645
♪ ♪
568
00:21:40,269 --> 00:21:43,228
♪ ♪
569
00:21:55,061 --> 00:21:56,436
Go.
570
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,812
What are you doing?
Come on.
571
00:21:58,895 --> 00:22:00,186
(mutters)
572
00:22:01,812 --> 00:22:03,478
(horn blares)
573
00:22:03,561 --> 00:22:05,103
(engine revs)
574
00:22:05,186 --> 00:22:07,687
(yelling)
575
00:22:07,770 --> 00:22:09,937
-Aah!
-Larry: What the fuck?
576
00:22:10,019 --> 00:22:11,687
Larry?
577
00:22:15,144 --> 00:22:16,353
Are you kidding?
578
00:22:16,436 --> 00:22:17,978
-You came out of nowhere.
-I came out of--
579
00:22:18,061 --> 00:22:19,645
-You were on your cell phone!
-Larry,
580
00:22:19,728 --> 00:22:21,311
you just went right through.
581
00:22:21,395 --> 00:22:23,019
I know exactly
what happened.
I saw it.
582
00:22:23,103 --> 00:22:24,311
I looked at you,
you were texting.
583
00:22:24,395 --> 00:22:26,269
Somebody beeped you,
you had beep panic,
584
00:22:26,353 --> 00:22:27,561
you threw the phone away.
585
00:22:27,645 --> 00:22:29,186
Look, there's your phone
right in the front seat.
586
00:22:29,269 --> 00:22:31,520
You threw it down.
And you were playing
Candy Crush!
587
00:22:31,603 --> 00:22:33,978
I've done it myself.
I just had beep panic
the other day.
588
00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:35,937
(clears throat)
Fine. They scared me,
behind me.
589
00:22:36,019 --> 00:22:37,395
-And I went. And I went!
-Of course. I know.
590
00:22:37,478 --> 00:22:39,019
-Okay. So okay.
-I know how it works,
so okay.
591
00:22:39,103 --> 00:22:41,103
So we've both done it.
I see it. I get it.
592
00:22:41,186 --> 00:22:42,770
All right.
I guess that, um,
593
00:22:42,853 --> 00:22:44,770
I mean, we should
exchange information.
594
00:22:44,853 --> 00:22:46,019
-What are you talking about?
-Well...
595
00:22:46,103 --> 00:22:47,186
It's all my information.
596
00:22:47,269 --> 00:22:48,687
Anyway, look at this.
597
00:22:48,770 --> 00:22:49,978
Nothing's wrong
with this car.
598
00:22:50,061 --> 00:22:51,853
There's a little dent
in the bumper, but...
599
00:22:51,937 --> 00:22:52,937
This is bad.
600
00:22:53,019 --> 00:22:54,353
-(sighs)
-Oh, my God.
601
00:22:54,436 --> 00:22:56,019
Okay, you know what?
I'm gonna call the, uh,
602
00:22:56,103 --> 00:22:57,353
tow company.
603
00:22:57,436 --> 00:22:59,978
I'll get the new one towed,
and, and then I'll...
604
00:23:00,061 --> 00:23:01,603
I'll, you know,
I'll take you home.
605
00:23:01,687 --> 00:23:03,228
Your cars is the one
that's being towed.
606
00:23:03,311 --> 00:23:06,103
-How are you gonna
drive me home?
-I'll drive you home in my car.
607
00:23:06,186 --> 00:23:07,478
This is my car.
608
00:23:07,561 --> 00:23:09,853
(scoffs)
Come on.
What do you--
609
00:23:09,937 --> 00:23:12,019
-This is my--
You just gave me this car.
-What do you mean it's your car?
610
00:23:12,103 --> 00:23:14,603
Yes, I gave it to you
with very good intentions,
611
00:23:14,687 --> 00:23:16,186
until you wrecked my car!
612
00:23:16,269 --> 00:23:18,103
-You gave me the car,
so it's my car.
-Are you serious?
613
00:23:18,186 --> 00:23:19,395
-Are you serious?
-What?
614
00:23:19,478 --> 00:23:21,061
You just give away cars
and take 'em back?
615
00:23:21,144 --> 00:23:23,728
Oprah doesn't just
give out cars and then
take them back.
