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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:09,000 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:17,167 Larry: Auntie rae, auntie rae? 3 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:20,633 - you need something? - I want you to come with me. I want to show you something. 4 00:00:20,667 --> 00:00:22,133 Oh, all right then. What is it? 5 00:00:22,167 --> 00:00:24,267 Eh, don't worry. Just come with me. 6 00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:27,567 You know, You said how much You love gardening, 7 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,733 And how you wish you Could garden here, 8 00:00:29,767 --> 00:00:33,133 So I cleared this Little area for you. 9 00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,533 - and... There you go. - larry. 10 00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:36,300 You did this for me? 11 00:00:36,333 --> 00:00:38,633 - I did it for you! - oh, larry! 12 00:00:38,667 --> 00:00:40,567 - huh? - oh-ho! Larry! 13 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,133 Grow some lettuce, auntie rae. Grow some lettuce! 14 00:00:43,167 --> 00:00:46,067 You don't know how much I appreciate this. 15 00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:48,633 You've been so good To us, larry, 16 00:00:48,667 --> 00:00:51,467 My family. I really appreciate it. 17 00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:53,467 I really Appreciate it, larry! 18 00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:55,833 Thank you, larry. I-- 19 00:00:58,567 --> 00:01:02,133 Larry, You're disgusting. 20 00:01:02,167 --> 00:01:03,733 Ah! 21 00:01:03,767 --> 00:01:06,067 Agh! Auntie rae! 22 00:01:07,633 --> 00:01:09,467 ( sighs ) 23 00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:12,467 Larry: She called me disgusting. ( laughs ) 24 00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:14,500 Oh my god. 25 00:01:15,933 --> 00:01:19,100 - what were you thinking? - and she ran into the house. 26 00:01:19,133 --> 00:01:21,067 - oh my god. - how does that happen to you? 27 00:01:21,067 --> 00:01:24,067 You know, she went Over the appropriate Amount of time 28 00:01:24,067 --> 00:01:27,067 That I can have Human contact Without getting aroused. 29 00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:29,100 I only have five seconds. 30 00:01:29,133 --> 00:01:31,167 After that, it's out Of my control. 31 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,433 Not me. I've got Discipline down there. I have a very discerning penis. 32 00:01:34,467 --> 00:01:35,800 - no... - very discerning. 33 00:01:35,833 --> 00:01:38,067 - my penis is an animal. - really, just out of control? 34 00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:40,367 - it's a feral tiger, yeah. - it's wild. 35 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,933 Oh, so how'd your-- How'd the appointment go? With the doctor? 36 00:01:42,967 --> 00:01:44,633 Great. 37 00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:47,400 He's gonna snip-snip, And... 38 00:01:47,433 --> 00:01:49,700 I will no longer Be snoring. 39 00:01:49,733 --> 00:01:51,800 - really? - going in on Thursday morning. 40 00:01:51,833 --> 00:01:53,633 - fantastic. - unbelievable! 41 00:01:53,667 --> 00:01:56,233 - fantastic. - my dog howls 42 00:01:56,267 --> 00:01:58,400 From my snoring. I wake up my dog. 43 00:01:58,433 --> 00:02:00,900 My dog starts howling. I'm out of control. 44 00:02:00,933 --> 00:02:02,700 - this'll be good. - this'll be great. 45 00:02:02,733 --> 00:02:04,233 - it's about time. - it is about time. 46 00:02:04,267 --> 00:02:05,933 - yeah. - it's about time. 47 00:02:05,967 --> 00:02:09,533 Hey, guess what else? I think ben stiller's gonna Come with me as a client. 48 00:02:09,567 --> 00:02:11,367 - are you kidding? - no! 49 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,400 - have you met with him? - no, I'm meeting with him This week. 50 00:02:14,433 --> 00:02:17,967 - if you could sign him... - I think it's a slam-dunk. Done deal. 51 00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:19,800 It's gonna bring you in So much income. 52 00:02:19,833 --> 00:02:21,133 - huge income, I know. - my god. 53 00:02:21,167 --> 00:02:22,933 - that's amazing. - hello. 54 00:02:22,967 --> 00:02:24,533 - hi. - I know you Couldn't decide 55 00:02:24,567 --> 00:02:27,067 Between the slaw and the soup, So I brought you both. 56 00:02:27,067 --> 00:02:29,333 Wow, thank you So very much. 57 00:02:29,367 --> 00:02:31,900 And here's your sandwich. Can I get you something To drink? 58 00:02:31,933 --> 00:02:33,833 You know what I'd love? I'd love an arnold palmer. 59 00:02:33,867 --> 00:02:36,167 - okay, I'll be right back. - thank you. 60 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,067 Excuse me? Can I give you A drink order? 61 00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:41,567 - sure. - I'll just have An iced tea. 62 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:44,567 - an iced tea. Okay. Arnold palmer... Of course. - thanks again. 63 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:47,633 Thank you. Man, she's nice. 64 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:50,467 Yeah. Nice to people With hair, she's nice. 65 00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:53,533 - what are you talking about? - what am I talking about? 66 00:02:53,567 --> 00:02:56,467 - yeah. - bald people get discriminated Against constantly. 67 00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:58,433 And you just saw A perfect example of it. 68 00:02:58,467 --> 00:03:00,333 Oh, it's because You're bald. 69 00:03:00,367 --> 00:03:02,567 Yeah, ask any bald person. Ask, go ahead. 70 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,433 You still have issues With being bald. 71 00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:07,767 You know, if I were bald-- If I woke up tomorrow And I found myself bald, 72 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,733 I'd be so cool with it. It'd be no big deal. It's all natural. 73 00:03:10,767 --> 00:03:13,067 - yeah, right, That's what everybody says. - whatever. 74 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,167 Hey, they have A pharmacy here, right? 75 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,367 - yeah. - I gotta get A prescription filled. 