All language subtitles for The.Big.Bus_en

Will members of the press
please get on the bus.

Hi!

Will members of the press
please get off the bus.

Close it up, close it up.

Today, you're going to see history made.

Cyclops is the biggest project
of its kind ever undertaken by man.

It represents $12 million of capital
and years of research.

To fill you in on some details, here's
our Project Designer, Miss Kitty Baxter.

Thank you, Mr Ames.
This is indeed a proud day for all of us.

My father, Irwin Baxter,
is arming the nuclear engine

that will propel the mighty Cyclops.

Hey!

- Here they are.
- All right, this is it.

- Radiation shield?
- Holding, Professor.

- Radiation level?
- Normal.

All right, gentlemen. Let's begin.

Hold entry!

I was afraid this might happen.

Scotty, would you mind?

Thanks, Scotty.

- Scotty, good work.
- Uh-uh...

...thus was born
the nuclear-powered bus.

My father and I are proud
to have brought Cyclops to Coyote.

It's fitting that Coyote Bus Lines...

- Pop!
- Cyclops!

Fire trucks are coming in
and slowing down.

They've stopped.
Firemen are getting off.

They're dragging hoses towards the
lab. They may put water on the lab.

Yes, they are definitely shooting water
all over the lab.

Watch it, you guys!

Hey! C'mon, let's get those rigs
outta here!

Break 'em up! Come on! Move 'em out!

A big explosion has hit
the lab at Cyclops Proving Grounds.

The emergency crews
are putting out the flames.

How will this affect history's first
non-stop bus from New York to Denver?

This is the latest unfortunate
event at Project Cyclops.

Still unexplained is the flood which
inundated the giant bus hangar.

Some suspect sabotage,
others say foul play.

Do dark forces want to slam the brakes
on this project?

My judgement is to leave
those answers to you.

We should only ask the questions.

Good bomb, huh?

An explosion happened.
They're trying to keep people away.

- Scotty, where's Dad?
- They took him over there.

You got a statement, Miss Baxter?

- Pop! Pop, are you...
- He can't hear you.

- Oh, my God.
- I can, too. I can hear her.

- Pop...
- I thought he was resting.

- We'd better get him to hospital.
- He can't be moved.

Any movement will endanger him.

- Give it to me straight, Doc.
- Take a look at this.

The explosion blew it across the room.
It's a St Christopher's medal.

It's dangerously close to the left ventricle.

- Get him to hospital.
- He can't be moved.

- What do we do?
- Sign this to relieve me of responsibility

for medical judgements.

- But you're a doctor.
- I intend to remain one.

Sign here, please. Also, right here.

- Professor!
- Wait a minute. It's all right.

Our Project Director, Shorty Scotty,
and his top assistant, Jack.

- How do you do?
- Scotty, what did we do wrong?

No, Professor. It was no accident.
Somebody planted a bomb.

What?

- Who?
- What are you talking about?

- I know who left the window open.
- You blame me for everything.

- Is the bus OK?
- Yes, it's OK.

But we have a bigger problem.
We've no driver or co-driver.

Briggs' clutch foot is busted
and Ed's shifting arm's shot.

We'll just have to get
ourselves new drivers.

But only a genius can learn
a rig like Cyclops in two weeks.

- I know one man who can handle it.
- No, Pop, not him. Not Dan Torrance.

He's trouble, but he knows a lug wrench.

What happened between you is history.
We're talking buses now, girl.

I'm sorry, Pop. I can't do it.

Then I'm... pulling the chain on myself.

- Hey!
- No, no...

All right! All right, Pop.

If you want Dan, I'll get you Dan.

Thank you. Thank you, Kitty.

Pop?

- It's all right. He's faking.
- Thank God.

Well, I'll be dipped. That's Torrance.

Watch yourself...

It's Torrance.

Give him room.

- What'll you have?
- Whiskey.

Drink up and get out, Torrance.

We don't want your kind around here.

Who's "we", Goldie?

Is that how you feel, Whitey?
What about you, Blackie?

C'mon, speak up!

I see you hidin' back there, Red.

What about you guys?
Pinkie, Greenie, Brownie?

We were all rookies together.

Guys like you give bussin' a bad name.

We all remember Mount Diablo.

Who can forget Mount Diablo?

You know there were no charges
brought against me.

When your bus crashed
in the mountains,

we all know what really happened.
There was only one way to stay alive.

I don't care what anybody says.

I did not eat 110 passengers.

Before the crash you weighed 180.

When they found you pickin' your teeth,
you weighed 237. Explain that.

I ate the seats! I ate the luggage!

I boiled the floor mats,
just like they taught us.

Why was there no trace of passengers?

My co-driver, Bendix,
was eating people left and right.

I swear I couldn't stop him.
I was delirious with fever.

You didn't wanna stop him.
You yourself said you ate a foot.

- He did eat a foot.
- Yeah?

Look, Bendix made a stew.
I had no idea there was a foot in it.

You eat one lousy foot,
they call you a cannibal.

What a world.

