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1
00:00:06,333 --> 00:00:08,533
( theme music playing )
2
00:00:13,933 --> 00:00:17,633
( shoes squeaking )
3
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,233
Man: how do thosefeel to you?
4
00:00:24,267 --> 00:00:26,733
Well, they feel
Pretty good.
5
00:00:26,767 --> 00:00:28,200
I kinda like
These orthotics.
6
00:00:28,233 --> 00:00:31,467
Yeah, they're really
Going to help.
7
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,000
Boy, they sure
Make a lot of noise.
8
00:00:36,033 --> 00:00:38,400
They take a while
To work in.
9
00:00:44,167 --> 00:00:47,833
( singing in hebrew )
10
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,700
Ah, jesús!
11
00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:55,067
How are you?
12
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:59,033
- everything okay?
- si.
13
00:00:59,067 --> 00:01:01,633
Yeah? You seem
A little down.
14
00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:03,433
- no, I-I okay.
- you okay?
15
00:01:03,467 --> 00:01:05,867
- si.
- can you do me a favor?
16
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:08,100
Small favor, okay?
17
00:01:08,133 --> 00:01:10,333
Small favor--
It's hardly even a favor.
18
00:01:10,367 --> 00:01:12,300
You work here, actually,
So it's part of your job.
19
00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:14,367
Either way, it's still
A favor. Okay.
20
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:17,933
So I got, uh--
See this thing?
21
00:01:17,967 --> 00:01:19,600
It's a mezuzah.
22
00:01:19,633 --> 00:01:22,433
Got that?
And I need you
23
00:01:22,467 --> 00:01:26,067
To put it
Over the door here.
24
00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:27,700
This is like
A jewish thing.
25
00:01:27,733 --> 00:01:29,267
You know, we put it
Over the door
26
00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:33,200
So every anti-semite
In the neighborhood will
Know that we live here
27
00:01:33,233 --> 00:01:34,867
In case they wanna
Burn down the house.
28
00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:38,267
Anyway, you just need a nail.
Get a nail, hammer and a nail,
29
00:01:38,300 --> 00:01:40,300
- put it up.
- si, mezuzah.
30
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:42,733
Yeah, mezuzah.
I don't-- I don't know
What it does, really.
31
00:01:42,767 --> 00:01:45,633
But anyway,
Because my father's
Coming to visit,
32
00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:48,100
He'll be upset
If he doesn't see
It up there.
33
00:01:48,133 --> 00:01:49,400
He's a little
Hard-of-hearing,
So when you talk to him,
34
00:01:49,433 --> 00:01:52,767
Talk loud.
He's losing his hearing.
35
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:54,400
- okay?
- okay.
36
00:01:54,433 --> 00:01:55,733
So you just speak up
A little bit--
37
00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,167
( loudly )
"Hello, hello?"
38
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,100
- you know.
- ( loudly ) "Hello?
39
00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:01,567
- hello?"
- yeah, "How do you feel,
Mr. David?"
40
00:02:03,867 --> 00:02:05,867
"How do you feel,
Mr. David?"
41
00:02:05,900 --> 00:02:08,367
That's good.
That's good, jesús.
42
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,367
By the way, jesús--
Jesus-- either one?
43
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,067
Either one, si.
It's okay.
44
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,933
- same thing.
- si.
45
00:02:15,967 --> 00:02:17,733
Okay, okay.
46
00:02:17,767 --> 00:02:20,400
- I do mezuzah.
- okay, great.
47
00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:23,833
What ha--
What happened
To your leg?
48
00:02:23,867 --> 00:02:27,067
It hurts on the bottom
Of my feet.
49
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:29,067
I have the exact
Same thing!
50
00:02:29,067 --> 00:02:31,500
Do you want your life
Changed, jesus?
51
00:02:31,533 --> 00:02:33,200
Huh? Okay.
52
00:02:33,233 --> 00:02:35,900
See this?
It's called an orthotic.
53
00:02:35,933 --> 00:02:39,200
Just put 'em in the bottom
Of your shoe,
54
00:02:39,233 --> 00:02:40,333
And that's it.
55
00:02:40,367 --> 00:02:41,800
No no no,
I do the mezuzah--
56
00:02:41,833 --> 00:02:43,733
- huh?
- ( speaks spanish )
57
00:02:43,767 --> 00:02:45,600
- try them on!
- tell them, maria.
58
00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,367
Honey, what could it hurt?
59
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,400
It make you
Feel better.
60
00:02:49,433 --> 00:02:52,500
- okay.
- all right, okay,
There you go.
61
00:02:52,533 --> 00:02:55,233
- okay.
- it's a good idea.
Gracias, mr. Larry.
62
00:02:55,267 --> 00:02:58,167
- de nada.
- thank you.
63
00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:02,667
De nada.* de nada.
64
00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:06,567
( shoes continue
Squeaking )
65
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,433
- what is that noise?
- I don't know.
66
00:03:09,467 --> 00:03:10,667
- hey.
- is that you?
67
00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:13,533
- what?
- what's that noise?
68
00:03:13,567 --> 00:03:14,867
Oh, the orthotics.
69
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:16,267
- ugh...
- what?
70
00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:18,067
- it's loud!
