All language subtitles for Lucky.Hank.S01E08.WEB

I would like to
thank the legislature

for trusting and
partnering with me

on a leaner, yet stronger
university system.

My predecessors,

as president and CEO of Railton,

ballooned our budget,

and created a system of
redundancies and bureaucracies

that ran wild.

Together, with the legislature,

we take step one in
correcting this mistake.

By tomorrow,

this week of layoffs
will be behind us.

It will have been painful,

yet, I assure you we
are up to the task.

Thank you, everyone.

Wait, uh, Professor! Hey,
did you read my story yet?

No. Uh... I just
have to get through

War and Peace and Moby Dick
first, then your story.

That's okay. Looks like you might
not be here that much longer anyway.

You know, when the writing
thing doesn't work out,

try a career in
college administration.

You'd be great at it.

Uh, I'm sorry, Professor!

- Mr. Pope is now...
- Where is he?

I can't say.

I know about the
pencils, Dennis.

What?

The pencils.

My assistant, Rachel, told me.

He makes you sharpen
all of his pencils

to the exact same length.

And if one goes shorter
than the others,

you have to fix 'em all.

And if any go below
17 centimeters,

you have to start all over.

Some days are just
about pencils.

Yeah.

Eighteen...

It's 18 centimetres.

Check the cafeteria
in the Lemke Center.

You can't do that.

Did you just lick...

Look... use a container, okay?

I'll pay for it.
I'll buy you raisins.

You know? Just... It's gross.

I'm looking forward to seeing
your list this afternoon, Hank.

Though I doubt it will come.

Don't worry,

I have one of my
own made already.

I'm going straight to the press.

I know that you
siphoned off funds

that were allocated
for the faculty

to pay for the shortfall
in your building.

- In fact, I have proof!
- You do not.

Yeah. A letter from
Jeffrey Epstein. It's...

Yeah.

He knows.

He doesn't like it.

In fact, he feels guilty.

He's a good guy, your
buddy, Jeffrey Epstein.

He's not my buddy.

Do not associate
me with that name.

And there is no letter.

Because what you said is untrue.

No, there is. And it's
in a safe-deposit box.

If anything happens to me,

Rudy Giuliani has the other key.

You stopped moving.

You stopped showering.

Ha, ha.

Why don't you help make dinner?

Doing something can
make you feel better.

Not always, but it's
been known to help.

I can open the wine.

- No.
- What?

Last time you opened the wine,

you got cork in the,
uh, drinking part.

I can open the wine.

Oof! I had to say goodbye
to so many colleagues today.

Herb, he was actually sobbing.

Oh, yeah? Was he
chopping onions for you?

Oh, sorry. I know you
had a hard day, too.

No, today was just
sharpening blades.

Tomorrow, I cut heads off.

Good luck. You couldn't even chop
that fish's head off that one time.

You made me do it.

Yeah. It was disturbing
how easily it came to you.

Have you figured out who
you're gonna fire yet?

No!

What's wrong with this thing?

Julie?

Can we talk to each other?

No. No, we can't, Russell.

Please! I love you, Julie! I just
want to explain things a little bit.

You lied to my face!

If you don't go away right now,
I will throw this bottle...

- No! Don't! Come on.
- through the glass and right at your head!

- Honey, don't.
- I'm stepping back!

- Honey, let me do it.
- I got it.

- Please.
- I got it!

Maybe just give it to your dad.

Yeah. I can do
it. You're too...

Julie...

- Come on.
- God damn it!

No!

Oh...

Oh.

Get me another one.

To throw?

To drink.

Maybe screw top.

Don't look at me! Turn around!

Turn around!

- Dad, let me help you.
- No. I got it.

No problem.

Easy... peasy.

Oh...

Never happened.

Russell?

Yeah?

How long are you
gonna stay out here?

Till Julie talks to me.

But what if she doesn't
wanna talk to you?

Well... come on, Mom.

It's Julie.

I mean, she doesn't really
know what she wants.