I'll call you more than a cannibal.

I'll call you a double-clutchin',
lane-changin' roadhog!

Gimme a shot at 'im, baby.

Let's even the odds a little, huh?

Wait a minute. This bum is mine.

- What's your name?
- Shoulders O'Brien.

I hate to see a guy down
when he's kicked.

Watch it! He's got a broken milk carton.

All right! Huh?

One of you wants to be first, huh?
C'mon!

Get goin', Dan.
You heard me. Get goin'.

Thanks, kid. I won't forget this.

Watch it, he's got a broken candle!

I don't like the looks of this.
You're still running a slight temperature.

You better keep your socks on.

- I'll get it.
- Get the phone, Jack.

Parking lot. Yes, Kitty, go ahead.

Whaddya mean, you can't find Dan?

Check his hangouts,

all those cheap hotels around
the terminal he used to take you to.

Kitty, get a move on.
We've only got five days.

We'd've had the reactor in by now
if Jack hadn't lost the keys.

Scotty, I'll take a look myself.

You can't be moved.
I gotta run more tests on you.

Now, fill this up
or you get no dinner tonight.

Ironman, I've been with
the representatives of the oil companies.

Tell them they'll sell more oil than ever.

I'll destroy that nuclear bus
the way I did the solar engine.

They're worried about
the public becoming suspicious.

They didn't when Grandfather
sank The Titanic.

I told them that after each disaster
there are investigations, but no proof.

Pop, they're trying to run me
out of the business.

I can't get a job since Mount Diablo.

They say I ate 110 people.
Did you ever see me eat anybody?

That's ridiculous. I didn't eat anybody.
One lousy foot...

Morty's robbing me. I look at the books

and find thousands of dollars
I'm supposed to be responsible for.

I don't know anything about it...

I can get another job, but I'm a bus driver
who has to drive, because...

... bet you thought I'd forgotten.

Happy Birthday!
You don't think I'd forget, do you?

- You know that...
...now that I'm living with Louise...

Weirdos.

Look, Pop. Don't worry about it.
I'll take care of myself.

I'll be back on top like I always was.
You just wait and see...

- Dan.
- Kitty.

- Dan.
- Kitty.

- I thought you'd be here.
- You're lookin' great, kid.

- So am I.
- Me too.

That goes for both of us.

I guess the rumours are true.
You're on the skids.

Are you kidding? See this deluxe
arrangement? What you talkin' about?

The big lies are the only big thing
about you. Your heart isn't.

What happened in Akron wasn't my fault.
Lefty got sick. I had to take the express.

You wanted to do anything
but walk down the aisle with me.

You couldn't give up your little carhop.

- Kitty, there was never anybody but you.
- Look!

I didn't come here to argue,
but on business. You wanna drive?

As long as I get my price.
I'm in it for the bucks now, baby.

- We pay top dollar, 20 and 10.
- I want 20 and 20.

- Nobody gets 20 and...
- Dan Torrance does!

- 20 bucks a day, 20 cents a mile.
- OK, you got it.

- When do we start?
- Yesterday.

Good. That means
I already made myself 20.

Do you have a bigger umbrella?
I could catch cold.

I don't care if you get pneumonia.
I told you, you can't be moved.

- Nuclear reactor indicator.
- Upper right console, amber light.

Right.

- Nuclear reactor shut-off?
- Overhead control box, red switch.

Right. Nuclear... cigarette lighter?

Above the nuclear windshield wipers.

No! There isn't one.
Either you know this or you don't.

I've been up for four nights with this.

- You wanted 20 and 20. Start earning it.
- I'm taking a break.

- Dan!
- Shoulders!

Look up there! Whoo! Got you!

Come here and meet a swell dame.

This is the guy I told you about.
Shoulders O'Brien, Kitty Baxter.

- How do you do?
- Nice to meet you.

So, this is Coyote.
Can't thank you enough, Dan.

- I want him to be my co-driver.
- We can't take just anybody.

No offence, but Ed Collins was our
co-driver and he's tough to replace.

- Shoulders can fill his shoes.
- But can he fit into his uniform?

- Can you wear a 42 long?
- Well, I...

- Can you?
- Yes or no?

- Answer the woman.
- I usually take a 44.

I'm sorry. Thanks for dropping by.

- Dan, I tried.
- All right, Kitty.

He gets into Collins' pants,
or I'm walking outta Briggs' shoes.

Take it or leave it.

All right, I'll risk it.

Welcome aboard, Shoulders.

Look up there.

- You got the...
- Now, please...

We'll blame it on Mother Nature and
hit them with an electronic earthquake.

I'm sick of earthquakes.
That's the wrong move.

- But it'll stop 'em. We'll destroy the bus.
- Anybody can.

- Our job is to discredit it forever.
- But...

- No wonder Father had no faith in you.
- He never gave me a chance.

He gave you everything.
You got the skates, the sled.

He even gave you the iron lung!
You got it, not me.

Because I was the sick one.
Now go plant a bomb on Cyclops.

