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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,333 --> 00:00:08,533 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:13,933 --> 00:00:17,633 ( shoes squeaking ) 3 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,233 Man: how do thosefeel to you? 4 00:00:24,267 --> 00:00:26,733 Well, they feel Pretty good. 5 00:00:26,767 --> 00:00:28,200 I kinda like These orthotics. 6 00:00:28,233 --> 00:00:31,467 Yeah, they're really Going to help. 7 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,000 Boy, they sure Make a lot of noise. 8 00:00:36,033 --> 00:00:38,400 They take a while To work in. 9 00:00:44,167 --> 00:00:47,833 ( singing in hebrew ) 10 00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,700 Ah, jesús! 11 00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:55,067 How are you? 12 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:59,033 - everything okay? - si. 13 00:00:59,067 --> 00:01:01,633 Yeah? You seem A little down. 14 00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:03,433 - no, I-I okay. - you okay? 15 00:01:03,467 --> 00:01:05,867 - si. - can you do me a favor? 16 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:08,100 Small favor, okay? 17 00:01:08,133 --> 00:01:10,333 Small favor-- It's hardly even a favor. 18 00:01:10,367 --> 00:01:12,300 You work here, actually, So it's part of your job. 19 00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:14,367 Either way, it's still A favor. Okay. 20 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:17,933 So I got, uh-- See this thing? 21 00:01:17,967 --> 00:01:19,600 It's a mezuzah. 22 00:01:19,633 --> 00:01:22,433 Got that? And I need you 23 00:01:22,467 --> 00:01:26,067 To put it Over the door here. 24 00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:27,700 This is like A jewish thing. 25 00:01:27,733 --> 00:01:29,267 You know, we put it Over the door 26 00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:33,200 So every anti-semite In the neighborhood will Know that we live here 27 00:01:33,233 --> 00:01:34,867 In case they wanna Burn down the house. 28 00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:38,267 Anyway, you just need a nail. Get a nail, hammer and a nail, 29 00:01:38,300 --> 00:01:40,300 - put it up. - si, mezuzah. 30 00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:42,733 Yeah, mezuzah. I don't-- I don't know What it does, really. 31 00:01:42,767 --> 00:01:45,633 But anyway, Because my father's Coming to visit, 32 00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:48,100 He'll be upset If he doesn't see It up there. 33 00:01:48,133 --> 00:01:49,400 He's a little Hard-of-hearing, So when you talk to him, 34 00:01:49,433 --> 00:01:52,767 Talk loud. He's losing his hearing. 35 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:54,400 - okay? - okay. 36 00:01:54,433 --> 00:01:55,733 So you just speak up A little bit-- 37 00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,167 ( loudly ) "Hello, hello?" 38 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,100 - you know. - ( loudly ) "Hello? 39 00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:01,567 - hello?" - yeah, "How do you feel, Mr. David?" 40 00:02:03,867 --> 00:02:05,867 "How do you feel, Mr. David?" 41 00:02:05,900 --> 00:02:08,367 That's good. That's good, jesús. 42 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,367 By the way, jesús-- Jesus-- either one? 43 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,067 Either one, si. It's okay. 44 00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,933 - same thing. - si. 45 00:02:15,967 --> 00:02:17,733 Okay, okay. 46 00:02:17,767 --> 00:02:20,400 - I do mezuzah. - okay, great. 47 00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:23,833 What ha-- What happened To your leg? 48 00:02:23,867 --> 00:02:27,067 It hurts on the bottom Of my feet. 49 00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:29,067 I have the exact Same thing! 50 00:02:29,067 --> 00:02:31,500 Do you want your life Changed, jesus? 51 00:02:31,533 --> 00:02:33,200 Huh? Okay. 52 00:02:33,233 --> 00:02:35,900 See this? It's called an orthotic. 53 00:02:35,933 --> 00:02:39,200 Just put 'em in the bottom Of your shoe, 54 00:02:39,233 --> 00:02:40,333 And that's it. 55 00:02:40,367 --> 00:02:41,800 No no no, I do the mezuzah-- 56 00:02:41,833 --> 00:02:43,733 - huh? - ( speaks spanish ) 57 00:02:43,767 --> 00:02:45,600 - try them on! - tell them, maria. 58 00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,367 Honey, what could it hurt? 59 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,400 It make you Feel better. 60 00:02:49,433 --> 00:02:52,500 - okay. - all right, okay, There you go. 61 00:02:52,533 --> 00:02:55,233 - okay. - it's a good idea. Gracias, mr. Larry. 62 00:02:55,267 --> 00:02:58,167 - de nada. - thank you. 63 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:02,667 De nada.* de nada. 64 00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:06,567 ( shoes continue Squeaking ) 65 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,433 - what is that noise? - I don't know. 66 00:03:09,467 --> 00:03:10,667 - hey. - is that you? 67 00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:13,533 - what? - what's that noise? 68 00:03:13,567 --> 00:03:14,867 Oh, the orthotics. 