616
00:23:23,812 --> 00:23:26,103
Does that seem fair to you
that I gave you a car,
617
00:23:26,186 --> 00:23:28,061
you hit my new car,
and now I don't have a car?
618
00:23:28,144 --> 00:23:30,728
-That seems fair?
-I, I don't know.
What is fair?
619
00:23:30,812 --> 00:23:33,061
-No.
-What's fair is for things
to go back to the way,
620
00:23:33,144 --> 00:23:35,061
the way they were
15 minutes ago...
621
00:23:35,144 --> 00:23:38,603
-Well, I didn't have a car
15 minutes ago and now I do.
-...when I had a car.
622
00:23:38,687 --> 00:23:40,228
Well, I would love
to give you a ride home.
623
00:23:40,311 --> 00:23:41,645
I would love to give you
a ride home.
624
00:23:41,728 --> 00:23:43,853
Well, how are you gonna
do that without a car, Larry?
625
00:23:45,353 --> 00:23:47,395
(sighs)
Please take me home.
626
00:23:47,478 --> 00:23:48,812
-Okay.
-Thank you.
627
00:23:50,478 --> 00:23:53,311
-It's unbelievable.
Now I gotta get a new car.
-Uh-huh.
628
00:23:53,395 --> 00:23:55,186
I'm gonna get rid of
that new one,
629
00:23:55,269 --> 00:23:57,228
and I'm gonna buy
the same car I had before.
630
00:23:57,311 --> 00:23:58,603
Why don't you just
drive your old car?
631
00:23:58,687 --> 00:23:59,812
I gave it away.
632
00:23:59,895 --> 00:24:01,812
When you tell
a motherfucker
that story,
633
00:24:01,895 --> 00:24:03,895
you should say,
"Lo and behold."
634
00:24:03,978 --> 00:24:05,645
When a motherfucker says,
"Lo and behold,"
635
00:24:05,728 --> 00:24:08,770
-it makes me fuckin' react.
-Oh, that is such
a good observation.
636
00:24:08,853 --> 00:24:10,978
-"Lo and behold..."
-Yeah. Lo and behold,
637
00:24:11,061 --> 00:24:13,061
I gotta buy my,
my old car new.
638
00:24:13,144 --> 00:24:15,436
Now the story don't sound
so far-fetched and shit.
639
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,561
Hey, how many pieces
of licorice have you had?
640
00:24:17,645 --> 00:24:18,978
Maybe about eight.
641
00:24:19,061 --> 00:24:20,937
I haven't seen you take
one piece of red licorice yet.
642
00:24:21,019 --> 00:24:22,853
-Only black for you?
-Fuck, yeah.
643
00:24:22,937 --> 00:24:24,311
Everything's black,
isn't it? Right?
644
00:24:24,395 --> 00:24:27,311
Something wrong with a person
supporting black and shit?
645
00:24:27,395 --> 00:24:29,812
Black licorice,
black jelly beans,
646
00:24:29,895 --> 00:24:31,395
fuckin' blackouts,
647
00:24:31,478 --> 00:24:33,770
burnt toast.
I don't give a fuck,
I eat burnt toast.
648
00:24:33,853 --> 00:24:35,144
Oh, so you must love
pumpernickel.
649
00:24:35,228 --> 00:24:37,436
Oh, fuck yeah.
I take that piece
of burnt-ass toast,
650
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,603
put it between two pieces
of fuckin' pumpernickel,
651
00:24:39,687 --> 00:24:41,937
have a burnt-toast
pumpernickel sandwich.
652
00:24:42,019 --> 00:24:44,103
-You feel me?
-Oh, I feel you.
653
00:24:44,186 --> 00:24:45,478
Hey, when are you going
on that golf trip?
654
00:24:45,561 --> 00:24:46,645
You know, I've been
thinking about it.
655
00:24:46,728 --> 00:24:48,478
Jeff's not going.
I'm not gonna go.
656
00:24:48,561 --> 00:24:49,645
-Oh.
-It's ridiculous.
657
00:24:49,728 --> 00:24:50,895
That big motherfucker's
the glue.
658
00:24:50,978 --> 00:24:51,937
Yeah, he's the glue.
659
00:24:52,019 --> 00:24:54,019
Mm. Jesus.
660
00:24:54,103 --> 00:24:57,728
Boy, my stomach's
really bothering me.
