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1
00:00:00,639 --> 00:00:02,899
Samantha, as you know,
2
00:00:02,907 --> 00:00:04,908
Trevor and I are now an official couple.
3
00:00:04,908 --> 00:00:07,778
That's right, Sammy, this
beefcake is off the market.
4
00:00:07,778 --> 00:00:09,647
You snooze, you lose.
5
00:00:09,647 --> 00:00:10,747
Darn.
6
00:00:10,747 --> 00:00:14,185
Anyway, our social calendar
is filling up quickly,
7
00:00:14,185 --> 00:00:17,021
so if you and Jay would
like to get on the books,
8
00:00:17,021 --> 00:00:18,823
I suggest you act with haste.
9
00:00:18,823 --> 00:00:21,893
This afternoon is spoken
for, however, by me and Nigel.
10
00:00:21,893 --> 00:00:23,294
Oh, it's so fun to have another couple
11
00:00:23,294 --> 00:00:24,695
to do things with now.
12
00:00:24,695 --> 00:00:26,196
I know. Doing things with other couples
13
00:00:26,196 --> 00:00:27,964
is one of the best things
about being a couple.
14
00:00:27,964 --> 00:00:31,301
Thor and Flower also a couple now.
15
00:00:31,301 --> 00:00:32,637
Oh, dear.
16
00:00:32,637 --> 00:00:35,872
We are available to do things.
17
00:00:35,872 --> 00:00:38,276
- Unfortunately, we have plans that night.
- Oh!
18
00:00:38,276 --> 00:00:41,112
But Thor not say specific night.
19
00:00:41,112 --> 00:00:42,445
Without a specific night,
20
00:00:42,445 --> 00:00:43,747
how are we supposed to plan anything?
21
00:00:43,747 --> 00:00:45,015
Oh, she's good.
22
00:00:45,015 --> 00:00:46,850
- I'm home!
- Jay!
23
00:00:46,850 --> 00:00:48,886
Hey, babe, and I'm
guessing three to eight
24
00:00:48,886 --> 00:00:51,100
invisible people from
throughout history.
25
00:00:51,100 --> 00:00:53,299
- How was New York?
- It was freakin' awesome.
26
00:00:53,301 --> 00:00:55,993
It was two days of wall-to-wall
D&D with my old crew.
27
00:00:55,993 --> 00:00:57,460
Sounds like pure hell.
28
00:00:57,460 --> 00:00:58,862
It was pure bliss.
29
00:00:58,862 --> 00:01:00,798
Neglore and Devlin were unconscious,
30
00:01:00,798 --> 00:01:02,099
Florin was out of heals.
31
00:01:02,099 --> 00:01:03,768
It was just me versus the Dracolich.
32
00:01:03,768 --> 00:01:05,936
I pull out my sword, toss my lucky die,
33
00:01:05,936 --> 00:01:08,072
and what do I roll? Natural 20, baby.
34
00:01:08,072 --> 00:01:10,340
I am so sorry I missed it.
35
00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:13,878
- No, you're not.
- No, I'm not. But I did miss you.
36
00:01:13,878 --> 00:01:15,980
I root for them.
37
00:01:15,980 --> 00:01:18,582
It's gonna be a bummer
watching them wither and die,
38
00:01:18,582 --> 00:01:21,085
but right now, this is nice.
39
00:01:27,490 --> 00:01:29,760
Nay. Ya-da-da-da!
40
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,262
Pete, please get out of the way.
41
00:01:31,262 --> 00:01:32,963
No can do, my friend.
As you know, the bathroom
42
00:01:32,963 --> 00:01:34,664
is strictly off limits for ghosts
43
00:01:34,664 --> 00:01:36,133
when the Living is inside.
44
00:01:36,133 --> 00:01:37,902
That's when someone's,
like, in the shower, man.
45
00:01:37,902 --> 00:01:39,637
They're just fixing a leaky pipe.
46
00:01:39,637 --> 00:01:41,938
Okay, what you're saying may be
within the spirit of the rule,
47
00:01:41,938 --> 00:01:44,942
but I must insist we follow
the letter of the law,
48
00:01:44,942 --> 00:01:46,777
because of my ethics,
49
00:01:46,777 --> 00:01:48,045
and what a doctor once called
50
00:01:48,045 --> 00:01:49,914
a slight personality disorder.
51
00:01:49,914 --> 00:01:52,015
- Did you get the sneakers?
- I waited in line
52
00:01:52,015 --> 00:01:54,918
for six hours to get these bad boys.
53
00:01:56,686 --> 00:01:57,787
Behold.
54
00:01:57,787 --> 00:02:00,924
The Wind Storm Ultra Five.
55
00:02:00,924 --> 00:02:03,293
Damn! And Sam didn't
see you bring these in?
56
00:02:03,293 --> 00:02:04,828
No, no, no, no, no. I brought 'em in
57
00:02:04,828 --> 00:02:06,596
in my suitcase, and then
I hid 'em in this tub.