69 00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:16,267 - ugh... - what? 70 00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:18,067 - it's loud! - well, you gotta Break 'em in. 71 00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:20,367 It takes a little time. 72 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,933 They're really loud. 73 00:03:21,967 --> 00:03:23,533 Well, they're very good For my feet, I could Tell you that. 74 00:03:23,567 --> 00:03:26,167 - my feet feel a lot better. - that's good. 75 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,800 Let me ask you Something: 76 00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:31,100 Why is it that Before you have a meal, 77 00:03:31,133 --> 00:03:34,167 You do the whole cross thing, But not for a snack. 78 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,700 I don't think It applies to snacks. 79 00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:39,333 I guess, otherwise you'd be Crossing all day long. 80 00:03:39,367 --> 00:03:41,867 There's gotta be A maximum number 81 00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:43,633 Of times somebody Can cross in a day. 82 00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:46,067 Uh, I wonder What the record is. 83 00:03:46,067 --> 00:03:48,200 Have you ever seen Any crossing on a snack, ever? 84 00:03:48,233 --> 00:03:49,767 - I don't think so. - excuse me. 85 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,833 I'm gonna be on the lookoutfor People who crossbefore Snacking. 86 00:03:52,867 --> 00:03:54,500 What's that? 87 00:03:54,533 --> 00:03:55,600 - this? - yeah. 88 00:03:55,633 --> 00:03:56,967 This is a nail. 89 00:03:57,067 --> 00:03:59,200 I bought this On the internet. 90 00:03:59,233 --> 00:04:01,500 It's from "The passion Of the christ." 91 00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:03,867 What, are you kidding? 92 00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:06,533 No. 93 00:04:06,567 --> 00:04:08,300 - kind of interesting-- - you got one of those Christ nails 94 00:04:08,333 --> 00:04:10,367 - from the movie? - mm-hmm, yep. 95 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:11,267 Have you seen it? 96 00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:13,700 I didn't see it. 97 00:04:13,733 --> 00:04:15,267 - all right, you must-- - missed "Passion of The christ." 98 00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:18,100 - we have it on dvd. - wish I could have gone. 99 00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:19,567 They have all kinds of Things in the internet 100 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:20,833 For "The passion Of the christ." 101 00:04:20,867 --> 00:04:22,467 You're nuts about this Jesus guy, aren't you? 102 00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:24,767 Yeah, I have a personal Relationship with christ. 103 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,333 - really? - yeah. 104 00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,533 I can see worshipping jesus If he were a girl. 105 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:32,200 Like if god had A daughter... Jane. I'll worship a jane. 106 00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:35,167 - no. - but, you know, To worship a guy... 107 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,467 It's like a little Kinda, you know, 108 00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:37,467 It's a little gay, Isn't it? 109 00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:39,067 - okay. - the son of god! 110 00:04:39,067 --> 00:04:41,300 - what's the matter with you? - no, I'm just saying. 111 00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:43,167 A girl-- I would worship jane-- 112 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,333 If he had A daughter jane, 113 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,100 I could have a Relationshipwith a jane. 114 00:04:46,133 --> 00:04:47,900 - he didn't have a daughter! - it's a shame it wasn't a girl. 115 00:04:47,933 --> 00:04:49,367 That's all I have to say. 116 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:53,067 - good-looking woman, Zaftig, you know? - okay. 117 00:04:53,067 --> 00:04:55,633 - good sense of humor. - no no no. 118 00:04:55,667 --> 00:04:57,667 - we got it. - if he had a daughter, Everybody-- 119 00:04:57,700 --> 00:04:59,667 - everybody Would worship jane. - stop it. 120 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,433 That's all I'm saying. 121 00:05:25,633 --> 00:05:28,133 - larry? - what? 122 00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,300 What are you doing? 123 00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:33,067 - what-what are you doing? - what? Nothing. 124 00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:36,067 I was-- Your bra was kind of-- It was about to fall off 125 00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:38,067 And I was-- I was Putting it back on. 126 00:05:38,067 --> 00:05:40,467 All right, and... 127 00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:43,167 I felt like You were looking at... 128 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,900 My size. 129 00:05:45,933 --> 00:05:47,967 Oh, um... 130 00:05:48,067 --> 00:05:49,333 I-- 131 00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:51,100 Well... 132 00:05:52,733 --> 00:05:55,067 I didn't deliberately Set out to look at the size, 133 00:05:55,067 --> 00:05:56,900 But I was-- I had the bra in my hand, 134 00:05:56,933 --> 00:06:00,500 And it's kind of like, You know, if you have A driver's license 135 00:06:00,533 --> 00:06:02,533 You check out the date Of birth. That's all. 136 00:06:02,567 --> 00:06:05,233 - okay. - I checked it out. 137 00:06:05,267 --> 00:06:06,433 And what'd you think? 