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1
00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:23,633
Hb
( theme music playing )
2
00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:31,100
Morning!
3
00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:34,067
( birds twittering )
4
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:37,733
- need some help?
- be great. That'd be great.
5
00:00:37,833 --> 00:00:39,800
Okay.
6
00:00:44,933 --> 00:00:47,500
Hey, I'll do it.
Don't worry about it.
Relax.
7
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:48,867
- I got it.
- mac: nice, thank you.
8
00:00:48,967 --> 00:00:51,333
- what is this, grape juice?
- yes, grape juice.
9
00:00:51,433 --> 00:00:54,200
- you guys drink grape juice?
- sure we do, it's a great
Antioxidant.
10
00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:57,167
- come on over and have some.
- you never see people drinking
Grape juice.
11
00:00:57,267 --> 00:01:00,533
- it's delicious, you'd love it.
- I think it's a very
Underrated juice.
12
00:01:00,633 --> 00:01:03,067
- it is!
- I wonder why more
People don't buy it.
13
00:01:03,167 --> 00:01:05,467
Ethel:
Larry. Larry.
14
00:01:05,567 --> 00:01:09,133
Did you know that
A sex offender moved
Into the neighborhood?
15
00:01:09,233 --> 00:01:12,100
- yeah, I saw his
Picture on a flyer.
- I know, it's terrible!
16
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,200
Yeah, he's
A bald guy, too.
17
00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:16,267
- a bald guy.
- yeah, a bald guy.
18
00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:19,600
- it's very bad for
The bald community.
- oh, larry.
19
00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:22,733
What's very bad for
The community is that
He's a sex offender.
20
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:26,267
I know, as long as he's gonna
Be a sex offender I wish he
Had a full head of hair.
21
00:01:26,367 --> 00:01:28,300
- oh, larry!
- let me ask
You a question.
22
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:32,033
Have you-- have you guys
Been getting your newspaper?
23
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:33,667
Yeah, yeah.
24
00:01:33,767 --> 00:01:35,400
- you have?
- yes.
25
00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:37,867
Hmm. I haven't gotten
My paper in six days.
26
00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:39,433
I did see somebody
27
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:42,867
Walk up your
Walkway there,
28
00:01:42,967 --> 00:01:44,233
- pick up your newspaper--
- what?!
29
00:01:44,333 --> 00:01:46,733
But I figured maybe it
Was somebody that you knew
30
00:01:46,833 --> 00:01:48,267
Because he had on a suit.
31
00:01:48,367 --> 00:01:50,733
A guy in a suit
Is taking my paper?
32
00:01:50,833 --> 00:01:53,033
That's why she thought it
Might your friend of yours.
33
00:01:53,133 --> 00:01:55,767
Jesus!
That's crazy!
34
00:01:55,867 --> 00:01:59,100
- ethel: well, you know.
- guy in a suit is taking
My newspaper?
35
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,967
A suit's a good cover if
A guy's gonna steal a paper.
36
00:02:02,067 --> 00:02:04,333
If you saw him again,
Would know him?
37
00:02:04,433 --> 00:02:06,500
Yeah yeah, I'm pretty
Sure I'd know him.
38
00:02:11,900 --> 00:02:14,300
A guy in a suit?
Huh?
39
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,167
- makes no sense.
- stealing papers?
40
00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:20,033
- makes no sense.
- I know.
41
00:02:20,133 --> 00:02:21,767
I don't get it.
42
00:02:21,867 --> 00:02:23,967
I don't get it at all.
43
00:02:24,067 --> 00:02:25,867
What's a motivation there?
44
00:02:25,967 --> 00:02:28,567
Guy in a suit's gotta
Be able to afford a paper.
45
00:02:28,667 --> 00:02:31,200
Yeah. Hey, you coming
To passover seder?
46
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:34,333
- cheryl's doing a seder, huh?
- yeah, for my father.
47
00:02:34,433 --> 00:02:36,067
Does she know
What she's doing?
48
00:02:36,167 --> 00:02:38,367
- I don't know, she'll find out.
- a little problem.
49
00:02:38,467 --> 00:02:40,333
Susie's sister's in town,
50
00:02:40,433 --> 00:02:44,000
Which means my
Brother-in-law's in
Town which means that
51
00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:45,900
Their kid's in town and
52
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,967
My brother-in-law
Is a little...
53
00:02:49,067 --> 00:02:52,300
- he's a conservative?
- he's a conservative.
54
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,467
- your brother-in-law's
A conservative?
- big time.
55
00:02:54,567 --> 00:02:57,367
- big time conservative
- do you want to bring
Him to the seder?
56
00:02:57,467 --> 00:02:58,867
- yeah.
- fine, I don't care.
57
00:02:58,967 --> 00:03:01,433
- I'll talk to you later.
- all right, very good.
58
00:03:01,533 --> 00:03:04,433
- thanks for lunch!
- sure.
59
00:03:17,633 --> 00:03:19,567
Man:
These machines
Are really finicky.
60
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:23,467
Yeah, let me give
You a hand with that.
61
00:03:23,567 --> 00:03:25,333
No nno no.
62
00:03:25,433 --> 00:03:27,733
- no, let me help you out.
- no, I don't even care--
You know what?
63
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,967
No, let me get this.
I know how to do it.
I've got the touch.
64
00:03:30,067 --> 00:03:31,900
- I don't even need to read it.
