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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,876 --> 00:00:03,086 [TV static drones] 2 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,964 [bright tone] 3 00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:08,800 [all chanting] Curzuz! Curzuz! Curzuz! 4 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,176 Yes, welcome. 5 00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:11,261 Welcome to "Curzuz," 6 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:13,930 the culture's favorite battle of music magic. 7 00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:16,099 I am your host and DJ, D-Nice. 8 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,350 [cheers and applause] 9 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:18,977 Tonight, we got Kayutie. 10 00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:20,311 [cheers and applause] 11 00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:21,896 Yes, yes, yes! 12 00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,648 And we have Bodegia in the building. 13 00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:24,899 [cheers and applause] 14 00:00:24,899 --> 00:00:25,984 - Give it up, give it up! - Thank you, thank you. 15 00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:26,985 You look good, girl. 16 00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,236 I haven't seen you since the Voodoo Awards. 17 00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:29,446 What's it been, like, 400 years? 18 00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:30,655 You know, you really are a bad witch, 19 00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:31,614 and I'm not just saying that 20 00:00:31,614 --> 00:00:33,199 'cause you be necromancin' everybody's mans. 21 00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:34,909 Yeah, the dick is alive, but the rest of the body dead. 22 00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:35,910 - [laughs] - All right. 23 00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:36,911 Let's get right into it. 24 00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:37,954 Round one. 25 00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:39,038 It wouldn't be Curzuz 26 00:00:39,038 --> 00:00:41,166 if we don't start with actual curses. 27 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,125 Well, one thing about me, 28 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,793 all my verses come with curses. 29 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:45,920 Kayutie's potions are dry, no lotion. 30 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,006 Please, my rhymes will put your man under a spell, 31 00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:51,468 Bodegia, so you better warlock him down! 32 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:52,469 I know... 33 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,137 - all: That's right! - Eh! 34 00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,014 Well, I'm 1,000 years old, so I'll go first. 35 00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:58,349 This is the spell that I used to put Dru Hill back together, 36 00:00:58,349 --> 00:00:59,309 then break them up ten minutes later 37 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,310 on live radio. 38 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:01,644 all: Damn! 39 00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:03,188 DJ D-Nice, drop the beat! 40 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:04,898 [hip-hop music playing] 41 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,941 Bodegia! 42 00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:08,735 Look, listen. 43 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:09,736 Look. 44 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,446 Listen. 45 00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:12,989 ♪ Flim flam, I got tea to spill ♪ 46 00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:14,824 ♪ I do what no other witch will ♪ 47 00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:16,951 ♪ Woody went solo, gave God the praise ♪ 48 00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:18,578 ♪ And Sisqo said "What?" and pulled out his braids ♪ 49 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,622 ♪ Splitting up groups is what I do ♪ 50 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:21,956 ♪ Put 'em back together, you can call me the glue ♪ 51 00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:23,041 ♪ I said, put 'em back together ♪ 52 00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:24,292 ♪ You can call me the glue ♪ 53 00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:26,461 ♪ Put 'em back together, you can call me the glue ♪ 54 00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:27,879 [cheers and applause] 55 00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:29,672 Okay! I didn't know that was you. 56 00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:31,257 Thank you. Thank you. 57 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,676 Uh, you better make your next curse your best curse, Kayutie. 58 00:01:33,676 --> 00:01:35,011 Okay. Don't boss me around. 59 00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:36,012 He mad 'cause we broke up. 60 00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:37,555 - Yes, we did fuck. - Ooh, I like that. 61 00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:39,182 'Cause I'ma give 'em some heat. 62 00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:41,810 This is the curse I put on Drake's dance moves 63 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,311 in "Hotline Bling." 64 00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:44,354 Give me that beat! 65 00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:46,356 [hip-hop music playing] 66 00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:48,858 ♪ From wheelchairs to wheels up he got the game on lock ♪ 67 00:01:48,858 --> 00:01:51,361 ♪ Got 12 different accents, he can't be stopped ♪ 68 00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,655 ♪ He a rude boy, like a island ting ♪ 69 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:56,199 ♪ Didn't call me back, I cursed "Hotline Bling" ♪ 70 00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:58,493 ♪ What, what, I cursed "Hotline Bling" ♪ 71 00:01:58,493 --> 00:01:59,828 ♪ I what, what ♪ 72 00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:00,870 ♪ I cursed "Hotline Bling" ♪ 73 00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:02,163 ♪ I what, what ♪ 74 00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:03,540 ♪ I cursed "Hotline Bling" ♪ 75 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,834 [cheers and applause] 76 00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:08,002 Yeah, that's what happens when you don't call me back. 77 00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:09,254 [scoffs] 78 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:11,047 Damn, payback's a witch! And that's on... 79 00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:12,382 all: Alakazam! 