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1
00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:09,933
Captions made possible by
Home box office, inc.
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00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:27,367
You know, you should get
One of these cordless vacuums !
3
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,900
Hey, mikey boy !
4
00:00:29,933 --> 00:00:32,467
What ?
5
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:33,200
What...
6
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:34,300
I'm talking.
7
00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:35,433
Yeah ?
8
00:00:35,467 --> 00:00:36,733
Sorry, I was just
Listening to music.
9
00:00:36,767 --> 00:00:38,067
You know what,
10
00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:39,933
You better get yourself
A new girlfriend, alright ?
11
00:00:39,967 --> 00:00:42,200
'cause this isn't gonna
Last that much longer.
12
00:00:42,233 --> 00:00:44,567
Yeah, well, whose fault
Is it that I don't have
13
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:46,000
A girlfriend anymore,
Larry ?
14
00:00:46,033 --> 00:00:47,800
Hey, I did you a favor,
The problem is
15
00:00:47,833 --> 00:00:49,967
It's hard to even fix you up,
You're so particular.
16
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,033
I would like to be with
An attractive woman, yes.
17
00:00:52,067 --> 00:00:53,233
What guy wouldn't ?
18
00:00:53,267 --> 00:00:54,833
Not only does she have
To be good-looking...
19
00:00:54,867 --> 00:00:56,967
But she's going out
With a blind man.
20
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:57,967
So ?
21
00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,667
She has to wait on
Hand and foot.
22
00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:01,067
So ?
23
00:01:01,067 --> 00:01:04,567
What matters to women is
What's on the inside of a fella.
24
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:07,533
Okay, first of all, you've got
Nothing inside of you, okay ?
25
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:08,867
Let me just
Make that clear.
26
00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:11,767
You are the most superficial man
I've ever met,
27
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,900
Blind or sighted, okay ?
28
00:01:13,933 --> 00:01:16,467
Be that as it may
It's just not that fair
29
00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:18,867
That people get to
See her and I don't.
30
00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:20,100
So you're saying
It's not fair that
31
00:01:20,133 --> 00:01:21,900
Everybody knows what
She looks like except you.
32
00:01:21,933 --> 00:01:23,900
Right,
It's not fair.
33
00:01:23,933 --> 00:01:25,100
Did you get
The corners ?
34
00:01:25,133 --> 00:01:26,500
Alright, well, you know
What I'm gonna do ?
35
00:01:26,533 --> 00:01:28,133
I'm gonna keep
My eyes and ears open.
36
00:01:28,167 --> 00:01:29,733
Maybe there's somebody
I can fix you up with.
37
00:01:29,767 --> 00:01:33,233
I am max bialystock,
First producer ever
38
00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:35,333
To do summer stock
In the winter.
39
00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:37,800
You've all heard of
Theater-in-the-round.
40
00:01:37,833 --> 00:01:41,067
You're looking at the man
Who invented theater-- aggh !
41
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:42,733
Aggh !
42
00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:53,633
Aggh !
43
00:02:06,733 --> 00:02:08,500
There he is.
44
00:02:08,533 --> 00:02:10,233
Honey, right here,
He's right here.
45
00:02:10,267 --> 00:02:11,633
I still can't see
Out of this side.
46
00:02:11,667 --> 00:02:13,233
Hey.
Hi, larry.
Hey !
47
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,633
Hi christine, hey.
48
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:15,533
You okay ?
49
00:02:15,567 --> 00:02:16,600
Yeah, thanks for
Coming to get me.
50
00:02:16,633 --> 00:02:17,467
Yeah, come on in.
51
00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:19,433
Look, I got
Severe tire damage.
52
00:02:19,467 --> 00:02:20,567
That sucks.
53
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,067
You know those signs,
It's true.
54
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,200
Awful.
55
00:02:23,233 --> 00:02:25,567
Hang on a second.
56
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,067
You got it ?
57
00:02:27,067 --> 00:02:27,733
No.
58
00:02:27,767 --> 00:02:29,500
Wait, just stop,
Stop.
59
00:02:29,533 --> 00:02:32,233
No, no, no, stop,
Don't do anything.
60
00:02:32,267 --> 00:02:33,133
I'm not doing
Anything.
61
00:02:33,167 --> 00:02:34,733
You got to,
Just stop.
62
00:02:34,767 --> 00:02:36,067
Okay, now.
63
00:02:36,067 --> 00:02:39,200
Okay.
64
00:02:40,767 --> 00:02:42,167
Oh, man.
65
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:43,900
You okay ?
66
00:02:43,933 --> 00:02:47,133
Yeah, my car, the gate came,
Crashed right down on it.
67
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,533
We're just taking
Christine to yoga class
68
00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:49,967
And then we'll go
To rehearsal, okay ?
69
00:02:50,067 --> 00:02:51,100
Oh, okay, yogurt.
70
00:02:51,133 --> 00:02:52,533
Hmm ?
71
00:02:52,567 --> 00:02:54,667
Is that a prefix,
You think, "Yo" ?
72
00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:57,233
Yo-ga, yo-gurt.
73
00:02:57,267 --> 00:03:00,067
Think that's related,
'gurt, 'ga.
74
00:03:00,067 --> 00:03:02,267
They're both
Healthy things.
75
00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:03,400
Yogurt, yoga.
76
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:04,533
I don't think so.
77
00:03:04,567 --> 00:03:06,233
Hey, I thought of
Some more yos'.
78
00:03:06,267 --> 00:03:07,867
Yodel, have you
Ever yodeled ?
79
00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:08,567
Bye, honey.
80
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,100
Yo-de-yo-de-le-de-hoo.
81
00:03:10,133 --> 00:03:12,067
Larry,
Great seeing you.
82
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:12,800
Bye, christine.
83
00:03:12,833 --> 00:03:13,933
Bye, guys.
84
00:03:13,967 --> 00:03:16,767
How about, what's his name,
From the movie, uh--
85
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,100
She can't hear you,
Why don't you come up front ?
86
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:22,167
Ah, I'm okay.
87
00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:24,367
Come on up front.
88
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,733
I'm good.
89
00:03:27,767 --> 00:03:29,533
Are you serious ?
90
00:03:29,567 --> 00:03:31,067
Yeah, why,
What's the difference ?
91
00:03:31,067 --> 00:03:33,367
Larry, I'm not gonna drive you
Around like I'm your chauffeur.
92
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:34,900
Get in the fucking
Front seat, alright ?
93
00:03:34,933 --> 00:03:36,400
You're not driving me around
Like I'm a chauffeur.
94
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:38,467
We're two minutes
From the rehearsal hall.
95
00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:40,700
You know what kind of person
Asks another person
96
00:03:40,733 --> 00:03:41,867
To drive them
Around like this ?
97
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:43,367
This is the kind of
Mentality is what's...
98
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,300
What kind of person is
So insecure that they have
99
00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:46,800
To make somebody move
Into the front seat
100
00:03:46,833 --> 00:03:48,733
So they don't think that they're
Driving somebody around ?