- well, you gotta
Break 'em in.
71
00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:20,367
It takes a little time.
72
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,933
They're really loud.
73
00:03:21,967 --> 00:03:23,533
Well, they're very good
For my feet, I could
Tell you that.
74
00:03:23,567 --> 00:03:26,167
- my feet feel a lot better.
- that's good.
75
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,800
Let me ask you
Something:
76
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:31,100
Why is it that
Before you have a meal,
77
00:03:31,133 --> 00:03:34,167
You do the whole cross thing,
But not for a snack.
78
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,700
I don't think
It applies to snacks.
79
00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:39,333
I guess, otherwise you'd be
Crossing all day long.
80
00:03:39,367 --> 00:03:41,867
There's gotta be
A maximum number
81
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:43,633
Of times somebody
Can cross in a day.
82
00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:46,067
Uh, I wonder
What the record is.
83
00:03:46,067 --> 00:03:48,200
Have you ever seen
Any crossing on a snack, ever?
84
00:03:48,233 --> 00:03:49,767
- I don't think so.
- excuse me.
85
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,833
I'm gonna be on the lookoutfor
People who crossbefore
Snacking.
86
00:03:52,867 --> 00:03:54,500
What's that?
87
00:03:54,533 --> 00:03:55,600
- this?
- yeah.
88
00:03:55,633 --> 00:03:56,967
This is a nail.
89
00:03:57,067 --> 00:03:59,200
I bought this
On the internet.
90
00:03:59,233 --> 00:04:01,500
It's from "The passion
Of the christ."
91
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:03,867
What, are you kidding?
92
00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:06,533
No.
93
00:04:06,567 --> 00:04:08,300
- kind of interesting--
- you got one of those
Christ nails
94
00:04:08,333 --> 00:04:10,367
- from the movie?
- mm-hmm, yep.
95
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:11,267
Have you seen it?
96
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:13,700
I didn't see it.
97
00:04:13,733 --> 00:04:15,267
- all right, you must--
- missed "Passion of
The christ."
98
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:18,100
- we have it on dvd.
- wish I could have gone.
99
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:19,567
They have all kinds of
Things in the internet
100
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:20,833
For "The passion
Of the christ."
101
00:04:20,867 --> 00:04:22,467
You're nuts about this
Jesus guy, aren't you?
102
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:24,767
Yeah, I have a personal
Relationship with christ.
103
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,333
- really?
- yeah.
104
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,533
I can see worshipping jesus
If he were a girl.
105
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:32,200
Like if god had
A daughter... Jane.
I'll worship a jane.
106
00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:35,167
- no.
- but, you know,
To worship a guy...
107
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,467
It's like a little
Kinda, you know,
108
00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:37,467
It's a little gay,
Isn't it?
109
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:39,067
- okay.
- the son of god!
110
00:04:39,067 --> 00:04:41,300
- what's the matter with you?
- no, I'm just saying.
111
00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:43,167
A girl--
I would worship jane--
112
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,333
If he had
A daughter jane,
113
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,100
I could have a
Relationshipwith a jane.
114
00:04:46,133 --> 00:04:47,900
- he didn't have a daughter!
- it's a shame it wasn't a girl.
115
00:04:47,933 --> 00:04:49,367
That's all I have to say.
116
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:53,067
- good-looking woman,
Zaftig, you know?
- okay.
117
00:04:53,067 --> 00:04:55,633
- good sense of humor.
- no no no.
118
00:04:55,667 --> 00:04:57,667
- we got it.
- if he had a daughter,
Everybody--
119
00:04:57,700 --> 00:04:59,667
- everybody
Would worship jane.
- stop it.
120
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,433
That's all I'm saying.
121
00:05:25,633 --> 00:05:28,133
- larry?
- what?
122
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,300
What are you doing?
123
00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:33,067
- what-what are you doing?
- what? Nothing.
124
00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:36,067
I was--
Your bra was kind of--
It was about to fall off
125
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:38,067
And I was-- I was
Putting it back on.
126
00:05:38,067 --> 00:05:40,467
All right, and...
127
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:43,167
I felt like
You were looking at...
128
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,900
My size.
129
00:05:45,933 --> 00:05:47,967
Oh, um...
130
00:05:48,067 --> 00:05:49,333
I--
131
00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:51,100
Well...
132
00:05:52,733 --> 00:05:55,067
I didn't deliberately
Set out to look at the size,
133
00:05:55,067 --> 00:05:56,900
But I was--
I had the bra in my hand,
134
00:05:56,933 --> 00:06:00,500
And it's kind of like,
You know, if you have
A driver's license
135
00:06:00,533 --> 00:06:02,533
You check out the date
Of birth. That's all.
136
00:06:02,567 --> 00:06:05,233
- okay.
- I checked it out.
137
00:06:05,267 --> 00:06:06,433
And what'd you think?
138
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:09,600
Yeah....
139
00:06:09,633 --> 00:06:11,067
Okay, it was good.
140
00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:13,600
Um...
141
00:06:13,633 --> 00:06:15,800
Well, while we're
On the subject,
142
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:19,633
Uh, I think we're gonna
Have to let maria go.
143
00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:21,667
- I cannot...
- really?