You should all be proud
to be part of a team

that has brought buses out of the
Dark Ages of mass transportation.

Tonight, Cyclops opens its mighty eye.
It's the dawn of a new day in bus travel.

Ladies and gentlemen...

...Cyclops!

OK, let's kill the light!
Lock it up for tonight!

There's more champagne
for anybody who wants it,

and nothing for those who don't.

You're still the same.
Your dough's always rising.

That's right.

So, why don't you heat up the oven?

It's over for us, Dan.

The pilot light's out
and the kitchen's closed.

Sure it is.

Dan. Dan! Dan!

- Daddy...
- I'm sorry, I didn't know my foot was...

It's all right. Listen, it's been
a lovely party, but I'm worried.

If someone could get in once
to plant a bomb, they could do it again.

We'll be ready for 'em this time.

When we finished tonight,
I locked up the lab and left the lights on.

- They'll think someone's still working.
- Right.

Yes. It just might work.

Anybody working in here?

The commuter run to Trenton will be
leaving in five minutes.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Get the trunks. No questions. Absolutely.

- Will you hold it right there?
- No questions, just pictures.

No more.

Trailways departs for Tucson,
Boarding Area 3.

But, Joseph,
dating isn't the answer either.

I don't know what I wanna do.
But I know I wanna do it.

We all want to do it.
But we must think of God.

Ah, here we are.

The commuter run to Trenton
will be leaving in five minutes.

Move! Camille Levy,
non-stop to Denver.

What on earth are those dogs doing?
That's my new fall line.

They're trained to sniff out explosives,
marijuana, contraband,

and contraceptives.

I like you.

- Where can we go to be alone?
- What?

You heard me. Alone.
You and me. Together. La due.

- Er...
- Comprends? No?

I'm on duty... There's
a janitor's closet by the men's room.

That's good enough. If it's not you,
it'll be some other tacky twerp.

Would you believe
I'm runnin' away from home?

Lloyd thinks I'm still on the roof
fixing the TV antenna.

Oh, work, work, work.

Fifty years of cookin', cleanin', washin'.

You know what I say?
I say, "Upchuck on all that."

Let me tell you about passengers.
You gotta treat 'em like people.

They look to the driver as their father.

Do good by them, they'll do good by you.

Sybil wants a seat in the rear,
I want one up front.

You didn't make that reservation.

- This is highly irregular.
- So is he.

- Prunes, bran flakes, nothing works.
- Sybil, stop it.

- You wanna talk about it, Claude?
- If we can talk about your father.

- And his dirty money.
- No...

Do you know who her father is?
Edward Collard.

- Please, Claude.
- The father of poison gas.

All right. All right. All right!

- I'm the daughter of poison gas! Happy?
- Euphoric!

- I hate you, Claude.
- I hate you, Sybil.

- Claude!
- Oh, God!

- Oh, God!
- Come here.

Sir, right here in the corner.

Back in the right-hand side,
next to her.

- It's gettin' about that time, kid.
- Yeah.

Let's get ready.

Before we get started,
there's something I gotta tell you.

- You know why they call me Shoulders?
- Sure.

You got those big shoulders.

- No, I drive on the shoulders all the time.
- What?

I got some wacky in my middle ear.
I can't keep off the shoulders.

Don't turn me in.
I gotta get my confidence back.

If I can just drive down...

You're kidding, Shoulders?

It's a joke, right? Hey!

Hey!

- What the hell's goin' on?
- It's OK.

- Every once in a while I black out.
- What?

Don't worry. I only black out
when we're movin'.

OK, Dan. Let's get moving.

Son of a bitch.

- Excuse me, Father, are you a priest?
- Who wants to know?

I wanted to say, last time
I was on a bus I freaked out.

You being here makes me feel better.
God gave me the seat next to you.

Think so? If it was God, why didn't
you get a fancy window seat like mine?

It's strange that I, Kudos, a doubter,
luxuriate in a window seat,

while you, ageing with age, get older yet

in that disgrace of an aisle seat.

Where is your God now, old woman?

Jesus, I'm sorry I asked.

Have a nice nap?

Good afternoon. My name is Kitty Baxter,
and I'm the designer of the bus.

Thank you. Thank you.
Cyclops is a nuclear-powered bus.

It's unlikely there'll be a radiation leak,
but we've taken safety precautions.

Mary Jane Beth Sue will demonstrate.

If there's a radiation leak, God forbid,
a protective device will drop

from the compartment above your head.

- Jesus!
- Oh, God.

The procedure is quite simple.

First put on the underwear,
which you'll find in the leg of the suit.

Unzip the suit, unsnap the rear panels,
hook up the boots,

and attach the life support system.

Then snap up the mask,
buckle the gloves, zip up the suit,

snap up the rear panels.
Presto, change-o.

- Any questions?
- Is somebody gonna help us?

How we gonna know we got it on right?

Simply look for these tell-tale signs:
Profuse bleeding of the gums,

hair falling out,
and intermittent blindness.

- Wouldn't stop my father's gas.
- Nothing would.

Cute, Claude.