101
00:03:48,767 --> 00:03:50,533
No, the kind of person
That's so insecure that needs
102
00:03:50,567 --> 00:03:52,167
To be driven around
In the backseat,
103
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,667
Subliminally, that you
Need me to drive you around ?
104
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:57,067
Why do I have to leave my seat,
Go into the front seat ?
105
00:03:57,067 --> 00:03:59,133
Because I asked you to sit
In the front seat of my car
106
00:03:59,167 --> 00:04:01,800
And it's my car
And if it's my car,
I make the rules, okay ?
107
00:04:01,833 --> 00:04:03,100
Oh, you're
Making the rules ?
108
00:04:03,133 --> 00:04:04,533
We would have already
Been there already.
109
00:04:04,567 --> 00:04:06,633
Yes, very good.
110
00:04:06,667 --> 00:04:08,133
Oh, you can't drive with
Somebody in the backseat.
111
00:04:08,167 --> 00:04:09,633
You're such a baby.
112
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:12,067
You're a
Grown man baby.
113
00:04:12,067 --> 00:04:13,100
Are you saying
I'm a man-child ?
114
00:04:13,133 --> 00:04:14,700
I'm saying
You're a little baby.
115
00:04:14,733 --> 00:04:16,267
You know what,
Little baby wants a ride ?
116
00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:17,333
We'll give little
Baby a ride, okay ?
117
00:04:17,367 --> 00:04:18,633
You know what,
Little baby's wants to walk.
118
00:04:18,667 --> 00:04:19,833
No, no !
119
00:04:19,867 --> 00:04:21,933
I should have brought
My little baby seat for my--
120
00:04:21,967 --> 00:04:24,567
Mr. David,
Where to now ?
121
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,200
Where to now,
Mr. David ?
122
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:28,767
Sorry if I didn't read
The rules getting into the car.
123
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,867
Here we go,
Driving mr. Larry.
124
00:04:30,900 --> 00:04:32,567
Hey, take it easy, man.
125
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:33,867
You're the baby, larry.
126
00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:35,133
Oh, I'm the what ?
I'm the baby ?
127
00:04:35,167 --> 00:04:37,567
'cause I want to take a poll,
That makes me a baby.
128
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,533
No, you know what
Makes you a baby ?
129
00:04:39,567 --> 00:04:40,500
What ?
130
00:04:40,533 --> 00:04:41,633
The fact that you're
A big stupid baby.
131
00:04:41,667 --> 00:04:42,867
Oh, I'm a stupid.
132
00:04:42,900 --> 00:04:44,433
Look at this thing
You're walking around with.
133
00:04:44,467 --> 00:04:45,600
A big sack
On your back.
134
00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:47,833
It's my knapsack.
135
00:04:47,867 --> 00:04:53,933
* they were helpless,
They were hopeless *
136
00:04:53,967 --> 00:04:57,733
* then along came bialy
137
00:04:57,767 --> 00:05:00,067
Good, hmm, morning.
138
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:01,167
Hey, by the way...
139
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,633
Hey, by the way...
140
00:05:02,667 --> 00:05:05,333
Your little cousin finished all
The grape nuts this morning.
141
00:05:05,367 --> 00:05:07,200
You know what, he's a guest
In our house, we should just...
142
00:05:07,233 --> 00:05:08,700
How much longer,
By the way ?
143
00:05:08,733 --> 00:05:10,500
I don't know,
Three or four days.
144
00:05:10,533 --> 00:05:13,633
I don't know,
We'll see, we'll see.
145
00:05:13,667 --> 00:05:15,733
Alright.
146
00:05:15,767 --> 00:05:18,533
Hey, if it's okay with you,
I'm taking your car today.
147
00:05:18,567 --> 00:05:20,400
I got a meeting
With mel brooks.
148
00:05:20,433 --> 00:05:21,833
Oh, okay.
149
00:05:21,867 --> 00:05:23,067
And you know
What I'm thinking ?
150
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:24,967
Maybe while you're out,
You could get it washed.
151
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:26,667
It looks pretty clean,
By the way.
152
00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:27,500
Do you mind ?
153
00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:28,867
But it's
Totally clean.
154
00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:29,933
Good morning.
155
00:05:29,967 --> 00:05:31,633
Morning, I got
To show you something.
156
00:05:31,667 --> 00:05:32,300
A card trick.
157
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:34,100
Oh, a card trick, okay.
158
00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:35,500
Okay, you see
This deck ?
159
00:05:35,533 --> 00:05:36,800
Yeah.
160
00:05:36,833 --> 00:05:38,067
One deck.
161
00:05:38,067 --> 00:05:40,133
Now you have
To tell me
When to stop.
162
00:05:40,167 --> 00:05:41,533
Stop.
163
00:05:41,567 --> 00:05:45,733
Now this, mm, do do,
Do doop, is your card.
164
00:05:45,767 --> 00:05:47,067
Okay.
165
00:05:47,067 --> 00:05:49,467
I'd like you
To shuffle this, please.
166
00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:50,567
Alright.
167
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:54,100
And efficiently
And any way possible.
168
00:05:54,133 --> 00:05:56,067
Okay, fine,
It's all shuffled.
169
00:05:56,067 --> 00:06:01,267
Okay, and...
170
00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:03,067
This is your card.
171
00:06:03,067 --> 00:06:06,800
Wow !
172
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:07,800
Yeah.
173
00:06:07,833 --> 00:06:09,733
How'd you do that ?
174
00:06:09,767 --> 00:06:12,500
I'm sorry,
I can't tell you.
175
00:06:12,533 --> 00:06:13,800
Sorry.
176
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:16,467
Come on, stewart,
How'd you do the trick ?
177
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:19,633
No, magicians don't tell people
How they do their tricks.
178
00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:21,400
Yeah, well, you're
Not really a magician.
179
00:06:21,433 --> 00:06:22,833
Oh, yeah, I am.
180
00:06:22,867 --> 00:06:24,600
What, 'cause you do one trick,
That makes you a magician ?
181
00:06:24,633 --> 00:06:26,067
Didn't I trick you ?
182
00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:30,667
Were you a magician before
You knew how to do that trick ?
183
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:31,833
Mmm, not really.
184
00:06:31,867 --> 00:06:34,100
Well, that's, who taught
You how to do the trick ?
185
00:06:34,133 --> 00:06:35,100
A magician.
186
00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:36,833
Okay, so you
Weren't a magician.
187
00:06:36,867 --> 00:06:39,500
A magician taught you
How to do the trick.
188
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:40,167
Mm-hmm.
189
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,067
Right ?Yeah.
190
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,967
Okay, so I'm not
A magician.
191
00:06:43,067 --> 00:06:45,300
Now you're a magician,
So you teach me how to do it.
192
00:06:45,333 --> 00:06:47,733
I can't, just 'cause
You said, I am a magician.
193
00:06:47,767 --> 00:06:48,833
I can't teach you.