She might.

- I'm gonna miss you.
- Me too.

Did you see Russell up there?

Yep.

What should I do, Mom?

Um... whatever you do,

just remember to be
calm and reasonable.

- I love you.
- Love you.

Dad broke your nightstand.

Are you able to come
home this weekend?

Uh, I'm sorry, I can't.

There's this fundraiser
at school on Saturday.

Can you come to New York?

Uh...

Probably need to be here, right,

because of everything
that's going on?

Oh, I... I... I can
stop work for a weekend.

It's a really big deal, what's
happening in your department.

And you decided to stay here and
not come with me to New York,

'cause you weren't ready
to give up your career.

I did say that, didn't I?

Ugh, I hate me.

Just don't make a
joke of that decision.

Just really be in your career.

Okay.

Oh, shit.

English Department.

- I need your help with something.
- Okay.

If you had to fire
three people...

No.

- Which would you pick?
- No.

I'm not saying you
have to fire them,

and I'm not saying I would choose
the same three. Okay? Although...

No.

All right.

Ah... Finny.

Emma.

Gracie.

Psst! Psst! Psst!

Sorry about the "Spanky" thing.

It's okay, Billie.

I've been with this
department for 26 years.

Even before it was a department.

It was just four of us working
out of a two-room storage closet

in the basement of the old gym.

You know that's not true.

Well, it might have been.

You know?

Did you know that it was me
that brought in Shifelli.

I also brought in Shapiro.

I kicked Nelson out when she
started showing up drunk every day.

I know... the irony.

- Jesus Christ.
- Billie, you don't have to justify.

But why is it that
the experienced

are the ones who
get the axe first?

I mean, who conjured
up that policy?

You know, let some stupid
24-year old twit out of Oberlin

teach Shakespeare, and
Milton, and... Jesus.

You know, they're gonna
cancel the whole Renaissance

if we don't stop them.

You know, if it's not some
screaming exegesis of the left...

Billie! Come on. Come on.

Listen...

We practically raised
our families together.

You remember?

You dropped Julie
off in the morning,

and Lucy would
babysit her all day.

It was nice.

I'm not gonna fire you.

No?

No.

That's not why I called you in.

I... I called you in here...

I mean, right from the start,
to simply ask you a question.

Which three of these
people would you fire?

Oh!

Well, I sure as shit ain't
gonna do your dirty work.

Good luck, Spanky.

Did you set up
your keyboard yet?

No.

I'm scared I won't remember
how to play C chord.

Oh, you'll find out.

I will find out.

You know what weirdly I'm looking forward
to most is an unbroken night's sleep.

Hank gets up several
times in the night

with these phantom urges to pee.

I'm sorry, he gets what?

Like, he needs to
pee, but he can't.

But he has to get up
anyway, just in case.

- Oh, my God.
- What?

That's Catherine Keener.

Yeah, that's her.

Her characters are so unlikable.

Shush.

It's true.

- Go say hi.
- Shush, shush.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Hi.

I really love your work.

Thank you. Appreciate it.

I've seen everything probably...

probably twice.

Oh, wow.

Really, thank you.

Okay.

Okay, so this is like a
weird thing fan thing.

She wants a photo.

-Oh, of course. Sure.
-Oh, no, not that, not that. Uh, I mean, I will.

- I mean...
- But, um, no.

It's just that my
husband and I...

I just think you'll
think this is funny.

Um, every time
your name comes up,

he makes a move on me.

- Oh.
- Yep.

Wow. Well, I guess
he's my fan then.

Actually, it works
for both of us, so.

Yeah.

This is about the
time that I'd...

I'd run out from a
potential psycho.

- Oh, no!
- But you know what?

No, my husband and I have a similar
thing with Winston Churchill, so.

- Different story.
- Really?

No!

- No.
- I'm so dumb.

Is he here?

Who... Who?

Your husband?

Oh, right!

Um, no. He's in Pennsylvania.

I got a really good job here
that I couldn't turn down, so...