80 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,300 Yo, yo, watch where you're shouting those spells. 81 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,343 Oh, sorry, D-Nice. 82 00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:16,386 Round two, everyone. 83 00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:17,887 We did it big with curses. 84 00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:19,556 Now it's time to hit us with your best collabs. 85 00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:20,682 Me first this time! 86 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:21,724 Y'all know this one. 87 00:02:21,724 --> 00:02:23,726 This one went instant platinum. 88 00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:25,395 - Oh, you coming with it today! - That's right. 89 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,313 Now, this is a curse I put on Lil Jon and Usher 90 00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:28,690 to bring them together for "Yeah." 91 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,191 'Member that? Yeah! 92 00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:31,359 Let me get that beat! 93 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:34,195 [hip-hop music playing] 94 00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:35,905 Duke Ellington on the keys. 95 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:37,740 She got Duke Ellington. How'd she do that? 96 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:40,702 ♪ From hip-hops to drop tops ♪ 97 00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:43,288 ♪ Seven o'clock on the drizzop ♪ 98 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,582 ♪ Music so Hpnotiq it will make you drunk ♪ 99 00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,917 ♪ Usher bring the beat, Lil Jon bring the crunk ♪ 100 00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:50,420 ♪ Hip-hops and drop tops ♪ 101 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,046 ♪ Seven o'clock on the drizzop ♪ 102 00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:53,256 What, what? 103 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,300 ♪ This your favorite song and it been for years ♪ 104 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,802 ♪ You can learn to twerk if you face your fears ♪ 105 00:02:57,802 --> 00:02:59,637 ♪ Twerk it, twerk it, twerk it ♪ 106 00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,306 ♪ Twerk it, twerk it, twerk it ♪ 107 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,266 ♪ Twerk it, twerk it, twerk it ♪ 108 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,976 ♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪ 109 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:07,604 ♪ Ah, ah, I got asthma ♪ 110 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:08,897 - [cheers and applause] - Wow. 111 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,106 You know, that's gonna be hard to top. 112 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:11,232 Okay, thank you. 113 00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,067 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was cute or whatever. 114 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,069 But I'm 'bout to witch slap y'all with this next one. 115 00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,070 And that's on the... 116 00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:17,405 all: Brujas! 117 00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:18,448 This is the one I used 118 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,199 to get Mariah Carey and ODB to collab. 119 00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:21,659 It changed the game. 120 00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,745 DJ D-Nice, drop the beat. 121 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:26,414 [hip-hop music playing] 122 00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:27,415 Ooh, I like this. 123 00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:29,292 Here we go. 124 00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:31,628 Yeah. Yeah. 125 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,589 ♪ Don't bug me, these hits are butterfly ♪ 126 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:38,426 ♪ My girl's hitting notes eight octaves up high, high ♪ 127 00:03:38,426 --> 00:03:40,136 ♪ Rap and R&B make ya say hot damn ♪ 128 00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:41,804 ♪ With the Wu-Tang Clan and the Queen of the Lambs ♪ 129 00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:43,681 ♪ I said rap and R&B make ya say hot damn ♪ 130 00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:45,475 ♪ With the Wu-Tang Clan and the Queen of the Lambs ♪ 131 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:48,436 - [cheers and applause] - Yes! That was fire! 132 00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:50,647 Okay, that was cute or whatever, 133 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:53,483 but it's time to get romantic on these witches. 134 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:54,525 Aw, yeah. 135 00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:57,278 Final round: love spells. 136 00:03:57,278 --> 00:03:58,613 My turn! I love a love spell. 137 00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:00,990 And that's on... all: Black love! 138 00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:03,242 DJ D-Nice, give me something smooth. 139 00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:05,411 [R&B music playing] 140 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,330 I'm about to get delicate in this motherfucker. 