194
00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:51,567
You didn't know that trick
Before the magician
195
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,533
Taught it to you,
Right ?
196
00:06:52,567 --> 00:06:53,433
Yeah.
197
00:06:53,467 --> 00:06:55,167
So why did
The magician tell you ?
198
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,067
He can tell that
I'm a magician.
199
00:06:57,067 --> 00:06:58,333
Well, you can tell
That I'm a magician.
200
00:06:58,367 --> 00:07:01,267
But I'm a magician,
Just naturally a magician.
201
00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:02,233
That's what
You're saying.
202
00:07:02,267 --> 00:07:03,800
I'm saying,
I'm naturally a magician.
203
00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:05,700
But you don't
Know any tricks.
204
00:07:05,733 --> 00:07:06,967
And you're just not.
205
00:07:07,067 --> 00:07:09,067
I mean, see, because
I'm a magician,
206
00:07:09,067 --> 00:07:10,500
If you were
Naturally a magician,
207
00:07:10,533 --> 00:07:12,167
I'd feel that you were
Naturally a magician.
208
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:13,333
Are you gonna
Tell me this trick ?
209
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:15,633
No.
210
00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:17,100
Magicians don't
Reveal their secrets.
211
00:07:17,133 --> 00:07:19,067
Fine, I got to go.
212
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,133
You guys are
A lot alike.
213
00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:27,133
Yeah, except
He's not a magician.
214
00:07:27,167 --> 00:07:28,333
Hey, let me
Ask you something.
215
00:07:28,367 --> 00:07:29,400
Huh ?
216
00:07:29,433 --> 00:07:30,700
You going to that
Halloween party ?
217
00:07:30,733 --> 00:07:31,567
Of course.
218
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,200
You are ?
219
00:07:33,233 --> 00:07:34,400
Yeah, we're
Taking you.
220
00:07:34,433 --> 00:07:36,200
You gonna
Wear a costume ?
221
00:07:36,233 --> 00:07:38,333
Of course I'm wearing a costume.
It's a halloween party.
222
00:07:38,367 --> 00:07:39,867
I'm not gonna
Wear a costume.
223
00:07:41,633 --> 00:07:43,567
Oh, I almost
Didn't tell you.
224
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:47,067
So, last night,
At about 11:30,
225
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:49,500
I go to the bathroom
To, uh, you know.
226
00:07:49,533 --> 00:07:50,633
Oh, really ?
227
00:07:50,667 --> 00:07:51,733
Yeah.
228
00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:53,133
You got the energy
For that at 11:30 at night ?
229
00:07:53,167 --> 00:07:54,533
I always have
The energy, yeah.
230
00:07:54,567 --> 00:07:55,667
Can of hurrah.
231
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:57,067
Can of hurrah.
232
00:07:57,100 --> 00:08:00,300
So I'm thinking about,
Jenna jameson, you know ?
233
00:08:00,333 --> 00:08:01,333
Who's she ?
234
00:08:01,367 --> 00:08:03,167
A porn star,
Way hot.
235
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,733
And, um, all of
A sudden, she pops out.
236
00:08:05,767 --> 00:08:07,600
You know who pops in, you're
Not gonna believe this.
237
00:08:07,633 --> 00:08:08,833
Cheryl.
238
00:08:08,867 --> 00:08:10,567
Can you believe that ?
239
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:11,867
My wife ?
240
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:13,167
Cheryl, yeah.
241
00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:19,633
What do you mean,
You used...
242
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:22,133
Yeah, she was there
I couldn't believe it.
243
00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:25,433
Boom, she was there,
You can't control who pops in.
244
00:08:25,467 --> 00:08:26,367
She pops in.
245
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:27,267
She pops in ?
246
00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:28,367
Well, why didn't
You pop her out ?
247
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,533
I tried popping her out,
She wouldn't pop out.
248
00:08:30,567 --> 00:08:32,067
What, she insisted
On staying ?
249
00:08:32,067 --> 00:08:33,200
Not exactly.
250
00:08:33,233 --> 00:08:34,733
I want to be here
With you, jeff ?
251
00:08:34,767 --> 00:08:36,067
I couldn't pop her out,
I'm not in control of it.
252
00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:37,667
Besides, my bench
Is kind of thin.
253
00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:38,867
I don't really have
A lot going on there.
254
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:39,867
Oh, your bench
Is thin ?
255
00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:41,233
What, is she
On your team now ?
256
00:08:41,267 --> 00:08:43,333
No, she's not on my team,
She popped in.
257
00:08:43,367 --> 00:08:45,400
What the hell are you
Using my wife for ?
258
00:08:45,433 --> 00:08:46,600
I thought
You'd be flattered.
259
00:08:46,633 --> 00:08:48,067
Flattered ?
I'm fucking nauseous.
260
00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:49,400
What, nauseous,
Why'd you be nauseous ?
261
00:08:49,433 --> 00:08:50,633
It's... Ugh.
262
00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:53,900
You, my wife, I just
Don't like the whole idea.
263
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:55,067
It didn't
Really happen.
264
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:59,467
I know, but it feels,
But you used, in your mind.
265
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:01,267
Okay.
266
00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:01,933
Alright.
267
00:09:01,967 --> 00:09:02,667
Do me a favor,
Okay ?
268
00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:04,333
What ?
269
00:09:04,367 --> 00:09:07,467
I don't want you using
My wife anymore for that, okay ?
270
00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:09,800
I'll never intentionally
Use your wife for that.
271
00:09:09,833 --> 00:09:10,767
What do you mean,
"Intentionally" ?
272
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,200
You can't control
Who pops in.
273
00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:13,733
Yeah, okay.
274
00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:15,367
Next time she pops in,
275
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,200
Pick your pants up
And get out of the room.
276
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:23,100
Hello.
277
00:09:23,133 --> 00:09:24,367
How you doing ?
278
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:25,633
Very well,
Thank you.
279
00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:26,867
Good, how's the adoption
Coming, good ?
280
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,667
Uh, yes.
281
00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:30,267
It's going very well,
Thank you.
282
00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:31,767
Great, great, great.
283
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,833
Wait till you get the kid, it's
Gonna change your whole life.
284
00:09:33,867 --> 00:09:36,800
"Get the kid" ?
285
00:09:36,833 --> 00:09:40,933
Mel will be with you
In just a second,
286
00:09:40,967 --> 00:09:42,067
You can go on back.
287
00:09:42,067 --> 00:09:43,500
Okay.
288
00:09:43,533 --> 00:09:46,933
How you doing ?
289
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,133
You're carrying on
Like it's a funeral.
290
00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:54,833
But that's what
It is, to me.
291
00:09:54,867 --> 00:09:56,433
It's a decision.
292
00:09:56,467 --> 00:09:56,933
Hey.
293
00:09:56,967 --> 00:09:57,767
Hey.
294
00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:59,133
Larry, jeff,
Come in, come in.