144
00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:25,900
Stand to watch her
Clean room to room
145
00:06:25,933 --> 00:06:28,367
Without a bra.
It's very distracting.
146
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,067
I know, but that's
A big move.
147
00:06:30,067 --> 00:06:32,067
You know, why don't you
Just tell her to put
A bra on?
148
00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:34,100
I'm not gonna have
That conversation
With someone.
149
00:06:34,133 --> 00:06:35,900
I would rather
Just get rid of her.
150
00:06:35,933 --> 00:06:37,667
- we'll find somebody else.
- really?
151
00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:40,433
First of all,
She makes the best
Chicken salad.
152
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,667
I would really
Miss that.
153
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:45,500
Well, larry,
Then you're gonna have to
Tell her to wear a bra
154
00:06:45,533 --> 00:06:47,500
Or fire her.
155
00:06:50,567 --> 00:06:52,533
- if I see--
- all right, I'll tell--
I'll tell her.
156
00:06:52,567 --> 00:06:53,867
- I'll tell her
To put the bra on.
- okay.
157
00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:56,467
I'll talk to her.
I'll talk to her,
No problem.
158
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:57,700
- okay.
- okay?
159
00:06:57,733 --> 00:06:59,733
- all right.
- I got it.
160
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,633
- you done with this?
- yeah, I am.
161
00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:03,233
You done?
162
00:07:09,433 --> 00:07:11,833
( shoes squeaking )
163
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,867
Oh hi, I thought
You were jesús!
164
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:17,333
- jesús!
- yeah.
165
00:07:17,367 --> 00:07:19,433
- no kidding.
- yeah, his shoes
Are like your shoes.
166
00:07:19,467 --> 00:07:21,400
- yeah?
- yeah, they're very loud.
167
00:07:21,433 --> 00:07:23,067
They make a lot of noise.
You gotta break them in.
168
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:24,633
Yeah, but his feet
Feel really good.
169
00:07:24,667 --> 00:07:26,200
- they're better?
- si, yeah.
170
00:07:26,233 --> 00:07:27,833
- fantastic!
- yeah, thank you.
171
00:07:27,867 --> 00:07:29,167
- that's unbelievable.
- it's good.
172
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,733
- they fit and everything?
- mm-hmm!
173
00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:32,400
- is he happy?
- yes.
174
00:07:32,433 --> 00:07:34,633
'cause you know,
Between you and me,
175
00:07:34,667 --> 00:07:38,700
- he could be quite a downer
This guy, this jesús.
- yes, I know.
176
00:07:38,733 --> 00:07:39,567
He's good.
177
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,433
- maria?
- yeah?
178
00:07:41,467 --> 00:07:44,600
Uh, I got a little thing
I need to talk about with you.
179
00:07:44,633 --> 00:07:46,067
Okay.
180
00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:49,567
Cheryl and I were
Having a conversation
The other night.
181
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,467
Well, last night,
Actually.
182
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,567
You know, we couldn't
Help but notice
183
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,567
That, uh, you don't
Wear a, uh...
184
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,100
Bra.
185
00:07:59,133 --> 00:08:01,167
Oh, no.
Don't like 'em.
186
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,200
Not for me.
187
00:08:02,233 --> 00:08:03,833
- not for you?
- no.
188
00:08:03,867 --> 00:08:06,067
Hmm.
189
00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:08,900
Because, you know I got
My father-in-law here.
190
00:08:08,933 --> 00:08:10,833
- mmm hmm?
- they're kind
Of distracting.
191
00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:12,267
Distracting?
192
00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:14,400
Yeah, a lot of
Flopping going on.
193
00:08:14,433 --> 00:08:17,267
- no, they don't flop--
- there's floppin'!
194
00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:20,333
Don't like the support things,
They're uncomfortable.
195
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,300
I haven't worn one
In 15 years.
196
00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:27,100
They've made some great
Technological advances
In bras in 15 years.
197
00:08:27,133 --> 00:08:29,667
They're inviting
And cozy and cottony.
198
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:30,933
What do you call
That cotton?
199
00:08:30,967 --> 00:08:33,567
Puma?
That's a sneaker.
200
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,967
All right...
Pima! Pima!
201
00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:38,267
No, I don't like 'em.
202
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:40,067
- you don't like 'em.
- mmm mmm.
203
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:42,767
All right, I'll tell you
What I'm gonna do for you.
204
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,167
I'm gonna buy you a bra,
How about that?
205
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,433
I'll buy you one, you'll
Try it,
206
00:08:45,467 --> 00:08:47,067
You'll put it on,
You'll see what I'm
Talking about.
207
00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:49,300
My treat.
208
00:08:49,333 --> 00:08:51,067
- okay, I'll try it.
- you'll try it!
209
00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:53,400
I'll just try it on
And let's see.
210
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,967
I'm gonna get you a bra.
211
00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:02,733
Larry:
Where are you?
212
00:09:02,767 --> 00:09:04,467
Jeff:
I'm in the kitchen.
213
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,900
( shoes squeak )
214
00:09:06,933 --> 00:09:09,533
What the hell is that?
215
00:09:09,567 --> 00:09:10,933
Oh, my orthotics.
216
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,533
What's the story
With that?