661
00:24:58,895 --> 00:25:01,895
-(doorbell rings)
-Oh. Hey. That's Mocha Joe.
662
00:25:01,978 --> 00:25:05,269
He wants to talk to me.
So, um, do me a favor.
663
00:25:05,353 --> 00:25:07,395
-Keep an eye on him.
I don't trust this guy.
-Yeah.
664
00:25:07,478 --> 00:25:08,520
-All right?
-You're right.
665
00:25:08,603 --> 00:25:09,770
I don't trust him, either.
666
00:25:09,853 --> 00:25:11,728
Larry:
So, Mocha Joe,
667
00:25:11,812 --> 00:25:13,728
what can we do for you?
668
00:25:14,603 --> 00:25:16,019
Does he have to be here?
669
00:25:16,103 --> 00:25:18,103
-I was hoping
we could talk alone.
-Larry: Yeah, well,
670
00:25:18,186 --> 00:25:19,561
he's a business associate.
671
00:25:19,645 --> 00:25:23,103
We actually refer to him
as the bean-meister.
672
00:25:23,186 --> 00:25:25,561
-He's always staring at me.
-Larry: I wouldn't
worry about it.
673
00:25:25,645 --> 00:25:27,436
-He stays.
-All right, look.
You know,
674
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,019
I've been thinking about this,
what's going on between us,
675
00:25:29,103 --> 00:25:30,603
-and I just wanna...
-(stomach rumbling)
676
00:25:30,687 --> 00:25:33,353
-(Leon chuckles)
-...say that, uh,
I think we need to...
677
00:25:33,436 --> 00:25:34,603
(stomach gurgling)
678
00:25:34,687 --> 00:25:35,853
Mocha Joe:
It's time that we, uh...
679
00:25:35,937 --> 00:25:37,770
-(gurgling)
-Aah!
680
00:25:38,478 --> 00:25:40,520
-Mocha Joe:
Something wrong?
-(yells)
681
00:25:40,603 --> 00:25:42,561
-(groans)
-(loud gurgling)
682
00:25:43,687 --> 00:25:45,978
Mocha Joe:
You okay? You don't look good.
683
00:25:46,061 --> 00:25:48,603
Aah, just excuse me
just for a second.
684
00:25:49,728 --> 00:25:51,353
-(stomach gurgling)
-Larry: Aah!
685
00:25:51,436 --> 00:25:52,645
(yells):
Oh!
686
00:25:52,728 --> 00:25:55,770
(Larry groaning loudly)
687
00:25:56,812 --> 00:25:59,561
(pained groaning continues)
688
00:26:00,812 --> 00:26:02,770
(Larry yells)
689
00:26:02,853 --> 00:26:04,561
You think maybe
you should check on him?
690
00:26:04,645 --> 00:26:06,019
(whispers):
He's good.
691
00:26:07,061 --> 00:26:09,311
(stomach gurgling)
692
00:26:09,395 --> 00:26:10,812
(groans)
693
00:26:10,895 --> 00:26:12,103
You okay?
694
00:26:12,186 --> 00:26:15,186
-I'm fine.
-(stomach gurgling)
695
00:26:15,645 --> 00:26:17,603
(Leon groans)
696
00:26:20,353 --> 00:26:21,561
You don't look too good.
697
00:26:21,645 --> 00:26:24,061
-(panting)
-(stomach gurgling loudly)
698
00:26:24,144 --> 00:26:26,061
(grunting)
699
00:26:26,144 --> 00:26:28,228
-If you will excuse me...
-Mocha Joe: Sure thing.
700
00:26:28,311 --> 00:26:30,353
-(stomach gurgling)
-(Leon moans)
701
00:26:30,978 --> 00:26:33,478
-(door closes)
-(Leon groaning)
702
00:26:33,561 --> 00:26:35,687
(pained moaning)
703
00:26:35,770 --> 00:26:40,978
(Larry and Leon moaning
and groaning)
704
00:26:42,561 --> 00:26:45,561
(yelling and moaning
continues)
705
00:27:06,853 --> 00:27:09,019
(toilet flushes)
706
00:27:18,603 --> 00:27:21,353
(toilet flushes)
707
00:27:24,186 --> 00:27:25,436
Ooh.
708
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:27,061
Where is he?