295
00:09:59,167 --> 00:10:00,567
Close the door, please.
296
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,833
Do you have
Any complaints ?
297
00:10:02,867 --> 00:10:04,567
I mean, how's it
Going for you ?
298
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:08,900
I've got one tiny thing,
Just one small issue.
299
00:10:08,933 --> 00:10:12,233
I'm not happy with the toilet
Paper in the rehearsal hall.
300
00:10:12,267 --> 00:10:13,767
You're gonna
Get the softest,
301
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,200
Most beautiful toilet paper,
You'll be so happy
302
00:10:16,233 --> 00:10:18,667
You'll be hanging around
The toilet everyday.
303
00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:19,667
You'll get me
The softer rolls ?
304
00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:20,133
You got it !
305
00:10:20,167 --> 00:10:21,467
Alright.
306
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:23,167
Mel, can we get to why you
Asked larry to come here ?
307
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,500
Oh, yeah, we have
A little problem.
308
00:10:25,533 --> 00:10:26,400
Yeah, right.
309
00:10:26,433 --> 00:10:30,200
Ben stiller
Is gone.
310
00:10:30,233 --> 00:10:32,633
He is history,
He has left us.
311
00:10:32,667 --> 00:10:37,867
He came to me and said,
It's either me or larry david.
312
00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:39,300
Make up your mind.
313
00:10:39,333 --> 00:10:43,267
Well, you know, I went right
Larry david, stiller out.
314
00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:45,833
He complained about some things,
I don't know, minor stuff.
315
00:10:45,867 --> 00:10:46,967
You're kidding.
316
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,867
No, we're not kidding,
Ben stiller quit.
317
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:50,600
You wouldn't sit
In the front of a car.
318
00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:52,800
You couldn't move into
The front of the car ?
319
00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:54,500
I mean, I have
To move up to,
320
00:10:54,533 --> 00:10:56,367
We were two minutes away
From where we were going.
321
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,267
They were two minutes away
From where they were going.
322
00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:01,633
At ben stiller's birthday party,
You didn't bring a present.
323
00:11:01,667 --> 00:11:02,833
He said, no gifts.
324
00:11:02,867 --> 00:11:05,833
They always say no gift,
But everybody brings a gift.
325
00:11:05,867 --> 00:11:08,933
So, you're at the show,
You won't shake his hand.
326
00:11:08,967 --> 00:11:10,433
I happen to have
A small phobia
327
00:11:10,467 --> 00:11:13,067
About shaking people's hands
Who have snot on it, that's all.
328
00:11:13,067 --> 00:11:14,900
It's a small thing,
It's a teeny little phobia.
329
00:11:14,933 --> 00:11:17,067
And at the birthday party,
Everybody sang happy birthday.
330
00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:18,633
I don't like
The happy birthday song.
331
00:11:18,667 --> 00:11:19,600
I don't sing
The happy birthday song.
332
00:11:19,633 --> 00:11:21,133
He never sings
The happy birthday song.
333
00:11:21,167 --> 00:11:23,467
I don't like it either,
I hate the happy birthday song.
334
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:24,867
It's a trite,
Cliché song.
335
00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:25,967
I hate it.
336
00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:27,567
Did you hear this thing
With the shish kabob ?
337
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:28,633
Okay, you know
About that ?
338
00:11:28,667 --> 00:11:29,867
That's painful.
339
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:31,400
He's stroking,
Showing a stroke...
340
00:11:31,433 --> 00:11:32,533
Oh, it was
An accident.
341
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:33,567
Right into
The kid's eye.
342
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,567
By the way,
Can I say something ?
343
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:36,267
Please.
344
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:37,333
Mel ?
345
00:11:37,367 --> 00:11:39,267
Blessing
In disguise.
346
00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:41,700
Okay, he's a wonderful actor,
He's a fantastic actor.
347
00:11:41,733 --> 00:11:44,467
I don't think he belongs
In musical comedy, frankly.
348
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:46,400
It's gonna work out,
It's gonna be fine.
349
00:11:46,433 --> 00:11:47,767
Everything will
Work out beautifully.
350
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,067
Alright.
351
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:51,733
So, uh, so you'll work on
The toilet paper thing ?
352
00:11:51,767 --> 00:11:52,767
Done, done.
353
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,967
Pink, pink, blue, soft,
Anything you want.
354
00:11:55,067 --> 00:11:55,933
You got it,
I love it.
355
00:11:55,967 --> 00:11:57,267
Blue, I don't
Know about blue.
356
00:11:57,300 --> 00:12:01,567
Listen, you know, don't
Worry about ben stiller.
357
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:04,833
In my mind, I've got a couple
Of wonderful people and,
358
00:12:04,867 --> 00:12:06,533
You know, what do
You think of, uh,
359
00:12:06,567 --> 00:12:08,067
Do you know
David schwimmer ?
360
00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:09,333
Sure, yeah
The guy from friends ?
361
00:12:09,367 --> 00:12:10,533
Yeah.
362
00:12:10,567 --> 00:12:11,533
Now think about that guy,
Think about that.
363
00:12:11,567 --> 00:12:14,433
He can move well,
Sings well.
364
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,567
And we'd save a little money
On the marquee.
365
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,233
Larry david schwimmer,
Get it ?
366
00:12:18,267 --> 00:12:19,767
Okay, bad joke.
367
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,133
I think that's a good idea,
I like that.
368
00:12:21,167 --> 00:12:22,933
Bye, fellas,
Thank you.
369
00:12:22,967 --> 00:12:24,267
Good to see you.
370
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:25,267
Bye bye.
371
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,667
God bless, keep up
The good work.
372
00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:30,433
Mel, you're making
A terrible mistake.
373
00:12:30,467 --> 00:12:32,833
I'm telling you, there's
Something wrong with this guy.
374
00:12:32,867 --> 00:12:34,267
He's mentally
Challenged.
375
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:37,833
There is something about
This middle-aged bald guy
376
00:12:37,867 --> 00:12:39,100
That is thrilling !
377
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:48,700
Car wash.
378
00:12:48,733 --> 00:12:50,067
Come on.
379
00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:51,100
We got one.
380
00:12:51,133 --> 00:12:54,133
Good, good, alright.
381
00:12:54,167 --> 00:12:56,100
10 dollars.
382
00:12:56,133 --> 00:12:57,100
10 dollars.
383
00:12:57,133 --> 00:12:58,133
Okay.
384
00:12:58,167 --> 00:13:00,933
We're for the langely center
It's a charity
385
00:13:00,967 --> 00:13:03,333
And it's where
We all belong.
386
00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:04,167
Okay.
387
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,400
10 dollars.
388
00:13:05,433 --> 00:13:06,867
Here you go.
10 dollars.
389
00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:10,533
Everybody's seeing I'm
Putting it in my pocket, okay.
390
00:13:10,567 --> 00:13:12,233
Nothing's coming off this.