138 00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:09,600 Yeah.... 139 00:06:09,633 --> 00:06:11,067 Okay, it was good. 140 00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:13,600 Um... 141 00:06:13,633 --> 00:06:15,800 Well, while we're On the subject, 142 00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:19,633 Uh, I think we're gonna Have to let maria go. 143 00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:21,667 - I cannot... - really? 144 00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:25,900 Stand to watch her Clean room to room 145 00:06:25,933 --> 00:06:28,367 Without a bra. It's very distracting. 146 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,067 I know, but that's A big move. 147 00:06:30,067 --> 00:06:32,067 You know, why don't you Just tell her to put A bra on? 148 00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:34,100 I'm not gonna have That conversation With someone. 149 00:06:34,133 --> 00:06:35,900 I would rather Just get rid of her. 150 00:06:35,933 --> 00:06:37,667 - we'll find somebody else. - really? 151 00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:40,433 First of all, She makes the best Chicken salad. 152 00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,667 I would really Miss that. 153 00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:45,500 Well, larry, Then you're gonna have to Tell her to wear a bra 154 00:06:45,533 --> 00:06:47,500 Or fire her. 155 00:06:50,567 --> 00:06:52,533 - if I see-- - all right, I'll tell-- I'll tell her. 156 00:06:52,567 --> 00:06:53,867 - I'll tell her To put the bra on. - okay. 157 00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:56,467 I'll talk to her. I'll talk to her, No problem. 158 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:57,700 - okay. - okay? 159 00:06:57,733 --> 00:06:59,733 - all right. - I got it. 160 00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,633 - you done with this? - yeah, I am. 161 00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:03,233 You done? 162 00:07:09,433 --> 00:07:11,833 ( shoes squeaking ) 163 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,867 Oh hi, I thought You were jesús! 164 00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:17,333 - jesús! - yeah. 165 00:07:17,367 --> 00:07:19,433 - no kidding. - yeah, his shoes Are like your shoes. 166 00:07:19,467 --> 00:07:21,400 - yeah? - yeah, they're very loud. 167 00:07:21,433 --> 00:07:23,067 They make a lot of noise. You gotta break them in. 168 00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:24,633 Yeah, but his feet Feel really good. 169 00:07:24,667 --> 00:07:26,200 - they're better? - si, yeah. 170 00:07:26,233 --> 00:07:27,833 - fantastic! - yeah, thank you. 171 00:07:27,867 --> 00:07:29,167 - that's unbelievable. - it's good. 172 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,733 - they fit and everything? - mm-hmm! 173 00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:32,400 - is he happy? - yes. 174 00:07:32,433 --> 00:07:34,633 'cause you know, Between you and me, 175 00:07:34,667 --> 00:07:38,700 - he could be quite a downer This guy, this jesús. - yes, I know. 176 00:07:38,733 --> 00:07:39,567 He's good. 177 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,433 - maria? - yeah? 178 00:07:41,467 --> 00:07:44,600 Uh, I got a little thing I need to talk about with you. 179 00:07:44,633 --> 00:07:46,067 Okay. 180 00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:49,567 Cheryl and I were Having a conversation The other night. 181 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,467 Well, last night, Actually. 182 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,567 You know, we couldn't Help but notice 183 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,567 That, uh, you don't Wear a, uh... 184 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,100 Bra. 185 00:07:59,133 --> 00:08:01,167 Oh, no. Don't like 'em. 186 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,200 Not for me. 187 00:08:02,233 --> 00:08:03,833 - not for you? - no. 188 00:08:03,867 --> 00:08:06,067 Hmm. 189 00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:08,900 Because, you know I got My father-in-law here. 190 00:08:08,933 --> 00:08:10,833 - mmm hmm? - they're kind Of distracting. 191 00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:12,267 Distracting? 192 00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:14,400 Yeah, a lot of Flopping going on. 193 00:08:14,433 --> 00:08:17,267 - no, they don't flop-- - there's floppin'! 194 00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:20,333 Don't like the support things, They're uncomfortable. 195 00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,300 I haven't worn one In 15 years. 196 00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:27,100 They've made some great Technological advances In bras in 15 years. 197 00:08:27,133 --> 00:08:29,667 They're inviting And cozy and cottony. 198 00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:30,933 What do you call That cotton? 199 00:08:30,967 --> 00:08:33,567 Puma? That's a sneaker. 200 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,967 All right... Pima! Pima! 201 00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:38,267 No, I don't like 'em. 202 00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:40,067 - you don't like 'em. - mmm mmm. 203 00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:42,767 All right, I'll tell you What I'm gonna do for you. 204 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,167 I'm gonna buy you a bra, How about that? 205 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,433 I'll buy you one, you'll Try it, 206 00:08:45,467 --> 00:08:47,067 You'll put it on, You'll see what I'm Talking about. 