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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,000
This programme contains strong
language and adult humour.
2
00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:36,960
Hello. You got an appointment?
3
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,400
Yes. Final interview.
4
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:39,840
Substantive interview.
5
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:41,760
Sorry, substantive interview.
6
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:43,520
Sign in with my colleague inside.
7
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,920
Oh, no, no.
My appointment is on Monday.
8
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,800
I am just planning my route,
so I don't get lost.
9
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,080
Good idea. One hour, 38 minutes.
10
00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:52,560
Nice.
11
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,360
I'm going to give myself two hours.
12
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,440
Good to be on the safe side.
13
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,880
So, this is Croydon?
14
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:05,960
Yep, welcome to the Cronx.
15
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,720
Shit, innit?
16
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:10,800
Little bit.
17
00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,280
I reckon that's why they chose it.
18
00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:16,520
Make sure you know what you're
signing up to.
19
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,000
Tough country this.
20
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,840
It's not all Beefeaters
and blow jobs, you know what I mean?
21
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,120
Indeed. Yeah.
22
00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,440
Thousand years from now, they'll
look back at the ruins of all this
23
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:33,160
and think,
24
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:34,880
"What the fuck, is it?"
25
00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,160
Be like a crap Stonehenge.
26
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:40,400
Stone what?
27
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:41,840
Stonehenge.
28
00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:43,360
Stone henge?
29
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:44,880
Stonehenge.
30
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,480
See you Monday.
31
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:47,560
See you.
32
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,320
Find it?
33
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:10,600
Yes.
34
00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:11,920
One hour and 38 minutes.
35
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:13,480
Good on ya.
36
00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:15,360
You all right? Mm-hm.
37
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,760
Hi, John. Hm.
38
00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:22,080
Chocolate spread?
39
00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,360
Half-term treat. Not Marmite?
40
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,000
I'm not making that mistake again.
41
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,080
Do you want some bread
with that? Mm?
42
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:31,400
No, thank you.
43
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,000
I do not need
a delivery mechanism.
44
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,320
I like this one.
45
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:36,440
What is this?
46
00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:37,800
It's Jerusalem.
47
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:41,560
Named after the famous
Israeli hot potato.
48
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:44,600
It's like everyone secretly wants it
to be the National Anthem... Mm-hm.
49
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:47,000
..and we can't have it
because of God Save The Queen.
50
00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:48,680
You don't like God Save The Queen?
51
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:49,800
No-one does.
52
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,520
That's why we only have one verse.
53
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:54,240
Sami, liking Jerusalem,
it's basically as patriotic
54
00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,320
as it's acceptable
for a British person to be.
55
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:57,880
Any more than that - nutter.
56
00:02:57,920 --> 00:02:59,640
I don't know about that. I do!
57
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,400
One day it's Jerusalem,
next you're going to air shows
58
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,440
and wanking over jigsaws
of Princess Anne.
59
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,280
Christ... I need to clear
this freezer out.
60
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,840
I've got fish fingers as old
as Stonehenge in here.
61
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,080
Who?
62
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,160
Fish fingers.
No, no, the other word?
63
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,160
Stonehenge. Stonehenge.
64
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:20,240
Stonehenge! Why is everybody
talking about Stonehenge today?
65
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,800
I'm sorry, Sami, I don't know what
you mean. You all right?
66
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,160
Yes, yes. Stonehenge.
67
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,240
So...
68
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,720
You know henges?
69
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:33,160
Well, this is a stone one.
70
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,480
I don't know henges!
What is a henge?
71
00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,600
I'm just joking, calm down.
Why am I so angry?
72
00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:38,680
Culture shock.
73
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:39,920
The W curve.
74
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,840
The double... Ugh, another British
thing I don't know.
75
00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:44,200
What is this?
76
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:49,280
When you enter a new culture,
you suffer from culture shock.
77
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:52,080
Now, people used to think this
was like a U.
78
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,600
So, "This place is great,"
79
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:56,720
"Hang on, I don't get this,"
happy again.
80
00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:00,760
But actually, it's more like a W.
81
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,160
Honeymoon period,
"Everything's shit,"
82
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,880
"Hang on, I've cracked this"
false dawn,
83
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,120
"Fuck it, no, I haven't,"
"Yes, I have."
84
00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:08,560
You're in the "Fuck it" phase.
85
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,280
How do you know this?
86
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,520
Sociology degree. Leeds.
87
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,120
You are a brain box.
88
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:19,560
Mate, when you look like this, you
better have something to talk about,
89
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,200
otherwise people are
just going to use you for sex.
90
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:23,400
I see this now.