141 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,957 This is for all the people in the crowd 142 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:09,958 who's gonna fuck tonight 143 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,334 on their backs and on their bellies. 144 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,336 - I'ma do both. - Wow. 145 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,629 ♪ ♪ 146 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,339 ♪ Fire, brimstone ♪ 147 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,675 ♪ High notes and dribbles ♪ 148 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:22,553 ♪ We need a real love that is mad official ♪ 149 00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:26,516 ♪ Make it last forever until ♪ 150 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:30,103 ♪ And that's on Tamia and Grant Hill, yeah ♪ 151 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,438 [cheers and applause] 152 00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:35,566 Oh, we doin' sports and music bae collabs? 153 00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:37,318 That's when I get in my bag. 154 00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:38,611 Let me get one more. I know... 155 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,321 all: That's right! 156 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,031 D-Nice, make it sexy. 157 00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:43,574 [soft R&B music playing] 158 00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:44,575 - Ooh. - Oh, this is the-- 159 00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:45,827 this one was number one. This is--I like this one. 160 00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:46,828 Yeah. This was number one. 161 00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,371 - This is my best one. - Yeah, I like this one. 162 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:49,372 ♪ ♪ 163 00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:50,873 ♪ Curses, spells, and seances ♪ 164 00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:52,834 ♪ Nowhere, uh ♪ 165 00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:55,420 ♪ My good sis called on God with a prayer ♪ 166 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:56,504 ♪ Yeah ♪ 167 00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:57,714 ♪ Saw it fly by ♪ 168 00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:59,882 ♪ I flicked my wand, yeah ♪ 169 00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:03,594 ♪ Thank me for Ciara and Russell Wilson, yeah ♪ 170 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:06,055 ♪ If you like that, you gon' like this battle ♪ 171 00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:07,306 all: ♪ Yeah ♪ 172 00:05:07,306 --> 00:05:10,893 ♪ I'ma give you something that's more better, yeah ♪ 173 00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:13,229 ♪ Look at me, baby, 'cause I'm better ♪ 174 00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:14,355 ♪ Yeah ♪ 175 00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:16,774 ♪ I just won this Curzuz 'cause I'm better ♪ 176 00:05:16,774 --> 00:05:18,109 all: Yeah! 177 00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:21,195 [cheers and applause] 178 00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:22,864 This has been "Curzuz." 179 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:25,908 I'll see you next time on the Sorcerer Awards. 180 00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,410 ♪ ♪ 181 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,537 [Doechii's "I Told Em"] 182 00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:31,372 ♪ We told 'em we was kings, we showed 'em the machine ♪ 183 00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:33,374 ♪ I been gave 'em the keys, I been flew overseas ♪ 184 00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,543 ♪ I been knew I'm a queen, I been knew I was free ♪ 185 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:37,545 ♪ I told 'em, I told 'em, I told 'em, goddamn ♪ 186 00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:39,547 ♪ I been whippin' the rolls, I been bookin' the shows ♪ 187 00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:41,591 ♪ I been takin' the hoes, they been calling me doe ♪ 188 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,593 ♪ I been pickin' the clothes, I been knew I was gold ♪ 189 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,219 ♪ I told 'em, I told 'em, I told 'em ♪ 190 00:05:45,219 --> 00:05:48,723 ♪ Holla, ooh ♪ 191 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:51,267 ♪ I told 'em, goddamn ♪ 192 00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,311 ♪ What you told 'em ♪ 193 00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:57,106 ♪ The funk don't matter if it's not cross chatter ♪ 194 00:05:57,106 --> 00:06:00,026 ♪ If the Black Lives Matter I would know ♪ 195 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,611 ♪ What you told 'em, what you told 'em, goddamn ♪ 196 00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,112 ♪ ♪ 197 00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:04,614 ♪ I would know, what you told 'em ♪ 198 00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,157 ♪ What you told 'em, goddamn ♪ 199 00:06:07,241 --> 00:06:10,411 [upbeat percussive music] 200 00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:12,914 [elephant trumpeting] 201 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,916 Welcome to "Black Table Talk," 202 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,502 the only place on the "Hworld Hwite Web" 203 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,962 where we can have an honest conversation 204 00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:21,798 about the systematic destruction 205 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,299 of Black culture. 206 00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:26,552 {\an8}I'm your host, Dr. Haddassah Olayinka 207 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:29,639 {\an8}Ali-Youngman, pre-PhD, 208 00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,140 {\an8}and today, my guest is-- 209 00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:32,642 {\an8}Yeah, no, I'm not doing this. 210 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:33,976 {\an8}[laughs] Nope. 211 00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:35,103 {\an8}You can take my name 212 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,270 {\an8}right off of the lower third. 