207 00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:49,300 My treat. 208 00:08:49,333 --> 00:08:51,067 - okay, I'll try it. - you'll try it! 209 00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:53,400 I'll just try it on And let's see. 210 00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,967 I'm gonna get you a bra. 211 00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:02,733 Larry: Where are you? 212 00:09:02,767 --> 00:09:04,467 Jeff: I'm in the kitchen. 213 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,900 ( shoes squeak ) 214 00:09:06,933 --> 00:09:09,533 What the hell is that? 215 00:09:09,567 --> 00:09:10,933 Oh, my orthotics. 216 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,533 What's the story With that? 217 00:09:12,567 --> 00:09:14,200 Well, I got these new Orthotics, you know-- 218 00:09:14,233 --> 00:09:16,133 - is it always Gonna sound that way? - you need to break 'em in. 219 00:09:16,167 --> 00:09:18,367 - okay-- - but my foot? 220 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:19,900 - yeah? - good night, nurse. 221 00:09:19,933 --> 00:09:21,333 - really? - yeah. 222 00:09:21,367 --> 00:09:24,300 - how about that? Congratulations. - thank you. 223 00:09:24,333 --> 00:09:27,333 - thank you. - beer? 224 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,733 - hmmm. Maybe later. - all right, well, If you want one, 225 00:09:29,767 --> 00:09:31,533 I haven't been able To find my can opener. 226 00:09:31,567 --> 00:09:35,667 I'm telling you something. I got a housekeeper who steals. 227 00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:39,300 - really? - oh yeah. 228 00:09:39,333 --> 00:09:40,900 So it's just a can opener, You might not think it's much. 229 00:09:40,933 --> 00:09:43,200 But everything I look for, gone! 230 00:09:43,233 --> 00:09:45,567 - why don't you fire her? - 'cause I don't know for sure. 231 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:46,900 But I'm pretty sure. 232 00:09:46,933 --> 00:09:49,200 - gee, I hate to hear that. - I know, it's horrible. 233 00:09:49,233 --> 00:09:53,800 Of course, my housekeeper, I had to tell her To wear a bra. 234 00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:55,400 You had to tell yourhousekeeper To wear a bra? 235 00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:59,233 I am buying her-- I have to buy her a bra. 236 00:09:59,267 --> 00:10:01,800 I just don't know What size she is. 237 00:10:01,833 --> 00:10:04,300 Susie: Honey... 238 00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:07,400 - sammi's last tooth Finally fell out. - oh, great, great! 239 00:10:07,433 --> 00:10:08,567 Look at that, huh? 240 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,500 Yeah, tooth fairy'll Be coming tonight. 241 00:10:10,533 --> 00:10:12,767 Wait a second, what is this? 242 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,300 What, tooth fairy. 243 00:10:14,333 --> 00:10:15,900 - tooth fairy? - both: yeah. 244 00:10:15,933 --> 00:10:17,867 What, are you kidding? She's like 11 years old. 245 00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:21,233 It's none of your God damn business, larry. 246 00:10:21,267 --> 00:10:23,833 Her tooth falls out, We stick it under her pillow. 247 00:10:23,867 --> 00:10:26,100 She still believes In the tooth fairy? 248 00:10:26,133 --> 00:10:29,100 Yes, she still believes. What's the matter with that? 249 00:10:29,133 --> 00:10:30,667 - really? - yeah. 250 00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:33,333 Jesus christ, I'm shocked. 251 00:10:33,367 --> 00:10:36,333 What's so shocking? You don't understand Children. 252 00:10:36,367 --> 00:10:38,500 You don't know Child psychology, 253 00:10:38,533 --> 00:10:40,133 And what they believe And don't believe. 254 00:10:40,167 --> 00:10:41,767 - I guess I don't. - no! 255 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,767 I knew there was no Tooth fairy even before My teeth fell out. 256 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,500 Really?Maybe that's Whatyour problem is. 257 00:10:45,533 --> 00:10:48,067 Maybe if you had faith Or a belief in something 258 00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:52,433 You wouldn't have Ended up the way you did, You know? 259 00:10:52,467 --> 00:10:53,600 What are you looking at? 260 00:10:53,633 --> 00:10:56,433 What? No, nothing. 261 00:10:56,467 --> 00:10:58,033 All right. Thanks for your help. 262 00:10:58,067 --> 00:11:00,367 Yeah, my pleasure. It's always something. 263 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,133 Do me a favor? For the rest of the night, Just leave us alone. 264 00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:05,633 - fine, my pleasure. - thank you. 265 00:11:05,667 --> 00:11:08,733 - you know what? - what? 266 00:11:08,767 --> 00:11:12,600 I think she's about the same Size as maria my housekeeper. 267 00:11:12,633 --> 00:11:14,400 - really? - yeah. 268 00:11:14,433 --> 00:11:17,300 - you know what size she is? - no. I can find out. 269 00:11:17,333 --> 00:11:18,900 - would you? - sure. 270 00:11:18,933 --> 00:11:21,867 - thank you, thank you. - do you know what Cheryl's size is? 271 00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:25,233 I just found out, And I gotta tell you Something. 272 00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:27,267 - a little disappointed. - really? 273 00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:29,367 What, "B" cup? 274 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:30,367 - I'd rather not say. - "C"? 275 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,100 - I can't, you know-- - 32? 