709
00:27:27,144 --> 00:27:28,478
I don't know.
710
00:27:28,561 --> 00:27:29,687
Mocha Joe!
711
00:27:29,770 --> 00:27:31,645
You were supposed to watch him!
712
00:27:31,728 --> 00:27:33,353
My belly started
to fuckin' bubble.
713
00:27:33,436 --> 00:27:35,103
I couldn't control myself!
714
00:27:37,728 --> 00:27:40,353
-(stomachs gurgling)
-(both yelling)
715
00:27:42,561 --> 00:27:45,645
(yelling and moaning continues)
716
00:27:45,728 --> 00:27:47,061
(door closes)
717
00:27:47,144 --> 00:27:48,770
I come out of the bathroom...
718
00:27:48,853 --> 00:27:50,895
-(claps)
-...he's not there.
719
00:27:50,978 --> 00:27:52,311
Not there.
720
00:27:52,395 --> 00:27:53,812
He's just negotiating.
721
00:27:53,895 --> 00:27:56,144
That's negotiating?
On what planet
is that negotiating?
722
00:27:56,228 --> 00:27:58,812
I do it with my mattress guys.
I have 'em out there
pounding cotton.
723
00:27:58,895 --> 00:28:01,144
And, uh, family throws out
a quote they don't like,
724
00:28:01,228 --> 00:28:02,478
I tell 'em to just
get out of there,
walk away.
725
00:28:02,561 --> 00:28:03,978
Mocha Joe's not negotiating.
726
00:28:04,061 --> 00:28:05,645
That sucker's got
something up his sleeve.
727
00:28:05,728 --> 00:28:08,311
Now, let's talk about
something that we're
all excited about--
728
00:28:08,395 --> 00:28:10,520
a little magical place
called Pebble Beach.
729
00:28:10,603 --> 00:28:12,853
By the way, I, I'm not
gonna go on the golf trip.
730
00:28:12,937 --> 00:28:14,561
-Why not?
-I don't wanna go
with three guys.
731
00:28:14,645 --> 00:28:16,353
All right, you don't
wanna do three,
we'll find a fourth.
732
00:28:16,436 --> 00:28:18,520
Okay, you know what?
It, it's not even that.
733
00:28:18,603 --> 00:28:19,978
I, I don't wanna do it
without Jeff.
734
00:28:20,061 --> 00:28:21,687
Jeff was the glue, anyway.
Let's face it.
735
00:28:21,770 --> 00:28:23,520
-His absence will be felt.
-That's true.
736
00:28:23,603 --> 00:28:25,311
I wasn't that thrilled
about going, either,
737
00:28:25,395 --> 00:28:27,436
-without Jeff.
Maybe it's best for me.
-See?
738
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:30,436
I do have the play coming up
and I gotta study my lines.
739
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:32,937
Can we prevail upon you
to give us a...
740
00:28:33,019 --> 00:28:34,269
a little snippet?
741
00:28:34,353 --> 00:28:35,353
-The role?
-Larry: Yeah.
742
00:28:35,436 --> 00:28:36,520
I'd love to see the process.
743
00:28:36,603 --> 00:28:37,687
Freddy wants to see it.
744
00:28:37,770 --> 00:28:39,353
Aah, that's a little unfair.
I mean, look,
745
00:28:39,436 --> 00:28:41,186
-the people are around here--
-Larry: Yeah, so what?
746
00:28:41,269 --> 00:28:42,645
-Come on, Charlie.
-Richard: Nah, no.
747
00:28:42,728 --> 00:28:45,144
Yoo-hoo, Charlie!
Charlie, are you in there?
748
00:28:45,228 --> 00:28:49,061
Charlie! Char-- Charlie!
749
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:54,061
I'm gonna get that operation.
You know why?
750
00:28:54,144 --> 00:28:58,395
'Cause I'm smart.
I'm smarter than that mouse,
that stupid mouse.
751
00:28:58,478 --> 00:29:00,937
-(laughs)
-(laughs)
752
00:29:01,019 --> 00:29:03,561
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
-Why are you laughing?
753
00:29:03,645 --> 00:29:05,395
Jeez, a compliment.
You have a natural touch.
754
00:29:05,478 --> 00:29:07,561
-It was the initial response.
But it's very good.
-Freddy: Yeah.