- watch watch watch watch.
65
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,000
( coin jangling )
66
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:36,400
I just know how to do it.
I know this machine.
67
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:38,467
Go ahead.
68
00:03:39,867 --> 00:03:41,800
You want one?
69
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:45,667
Yeah, but I'll close it
Again and pay for it,
Because, you know.
70
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:48,200
- it's just...
- oh. Okay.
71
00:03:48,300 --> 00:03:50,567
( coin jangling )
72
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,233
- okay, well...
- yeah.
73
00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:57,900
- thanks a lot.
- hey, I'm sorry, you're--
74
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,067
You're larry david, right?
75
00:04:00,167 --> 00:04:03,700
- yeah.
- yeah, I'm sorry
To bother you like this.
76
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:05,433
I never, ever do this.
77
00:04:05,533 --> 00:04:08,333
But, you know, I'm sort
Of new to the neighborhood.
78
00:04:08,433 --> 00:04:10,767
And I'm a huge
"Seinfeld" fan.
79
00:04:10,867 --> 00:04:12,633
- no kidding?
- yeah, the biggest.
80
00:04:12,733 --> 00:04:14,700
- seriously? Get out of here.
- yeah yeah yeah, seriously.
81
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:18,300
No, I'm, probably the biggest
"Seinfeld" fan ever.
82
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:20,767
- what a great show.
I miss it. I miss it!
- ah, go on.
83
00:04:20,867 --> 00:04:22,767
"Puffy shirt" is
My favorite episode.
84
00:04:22,867 --> 00:04:25,933
You know what?
I love that show.
85
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,833
- really?
- that's one of my
Favorite episodes.
86
00:04:27,933 --> 00:04:29,933
Yeah, it's great.
It's great.
87
00:04:30,033 --> 00:04:32,367
How did you guys come up
With the low talker?
88
00:04:32,467 --> 00:04:36,600
Well, I mean it was
Pretty easy to come
Up with.
89
00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:38,167
I was out to dinner
With one.
90
00:04:38,267 --> 00:04:40,367
And then you write
It and you put it
On the tv.
91
00:04:40,467 --> 00:04:43,333
- yeah, yeah.
- I'm not an artist,
You know?
92
00:04:43,433 --> 00:04:45,633
So it's interesting
To see how an artist
Like yourself works.
93
00:04:45,733 --> 00:04:47,800
Well, that's very nice
Of you. Thank you.
94
00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:51,000
- it's incredible.
It's really an honor.
- thank you so much.
95
00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:54,033
I'm rick leftowitz.
Great to meet you.
96
00:04:54,133 --> 00:04:56,333
- nice to meet you.
- yeah.
97
00:04:56,433 --> 00:04:58,767
- welcome
To the neighborhood.
- thank you.
98
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:11,367
Oh, boy,
Look at the jew girl.
99
00:05:11,467 --> 00:05:14,233
- I am so jewish
Right now.
- holy cow!
100
00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:15,800
Where did you learn
How to do this?
101
00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:18,100
Well, susie's been
Coaching me through
It all.
102
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,767
- she has?
- yeah.
103
00:05:19,867 --> 00:05:22,400
- do you even know what
This thing is called?
- this is a, uh...
104
00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:25,033
Haroset.
105
00:05:25,133 --> 00:05:28,633
- very good.
- it's a lot like
Ambrosia, except--
106
00:05:28,733 --> 00:05:31,600
I wish my mother were
Alive to hear you say
That word out loud.
107
00:05:31,700 --> 00:05:34,733
Yeah, I wish my mother
Could hear me say--
My mother would flip
108
00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:36,800
- if she knew
I was doing this.
- looks good.
109
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:39,933
Thank you.
I mean, I'm trying.
110
00:05:40,033 --> 00:05:44,267
It seems like a lot
Of trouble you people
Go through for this.
111
00:05:44,367 --> 00:05:47,600
- you know what I mean?
- "You people?" I don't know
If I like that so much.
112
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,733
- you jews, is that better?
- that's better, yeah.
113
00:05:49,833 --> 00:05:53,967
Okay, I feel like
I've been cutting apples
For, like, two hours.
114
00:05:55,367 --> 00:05:58,267
Okay, hey,
You know what?
115
00:05:58,367 --> 00:06:00,700
Marla and mark
Got back together.
116
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,933
- really?
- yeah.
117
00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:06,600
Good for them.
Good for them!
118
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,833
I thought you'd be
Happy to hear that.
119
00:06:08,933 --> 00:06:11,100
That's nice. That's nice.
When did this happen?
120
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:14,500
About a week ago,
And he moved back in
With her.
121
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:15,933
- really?
- yeah.
122
00:06:16,033 --> 00:06:18,433
- wow.
- and they're coming
Tomorrow.
123
00:06:18,533 --> 00:06:20,400
- oh, you know
Who else is coming?
- who?
124
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:22,233
Jeff asked me
If he could bring
His in-laws.
125
00:06:22,333 --> 00:06:23,867
I know.
I talked to susie.
126
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:27,400
Jeez, you know what
I just realized?
127
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:30,233
I never followed through
On my christmas present
To mark.
128
00:06:30,333 --> 00:06:33,767
Remember I got
Him a subscription
To the "Times"?
129
00:06:33,867 --> 00:06:35,667
- "The new york times."
- yeah.