58
00:02:06,596 --> 00:02:08,699
She doesn't know anything.
59
00:02:08,699 --> 00:02:10,033
Can I smell 'em?
60
00:02:10,033 --> 00:02:11,602
I wouldn't consider you
a fellow sneaker head
61
00:02:11,602 --> 00:02:13,638
if you didn't.
62
00:02:26,683 --> 00:02:27,852
Oh!
63
00:02:28,853 --> 00:02:30,788
Dude, are you kidding me?!
64
00:02:30,788 --> 00:02:33,557
I hope that didn't wake
up that creepy prom ghost.
65
00:02:33,557 --> 00:02:36,826
That is, like, twice
in two years, dipwad.
66
00:02:43,401 --> 00:02:45,468
Sweet dreams.
67
00:02:51,141 --> 00:02:54,578
Okay, what about six
Wednesdays from now?
68
00:02:54,578 --> 00:02:56,813
Mm, no, also booked.
69
00:02:56,813 --> 00:02:57,882
It is unfortunate.
70
00:02:57,882 --> 00:02:59,783
It's frustrating for both of us.
71
00:02:59,783 --> 00:03:01,252
Hey, losers.
72
00:03:01,252 --> 00:03:03,187
Stephanie, what are you doing up?
73
00:03:03,187 --> 00:03:05,021
Please don't make fun of my knees again.
74
00:03:05,021 --> 00:03:06,324
They're normal knees.
75
00:03:06,324 --> 00:03:09,159
That dork Living woke me up, again.
76
00:03:09,159 --> 00:03:11,495
So what did I miss since last April?
77
00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:14,131
Oh, well, let's see,
Elias came back from hell.
78
00:03:14,131 --> 00:03:15,598
Samantha got possessed.
79
00:03:15,598 --> 00:03:17,200
We all met Tara Reid.
80
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,002
Ooh, we started a
podcast about my murder.
81
00:03:19,002 --> 00:03:20,337
I have son.
82
00:03:20,337 --> 00:03:21,838
And I'm gay.
83
00:03:21,838 --> 00:03:24,942
What's a podcast?
84
00:03:24,942 --> 00:03:27,444
So, what are we smelling for lunch?
85
00:03:27,444 --> 00:03:29,079
Oh, God.
86
00:03:29,159 --> 00:03:31,228
- Stephanie.
- Hi, Trevor.
87
00:03:31,228 --> 00:03:32,695
Aren't you happy to see me?
88
00:03:32,695 --> 00:03:33,997
You know, I've been thinking about you,
89
00:03:33,997 --> 00:03:35,566
like, a lot.
90
00:03:35,566 --> 00:03:37,367
Again, not gonna happen.
91
00:03:37,367 --> 00:03:39,603
You know, I'm technically
54 years old now.
92
00:03:39,603 --> 00:03:41,138
Yeah, but you're not.
93
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:43,074
Plus, um...
94
00:03:43,074 --> 00:03:47,243
- Well, really, I'm seeing someone.
- Her?
95
00:03:47,243 --> 00:03:51,115
We were copulating secretly
for a period of time.
96
00:03:51,115 --> 00:03:54,284
Initially stirred to passion
on the Lord's birthday.
97
00:03:54,284 --> 00:03:58,122
But now we have come out of the shadows.
98
00:03:58,122 --> 00:04:01,358
Thor also have girlfriend now.
99
00:04:01,358 --> 00:04:03,661
We're going on a double
date with Trevor and Hetty
100
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:05,795
at some unspecified
point in the near future.
101
00:04:05,795 --> 00:04:07,531
As soon as we can work it
out schedule-wise, yeah.
102
00:04:07,531 --> 00:04:10,433
I'm dating Nigel. It's
sort of an adorable story.
103
00:04:10,433 --> 00:04:12,203
He's British, and I killed him.
104
00:04:12,203 --> 00:04:14,604
Wow, so is everyone just pairing up now?
105
00:04:14,604 --> 00:04:16,706
There is some movement
in that direction.
106
00:04:16,706 --> 00:04:17,942
But no, not everyone.
107
00:04:17,942 --> 00:04:19,375
It's his knees, isn't it?
108
00:04:19,375 --> 00:04:21,978
And she went there. Gosh darn it.
109
00:04:21,978 --> 00:04:23,848
Hey, Stephanie.
110
00:04:23,848 --> 00:04:25,249
I guess the rumors are true.
111
00:04:25,249 --> 00:04:26,483
Just came to say hi.
112
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:27,851
Wait a minute, you mean Stephanie
113
00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:29,086
the creepy chainsaw girl?
114
00:04:29,086 --> 00:04:32,723
I mean the totally rad '80s girl?
115
00:04:32,723 --> 00:04:34,091
Did I wake her up?
116
00:04:34,091 --> 00:04:37,093
I did go up to the attic
to put my suitcase away.
117
00:04:37,093 --> 00:04:40,598
- Anyway, how are you?
- Terrible.
118
00:04:40,598 --> 00:04:42,832
I just found out about Trevor and Hetty.