76 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,100 I'm gonna go now, Drop it off, 77 00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:21,133 Then I'll pick it up When I'm done. 78 00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:22,933 Beautiful. 79 00:03:34,567 --> 00:03:36,800 - hi. - oh, hi there. 80 00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:40,167 Ah, let's take A look here. 81 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:41,567 Can I get that in The next half hour? 82 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,100 Sure. Yeah, We can do that. 83 00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:44,700 Great, thank you. 84 00:03:47,233 --> 00:03:49,100 - larry: that's odd. - jeff: what? 85 00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:51,400 I could have sworn When I left, 86 00:03:51,433 --> 00:03:54,267 I had about twice As many french fries 87 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:56,767 - as there are now. - hm. 88 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,700 - you wouldn't know anything About this, would you? - no idea. 89 00:03:59,733 --> 00:04:01,067 - huh? - no idea. 90 00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,900 - no idea? - no. 91 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,267 - no idea? - I told you I had no idea! What's the big deal? 92 00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:14,467 - just eat. - maybe somebody could shed Some light on this for us. 93 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:17,367 Excuse me. Hi, I'm sorry to bother you. 94 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:21,067 - it's all right. - I'm wondering if you Noticed anything unusual 95 00:04:21,067 --> 00:04:23,400 Going on at this table After I left? 96 00:04:23,433 --> 00:04:26,633 Well, I-- I really couldn't say. I don't want 97 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,467 To impinge On a friendship. 98 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:31,067 Impinge away. Go ahead and impinge. 99 00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:33,400 I took one. Shoot me. 100 00:04:33,433 --> 00:04:36,067 One. Two of them might have Been stuck together. 101 00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,933 Mm-mm-mm. Thank you. 102 00:04:37,967 --> 00:04:40,433 - are you a doctor? - yes, dr. Flomm. 103 00:04:40,467 --> 00:04:42,933 - I'm an orthopedist. - really? An orthopedist? 104 00:04:42,967 --> 00:04:44,367 - mm-hm. - hi, my name's larry. 105 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,867 Hi, larry. I'm-- I'm sheila. 106 00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:49,867 Nice to meet you. So you work in the building? 107 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,200 Leon: God damn, larry. What the fuck, man? 108 00:04:54,233 --> 00:04:56,467 You hug my auntie, man, You stab her In the stomach? 109 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:58,367 - oh well... - what the fuck was that? 110 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,067 She hugged me And she held that hug For over five seconds. 111 00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:03,300 - what the fuck? - I have no control After five seconds. 112 00:05:03,333 --> 00:05:05,233 - so you got A five-second rule? - not a rule, 113 00:05:05,267 --> 00:05:08,600 It's an approximate amount Of time that it's gonna take For something to happen. 114 00:05:08,633 --> 00:05:10,800 What the fuck, I mean, what the fuck? Loretta. 115 00:05:10,833 --> 00:05:12,167 - oh, I'm sorry. - l.D.? 116 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,133 - what? - you have lost your Damn mind. 117 00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:15,733 - no, I... - auntie rae? 118 00:05:15,767 --> 00:05:18,333 I can't control it. I have no control. It's not my fault. 119 00:05:18,367 --> 00:05:20,133 Just like that, You got turned on? 120 00:05:20,167 --> 00:05:22,333 Not just like that. That's a long time, Five seconds. 121 00:05:22,367 --> 00:05:25,233 He got a five-second rule. One, two, three, four, five-- Boing, it come out. 122 00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:28,333 - where's your "Mississippi"? You gotta put mississippi in. - both: mississippi? 123 00:05:28,367 --> 00:05:30,833 That's how you count-- "One-mississippi, Two-mississippi, 124 00:05:30,867 --> 00:05:33,467 Three-mississippi, Four-mississippi, Five-mississippi." 125 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,100 - that's way too long. - way too long. 126 00:05:35,133 --> 00:05:37,200 - you're stretching it out for-- - I'm not stretching it out. 127 00:05:37,233 --> 00:05:39,333 - I shortened it. - I'm just sayin', It's been a long time 128 00:05:39,367 --> 00:05:41,367 - since my uncle Passed away, man. - that's right. 129 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,567 You all over her. You stab her in the fuckin' Stomach, man. 130 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,367 Believe me, it's not Gonna happen again. 131 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,667 You better make sure It don't happen again, Because we can go. 132 00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,267 - we can go, man. - we can go. We can Go anywhere. 133 00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:52,100 - where you gonna go? - anywhere. Get out Of here, I know that. 134 00:05:52,133 --> 00:05:54,067 - leon: we got places to go. - you know, it's just 135 00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:56,067 I'm so starved for affection, I guess that 136 00:05:56,067 --> 00:05:58,867 - any kind of contact... - talk to your man. 137 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:02,367 - you got one more chance, l.D. - I just met a doctor, actually. 138 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,467 I'm gonna go call her For a date right now. 139 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:06,800 - she's very attractive. - handle your business. 140 00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:09,267 - but no-- no more Hugging, don't worry. - oh please, please don't. 141 00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:11,367 Call that goddamn doctor, Get a diagnosis, 142 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,800 And-and-and-- and go Stab somebody else, man. 143 00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:17,067 Dr. Flomm: And what happens when you-- When you turn your palm? 144 00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:19,167 - yeah, it hurts. - worse, okay. 145 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,267 - ( phone rings ) - just a moment, please. 