But he'll come visit.

Yeah. That's tough, though,
with the long-distance thing.

Oh.

I...

Well, there's my co...

This is my coffee shop,

so I'm sure I'll see you around.

Okay.

You just feel free to drop my
name if you wanna get some.

I will!

Okay.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Oh, shit.

I forgot the picture.

Hank is never gonna believe me.

I love New York.

Come on. Come on.

Hank.

You're not helping anybody
by drawing this out.

I don't know what to do.

Jesus.

You're a mess.

What to do, what to do?

There's gotta be a
last-ditch attempt,

a Hail Mary.

Those never work.

That's why they call
them a Hail Mary.

That lady couldn't
throw to save her life.

But I can.

So here goes.

Ready, fire, aim.

Hey. This is an
impressive place.

It is not.

Well, it makes an impression.

That's the point.

You know, if you get
fancy, everybody sees that.

They're gonna wanna
get fancy, too.

I don't mind this.

Plus, I got a
30,000-square-foot house.

The thing's so big,
I gotta put maps up

with these signs that
say "you are here".

I got lost in it twice.

What can I do for you fellas?

Uh, we're here to talk to you

about your good
pal, Dickie Pope.

Good pal?

I thought so.

You know, with my name, it's kinda
hard to get into certain country clubs.

I thought maybe Dickie
Pope would be my way in.

Talk about a
fair-weather friend.

Soon as that final
check cleared,

it was "Sayonara,
Jeffrey Epstein."

No! That seemed like
such a solid friendship.

Yeah, I get it.

I mean, you think a guy
who leads a university

would want to be good
friends to the university,

but instead, like...
like you told us,

he plunders ten mil
from just anywhere.

And unfortunately
for us, it's...

as you know...

in the faculty budget.

That seems unlikely.

Well, pretty sure that was it.

He probably just went and
financed the building.

That's how these things go.

Too many tax incentives to
not just go get a mortgage.

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to
burst your bubble. It's just...

I really doubt that there's some
secret ten million out there

that's gonna help ya.

So it was just a loan?

I think that's the
simplest answer.

Now, look... I mean, if you
guys get fired, call me up.

I'll be the first one to buy
you a beer. I like you guys.

You know, you're...

You're like, uh... friends.

I don't really have friends.

It's hard when everybody
wants something from you.

Well, maybe you could
put in a good word for us

with, uh, your
friends on the board.

- Sure, fellas.
- Thanks.

We should be at Nora's bar
by 5:00 p.m., maybe earlier,

so you can stop by and buy
us all the beers you want.

It's a date.

This could be every day,
but in a warmer climate.

What is it with you and Florida?

I like to think of
it as North Cuba.

You know I'm Cuban, right?

Of course.

I'm not going to Florida, Jacob.

You could stay.

No one's forcing you out.

I cannot.

I just can't work
for that guy, Dickie.

You've always been
too good for this job.

Too soft-hearted.

Maybe.

He just doesn't believe
in public education.

Hmm.

It's perverse that
he has this job.

- Mm-hmm.
- Doesn't make sense.

What can I do to get
you to leave with me?

What you don't understand
is I actually like it here.

I feel like a teenager
when I'm with you.

It's good to see your face.

I'm working.

Uh, is there an outlet, uh,
in there that I can use?

I... I'm trying to hook up
my space heater and my...

And my phone's gonna die.

No.

Okay.

Is there one out here
that I'm missing, or...

No.

And if there was,
you couldn't use it.

Yeah, I know we have problems.

You know?

But I really, really
wanna work on them.

You cheated on me.

How is that working on problems?

Well, you cheated on me twice.

I was 19,

and you were so stoned the
entire time, you hardly noticed.

I noticed.

Look, sometimes, it's hard for
me to bring things up with you

because you get
really angry, or...

Or judgmental,
like... Like your dad.

- I'm not like my dad.
- Yeah, no, I know, I know.

I know. That...
That's why I love you.

But you can...