391
00:13:15,833 --> 00:13:19,500
( car horn honking )
392
00:13:22,167 --> 00:13:23,600
Your foot's wet
And you're on...
393
00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:24,533
Oh, sorry.
394
00:13:24,567 --> 00:13:26,233
You're on the seat.
395
00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:33,967
Could you close the door 'cause
You're spraying it over inside.
396
00:13:37,367 --> 00:13:38,767
It looks pretty
Clean in here.
397
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,267
Ah, it's dusty.
398
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:41,667
You're making a mess.
399
00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:44,067
You're making it
A bigger mess than it was.
400
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:48,500
I think
It's okay now.
401
00:13:48,533 --> 00:13:50,733
No, it ain't looking
Like it's supposed to.
402
00:13:50,767 --> 00:13:52,067
I guess I'll
Get going now.
403
00:13:52,067 --> 00:13:55,633
No, no, just give me, like,
One more minute, okay ?
404
00:14:09,333 --> 00:14:11,467
Fuck !
405
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:18,100
Well, guess what,
I'm out of gas.
406
00:14:18,133 --> 00:14:20,167
You left no gas
In the car.
407
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,700
How do you drive
Around like that ?
408
00:14:22,733 --> 00:14:24,733
I don't know.
409
00:14:24,767 --> 00:14:26,500
And I'm nowhere
Near a gas station.
410
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,767
I got to pee so bad.
411
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,067
You know what ?
412
00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:32,400
Where's my sunblock ?
413
00:14:32,433 --> 00:14:34,833
I'll bet you those guys
Took my sunblock.
414
00:14:34,867 --> 00:14:36,367
I was at a gas station,
415
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,133
Yeah, 'cause I got
Your car washed.
416
00:14:38,167 --> 00:14:40,933
You know what,
I can't even talk.
417
00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:43,700
I have to go to the bathroom
So bad, I'm dying.
418
00:14:43,733 --> 00:14:45,867
Alright, goodbye.
419
00:15:08,133 --> 00:15:08,933
( knocking )
420
00:15:08,967 --> 00:15:12,400
Hi, sir.
421
00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:13,733
I'm so sorry
To bother you.
422
00:15:13,767 --> 00:15:15,700
I know this is gonna
Sound a little crazy,
423
00:15:15,733 --> 00:15:21,333
But my car ran out of gas
And I need to use a bathroom.
424
00:15:21,367 --> 00:15:22,333
Is it possible just--
425
00:15:22,367 --> 00:15:23,233
No !
426
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,900
Would it be possible, I can
Just get in for two minutes ?
427
00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:36,333
Why would I let
A stranger in my house ?
428
00:15:36,367 --> 00:15:38,067
Well, I'm not, you know,
I'm not really a stranger.
429
00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:39,667
I did the seinfeld show on,
I've done...
430
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:46,700
Hello, how are you ?
431
00:15:46,733 --> 00:15:49,500
You know, I was driving by
And I couldn't help, but--
432
00:15:55,933 --> 00:15:57,333
I beg you--
433
00:15:57,367 --> 00:15:59,567
I'd like to make
An offer on your house.
434
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,367
10 bucks for a pee.
435
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:10,867
Oh my god.
436
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:12,467
May I help you ?
437
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:15,767
My car is
Out of gas
438
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,200
And I'm just desperate
To use a bathroom.
439
00:16:18,233 --> 00:16:19,600
Come in,
Please come in.
440
00:16:19,633 --> 00:16:21,067
Be my invited guest,
Come in.
441
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,067
You're kidding ?
442
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:24,667
Please come in,
Pleased do come in.
443
00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:25,633
( toilet flushing )
444
00:16:25,667 --> 00:16:27,833
Whoa !
445
00:16:27,867 --> 00:16:28,700
Woo !
446
00:16:28,733 --> 00:16:31,533
( laughing )
Refreshed ?
447
00:16:31,567 --> 00:16:33,133
That was so nice
Of you to do that.
448
00:16:33,167 --> 00:16:34,767
And can I just
Say something ?
449
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:35,867
If you're ever
In my neighborhood
450
00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:38,133
And you need to use
A toilet, I'm your guy.
451
00:16:38,167 --> 00:16:39,867
Oh, okay, I will
Remember this.
452
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:41,067
Alright.
453
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:43,433
Is there anything else
I can do for you ?
454
00:16:43,467 --> 00:16:45,100
I hate
To impose again.
455
00:16:45,133 --> 00:16:46,133
No, no, no.
456
00:16:46,167 --> 00:16:47,467
You just gave me
An enormous favor.
457
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:49,333
You got room for
Another one, actually ?
458
00:16:49,367 --> 00:16:50,267
I am very curious,
Please.
459
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:51,900
Really ?
460
00:16:51,933 --> 00:16:55,167
I need to get gas
For my car.
461
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,167
I got to walk somewhere
To a station...
462
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:57,600
Gas.
463
00:16:57,633 --> 00:16:58,567
Gasoline.
464
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,333
I have a refinery
In the back.
465
00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:02,333
I'm joking !
466
00:17:02,367 --> 00:17:04,733
I would be pleased
To take you to get gas.
467
00:17:04,767 --> 00:17:05,667
That is unbelievable.
468
00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:07,067
My wife left me
With no gas.
469
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:07,767
She does it
All the time.
470
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,067
Oh, you are married.
471
00:17:09,067 --> 00:17:09,667
Yes.
472
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:10,900
That's a disappointment.
473
00:17:10,933 --> 00:17:13,233
I thought maybe I'd
Finally met someone.
474
00:17:13,267 --> 00:17:14,633
Well, you don't have
A man in your life ?
475
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:15,600
I don't.
476
00:17:15,633 --> 00:17:17,400
Yeah, we're a very
Superficial people.
477
00:17:17,433 --> 00:17:19,500
We like to know what
Women look like so...
478
00:17:19,533 --> 00:17:21,700
It's gonna be tough
For you when the...
479
00:17:21,733 --> 00:17:23,500
Hmm.
480
00:17:23,533 --> 00:17:25,533
What, what is it ?
481
00:17:25,567 --> 00:17:27,833
I think I got
A guy for you.
482
00:17:27,867 --> 00:17:29,233
A blind date ?
483
00:17:29,267 --> 00:17:30,367
Literally.
484
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:31,933
Alright, look,
I'll tell you what.
485
00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:34,267
You'll take me,
We'll go get some gas, okay ?
486
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:35,267
Of course.
487
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,700
Alright, and I'll tell
You all about it.
488
00:17:36,733 --> 00:17:37,833
I cannot wait.
489
00:17:40,067 --> 00:17:41,467
Hey, haboos.
490
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:42,100
Yeah ?
491
00:17:42,133 --> 00:17:43,067
You hungry ?
492
00:17:43,067 --> 00:17:44,267
Yeah.
493
00:17:44,300 --> 00:17:46,267
I've worked up
A little appetite.
494
00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:47,500
You want to get
A little lunch ?
495
00:17:47,533 --> 00:17:49,833
Why not ?