91
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:24,520
Sami...
92
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,560
Look, this interview, Monday,
93
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:31,560
it's not Round Britain quiz.
94
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,280
It's you they're interested in.
95
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:35,440
You know that.
96
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:40,640
I know, but still, everybody knows
about the Stones Henge and I don't.
97
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,600
I feel on the outside again.
98
00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:46,520
You feel on the outside?
99
00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:50,760
I want to feel back on the inside.
How do I feel back on the inside?
100
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,120
Get in the car.
101
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,360
Where are we going?
102
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,000
Shut up and look pretty.
103
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,320
This country is very pretty.
104
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:12,960
All these little cottages,
very cute.
105
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,520
Quaint. Quaint?
106
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:17,280
Unusual, old-fashioned.
107
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:18,640
Peter is quaint.
108
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:21,280
Peter is fucking quaint.
109
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,880
I think he loves you very much.
110
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,040
I'm waiting for him
to take the lead.
111
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,960
Tell me what
he really wants us to be.
112
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,040
I think he will.
113
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,960
And you and Yasmine,
what will you be, I wonder?
114
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,120
Find out Monday.
115
00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:50,840
Good interview, maybe we all go
live in that quaint farm over there.
116
00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:52,800
Bad interview...
117
00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,040
..Berlin.
118
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,320
She still not talking to you?
119
00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:57,440
No.
120
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,480
It's, um...
121
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,840
It's going quite well...
122
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:20,920
..isn't it?
123
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,520
What?
124
00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,360
With us?
125
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:25,880
I'm having fun.
126
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,320
Me too.
127
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,720
Me too. What was it
like when you left us?
128
00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:36,720
I felt alone, John.
129
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,560
Bet you felt like a bit
of a dickhead.
130
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,160
Promise me you'll never work
for Samaritans.
131
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:43,760
Yeah. Thank you.
132
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,120
Listen, John,
133
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,560
I know we've
already talked about it
134
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:54,160
but I just wanted to say -
135
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,080
and this is your choice by the way,
136
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,840
so if you don't want to that's
absolutely fine -
137
00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,640
but if you did want to,
138
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:01,800
I...
139
00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:03,520
..wouldn't mind...
140
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:04,920
..if you...
141
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,680
..called me Dad.
142
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:09,080
But I have a dad.
143
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,720
Yes, I know, but...
144
00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:14,080
..some people have two dads.
145
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,120
Like who? Um...
146
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,840
Well, Jesus had two.
147
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,440
But the point is you
could call me...
148
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:23,720
I'm not calling you God.
149
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,760
..and I wouldn't want you
to call me God.
150
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,000
I could call you Joseph,
if you want?
151
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,480
Yes, that would feel like
a missed opportunity somehow.
152
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,280
Just call me Dad?
Maybe just call me Dad.
153
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,760
I'm not calling you Dad.
Right, OK, well, that's fine.
154
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,520
I could call you dude.
155
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,680
Do you know I'd take that,
actually?
156
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:49,760
Nice to meet you, dude.
157
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,600
Nice to meet you...
158
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:52,800
..dude.
159
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,840
Don't leave us again.
160
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,600
I won't.
161
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,160
I think Mum needs to know.
Know what?
162
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,640
That you're staying.
163
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,800
That's it? That's it.
164
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,080
That's it.
165
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:17,560
So, what is it?
166
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,120
No-one knows.
167
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,080
Sorry?
168
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:25,680
No-one knows what it is.
169
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,280
No, I mean what is it for?
170
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:28,720
No-one knows.
171
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,600
Well, who built it?
172
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:31,840
No-one knows.
173
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,600
Feel better? Yes, actually.
174
00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,600
Everything gets forgotten,
eventually.
175
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,680
Gangnam Style,
176
00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,840
Ed Miliband.
177
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,280
No wonder we don't know
what the fuck they are
178
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:48,320
and that's OK.
179
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,920
Any questions?
180
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,000
No.
181
00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,240
Shall we go home?
182
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,560
It's a beautiful evening.
183
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,200
Shall we go for a walk? All of us?
184
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:23,080
No, just you and me.
185
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,440
Are you going to murder me?
186
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:26,520
No.
187
00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:27,760
All right.
188
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,200
It's a big day for Sami tomorrow.
189
00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:44,400
Well, he's got his chance to change
his life for the better.
190
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,080
Good luck, Sami. Mm.
191
00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:50,320
Bloody hell, what's this?
192
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,280
Don't know.
193
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:55,600
I thought the Dorking Satanists
met on Wednesdays.
194
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,320
Oh, my God,
you are going to murder me.