755
00:29:07,645 --> 00:29:11,019
-It was hilarious.
-It's not hilarious.
I'm a-- It's dramatic.
756
00:29:11,103 --> 00:29:12,353
It was very moving, then.
757
00:29:16,728 --> 00:29:18,645
-(Susie chuckles)
-Wow.
758
00:29:18,728 --> 00:29:19,937
-What do you know?
-Look who's here.
759
00:29:20,019 --> 00:29:21,353
-Coming for a little lunch?
-Susie: Yeah.
760
00:29:21,436 --> 00:29:22,436
What the hell is this?
761
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:23,603
Oh, this is my loaner car.
762
00:29:23,687 --> 00:29:25,144
-Yeah, but it's white.
-Larry: So what?
763
00:29:25,228 --> 00:29:27,269
The color of a car
doesn't really matter to me,
764
00:29:27,353 --> 00:29:30,311
because I don't really see it
when I'm inside the car.
765
00:29:30,395 --> 00:29:31,728
It's like being inside
your face.
766
00:29:31,812 --> 00:29:33,103
I don't know what
my face looks like.
767
00:29:33,186 --> 00:29:34,186
Who forgets their face?
768
00:29:34,269 --> 00:29:35,770
I'm in a capsule.
I don't know.
769
00:29:35,853 --> 00:29:37,895
Everything's coming from
inside the capsule.
770
00:29:37,978 --> 00:29:39,728
So the outside of the car
is a mystery to me.
771
00:29:39,812 --> 00:29:42,061
I don't believe you
for a fucking second.
772
00:29:42,144 --> 00:29:43,895
And I think you're obsessed
with the white car,
773
00:29:43,978 --> 00:29:45,937
-and you're embarrassed by it.
-Larry: Hey, by the way,
774
00:29:46,019 --> 00:29:47,937
our little golf trip
to Pebble Beach...
775
00:29:48,019 --> 00:29:50,186
-Yeah?
-...has been canceled.
776
00:29:50,269 --> 00:29:51,603
Boo-fucking-hoo.
777
00:29:51,687 --> 00:29:53,770
Yeah, anyway, you know,
I have something for you here
778
00:29:53,853 --> 00:29:55,603
-you might enjoy. Yeah.
-Really?
779
00:29:55,687 --> 00:29:56,895
-Here you go.
-What is this?
780
00:29:56,978 --> 00:29:58,561
It's only the best licorice
in the world.
781
00:29:58,645 --> 00:30:01,520
It comes from Bavaria.
You'll never taste
anything like it.
782
00:30:01,603 --> 00:30:03,895
Turn the TV on,
put that in front of you,
783
00:30:03,978 --> 00:30:05,770
and, and you will
enjoy yourself.
784
00:30:05,853 --> 00:30:08,478
-All right, well, thank you,
Lar. I appreciate it.
-All right. Okay. Sure.
785
00:30:08,561 --> 00:30:11,311
Have a nice day
in your white car.
786
00:30:11,395 --> 00:30:12,603
By the way,
I don't see the hood.
787
00:30:12,687 --> 00:30:14,603
-By the way,
I don't believe you.
-Yeah.
788
00:30:14,687 --> 00:30:15,853
-Bye, Lar.
-Bye.
789
00:30:15,937 --> 00:30:17,019
-Thank you.
-Sure.
790
00:30:17,103 --> 00:30:18,144
What the fuck am I
gonna do with this?
791
00:30:18,228 --> 00:30:19,687
I hate licorice.
It's disgusting.
792
00:30:19,770 --> 00:30:21,812
Larry:
Cappuccino for Katie!
Cappuccino for Katie!
793
00:30:21,895 --> 00:30:23,395
Cappuccino for Katie .
794
00:30:23,478 --> 00:30:27,436
Okay, coffee and a croissant.
795
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,019
Larry, we need to charge
the self-heating cups.
796
00:30:29,103 --> 00:30:30,561
Where's Diane?
She's supposed to be here.
797
00:30:30,645 --> 00:30:31,853
I have no idea where she is!
798
00:30:31,937 --> 00:30:34,895
Oh, my God.
What is wrong with her?
799
00:30:34,978 --> 00:30:36,311
(phone chimes)
800
00:30:36,395 --> 00:30:38,645
-Oh, hey, Larry.