213 00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,106 Oh, Colman Domingo. 214 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,775 I like the aggression, my king. 215 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,276 Laying down the law from the beginning. 216 00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:44,237 I like it. Welcome to the show. 217 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,322 No need to welcome me. You tricked me into being here. 218 00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:47,281 You said it was gonna be 219 00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:49,075 a sit-down interview with Oprah. 220 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,910 - Yes, I did say that. - Yeah, you lied to me. 221 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,203 - No. - "No." 222 00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,454 - You misheard me. - Did I? 223 00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:54,539 See, see, see, 224 00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:57,291 I said it's gonna be a sit-down interview... 225 00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:59,669 - With? - Dr. Haddassah Olayinka 226 00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:01,629 Ali-Youngman, pre-PhD. 227 00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:03,214 - Not at all. - They sound alike. 228 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,883 Nope, not in any world do they sound alike. 229 00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:07,009 Agree to disagree. 230 00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,177 Well, you're superglued to the chair, 231 00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:09,345 so you can't leave now. 232 00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:12,515 Today's topic: the desecration of Black men in media. 233 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:15,059 I thought the topic was acting for activists. 234 00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:16,853 I don't see Jesse Williams here. 235 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,187 - I'm a feminist. - You're a what? 236 00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:19,480 - A feminist. - Hah! 237 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:20,690 - What's wrong with that? - Hey! 238 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:22,024 You don't believe in feminism? 239 00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:23,651 Absolutely not! 240 00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:25,153 Well, how-- how is that possible? 241 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:27,738 - You're a woman. - I am a female! 242 00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:29,991 What questions do you have for me today? 243 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,325 - Mr. Colman Domingo. - Yes. 244 00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:32,493 Colman Domingo, you are on-- 245 00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:33,578 Why do you say my name like that? 246 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,830 - Colman Domingo! - Okay, wow! That's so much. 247 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,165 I don't know why it's so much. Anyway. 248 00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:38,249 Colman Domingo! 249 00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:39,917 Now, you play a drug dealer 250 00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:42,211 on a hit HBO television series, 251 00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:43,880 "Eu... 252 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,173 four-I-A." 253 00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:50,052 No, absolutely not true, and it's called "Euphoria." 254 00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:52,763 Okay. I'm sorry, no, go ahead. You have questions. 255 00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:55,266 Now, "hwhy" do you think this is the right way 256 00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:57,894 to portray Black men on television? 257 00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,937 All those "hwite" people watching? 258 00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:01,564 [laughing] I'm not playing a drug dealer. 259 00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:02,523 He's not a drug dealer. 260 00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:03,858 - He's a former addict. - Ah! 261 00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:06,277 And, uh, a sponsor to the central character, 262 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:08,196 and he's really just offering a bit of light 263 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,530 and humanity to the show. 264 00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,741 You're also in another movie 265 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,367 called "The Color Purple." 266 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:14,535 Now, what do you have against 267 00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:16,078 the colors red, black, and green? 268 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:17,538 Nothing. I don't have any problems with those-- 269 00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:19,498 Now, you starred in a movie called "Candyman." 270 00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:20,499 Yes. 271 00:08:20,499 --> 00:08:21,542 Why you so obsessed with Black people 272 00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:22,627 getting stung by bees, Colman? 273 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:24,378 [laughs] Okay, I get it. I think I see. 274 00:08:24,378 --> 00:08:26,964 - This isn't funny, Colman! - You're insane. I get it. 275 00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:28,799 Oh, wow, Colman. 276 00:08:28,799 --> 00:08:30,259 You know what's insane? 277 00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:32,261 Black on Hook violence. 278 00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:36,224 Now, Colman Domingo, I see here that you are an Afro-Latino. 279 00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:38,392 Where is Afro-Latinia? 280 00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:39,602 It's not a country. 