Sometimes, when I'm saying something,
you know, you can act, um...

- like...
- How could you do this to me?

My parents are splitting up,

and then you go and
you do this to me?

Sometimes, it's scary to
bring up issues with you.

So what if it's scary?
How weak are you?

I...

Here's a life hack...

Ugh.

When you're in the
middle of your worst day,

pick the worst thing you
have to do and get it done.

I mean, how much
further down can you go?

Oh, here he comes.

Ahem. Bartow.

Let me guess. You hated it,

but you gave me a B-plus to
keep my parents off your back.

I hated it. I gave it an A.

For different reasons,
though. This...

Pacing drives us forward,

and the ideas rise to
the surface slowly...

deftly...

but we never get ahead of it.

This is good. Do more of this.

I think there's more to the
rest of the story that...

No. No, there isn't.

Just this.

Four excellent sentences.

But most people can't do this.

All right.

- Well, thanks for the A.
- Yep.

So you're just not gonna do it?
You're not gonna make a list?

Turns out I'm not a list guy.

If they ask for a collage...

And you think that'll work?

Yeah.

Just get some images, and words,

and glitter and glue.

No. No, it's not gonna work.

Did it get you off?

Excuse me?

Sleeping with the dean. Did
it get you off the list?

I don't know what you mean.

Your shirt's inside out
and you smell like balls.

"Yes, this was love,

this ridiculous bouncing
of the buttocks,

and the wilting of the poor,
insignificant, moist, little penis."

DH Lawrence.

Mm. Well, you had me
at "bouncing buttocks"

and lost me at "moist,
white little penis."

He didn't say "white."

- I just assumed.
- Hmm.

So... what now?

Uh, now we celebrate the feeling

that comes with a shared defeat.

Maybe we'll finally bond.

Doubtful.

Well...

Drinks at Nora's. It's on me.

Silver lining.

You should go home
and take a shower.

I got it. I... I got it!

- No, but in a white wine glass and it can't be a...
- Ugh.

Meg.

Hi.

I didn't think I'd see
you here for a while.

Yeah, maybe I need a new bar.

Look...

I don't really get marriage.

It's not something
that I saw growing up

and it's not this
sacred thing to me.

I just...

I don't get it.

But I didn't seduce Russell.

It's not like we have
feelings for each other.

No feelings? That's a great
guide for your sex life.

Well, to be honest,

I kinda felt sorry for him.

No one should be allowed
to get married at 22.

That's definitely
for you to decide.

That's the vibe that
I got from him, Hank.

- Not me.
- Oh, yeah?

Well, he's camped out
on my porch right now,

begging her to take him back,

so I'm getting a different vibe.

Shit.

- Excuse me, can I...
- Yeah, just one second.

I'm sorry that Julie is hurting.

Tell her that I didn't
mean to get in between...

I'm not gonna deliver
your apology for you.

And you're not
really apologising.

Well, I wasn't
trying to hurt her.

Well, who... Who were
you trying to hurt?

- Now could...
- Yes.

What do you want?

If it's me, will you guys
visit me in South Carolina?

- Absolutely not.
- No way.

- What's in South Carolina?
- My sister lives there.

We hate each other,

but she said she'd put
me up for six months, so.

Can I join you?

I'm not interested in sharing a
drink with management right now.

Well, that's okay, because I
tendered my resignation an hour ago.

Well, that gets you a drink.

Spanky, get him a beer.

Um...

Seriously? You jumped
ship without a lifeboat?

Practically.

That might have been a
little hyperbole there.

- Hmm.
- The letter is written.

I just need to spell
check it and stuff.

Definitely spell check it.

There's nothing sadder than
a PhD's resignation loiter.

You two again?

I've known her 25 years,

I still can't predict the
next thing out of her mouth.

Yeah, but you know it's
gonna be about her.

That's okay.

I'm over me.

They wouldn't rent me a moped.

- Hank.
- The injustice.

Injustice.

Hey, you made it.

Epstein!