119
00:04:42,832 --> 00:04:44,268
Oh, yeah.
120
00:04:44,268 --> 00:04:45,735
She's upset that Trevor's dating Hetty.
121
00:04:45,735 --> 00:04:47,838
Trevor is dating Hetty?
122
00:04:47,838 --> 00:04:50,341
Seriously? When were
you gonna tell me this?
123
00:04:50,341 --> 00:04:53,076
What would you do with
that information, Jay?
124
00:04:53,076 --> 00:04:55,612
I don't know, feel included in
the goings-on of my own home.
125
00:04:55,612 --> 00:04:57,715
I just really, really like him,
126
00:04:57,715 --> 00:05:00,483
and I don't think he's
ever gonna give me a chance.
127
00:05:00,483 --> 00:05:03,353
That's why they call them crushes.
128
00:05:03,353 --> 00:05:06,223
If they were easy, they'd
call them something different.
129
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:08,725
That's from Sixteen Candles.
130
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,060
It's my favorite movie.
131
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,862
Me, too. I've been there.
132
00:05:11,862 --> 00:05:13,230
I know it hurts. I know.
133
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:15,721
I just need to move on and
set my sights on someone else.
134
00:05:15,723 --> 00:05:17,120
You should definitely move on,
135
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,137
but I'm not sure who
else you could be with.
136
00:05:20,137 --> 00:05:21,538
What does that mean?
137
00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:23,807
No, it's just that
you're a high-schooler,
138
00:05:23,807 --> 00:05:26,810
and all the other ghosts
are, you know, adults.
139
00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:29,547
I am 54 years old, young lady.
140
00:05:29,547 --> 00:05:32,216
I Frenched a guy at a
Flock of Seagulls concert.
141
00:05:32,216 --> 00:05:34,350
I don't know what to tell you.
142
00:05:34,350 --> 00:05:37,454
You tell her to stay
positive, okay? You never know.
143
00:05:37,454 --> 00:05:40,090
A nice high school kid might show up,
144
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:43,259
and he might crash his car,
fly through the windshield...
145
00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:44,327
Jay!
146
00:05:44,327 --> 00:05:46,697
Well, excuse me for being a romantic.
147
00:05:46,697 --> 00:05:51,502
You know what? I think
you're right, Sam.
148
00:05:51,502 --> 00:05:54,672
I should just make
peace with being alone.
149
00:05:54,672 --> 00:05:59,310
Thank you so much for
a very helpful talk.
150
00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:01,444
- You're welcome.
- Mm-hmm.
151
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:05,149
Oh, hey, Stephanie. You're awake.
152
00:06:05,149 --> 00:06:06,884
What are you up to?
153
00:06:06,884 --> 00:06:12,755
I am going to take down every
couple here at Woodstone.
154
00:06:12,755 --> 00:06:14,858
If I can't be happy,
155
00:06:14,858 --> 00:06:17,627
- no one can.
- Cool.
156
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:18,963
I'm gonna stick my head in the fridge
157
00:06:18,963 --> 00:06:20,963
and smell some cheese.
158
00:06:22,103 --> 00:06:26,089
Listen, Trevor, uh, I am sorry
159
00:06:26,187 --> 00:06:27,923
for getting all mad about you and Hetty.
160
00:06:27,923 --> 00:06:29,692
The truth is I'm happy for you guys.
161
00:06:29,692 --> 00:06:31,160
Thank you, Stephanie.
162
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,728
It kinda sucks, though, for you, right?
163
00:06:32,728 --> 00:06:34,997
You guys used to just hook up,
164
00:06:34,997 --> 00:06:37,566
and now you have to do a bunch
of boring boyfriend stuff?
165
00:06:37,566 --> 00:06:38,800
Yikes.
166
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,603
Look, boyfriend stuff isn't boring.
167
00:06:40,603 --> 00:06:42,771
Like today, we're doing a double date.
168
00:06:42,771 --> 00:06:44,038
What are you doing?
169
00:06:44,038 --> 00:06:47,108
- We're having tea with Isaac and Nigel.
- Wow.
170
00:06:47,108 --> 00:06:49,677
That sounds right up your alley.
171
00:06:49,737 --> 00:06:52,173
- Not.
- Whoa.
172
00:06:52,173 --> 00:06:55,177
She completely changed meaning
of sentence with one word.
173
00:06:55,177 --> 00:06:56,678
Well, I like tea.
174
00:06:56,678 --> 00:06:59,180
And next time they said
that we can watch basketball.
175
00:06:59,180 --> 00:07:01,250
I'm sure that'll happen.
176
00:07:01,250 --> 00:07:03,752
Not!
177
00:07:03,752 --> 00:07:05,987
Whatever.
178
00:07:05,987 --> 00:07:08,557
You're just jealous.
179
00:07:08,557 --> 00:07:11,060
And stop trying to get in my head.
180
00:07:11,060 --> 00:07:14,262
- So, a Viking and a hippie.
- Mm-hmm.