146 00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:24,067 - hello, dr. Flomm. - oh, dr. Flomm. 147 00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:27,200 - this is larry david calling. - oh hi, larry. How are you? 148 00:06:27,233 --> 00:06:30,133 - good, I met you Earlier in the cafeteria. - yes yes, I remember. 149 00:06:30,167 --> 00:06:33,733 - would you like To make an appointment? - uh, no, actually. 150 00:06:33,767 --> 00:06:36,167 I'm calling for, Um, a date. 151 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,200 Oh I see. Well, I'm with A patient right now. 152 00:06:38,233 --> 00:06:39,867 Oh jeez, I'm so sorry. 153 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,633 Okay, is-- is tonight Good for you? 154 00:06:42,667 --> 00:06:45,300 Actually I'm all Booked up tonight, but I Am available tomorrow 155 00:06:45,333 --> 00:06:47,200 Between 5:00 and 6:00 Or anytime after 8:30. 156 00:06:47,233 --> 00:06:49,300 - okay, I'll take the 8:30. - terrific. 157 00:06:49,333 --> 00:06:51,433 Speak to my receptionist To get the pertinent details. 158 00:06:51,467 --> 00:06:53,867 - I'll call your receptionist. - if you need to cancel 159 00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:55,800 Or in case of any emergency, Just page me. 160 00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,167 Okay. Okay, will do. 161 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,433 Good, and I recommend Being five minutes early. 162 00:06:59,467 --> 00:07:00,767 Okay, I'll see you Tomorrow. 163 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,267 All right, larry,thank you. 164 00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:04,500 - okay. - ( clicks ) 165 00:07:10,467 --> 00:07:12,133 Hi. 166 00:07:12,167 --> 00:07:14,167 Is... Sheila here? 167 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,400 Yeah, come on in. I'm her sister. 168 00:07:16,433 --> 00:07:18,133 - oh, hi. - you must be larry. 169 00:07:18,167 --> 00:07:20,067 - yeah. - just come on in, Have a seat. 170 00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:22,067 - make yourself at home. - oh, thanks. 171 00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:24,967 - she'll be right down. - ( soft jazz playing ) 172 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,533 You have nothing To worry about. It'll be fine. 173 00:07:48,567 --> 00:07:50,300 - thanks, sheila. - oh hi, larry. 174 00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:52,300 - hi hi. - this is my brother joe. 175 00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:54,067 - larry david. - hi, joe. 176 00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:56,300 - nice to meet you. - I suppose you met trish, My sister. 177 00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:57,567 Yes, yeah. 178 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,400 - wow. - huh? 179 00:07:59,433 --> 00:08:01,933 - you look great. - it took me about Two hours to get ready. 180 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,733 Your brother and sister, They're staying with you? 181 00:08:05,767 --> 00:08:08,867 Yeah, they're gonna be With me just a couple months. 182 00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:11,133 - so... - you know, I've got people In my house too. 183 00:08:11,167 --> 00:08:12,733 - you're kidding. - no. 184 00:08:12,767 --> 00:08:15,267 You know, it's great And then sometimes It's not so great. 185 00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:17,167 Well, I took in A homeless family... 186 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,567 - you what? - ...From-- from-- From the hurricane. 187 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,700 - you're kidding. - no. 188 00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:22,833 Anyway, their-- Their name is "Black." 189 00:08:22,867 --> 00:08:25,100 - uh-huh. - and-- and they're Actually black. 190 00:08:25,133 --> 00:08:27,767 - well, that makes it easy. - exactly, yeah. 191 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,100 Yeah. 192 00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,067 - can I move on? - absolutely. 193 00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:33,233 Huh? All right, I got a groin issue. 194 00:08:33,267 --> 00:08:35,067 - oh, okay. - I-- I pulled it. 195 00:08:35,067 --> 00:08:37,067 Did you ice it right away? 196 00:08:37,067 --> 00:08:38,967 - no. - okay, so put a little Bit of heat 197 00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:40,667 - on the groin... - heat on the groin. 198 00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:43,133 - ...And then I'd massage it. - you want me to massage it? 199 00:08:43,167 --> 00:08:44,633 - oh absolutely. - really? 200 00:08:44,667 --> 00:08:46,500 You never want To massage with muscle, 201 00:08:46,533 --> 00:08:49,067 - you always want To massage laterally. - lateral, okay. 202 00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:52,300 For instance, This is your groin. Just-- you just massage across. 203 00:08:52,333 --> 00:08:55,100 Watch out for my testicles Right over there. 204 00:08:55,133 --> 00:08:57,233 ( dr. Flomm laughing ) 205 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,767 Larry? 206 00:09:04,533 --> 00:09:07,433 Why don't we move this To my bedroom? 207 00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:10,167 Sure. 208 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,667 Go upstairs, Take off your clothes, 209 00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:15,133 And I'll be in to see You in a few minutes. 210 00:09:17,833 --> 00:09:19,367 Okay. 211 00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:27,767 ( exhales ) 212 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:31,067 ( light jazz playing ) 213 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,567 Larry? 214 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,100 - hey. - hi. 215 00:09:47,133 --> 00:09:49,100 Uh, listen, I-- I am so sorry. 216 00:09:49,133 --> 00:09:50,900 I-- I hate To tell you this, 217 00:09:50,933 --> 00:09:52,933 But my brother And sister just Came back. 218 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:54,933 - they weren't supposed To be here. - oh. 219 00:09:54,967 --> 00:09:57,700 And my brother got Food poisoning, so they Came back early, 220 00:09:57,733 --> 00:10:00,100 And I-- I'm really sorry. 