34? 276 00:11:33,133 --> 00:11:34,533 - I don't want To talk about it. - come on. 277 00:11:34,567 --> 00:11:35,600 I don't want to Talk about it. 278 00:11:35,633 --> 00:11:37,267 - come on! - no! 279 00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:40,300 I'm giving you Susie's bra size, Give me cheryl's bra size. 280 00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:44,467 - it's a trade. - I can't, I don't want to. 281 00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:48,100 You don't tell me cheryl's, I ain't telling you susie's. 282 00:11:48,133 --> 00:11:50,633 - okay. Fine. - okay. Fine. 283 00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:51,767 I'm not the one who has To go out and buy a bra. 284 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,767 - I don't ve a shit. - oh, yeah, you do. 285 00:11:56,767 --> 00:11:59,333 It's unbelievable, Isn't it? 286 00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:01,400 - I could be general manager Of a basketball team. - no, you couldn't. 287 00:12:01,433 --> 00:12:04,167 - I could put together A better team-- - you could not. 288 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,867 - don't tell me I couldn't! - you don't have a clue. 289 00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,400 Half the things you say Here on the couch-- 290 00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:11,233 I know as much about Basketball as these idiots. 291 00:12:11,267 --> 00:12:12,933 I just need The opportunity. 292 00:12:12,967 --> 00:12:14,467 That's all, just The opportunity. 293 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:17,833 A young, fresh kid out Of college just needs The opportunity. 294 00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:20,433 I do! I know I could do it. 295 00:12:20,467 --> 00:12:23,300 - where you going? - bathroom. 296 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,100 ( shoes squeaking ) 297 00:13:09,267 --> 00:13:11,700 ( toilet flushes ) 298 00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:19,333 ( shoes squeaking ) 299 00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:25,900 ( squeaking grows louder ) 300 00:13:25,933 --> 00:13:28,433 What are you doing? What are you doing With that money? 301 00:13:28,467 --> 00:13:31,167 I was checking to make sure The tooth fairy left it. 302 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,300 You're lying! You're a liar! You're the tooth fairy! 303 00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:34,600 There is no tooth fairy! 304 00:13:34,633 --> 00:13:39,300 - there is a tooth fairy. - you're lying! It's you! 305 00:13:39,333 --> 00:13:40,267 I'm gonna kill him! 306 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:42,433 It's you! You're the tooth fairy! 307 00:13:42,467 --> 00:13:44,067 - you know what You just did? - what? 308 00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:48,567 Sammi caught me putting The money under her pillow. 309 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:51,500 Because you woke her up with Those things in your shoes, 310 00:13:51,533 --> 00:13:53,833 - and now she knows That I'm the tooth fairy. - really? 311 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:56,067 - the shoes woke her up? - yes, the shoes woke her up! 312 00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:59,067 She knows that there's no Tooth fairy now! 313 00:13:59,067 --> 00:14:01,067 - I'm sorry. - oh, you're sorry? 314 00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:02,800 I'm her mother! Trust! 315 00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:05,467 I know, but it had To happen eventually. 316 00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:09,633 You know, you're a stupid Fucking idiot! I cannot Listen to this! 317 00:14:09,667 --> 00:14:12,900 Jeff, do you hear this? "It had to happen eventually." 318 00:14:12,933 --> 00:14:15,300 - what had to happen? - his orthotics, whatever The hell they are, 319 00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:18,800 - the noise woke sammi up. - what's with your farchadat Shoes? 320 00:14:18,833 --> 00:14:20,533 I told you it takes A while to break 'em in. 321 00:14:20,567 --> 00:14:22,833 What are you breaking 'em in in my house for? It's crazy! 322 00:14:22,867 --> 00:14:25,500 Uh, you know... 323 00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:27,467 Let me just posit this, Okay? 324 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,333 It might be a blessing In disguise. 325 00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:32,067 - how? - the kid's 11 years old, Already. 326 00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:33,167 Enough with The tooth fairy! 327 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,900 Not your business, larry, You misanthropic moron! 328 00:14:35,933 --> 00:14:38,300 Not for you to judge! She's our kid, 329 00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:40,800 We decide when she knows About the tooth fairy! 330 00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:43,633 Maybe you shouldn't Have propagated this Ridiculous myth! 331 00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:45,167 Get the fuck out Of my house! 332 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,700 - you sure? - yes! 333 00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:53,833 ( shoes squeaking ) 334 00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:01,733 ( shoes squeaking ) 335 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,067 Hey, what's going on? 336 00:15:11,067 --> 00:15:12,567 What is it? 337 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,767 Larry, get rid of Those orthotics! 