I'm Tommy Joyce
and I'll play your choice

A slow tune, a show tune
A love song, a sad song

Never a wrong song
Because I'm Tommy Joyce

- Welcome to the Orient Lounge.
- What'll it be, sir?

It makes no difference.
I've only six months to live.

Six months to live
That's all they'll give him

Six months to live
Not much time to live

He may see summer
But he won't see fall

So forget about Christmas
Thank you.

Before I die, I promised myself I'm gonna
see the Seven Wonders of the World.

- Starting with the Rockies.
- They're not a Wonder.

They're not?

There're no winners
in a game of losers

- Yes, sir?
- Do it again, hmm?

- Yes, sir.
- Why did they throw me out?

Why did the veterinarians disbar me
and take away my dog and cat hospital?

Why? Because I was
ahead of my time, that's why.

I was the only one with the courage
to put an IUD in a rabbit.

Doggy doctor, that's his beat
Four-legged friends he likes to treat

Pigeons and squirrels think he's all reet
Doggy doctor

- It wasn't my fault.
- I'm sure it wasn't. Bow-wow.

52 bottles of beer on the wall

If one of those bottles
should happen to fall, 51 bottles...

Hold it, we better check in.

Cyclops Control, this is Cyclops One.
Come in.

Hear you loud and clear.
Give us a reading.

We're travelling at a speed of 52mph.
Our elevation is ground level.

- Get that down?
- No. You told me to...

- You're meant to be a top assistant.
- Take it easy, will you?

You're right on schedule, Cyclops.

- Test the automatic tyre changer.
- Roger.

Jettison number four.

Number four jettisoned.

- Replace number four.
- Replacing number four.

Welcome to the Orient Lounge. Hey...

I know what bitterness is.
I shake hands with it every morning.

- Oh, yeah?
- I haven't lived yet. Now I'm gonna die.

You call that bitterness?
You don't know what it is.

- They disbarred me for life.
- But they didn't disbar you from life.

- Go ahead, talk bitterness with me now.
- I'm through talking bitterness.

- I wanna talk hate. What do you hate?
- This piano player.

Thank you.

- Test automatic washing mechanism.
- Oh, yeah.

- Test automatic washing mechanism.
- Roger.

- Activate AWM.
- Roger. Activate AWM.

We believe Cyclops has broken
the recreational barrier.

Watch your feet.

Right this way, folks.

Having fun, but... Watch it!
Easy does it. Safety first.

Remember the recreation rules!
You over there, watch your hands!

Get your hands off that girl.
C'mon, everybody.

- Better test the aerodynamics.
- Cyclops Control to Cyclops.

- Can you test the aerodynamics?
- Roger.

I'm gonna take this baby up to 90.

55.

65.

Back to 55.

- What's wrong?
- Cop behind.

No tickets. Abort.

- Abort!
- Dan Torrance aborts for no man!

70.

75.

75 and accelerating.

- Buffeting at 80! Wind resistance.
- Take her down, Dan.

Negative! Let's find out
what this baby can do.

Don't be a fool. This is an order.

- Take her down.
- Negative! Here we go.

88.

89.

90!

No wind resistance. We did it!
We're breaking wind at 90!

The aerodynamics work.
He's breaking wind at 90!

Yeah!

We're gonna make it, boys and girls.
We're ahead of schedule.

- Alex, when will the bomb go off?
- When you'll be having your supper.

- I've already had supper.
- Did I miss supper again? Damn it.

- I hear you two are on honeymoon.
- With her?

I'm sorry, I thought you were married.

We are until midnight,
when our divorce becomes final.

Coyote Bus Lines welcomes you to our
beautiful Bicentennial Dining Room.

I'd like to toast our handsome captain.
Thank him for inviting us to his table.

To our captain.
May he get what he deserves.

- To our captain.
- Thank you.

- The same to you, darling.
- Right. Here. Thank you.

- Miss Levy.
- Cheers. Up yours.

- Captain.
- Thank you.

Father Kudos, would you say
the benediction?

Er, well... I suppose you want
something about God.

Hold it, Padre, hold it.

I'd like to make a toast to my
ex-husband-to-be.

Little Claude rides a bus.

- How he loves to make a fuss.
- Sybil, stop it.

- What secrets does he keep from us?
- I'm warning you.

Little Claude wears a truss!

- I love you, Claude.
- I love you, Sybil.

C'mon, c'mon.

- Bucket of cold water works every time.
- Knock it off!

Get back to your seats.
This is a formal dinner.

You settled down?
Got it outta your system?

Let's eat, huh?

Vito! Bring in the bicentennial pig.

- Yeuch.
- I put braces on a pig once.

He had an overbite. You should see
his teeth now. What a handsome pig.

- You didn't order pig at Mount Diablo.
- Oh, dear.

- Here we go again.
- You were a pig at Mount Diablo.

- Here we go again.
- He ate my father!

- He ate your what?
- Oh, perking up.

- You ate her father?
- I did not.

Your captain has gorged himself
on 110 people.