-Larry (over phone):
Where are you?
801
00:30:38,728 --> 00:30:41,937
Oh! Oh, my goodness.
I totally forgot.
802
00:30:42,019 --> 00:30:44,311
I'm so sorry.
I was gonna call you.
803
00:30:44,395 --> 00:30:47,228
I'm actually not gonna
come in anymore.
804
00:30:47,311 --> 00:30:49,895
-What? What are you
talking about?
-I just wanna travel
805
00:30:49,978 --> 00:30:52,061
while I have the chance
before I get another job.
806
00:30:52,144 --> 00:30:53,353
-You have a job!
-I'm thinking of
807
00:30:53,436 --> 00:30:55,395
going to Europe
or maybe Thailand.
808
00:30:55,478 --> 00:30:57,311
Europe? You can't go to Europe!
You don't have any money.
809
00:30:57,395 --> 00:30:59,186
Well, actually,
I sold my car.
810
00:30:59,269 --> 00:31:01,269
Oh, my God.
You sold my car?
811
00:31:01,353 --> 00:31:03,311
-Are you kidding?
-Well, it was actually my car,
812
00:31:03,395 --> 00:31:06,687
and I sold it on eBay,
which I didn't know you
could even do.
813
00:31:06,770 --> 00:31:08,728
-What the fuck?
-It was pretty low mileage.
814
00:31:08,812 --> 00:31:11,853
-So I got a lot for it.
-I gave it to you so you'd
have something to drive.
815
00:31:11,937 --> 00:31:13,019
'Cause I was a nice guy.
816
00:31:13,103 --> 00:31:14,520
Well, I don't need
to drive anymore,
817
00:31:14,603 --> 00:31:15,728
'cause I'm going on this trip.
818
00:31:15,812 --> 00:31:17,144
Aah!
819
00:31:17,228 --> 00:31:18,520
-Hey, uh, we're out of napkins.
-(scoffs)
820
00:31:18,603 --> 00:31:19,895
Barista:
They're in the back.
821
00:31:20,436 --> 00:31:21,812
Next?
822
00:31:23,103 --> 00:31:24,937
Hello? Next!
823
00:31:25,603 --> 00:31:26,353
Sir?
824
00:31:26,436 --> 00:31:27,603
-Hey!
-Oh.
825
00:31:27,687 --> 00:31:29,019
(chair whirring)
826
00:31:29,103 --> 00:31:30,353
-(yells)
-Man: I'm sorry.
827
00:31:30,436 --> 00:31:32,061
-Larry: Oh, fuck!
-Man: I'm sorry. I am sorry.
828
00:31:32,144 --> 00:31:34,353
-Aah! Aah.
-I'm so, so sorry.
829
00:31:34,436 --> 00:31:35,853
Larry:
Weren't you looking
where you're going?
830
00:31:35,937 --> 00:31:38,186
Man:
You just came out of nowhere.
You all right?
831
00:31:38,269 --> 00:31:41,395
-No. No, I'm not.
-I apologize.
832
00:31:41,478 --> 00:31:43,478
Oh, okay.
Is that your phone?
833
00:31:43,561 --> 00:31:45,687
I see what happened.
You were on your cell phone,
834
00:31:45,770 --> 00:31:48,228
and somebody yelled, "Next,"
and you panicked, right?
835
00:31:48,311 --> 00:31:50,478
Yes. I had "next panic," okay?
836
00:31:50,561 --> 00:31:53,311
Ow. Jeez. Aah.
837
00:31:53,395 --> 00:31:56,186
(scoffs)
I may never walk
normal again.
838
00:31:56,269 --> 00:31:57,812
You know, nothing personal.
839
00:32:02,687 --> 00:32:04,478
Are you Larry David?
840
00:32:05,144 --> 00:32:06,520
What? Yeah?
841
00:32:06,603 --> 00:32:09,061
Mr. David,
does look familiar?
842
00:32:09,144 --> 00:32:11,395
What? It's a screener.
843
00:32:11,478 --> 00:32:13,395
These screeners are
digitally marked with your name,
844
00:32:13,478 --> 00:32:15,728
and there are copies of these
appearing all over town.
845
00:32:15,812 --> 00:32:17,520
Impossible!
Impossible.
846
00:32:17,603 --> 00:32:19,353
I, I didn't give them
to, to anyone!