221 00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:02,233 - well, what are you gonna do? - so... 222 00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:04,467 - it happens. - ...We need to reschedule. 223 00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:07,267 Why don't you get dressed And I'll meet you In the foyer? 224 00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:18,367 I'm telling you, jeffrey, 225 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,500 There's nothing Like dating a doctor. 226 00:10:20,533 --> 00:10:24,033 We talked for 45 minutes About my groin injury. 227 00:10:24,067 --> 00:10:27,133 No no, she just Wants me to massage it. 228 00:10:27,167 --> 00:10:29,300 It's killing me too. 229 00:10:29,333 --> 00:10:31,700 Um, so listen-- 230 00:10:31,733 --> 00:10:34,800 I'm gonna see you later. I'm gonna stop by before Your operation. 231 00:10:34,833 --> 00:10:36,600 Okay, man. 232 00:10:36,633 --> 00:10:38,667 Okay, take care. 233 00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,467 ( groans ) 234 00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,367 ( gasps ) 235 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,233 ( screams ) 236 00:10:53,267 --> 00:10:55,833 Oh! Auntie rae! 237 00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,867 - larry: you know what? - what? 238 00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:02,500 - last night, I know We talked about this. - yeah? 239 00:11:02,533 --> 00:11:04,700 - this thing, you know. - oh, that thing. 240 00:11:04,733 --> 00:11:07,633 - and believe me, I respect Your medical judgment. - mm-hm? 241 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,700 - I think it's cancer. - ( laughs ) it's not cancer. 242 00:11:10,733 --> 00:11:13,100 Huh? I've never Had cancer before But I'm imagining 243 00:11:13,133 --> 00:11:14,967 - this is how it feels like. - how would you know? 244 00:11:15,067 --> 00:11:16,733 No no, it's not. 245 00:11:16,767 --> 00:11:18,800 ( clears throat ) I'm gonna... 246 00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:20,633 Head to the men's room. 247 00:11:20,667 --> 00:11:22,533 I-- okay, that's fine. 248 00:11:22,567 --> 00:11:24,967 I just... I'm a little Shy about this, 249 00:11:25,067 --> 00:11:27,800 And I just have-- I just wrote you A little something. 250 00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:30,100 - I think it might Make you feel better. - moi? 251 00:11:30,133 --> 00:11:33,200 - yeah. - ah. A note. 252 00:11:33,233 --> 00:11:35,133 - oh my god. - you're embarrassing me. 253 00:11:35,167 --> 00:11:37,133 Just-- just go To the bathroom. 254 00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:52,067 - oh, excuse me? - yeah? 255 00:11:52,067 --> 00:11:53,600 - can you do me a favor? - sure. 256 00:11:53,633 --> 00:11:56,333 A doctor wrote me this note. I can't make out A word of it. 257 00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:58,900 You know the way they write. They have terrible penmanship. 258 00:11:58,933 --> 00:12:00,633 - look at this. - "Libby..." 259 00:12:00,667 --> 00:12:02,167 No no, larry. That's me. 260 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,867 Something... 261 00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:07,967 - something "Socks." - "Socks"? 262 00:12:08,067 --> 00:12:09,967 That's an "S"? I thought that was a "T". 263 00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:12,167 - tox? - truck? 264 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,700 Truck. Do you have a truck? 265 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:17,433 - no, I don't have a truck. - it's gotta be truck-- oh. 266 00:12:17,467 --> 00:12:19,533 - all right, whatever, okay. - I'm sorry. 267 00:12:19,567 --> 00:12:21,067 - all right, thank you. - yeah. 268 00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:23,167 Thank you. This... 269 00:12:26,667 --> 00:12:29,300 - ( water running ) - man: yeah, I'm at The hospital. 270 00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:31,200 Yeah, I fucked My wrist or something. 271 00:12:31,233 --> 00:12:33,067 Yeah, I was movinga futon. 272 00:12:33,067 --> 00:12:37,067 And I had to take The top because of This 300-lb nigger. 273 00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:40,900 Yeah, exactly. I'm at the fuckin' top, And halfway through, 274 00:12:40,933 --> 00:12:42,767 This nigger Drops his side. 275 00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:47,100 So nowmy wrist is fucked. 276 00:12:49,067 --> 00:12:50,833 Oh my god. 277 00:12:52,433 --> 00:12:55,600 You can't believe What I just overheard In the bathroom. 278 00:12:55,633 --> 00:12:57,933 What an unbelievable jerk. 279 00:12:57,967 --> 00:13:01,900 This guy is On his cell phone, He's talking to his friend. 280 00:13:01,933 --> 00:13:04,367 And he's upset And he's complaining, 281 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:07,500 You know, he had To move some furniture. And he says to his friend, 282 00:13:07,533 --> 00:13:10,267 "I hurt my hand because I had to take the top 283 00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:13,067 Because of this 300-lb nigger who was--" 284 00:13:13,067 --> 00:13:15,467 What did you say? What did you just say? 285 00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:17,800 - oh... - what did you just fix Your mouth to say? 286 00:13:17,833 --> 00:13:19,700 - no no-- - you just used The most vile word 287 00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:21,567 In the english language. How dare you? 288 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,367 - no, I was-- - how dare-- in front of me? 289 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:26,200 You are despicable. I can't stand people Like you. 290 00:13:26,233 --> 00:13:28,233 - I didn't-- - you bald son of a bitch. 291 00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:30,800 I have to face this kind Of wretched foolishness. 292 00:13:30,833 --> 00:13:33,600 This is ridiculous. I just want to-- god! I can't stand people like-- 293 00:13:33,633 --> 00:13:36,233 Bald? 294 00:13:36,267 --> 00:13:38,400 ( machine beeping ) 295 00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:44,700 I wonder what's Keeping dr. Page? 296 00:13:44,733 --> 00:13:46,833 Why hasn't this patient Been prepped? 297 00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:48,300 He is prepped, sir. 298 00:13:48,333 --> 00:13:51,167 Excuse me, nurse. 