- That's a lie! He only ate a foot.
- Ah-ha!

- One foot. I swear to God.
- And here's the shoe that fits that foot.

I haven't seen a wing tip in years.

You call this evidence?
It could be anybody's.

- Wait! I remember Mount Diablo.
- Yeah.

- Dan Torrance.
- I was cleared of that charge.

I ate the seats, the luggage,
one foot, and the floor mats. That's it.

You're not gonna smack your lips on us.

- It's a gun!
- No, Miss Levy.

Dan's a good man.
He's never eaten a whole person.

If you pull that trigger,
you'll have to shoot me first.

If you're gonna shoot them,
you'll have to shoot me.

I've only got six months to live.

I've got plenty of bullets.

If they find a cure for me...
Do you mind getting it first?

Well, I thought my services
might be required...

Look, excuse me a second.

I'm the captain of this bus.
I'm the guy you've got the quarrel with.

If you shoot anybody, shoot me.

You don't have the guts to do it.
I can look in your eyes and tell

you just can't kill another human being.

- She can't.
- She doesn't want to.

- What was that?
- What happened?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- Claude.
- What you shoot him for?

- He wasn't even in line.
- My Claude!

Captain Torrance to the cockpit.

What's the matter? Is anything wrong?

You're on the shoulders, Shoulders.

It's not my fault.
We cracked a rim on rear tyre six.

- Put in alternate six.
- The automatic changer's jammed.

- He's right, it's jammed.
- Six is goin' down fast.

- I better check it out.
- You don't know how. I'm gonna do it.

- It's dangerous. No place for a woman.
- I'm the designer. I'll do it.

- You are not!
- I am too!

- I'm gonna do this for your own good.
- And I'm gonna do this for yours.

I'm dyin'!

- Dan, what's the matter?
- Looks like he got kicked in the nuts.

Can you hear me?

- Dan, get back here...
- Listen to me.

We got trouble.
There's a bomb down here.

I wanna talk with the crew
in their quarters.

- What are you going to do?
- Get moving!

- Should I stop?
- Negative. It'll alarm the passengers.

They paid for non-stop.

- Sorry, I never thought of it that way.
- Just patch me into the crew.

Crew, I don't wanna
alarm the passengers,

but there's a bomb on this bus.

My goof.

A bomb, Frank, a bomb!

Tell them to stop the bus. It's not
sensible to go on down the highway...

Scotty, wake up.
We got a bomb on Cyclops.

- A bomb's on the bus.
- You sure?

- They said.
- Who?

How do I know?

Verify your information
before you wake me up!

Why do you pick on everything
I say and do?

I hate that stupid bus.
I hate you! I quit!

- Jack...
- I quit! I quit!

- Scotty...
- Jack quit.

Where you goin'?
There's a bomb on Cyclops.

I'm not gonna lose the first top assistant
I ever had. Jack, can't you take a joke?

OK, now. Easy does it.

Kitty, listen, I've opened the bomb.

- I gotta get it outta here.
- Wait! Don't touch it!

I've found what bomb it is.

- Has it got a dial with a red number?
- That's right.

Jane's Book of Bombs says
it's a Petard Diabolique 342.

- Not too much trouble.
- Right.

Here's how it works.
It's got a single hand-timing mechanism.

- Four wires at the top.
- Right.

One leads to the trigger,
one to the triggering mechanism,

one to the trigger guard
and one to all three.

There are also three fake triggers
and four fake trigger guards.

One trigger looks like a detonator, one
like a trigger guard, one like a trigger.

- Right.
- Now, the detonators...

You've eight detonators,
but they're all fake.

This bomb is no fake.
I gotta do somethin' fast.

- I'm gonna cut the yellow wire.
- No, don't!

It could be the blue one. You'll blow it!

I'm cutting yellow.

Kitty, I did it! I disarmed the bomb!
Everything's OK.

I'm coming back up.

Everything'll be fine.

- Is there something to calm us?
- Some cake.

Cake gives you pimples.

...if I pray for you, I pray for everybody.
I don't wanna get into that.

I'm so sorry I yelled at you.

I spoke to Scotty.
You were right about the yellow wire.

What is it? You all right?

- What is it?
- I cut the blue one.

Well, that's...

Get the wheel, Dan!

I've worked some tough rooms,
but this is ridiculous.

Dr Kurtz!

- My husband... My ex...Claude's hurt.
- I only work on animals.

- Perfect!
- A bird, a reptile, but...

- I have faith in you, Doctor.
...a human being?

Easy, boy. Hold still now, boy.
Take it easy. Easy.

I think his paw's broken.
Easy, boy. Give me my bag.

Everything's all right. Woof, woof, woof.

Cyclops Control, this is Cyclops One!

Emergency! Mother's Day. Mother's Day!

Hello, handsome.

Don't leave. Join the party.

What are you doing?
How can you bathe at a time like this?

I've seen it all, done it all.
What difference does it make?

- Il fato.
- And I thought I didn't care.

I care. I live for the here and now,
not the then, was, should, would.