195
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,960
No, um, but getting back
to what we were saying.
196
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,440
Uh...
197
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,800
..I actually feel like Sami's
changed my life
198
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,560
for the better, actually.
199
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:12,520
I mean, he's made me realise what
a wonderful family you both are,
200
00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:14,240
you and John. Aw.
201
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:17,640
Especially you.
202
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:23,080
And I've also realised how close
I came to messing that up...
203
00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:26,880
..and I don't want to do that again.
204
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,200
So...
205
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:30,920
..with that in mind...
206
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,200
Oh, God. ..Katy...
207
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,120
..will you marry me?
208
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,640
Of course I fucking won't.
209
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,680
I'm sorry, what? Do you know what?
This is typical you!
210
00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:52,000
We were doing so well, taking things
slowly and you've got to ruin it!
211
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,320
I wanted to let you know
I'm here to stay.
212
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:57,680
Stop locking the toilet door,
213
00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:01,360
top up the rinse aid, don't do this.
214
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:02,960
What the fuck's this?
215
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,520
No, no, no, no, no, no!
216
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,640
Oh, that is just perfect!
217
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,800
Please, Yasmine,
my interview is tomorrow.
218
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,920
I have been trying all weekend.
219
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,120
Please let me know you are OK.
220
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:23,640
This feels like when you were lost.
221
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,640
I don't want to lose you again.
222
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,720
I don't want to lose you again.
223
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,920
Substantive interview?
224
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,120
Ah, yes.
225
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,400
Sami, Syria.
226
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,120
Amir, Iran.
227
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,840
Looking very Christian today, Amir.
228
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,520
I am Christian.
229
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:49,480
Ask me favourite pop singer.
230
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,440
Who's your fav... Cliff Richard.
231
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,680
You were Christian in Iran.
That can't be easy.
232
00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,800
No, no. I arrive in UK,
233
00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,200
then, praise God,
234
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,240
I discover Jesus.
235
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:04,840
Church baptizes me.
236
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,920
My faith is now Church of England.
237
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:11,120
This sadly means if I go back
to Iran, I will be persecuted.
238
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,720
With a heavy heart,
I must stay here.
239
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,600
Did you convert...?
Ask me my favourite cathedral.
240
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:23,720
What is your favo...
Hereford Cathedral.
241
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,840
You think I will say
St Paul's Cathedral?
242
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,400
No, no, Hereford Cathedral.
243
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,520
This beautiful building is home
to a community
244
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:36,200
that has worshipped together
for over 1,300 years.
245
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:37,800
Are you quoting from the website?
246
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:39,880
No.
247
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,360
The cathedral is open
daily from...
248
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,280
From 9:15 until evensong.
249
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,760
You are quoting from the website.
250
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,000
No! Which you are warmly
invited to attend.
251
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,000
Thank you. How to get to us?
252
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,200
Come off at junction 4 on the M50.
253
00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:58,800
Well, that's me.
254
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,000
Good luck.
255
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,200
You are Muslim?
256
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:06,720
No. I'm Christian too.
257
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:07,760
Syrian Christian.
258
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:18,760
Will you follow me, please?
259
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,920
Hello? Sami Ibrahim?
260
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:53,680
Is he from Damascus?
261
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,160
Yeah.
262
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,680
I might have overreacted.
263
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,040
Nope.
264
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:24,360
You're right.
265
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,600
I was a bit keen.
266
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:29,760
Softly, softly, catchee monkey.
267
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:31,960
Yes.
268
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,600
That was more Planet Of The Apes.
269
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:35,640
Yes, it was.
270
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:40,640
Shouldn't have tried.
271
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:41,880
Oh...
272
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,120
..keep trying.
273
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:47,280
Just give it a bit.
274
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:53,520
Come on, shall we go home
and wait for him?
275
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,640
Was it expensive?
276
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,640
Well...
277
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,760
..it depends what you
call expensive.
278
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,400
Where did you buy it from?
279
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:13,640
Pret a Manger.
280
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:42,760
Quite a read, isn't it?
281
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:43,800
Mm.
282
00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,480
Wait till you see what
happens in the sequel.
283
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:48,520
Hm.
284
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:53,840
Protest at Damascus University
in April 2011.
285
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,920
11th April, yes, in Baramkeh.
286
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:02,320
I... I was there.
Early. Small protest.
287
00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:03,840
I was detained, beaten.
288
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,840
Yes, you've given us
that information.
289
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,400
Nearly lunchtime.
Let's not jeopardise our appetites.
290
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,000
What are you having?
291
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,560
Sorry? For lunch?