181
00:07:14,262 --> 00:07:15,831
What do you guys have in common?
182
00:07:15,831 --> 00:07:18,132
Um...
183
00:07:18,132 --> 00:07:20,636
- we both like Viking stuff.
- Mm.
184
00:07:20,636 --> 00:07:24,339
I mean, I'm not huge on Viking stuff.
185
00:07:24,339 --> 00:07:26,675
That's not a promising start.
186
00:07:27,709 --> 00:07:29,745
- I like horses.
- Mm.
187
00:07:29,745 --> 00:07:31,379
Yes! Me, too.
188
00:07:31,379 --> 00:07:33,848
- Very delicious.
- Oh, no.
189
00:07:33,848 --> 00:07:37,485
Well, I'll leave you guys to it.
190
00:07:40,189 --> 00:07:43,725
Hey, thanks for coming up here.
191
00:07:43,725 --> 00:07:47,228
I was hoping you could help me
move this old quilt onto my bed.
192
00:07:47,228 --> 00:07:49,031
Which old quilt? This one?
193
00:07:49,031 --> 00:07:50,499
Yeah, that one right there.
194
00:07:50,499 --> 00:07:52,433
Looks way more comfortable
than the one I have.
195
00:07:54,036 --> 00:07:55,170
Thank you.
196
00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:57,305
Wait, what are these?
197
00:07:57,305 --> 00:07:59,742
Oh, I don't know. It's,
like, shoes or something.
198
00:07:59,742 --> 00:08:03,478
Jay was putting them up
here when he woke me up.
199
00:08:03,478 --> 00:08:05,346
Wait, did you not know about these?
200
00:08:05,346 --> 00:08:07,682
Huh, he bought these
two days ago in New York.
201
00:08:07,682 --> 00:08:09,283
And he hid them from you?
202
00:08:09,584 --> 00:08:11,586
That's so messed up.
203
00:08:11,586 --> 00:08:14,555
No, we don't hide
things from each other.
204
00:08:14,555 --> 00:08:17,259
I'm sure he just didn't get
around to telling me yet.
205
00:08:17,259 --> 00:08:19,528
No, yeah, yeah. I'm sure you're right.
206
00:08:19,528 --> 00:08:20,629
Not.
207
00:08:24,432 --> 00:08:27,603
So, Nigel, Isaac was telling me
208
00:08:27,603 --> 00:08:31,206
that you don't care for green tea.
209
00:08:32,607 --> 00:08:35,376
Getting into controversial
topics, I see.
210
00:08:35,376 --> 00:08:37,111
Well, be honest. Don't you grow tired.
211
00:08:37,111 --> 00:08:40,149
Of the smell of English breakfast tea?
212
00:08:40,149 --> 00:08:43,751
In England, we just
call it breakfast tea.
213
00:08:47,722 --> 00:08:49,892
Is this whole double date gonna be
214
00:08:49,892 --> 00:08:51,259
tea-related conversation?
215
00:08:51,259 --> 00:08:52,794
It's just, it's been an hour.
216
00:08:52,794 --> 00:08:55,864
And-and that's just a long time to talk
217
00:08:55,864 --> 00:08:57,432
about flavored water.
218
00:08:57,432 --> 00:09:01,470
Well, uh, perhaps it wouldn't
feel so long, dearest,
219
00:09:01,470 --> 00:09:03,706
if you attempted to participate.
220
00:09:03,706 --> 00:09:06,408
- Mm.
- Okay.
221
00:09:06,408 --> 00:09:09,644
- Well, I guess that I like...
- Mm-hmm?
222
00:09:09,644 --> 00:09:11,480
... iced tea.
223
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,282
Have you ever had Snapple?
224
00:09:15,083 --> 00:09:16,784
The Diet Peach was pretty good.
225
00:09:19,321 --> 00:09:20,822
And in a bold move,
226
00:09:20,822 --> 00:09:24,192
Iron Chef Arondekar
has chosen the parsnip.
227
00:09:24,192 --> 00:09:26,327
My God, how's he gonna prepare this?
228
00:09:26,327 --> 00:09:29,565
This guy really needs some friends.
229
00:09:29,565 --> 00:09:30,966
Well, when you have imagination,
230
00:09:30,966 --> 00:09:32,033
you don't need friends.
231
00:09:32,033 --> 00:09:35,370
I wore headgear till I was 15.
232
00:09:35,370 --> 00:09:37,639
Hey, honey, I just realized that
233
00:09:37,639 --> 00:09:40,442
I never got the chance to hear
about the rest of your trip.
234
00:09:40,442 --> 00:09:41,876
Oh, well, it was pretty chill.
235
00:09:41,876 --> 00:09:43,846
Just played D&D with the old crew.
236
00:09:43,846 --> 00:09:46,548
Oh, did I tell you about the
showdown with the Beholder?
237
00:09:46,548 --> 00:09:49,350
No, I didn't mean more D&D stuff.
238
00:09:49,350 --> 00:09:50,619
You were there for two days.