847
00:32:19,436 --> 00:32:20,770
-We got some questions
for you, sir.
-What?
848
00:32:20,853 --> 00:32:22,186
Questions? What kind of--
849
00:32:22,269 --> 00:32:23,269
This is ridiculous!
850
00:32:23,353 --> 00:32:24,937
Hey, my goodness.
What are you doing?
851
00:32:25,019 --> 00:32:28,478
You know, you're treating me
like a war criminal,
for God's sake.
852
00:32:30,353 --> 00:32:31,311
That's him.
853
00:32:31,395 --> 00:32:33,103
He did it.
He took my screeners.
854
00:32:33,186 --> 00:32:34,436
-Took 'em from my house.
-This guy.
855
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:35,603
Yeah, this guy.
856
00:32:35,687 --> 00:32:36,978
I had too much licorice
from Bavaria,
857
00:32:37,061 --> 00:32:38,269
and it gave me diarrhea,
858
00:32:38,353 --> 00:32:39,561
and when I was in the bathroom,
859
00:32:39,645 --> 00:32:40,478
he took the screeners!
860
00:32:40,561 --> 00:32:42,687
Licorice? Bavaria?
861
00:32:42,770 --> 00:32:44,478
I really hope you get
the help you need.
862
00:32:44,561 --> 00:32:47,144
-That's the guy who--
He was in my house!
-In the car.
863
00:32:47,228 --> 00:32:48,937
Thanks, guys.
I really appreciate
what you do.
864
00:32:49,019 --> 00:32:50,103
Bye, Larry.
865
00:32:50,186 --> 00:32:52,186
Stop sending people over
to shit in my store!
866
00:32:52,269 --> 00:32:54,269
(siren blares)
867
00:32:54,353 --> 00:32:56,478
Richard:
That's insanity.
For a screener?
868
00:32:56,561 --> 00:32:58,019
They can't fine you that much.
869
00:32:58,103 --> 00:32:59,269
Larry:
Well, they did.
870
00:32:59,353 --> 00:33:00,895
The FBI, they can do
whatever they want.
871
00:33:01,019 --> 00:33:02,895
What are you gonna do?
I'm, I'm lucky I'm not in jail.
872
00:33:02,978 --> 00:33:04,311
-(knocking)
-Ten minutes.
Ten minutes.
873
00:33:04,395 --> 00:33:05,978
All right, thanks.
874
00:33:06,061 --> 00:33:07,978
-Have a good show, Richard,
See you out there.
-You, too, buddy.
875
00:33:08,061 --> 00:33:09,978
Break a leg.
How does my makeup look?
876
00:33:10,061 --> 00:33:12,311
What's, uh,
what's happening
with the hair?
877
00:33:12,395 --> 00:33:13,645
It's Charlie's hair.
878
00:33:13,728 --> 00:33:15,478
Charlie looks like
he spends a lot of time
879
00:33:15,561 --> 00:33:16,978
at off-track betting.
880
00:33:17,061 --> 00:33:19,853
Well, that's reassuring
five minutes before I go on.
881
00:33:19,937 --> 00:33:21,728
How dare you.
You're like a rabbi
882
00:33:21,812 --> 00:33:23,645
heckling me at my bar mitzvah.
883
00:33:23,728 --> 00:33:25,103
What is this?
884
00:33:25,186 --> 00:33:26,645
-This? That tin?
-Larry: Yeah.
885
00:33:26,728 --> 00:33:28,144
It's licorice.
Susie gave it to me.
886
00:33:28,228 --> 00:33:31,186
-Oh. Did she?
-Richard: It's delicious.
887
00:33:31,269 --> 00:33:33,687
-You ate this whole thing?
-Yeah, in about five hours.
888
00:33:33,770 --> 00:33:35,520
I'd give you one,
but I'm a little anxious,
889
00:33:35,603 --> 00:33:36,645
so I ate all of 'em today.
890
00:33:36,728 --> 00:33:38,311
I think I'm
a licorice addict now.
891
00:33:38,395 --> 00:33:39,561
Oh, my gosh.
892
00:33:39,645 --> 00:33:40,853
Why? What's wrong?
893
00:33:41,895 --> 00:33:43,144
Nah. Nothing.