496
00:17:49,867 --> 00:17:51,967
Ever had delicatessen ?
497
00:17:52,067 --> 00:17:55,733
So the dog digs up a bra
But it's really too much.
498
00:17:55,767 --> 00:17:57,367
Oh larry,
That's funny.
499
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:58,067
You like that ?
500
00:17:58,067 --> 00:17:59,567
Yeah.
501
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,333
Oh this place
Is beautiful.
502
00:18:01,367 --> 00:18:04,200
Hey, it's the guys
From the car wash.
503
00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:07,900
Hey guys.
504
00:18:07,933 --> 00:18:08,633
Hello.
505
00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:09,400
Hello.
Hello.
506
00:18:09,433 --> 00:18:10,533
Remember me ?
507
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:12,200
Yeah, the guy with
The really clean car.
508
00:18:12,233 --> 00:18:13,133
Yeah.
509
00:18:13,167 --> 00:18:14,300
The blue car.
510
00:18:14,333 --> 00:18:16,433
You guys did quite
A good job on that car,
511
00:18:16,467 --> 00:18:17,367
Thank you very much.
512
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,800
No problem,
We had fun cleaning it.
513
00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:21,067
How did you
Do today ?
514
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:22,100
Pretty good.
515
00:18:22,133 --> 00:18:23,333
Yeah ?
516
00:18:23,367 --> 00:18:24,800
We did good today.
517
00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:25,833
How much money
Did you make ?
518
00:18:25,867 --> 00:18:27,800
We made $100,
We had 10 cars.
519
00:18:27,833 --> 00:18:31,067
Wow, pretty good,
Congratulations.
520
00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:32,833
Good, good.
521
00:18:32,867 --> 00:18:34,933
Hey, you guys, let me
Ask you a question.
522
00:18:34,967 --> 00:18:37,800
Did you happen to see
Any, uh, sunblock
523
00:18:37,833 --> 00:18:40,400
On the passenger
Seat in my car ?
524
00:18:40,433 --> 00:18:41,067
I don't know.
525
00:18:41,067 --> 00:18:43,067
I didn't see any.
526
00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:45,833
I never saw any
Sunblock at all.
527
00:18:45,867 --> 00:18:46,700
Is that right ?
528
00:18:46,733 --> 00:18:48,900
No, huh,
Didn't see any ?
529
00:18:48,933 --> 00:18:51,867
I didn't
See nothing.
530
00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:52,933
No ?
531
00:18:52,967 --> 00:18:54,567
I'll tell you why
I asked because
532
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,900
There was some sunblock
When I drove in and...
533
00:18:56,933 --> 00:18:58,100
No there wasn't.
534
00:18:58,133 --> 00:19:00,533
The sunblock
Was missing.
535
00:19:00,567 --> 00:19:03,867
I didn't,
I didn't know that.
536
00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:06,933
I got who knows,
Who knows ?
537
00:19:06,967 --> 00:19:10,133
We know nothing
About sunblock.
538
00:19:10,167 --> 00:19:11,300
Okay, I was just...
539
00:19:11,333 --> 00:19:13,967
You want to sit down and
Have some food with us ?
540
00:19:14,067 --> 00:19:15,167
It's really good.
541
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,467
Sure, okay.
542
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:17,667
This is
My friend haboos.
543
00:19:17,700 --> 00:19:18,267
Oh, hello.
544
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:18,900
I'm larry.
545
00:19:18,933 --> 00:19:21,800
I'm stanley.
546
00:19:21,833 --> 00:19:25,367
Now weren't there, um,
Weren't there four of you ?
547
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:29,733
Uh, no,
Not recently.
548
00:19:29,767 --> 00:19:33,333
No, at the car wash
There were four of you.
549
00:19:33,367 --> 00:19:36,067
No, oh you mean the guy
That was holding the card.
550
00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:36,833
There was four.
551
00:19:36,867 --> 00:19:37,933
Yeah, but it, no.
552
00:19:37,967 --> 00:19:39,400
Yeah, he must
Have gone home.
553
00:19:39,433 --> 00:19:40,500
He must have
Gone home ?
554
00:19:40,533 --> 00:19:43,067
Well, you don't know
If he went home or not ?
555
00:19:43,067 --> 00:19:44,667
Um, I just...
556
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:48,833
I don't know why.
557
00:19:48,867 --> 00:19:51,733
Huh, alright.
558
00:19:51,767 --> 00:19:54,567
( laughing )
559
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,267
I think we know what
Happened to the sunblock.
560
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:58,267
We lied !
561
00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:00,400
Yeah, we lied !
562
00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:03,500
This is really
Good tuna salad.
563
00:20:03,533 --> 00:20:04,433
It's good ?
564
00:20:04,467 --> 00:20:07,933
You want some
Haboos, huh ?
565
00:20:11,933 --> 00:20:14,500
I'm gonna get this
Dry cleaned for you.
566
00:20:14,533 --> 00:20:16,100
I can't do that,
Larry.
567
00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:17,367
I'm gonna get it
Dry cleaned for you.
568
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:18,467
No, I don't mind.
569
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:19,467
Haboos ?
570
00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:20,867
I insist.
571
00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:22,133
I'm gonna dry clean
It for you.
572
00:20:22,167 --> 00:20:24,267
Okay, larry, okay.
573
00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:26,000
Uh, I'm so sorry.
574
00:20:26,033 --> 00:20:27,533
Hey, I got
A good joke.
575
00:20:27,567 --> 00:20:30,433
An arab, a jew
And an asian fellow,
576
00:20:30,467 --> 00:20:33,833
Walk into
A bar, okay ?
577
00:20:33,867 --> 00:20:35,100
( laughing )
578
00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:37,233
I didn't tell
The joke yet.
579
00:20:37,267 --> 00:20:38,967
Wait 'til I
Tell the joke.
580
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,167
I'm getting a
Corned beef on rye.
581
00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:51,033
( laughing )
582
00:21:04,067 --> 00:21:05,467
So what's her name ?
583
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:06,867
Haboos.
584
00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:08,233
Hello, haboos.
585
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,467
I mean, it's quite amazing
When you think about it.
586
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:13,100
Nobody knows what
She looks like, okay ?
587
00:21:13,133 --> 00:21:13,567
Nobody.
588
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:14,933
It's great.
589
00:21:14,967 --> 00:21:16,767
Everybody's in
The same boat as you.
590
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,733
You have leveled the playing
Field for me, larry.
591
00:21:18,767 --> 00:21:21,833
Nobody will ever know
What she looks like.
592
00:21:21,867 --> 00:21:23,233
Everybody's blind now.
593
00:21:23,267 --> 00:21:25,067
That's exactly
What it is.
594
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:28,067
What an idea,
That's just great.
595
00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:29,067
Thank you.
596
00:21:29,067 --> 00:21:30,167
Just kind of
Fell in my lap.
597
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:31,600
Thank you,
Thank you, thank you.