281 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,437 - Tu hablas español? - Maybe. 282 00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:43,356 Sí, sí, sí. 283 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,732 Now, that one was in Spanish. 284 00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:47,235 Mr. Colman Domingo, you recently won an Emmy award. 285 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:48,486 I did. Thank you so much. 286 00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:50,238 Now, why would you name that after a young "hwite" woman? 287 00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:51,656 Why do you hit that H so hard? 288 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,574 - You say it. - White. 289 00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:54,742 "Hwite." 290 00:08:54,742 --> 00:08:57,078 You have a--what is a Tony Award nomination? 291 00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,412 What does that even mean? 292 00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:00,081 That--uh, that's for my work onstage, 293 00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:01,749 and it was for a show called "The Scottsboro Boys," 294 00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:04,252 'cause I'm a song and dance man. 295 00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:05,336 A "hwat"? 296 00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:06,837 Oh, God, I know what you're gonna say. 297 00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:08,089 You know the only song I know, Colman? 298 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:09,131 What? 299 00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:10,466 ♪ Wade ♪ 300 00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:13,135 ♪ In the water ♪ 301 00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:15,096 That's a dirge. You know that, right? 302 00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:17,807 ♪ Wade ♪ 303 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,517 ♪ In the water ♪ 304 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,478 both: ♪ Children, wade ♪ 305 00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:25,564 ♪ In the water ♪ 306 00:09:25,564 --> 00:09:28,484 ♪ God's gonna trouble ♪ 307 00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,736 ♪ The water ♪ 308 00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:32,029 Colman, that was a beautiful moment. 309 00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:33,114 Thank you, thank you. 310 00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,573 Now, you were in something called 311 00:09:34,573 --> 00:09:36,450 "Ma Rainey's Black Bottom"? 312 00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:37,785 Do you even watch any of this stuff? 313 00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:39,537 - Not a one. - Of course you don't. 314 00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:41,163 So you're just reading titles off that card. 315 00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:43,040 I'm not reading. These are pictures. 316 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,917 - Do you read? - Why would I do that? 317 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,002 Well, let me help you. 318 00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:47,586 You should see other shows 319 00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:49,839 because you will realize that we're not trying 320 00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:52,091 to destroy Black culture, you know? 321 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,802 What you're doing is devaluing all these incredible artists 322 00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,554 that have made such an impact, okay? 323 00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,347 All right, just because we have, you know, 324 00:09:58,347 --> 00:09:59,348 "The Color Purple" in the title. 325 00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:01,517 - Huh! - Or the phrase "Black Bottom." 326 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:03,519 - Hah! - The--you'll see that 327 00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,062 if we didn't do these things, 328 00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:06,647 we would have no representation. 329 00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:08,232 If we have no representation, 330 00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:11,068 then our legacies would just be wiped out. 331 00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:12,737 [uplifting music] 332 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:13,988 Maybe you're right. 333 00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,740 ♪ ♪ 334 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,074 Thank you. 335 00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:18,075 Thank you, my king. 336 00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:19,076 Oh, you're very welcome. 337 00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:21,037 Yes, you have taught me so much today. 338 00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:23,080 You're welcome, sis. 339 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,999 I just have one final question for you. 340 00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:26,250 Okay. 341 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:29,045 What is "If Beale Street Could Talk"? 342 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:32,965 Why would you have a historic Black street talkin'? 343 00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:34,759 Isn't it bad enough that "hwite" people 344 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:37,511 are trampling all over it every day? 345 00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:40,056 The ducks coming out to that hotel, 346 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,932 waddlin' on it? 347 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:44,060 Duck, Duck, Goose, guess who's an idiot. 348 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,102 Black people! 349 00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:47,605 Can you tweet this to your followers on Tic Tac? 350 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:49,023 - You have Instagram? - A "hwat"? 351 00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,191 IG. Do you have Facebook? 