All language subtitles for Corner Gas - 4x18 - Happy Campers

Yep, Owl Lake National Park,
three days.

It's gonna be great.

I don't think of you
as outdoorsy.

What? I'm outdoorsy.

I go out doors, in doors,
through doors, I'm crazy doorsy.

We go every year.
We love it.
Me and the boy.

Yeah, we love to camp,
me and the dad.

That doesn't have the
ring of truth to it.

Okay, Mom makes us.

There's the ring.

Goin' to Owl Lake?

Yeah, it's kind of
a father-son thing.

Wish I could go
to Owl Lake.

Well, you can.
Just not with us.

What's that?

Davis is trying to worm his
way in on our camping trip.

I think it would
be a nice idea.

We'd be happy to have ya.

Really?

No. Mom's makin' us.

* You can tell me that
your dog ran away *

* Then tell me that it
took three days *

* I've heard every joke,
I've heard every one you say *

* You think there's
not a lot goin' on *

* Look closer, Baby,
you're so wrong *

* And that's why you can
stay so long *

* Where there's not a lot
goin' on *

Whoa.

Hey, check it out.

I'm not looking. Last time
you said, "Check this out,"

you had a boil on your neck.

No. Look.

Every morning I get up and
do my hair and it looks bad,

so I put on the hat.

But not today.

Today, my hair looks good.

Hmm, not bad.

Wait.

Are you saying that you've
had a bad hair day

every day for 20 years?

At least.

Why do you think I always
got that hat on my head?

To muffle the voices?

Ah, I feel free
and hatless!

Today I'm gonna live!
Whoo-ooo, hoo-hoo!

*

*

* Good hair day

Geez, Dad, you call this a knot?
It's barely a tangle.

It's the one where the
bunny goes down the hole.

It's a sailor's knot.

Why would a sailor's knot
have a bunny in it?

There's no bunnies
on the open sea.

It's like a pet.
The bunny goes
down the hole.

It's a snake. And it goes around
the tree and under the fence.

You're out of your mind.
Here, give it.

Get off me. I'll do it.

It's nice to see you two having
a little father-son time.

Nice as in heart warming

or nice as in gladiator
blood sport?

A little of both.
Heart warming blood sport.

Where's Davis?

Oh, maybe Davis won't come.
We should go without Davis.

Now you're talkin'. Shove your
bunny down the hole. Let's go.

Oh, don't go without Davis.
You guys will have fun.

Hey, look.

I brought a waffle iron.

Well, try to have fun, anyway.

Tuna melt and
coleslaw to go.

I'm runnin' the place
while Brent's gone,

so busy, busy, busy.

Busy, busy, busy?
Oh, come on. What?

It is hardly busy enough
over there for one busy,

let alone three busys.

It's crazy busy.

I woulda said four
or five busys,

but I don't have that
kinda time. Too busy.

You have been sitting here
for the last 15 minutes

reading the menu, Miss Busy.

I suppose you have it harder?

Hmm.

Was that last order fries
or fries and gravy?

I serve more than fries here.

Hey, Lacey, can
I get some fries?
Just a minute.

I run a full service
dining establishment.

Dining establishment?

You're just above a greasy
spoon. Maybe an eatery.

Oh-ho, this is an eatery.

Look at all these people,
eatering.

It's a lot harder
than being a gas jockey.

I wouldn't know.
I'm not a gas jockey.

No, you're a gas
jockey's assistant.

If I could just
get the fries.

I'm in charge while Davis
is gone, so busy, busy, busy.

See ya.

Bye.

This is gonna be great!

Uh-huh.

We don't have to make waffles
the first night.

The first night we
can have beans.

In the morning
we can have waffles.

I brought maple syrup. But I
didn't bring blueberry syrup,

because I thought, camping,
we're roughin' it.

We're not going
camping, ya jackass.

Huh?

He said we're not going camping,

and then he called you
a jackass.

But you said we
were going camping.

We're wearing
camping clothes.