239
00:09:50,619 --> 00:09:52,488
You must have done something else.
240
00:09:52,488 --> 00:09:54,355
Whoa, whoa, whoa, a Beholder showdown.
241
00:09:54,355 --> 00:09:55,823
Let's not race past that.
242
00:09:55,823 --> 00:09:57,091
Nope, that was pretty much it.
243
00:09:57,091 --> 00:09:58,994
So weird.
244
00:09:58,994 --> 00:10:00,796
Why isn't he telling
you about the sneakers?
245
00:10:00,796 --> 00:10:04,432
Look, Jay, the truth is I
know what you did in New York.
246
00:10:04,732 --> 00:10:06,567
- You do?
- Yes.
247
00:10:06,567 --> 00:10:08,669
And it's not even a big deal, I just...
248
00:10:08,669 --> 00:10:11,206
I want you to be able
to be honest with me
249
00:10:11,206 --> 00:10:13,841
because that is the
kind of couple we are.
250
00:10:13,841 --> 00:10:17,278
Okay, fine, I interviewed
for the head chef position
251
00:10:17,278 --> 00:10:18,279
at my old restaurant.
252
00:10:18,279 --> 00:10:21,216
What?! You interviewed for a job there?
253
00:10:21,216 --> 00:10:23,818
You just said you knew, and
that it wasn't a big deal.
254
00:10:23,818 --> 00:10:26,288
This is so much better than sneakers.
255
00:10:26,288 --> 00:10:28,923
I didn't know, and it is a huge deal.
256
00:10:28,923 --> 00:10:31,527
Okay, before somebody says
something they're gonna regret,
257
00:10:31,527 --> 00:10:33,361
let's get back to the Beholder showdown.
258
00:10:33,361 --> 00:10:35,364
Did it use its Ray of Disintegration?
259
00:10:35,364 --> 00:10:36,865
A shiny nickel says it did.
260
00:10:39,706 --> 00:10:41,750
I just can't believe you
would interview for a job
261
00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:43,841
in another city without talking to me.
262
00:10:43,841 --> 00:10:45,744
Wait, what did you
think that I was hiding?
263
00:10:45,744 --> 00:10:47,979
Uh, duh, the sneakers in the attic.
264
00:10:47,979 --> 00:10:50,248
Oh, well, those aren't
mine, those are Mark's.
265
00:10:50,248 --> 00:10:52,817
He keeps 'em here so
that his wife doesn't know
266
00:10:52,817 --> 00:10:54,586
how much he spends on shoes.
267
00:10:54,586 --> 00:10:56,221
I don't even have shoes,
268
00:10:56,221 --> 00:10:59,190
and my clothes are
basically a potato sack.
269
00:10:59,190 --> 00:11:01,259
I'm just offering a
different perspective.
270
00:11:01,259 --> 00:11:02,860
Whatever. The shoes don't matter.
271
00:11:02,860 --> 00:11:05,129
You were looking for a job in the city.
272
00:11:05,129 --> 00:11:06,597
Are you unhappy here?
273
00:11:06,597 --> 00:11:09,200
Well, not exactly.
274
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,602
- You know I can't live in the city, right?
- Yeah.
275
00:11:11,602 --> 00:11:13,071
It's, like, wall-to-wall ghosts.
276
00:11:13,071 --> 00:11:14,672
Central Park looks like
the "Thriller" video.
277
00:11:14,672 --> 00:11:16,740
I wasn't gonna take the job.
278
00:11:16,740 --> 00:11:19,443
I just wanted to indulge
in the fantasy for a minute.
279
00:11:19,443 --> 00:11:22,179
- What fantasy?
- I don't know.
280
00:11:22,179 --> 00:11:24,249
Being at the epicenter of
the cooking world again,
281
00:11:24,249 --> 00:11:27,052
and working in a busy restaurant
282
00:11:27,052 --> 00:11:29,821
with people that I can see and hear.
283
00:11:29,821 --> 00:11:31,221
Ouch. That felt pointed.
284
00:11:31,221 --> 00:11:33,323
I'm not unhappy here,
285
00:11:33,323 --> 00:11:36,693
I just... I miss some
things about my old life.
286
00:11:36,693 --> 00:11:38,863
Okay.
287
00:11:38,863 --> 00:11:41,165
Well, what can we do?
288
00:11:41,165 --> 00:11:43,934
I don't think there's anything to do.
289
00:11:46,104 --> 00:11:47,938
Wait, what-what... What was that?
290
00:11:47,938 --> 00:11:51,809
I wanted fireworks. That was just...
291
00:11:51,809 --> 00:11:52,976
That was depressing.
292
00:11:52,976 --> 00:11:54,645
What are you talking about?
293
00:11:54,645 --> 00:11:56,780
She's been trying to break everybody up,
294
00:11:56,780 --> 00:12:00,451
except for Pete, who has no one.
295
00:12:00,451 --> 00:12:02,921
Stephanie, why would you do that to us?
296
00:12:02,921 --> 00:12:04,956
Oh, my God, no one understands me!