352 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,359 Why would I put my face on a book? 353 00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:52,360 Well, do you have Myspace? 354 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,527 Are you talking about BlackPlanet? 355 00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:54,862 Well, where is this airing? 356 00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:55,863 - This? - Yes. 357 00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:57,156 It doesn't. 358 00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,742 That's all the time we have for "Black Table Talk." 359 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:02,244 [elephant trumpeting] 360 00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:04,038 [panther snarling] 361 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,581 [soft music] 362 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:08,959 Karlie Chanel is a motivationalist, 363 00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:10,711 inspirationalist, 364 00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:13,589 published author on Pinterest-alist, 365 00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:16,258 the rainbow after the brainstorm. 366 00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:19,762 TV executives, please welcome... 367 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,056 Ms. Karlie Chanel! 368 00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:24,100 [scattered applause] 369 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,267 [laughs] 370 00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:26,685 Did she just introduce herself? 371 00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:27,978 She's been standing behind the curtain 372 00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:30,523 the whole goddamn time like this is a magic show. 373 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,441 Get ready, networks, 374 00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:34,944 because I, Karlie Chanel, 375 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:38,447 am here to offer up my goddess-given gifts 376 00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:41,075 in the form of TV bliss. 377 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,326 [laughs] 378 00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:43,577 America is suffering. 379 00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:44,578 I'm suffering. 380 00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:47,415 People are spending 47 hours a day 381 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:51,877 doomscrolling and dying under weighted blankets. 382 00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:55,923 But to quote my extended relative, Pocahontas, 383 00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:57,758 the life that they're looking for... 384 00:11:57,758 --> 00:12:00,302 [mimicking echo] For... is "just around the riverbend." 385 00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:03,472 So I present to you, TV-EOs, 386 00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:06,642 "Crossing Streams with Karlie Chanel." 387 00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:07,852 That reminds me, 388 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,478 I need to get my prostate checked. 389 00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:10,521 I can hear you. 390 00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:11,439 I thought I did that last night. 391 00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:12,648 Oh, girl, you did. 392 00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:13,732 - [both chuckling] - Did I do a good job? 393 00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:14,984 You got up in there. I'm like-- 394 00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,611 "Crossing Streams" is 42 minutes 395 00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:19,780 of monologues, cooking segments, 396 00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:21,449 and--[screaming] 397 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:22,491 Oh. 398 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,120 Primal screaming 399 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,830 that'll have you falling in love 400 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,124 with your destiny's inner child. 401 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,835 Can I get a "CB-Yes" from CBS? 402 00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,628 - Oh, God. - Huh? 403 00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:36,881 Are you ready to dream the stream? 404 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,883 CBS doesn't dream. 405 00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:40,676 We keep one eye open. 406 00:12:40,676 --> 00:12:42,511 No deal. I'll see you in the car. 407 00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:43,596 Mm. Get the little-- 408 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:47,850 NBC, do you "NB-See" what I'm sayin'? 409 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:50,352 I'll bring the "law," 410 00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:54,064 you bring the multi-series "order"! 411 00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:55,024 ♪ The more you ♪ 412 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,275 No. 413 00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:57,860 Come on, guys. Let's go. 414 00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,153 B-b-but wait! 415 00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,404 There's more! 416 00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:01,655 Where are you all going? 417 00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:03,032 I'll give you an eight-figure deal 418 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,825 on the spot, my little mint foolep. 419 00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:05,910 [gasping] 420 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,703 But it comes at a price. 421 00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:08,662 [demonic voice] Your soul. 422 00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:11,457 - Oh, no. Not you again. - Yes. 423 00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:15,586 I've already delivered 666 Karliebelle souls to hell! 424 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:19,089 I can give you three primetime specials. 