- If only I could.
- You can.

You don't understand. I never...
I've only got six months to live.

Stop wasting time. Hop in, Bush.

Thank you, but I...

I could. Yeah.

Why not? I can.

I wanna live! I wanna love!
I wanna sing and dance!

No more worries!
No more responsibilities!

I don't care any more! I'm free! I'm free!

- You feeling all right?
- Thanks, Doctor. A lot better.

That's good. Your nose is colder.
That's a good sign when...

I... I did... I fixed...
What do those MDs know?

Take away the fur, tail and funny ears,
people are just like cats and dogs.

I can do that kind of...
I... I'm Dr Kurtz.

Pull into Springfield for repairs.

- Negative! We'll repair en route.
- Stop at Springfield. That's an order.

Scotty! I talked to Baxter.
He agrees about Springfield.

- What about Jack's raise?
- That can wait.

That's it.

Oh, come on, Jack. Hey, hold it.
Jack! Now, listen.

You gotta wait a minute. Jack...
Oh, Jack, come back.

She's not slowing down.
I can't slow her down!

The brakes are shot.
Kill the ignition, Shoulders!

- Roger.
- Kill it!

Nothin's happening. I'll have to...

- Stop!
- Kitty, take the wheel. I'll slow her down.

- I haven't got my licence on me.
- Take the wheel!

Cyclops One, do you read me?
This is Springfield.

We are foaming up.
Repeat, we are foaming up.

Emergency vehicles are now in position.
Over and over.

I can hardly hold it.

- I didn't know it would be like this.
- Driving a bus is no snap.

Emergency isn't working.
You'd better talk to the passengers.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Kitty Baxter.

Please take your seats
and extinguish all cigarettes.

We are in a normal driving pattern
and about to park in Springfield.

On behalf of your captain and crew,
Coyote hopes you enjoy your first stop

in our non-stop trip
between New York and Denver.

Cyclops One, do you read me?
This is Springfield.

We are all foamed up.
We are all foamed up.

Reduce your speed.
Repeat, reduce your speed.

Look out, we're goin' through a light.
We gotta stop it.

Cyclops One. Maintain your attitude
in approach. Stay on runway.

Cyclops One, do you read? Reduce
your speed. Reduce your speed.

Cyclops One. Why did you do that?
Repeat, why did you do that?

Scotty, I can't stop her! She won't go
below 40. I'll check the fulcrums.

- Wake him up.
- Right.

- He's gonna kill us!
- C'mon, everybody.

If you're gonna kill us,
we're taking over the bus.

- You wanna take it over?
- That's right.

Who's gonna drive it? Huh?
C'mon, speak up.

- Who can handle this?
- Be a man, raise your hand, you lizard.

- He can do it.
- The lizard'll drive.

Yeah!

Oh, he can, huh?
Let's just see if he can.

You wanna turn left.
When do you signal?

50ft, 100ft, 600ft?

You come to an intersection. There's
an ambulance, police car and fire engine.

- Who has the right of way?
- I do?

Hospital zone. School zone.
What's your speed limit?

Here's an easy one.
What do you do at railroad tracks?

- Open your doors!
- When?

Before, during or after?

You don't know.

That's sad, pal,
'cause you just killed everybody.

- Oh...
- Too bad...

You're so weak,
you make me want to puke.

Back to your seats.
You're in good hands.

Captain Torrance to the cockpit.
Emergency. Double red alert!

They're just code words.
We use 'em all the time. Don't worry.

- Now what?
- What do you mean?

- You called me. Red alert.
- Oh, yeah. We're pickin' up speed.

We're speeding up.

- Figure a way to slow us down.
- Lay off, Dan.

- I'm down in the dumps as it is.
- Are you not tellin' us something?

Jack quit for good. He just walked out,
didn't leave a note, nothin'...

But who cares about Jack?

- Jack again?
- Walked out. No note, nothin'...

Oh, my God.

Get movin', Scotty. We need help.

Well, I'm all packed.

- You're a free woman, Sybil.
- Funny, you seem different to me now.

- That is funny.
- You know what's funnier?

Although we're single,
I could kinda go for a guy like you.

I'll tell you something even funnier.
I could go for someone like you.

That is funnier than mine.

- Maybe we can have a drink some time.
- I'll be free.

Where'll you stay?

Around. I'll be in touch.

- Claude...
- Sybil.

...take care of yourself.
- You too.

We've had a request.
Tangerine, hey

She is all they claim, yeah
With her eyes of night

And her lips as bright as flame

And I've seen she's...
That's my Tangerine...

OK, Dan, the professor says
hook up the fulcrum to your emulator.

Bypass the inundator. That should
slow you down. You copy?

Cross your fingers.

- Shoulders, bypass the inundator.
- Roger, bypassing.

Everybody be calm!

Stop it, please.
That's her life support system.

Quickly now. Quickly, everyone.
Seconds count.

Tangerine, hey
When she dances by

Nice goin'. You shorted the alarm,
heating, air conditioning, everything.

You promised it would work, Professor.