217
00:09:12,567 --> 00:09:14,200
Well, I got these new
Orthotics, you know--
218
00:09:14,233 --> 00:09:16,133
- is it always
Gonna sound that way?
- you need to break 'em in.
219
00:09:16,167 --> 00:09:18,367
- okay--
- but my foot?
220
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:19,900
- yeah?
- good night, nurse.
221
00:09:19,933 --> 00:09:21,333
- really?
- yeah.
222
00:09:21,367 --> 00:09:24,300
- how about that?
Congratulations.
- thank you.
223
00:09:24,333 --> 00:09:27,333
- thank you.
- beer?
224
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,733
- hmmm. Maybe later.
- all right, well,
If you want one,
225
00:09:29,767 --> 00:09:31,533
I haven't been able
To find my can opener.
226
00:09:31,567 --> 00:09:35,667
I'm telling you something.
I got a housekeeper who steals.
227
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:39,300
- really?
- oh yeah.
228
00:09:39,333 --> 00:09:40,900
So it's just a can opener,
You might not think it's much.
229
00:09:40,933 --> 00:09:43,200
But everything
I look for, gone!
230
00:09:43,233 --> 00:09:45,567
- why don't you fire her?
- 'cause I don't know for sure.
231
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:46,900
But I'm pretty sure.
232
00:09:46,933 --> 00:09:49,200
- gee, I hate to hear that.
- I know, it's horrible.
233
00:09:49,233 --> 00:09:53,800
Of course, my housekeeper,
I had to tell her
To wear a bra.
234
00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:55,400
You had to tell yourhousekeeper
To wear a bra?
235
00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:59,233
I am buying her--
I have to buy her a bra.
236
00:09:59,267 --> 00:10:01,800
I just don't know
What size she is.
237
00:10:01,833 --> 00:10:04,300
Susie:
Honey...
238
00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:07,400
- sammi's last tooth
Finally fell out.
- oh, great, great!
239
00:10:07,433 --> 00:10:08,567
Look at that, huh?
240
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,500
Yeah, tooth fairy'll
Be coming tonight.
241
00:10:10,533 --> 00:10:12,767
Wait a second, what is this?
242
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,300
What, tooth fairy.
243
00:10:14,333 --> 00:10:15,900
- tooth fairy?
- both: yeah.
244
00:10:15,933 --> 00:10:17,867
What, are you kidding?
She's like 11 years old.
245
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:21,233
It's none of your
God damn business, larry.
246
00:10:21,267 --> 00:10:23,833
Her tooth falls out,
We stick it under her pillow.
247
00:10:23,867 --> 00:10:26,100
She still believes
In the tooth fairy?
248
00:10:26,133 --> 00:10:29,100
Yes, she still believes.
What's the matter with that?
249
00:10:29,133 --> 00:10:30,667
- really?
- yeah.
250
00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:33,333
Jesus christ,
I'm shocked.
251
00:10:33,367 --> 00:10:36,333
What's so shocking?
You don't understand
Children.
252
00:10:36,367 --> 00:10:38,500
You don't know
Child psychology,
253
00:10:38,533 --> 00:10:40,133
And what they believe
And don't believe.
254
00:10:40,167 --> 00:10:41,767
- I guess I don't.
- no!
255
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,767
I knew there was no
Tooth fairy even before
My teeth fell out.
256
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,500
Really?Maybe that's
Whatyour problem is.
257
00:10:45,533 --> 00:10:48,067
Maybe if you had faith
Or a belief in something
258
00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:52,433
You wouldn't have
Ended up the way you did,
You know?
259
00:10:52,467 --> 00:10:53,600
What are you looking at?
260
00:10:53,633 --> 00:10:56,433
What?
No, nothing.
261
00:10:56,467 --> 00:10:58,033
All right.
Thanks for your help.
262
00:10:58,067 --> 00:11:00,367
Yeah, my pleasure.
It's always something.
263
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,133
Do me a favor?
For the rest of the night,
Just leave us alone.
264
00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:05,633
- fine, my pleasure.
- thank you.
265
00:11:05,667 --> 00:11:08,733
- you know what?
- what?
266
00:11:08,767 --> 00:11:12,600
I think she's about the same
Size as maria my housekeeper.
267
00:11:12,633 --> 00:11:14,400
- really?
- yeah.
268
00:11:14,433 --> 00:11:17,300
- you know what size she is?
- no. I can find out.
269
00:11:17,333 --> 00:11:18,900
- would you?
- sure.
270
00:11:18,933 --> 00:11:21,867
- thank you, thank you.
- do you know what
Cheryl's size is?
271
00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:25,233
I just found out,
And I gotta tell you
Something.
272
00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:27,267
- a little disappointed.
- really?
273
00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:29,367
What, "B" cup?
274
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:30,367
- I'd rather not say.
- "C"?
275
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,100
- I can't, you know--
- 32? 34?
276
00:11:33,133 --> 00:11:34,533
- I don't want
To talk about it.
- come on.
277
00:11:34,567 --> 00:11:35,600
I don't want to
Talk about it.
278
00:11:35,633 --> 00:11:37,267
- come on!
- no!
279
00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:40,300
I'm giving you
Susie's bra size,
Give me cheryl's bra size.