130
00:06:35,767 --> 00:06:38,567
And then he and marla
Broke up.
131
00:06:38,667 --> 00:06:41,133
I don't know.
I kinda forgot
About it.
132
00:06:41,233 --> 00:06:43,267
So you just didn't
Give him his gift?
133
00:06:43,367 --> 00:06:44,967
Yeah.
134
00:06:45,067 --> 00:06:48,400
- because heroke up
With his girlfriend?
- yeah.
135
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:51,433
I don't see
The point to it.
136
00:06:51,533 --> 00:06:54,000
No, you just thought
You wouldn't have to
Worry about it
137
00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:57,233
- and you wouldn't see
Him again, so who cares?
- oh my god.
138
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,400
What?
139
00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:04,500
I'll bet you mark--
140
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,067
I'll bet you mark
Is the guy who's
Taking the paper.
141
00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:11,000
No, think about
It, seriously.
Think about it.
142
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:15,667
I can't believe it.
Mark is stealing
The paper.
143
00:07:15,767 --> 00:07:18,200
Holy shit!
Don't you see?
144
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:21,500
How long have we
Not been getting it,
Six days?
145
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:25,133
He moved back in
With her a week ago.
You just said that, right?
146
00:07:25,233 --> 00:07:28,833
Who else would be
Doing it? It's him.
147
00:07:28,933 --> 00:07:31,833
- mark is not stealing
Our newspaper.
- no?
148
00:07:31,933 --> 00:07:34,033
- that is the most
Ridiculous--
- I don't think so.
149
00:07:34,133 --> 00:07:36,633
Oh, I think so.
Larry, he's a doctor.
150
00:07:36,733 --> 00:07:39,700
I think he could afford
The paper if he wants
To get a paper.
151
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,933
Yeah, but not if he's
Upset with somebody
152
00:07:42,033 --> 00:07:45,000
Who promised him a gift
For christmas and never
Followed through on it.
153
00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:48,300
- that is so ridiculous.
- it's not ridiculous.
It makes perfect sense.
154
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,367
You know,
Because I spoke to...
155
00:07:50,467 --> 00:07:54,467
Hey, you know what
We should do?
156
00:07:54,567 --> 00:07:56,367
What?
157
00:07:56,467 --> 00:08:00,767
We should invite
Mac and ethel.
158
00:08:00,867 --> 00:08:02,933
We should invite them
For seder, don't you think?
159
00:08:06,433 --> 00:08:08,800
You want to invite
Ethel and mac?
160
00:08:11,233 --> 00:08:14,400
I had no idea
You liked mac
And ethel so much.
161
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:17,567
You don't understand
Because you're not
Jewish, okay?
162
00:08:17,667 --> 00:08:21,100
But it's a jewish thing.
It's sort of like
A tradition, you know?
163
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,133
Invite the cranky
Neighbors who...
164
00:08:23,233 --> 00:08:25,433
Well, if jews don't have
Any place to go for seder,
165
00:08:25,533 --> 00:08:27,533
You're supposed
To invite them.
166
00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:31,033
Come on. Come on.
Invite 'em.
167
00:08:38,033 --> 00:08:40,167
Hey, larry.
168
00:08:40,267 --> 00:08:43,733
- hey. Rick, yeah.
- hey, rick.
169
00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:46,033
Hey, let me
Give you a hand here.
170
00:08:46,133 --> 00:08:48,300
- okay. Oh, thank you.
- yeah. How are ya?
171
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,667
Pretty good.
Pretty good.
172
00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:53,900
I should have taken
One of those carts,
You know, but...
173
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,367
- yeah, I know.
- look, it's downhill.
I'm worried it'll hit a car
174
00:08:57,467 --> 00:09:00,100
And I'll get in
A lawsuit or something.
Who the hell knows?
175
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,067
Hey, what do you
Got there?
176
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:05,100
Oh, my four iron.
177
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,233
- yeah.
- yeah.
178
00:09:07,333 --> 00:09:09,667
You play golf?
179
00:09:09,767 --> 00:09:12,033
Yeah, and I eat
And I breathe.
180
00:09:12,133 --> 00:09:15,533
- ( laughs )
- in that order.
181
00:09:15,633 --> 00:09:17,900
- yeah, me, too.
Absolutely, yeah.
- really?
182
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,300
Wow, wow.
183
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:23,000
Anyway, I replaced
The four iron with
A nine wood.
184
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,633
I can't hit it anymore.
185
00:09:24,733 --> 00:09:28,267
Well, you know what?
I would love to help you.
186
00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:32,233
Oh, come on.
Nobody could help me.
People have tried before.
187
00:09:32,333 --> 00:09:34,700
It can't be done.
Can't be done, rick.
188
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,167
I've been golfing
For a long time.
I'm fairly good.
189
00:09:37,267 --> 00:09:39,967
Yeah, in my backyard,
190
00:09:40,067 --> 00:09:43,767
I have this setup
That you won't believe.
I've got a net, a tee.
191
00:09:43,867 --> 00:09:47,300
- get the hell out of here!
Really, a camera?
- and I've got a camera
192
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,567
And you shoot yourself
Swinging and then analyze
Your swing frame-by-frame.
193
00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:53,933
- what are you doing now?
All right, let's go.
- nothing.
194
00:09:54,033 --> 00:09:56,000
Right now?
Okay, where's your car?