You can't blame me, I'm a very sick man.

Doctor, take me back to the parking lot.

- Ironman, Ironman, Ironman...
- Shh, she's sleeping.

Cyclops is on schedule.
I said a bomb wouldn't work.

The alternative
is the electronic earthquake.

- No.
- Let me prepare one.

- We're not ready for an earthquake.
- I won't leave until you let me do one.

All right, do your lousy earthquake.
Now, get out and leave us.

Thank you, Ironman.

Hello, my sweet.

So far, so good, Scotty.
We've held her steady at 45 since dawn.

Over and out.

We're comin' up awful fast
on Harbinger Curve.

- Are you sure?
- It's right there in green and light green.

At last... Dan Torrance
meets Harbinger Curve.

That's where my old man bought it.

OK, kid. Get ready
for the ride of your life.

- Grab the brake.
- Roger, grabbin' brake.

OK, Harbinger Curve... Here I come.

Slow her down.

I think something's wrong
with the brakes.

Brake's not holdin', Dan.
If we only had more drag.

We gotta try something fast.

- Raise the flags!
- Roger, raising flags.

It's helping. We're gonna make it.

We'll never make Harbinger Curve.

- Get the passengers in crash position.
- Negative! They'll only panic.

Bunch of cry-babies.

Why are you takin' this road today?

I just felt like it. Where will fate take us?

Harbinger Curve
isn't gonna buy me. No, sir.

Why you wearin' white socks
with uniform?

- That's all I got.
- I got an extra pair you can have later.

- My, my.
- What say?

My, my.

- Something hit us!
- What was it?

A '53 Chevy.

Hi, welcome aboard the Big Bus.

On behalf of our captain and co-captain,
welcome to the Oriental Lounge.

I'm gonna throw her into reverse.
Hang on!

- You all right, kid?
- Yeah.

Some ride, huh?

Holy shit!

- What the...?
- I'm gonna back it up!

It's been 26 years
since my last confession.

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
God bless Mom and Dad...

Knock it off!

Take a break, a little cause to pause
here on the Big Bus.

- Here's what we have to do.
- What?

Shift some weight from the front
of the bus to the back.

- OK. I'll go.
- Not you!

There's 1,500 gallons
of soft drinks behind us.

- We'll pump it into the kitchen.
- That'll rupture the dispensers.

No problem. We'll airlock.

This is your captain speaking.
Is there anyone in the kitchen?

- That's it. Airlock.
- Roger, airlocking.

That's it. Get up there now.

- Airlocked.
- Commence pumping.

- Nesbitt's Orange.
- Nesbitt's Orange.

Root beer.

- Fresca?
- Fresca.

- Coca-Cola.
- Roger. Coca-Cola.

It's working.

We'll freeze to death if you
don't turn off the air conditioning.

I'm sorry, but the electrical
system's gone haywire.

I'd better talk to the passengers.

This is your captain speaking.

- Boo!
- Get outta here, creep.

There'll be a slight delay.

We're at an altitude of 6,200 feet
at the front and 6,208 at the rear.

Thank you for ridin' Coyote.

It's Mount Diablo all over again.

Dan! Help!

Where are you?

- In the kitchen. Hurry up, or I'll drown.
- Hang on!

To what?

Do somethin' fast.

I open the airlock, I flood the bus.
I don't, Kitty drowns.

All these decisions...
How many have I made today?

Twelve.

This is number 13, huh?
All right, I'm making a decision.

- I'm getting Kitty.
- "Getting Kitty."

But, Dan, 180 people!
We'll go over the cliff!

- Kitty's my girl!
- Mary Jane Beth Sue's a nice girl...

Knock it off! I'm a one-girl guy.

- Take my seat.
- But I ain't a captain.

- I'm givin' you a roadside commission.
- Hey, thanks.

I'm coming, Kitty. What the...?

Howdy, Captain, this is my son
Dennis and my wife Emma Mae.

Whaddya say...?
Get outta my way.

- You've got to marry us.
- I got no time for that.

Please, we can't live without each other.
We should never have divorced.

- How long you divorced?
- Six hours.

- Give it a chance!
- We want to die married.

Please, my Captain, please...

- You take this woman to be your wife?
- I...

- You take this man to be your husband?
- I...

You're married! Tommy, hit it!
Bartender, one round of drinks!

I'm coming!

I'm coming, Kitty. Hang on.

Shoulders! Shoulders!

Shoulders!

Oh, my goof.

Dan! Dan!
My foot's caught! Help!

I'm coming, Kitty. Forgive me.
Forgive me for leaving you at the church.

Forgive me for cheating on you with that
carhop, that switchboard operator,

that drum majorette.
I lied about 'em all, Kitty.

Your best friend, Toby, your cousin
Brenda, your cousin Charlotte,

your good-Iookin' aunt.

Dan, turn off your intercom.
You're killing me.

Aw, shit!

I'll kill Aunt Florence.

If it's not one thing, it's another.

Hang on, Kitty, I'm coming.
Hang in there.