- Fellas!
- All right.

Hey, you guys.

Um... English department,
this is Jeffrey Epstein.

Jeffrey Epstein, this is
the English department.

I'm really sorry, guys,
must be a rough night.

I called my friend on the board

to see if there was
anything he could do.

- He said it's done.
- Wonderful.

- Actually, we haven't heard yet.
- Would someone tell us?

All right. You guys...

Emma...

Finny and Billie.

I'm so sorry.

We're hurting right now.

But we're professors.

We don't lay down.

Because we're professors,

and we know that's
grammatically incorrect.

We lie down,

or we stand up,

and we go to my house,

and we party.

Right now.

Carpe diem. Who's with me?

I have a hot tub.

Dickie Pope is the
worst person I ever met.

And I've met an actual Nazi.

All he cares about is money.

Doesn't care about
bettering public education.

As a matter of fact,
he wants to destroy it.

I... I've heard that
he eats garbage.

This is the saddest hot tub
party I've ever been to.

I've been to one sadder.

What's the deal?

I mean...

why does he wanna
save money so bad?

Is he taking a cut?

I think it's his weird
obsession with MIT.

What are you talking about?

I told you about that.
Didn't I tell you about that?

No.

This guy wants to be president of
an Ivy like his life depends on it.

MIT's not an Ivy League.

Whoa. What about MIT?

What did he say about MIT?

I... I got in touch
with a head-hunter

who told me there's
a position there,

at the top.

Is that what
Dickie's gunning for?

Is that why the deep cut, so
he can prove himself to them?

- Guys...
- Because that is a significant infraction

of his fiduciary duties
here at this college.

Look, if you have something on
Dickie Pope, we want to hear it.

And we'll make it
worth your while.

No, you can't.

You forget, I'm a billionaire.

I know, I forget, too.

Sometimes, I wake up and look
around, I go, "Oh, my God."

I will write you a poem.

I... That's priceless.

Look, what about the "Q"...

in the building, in your name?

You... You never liked
that. That bothered you.

We... We'll get it taken out.

I don't think you have
the power to do that.

Oh, that was Dickie's thing.

No one else that mattered cared.

That little twerp.

97...

98...

- Dennis!
- Dick.

Hank, you've entered my office.

Oh, yeah. That's
how I got in. Yeah.

I trust you received my list.

Uh... might have accidentally
gone to my inbox.

I only read my spam.

Time. Dennis!

No. Look, um, I wanna
chat with you, because...

Did you hear the news?

I'm going to be the
new president of MIT.

You are not.

- I'm not?
- No.

How would you know that?

It was... It was a
tough job to get.

Right? I had to be devious.

They wanted a... a
clown, the modern kind,

you know, that kills with glee.

So, first, I had to
go to clown college.

I have work to do.

You can go.

- You can go.
- It's my office.

Except... it's not.

Yes?

Mr. Pope, the Board of Trustees
would like to speak with you.

Fine. Put them through.

They're not on the phone. They're
meeting upstairs right now.

That sounds serious.

The discovery that Richard Pope

violated his fiduciary
duty to the college.

The current president and
CEO cut 25% of the faculty,

falsely claiming that it
was to benefit the school,

all in an effort
to pad his resume

and gain favour for
a position at MIT.

His assistant,

under cover of Pennsylvania's
whistleblower law,

has forwarded emails,

phone logs, and travel logs,
all confirming the allegations.

You know, it's getting
cold out there.

Is it?

Did you talk to him yet?

Not really.

Are you going to?

I don't know.

You know, listen, I know you think
that I'm partially responsible,

you know, because I got
him the job in the bar.

And maybe I'm partly to blame...

for different reasons. Uh...

I'm... I'm...

Forget it. I'm
sorry I did that.

Thank you.

I'm sorry for what you
and Mom are going through.

What... What we're
going through?

Oh...

I can't...

- Whatever.
- What?

What do you think is happening?

You're here,

and Mom's in New York with her hot
ex-boyfriend and a broken end table.