299 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,333 - clippers! - sir, clippers Are not req-- 300 00:13:53,367 --> 00:13:55,500 Do I have to do Everything myself? 301 00:13:55,533 --> 00:13:57,800 I know what I'm doing here. Clippers, please. 302 00:13:57,833 --> 00:13:59,667 Thank you. 303 00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:01,100 ( buzzing ) 304 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:08,200 Jeff: Oh my god! No no! 305 00:14:08,233 --> 00:14:09,967 - what? - oh my god! 306 00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:11,800 Look at me! 307 00:14:11,833 --> 00:14:14,067 What the hell Happened to you? 308 00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:17,167 - what happened? - what happened, nurse? 309 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,300 Dr. Page accidentally shaved Mr. Greene's head-- 310 00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:20,900 - shaved my head? - wait a minute. 311 00:14:20,933 --> 00:14:22,667 - accidentally? - did he operate on my head? 312 00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:24,267 No, the procedure Was canceled. 313 00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:26,900 The operation is going To be rescheduled. 314 00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:29,067 - so he didn't Have the surgery? - no. 315 00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:31,067 Oh, you look horrible. Jeff! 316 00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:33,533 - nurse, would you Please excuse us? - doctor, what happened? 317 00:14:33,567 --> 00:14:36,067 - what the hell happened? Look at him! - what happened? 318 00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:37,700 Mr. And mrs. Greene, I am so sorry. 319 00:14:37,733 --> 00:14:40,067 I was coming to see you In the operating room 320 00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:43,633 And I had just been Victimized by a terrible Incident in the cafeteria. 321 00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:45,400 And so I came To the operating room 322 00:14:45,433 --> 00:14:47,833 And I was so angered And I was upset And I was confused, 323 00:14:47,867 --> 00:14:49,500 And I mistakenly Shaved your head, 324 00:14:49,533 --> 00:14:51,833 - for which I'm so sorry. - "Mistake" is correct. 325 00:14:51,867 --> 00:14:54,367 - you took it Out on his head? - it was a terrible mistake. 326 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:57,533 I can explain-- I'm leaving the cafeteria, And I'm walking past a table, 327 00:14:57,567 --> 00:15:00,267 And this horrible man Uses the most vile word 328 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,933 In the english language To refer to a black person. 329 00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:04,667 And I went Into a blind rage. 330 00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:07,200 And I left there and I went To the operating room, 331 00:15:07,233 --> 00:15:10,333 And I made This terrible mistake, For which I'm so sorry. 332 00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:11,733 Do you know who This man was? 333 00:15:11,767 --> 00:15:13,400 I have no idea Who he was. 334 00:15:13,433 --> 00:15:16,067 He was just A despicable bald man. 335 00:15:16,067 --> 00:15:17,767 - bald? - ye 336 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,467 Did he, by any chance, 337 00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:22,067 Wear glasses? 338 00:15:22,067 --> 00:15:24,233 Yes. 339 00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:26,500 As a matter of fact, He was wearing glasses. 340 00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:31,233 And it was awful. It was just absolutely Awful. 341 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,667 "S..." 342 00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:38,300 "Sitter"? "Sitting"? 343 00:15:40,067 --> 00:15:42,067 ( rapping on door ) 344 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:44,667 ( sighs ) 345 00:15:47,333 --> 00:15:49,067 Look at him! 346 00:15:49,067 --> 00:15:50,867 - look at him! - what the fuck? 347 00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,767 - I'm bald! - you like this look? 348 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,067 - he had a beautiful Full head of hair... - I'm bald! 349 00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:57,300 ...A mane that I loved And now he looks like you! 350 00:15:57,333 --> 00:15:59,167 - look at me! - what happened? 351 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,367 - how did that happen? - you did it! 352 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:02,900 - I did it? - you did it! Yes! 353 00:16:02,933 --> 00:16:05,700 - what are you talking about? - you traumatized the doctor! 354 00:16:05,733 --> 00:16:09,967 He described you. He said, "Bald, glasses." You said some racial slur 355 00:16:10,067 --> 00:16:11,933 And you traumatizedthe doctor. 356 00:16:11,967 --> 00:16:13,767 - and he came in All flummoxed... - what did you do? 357 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,967 ...And shaved His fucking head! 358 00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:17,600 There's nothing wrong With being bald! 359 00:16:17,633 --> 00:16:19,667 - sure there is! - yes, there is, larry! 360 00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:22,067 - look at you! - you said you wouldn't Care if you were bald! 361 00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:23,700 Yeah, in 40 years! Not fucking today! 362 00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,733 Because he knew it was Never gonna happen! 363 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,933 - not overnight! - yours is gonna grow back. Mine isn't! 364 00:16:27,967 --> 00:16:29,667 That's right. You know what? Curse on you! 365 00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:32,067 Mine's gonna Grow back. Yours isn't! You deserve it! 366 00:16:32,067 --> 00:16:33,900 Susie: What did you say To that doctor? 367 00:16:33,933 --> 00:16:36,167 Here's what happened, okay? Here's what happened. 368 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:39,367 I was in the cafeteria. I was having lunch With dr. Flomm. 369 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,633 Okay? What-- You know, it was pretty... 