280
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:44,467
- it's a trade.
- I can't, I don't want to.
281
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:48,100
You don't tell me cheryl's,
I ain't telling you susie's.
282
00:11:48,133 --> 00:11:50,633
- okay. Fine.
- okay. Fine.
283
00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:51,767
I'm not the one who has
To go out and buy a bra.
284
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,767
- I don't ve a shit.
- oh, yeah, you do.
285
00:11:56,767 --> 00:11:59,333
It's unbelievable,
Isn't it?
286
00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:01,400
- I could be general manager
Of a basketball team.
- no, you couldn't.
287
00:12:01,433 --> 00:12:04,167
- I could put together
A better team--
- you could not.
288
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,867
- don't tell me I couldn't!
- you don't have a clue.
289
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,400
Half the things you say
Here on the couch--
290
00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:11,233
I know as much about
Basketball as these idiots.
291
00:12:11,267 --> 00:12:12,933
I just need
The opportunity.
292
00:12:12,967 --> 00:12:14,467
That's all, just
The opportunity.
293
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:17,833
A young, fresh kid out
Of college just needs
The opportunity.
294
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:20,433
I do!
I know I could do it.
295
00:12:20,467 --> 00:12:23,300
- where you going?
- bathroom.
296
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,100
( shoes squeaking )
297
00:13:09,267 --> 00:13:11,700
( toilet flushes )
298
00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:19,333
( shoes squeaking )
299
00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:25,900
( squeaking grows louder )
300
00:13:25,933 --> 00:13:28,433
What are you doing?
What are you doing
With that money?
301
00:13:28,467 --> 00:13:31,167
I was checking to make sure
The tooth fairy left it.
302
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,300
You're lying!
You're a liar!
You're the tooth fairy!
303
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:34,600
There is no tooth fairy!
304
00:13:34,633 --> 00:13:39,300
- there is a tooth fairy.
- you're lying! It's you!
305
00:13:39,333 --> 00:13:40,267
I'm gonna kill him!
306
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:42,433
It's you!
You're the tooth fairy!
307
00:13:42,467 --> 00:13:44,067
- you know what
You just did?
- what?
308
00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:48,567
Sammi caught me putting
The money under her pillow.
309
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:51,500
Because you woke her up with
Those things in your shoes,
310
00:13:51,533 --> 00:13:53,833
- and now she knows
That I'm the tooth fairy.
- really?
311
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:56,067
- the shoes woke her up?
- yes, the shoes woke her up!
312
00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:59,067
She knows that there's no
Tooth fairy now!
313
00:13:59,067 --> 00:14:01,067
- I'm sorry.
- oh, you're sorry?
314
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:02,800
I'm her mother!
Trust!
315
00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:05,467
I know, but it had
To happen eventually.
316
00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:09,633
You know, you're a stupid
Fucking idiot! I cannot
Listen to this!
317
00:14:09,667 --> 00:14:12,900
Jeff, do you hear this?
"It had to happen eventually."
318
00:14:12,933 --> 00:14:15,300
- what had to happen?
- his orthotics, whatever
The hell they are,
319
00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:18,800
- the noise woke sammi up.
- what's with your farchadat
Shoes?
320
00:14:18,833 --> 00:14:20,533
I told you it takes
A while to break 'em in.
321
00:14:20,567 --> 00:14:22,833
What are you breaking
'em in in my house for?
It's crazy!
322
00:14:22,867 --> 00:14:25,500
Uh, you know...
323
00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:27,467
Let me just posit this,
Okay?
324
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,333
It might be a blessing
In disguise.
325
00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:32,067
- how?
- the kid's 11 years old,
Already.
326
00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:33,167
Enough with
The tooth fairy!
327
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,900
Not your business, larry,
You misanthropic moron!
328
00:14:35,933 --> 00:14:38,300
Not for you to judge!
She's our kid,
329
00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:40,800
We decide when she knows
About the tooth fairy!
330
00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:43,633
Maybe you shouldn't
Have propagated this
Ridiculous myth!
331
00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:45,167
Get the fuck out
Of my house!
332
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,700
- you sure?
- yes!
333
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:53,833
( shoes squeaking )
334
00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:01,733
( shoes squeaking )
335
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,067
Hey, what's going on?
336
00:15:11,067 --> 00:15:12,567
What is it?
337
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,767
Larry, get rid of
Those orthotics!
338
00:15:18,367 --> 00:15:20,433
Now I'll never
Get back to sleep!
339
00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:40,400
May I help you?
340
00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:43,367
Yes, hi, um...
341
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,133
Yeah, I'm interested
In, um...
342
00:15:45,167 --> 00:15:47,367
In buying a, uh...
343
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,100
...Bra.
344
00:15:49,133 --> 00:15:51,400
- for your--
- it's not for me, no.
345
00:15:51,433 --> 00:15:53,800
For your sweetheart
Or your wife?
Girlfriend?
346
00:15:53,833 --> 00:15:56,200
Actually,
My housekeeper.
347
00:15:56,233 --> 00:15:58,300
Oh, housekeeper, okay.
348
00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,233
I'm not making it up.
It's really not for me.
349
00:16:00,267 --> 00:16:02,200
Fine, no it's not--
Of course it's not for you.