338 00:15:18,367 --> 00:15:20,433 Now I'll never Get back to sleep! 339 00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:40,400 May I help you? 340 00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:43,367 Yes, hi, um... 341 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,133 Yeah, I'm interested In, um... 342 00:15:45,167 --> 00:15:47,367 In buying a, uh... 343 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,100 ...Bra. 344 00:15:49,133 --> 00:15:51,400 - for your-- - it's not for me, no. 345 00:15:51,433 --> 00:15:53,800 For your sweetheart Or your wife? Girlfriend? 346 00:15:53,833 --> 00:15:56,200 Actually, My housekeeper. 347 00:15:56,233 --> 00:15:58,300 Oh, housekeeper, okay. 348 00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,233 I'm not making it up. It's really not for me. 349 00:16:00,267 --> 00:16:02,200 Fine, no it's not-- Of course it's not for you. 350 00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:05,433 - tell me you believe me. - I believe you, of course not! 351 00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:07,933 - not that there's Anything wrong with it. - no-- 352 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,700 But there is something Wrong with it. 353 00:16:09,733 --> 00:16:11,833 - there's a lot wrong with it. - you can't say that in this Day and age. 354 00:16:11,867 --> 00:16:13,933 I like to walk around With underwear on my head. 355 00:16:13,967 --> 00:16:16,633 Is there something wrong With that? 356 00:16:16,667 --> 00:16:18,600 - yeah, there's something Wrong with that. - that's very funny. 357 00:16:18,633 --> 00:16:21,067 - so you really do Need a bra, then? - yes. 358 00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:23,667 Something comfortable. She hasn't worn one in 15 years. 359 00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:26,600 - not a french maid outfit? - no, it's not a lacey french Maid outfit. 360 00:16:26,633 --> 00:16:29,833 - 'cause we have lots of those. - this feels very nice. 361 00:16:29,867 --> 00:16:33,067 - yes, this is our Revolutionary "Elasticene." - yeah. 362 00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:35,067 - this is the one-- - lovely. 363 00:16:35,067 --> 00:16:37,200 This is the best bra We make. 364 00:16:37,233 --> 00:16:39,400 It's so soft, I like that. I like that. 365 00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:43,167 - in fact, this one-- - I wonder if they make Underwear out of this stuff. 366 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,333 They do. We have matching panties. 367 00:16:45,367 --> 00:16:47,300 No, for me, for men. 368 00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:49,833 See, that's what I'm saying. 369 00:16:49,867 --> 00:16:53,233 Feel free to try on anything Here that you want. 370 00:16:53,267 --> 00:16:54,500 Are you out of your mind? 371 00:16:54,533 --> 00:16:56,800 I'm not saying it's for me. It's not for me. 372 00:16:56,833 --> 00:16:59,767 I'm just saying This kind of foamy, Soft material 373 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:04,233 - would be nice Down there for me. - it's so smooth, yes. 374 00:17:04,267 --> 00:17:05,733 That doesn't make me A pervert... 375 00:17:05,767 --> 00:17:07,100 There's nothing perverted About it! 376 00:17:07,133 --> 00:17:09,300 ...Just 'cause I want To wear underwear made Out of a bra. 377 00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:11,967 Let's figure out What this woman has... 378 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,567 Got a good selection For you here. 379 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,067 And the only issue, Of course, is the size, 380 00:17:20,067 --> 00:17:23,700 Which I have to say I didn't Really know your size. 381 00:17:23,733 --> 00:17:26,067 I got a feeling I think I nailed it. 382 00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:27,233 I really do! 383 00:17:27,267 --> 00:17:29,267 Okay, try them all on. 384 00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:30,700 - all right? - thank you, mr. David. 385 00:17:30,733 --> 00:17:32,333 All right, You're welcome. 386 00:17:35,733 --> 00:17:39,267 ( shoes squeaking ) 387 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,300 Hey. 388 00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:45,233 You're a sick fuck, You know that? 389 00:17:45,267 --> 00:17:46,900 What are you Talking about? 390 00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:50,200 What are we talking about? Our housekeeper's been Stealing, larry, 391 00:17:50,233 --> 00:17:52,167 So we installed cameras Throughout the house. 392 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,933 Laundry room. I looked at the tape. 393 00:17:59,267 --> 00:18:00,900 Susie: Quite a show, larry. 394 00:18:00,933 --> 00:18:02,233 Look familiar? 395 00:18:02,267 --> 00:18:04,433 Larry: So, I'm looking at The size of it. 396 00:18:04,467 --> 00:18:06,667 I needed to buy a bra For the housekeeper, 397 00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:09,067 And it seemed like You two were the same size. 398 00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:10,400 So I needed to find out What your size was! 399 00:18:10,433 --> 00:18:12,733 And what's all this Mincing around? What is this? 400 00:18:12,767 --> 00:18:14,933 Larry: I was trying to imagine What it would be like 401 00:18:14,967 --> 00:18:17,067 To be the housekeeper And have those breasts 402 00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:19,367 You know, working And doing dishes. 