894
00:33:43,228 --> 00:33:44,228
(pops lips)
895
00:33:44,311 --> 00:33:46,228
-Richard:
Well, thanks for coming.
-Yeah.
896
00:33:46,311 --> 00:33:48,061
Okay. Yeah. Break a leg.
897
00:33:48,144 --> 00:33:51,103
Hey, don't be depressed.
If you want some, you know,
it's German licorice.
898
00:33:51,186 --> 00:33:53,978
-It's the best. All right.
-Yeah, I know where it's from.
899
00:33:54,395 --> 00:33:56,853
It's showtime, Charlie.
900
00:33:56,937 --> 00:33:58,019
(stopwatch ticks, stops)
901
00:33:58,103 --> 00:33:59,436
Algernon beat you.
902
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:00,853
You lost, Charlie.
903
00:34:00,937 --> 00:34:03,687
Does that mean that
I won't get the operation?
904
00:34:03,770 --> 00:34:05,186
'Cause I lost?
905
00:34:05,269 --> 00:34:07,144
I can do better than that.
906
00:34:07,228 --> 00:34:10,228
I want that operation.
I, I wanna be s-s-s...
907
00:34:10,311 --> 00:34:11,603
smart.
908
00:34:11,687 --> 00:34:14,186
We'll have to see what
Professor Nemur says,
Charlie.
909
00:34:14,269 --> 00:34:16,812
I'm not afraid of the operation.
910
00:34:16,895 --> 00:34:20,061
-(stomach gurgling)
-(groans): Aah. Whoa.
911
00:34:20,144 --> 00:34:21,395
Oh!
912
00:34:21,478 --> 00:34:23,853
-I, I ain't afraid of nothing.
-(stomach gurgling)
913
00:34:23,978 --> 00:34:26,436
Because I'm strong.
914
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,520
-(stomach gurgling)
-Charlie?
915
00:34:30,603 --> 00:34:32,019
-(gurgling continues)
-Oh.
916
00:34:32,103 --> 00:34:34,019
Did you want to say something
about being right?
917
00:34:34,103 --> 00:34:35,978
-Charlie...
-(groans)
918
00:34:36,436 --> 00:34:37,770
-Whoa.
-Richard...
919
00:34:37,853 --> 00:34:39,061
Aah!
920
00:34:39,144 --> 00:34:42,311
(yelling and groaning)
921
00:34:44,353 --> 00:34:47,520
(theme music playing)
922
00:35:56,061 --> 00:35:57,853
So, you're operating this place
just out of spite?
923
00:35:58,144 --> 00:35:59,144
Yeah.
924
00:35:59,228 --> 00:36:00,395
It's a spite store.
925
00:36:00,478 --> 00:36:01,478
♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
926
00:36:02,061 --> 00:36:03,645
Everybody in the Big Johnson
community knows
you can't wear underwear.
927
00:36:03,728 --> 00:36:04,687
LARRY DAVID:
There's a Big Johnson community?
928
00:36:04,770 --> 00:36:06,645
I'd like to...
see if I can join.
929
00:36:06,728 --> 00:36:08,978
How are you getting in
the Big Johnson community
930
00:36:09,061 --> 00:36:10,436
-without a big johnson?
-You can't.
931
00:36:10,728 --> 00:36:12,144
-SUSIE GREENE: Hey!
-Hi!
932
00:36:12,228 --> 00:36:14,645
How do you induce labor?
Can you scare someone
into labor?
933
00:36:14,728 --> 00:36:16,603
Yeah, you go into the bushes,
she's walking down the street,
934
00:36:16,687 --> 00:36:17,895
and all of a sudden,
you jump out. (YELLS) Ha!
935
00:36:18,103 --> 00:36:20,228
-Are... you in the bushes?
-Yeah.
936
00:36:20,311 --> 00:36:23,561
-You need surgery.
-What if I got a...
second opinion?
937
00:36:23,645 --> 00:36:24,895
-Why?
-My late mother.
938
00:36:25,103 --> 00:36:27,478
"Larry, what are you doing?
Get a second opinion!
939
00:36:27,561 --> 00:36:28,770
Are ya stupid?"
940
00:36:28,853 --> 00:36:30,645
Even though she's dead,
I need to shut her up.
941
00:36:30,895 --> 00:36:33,228
♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES, FADES) ♪
71356
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