195
00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:57,533
I don't have one.
196
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:04,833
- okay, I'll take you.
- okay.
197
00:10:04,933 --> 00:10:07,167
You want some cheetos
For the trip, huh?
198
00:10:07,267 --> 00:10:09,933
Yeah, why not?
Great.
199
00:10:10,033 --> 00:10:13,767
All right,
It's gonna be fun.
I love golf.
200
00:10:18,567 --> 00:10:22,433
Ha ha ha. Huh?
Oh my god. Did you
See the whole thing?
201
00:10:22,533 --> 00:10:25,167
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
202
00:10:25,267 --> 00:10:28,833
Come here. Come here.
Look at this. Watch it
In slow motion, okay?
203
00:10:28,933 --> 00:10:30,333
Look at that.
204
00:10:30,433 --> 00:10:32,633
See, you're bringing
Your hips through.
205
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,467
It doesn't even look--
Who is that?
206
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:37,100
- is that me?
It doesn't look like me.
- it's you.
207
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,100
Look, look, I wanna
Freeze it right here.
Wait, right there.
208
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:43,733
- look at your hips right here.
- yeah, no, I see. Perfect.
209
00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:45,833
I can't believe it.
210
00:10:45,933 --> 00:10:48,800
A plus. My best
Student of the day.
211
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:51,467
Good work. Okay.
212
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:54,700
- all right. Great.
- unreal.
213
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,933
Listen, anytime,
Anytime.
214
00:10:57,033 --> 00:10:58,733
I'm completely spent.
215
00:10:58,833 --> 00:11:01,233
- it's my pleasure.
- fantastic.
216
00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:03,200
That was great.
That was just great.
217
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:06,233
- yeah, yeah.
- could not have
Been better.
218
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,067
What are you doing
For passover?
219
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:11,533
Just having
Some people over.
220
00:11:11,633 --> 00:11:13,367
- oh, really?
- yeah, what are you doing?
221
00:11:13,467 --> 00:11:17,300
Nothing, nothing.
Totally free.
222
00:11:28,133 --> 00:11:30,300
You want to come
To my house?
223
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,133
No, really? Oh!
224
00:11:33,233 --> 00:11:35,633
- all right.
- okay, okay.
225
00:11:35,733 --> 00:11:38,033
- great, great.
- you don't have to.
226
00:11:38,133 --> 00:11:40,400
No, that sounds great.
I got nothing else to do.
227
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:43,333
- you sure?
- yeah, of course,
Thank you.
228
00:11:43,433 --> 00:11:45,000
Yeah, I'll bring latkes.
229
00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:49,533
- okay.
- great, great.
230
00:11:49,633 --> 00:11:51,567
I'll see you then.
I'm gonna hit a few.
231
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,400
Uh...
232
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:01,833
Cheryl:
What took you so long?
Where were you?
233
00:12:01,933 --> 00:12:03,467
Well, I met sort of
A new friend.
234
00:12:03,567 --> 00:12:05,867
He's kind of new
In town.
235
00:12:05,967 --> 00:12:08,300
And we got to talking.
236
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,833
Golf nut, okay?
Took me to his backyard.
237
00:12:11,933 --> 00:12:15,100
He's got a net.
What a setup this guy--
My life is changed.
238
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,400
Today, changed,
Irrevocably.
239
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:22,233
And you just started
Talking to a stranger?
240
00:12:22,333 --> 00:12:26,600
Yeah, kind of, well,
You know, he knew me
From "Seinfeld."
241
00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:28,967
You know, he's...
242
00:12:29,067 --> 00:12:31,633
- fan?
- yeah, kind of.
243
00:12:31,733 --> 00:12:33,767
And gonna be alone
On passover,
244
00:12:33,867 --> 00:12:37,433
And I kind of invited
Him to the seder.
245
00:12:37,533 --> 00:12:39,567
I hope you don't mind.
246
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:42,567
- you did?
- yeah, I'm sorry.
247
00:12:42,667 --> 00:12:44,900
- no, that's okay.
- really?
248
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,933
- well, if he's alone.
- aren't you a doll?
249
00:12:48,033 --> 00:12:50,433
Well, that's cute.
I'm glad you made
A new friend.
250
00:12:50,533 --> 00:12:51,900
- yeah, okay, yeah.
- that's nice.
251
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,233
I don't hear that
Very often from you.
252
00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:56,933
Oh, and I forgot
To mention
253
00:12:57,033 --> 00:12:59,100
It's that sex offender.
254
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,167
What?
255
00:13:01,267 --> 00:13:04,433
You know, we saw that
Picture on the flyer
256
00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:06,767
Of that sex offender guy.
That's him.
257
00:13:06,867 --> 00:13:11,300
- he's cool.
- you invited a sex offender
Over for seder?
258
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,367
Are you out
Of your mind?
259
00:13:13,467 --> 00:13:16,767
- it was an awkward moment.
- what is wrong with you, larry?
260
00:13:16,867 --> 00:13:18,600
You don't do something
Like that without
Asking me!
261
00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:21,367
You do not invite
A sex offender over
For dinner
262
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,067
Without talking
To me first!
263
00:13:23,167 --> 00:13:25,600
We're not having
A sex offender over
For dinner, no!
264
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:29,833
- call him and say no.
- cheryl, what would
Jesus do?
265
00:13:29,933 --> 00:13:31,433
- oh.