403 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,800 Susie: and how did that Feel?Did it feel good? 404 00:18:21,833 --> 00:18:24,533 This is how your housekeeper Washes dishes, like this? 405 00:18:24,567 --> 00:18:28,633 Huh? That's what she does?She Dances, mincing Around,washing dishes? 406 00:18:28,667 --> 00:18:30,200 Why are you looking At her breasts? 407 00:18:30,233 --> 00:18:33,967 I don't understand why You would walk into Her laundry room 408 00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:35,633 And start rifling Through her underwear. 409 00:18:35,667 --> 00:18:38,300 I just happened to see The bra there, so I thought, 410 00:18:38,333 --> 00:18:42,133 Hey look at that, She seems to be about The same size as maria! 411 00:18:42,167 --> 00:18:44,667 That's what you're doing? Staring at everyone's Breasts? 412 00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:47,333 - yeah, exactly! - no, I knew I had to buy Her a bra and I thought-- 413 00:18:47,367 --> 00:18:50,667 Why are you Buying her a bra! You don't have to. 414 00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:52,233 You're the one who Made me get a bra for Her in the first place! 415 00:18:52,267 --> 00:18:55,300 I never said go buy her a bra! What is wrong with you? 416 00:18:55,333 --> 00:18:57,600 You wanted her To put a bra on, And I was just fine-- 417 00:18:57,633 --> 00:19:00,100 Cheryl: you don't Walkaround looking-- 418 00:19:00,133 --> 00:19:03,133 It's disgusting. Keep you goddamn hands Off my brassiere, okay? 419 00:19:03,167 --> 00:19:04,833 This isn't the first time It's happened. 420 00:19:04,867 --> 00:19:08,700 The other day he's rifling Through my things looking At my labels. 421 00:19:08,733 --> 00:19:10,167 We've been married 11 years. 422 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,700 So I took a little peek At her bra size, big deal. 423 00:19:12,733 --> 00:19:14,733 So sue me! Lock me up! 424 00:19:14,767 --> 00:19:16,800 Pervert! You sick fuck pervert! 425 00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:18,633 You have some fetish About bras-- 426 00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:21,233 Oh get out of here! Fetish... 427 00:19:21,267 --> 00:19:22,700 I don't know what The hell it is, 428 00:19:22,733 --> 00:19:25,600 But it's sick and you better Fix those goddamn shoes too! 429 00:19:25,633 --> 00:19:28,167 'cause you know what he did? He woke sammi up The other night, 430 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,233 I was putting money Under her pillow because Her tooth fell out. 431 00:19:31,267 --> 00:19:32,767 She caught me, now she knows There's no tooth fairy. 432 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,767 Yes, because there is No fucking tooth fairy! 433 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,733 - it's time she learned that! - none of your business! 434 00:19:40,233 --> 00:19:41,700 Where have you been? 435 00:19:41,733 --> 00:19:43,933 Bra shopping. 436 00:19:56,567 --> 00:20:00,267 - okay, mr. Larry? - ahh! 437 00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,033 - it's nice? - very nice! 438 00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:04,267 - it's good, huh? - very nice indeed! 439 00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:05,867 - I like it! - you like it? 440 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,367 It's nice, It feels good. 441 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,533 - good. - yeah, it feels nice. 442 00:20:10,567 --> 00:20:11,767 What's with him? 443 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,867 Oh, he didn't get a lot Of sleep last night. 444 00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:17,300 He was woken up and now He's very tired today. 445 00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:20,200 - mmm. - yeah. 446 00:20:20,233 --> 00:20:22,533 What's the mezuzah Doing over there? 447 00:20:22,567 --> 00:20:24,733 My father's gonna freak out. He's gonna be here any minute. 448 00:20:24,767 --> 00:20:26,267 Why didn't jesus Put the mezuzah up? 449 00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:30,467 Oh, jesús was very upset That you were talking About my breasts 450 00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:32,467 And wanting to buy A bra for me, 451 00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:35,667 So he said, "Mr. David Can go fuck himself." 452 00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:39,433 That's what jesús said? 453 00:20:39,467 --> 00:20:41,767 Yeah, he was mad. 454 00:20:49,533 --> 00:20:51,700 My father's pulling up! Where's a hammer? 455 00:20:51,733 --> 00:20:53,933 He keeps it In the drawer somewhere. 456 00:20:57,567 --> 00:20:59,000 What about a nail? Where's a nail? 457 00:20:59,033 --> 00:21:01,067 I don't know where He keeps the nails! 458 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,800 ( hammering ) 459 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,367 What's going on there? 460 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,500 I'm putting up a mezuzah. 461 00:21:55,533 --> 00:21:59,067 Wait a minute. Is that my nail? 462 00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:01,167 - I'll get you another one. - you took my nail? 463 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,167 - larry! - that's blasphemy! 