598
00:21:31,633 --> 00:21:33,300
When can
We do this ?
599
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:35,467
It just goes to show,
If you gotta pee someplace,
Knock on a door.
600
00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:36,533
You never know
What could happen.
601
00:21:36,567 --> 00:21:38,267
I'm intrigued,
Let's do it.
602
00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:40,133
By the way, you know,
I have to go with you,
603
00:21:40,167 --> 00:21:41,267
Like as a
Chaperon thing.
604
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,167
What ?
605
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,067
I'm sorry,
They require a chaperon.
606
00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:46,133
A chaperon.
607
00:21:46,167 --> 00:21:47,867
Alright, good,
So I'm gonna call her.
608
00:21:47,900 --> 00:21:49,533
You know, there's
No downside here.
609
00:21:49,567 --> 00:21:51,667
Really, there's none,
It's perfect.
610
00:21:51,700 --> 00:21:53,333
It's perfect,
Call her up.
611
00:21:53,367 --> 00:21:54,667
She's quite a muslim.
612
00:21:59,633 --> 00:22:00,700
Tell me when to stop.
613
00:22:02,067 --> 00:22:04,067
Stop.
614
00:22:04,067 --> 00:22:07,100
Why do you
Do it fast ?
615
00:22:07,133 --> 00:22:09,067
Well, actually
You were too fast.
616
00:22:09,067 --> 00:22:10,200
Oh, I was too fast ?
617
00:22:10,233 --> 00:22:11,567
Yeah.
618
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,100
Maybe I'm just not stopping
Where you want me to stop.
619
00:22:13,133 --> 00:22:13,633
No.
620
00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:14,233
Yeah.
621
00:22:14,267 --> 00:22:14,833
No, really, no.
622
00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:15,800
I think so.
623
00:22:15,833 --> 00:22:17,933
I think I got
A little something here.
624
00:22:17,967 --> 00:22:21,400
You're stopping on the card,
You know where the card is,
625
00:22:21,433 --> 00:22:24,433
And that's, when I say stop,
That's the trick, right ?
626
00:22:24,467 --> 00:22:25,467
Is that the trick ?
627
00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:29,733
No, it's not,
This is your card.
628
00:22:29,767 --> 00:22:33,133
Okay.
629
00:22:40,300 --> 00:22:43,933
You listen to me,
Superman.
630
00:22:43,967 --> 00:22:45,833
I want that trick.
631
00:22:45,867 --> 00:22:49,400
No can do.
632
00:22:49,433 --> 00:22:51,833
I apologize, but you
Just can't do anything.
633
00:22:51,867 --> 00:22:52,933
You're not
A magician.
634
00:22:52,967 --> 00:22:55,133
You're not a magician
Either, stewart.
635
00:22:55,167 --> 00:22:55,933
Yeah, I am.
636
00:22:55,967 --> 00:22:56,867
No, you're not.
637
00:22:56,900 --> 00:22:58,233
Mm-hmm.
638
00:22:58,267 --> 00:22:59,833
'cause you know one trick,
That makes you a magician ?
639
00:22:59,867 --> 00:23:02,433
That's not a magician,
One trick's not a magician.
640
00:23:02,467 --> 00:23:03,567
Yeah, it is.
641
00:23:07,433 --> 00:23:10,333
You going
Trick-or-treating tonight ?
642
00:23:10,367 --> 00:23:12,400
Mm-hmm.
643
00:23:12,433 --> 00:23:15,067
I'm taking half
That candy.
644
00:23:15,100 --> 00:23:17,367
Don't say
A word to her.
645
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:21,067
You put it in the pantry,
I'll divide it up, understand ?
646
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:23,133
Okay.
647
00:23:23,167 --> 00:23:23,867
Okay ?
648
00:23:23,900 --> 00:23:24,400
Yeah.
649
00:23:24,433 --> 00:23:26,133
Now listen.
650
00:23:26,167 --> 00:23:27,500
I got some friends
Coming over this weekend
651
00:23:27,533 --> 00:23:30,267
To watch the ball game,
So be nice to them.
652
00:23:30,300 --> 00:23:31,967
Capisce ?
653
00:23:32,067 --> 00:23:32,733
Capisce.
654
00:23:32,767 --> 00:23:34,567
( cheryl )
Larry ?
655
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:36,800
Coming, honey.
656
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:39,867
Is that leather
Or pleather, or ...
657
00:23:39,900 --> 00:23:41,833
Vinyl, and it's
Hot as hell.
658
00:23:41,867 --> 00:23:43,067
I'm sweating
Like a pig.
659
00:23:43,100 --> 00:23:45,533
Well, you look good.
660
00:23:45,567 --> 00:23:46,233
Look at this.
661
00:23:46,267 --> 00:23:48,100
Lar, happy halloween.
662
00:23:48,133 --> 00:23:49,067
What do you think ?
663
00:23:49,067 --> 00:23:50,133
Oh my god.
664
00:23:50,167 --> 00:23:51,067
Huh ?
665
00:23:51,067 --> 00:23:52,067
Doesn't she
Look great ?
666
00:23:52,067 --> 00:23:53,700
Is this great ?
667
00:23:53,733 --> 00:23:56,100
Oh, look at andy divine
Over here.
668
00:23:56,133 --> 00:23:58,533
Yes I am, sheriff.
669
00:23:58,567 --> 00:24:00,733
Now you look hot.
670
00:24:00,767 --> 00:24:02,167
Thank you, susie.
671
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:03,267
What are you wearing ?
672
00:24:03,300 --> 00:24:05,567
What is this,
No outfit, no costume ?
673
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:06,233
No.
674
00:24:06,267 --> 00:24:07,700
Okay, you know what ?
675
00:24:07,733 --> 00:24:08,600
What ?
676
00:24:08,633 --> 00:24:09,933
I want you to change
Your costume.
677
00:24:09,967 --> 00:24:10,833
What ?
678
00:24:10,867 --> 00:24:11,867
I don't like
That costume.
679
00:24:11,900 --> 00:24:12,933
Why ?
680
00:24:12,967 --> 00:24:14,467
I have my reasons,
You got another costume ?
681
00:24:14,500 --> 00:24:16,833
Larry, that costume
Is gorgeous, you're wrong.
682
00:24:16,867 --> 00:24:20,233
Thank you, I spent an hour
Getting ready for this.
683
00:24:20,267 --> 00:24:22,067
I don't have
Anything else to wear.
684
00:24:22,067 --> 00:24:24,067
Not so,
Excuse me.
685
00:24:24,100 --> 00:24:25,733
I've got just
The thing.
686
00:24:25,767 --> 00:24:27,600
You have the figure for that,
And nobody else...
687
00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:29,067
I don't know what's
Wrong with him.
688
00:24:29,067 --> 00:24:29,867
I have the figure
For that, also.
689
00:24:29,900 --> 00:24:30,700
Oh, in your dreams.
690
00:24:30,733 --> 00:24:31,800
Haboos's burka.