297
00:12:04,956 --> 00:12:07,057
I hate you. I hate all...
298
00:12:07,057 --> 00:12:09,259
Stop looking at me.
299
00:12:10,461 --> 00:12:14,032
That is one dramatic middle-aged lady.
300
00:12:14,032 --> 00:12:16,167
Guys, what was I thinking?
301
00:12:16,167 --> 00:12:17,769
I had everything so good with Hetty.
302
00:12:17,769 --> 00:12:19,504
It was literally just sex.
303
00:12:19,504 --> 00:12:22,740
But now we're smelling
tea and talking about tea.
304
00:12:22,740 --> 00:12:24,241
And she shushes me
whenever I bring up anything
305
00:12:24,241 --> 00:12:25,509
that happened after 1900.
306
00:12:25,509 --> 00:12:28,379
I hear you. Relationships are tough.
307
00:12:28,379 --> 00:12:31,216
What do you know about relationship?
308
00:12:31,216 --> 00:12:34,885
Uh, hello? Remember Jessica?
309
00:12:34,885 --> 00:12:36,687
My ex-girlfriend?
310
00:12:36,687 --> 00:12:39,289
- She lived in a car?
- No.
311
00:12:39,289 --> 00:12:40,792
Trevor, I think you're
thinking about this
312
00:12:40,792 --> 00:12:42,092
all the wrong way, buddy.
313
00:12:42,092 --> 00:12:43,394
I mean, the stuff you're doing now,
314
00:12:43,394 --> 00:12:45,897
the couples stuff, that's the best part.
315
00:12:45,897 --> 00:12:47,264
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
316
00:12:47,264 --> 00:12:48,832
When I think back on my time with Carol,
317
00:12:48,832 --> 00:12:51,201
I mean, those are the
moments that really stand out.
318
00:12:51,201 --> 00:12:54,272
You know, it's that
trip to the lamp store,
319
00:12:54,272 --> 00:12:57,509
or those long breakfasts where you
320
00:12:57,509 --> 00:13:00,711
sit there reading your separate papers.
321
00:13:00,711 --> 00:13:03,514
And then she glares at you
for laughing out loud at Ziggy,
322
00:13:03,514 --> 00:13:05,850
which you know bothers her,
but you can't help yourself.
323
00:13:05,850 --> 00:13:07,317
It's Ziggy!
324
00:13:08,418 --> 00:13:11,589
The point is, this is
the good stuff, buddy.
325
00:13:11,589 --> 00:13:13,591
Soak it in.
326
00:13:13,591 --> 00:13:15,159
That was so bleak.
327
00:13:15,159 --> 00:13:19,463
Yeah. Thor rattled.
328
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,034
She lived in a RAV4.
329
00:13:24,034 --> 00:13:26,037
It was just a couple weeks ago, Thor.
330
00:13:26,037 --> 00:13:27,504
I know you remember.
331
00:13:27,504 --> 00:13:31,109
Very sad, Sass make up girlfriend.
332
00:13:33,278 --> 00:13:36,548
So, that was fun today
with your new beau.
333
00:13:36,548 --> 00:13:39,049
Yes, it was a delight.
334
00:13:39,049 --> 00:13:40,317
We should do it again soon.
335
00:13:40,317 --> 00:13:42,586
Not that soon, though.
336
00:13:42,586 --> 00:13:44,556
It's just we want to space out the fun.
337
00:13:44,556 --> 00:13:47,859
Oh, drop the niceties.
Trevor was a disaster.
338
00:13:47,859 --> 00:13:50,894
He had no opinions about tea.
339
00:13:50,894 --> 00:13:53,932
His knowledge of steam engines
was rudimentary at best.
340
00:13:53,932 --> 00:13:55,567
It wasn't that bad.
341
00:13:55,567 --> 00:13:59,571
Is it really that difficult to carry
one's weight at a social function?
342
00:13:59,571 --> 00:14:02,072
I mean, Elias was a
syphilitic philanderer,
343
00:14:02,072 --> 00:14:04,408
but that man sparkled at a dinner party.
344
00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:06,811
He could drink anyone
under the table with class,
345
00:14:06,811 --> 00:14:08,712
and vomit most discreetly.
346
00:14:08,712 --> 00:14:11,649
Things were simpler before,
when our union was purely carnal.
347
00:14:11,649 --> 00:14:15,953
But now... what can I do?
348
00:14:15,953 --> 00:14:18,288
- Can't go back.
- During tea,
349
00:14:18,288 --> 00:14:19,957
did either of you...
350
00:14:19,957 --> 00:14:22,527
Feel his genitals were on display? Yeah.
351
00:14:22,527 --> 00:14:25,230
I wish I could say you get used to it.
352
00:14:26,029 --> 00:14:27,966
You don't.
353
00:14:30,301 --> 00:14:33,071
Hey, Sam, I'm here for the shoes.
354
00:14:33,071 --> 00:14:34,739
Oh, yeah, sorry about that, Mark.