464 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,767 What? What is going on? 465 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,533 He took my nail!He took my nai! 466 00:22:07,567 --> 00:22:09,067 Took the nailright off my neck! 467 00:22:09,067 --> 00:22:11,500 Susie: Why'd you have a nail Around your neck? 468 00:22:11,533 --> 00:22:12,767 That's jesus' nail! 469 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,767 My father's coming right now! 470 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,933 ( all yelling ) 471 00:22:17,967 --> 00:22:19,933 ( knock on door ) 472 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,567 - hey, hey, hey! - larry: hey hey! 473 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,633 Hey, boychick. 474 00:22:29,667 --> 00:22:32,100 All right. All right, kiddo. 475 00:22:32,133 --> 00:22:35,733 All: hi, nat. 476 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:40,867 This is the best Chicken salad I've Ever had. 477 00:22:40,900 --> 00:22:43,933 - ever, right? - unbelievable. 478 00:22:43,967 --> 00:22:45,267 I don't know what The hell she does. 479 00:22:45,300 --> 00:22:47,267 My god, she makes Chicken salad, 480 00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:49,600 She wears brassieres, She does it all! 481 00:22:49,633 --> 00:22:51,667 Yeah, she's very happy With the bras, by the way. 482 00:22:51,700 --> 00:22:52,700 Really? 483 00:22:52,733 --> 00:22:55,767 Yeah. Nailed, Nailed the bra size. 484 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,533 - really? - I don't know how I do it. 485 00:22:58,567 --> 00:23:01,467 I've really got Some kind of talent For that, you know? 486 00:23:01,500 --> 00:23:04,100 Maybe you can get a job In a carnival somewhere. 487 00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:07,233 Yeah, it's true. I'm good at it. 488 00:23:07,267 --> 00:23:09,533 Yeah, have your own Little booth. 489 00:23:09,567 --> 00:23:13,367 "Step right up. You are... 490 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,167 ...36c!" 491 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:17,067 - huh? - yeah! 492 00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:18,867 - I know. - great. 493 00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:22,400 Of course, jesús freaked out About the whole thing. 494 00:23:22,433 --> 00:23:23,600 - really? - he quit, yeah. 495 00:23:23,633 --> 00:23:24,967 - he quit? - quit. 496 00:23:25,067 --> 00:23:27,467 - wow. - the whole thing about The bra, 497 00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:30,567 Talking about the bra, 498 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,900 Asking her to buy a bra. 499 00:23:32,933 --> 00:23:35,067 He told her to tell me To go fuck myself. 500 00:23:35,067 --> 00:23:37,167 - really? - yeah. 501 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,067 He's a fucking Nut job, this guy. 502 00:23:39,067 --> 00:23:41,367 So, did you replace The nail? 503 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,433 Did I replace the nail? 504 00:23:43,467 --> 00:23:44,533 I believe I have. 505 00:23:44,567 --> 00:23:47,333 Oh, okay, good. 506 00:23:47,367 --> 00:23:49,067 Your father-in-law's Gonna be very happy. 507 00:23:49,067 --> 00:23:53,067 Happy man. Your dad's happy, You father-in-law's happy, 508 00:23:53,067 --> 00:23:56,200 Unless, of course, any other Emergencies arise that require A nail to remedy it. 509 00:23:56,233 --> 00:23:57,400 You never know when You're gonna need a nail. 510 00:23:57,433 --> 00:24:00,100 - you never know. - you never know. 511 00:24:00,133 --> 00:24:04,267 ( loud crunch ) 512 00:24:04,300 --> 00:24:06,467 - what's the matter? - my tooth! 513 00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:06,933 What? 514 00:24:06,967 --> 00:24:08,900 Fuck! 515 00:24:08,933 --> 00:24:11,067 I think my tooth Fell out. 516 00:24:11,067 --> 00:24:12,667 Oh... 517 00:24:14,267 --> 00:24:17,133 Shit! My tooth fell out! 518 00:24:17,167 --> 00:24:19,867 - my tooth! - from a chicken salad Sandwich? 519 00:24:19,900 --> 00:24:23,100 What fuckin' idiot Put bones in a sandwich? 520 00:24:23,133 --> 00:24:24,933 I bit into a bone! 521 00:24:24,967 --> 00:24:27,933 There's bones In the chicken salad! 522 00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:30,133 Shit! 523 00:24:30,167 --> 00:24:32,433 Fuck! 524 00:24:34,167 --> 00:24:38,067 Quiet. What's that noise? 525 00:24:38,067 --> 00:24:39,633 - ( shoes squeaking ) - what? 526 00:24:39,667 --> 00:24:41,100 Shh. 527 00:24:41,133 --> 00:24:43,633 - ( shoes squeaking ) - sounds like your shoes. 528 00:24:46,067 --> 00:24:47,267 Jesús! 529 00:24:47,300 --> 00:24:49,733 ( squeaking ) 530 00:25:14,100 --> 00:25:15,800 I didn't see anybody. 531 00:25:23,067 --> 00:25:24,733 Fuck! 532 00:25:30,067 --> 00:25:32,267 ( shoes squeaking ) 533 00:25:42,100 --> 00:25:43,833 ( body thumps ) 534 00:25:43,867 --> 00:25:47,367 ( jesús whimpering ) 535 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,367 - what happened? - he just fell. 536 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:50,733 Fell? 537 00:25:50,767 --> 00:25:55,633 ( speaking In foreign language ) 538 00:25:57,633 --> 00:25:59,133 What is that language? 539 00:25:59,167 --> 00:26:00,767 I have no idea. 540 00:26:02,133 --> 00:26:04,600 What's this? There's something In his foot! 541 00:26:06,467 --> 00:26:08,567 Oh my god! 542 00:26:13,833 --> 00:26:16,133 The nail. 543 00:26:16,167 --> 00:26:17,933 I must have dropped it! 544 00:26:17,967 --> 00:26:21,567 It saved me! 545 00:26:24,133 --> 00:26:27,767 Come on, let's Get him some help. 546 00:27:03,467 --> 00:27:06,433 Very funny. 547 00:27:06,467 --> 00:27:08,700 I don't know what You're talking about. 548 00:27:13,167 --> 00:27:23,200 ( theme music playing ) 549 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:33,200 ( theme music playing ) 41185

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