- huh?
266
00:13:31,533 --> 00:13:33,433
- cheryl, cheryl.
- no, no!
267
00:13:33,533 --> 00:13:37,133
Cheryl, he's a jew.
He's a jew!
268
00:13:51,833 --> 00:13:54,833
This is a fact.
This is like numbers,
Okay?
269
00:13:54,933 --> 00:13:57,533
Have you heard
Of the theory,
The 77?
270
00:13:57,633 --> 00:14:01,800
- no.
- okay, every 77 years
There's a great president.
271
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:05,100
Washington and then
You go 77 years, lincoln.
272
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,533
77 years there's--
What's that guy's name?
273
00:14:08,633 --> 00:14:10,767
- theodore roosevelt?
- f.D.R.
274
00:14:10,867 --> 00:14:13,000
And then another
77 years, you got w.
275
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:16,400
- really?
- I think we're in
Historic times.
276
00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:18,633
- washington,
Lincoln, f.D.R.
- and w.
277
00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:21,100
- and george w. Bush.
- that's right.
278
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,600
And we're turning
The whole damn world
Around.
279
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:26,500
- jake, did you remember
To call your mother?
- what?
280
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,733
Did you remember
To call your mother?
281
00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:31,900
Jake: I told my mother
I would call her
After the seder.
282
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,567
- you said "Before."
- after the seder.
283
00:14:33,667 --> 00:14:35,767
- hey.
- hey, larry.
284
00:14:35,867 --> 00:14:38,967
- how's it going, mark?
How's the doctor?
- doing well, doing well.
285
00:14:39,067 --> 00:14:42,700
- doing well, busy.
Real busy.
- oh, yeah.
286
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,900
You know, things are booming
Right now, you know?
287
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,000
Nice to see you
And marla back together.
288
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:49,767
She's great.
She's great.
289
00:14:49,867 --> 00:14:51,200
Yeah, what happened?
290
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:54,000
You couldn't cut it in
Your single life there?
291
00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:56,600
Couldn't get any dates,
So you went back?
292
00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:59,767
At's funny.
Part of the perk
Of being a doctor.
293
00:14:59,867 --> 00:15:01,100
It's not hard
To get dates.
294
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,167
Get to see a lot
Of women naked?
295
00:15:03,267 --> 00:15:06,200
- cosmetic surgeon.
Seen my fair share.
- really?
296
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:07,667
You ever get aroused?
297
00:15:07,767 --> 00:15:09,733
I don't think that's
Really an appropriate
Question.
298
00:15:09,833 --> 00:15:12,433
- really, why not?
- well, you know,
It's just...
299
00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:14,367
It's sort of
A personal thing.
300
00:15:14,467 --> 00:15:16,733
I don't want to discuss
Something like that.
301
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,800
The answer of course is no.
I'm a professional.
302
00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:20,533
People come to me for help.
I help them.
303
00:15:20,633 --> 00:15:25,100
I understand. Tell me
If you think this is an
Appropriate question.
304
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:28,633
And I mean
No disrespect.
305
00:15:28,733 --> 00:15:31,033
Have you been stealing
My newspaper?
306
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,400
Larry...
307
00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:37,567
Yes, that is
An inappropriate question.
308
00:15:37,667 --> 00:15:39,733
Okay, so that's
Two inappropriate
Questions.
309
00:15:39,833 --> 00:15:43,067
I have not been stealing
Your newspaper, larry.
That's appalling.
310
00:15:43,167 --> 00:15:45,800
- really?
- yeah, really, larry.
311
00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:47,700
I'm quite sure
I haven't been
Taking it.
312
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,533
Are you positive,
Mark?
313
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,100
Okay.
314
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,000
Now if you'll excuse me.
315
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,733
So what did you think
Of my brother-in-law?
316
00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:21,233
- whoa.
- uh-huh.
317
00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:24,433
- man. Wow.
- big time. Wow.
318
00:16:24,533 --> 00:16:26,067
What?
319
00:16:26,167 --> 00:16:28,633
- your sister's husband.
- man, oh, man.
320
00:16:28,733 --> 00:16:32,167
- he's nauseating.
- he's quite a piece
Of work that guy.
321
00:16:32,267 --> 00:16:34,533
- who else is coming?
- ( doorbell rings )
322
00:16:34,633 --> 00:16:38,267
Oh, there's
Somebody right now.
323
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:48,067
- hey, there he is.
- somebody order latkes?
324
00:16:48,167 --> 00:16:50,267
Look at this.
Boy, oh, boy.
325
00:16:50,367 --> 00:16:52,300
- yeah, how are ya?
- great, how you doing?
326
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,200
- very good.
- good to see you.
327
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:57,333
- yeah, this is nice.
- oh, yeah?
328
00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:02,833
Let me introduce you
To some of my friends
Here.
329
00:17:02,933 --> 00:17:05,500
- the guests.
- great.
330
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,467
Hi.
331
00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:10,800
- this is marla.
- hi, marla, nice
To meet you. Rick.
332
00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:12,733
And this is
My wife cheryl.
333
00:17:12,833 --> 00:17:15,767
It's lovely to meet you.
You have a wonderful home.
334
00:17:15,867 --> 00:17:17,833
- thank you.
- thank you.
335
00:17:17,933 --> 00:17:20,700
- I made latkes. Yeah.
- latkes.
336
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:24,133
- from my mother's recipe.