Do you really think we'd
go camping, together,

with each other?

Who do you think we are,
Opie and... Opie's dad,

Dave Sheriff, Matlock?

But I'm wearing
my camping hat.

What can I get ya?

I'll have a, uh...

Wait a minute,
what are you doin'?

Lacey and I were arguing
over whose job is harder,

so we switched.

You mean like on Gilligan's
Island or somethin'?

No, not like on
Gilligan's Island.

They didn't have jobs
on Gilligan's Island.

They did in that episode
where the Professor

made a bamboo movie camera
and Ginger made a movie.

An actor's a job. So's a
bamboo movie camera maker.

Aw, Hank, grow up.
An actor's not a job.

Look, just tell me
what you want.

All right, all right.

So, uh, I'll have a,
uh, cheese sandwich.

One cheese sandwich.

No, wait.

That was the old Hank.
This is the new Hank.

I gotta take a chance.

I'll have a, um...

a grilled cheese sandwich.

* Good hair day

Why would you play such
a mean trick on me?

It's not a trick on you.
It's a trick on Emma.

You just got in the way.

Mom makes us do this
trip every year.

Finally, we
got sick of it.

So now we just go into the city,
split up, each do our own thing.

The fact that it's a
trick on you too is just
the silver lining.

What do you do in the city?

I go to the library
and read magazines.

I got my library
buddies there.

Those guys are hobos.

Hobos ride trains.
These guys are intellectuals.

Roddy and Patches and Shy Pete.

One guy's got a top hat
with no top in it.

That's not a hobo?

Ach!

What about you?
What do you do in the city?

Uh...

Ha! The dark elf has
resisted your vorpal sword.

Yeah? Well, I'll use
the Crystal of Xanith

to weaken his magic armour.

Huh? I'll show him
who's vorpal.

I keep busy. The point is,
it's a system that works,

and you've blown it.

If Emma finds out, she'll
really make us go camping

and that'll ruin our quality
time away from each other.

Well, don't worry.

I can keep a secret.
I'm good at secrets.

Well, he missed big city life,
decided to go home.

In the middle of the night,

after he burned down
his own house.

Dorkus here can't
keep a story straight.

We need a plan.

Look into your hearts.

Just dig.

But I don't like to dig.

You're missin' the point. He
digs. That's the whole plan.

I like to dig.

What are we talkin' about?

Look, there's only
one way out of this.

We're gonna have to
actually go camping.

Ya-aay!

* Davis goes camping

Good mornin'.

The sun is shinin',
birds are singin'.

The stupid birds
woke me up.

Oh, oh, ow. Oh.

Oh, man, that mattress
is like that thick.

That thick if
ya lie on it.

It's good for ya.
It's roughin' it.

Cavemen slept on
better mattresses.

Cavemen who came to visit
other cavemen got to sleep

on better guest mattresses.

Coffee?

Now you're talkin'.

This coffee looks
like a stick.

Well, first we've got to
build a fire to boil the water

and make the coffee.

I'm goin' back to
my comfy mattress.

Me too.

Way to ruin the camping trip,
with camping.

Fill her up?

Oh, yeah, thanks, Brent.

I mean, Wanda,
I mean, Lacey.

Still no ball cap?
Yeah.

Last night I realized, as
long as I don't go to bed,

my good hair day never ends.

Ah. Well, that's a
logical assumption.

So you'll just
never sleep again?

Well, it's either that or
go back in time,

and I'm months away from
crackin' that nut.

Oh, yeah, time travel,
that's a tough one.

But not sleeping,
that's just a bad idea.

At least I'm not
tradin' jobs with Wanda.

That's a bad idea.

No, it isn't.
Things are goin' well.

Mmm, I'm glad you
traded jobs with Lacey.

This is going well.

Thanks.

It's not so tough, really.

You know the key
to good service?

I was being sarcastic.

Wrong. The key to good
customer service

is to listen to the customer,
value their input.

Do you have any
decaf coffee?