691
00:24:31,833 --> 00:24:33,367
Just back from
The dry cleaners.
692
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,067
You're going as an
Islamic fundamentalist.
693
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,867
It's hot
In this thing.
694
00:24:46,767 --> 00:24:48,800
What the fuck ?
695
00:24:48,833 --> 00:24:52,467
Hey, osama, go back
To your own fucking country.
696
00:25:05,867 --> 00:25:07,133
Okay, you ready ?
697
00:25:07,167 --> 00:25:10,767
Yeah, I'm a little nervous,
But let's give it a shot.
698
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,267
I'm a little concerned
About the weather.
699
00:25:12,300 --> 00:25:13,933
I got an umbrella,
It's alright.
700
00:25:13,967 --> 00:25:15,633
Okay.
701
00:25:15,667 --> 00:25:16,333
Okay.
702
00:25:16,367 --> 00:25:19,167
Just be casual.
703
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:20,200
Hello.
704
00:25:20,233 --> 00:25:21,667
Haboos, hello.
705
00:25:21,700 --> 00:25:22,167
Larry.
706
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:22,800
Hi.
707
00:25:22,833 --> 00:25:23,767
Michael ?
708
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:24,933
Michael.
709
00:25:24,967 --> 00:25:26,067
I am indeed.
710
00:25:26,067 --> 00:25:27,900
You're beautiful.
711
00:25:27,933 --> 00:25:31,200
Look at this man,
He's like your brother.
712
00:25:31,233 --> 00:25:32,533
He's a bald brother.
713
00:25:32,567 --> 00:25:34,067
I don't believe this.
714
00:25:34,067 --> 00:25:35,600
I've heard
So much about you.
715
00:25:35,633 --> 00:25:37,700
Larry has just sort of
Praised you to the skies.
716
00:25:37,733 --> 00:25:39,233
I've been raving.
717
00:25:39,267 --> 00:25:41,867
Oh, well I have
So few dates,
718
00:25:41,900 --> 00:25:45,267
And tonight I have a date
With two handsome men.
719
00:25:45,300 --> 00:25:46,867
Look, I got your
Dry cleaning.
720
00:25:46,900 --> 00:25:49,933
Oh, larry, you remembered,
Oh, thank you so much.
721
00:25:49,967 --> 00:25:50,967
Fixed your cloak.
722
00:25:51,067 --> 00:25:52,400
I got the stains
Out of the cloak.
723
00:25:52,433 --> 00:25:54,200
Oh, thank you so much,
Larry, thank you.
724
00:25:54,233 --> 00:25:55,867
And your hood and,
Uh, the whole...
725
00:25:55,900 --> 00:25:57,300
I like the way
She talks.
726
00:25:57,333 --> 00:25:59,267
It's kind of
A sexy thing.
727
00:25:59,300 --> 00:26:00,367
Did I tell you,
Did I tell you ?
728
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,200
This is wonderful.
729
00:26:02,233 --> 00:26:04,800
So what shall we do,
What shall we do ?
730
00:26:04,833 --> 00:26:07,667
Oh, jeez, um,
Whatever you like, haboos ?
731
00:26:07,700 --> 00:26:13,467
What about a walk or
Something, uh, romantic, uh...
732
00:26:13,500 --> 00:26:15,167
Oh, you got
The drizzles.
733
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:16,133
It's drizzling,
I don't know.
734
00:26:16,167 --> 00:26:17,767
Yeah, I think it's
About to come down.
735
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:19,267
I don't mind,
I don't mind.
736
00:26:19,300 --> 00:26:21,600
You don't mind, you got
A hood on, what do you care ?
737
00:26:21,633 --> 00:26:22,900
You know what,
I got an umbrella.
738
00:26:22,933 --> 00:26:24,567
If you wanna take a walk,
We can take a walk, that's fine.
739
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,300
It's like daredevil,
You're like daredevil.
740
00:26:26,333 --> 00:26:29,100
Oh, can you
Get this thing...
741
00:26:30,533 --> 00:26:31,633
Oh !
742
00:26:31,667 --> 00:26:34,867
My veil.
743
00:26:34,900 --> 00:26:36,067
Ugh !
744
00:26:36,100 --> 00:26:38,500
( screaming )
745
00:26:43,467 --> 00:26:45,267
Ooh.
746
00:26:45,300 --> 00:26:47,467
Not so hot, huh ?
747
00:26:47,500 --> 00:26:49,733
No, not so hot.
748
00:26:49,767 --> 00:26:52,067
Well...
749
00:26:52,067 --> 00:26:55,400
Thanks for trying.
750
00:26:55,433 --> 00:26:56,500
Yeah.
751
00:26:57,933 --> 00:27:01,433
Please shuffle
The deck.
752
00:27:09,267 --> 00:27:12,400
Thank you, and...
753
00:27:12,433 --> 00:27:15,067
This should
Be your card.
754
00:27:15,067 --> 00:27:17,433
Yeah, you peeked.
755
00:27:17,467 --> 00:27:19,967
You bent it so
You could peek at it.
756
00:27:20,067 --> 00:27:22,067
You had to look at it
From behind.
757
00:27:22,067 --> 00:27:23,333
How'd you know ?
758
00:27:23,367 --> 00:27:25,467
Anyone could
Figure that out.
759
00:27:25,500 --> 00:27:26,633
Uh, where's larry ?
760
00:27:26,667 --> 00:27:27,600
I don't know.
761
00:27:27,633 --> 00:27:29,233
And the game's
About to start.
762
00:27:29,267 --> 00:27:31,167
Well, he's probably
In the bathroom.
763
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:35,533
( wind whistling )
764
00:27:55,500 --> 00:27:57,733
Larry david ?
765
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,800
Why don't you
Close the door ?
766
00:28:12,467 --> 00:28:15,767
I think we have
Some time before the show.
767
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:20,267
I'd like to give you your
10th anniversary present.
768
00:28:29,300 --> 00:28:31,067
What are you doing ?
769
00:28:31,067 --> 00:28:32,067
Who invited you ?
770
00:28:32,100 --> 00:28:33,067
Get the hell
Out of here.
771
00:28:33,100 --> 00:28:35,867
Look at you,
You are sick.
772
00:28:35,900 --> 00:28:36,867
Where's the other one ?
I want the other one.
773
00:28:36,900 --> 00:28:37,800
Get out !
774
00:28:37,833 --> 00:28:39,333
I'm the only
One here, baby.
775
00:28:39,367 --> 00:28:41,200
And now for
The rest of your life,
776
00:28:41,233 --> 00:28:43,933
You sick four-eyed
Pervert fuck,
777
00:28:43,967 --> 00:28:47,400
You're gonna be fantasizing
About me in this outfit.
778
00:28:47,433 --> 00:28:53,067
Ha ha ha ha !
779
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:03,133
Captions copyright 2003
Home box office, inc.
780
00:29:03,167 --> 00:29:06,700
Captioned by
Hbo communications center
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