350
00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:05,433
- tell me you believe me.
- I believe you, of course not!
351
00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:07,933
- not that there's
Anything wrong with it.
- no--
352
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,700
But there is something
Wrong with it.
353
00:16:09,733 --> 00:16:11,833
- there's a lot wrong with it.
- you can't say that in this
Day and age.
354
00:16:11,867 --> 00:16:13,933
I like to walk around
With underwear on my head.
355
00:16:13,967 --> 00:16:16,633
Is there something wrong
With that?
356
00:16:16,667 --> 00:16:18,600
- yeah, there's something
Wrong with that.
- that's very funny.
357
00:16:18,633 --> 00:16:21,067
- so you really do
Need a bra, then?
- yes.
358
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:23,667
Something comfortable.
She hasn't worn one in
15 years.
359
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:26,600
- not a french maid outfit?
- no, it's not a lacey french
Maid outfit.
360
00:16:26,633 --> 00:16:29,833
- 'cause we have lots of those.
- this feels very nice.
361
00:16:29,867 --> 00:16:33,067
- yes, this is our
Revolutionary "Elasticene."
- yeah.
362
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:35,067
- this is the one--
- lovely.
363
00:16:35,067 --> 00:16:37,200
This is the best bra
We make.
364
00:16:37,233 --> 00:16:39,400
It's so soft, I like that.
I like that.
365
00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:43,167
- in fact, this one--
- I wonder if they make
Underwear out of this stuff.
366
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,333
They do.
We have matching panties.
367
00:16:45,367 --> 00:16:47,300
No, for me, for men.
368
00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:49,833
See, that's what I'm saying.
369
00:16:49,867 --> 00:16:53,233
Feel free to try on anything
Here that you want.
370
00:16:53,267 --> 00:16:54,500
Are you out of your mind?
371
00:16:54,533 --> 00:16:56,800
I'm not saying it's for me.
It's not for me.
372
00:16:56,833 --> 00:16:59,767
I'm just saying
This kind of foamy,
Soft material
373
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:04,233
- would be nice
Down there for me.
- it's so smooth, yes.
374
00:17:04,267 --> 00:17:05,733
That doesn't make me
A pervert...
375
00:17:05,767 --> 00:17:07,100
There's nothing perverted
About it!
376
00:17:07,133 --> 00:17:09,300
...Just 'cause I want
To wear underwear made
Out of a bra.
377
00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:11,967
Let's figure out
What this woman has...
378
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,567
Got a good selection
For you here.
379
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,067
And the only issue,
Of course, is the size,
380
00:17:20,067 --> 00:17:23,700
Which I have to say I didn't
Really know your size.
381
00:17:23,733 --> 00:17:26,067
I got a feeling I think
I nailed it.
382
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:27,233
I really do!
383
00:17:27,267 --> 00:17:29,267
Okay, try them all on.
384
00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:30,700
- all right?
- thank you, mr. David.
385
00:17:30,733 --> 00:17:32,333
All right,
You're welcome.
386
00:17:35,733 --> 00:17:39,267
( shoes squeaking )
387
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,300
Hey.
388
00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:45,233
You're a sick fuck,
You know that?
389
00:17:45,267 --> 00:17:46,900
What are you
Talking about?
390
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:50,200
What are we talking about?
Our housekeeper's been
Stealing, larry,
391
00:17:50,233 --> 00:17:52,167
So we installed cameras
Throughout the house.
392
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,933
Laundry room.
I looked at the tape.
393
00:17:59,267 --> 00:18:00,900
Susie:
Quite a show, larry.
394
00:18:00,933 --> 00:18:02,233
Look familiar?
395
00:18:02,267 --> 00:18:04,433
Larry:
So, I'm looking at
The size of it.
396
00:18:04,467 --> 00:18:06,667
I needed to buy a bra
For the housekeeper,
397
00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:09,067
And it seemed like
You two were the same size.
398
00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:10,400
So I needed to find out
What your size was!
399
00:18:10,433 --> 00:18:12,733
And what's all this
Mincing around?
What is this?
400
00:18:12,767 --> 00:18:14,933
Larry:
I was trying to imagine
What it would be like
401
00:18:14,967 --> 00:18:17,067
To be the housekeeper
And have those breasts
402
00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:19,367
You know, working
And doing dishes.
403
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,800
Susie: and how did that
Feel?Did it feel good?
404
00:18:21,833 --> 00:18:24,533
This is how your housekeeper
Washes dishes, like this?
405
00:18:24,567 --> 00:18:28,633
Huh? That's what she does?She
Dances, mincing
Around,washing dishes?
406
00:18:28,667 --> 00:18:30,200
Why are you looking
At her breasts?
407
00:18:30,233 --> 00:18:33,967
I don't understand why
You would walk into
Her laundry room
408
00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:35,633
And start rifling
Through her underwear.
409
00:18:35,667 --> 00:18:38,300
I just happened to see
The bra there, so I thought,
410
00:18:38,333 --> 00:18:42,133
Hey look at that,
She seems to be about
The same size as maria!
411
00:18:42,167 --> 00:18:44,667
That's what you're doing?
Staring at everyone's
Breasts?
412
00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:47,333
- yeah, exactly!