Yeah. It's called
tap water, princess,

and you can get it at home.

Look, I don't want
to criticize, Wanda,

but this macaroni and
cheese is really bland.

That's why I keep
salt at the counter.

And there's no salt.
Oh.

Look, if you want some
help, I like to cook.

I thought you were busy, busy,
busy, because Davis isn't here.

I don't know if you've
noticed, Wanda,

but Davis and I don't
really do anything.

I picked up on that, yeah.

Do we have to do this?

The portage is half
the fun of canoeing.

Really?

You mean the whole thing's only
gonna be twice as fun as this?

It's not much farther.

How much farther is it, Oscar?

Oscar?

Looking for these?

Yes, thank you. Nice try.

I wanna go to the library.

I wanna see Shy Pete
and Scratchy.

Who comes up
with these names?

Oh, Shy Pete does.

They call me Dimples.

Hey, Lacey.
Hey, Emma.

Hello?

Where's Wanda?

I think she's next door.

Typical.

You know, some of these
have three staples

and some only have two.

I need gas.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

Okay. I am on it.

Huh?

Why trade jobs?

That's the stupidest
thing you've ever done.

No, it isn't.

Can you think of
something stupider?

Buy a pie, get a turtle?

They're cute.
They're babies.

You know, I think I'm gonna
rent the extended version

of Lord of the Rings.

The extra two hours
might be interesting.

Hey, Mom.
I'm movin' to Dog River.

Lots of things.

Well, that's weird. The little
numbers aren't moving.

Well, when's the last time
you checked the reservoir?

Huh?

The thing underground
that holds the gas.

Where did you think
the gas came from?

This part?

I'll go call
the truck for you.

Thanks.

Emma, could you show me
how Brent does his inventory,

because I'm sorta confused
about that.

Do you think there's
owls in these woods?

Who cares?

It's dangerous.
They're predators.

If you're a mouse.

Once they taste human flesh,
they lose all fear.

They don't eat human flesh.
Do they? Davis?

Well...

Why is this fire always
blowin' smoke in my eyes?

Because it hates you.

Let's just make
the best of it.

I'll go get some sticks,
we'll toast marshmallows.

Let's sing a round.

* One bottle of pop,
two bottle of pop,
three bottle of pop... *

And now, the Yellow Warbler.

Do you hear the difference
from the Eastern Warbler?

And the operator said to her,

"We've traced the call
and it's coming from"...

"Coming from inside the house. "

Oh. You know that one too, eh?

Brent made a break
for it, didn't he?

He won't get far.

I got the car keys.

Good thinkin'.

Okay, this is a
repeat-after-me song.

* There was a bear...

I can't believe we didn't
bring any booze.

Hank.

Hank!
Muffins!

Go home. Get some sleep.

Have a bath.
Have a series of baths.

Are ya nuts? I can't afford
to get my hair wet.

Hank, your hair is
all in your head.

It's a psychological thing.

It's one of your many
psychological things.

Ya think?

Yeah, maybe you're right.

I finished the
inventory manifests.

I just have to do
the purchase orders.

Aw, thanks, Emma.

I'll get it.

Hm? Oh.

No, you don't have to.

Ah, I let her help me out.
It fills her days.

Willie Nelson!

Mornin'.

Rise and shine.

Do ya have to hit all
three sides of that thing?

Couldn't you at
least hit a biangle?

What time is it?
Six o'clock.

Really? It feels like morning.

I'm not gonna let you
waste a whole day again.

I've planned some activities.
First off, capture the flag.

Are those waffles?

Dibs!

Ahh!

Hey, you had two
the first time.

Davis!

Hey, my turn.

Davis!

I'm not touchin' ya,
ya can't do anything.

I'm not touchin' ya,
you can't do anything.

I'm not touchin' ya,
you can't do anything.

Davis!

He's makin' a
break for it.

Things seem to be
going well here.

Well, I adapt fast.

Adapt and overcome,
like a marine.

Here we are.

Eggs Florentine with
braised lamb shanks.