355
00:14:34,739 --> 00:14:38,243
- I just don't want people going in and out of the attic.
- Why?
356
00:14:38,243 --> 00:14:39,777
Oh, that is a fair question.
357
00:14:39,777 --> 00:14:43,514
Um, there's a rare owl
that's nesting there.
358
00:14:43,514 --> 00:14:45,149
We don't like to disturb it.
359
00:14:45,149 --> 00:14:47,784
Oh, I didn't know about this owl.
360
00:14:47,784 --> 00:14:49,120
I love owls.
361
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,822
Odin has pet owl.
362
00:14:50,822 --> 00:14:52,289
Really?
363
00:14:52,289 --> 00:14:53,825
Maybe that's a thing we have in common.
364
00:14:53,825 --> 00:14:58,229
Yes. Thor and Flower
both familiar with owls.
365
00:14:58,229 --> 00:15:02,332
Is definitely basis for
entire relationship. Hmm?
366
00:15:02,332 --> 00:15:03,900
There's gotta be another
place on this giant property
367
00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:05,403
I could stash these shoes.
368
00:15:07,938 --> 00:15:09,240
How about that barn out back?
369
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:10,975
You want to put your expensive sneakers
370
00:15:10,975 --> 00:15:12,610
in some dilapidated old barn?
371
00:15:12,610 --> 00:15:14,412
Yeah, it's old, but it's got good bones.
372
00:15:14,412 --> 00:15:16,313
And it's actually got
a solid roof to it.
373
00:15:16,313 --> 00:15:20,083
Ooh, hold on. I know my
girl. Her wheels are turning.
374
00:15:20,083 --> 00:15:21,485
Guys, I have an idea.
375
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,120
It's, uh, it's just me.
376
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,123
Right. I mean guy...
377
00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:29,427
My guy, my man, my-my dude.
378
00:15:29,427 --> 00:15:32,764
My man Mark. Marky-Mark.
379
00:15:35,232 --> 00:15:37,000
It never gets less painful to watch.
380
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,370
Now will you tell me what we're doing
381
00:15:39,370 --> 00:15:40,611
out here in the barn?
382
00:15:40,672 --> 00:15:44,174
So, after our little talk earlier,
383
00:15:44,394 --> 00:15:46,463
everything you said was true.
384
00:15:46,463 --> 00:15:48,232
I can't ever go back to the city.
385
00:15:48,232 --> 00:15:52,136
- She got a lot of parking tickets.
- Ah.
386
00:15:52,136 --> 00:15:55,005
So why don't we bring the New
York City food scene to us?
387
00:15:55,005 --> 00:15:56,841
It'll be like that
baseball movie you love.
388
00:15:56,841 --> 00:15:58,743
- Major League II?
- No.
389
00:15:58,743 --> 00:16:00,080
- Major League one?
- No.
390
00:16:00,081 --> 00:16:01,735
The Sandlot? Bull Durham? Moneyball?
391
00:16:01,735 --> 00:16:03,181
- The Natural?
- Barbarella!
392
00:16:03,181 --> 00:16:05,182
- Just stop guessing.
- Oh.
393
00:16:05,182 --> 00:16:08,153
"If you build it, they will come."
394
00:16:08,153 --> 00:16:10,154
Field of Dreams.
395
00:16:10,154 --> 00:16:12,524
So this is why I brought you out here.
396
00:16:12,524 --> 00:16:16,427
Because this could be your cornfield.
397
00:16:19,096 --> 00:16:22,332
It could be a restaurant,
a destination restaurant.
398
00:16:22,332 --> 00:16:26,370
Are you saying this could be
our Blue Hill at Stone Barns?
399
00:16:26,370 --> 00:16:29,974
A destination restaurant could
be a big draw for the B and B.
400
00:16:29,974 --> 00:16:33,144
Oh, also, a butter churn.
People love activities.
401
00:16:33,144 --> 00:16:35,547
Mark could help us transform the space.
402
00:16:35,547 --> 00:16:37,381
Yeah, I mean, it all sounds great,
403
00:16:37,381 --> 00:16:39,450
but we don't really
have the money for that.
404
00:16:39,450 --> 00:16:42,687
You do if your contractor
is your business partner.
405
00:16:44,287 --> 00:16:45,789
Hold on. Mark's gonna
be around all the time
406
00:16:45,789 --> 00:16:48,927
being best friends with Jay,
getting into shenanigans?
407
00:16:48,927 --> 00:16:50,495
Don't love that.
408
00:16:53,530 --> 00:16:56,634
Although I am glad that Sam
and Jay worked things out.
409
00:16:56,634 --> 00:16:58,536
And now they're stronger than ever.
410
00:16:58,536 --> 00:17:02,105
Just like me and Thor, who love owls.
411
00:17:02,941 --> 00:17:04,709
Oh, thank you, Sam.
412
00:17:04,709 --> 00:17:07,811
Now I can tell you that
half those sneakers are mine.
413
00:17:08,980 --> 00:17:11,048
They're investment pieces.