425 00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:20,925 Might as well rename yourself Lizzo, 426 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,802 'cause all that cash is gonna feel good as hell. 427 00:13:23,802 --> 00:13:25,763 If I wanted to make a deal with the devil, 428 00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:27,848 I would just win "American Idol." 429 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:30,226 And you would know that if you ever read 430 00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,770 my self-published e-book entitled, 431 00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:36,273 "To Make a Deal with the Devil, Win 'American Idol.'" 432 00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:38,526 I'm talking international distribution, 433 00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,152 my little honey-baked hot comb. 434 00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,363 You'll be more worldwide than Pitbull, 435 00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:44,907 and not the ones white women adopt and put in tutus. 436 00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:46,158 Wait. 437 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:50,704 I could be an international inspirational motivationalist? 438 00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:53,207 Oh, so far, the only borders that I've reached 439 00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:54,250 are the closed bookstores. 440 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,086 Yes. It's so sad, if you think about it. 441 00:13:57,086 --> 00:14:00,965 But with my help, people won't call you "Noprah Losefrey." 442 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,050 I'll have a deal that'll gas you up! 443 00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:05,344 [banjo music] 444 00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:08,222 Ah, well, look who it is. 445 00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:11,475 My old rival, gas station TV. 446 00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:13,310 You know, with all these electric vehicles, 447 00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:15,729 I thought you'd gone the way of Quibi. 448 00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:16,730 Dead. 449 00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:17,815 [laughs] Hardly. 450 00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:20,025 Just like racism, we'll be here forever. 451 00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:21,735 - I hate that for us. - Ms. Chanel, 452 00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:24,154 if you sign with Two Pumps and a Bump TV, 453 00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:26,907 you will be the face of our network. 454 00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:29,910 That means everyone everywhere will think of you 455 00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:31,620 when they pass gas. 456 00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:32,621 Stations. 457 00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:34,248 Gas stations. 458 00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:35,708 Thinkin' of you. 459 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,460 The--passing gas stations. 460 00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,671 Why would I want that? [laughs] 461 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,631 As I said in my blog post, 462 00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:45,467 "How to Retain Hot Air: 463 00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:48,137 Flatulence, It Is A Sign of Weakness," 464 00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:50,514 you want to associate your brand with class, 465 00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:51,974 not gas. 466 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:54,810 Ha! Looks like I've won, Gaseous Clay. 467 00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:55,811 Hold on, 468 00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:58,564 Evander Not-So-Holyfield. 469 00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,107 Fortune is fleeting. 470 00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:02,234 So if I sell you my soul, 471 00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:04,778 you have to make me a household name. 472 00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:05,779 [laughs] 473 00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,114 Fine. 474 00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:10,117 But only 'cause you're sweet, Stevia Wonder. 475 00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:12,119 I'll not only make you famous. 476 00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:14,455 I'll make sure you're the only person in the world 477 00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:15,623 with a talk show. 478 00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:18,208 You'll have less competition than the Food Network. 479 00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:20,044 It is my eternity of yes! 480 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:21,420 Excellent. 481 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:22,713 Sign here. 482 00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,757 Now, I normally have people sign in blood, 483 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,383 but your blood type is AB-Annoying. 484 00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:27,551 Ah! 485 00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:30,304 Congratulations, people of Earth! 486 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:33,182 You get to revolve around me now! 487 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,183 Aht-aht-aht. 488 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:35,225 Not so fast, butterbutts. 489 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:36,268 Huh? 490 00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:37,811 I didn't say which planet. 