My foot's caught.

- I'll get it loose.
- That's no problem for you.

Why don't you just eat it?

Thank you. If it weren't for you
we'd all freeze.

That's right, darling... Oh, no, no, no!

No photographs. Absolute secrecy.

I'm not about to have anyone
steal my fall collection.

That's sweet on you. Lovely.
I like the yellow.

Lose the apples, please.
Oh, that hat...

Red on red.
Like dressing a bunch of cattle.

- How's this?
- No, darling. That's not you.

Try this coat.

- You gonna wear her clothes?
- Why not? Last night, she wore mine.

Try it sometime. Open your mind.
You gotta learn how to live.

You did the right thing. Never liked
the idea of single people balling.

It's nice. Satin. It's like Bishop Shennan,
er, red, but, er...

- I can't see a thing.
- I can't get my foot loose.

Go on, save the bus. Forget about me.

Nothin' doin'!

Kitty, I want you to know something.

- Every woman I kissed, held, caressed...
- Oh, Dan.

...every time I went to the Ajax Motel,
I was always thinking of you.

Don't say it if it isn't true.

I chased them all and bedded them all
to think of you.

- Why didn't you bed me to think of me?
- I don't know.

But, for the rest of my life
I only want to bed you and think of them.

You're a strange one, Dan Torrance.

You're a strong woman, Kitty Baxter.

I'm not leavin' you this time.
I couldn't live without you.

- You're not lying again?
- No.

- I wanted to be sure.
- Whaddya mean?

I'm lying. My foot's been free
for ten minutes. Let's go.

Jack?

Got a coffee for your old top assistant?

Don't panic. No, no, no.
Don't get chicken now.

Don't panic. No, you'll tear your gown.
Back in your seat, woman.

It's no time for panic.
We must have faith!

You're a fine one to talk about faith!

- Did I say "faith"?
- You said, "We must have faith."

- I said that?
- Yes!

I can't believe it. I've regained my faith.

It's a miracle.

What difference does it make?
We're still gonna die.

No. No. No!

Come, let us sing.

- Onward Christian Soldiers?
- I'll pick the songs here.

Let us raise our voices
in these dark hours.

I hear singin' and there's no one there

I smell blossoms and the trees are bare

All day long I walk on air

I wonder why...

OK! Now listen up! Knock it off!

To pull outta this thing,
we gotta work together!

I wanna save your lives, but I need help!

- Is there a mechanic?
- I used to repair clocks.

- Get the motor on that pickup started!
- I love you, Claude.

- Can someone tie knots?
- I worked for the Post Office.

- That'll do!
- I can dance.

Terrific! Dance into the chapel
and get the candelabra!

- What're we gonna do?
- Women, take off your underwear!

It's not what you think.
Men, take off your belts.

Good, it is what I think.
C'mon, good lookin', get your belt off.

Make sure the women
take off their pantyhose.

It's in your hands.

Oh, Daddy. I just love show business.

- OK, come on. Gimme your hand.
- Left, no, right.

You got it. Wait till you see this idea.

- Get off the rope.
- I'm off the rope!

Hold the end.

- The rope's tight?
- Rope's tight.

- Underwear's tight?
- Underwear's tight.

- Here we go. Watch this.
- Here we go.

- Oh, my God!
- I love this idea.

Here we go.

Yo!

You missed.

- What's he doin'?
- He missed.

- You missed.
- He missed.

I know! Somebody else wanna try?
You think this is easy?

- I'm hanging over a cliff!
- Shh...

Gimme that! People panic so easily.

Maybe he'll try it again.

Got the end?

- Oh, God.
- Nice and easy.

OK. If there's a God in heaven, please...

...help me!

- I did it! What an idea!
- I still don't know what he's doin'.

Listen up, everybody.
I'm goin' over the side.

- Dan... One kiss before you go.
- You got it.

Ah, look where he's touching her.

Dan, are you all right?

That was on purpose, not an accident!

I know it looked like I fell,
but it was part of my plan. I'm OK.

Good. There's one spot left
on the window.

- Ironman, I'm in Earthquake Central.
- I know. Turn down your volume.

Sorry.

- Let me have the rope!
- Have you got it?

Tell the farmer.

Farmer! Hey!

- Put her in gear and let the clutch out!
- OK.

OK, that's it. It's working!

Let go!

Nice and easy, that's it.

I'll hit them with a 6.3
on the Richter scale.

- Make it an 8.3.
- As you wish, 8.3.

- We're gonna snap the rope!
- Shoulders, release forward baggage.

- Quick, Shoulders! Gun it! Gun it!
- Roger, gunning it, gunning it.

Grids and coordinates locked. Cyclops
is half a mile from the epicentre.

Destroy it.

C'mon, Shoulders. You can do it!
Give it all you got!

The coordinates.

- Change the coordinates.
- Huh?

Oh, no!

Ironman!

The coordinates, change them, Alex!

I knew he wasn't ready
to do an earthquake.

Come on, baby!
Shoulders, you're doin' it!

- We did it!
- We did it!