You tell me that's
not separated.

He's not hot.

He's younger than you.

So, yeah, the board is
initiating conversations,

and, uh, we will see.

We will see.

Well, that's great.

Yeah.

I also had a pretty
interesting day.

Yeah?

Do you remember that thing

about how every time I say Catherine
Keener's name, you make a move on me?

Uh, no, I... I don't.

Of course you do.

We've talked about this.

Well, I don't remember.

You really don't?

Oh.

Okay. It's...

It's nothing, anyway.

Forget it.

Oh, hey...

Julie thinks we're separated.

We're not separated.

I know, right?

That's just... just silly.

It's so silly.

Uh...

I've got another
big day tomorrow,

I think I should go to sleep.

- Okay, good night.
- Okay.

Yeah.

Hey!

Team, wanna hear
what I just heard?

It is official.

We've all been reinstated,
and Dickie Pope is out.

Well, hey, we should... We
should all go get lunch.

Yeah, we just hung out.

Hey, where's Spanky?

Oh, yeah. Well, why isn't he
the one delivering the news?

Yeah, he's only the
chair of the department.

Oh, he's totally avoiding us.

Rachel?

I don't know.

I think he slipped away.

- Hmm.
- Isn't this what he wanted?

Oh, God.

I've known the man for 25 years.

I still have no
idea what he wants.

I don't even think he knows.

Here I am feeling
proud of myself.

How about that?

Hmm. So why aren't
I going out there?

They're only going
to be happy with me.

Probably the first
and last time.

I have a headache.

If I asked Occam, he'd say...

"It's not them I want
to share this with."

Hello.

I had a few minutes.

I...

I bought lunch.

I had a good day.

Is this chicken salad, Alison?

It's turkey.

And, uh, this is Laurel.

But...

I told you about those layoffs
I was put in charge of.

You remember that?

You said it.

And, yes, we heard it.

Okay. Well...

I figured a way around it.

No one's gonna get fired.

Not just in my
department, but, uh...

across the humanities.

No one saved my job.

Yeah. Well, there were a lot of
jealous people there at Columbia.

Cutthroat is what it was.

And they cut my throat.

You retired.

I didn't retire.

Don't be naive.

Well, maybe you're not as
sharp as you once were.

That... That's... You don't
have to be bitter about it.

Right? You can just look back
at a great long run. Okay?

My mind is fine.

There's professors there that
can't find their own feet.

They set me up.

They fact-checked me like
"gotcha" journalists.

Fact-checked?

What are you talking about?

He... He's not talking
about anything.

He... He's just a
little confused.

I wrote a piece last year

about my experiences at
the march in Selma, 1965.

We lived in Colorado that year.

You... Were you at Selma?

I could have been!

That's my point.

Better saying that I was there

than saying I watched on TV.

You think that gets
picked up in a journal?

You gotta keep publishing, or...

Or you don't get
invited to panels.

So if I screwed up,

it was because of their
system that pushed me to it.

They're all responsible.

Oh, it's an
understandable mistake.

Their mistake.

I... I was taking
well-earned license.

You made up facts for an essay

so that you could be
invited to panels?

What else is there?

I've started archiving
your father's work.

And, actually, I
need to come to you

and see if we can
find a young student

that might be interested
in being part of...

For 45 years, I'd
been dying to know

what was so valuable that
he'd leave his family.

And there it is...

conferences.

All this time, I thought
he knew something.

I was trying to get
answers from him,

but what answers could I
get from such a flawed man

that wouldn't be wrong?

What a loser.

He could have stayed...

and had a son, known
his grandchildren.

He could have had a wife
who just adored him.

He could have had
everything that I have.

I have everything.

Hi.

Parking around here
is a brainteaser.

Does this, uh, place
have a bathroom?

Or is it one of those
SROs where you...

- No.
- everybody shares down the hall?

Ah!

Oh, yeah!

Look at that!

New York!

New York!

Hey, New York!