414
00:17:12,250 --> 00:17:15,619
See? The shenanigans
are already starting.
415
00:17:16,921 --> 00:17:18,155
Hey, Stephanie...
416
00:17:18,155 --> 00:17:20,525
Yeah, they already told me, okay?
417
00:17:20,525 --> 00:17:21,960
You and Jay are totally fine.
418
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,294
Are you here to gloat?
419
00:17:23,294 --> 00:17:25,395
No, I'm here to thank you.
420
00:17:25,395 --> 00:17:27,030
You made us work through something,
421
00:17:27,030 --> 00:17:29,433
and we are stronger
because of it. Good for you.
422
00:17:29,433 --> 00:17:31,301
I'll just be over
here alone for eternity
423
00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:33,037
because I died on prom night,
424
00:17:33,037 --> 00:17:36,007
and there is not a single other
teenage ghost on the property.
425
00:17:36,007 --> 00:17:38,742
Wait a minute, you've never met Ralph?
426
00:17:38,742 --> 00:17:40,411
Who's Ralph?
427
00:17:40,411 --> 00:17:43,480
Hey, Ralph, show yourself.
428
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,782
I got someone who wants to meet you.
429
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:52,289
H-Hi.
430
00:17:52,289 --> 00:17:55,593
- I'm... I'm Ralph.
- Ew.
431
00:17:55,593 --> 00:17:57,295
What's wrong?
432
00:17:57,295 --> 00:17:59,230
Look at this dork, he's got glasses on.
433
00:17:59,230 --> 00:18:00,798
What, these?
434
00:18:11,075 --> 00:18:14,679
Oh, my God.
435
00:18:14,679 --> 00:18:18,415
You look like that under those?
436
00:18:26,657 --> 00:18:30,528
So what kind of music do you like?
437
00:18:30,528 --> 00:18:32,864
I only heard music
three times in my life.
438
00:18:32,864 --> 00:18:36,034
Whatever. You're so hot.
439
00:18:38,502 --> 00:18:41,705
My own restaurant? I'm so excited.
440
00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:44,642
I'm so excited for you.
441
00:18:44,642 --> 00:18:47,711
Oh, and Mark's gonna be
around, like, all the time.
442
00:18:47,711 --> 00:18:51,182
Glad you'll have a real-life friend.
443
00:18:52,884 --> 00:18:55,853
You think Mark really likes
me, or is it just business?
444
00:18:55,853 --> 00:18:58,155
I don't want to talk about Mark anymore.
445
00:18:58,155 --> 00:19:00,191
Now you know how I feel.
446
00:19:01,962 --> 00:19:04,632
Okay, rock, paper,
scissors. I win, we ask Sam
447
00:19:04,632 --> 00:19:06,432
to turn on Who Wants
to Be A Millionaire?
448
00:19:06,432 --> 00:19:08,634
You win, we watch... what is it?
449
00:19:08,634 --> 00:19:10,503
Find Nemo.
450
00:19:10,503 --> 00:19:13,973
Is story of fish on great
journey across the sea.
451
00:19:13,973 --> 00:19:15,808
All right.
452
00:19:15,808 --> 00:19:17,678
One, two, three. Ha ha!
453
00:19:17,678 --> 00:19:19,546
Rock beats scissors.
454
00:19:20,346 --> 00:19:22,115
And axe beats all!
455
00:19:23,282 --> 00:19:25,318
Darn it, that smarts!
456
00:19:25,318 --> 00:19:27,386
- How dare you!
- How dare me?!
457
00:19:27,386 --> 00:19:28,689
You're selfish, you're a control freak,
458
00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:31,625
and you got all your
little old-timey rules.
459
00:19:31,625 --> 00:19:34,193
- What's going on?
- Hetty and Trevor are having a huge argument.
460
00:19:34,193 --> 00:19:35,662
Shh, it's getting good.
461
00:19:35,662 --> 00:19:37,297
It's like dating my teacher,
and not in a hot way.
462
00:19:37,297 --> 00:19:39,066
You know what's not hot?!
463
00:19:39,066 --> 00:19:41,535
Displaying one's
genitalia at the tea table.
464
00:19:41,535 --> 00:19:44,570
It's because of a hero move!
465
00:19:44,570 --> 00:19:47,273
You know what? I'm done.
466
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:51,010
That makes two of us.
467
00:19:52,311 --> 00:19:55,281
Stephanie will be most pleased
with this a year from now.
468
00:19:55,281 --> 00:20:00,420
But she couldn't stop us. Owls.
469
00:20:00,420 --> 00:20:02,722
Owls.
470
00:20:04,490 --> 00:20:07,961
- Do you think they bought it?
- Hook, line and sinker.
471
00:20:07,961 --> 00:20:10,798
Then back into the shadows we go,
472
00:20:10,798 --> 00:20:13,467
where this mismatched travesty belongs.
473
00:20:13,467 --> 00:20:16,702
Now take me, you bare-assed libertine.
474
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:24,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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