292
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,000
Um, sandwich.
293
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:30,880
Cheese and pickle?
294
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,160
I might go Indian.
295
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,480
New tiffin place down the road,
quite fancy it,
296
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:39,120
but Indian for lunch...
297
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,400
Seems risky somehow,
Indian for lunch.
298
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,920
Like one is playing
with fire, both...
299
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,920
..metaphorically...
300
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,080
..and anally.
301
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,960
Yes. Your wife and child
are in Berlin? Yes.
302
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,200
Pretty.
303
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:57,160
And they will join you here pending
a successful application?
304
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,680
Pending? In the event of.
305
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,840
Oh, yes, I hope so.
306
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:04,560
Hope so? I mean, yes, probably.
307
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,000
Trouble in paradise?
308
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:08,320
It's hard trying to get everybody
together in one place.
309
00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:11,560
Oh, I agree. I took my family
to Chessington last weekend.
310
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,320
Nearly had to call
the fucking Red Cross.
311
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,960
Christian. Huh?
312
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,080
You're a Syrian Christian? Yes.
313
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:19,520
How vivid.
Been to some nice churches here?
314
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:25,000
Sorry? You're Christian.
You will have visited a church.
315
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,760
To be honest...
316
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,600
..I've lost my faith a little bit.
317
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,080
Lost it?
318
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:33,600
Yes, it's not much room
for God on a leaky dinghy.
319
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,760
So you had a Road to Damascus moment
on the road from Damascus?
320
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,920
I suppose so.
321
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,240
That's convenient.
322
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,720
Hereford Cathedral.
323
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,280
I'm sorry?
324
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,520
I've been to Hereford Cathedral.
325
00:19:55,560 --> 00:20:00,320
People have been going there
for 1,300 years.
326
00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:02,880
You take the M50 junction.
327
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:04,560
I said "The road to Damascus"
earlier.
328
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,560
Did you understand what that meant?
329
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,040
I think so.
It's from the New Testament.
330
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,560
A disciple travelled
from Jerusalem to Damascus
331
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,280
and the Lord appeared to him
in a vision. Yes.
332
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:15,520
Which disciple?
333
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,080
Saul. Paul.
334
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:23,120
With a P.
335
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,040
Let's see what other parts
of the Bible we don't know.
336
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:28,600
Ten Commandments. I'll start.
337
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,280
Thou shalt not lie.
338
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:36,760
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
339
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,160
Keep the Sabbath day holy.
340
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,240
No graven images.
341
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:42,400
Thou shalt not kill.
342
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,680
Thou shalt not covet
thy neighbour's goods.
343
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,000
Thou shalt not steal.
344
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,200
Thou shalt not covet thy
neighbour's wife.
345
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:52,920
Ah, for God's sake.
346
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,360
Thou shalt not take
the Lord's name in vain.
347
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,520
Cocky bastard.
348
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,840
Though shalt honour thy mother
and father...
349
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:04,800
..and Bob is your uncle.
350
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:06,160
I make that ten.
351
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:11,120
Oh, that disciple
on the way to Damascus,
352
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:15,720
he changed his name to Paul,
but when it happened it was Saul...
353
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,480
..with an S.
354
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:21,000
All these foreigners
with their different names.
355
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:24,440
Do we have anything further
to discuss?
356
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,720
I think we're done here.
Thank you.
357
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:33,760
Will you follow me, please?
358
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,200
I'm sorry.
359
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:46,520
I was disrespectful.
360
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:49,200
You can go, Mr Ibrahim.
361
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:52,400
Did I pass?
362
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,360
You shall be notified
in...due course.
363
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:48,280
Yeah, we've always been
your second choice.
364
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:55,960
I'm done running, I'm done, done!
365
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:58,520
I'm done too.
366
00:22:58,560 --> 00:22:59,960
What do you mean?
367
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,880
Don't come here.
368
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:03,560
I need space.
369
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:06,400
Yasmine?
370
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,160
Hello? Yasmine!
371
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,120
Congratulations!
372
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:16,640
Ah, the wanderer returns.
373
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:19,240
Come in, come here. This is so
wonderful, we feel like we've been
374
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,240
waiting for ages!
We've got a surprise for you.
375
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,200
Look at what we made, Sami.
We made Baba ghanoush
376
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,520
and it's really disgusting,
but you need to try it.
377
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:28,000
Baba ghanoush. Now what's it made
out of, come on, John?
378
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,760
Come on. Eggplants.
We tried so hard.
379
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,800
All the tahini, all the cumin.
380
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,920
Lemons. I had to get six lemons.
381
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,160
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