370 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,433 By the way, can you Interpret this-- this note? 371 00:16:44,467 --> 00:16:46,500 Oh, nobody gives a shit About your note! 372 00:16:46,533 --> 00:16:47,900 - what are you doing? - huh? 373 00:16:47,933 --> 00:16:50,233 Okay, so I went To the men's room. 374 00:16:50,267 --> 00:16:52,633 I'm in the stall. There's this guy, 375 00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:54,167 An unbelievable Asshole. 376 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,267 He's talking On his cell phone To his friend. 377 00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:58,933 He's very upset Because they had to Move some furniture. 378 00:16:58,967 --> 00:17:00,800 He says to his friend, "I hurt my hand 379 00:17:00,833 --> 00:17:03,367 - because this 300-lb nigger is--" - what'd you say? 380 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,400 - what? - what did you just say? 381 00:17:05,433 --> 00:17:08,167 - oh no no, I-- - did I just hear the word Nigger come out your mouth? 382 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,233 - no, but I was-- - did you say nigger? 383 00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:12,133 - leon! Leon! - what? 384 00:17:12,167 --> 00:17:14,767 - oh no no, don't-- - leon, get your ass out here. 385 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,433 Larry Just said nigger. 386 00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:18,933 - get thfuck out of here! - larry just said nigger! 387 00:17:18,967 --> 00:17:21,067 - how you gonna say Nigger, man? - no no! 388 00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:22,667 Is that how you Feel about us? 389 00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:24,900 That we a bunch Of niggers up in here? 390 00:17:24,933 --> 00:17:27,933 - I was quoting somebody. - let's get out of here! I wanna go! 391 00:17:27,967 --> 00:17:30,600 What is all this Fussing and cussing Going on up in here? 392 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,300 Larry d. Done Called us nigger. 393 00:17:32,333 --> 00:17:33,633 - nigger? - both: nigger! 394 00:17:33,667 --> 00:17:36,167 - no, let me explain! - you lost your damn mind now! 395 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:39,800 First, you're gonna be rubbing All up against me, then whacking Off in the damn car! 396 00:17:39,833 --> 00:17:41,400 - now you call us-- - I was massaging! 397 00:17:41,433 --> 00:17:43,433 I'll come down there To whip your poor ass! 398 00:17:43,467 --> 00:17:46,267 - you done fucked up, larry! - I'll tell you one damn thing-- 399 00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:48,200 We ain't gonnaput up with that. 400 00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,733 - l.D., I told you You had one last chance. - auntie rae: one. 401 00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:53,100 - this the last straw. We out this bitch. - that's it. 402 00:17:53,133 --> 00:17:54,400 - we out this bitch! - out. 403 00:17:54,433 --> 00:17:56,233 - where you gonna go? - we don't know. 404 00:17:56,267 --> 00:17:58,500 - but we gonna get The hell out of here. - you could stay with us. 405 00:17:58,533 --> 00:18:00,600 - thank you, baby. - that's what I'm talking about. 406 00:18:00,633 --> 00:18:01,867 - we appreciate that. - thank you! 407 00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:04,567 Fuck you, larry, Wit' your monkey ass! 408 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,400 Auntie rae: Daryl! Keysha! 409 00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:08,333 - we gettin' The hell outta here. - you're damn straight. 410 00:18:08,367 --> 00:18:09,967 - get the hell outta here. - where the kids at? 411 00:18:10,067 --> 00:18:12,367 Like how you do what you do. It's a sexy ass, susie. 412 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,600 Fuck you, larry! 413 00:18:14,633 --> 00:18:16,533 Peace! 414 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,333 Well, look, I-- I think that 415 00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:25,633 You're limiting yourself By just doing comedies. 416 00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:27,533 - right. - you can do it In your sleep. 417 00:18:27,567 --> 00:18:29,067 Let's show people more. 418 00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,233 Why can't you win An academy award? 419 00:18:31,267 --> 00:18:33,800 The studios, they'll do Anything you want to do. 420 00:18:33,833 --> 00:18:36,433 We just gotta push 'em In the right direction, man. 421 00:18:36,467 --> 00:18:38,367 - yeah. - that's it. 422 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,833 - I didn't just fall Off the melon truck. - melon truck? 423 00:18:40,867 --> 00:18:43,867 You sign with me, I will fight that fight To get you those roles, 424 00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:45,933 To develop those Projects with you. 425 00:18:45,967 --> 00:18:48,767 That's what I do. You know, you need To be doing things 426 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,100 ( voice fades ) That are more independent, Smaller in scale... 427 00:18:52,133 --> 00:18:55,433 As well as the big-scale stuff. That's gonna fall in your lap. 428 00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,567 I'll do the work. You won't notice Anything different 429 00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,533 Except for the fact that You're collecting awards. 430 00:18:59,567 --> 00:19:01,400 ( normal voice )okay? 431 00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,167 What? 432 00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:10,367 Stiller said no. 433 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,633 - what? - doesn't want To work with me. 434 00:19:12,667 --> 00:19:15,967 - are you kidding? - doesn't feel it's right. 435 00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:17,767 - he called you? - yeah. 436 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,500 Said "It doesn't Feel right." 437 00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,700 - "Doesn't feel right"? - doesn't feel right. 438 00:19:21,733 --> 00:19:24,067 - yeah? - yeah. 439 00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:26,867 You know what doesn't Feel right about it? 440 00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:29,300 - you're bald. - you think that's The reason why? 441 00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:30,867 - yeah. - I'm not sure. 442 00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:33,133 Doesn't want a bald man To be representing him! 443 00:19:33,167 --> 00:19:35,533 Hey! You know what? I know exactly what I want. 444 00:19:35,567 --> 00:19:37,567 - I'm gonna get-- - I'm a little busy today. 