- they smell good.
337
00:17:24,233 --> 00:17:27,267
Hey, this guy completely
Changed my life.
338
00:17:27,367 --> 00:17:30,000
I'm telling you.
I can't believe the way
339
00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:31,700
I hit the ball now
On account of him.
340
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,067
Yeah, just wait
Till I'm done with him.
Different man altogether.
341
00:17:35,167 --> 00:17:36,667
I can't wait.
342
00:17:36,767 --> 00:17:39,867
- nice to meet you.
- thank you.
343
00:17:39,967 --> 00:17:44,200
Come on over here.
This here is jeff.
344
00:17:44,300 --> 00:17:45,700
- you are?
- this is rick leftowitz.
345
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,600
- nice meeting you, rick.
- nice meeting you.
346
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:51,633
- this is susie.
His wife susie.
- hi.
347
00:17:51,733 --> 00:17:55,167
- and that's sammy.
- somebody drop a cute
Bomb in here?
348
00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:59,533
Oh, hey,
And this is my dad.
349
00:17:59,633 --> 00:18:02,267
Rick: it is an honor
To meet you, sir.
350
00:18:02,367 --> 00:18:03,733
Nat: nice to meet you.
351
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,700
- this is carol.
- hi, carol.
352
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:07,100
- very nice to meet you.
- rick. Nice to meet you.
353
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,700
- this is emily and jacob.
- can I talk to you a second?
354
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,200
Sure, yeah.
Excuse me for one second.
355
00:18:16,667 --> 00:18:19,300
What the hell are you
Trying to pull, larry?
356
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:20,900
- what?
- you know
Who that guy is?
357
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,533
- he had nowhere to go.
- I don't give a shit
Where he goes.
358
00:18:23,633 --> 00:18:25,967
I think it's gonna
Be a big addition
To this passover.
359
00:18:26,067 --> 00:18:28,333
- in what way?
- he's got a good
Personality.
360
00:18:28,433 --> 00:18:29,567
He's smart.
He's funny.
361
00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:32,700
He should not be
In our presence
On a holy day.
362
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,600
Any day.
What the hell
Are you doing?
363
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:38,100
( doorbell rings )
364
00:18:41,767 --> 00:18:44,833
- larry.
- hello, hello.
365
00:18:44,933 --> 00:18:47,133
- how are you?
- pretty good.
366
00:18:47,233 --> 00:18:49,967
- good to see you.
I'm glad you came.
- so are we.
367
00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:51,400
Thank you.
368
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:54,067
Everybody parked
In front of my house.
Everybody here,
369
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:56,600
- except the kids.
- yeah, so what?
370
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:59,433
- so what?
- are you going
Out tonight?
371
00:18:59,533 --> 00:19:02,333
I think you're here,
Aren't you? So what's
The problem?
372
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:04,767
Everybody's got the car
Parked in front of my--
373
00:19:04,867 --> 00:19:07,267
- same thing, every time
You have a party--
- I'm sorry.
374
00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:09,167
- I'll inform them
Next time.
- please.
375
00:19:09,267 --> 00:19:11,400
Ethel, hi, how are you?
376
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:13,533
It was so nice
Of you to invite us.
377
00:19:13,633 --> 00:19:15,833
My pleasure.
Ethel, what I
Want you to do is
378
00:19:15,933 --> 00:19:19,733
I want you to take
A look around this
Room here, okay,
379
00:19:19,833 --> 00:19:23,300
And just see if
There's anybody
Who you recognize.
380
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,867
- okay?
- sure.
381
00:19:25,967 --> 00:19:27,633
- all right, would you
Do that for me?
- sure.
382
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:29,867
Take a look around.
383
00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:42,533
- ( ethel gasps )
- ( thud )
384
00:19:42,633 --> 00:19:45,133
Okay, gently.
Gently, guys.
385
00:19:45,233 --> 00:19:47,667
Let's put her here
On the bed.
386
00:19:47,767 --> 00:19:51,967
Okay, let me
Just check her.
387
00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:54,833
I think I hurt my back
Lifting her up.
388
00:19:54,933 --> 00:19:57,000
Her pulse is okay.
She's breathing fine.
389
00:19:57,100 --> 00:20:00,867
- does this happen often?
- well, yeah, every once
In awhile
390
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:03,900
- something startles her.
- how long is she going
To be out like this?
391
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,867
A couple of hours.
392
00:20:05,967 --> 00:20:08,500
A couple of hours?!
What, are you kidding?
393
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,000
Just a-- you know,
She'll sleep it off,
394
00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:12,800
Then she'll be fine.
395
00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:14,600
( all groan )
396
00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:24,533
( snapping )
397
00:20:29,567 --> 00:20:32,100
( singing in hebrew )
398
00:20:39,900 --> 00:20:42,400
Everybody have a nice big
Swig of wine.
399
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,667
( cheering )
400
00:20:46,133 --> 00:20:48,200
Hey, guess what.
401
00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:50,333
Okay, get ready, kids.
402
00:20:51,733 --> 00:20:54,067
You know what's in here?
Matzah.
403
00:20:54,167 --> 00:20:57,000
And I'm gonna hide this,
And you've got to go find it.
404
00:20:57,100 --> 00:20:59,967
And whoever finds the matzah
Is gonna get a dollar.
405
00:21:00,067 --> 00:21:02,433
- ( all "Ooh" )
- okay, a dollar!