- no, I knew I had to buy
Her a bra and I thought--
413
00:18:47,367 --> 00:18:50,667
Why are you
Buying her a bra!
You don't have to.
414
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:52,233
You're the one who
Made me get a bra for
Her in the first place!
415
00:18:52,267 --> 00:18:55,300
I never said go buy her a bra!
What is wrong with you?
416
00:18:55,333 --> 00:18:57,600
You wanted her
To put a bra on,
And I was just fine--
417
00:18:57,633 --> 00:19:00,100
Cheryl: you don't
Walkaround looking--
418
00:19:00,133 --> 00:19:03,133
It's disgusting.
Keep you goddamn hands
Off my brassiere, okay?
419
00:19:03,167 --> 00:19:04,833
This isn't the first time
It's happened.
420
00:19:04,867 --> 00:19:08,700
The other day he's rifling
Through my things looking
At my labels.
421
00:19:08,733 --> 00:19:10,167
We've been married 11 years.
422
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,700
So I took a little peek
At her bra size, big deal.
423
00:19:12,733 --> 00:19:14,733
So sue me! Lock me up!
424
00:19:14,767 --> 00:19:16,800
Pervert!
You sick fuck pervert!
425
00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:18,633
You have some fetish
About bras--
426
00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:21,233
Oh get out of here!
Fetish...
427
00:19:21,267 --> 00:19:22,700
I don't know what
The hell it is,
428
00:19:22,733 --> 00:19:25,600
But it's sick and you better
Fix those goddamn shoes too!
429
00:19:25,633 --> 00:19:28,167
'cause you know what he did?
He woke sammi up
The other night,
430
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,233
I was putting money
Under her pillow because
Her tooth fell out.
431
00:19:31,267 --> 00:19:32,767
She caught me, now she knows
There's no tooth fairy.
432
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,767
Yes, because there is
No fucking tooth fairy!
433
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,733
- it's time she learned that!
- none of your business!
434
00:19:40,233 --> 00:19:41,700
Where have you been?
435
00:19:41,733 --> 00:19:43,933
Bra shopping.
436
00:19:56,567 --> 00:20:00,267
- okay, mr. Larry?
- ahh!
437
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,033
- it's nice?
- very nice!
438
00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:04,267
- it's good, huh?
- very nice indeed!
439
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:05,867
- I like it!
- you like it?
440
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,367
It's nice,
It feels good.
441
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,533
- good.
- yeah, it feels nice.
442
00:20:10,567 --> 00:20:11,767
What's with him?
443
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,867
Oh, he didn't get a lot
Of sleep last night.
444
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:17,300
He was woken up and now
He's very tired today.
445
00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:20,200
- mmm.
- yeah.
446
00:20:20,233 --> 00:20:22,533
What's the mezuzah
Doing over there?
447
00:20:22,567 --> 00:20:24,733
My father's gonna freak out.
He's gonna be here any minute.
448
00:20:24,767 --> 00:20:26,267
Why didn't jesus
Put the mezuzah up?
449
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:30,467
Oh, jesús was very upset
That you were talking
About my breasts
450
00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:32,467
And wanting to buy
A bra for me,
451
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:35,667
So he said, "Mr. David
Can go fuck himself."
452
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:39,433
That's what jesús said?
453
00:20:39,467 --> 00:20:41,767
Yeah, he was mad.
454
00:20:49,533 --> 00:20:51,700
My father's pulling up!
Where's a hammer?
455
00:20:51,733 --> 00:20:53,933
He keeps it
In the drawer somewhere.
456
00:20:57,567 --> 00:20:59,000
What about a nail?
Where's a nail?
457
00:20:59,033 --> 00:21:01,067
I don't know where
He keeps the nails!
458
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,800
( hammering )
459
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,367
What's going on there?
460
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,500
I'm putting up a mezuzah.
461
00:21:55,533 --> 00:21:59,067
Wait a minute.
Is that my nail?
462
00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:01,167
- I'll get you another one.
- you took my nail?
463
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,167
- larry!
- that's blasphemy!
464
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,767
What?
What is going on?
465
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,533
He took my nail!He took my nai!
466
00:22:07,567 --> 00:22:09,067
Took the nailright off my neck!
467
00:22:09,067 --> 00:22:11,500
Susie:
Why'd you have a nail
Around your neck?
468
00:22:11,533 --> 00:22:12,767
That's jesus' nail!
469
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,767
My father's coming right now!
470
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,933
( all yelling )
471
00:22:17,967 --> 00:22:19,933
( knock on door )
472
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,567
- hey, hey, hey!
- larry: hey hey!
473
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,633
Hey, boychick.
474
00:22:29,667 --> 00:22:32,100
All right.
All right, kiddo.
475
00:22:32,133 --> 00:22:35,733
All: hi, nat.
476
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:40,867
This is the best
Chicken salad I've
Ever had.
477
00:22:40,900 --> 00:22:43,933
- ever, right?
- unbelievable.
478
00:22:43,967 --> 00:22:45,267
I don't know what
The hell she does.
479
00:22:45,300 --> 00:22:47,267
My god, she makes
Chicken salad,
480
00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:49,600
She wears brassieres,
She does it all!