445 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,533 I'll come back In a little bit. 446 00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:43,200 - okay? - that's weird. 447 00:19:43,233 --> 00:19:44,833 - weird? - yeah. 448 00:19:44,867 --> 00:19:46,833 That's the way It works, my friend. 449 00:19:46,867 --> 00:19:48,267 Welcome to my world. 450 00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:49,900 - this sucks. - you know what? 451 00:19:49,933 --> 00:19:52,800 - this fucking sucks. - that cost you millions Of dollars today. 452 00:19:52,833 --> 00:19:54,300 - what happened. - millions of dollars. 453 00:19:54,333 --> 00:19:56,967 - millions of dollars. - the hospital wants To meet with me. 454 00:19:57,067 --> 00:19:59,667 They want to talk and-- And go over my bill. 455 00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:02,500 "Go over my bill." I'm gonna sue these Motherfuckers. 456 00:20:02,533 --> 00:20:04,800 - that's it! That's fucking it! - right, good for you. 457 00:20:04,833 --> 00:20:06,933 This blows. How do you deal with it? 458 00:20:06,967 --> 00:20:10,633 You just get used to it. And I get support From my bald brothers. 459 00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:12,833 - there's, like, meetings? - there's no meetings, 460 00:20:12,867 --> 00:20:15,067 But we see each other On the street, we nod. 461 00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:17,900 - we'll give a thumbs up. - yeah. 462 00:20:17,933 --> 00:20:20,967 You know what? We love each other, Me and my bald brothers. 463 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,933 Still obsessed With that note, huh? 464 00:20:22,967 --> 00:20:25,700 I-- I've asked 10 people. 465 00:20:25,733 --> 00:20:28,100 Excuse me, could you Do me a favor? 466 00:20:28,133 --> 00:20:31,100 I can't read this. Could you make out Any of that handwriting? 467 00:20:31,133 --> 00:20:32,400 - this from a doctor? - yeah. 468 00:20:32,433 --> 00:20:34,367 Take it To a pharmacist. 469 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,833 - what a great idea. - yeah. 470 00:20:38,867 --> 00:20:41,067 They're the only Ones who can make out A doctor's handwriting. 471 00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:42,567 Yeah, go! 472 00:20:45,133 --> 00:20:47,033 - oh, hi. - hi. 473 00:20:47,067 --> 00:20:49,767 Rry david. I dropped off a prescription The other day. 474 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,467 - ah yes yes, here we go. - yeah. 475 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,333 Actually, I want To talk to you about Something else too. 476 00:20:54,367 --> 00:20:56,467 I'm going out With a doctor, 477 00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:58,500 And she wrote me This note, 478 00:20:58,533 --> 00:21:00,767 - and I cannot... - and you can't read it. 479 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,800 I can't read it! It's unbelievable. 480 00:21:02,833 --> 00:21:04,800 - nobody can! - yes. 481 00:21:04,833 --> 00:21:06,600 So somebody suggested A pharmacist, 482 00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:08,533 'cause nobody can Decipher this thing. 483 00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,333 Let me-- Let me take a shot. 484 00:21:10,367 --> 00:21:12,367 You're my only hope. 485 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:16,067 "Larry, had a great time Last night. 486 00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:19,800 Would love to get Together friday night 487 00:21:19,833 --> 00:21:22,333 - at the bel-air Regency hotel..." - what? 488 00:21:22,367 --> 00:21:24,567 "...Just the two of us." 489 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,533 - ( sighs ) - "So tired of all these 490 00:21:27,567 --> 00:21:29,833 Brothers and sisters Around. 491 00:21:29,867 --> 00:21:33,067 I know you feel The same way. 492 00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:35,633 Tell me your life Wouldn't be better 493 00:21:35,667 --> 00:21:38,467 Without the blacks." 494 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:40,067 Huh? 495 00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:44,067 Oh, okay, uh... No no no no no. 496 00:21:44,067 --> 00:21:46,333 Pharmacist: it's your business. 497 00:21:46,367 --> 00:21:48,500 - you're misinterpreting it. - here's your prescription. 498 00:21:48,533 --> 00:21:50,767 - no, see I've got-- - take your prescription. 499 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,133 - thank you. - I've got people In my house. 500 00:21:53,167 --> 00:21:55,500 There's... 501 00:21:55,533 --> 00:21:58,200 They're black but Their name is black! 502 00:21:58,233 --> 00:22:00,833 She's got... 503 00:22:00,867 --> 00:22:03,433 Her brothers And sisters. 504 00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:17,600 ( soft piano playing ) 505 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,067 Dr. Flomm: It's open. Come on in. 506 00:22:29,467 --> 00:22:33,067 Hi. You have got The worst handwriting... 507 00:22:33,100 --> 00:22:34,800 - ( laughs ) - are you out of your mind? 508 00:22:34,833 --> 00:22:37,067 - no? You couldn't read it? - you expect anybody to-- 509 00:22:37,067 --> 00:22:39,167 - couldn't read it? I gave it to 10,000-- - oh! 510 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,633 - a pharmacist, A pharmacist wound up... - I'm so sorry. 511 00:22:41,667 --> 00:22:44,367 - ...Translating that for me. - oh, I'm sorry. 512 00:22:49,433 --> 00:22:50,633 Mm. 513 00:23:11,933 --> 00:23:13,967 Larry: Thanks for driving me home. 514 00:23:14,067 --> 00:23:15,467 Really, I-- I couldn't drive. 515 00:23:15,500 --> 00:23:17,200 I just don't-- I don't feel like-- 516 00:23:17,233 --> 00:23:19,767 I feel nauseous And like I'm drugged Or something. 517 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,267 And as far as What happened earlier, 518 00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:25,267 I'm mean, You know, usually like, Five-mississippi. 519 00:23:25,300 --> 00:23:27,733 Honest to god, Five-mississippi-- ( claps ) 520 00:23:28,767 --> 00:23:30,633 That's all I need. 521 00:23:30,667 --> 00:23:32,967 Why don't you just go? 522 00:23:38,867 --> 00:23:41,133 Well... Good night. 