Well, marines don't do
their own cooking either.

Not so easy, is it,
smartypants?

Nothin' to it.

I mean, a couple of people
said they'd never be back,

but, uh, well, that's
the price of business.

So, how are things
where the real work is?

Corner Gas? Easy breezy.

I have got it humming
like clockwork.

When you restock the shelves,
put the older dry goods

to the front,
so they sell first.

Do you smell lamb?

Hey. Notice anything different?

Yeah, we know.
Good hair day.

No, no, not that.
I took your advice.

I went home, got some sleep,
took a shower and then...

no hat.

What about the second
shower I requested?

Well, things to do.

Hey, today is the first day
in the single journey

that begins with a step,
or however that goes.

Well, good for you.

Did his hair look
weird to you?

Like he combed it
with a blender.

Please let me go.

I want to go home.

I don't wanna wear
my camping hat.

What are we gonna do now?

If we go home early,
Emma will catch on

and it will ruin our
father-son-away-
from-each-other time.

What was your digging idea?
Maybe we should try that.

Look, I have a plan that doesn't
involve a shallow grave.

Sir Lightmage casts a
magic missile at the ogre.

Hey, guys.

This is Shy Pete.

You gonna eat that?

It's dice.

Hey, Emma.
Hey, Karen.

Chili cheese dog?

Why would I want a
chili cheese dog?

I don't know. For some reason
I thought you would. Hmm.

Lacey's been working me
like a rented mule.

I didn't realize how hard
it was to run that place.

It can't be that hard.
Oscar used to do it.

That's what I thought.

Okay, well, take a break.

Let me tempt you with some of
my famous avocado tuna sashimi.

Oh, Karen. Just because you
can't cook regular food

doesn't mean you have to
change the menu all around.

Hey, don't insult
my cooking.

At least I'm not over
there being a gas jockey.

You think it's so easy?

You can't just
switch jobs.

She insulted me.

Oh, don't be childish.
What's next?

A Ginger movie
made out of bamboo?

What?

Duty calls.

How many kinds of
meatloaf should I make?

*

Ow!

*

Ow!

How's the meatloaf?

Good. But I ordered
a cheeseburger.

Well, eat the meatloaf.

Can I have some pie?
Finish the meatloaf first.

Emma, I'm new to the
restaurant business.

But if you let people choose
what they want to eat

they get less pouty and huffy.

I made five different
meat loaves.

They're not gonna
go to waste.

Wanda, I broke the foamy.

It's called a squeegee.

I broke the foamy on
the squeegee. Do you
have another one?

What's wrong with my meatloaf?

It's in the storeroom
behind the cleaning supplies.

Corner Gas has a storeroom?

I want you to know
I put the hat back on.

Your meatloaf's good. But
I wanted a cheeseburger.

Actually, I heard
there was sashimi,

but it's not on the menu.

I can do sashimi.
Did you get another squeegee?

I got a guy who needs
his windows squeeged.

You can't force a good hair day.
That's-that's what I learned.

I'll get another squeegee.

No fair. If you go help Karen,
who's gonna help me?

I'll help you.

So it's decided.
The hat stays on.

Can I get you
anything else?

Do you have sashimi?
Eat your meatloaf.

I love and respect ya all.

Does pie still
come with turtles?

Well, I guess we
learned a lesson.

Yep.

All things considered, I'm
better at my job than you are.

And?

And so forth?

And I'm better at
my job than you are.

Actually, I'm better
at Wanda's job

and Karen's better at Lacey's.

Not important.

Hey, we're back.

Did ya bring me anything?

No.

Ah, I've lost interest.

Ah, the great outdoors,

where we just returned
from camping.

We were outdoors
the whole time.

How was it?
Excellent.

Excellent family bonding
and friend bonding,

in the woods and what have you.

I enjoyed the camping.

It was outdoors, and fun.

Why does it seem
like you're lying?

We played fantasy role playing
games in some guy's basement.

Get a shovel.