481
00:22:49,633 --> 00:22:51,667
Yeah, she's very happy
With the bras, by the way.
482
00:22:51,700 --> 00:22:52,700
Really?
483
00:22:52,733 --> 00:22:55,767
Yeah. Nailed,
Nailed the bra size.
484
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,533
- really?
- I don't know how I do it.
485
00:22:58,567 --> 00:23:01,467
I've really got
Some kind of talent
For that, you know?
486
00:23:01,500 --> 00:23:04,100
Maybe you can get a job
In a carnival somewhere.
487
00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:07,233
Yeah, it's true.
I'm good at it.
488
00:23:07,267 --> 00:23:09,533
Yeah, have your own
Little booth.
489
00:23:09,567 --> 00:23:13,367
"Step right up.
You are...
490
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,167
...36c!"
491
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:17,067
- huh?
- yeah!
492
00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:18,867
- I know.
- great.
493
00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:22,400
Of course, jesús freaked out
About the whole thing.
494
00:23:22,433 --> 00:23:23,600
- really?
- he quit, yeah.
495
00:23:23,633 --> 00:23:24,967
- he quit?
- quit.
496
00:23:25,067 --> 00:23:27,467
- wow.
- the whole thing about
The bra,
497
00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:30,567
Talking about the bra,
498
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,900
Asking her to buy a bra.
499
00:23:32,933 --> 00:23:35,067
He told her to tell me
To go fuck myself.
500
00:23:35,067 --> 00:23:37,167
- really?
- yeah.
501
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,067
He's a fucking
Nut job, this guy.
502
00:23:39,067 --> 00:23:41,367
So, did you replace
The nail?
503
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,433
Did I replace the nail?
504
00:23:43,467 --> 00:23:44,533
I believe I have.
505
00:23:44,567 --> 00:23:47,333
Oh, okay, good.
506
00:23:47,367 --> 00:23:49,067
Your father-in-law's
Gonna be very happy.
507
00:23:49,067 --> 00:23:53,067
Happy man.
Your dad's happy,
You father-in-law's happy,
508
00:23:53,067 --> 00:23:56,200
Unless, of course, any other
Emergencies arise that require
A nail to remedy it.
509
00:23:56,233 --> 00:23:57,400
You never know when
You're gonna need a nail.
510
00:23:57,433 --> 00:24:00,100
- you never know.
- you never know.
511
00:24:00,133 --> 00:24:04,267
( loud crunch )
512
00:24:04,300 --> 00:24:06,467
- what's the matter?
- my tooth!
513
00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:06,933
What?
514
00:24:06,967 --> 00:24:08,900
Fuck!
515
00:24:08,933 --> 00:24:11,067
I think my tooth
Fell out.
516
00:24:11,067 --> 00:24:12,667
Oh...
517
00:24:14,267 --> 00:24:17,133
Shit!
My tooth fell out!
518
00:24:17,167 --> 00:24:19,867
- my tooth!
- from a chicken salad
Sandwich?
519
00:24:19,900 --> 00:24:23,100
What fuckin' idiot
Put bones in a sandwich?
520
00:24:23,133 --> 00:24:24,933
I bit into a bone!
521
00:24:24,967 --> 00:24:27,933
There's bones
In the chicken salad!
522
00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:30,133
Shit!
523
00:24:30,167 --> 00:24:32,433
Fuck!
524
00:24:34,167 --> 00:24:38,067
Quiet.
What's that noise?
525
00:24:38,067 --> 00:24:39,633
- ( shoes squeaking )
- what?
526
00:24:39,667 --> 00:24:41,100
Shh.
527
00:24:41,133 --> 00:24:43,633
- ( shoes squeaking )
- sounds like your shoes.
528
00:24:46,067 --> 00:24:47,267
Jesús!
529
00:24:47,300 --> 00:24:49,733
( squeaking )
530
00:25:14,100 --> 00:25:15,800
I didn't see anybody.
531
00:25:23,067 --> 00:25:24,733
Fuck!
532
00:25:30,067 --> 00:25:32,267
( shoes squeaking )
533
00:25:42,100 --> 00:25:43,833
( body thumps )
534
00:25:43,867 --> 00:25:47,367
( jesús whimpering )
535
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,367
- what happened?
- he just fell.
536
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:50,733
Fell?
537
00:25:50,767 --> 00:25:55,633
( speaking
In foreign language )
538
00:25:57,633 --> 00:25:59,133
What is that language?
539
00:25:59,167 --> 00:26:00,767
I have no idea.
540
00:26:02,133 --> 00:26:04,600
What's this?
There's something
In his foot!
541
00:26:06,467 --> 00:26:08,567
Oh my god!
542
00:26:13,833 --> 00:26:16,133
The nail.
543
00:26:16,167 --> 00:26:17,933
I must have dropped it!
544
00:26:17,967 --> 00:26:21,567
It saved me!
545
00:26:24,133 --> 00:26:27,767
Come on, let's
Get him some help.
546
00:27:03,467 --> 00:27:06,433
Very funny.
547
00:27:06,467 --> 00:27:08,700
I don't know what
You're talking about.
548
00:27:13,167 --> 00:27:23,200
( theme music playing )
549
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:33,200
( theme music playing )
41185
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