523 00:24:04,133 --> 00:24:06,467 Ugh! 524 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,800 ( orchestra playing ) 525 00:25:06,067 --> 00:25:07,867 ( sighs ) 526 00:25:09,367 --> 00:25:11,967 ( jeff snoring ) 527 00:25:15,100 --> 00:25:17,133 Leon: Ahhh! 528 00:25:17,167 --> 00:25:20,167 Somebody go in there And put a sock in that Motherfucker's mouth! 529 00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:21,967 ( knocks at door ) 530 00:25:22,067 --> 00:25:23,867 ( moaning ) 531 00:25:23,900 --> 00:25:25,800 ( knocks ) 532 00:25:25,833 --> 00:25:27,800 One second! 533 00:25:29,533 --> 00:25:31,500 ( door-knocker rapping ) 534 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:37,133 Hey, l.D. 535 00:25:37,167 --> 00:25:39,200 - what's going on? - come on in, it's cold. 536 00:25:39,233 --> 00:25:41,533 - you're back? - yeah. Couldn't sleep. 537 00:25:41,567 --> 00:25:43,733 Jeff's snore? Man, I'm telling you, That was awful. 538 00:25:43,767 --> 00:25:45,867 Worse than The damn hurricane. 539 00:25:45,900 --> 00:25:48,900 - I know, it's terrible. - kids need to sleep here. Y'all go on up to bed. 540 00:25:48,933 --> 00:25:50,433 - good night, larry. - good night. 541 00:25:50,467 --> 00:25:52,267 - good night, mom. - good night, y'all. 542 00:25:52,300 --> 00:25:56,067 Talk to your boy, man. Shit, that motherfucker Swallowed a kazoo. 543 00:25:56,067 --> 00:25:59,233 - ridiculous. All fucking night! - yeah. 544 00:26:00,967 --> 00:26:03,067 Come on! 545 00:26:03,067 --> 00:26:05,067 It's safe. It's safe. 546 00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:07,433 One-mississippi, Two-mississippi, 547 00:26:07,467 --> 00:26:10,067 Three-mississippi... 548 00:26:10,100 --> 00:26:12,367 Jeff: My own daughter locks Herself in her room, 549 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,833 Won't come out Whenever I'm home. 550 00:26:14,867 --> 00:26:17,900 My wife-- One of the most warm, Loving people 551 00:26:17,933 --> 00:26:19,067 You could ever meet-- 552 00:26:19,067 --> 00:26:21,500 Has turned into a witch. 553 00:26:21,533 --> 00:26:24,467 A witch! 'cause I'm bald. It's changed everything. 554 00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:27,100 Ben stiller Won't work with me 555 00:26:27,133 --> 00:26:30,467 Because I'm bald! I mean, come on. 556 00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:33,200 Do you know how many millions I'm losing because of that? 557 00:26:33,233 --> 00:26:34,900 Millions I'm losing! 558 00:26:34,933 --> 00:26:37,467 All right, I don't know What else to say. Thank you. 559 00:26:37,500 --> 00:26:40,067 All right, mr. Greene. I understand now we're Going to hear 560 00:26:40,100 --> 00:26:42,367 From mr. Larry david, 561 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,867 Who will testify On mr. Greene's behalf. Mr. David? 562 00:26:45,900 --> 00:26:48,133 - thank you for being here. - you're welcome. 563 00:26:48,167 --> 00:26:50,467 Mr. David, as you know, We are looking into 564 00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:52,867 Allegations Of physician misconduct 565 00:26:52,900 --> 00:26:55,100 Stemming From the incident 566 00:26:55,133 --> 00:26:56,967 On the 17th Of this month. 567 00:26:57,067 --> 00:26:59,500 Would you please tell The board what happened? 568 00:26:59,533 --> 00:27:02,367 I was having lunch In the cafeteria, 569 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,567 And I excused myself To go to the bathroom. 570 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:09,333 You know, it's-- It's a thing we all do. 571 00:27:09,367 --> 00:27:11,333 It's not a crime, right? 572 00:27:11,367 --> 00:27:14,167 - don't have To be embarrassed. - no need for embarrassment. 573 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:15,533 Go ahead. 574 00:27:15,567 --> 00:27:17,233 Anyway, I went Into the stall. 575 00:27:17,267 --> 00:27:20,400 Generally, when I-- When I use a public toilet, 576 00:27:20,433 --> 00:27:23,067 I'll-- I'll go into the stall As opposed to the urinals. 577 00:27:23,100 --> 00:27:25,667 I find there's, you know, There's no privacy. 578 00:27:25,700 --> 00:27:28,533 And if there's no dividers, It's kind of like going In a trough. 579 00:27:28,567 --> 00:27:30,467 All right, all right. Go ahead, please. 580 00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:32,667 Anyway, so I went Into the stall-- 581 00:27:32,700 --> 00:27:35,367 I guess it's kind Of a habit now 582 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,500 For me to go Into the stall, in a way. 583 00:27:37,533 --> 00:27:39,767 Um, if it's open, If it's available, 584 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:41,600 I'll-- I'll generally Take the stall. 585 00:27:41,633 --> 00:27:44,833 Of course, what you Find in there is-- you know, Is anybody's guess. 586 00:27:44,867 --> 00:27:47,233 Anyway, So I'm in the stall, 587 00:27:47,267 --> 00:27:51,733 And I overhear this guy Talking on his cell phone. 588 00:27:51,767 --> 00:27:55,067 And he's talking To a friend of his, and He's getting very upset 589 00:27:55,067 --> 00:27:57,067 'cause he had to move Some furniture 590 00:27:57,067 --> 00:27:59,367 And he hurt his hand. And he-- and he's saying, 591 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,167 - "And then I hurt my hand 'cause this 300-lb--" - ( door closes ) 592 00:28:03,900 --> 00:28:05,700 Sorry I'm late. 593 00:28:05,733 --> 00:28:07,567 ( man clears throat ) 594 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,400 Please continue, Mr. David. 595 00:28:10,433 --> 00:28:12,933 Go ahead, sir. 596 00:28:12,967 --> 00:28:14,533 Please continue. 597 00:28:16,867 --> 00:28:18,967 Mr. David,is there a problem? 598 00:28:19,067 --> 00:28:23,067 Please, Tell us what the man On the cell phone said. 599 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,067 Mr. David, tell us What the man said! 600 00:28:29,067 --> 00:28:31,700 - just say it! - you are wasting this Committee's time. 601 00:28:31,733 --> 00:28:34,367 - larry, tell 'em. - please tell us what The man said. 602 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,267 - say it! - tell 'em! Will you tell them? 603 00:28:36,300 --> 00:28:38,067 - just say it! - larry, just tell 'em! 604 00:28:38,100 --> 00:28:39,900 - tell us what the man said! - tell them, please? 605 00:28:39,933 --> 00:28:42,200 - just do it, larry! - tell us now, mr. David! 606 00:28:42,233 --> 00:28:44,900 - just say it! - larry, tell 'em! 607 00:28:44,933 --> 00:28:54,967 ( theme music playing ) 608 00:28:54,967 --> 00:29:05,067 ( theme music playing ) 47911

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