406
00:21:02,533 --> 00:21:05,467
All right, now go
Into the kitchen.
Go in the kitchen.
407
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:08,333
Close your eyes.
Don't look.
408
00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:11,267
Cover your ears.
Okay, I'm gonna hide it now.
409
00:21:11,367 --> 00:21:13,133
Don't look!
410
00:21:37,133 --> 00:21:55,567
Okay, kids, you can come
Look for the matzah now.
411
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:01,733
( groans )
412
00:22:01,833 --> 00:22:03,600
- mac: so, larry.
- yeah?
413
00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:07,033
Any luck in finding
The guy that...
414
00:22:07,133 --> 00:22:08,433
- has been stealing
Your newspaper?
- no.
415
00:22:08,533 --> 00:22:12,333
No luck at all.
416
00:22:12,433 --> 00:22:15,333
For those of you who don't know,
I'm sure you don't,
417
00:22:15,433 --> 00:22:17,933
Somebody's been stealing
My newspaper
418
00:22:18,033 --> 00:22:21,000
For an entire week--
Yes, every day.
419
00:22:21,100 --> 00:22:23,567
Mac:
I tell you something, my wife,
She got a good look at him.
420
00:22:23,667 --> 00:22:26,833
Mean, a really good look.
421
00:22:26,933 --> 00:22:30,267
If she ever sees him again,
She'll recognize him.
422
00:22:30,367 --> 00:22:32,167
- really?
- she'll know that face.
423
00:22:32,267 --> 00:22:34,500
She never
Forgets a face.
424
00:22:37,033 --> 00:22:38,733
Is something wrong, doctor?
425
00:22:38,833 --> 00:22:42,767
Excuse me, uh, no.
Just some gefilte fish.
426
00:22:42,867 --> 00:22:46,967
Well, hopefully,
She'll wake up soon
427
00:22:47,067 --> 00:22:49,600
And come down and join us
For the rest of the seder.
428
00:22:49,700 --> 00:22:52,133
- wouldn't that
Be nice, everybody?
- all: yes, yes.
429
00:22:52,233 --> 00:22:54,400
That would be wonderful,
Wonderful!
430
00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,633
( coughs )
431
00:23:07,100 --> 00:23:09,533
Hey, there's no matzah here.
Let's go, beat it.
432
00:23:09,633 --> 00:23:11,233
Come on, pfft,
Beat it.
433
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:34,400
( jewish dance music
Playing )
434
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,567
- ( silverware clanks )
- larry: well, I've...
435
00:23:47,667 --> 00:23:49,533
Just seen ethel.
436
00:23:49,633 --> 00:23:53,133
She's coming around.
She should be down soon.
437
00:23:53,233 --> 00:23:54,967
Nat:
That's nice.
That's nice.
438
00:23:55,067 --> 00:23:57,433
Larry:
Huh? Isn't that good news?
439
00:23:57,533 --> 00:24:01,733
What is all the...
All that sound, that noise,
440
00:24:01,833 --> 00:24:03,600
The racket we all
Heard upstairs?
441
00:24:03,700 --> 00:24:06,433
Oh, my foot fell asleep
So I was kind of jumping
Up and down
442
00:24:06,533 --> 00:24:08,667
- to get the blood
Circulating again.
- ( laughing )
443
00:24:08,767 --> 00:24:10,367
I hate when
That happens, right?
444
00:24:14,567 --> 00:24:16,433
Something wrong, doctor?
445
00:24:16,533 --> 00:24:18,733
For pete's sake, I've--
446
00:24:18,833 --> 00:24:21,733
I've been paged by the hospital.
It must be an emergency.
447
00:24:21,833 --> 00:24:25,367
Oh my gosh!
Oh, it's a doctor emergency.
448
00:24:25,467 --> 00:24:28,467
- I'm so sorry.
- I didn't hear
Anything, doctor.
449
00:24:28,567 --> 00:24:30,933
- I keep my pager on vibrate...
- oh, do you?
450
00:24:31,033 --> 00:24:32,733
- ...For medical
Emergencies, yes.
- uh-huh.
451
00:24:32,833 --> 00:24:36,100
- thank you
So much for having me.
- it was great to meet you.
452
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,067
Aren't you
A cosmetic surgeon?
453
00:24:38,167 --> 00:24:41,233
Yes, we have emergencies
In that field as well.
454
00:24:41,333 --> 00:24:43,500
You know, it's too bad.
Ethel's coming down soon.
455
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,833
She'll be upset that
She didn't get to meet you.
456
00:24:45,933 --> 00:24:48,100
I'll meet her
Another time,
I'm sure.
457
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,167
Thank you.
Marla, I'm sorry.
I'll see you at home.
458
00:24:50,267 --> 00:24:51,967
- I'll see you at home.
- thank you, everyone.
459
00:24:52,067 --> 00:24:53,700
- love you.
- found it!
460
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:57,167
- what?
- ( cheering )
461
00:24:57,267 --> 00:24:59,633
- stevie!
- he found the matzah!
462
00:24:59,733 --> 00:25:01,667
Larry: in a hurry, doctor?
463
00:25:01,767 --> 00:25:04,500
- as I explained, I've been
Paged by my hospital.
- yes, I know.
464
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,233
Emergency boob job,
No doubt.
465
00:25:06,333 --> 00:25:08,567
( clears throat )
I've been paged for
A medical emergency
466
00:25:08,667 --> 00:25:11,200
- because I am a doctor.
- yes yes yes.
467
00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:13,433
You're a doctor.
Yes yes, of course,
You're a doctor.
468
00:25:13,533 --> 00:25:16,667
- it's a medical situation.
- you're lucky that
Old lady fainted.
469
00:25:16,767 --> 00:25:19,100
I don't-- I don't know
What you're talking about.
470
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,833
You took that paper.
I know you did.
471
00:25:21,933 --> 00:25:24,033
I'm a doctor, you idiot!
472
00:25:26,133 --> 00:25:28,067
Good yontif.
473
00:25:29,267 --> 00:25:31,233
- larry?
- hey, buddy, what's up?
474
00:25:31,333 --> 00:25:32,467
Can I talk to you
For a second?
475
00:25:32,567 --> 00:25:34,800
- sure, what's up?
- um...
476
00:25:34,900 --> 00:25:37,233
This is really hard.
I, uh...
477
00:25:37,333 --> 00:25:42,200
I'm... In the throes
Of a moral quandary right now,
478
00:25:42,300 --> 00:25:44,733
- and I don't know what to do.
- okay, um...
479
00:25:44,833 --> 00:25:47,067
I'm not really the right--
I'm not a good person to...
480
00:25:47,167 --> 00:25:50,200
- oh, I think you are.
You're the perfect person.
- ...To confide in, no no no.
481
00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:53,233
What you need
To see is a doctor
Or a psychiatrist,
482
00:25:53,333 --> 00:25:54,833
- a counselor of some kind.
- a doctor, no no no.
483
00:25:54,933 --> 00:25:57,667
I'm-- I'm-- I'm clear
On what I'm torn about:
484
00:25:57,767 --> 00:25:59,567
My allegiance to you
As a friend,
485
00:25:59,667 --> 00:26:02,833
And not wanting
To ruin the party.
486
00:26:02,933 --> 00:26:05,633
Uh, but I saw something
Very shocking,
487
00:26:05,733 --> 00:26:07,667
And I feel like
I have to tell you.
488
00:26:07,767 --> 00:26:09,467
What-- what's going on?
489
00:26:10,233 --> 00:26:12,633
Well, I saw mr. Dunkle
490
00:26:12,733 --> 00:26:15,067
Whisper in his son's ear.
491
00:26:15,167 --> 00:26:18,100
And then the boy went right
Over and found the matzah.
492
00:26:20,667 --> 00:26:22,733
Oh my god.
493
00:26:22,833 --> 00:26:26,633
Yeah, because he
Saw me hiding it.
494
00:26:26,733 --> 00:26:28,533
We made eye contact.
He saw it.
495
00:26:28,633 --> 00:26:31,900
Well, there you go.
Sorry.
496
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,067
Yeah, okay.
497
00:26:34,167 --> 00:26:37,333
- I'll take it from here.
- okay.
498
00:26:51,867 --> 00:26:54,867
When am I gonna get
My dollar?
499
00:26:54,967 --> 00:26:56,900
Oh yeah, your dollar.
500
00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:00,167
That's right.
Let me ask you
A question, stevie.
501
00:27:00,267 --> 00:27:03,067
I notice that you went
To the bookcase once.
502
00:27:03,167 --> 00:27:06,700
What made you go
Back there a second time?
503
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:09,267
Hey, look look,
He found the matzah,
Pay up.
504
00:27:09,367 --> 00:27:11,567
I'm just trying
To find out why he went
Back to the bookcase.
505
00:27:11,667 --> 00:27:15,033
There's no need
For the third degree.
Just pay him the dollar.
506
00:27:15,133 --> 00:27:17,333
- how come you
Went back, stevie?
- stop it!
507
00:27:17,433 --> 00:27:20,233
He found the matzah,
Pay up. That's that!
508
00:27:20,333 --> 00:27:22,100
- he found the matzah?
- yeah!
509
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,467
'cause you told him
Where it was hidden.
510
00:27:24,567 --> 00:27:26,433
- that is a lie!
- didn't you?
511
00:27:26,533 --> 00:27:29,300
- didn't you?
- that is a lie!
You don't know anything.
512
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:31,200
- how would you know that?
- how do I know?
513
00:27:31,300 --> 00:27:33,267
How would you know?
514
00:27:35,900 --> 00:27:38,633
My friend told me,
That's how I know!
515
00:27:38,733 --> 00:27:42,833
He saw you whisper in
Your son's ear then watched
As he ran to the bookcase
516
00:27:42,933 --> 00:27:46,800
- and got the matzah.
- oh, your friend the convicted
Sex offender!
517
00:27:46,900 --> 00:27:48,600
( all clamoring )
518
00:27:56,867 --> 00:27:59,500
Oh my god!
Oh my god, there's
Something wrong with sammy.
519
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:01,433
Sammy, sammy, get up.
520
00:28:01,533 --> 00:28:03,733
Come on, come on.
What's the matter, honey?
521
00:28:03,833 --> 00:28:05,167
She can't breathe.
She can't breathe.
522
00:28:05,267 --> 00:28:07,567
- does anyone know
Mouth-to-mouth?
- oh my god!
523
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:27,133
I do.
524
00:28:39,533 --> 00:29:46,300
( theme music playing )
41361
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