491 00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:39,188 Enjoy your little talk show... 492 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,314 [demonic voice] On Mars! 493 00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,274 [laughing] 494 00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:45,444 Uhh! 495 00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:47,863 [laughter echoing] 496 00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:50,532 {\an8}[upbeat music] 497 00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:51,575 {\an8}What up, fam? 498 00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:54,119 {\an8}It's your girl Cookie motherfuckin' Carusso 499 00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:55,663 {\an8}on my acting shit! 500 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,331 {\an8}Yo, and you know me. 501 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,667 I'm famously famous for playing the devil, 502 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:00,793 motherfuckers! 503 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:01,835 Ha-ha! 504 00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:03,212 Yo, shout out to TMZ. 505 00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,214 Y'all didn't catch me at the airport earlier, 506 00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:07,758 but you can catch me coppin' free sushi and shit 507 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,385 at Nobu Maliboots! 508 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:12,429 I be gettin' real nigiri-ish up in there, eh-eh! 509 00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:14,014 Yo, one thing about me, 510 00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:16,266 I don't get crazy at auditions, you know what I'm sayin', 511 00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:18,227 'cause I don' fuck with auditions. 512 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:20,062 I just show up, and boom! 513 00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,480 It's a show. Ha! 514 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,107 Like right now, y'all can't play me. 515 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:25,192 I know this is really a episode of "Hot Ones." 516 00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:26,276 Bring the wings! 517 00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:28,070 {\an8}Here's your wings, 518 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,697 {\an8}'cause you so fly. 519 00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,198 {\an8}All right, Margarita. 520 00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,367 This bitch is always trying to convince folks 521 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,368 she on "Hot Ones," 522 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,704 but that's just her regular lunch. 523 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,163 [coughing] 524 00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:39,373 Oh, shit! 525 00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:40,416 Ah! 526 00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:41,959 What is this, the motherfuckin' ten? 527 00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:43,544 - It's just garlic parmesan. - Goddamn! 528 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:44,545 Shit! 529 00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:47,548 {\an8}[coughing] 530 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,341 {\an8}♪ ♪ 531 00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:53,303 {\an8}[uplifting music] 532 00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:55,097 - Good job, runners! - Good, good, good, good, good! 533 00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,432 There you go, there you go! 534 00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:58,100 Uh-huh! Yeah! 535 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,477 Look at y'all out here running like some Kenyans! 536 00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:01,603 - Yes! - [laughing] 537 00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:03,313 Love to see it! 538 00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,107 [clears throat] More like some Preten-yans. 539 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,567 - [both laughing] - And I should know, 540 00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,652 because I am Deena Daleedah, the Speed Walkin' Diva, 541 00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:10,779 1979 champ, what you say! 542 00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:13,407 Oh, I didn't say anything, Miss Daleedah, 543 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,451 but it's such an honor to stand next to a winner. 544 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:16,744 I'm always runner up. 545 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,245 Ooh, runner? 546 00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,413 Oh, no, no, now, Marta, please. 547 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:20,539 I don't do no running, honey. 548 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,958 No, no, no, see, I--I sashay. 549 00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,168 [laughs] 550 00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:25,794 You got it, runners! 551 00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:29,339 When I run, my knees sound like Savion Glover tap dancing. 552 00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:30,966 [imitating tap dancing] Ow! Ow! 553 00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:32,259 That sounds really painful. 554 00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:34,636 - Oh! Want some water? - Deena, look. 555 00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,054 - Mm. - Let me give you the rundown. 556 00:17:36,054 --> 00:17:37,431 Oh, I don't do no runnin'! 557 00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:38,766 Go on, give me a, "What you say!" 558 00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:39,808 What you say! 559 00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,435 Can we not do this this year? I'm exhausted. 560 00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:43,353 I was up all night catfishing my husband's mistress. 561 00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:44,938 I'm so sorry about your broken home, 562 00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:46,774 but have you ever broken a record 563 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:47,775 keeping straight legs 564 00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:48,984 at a moderately fast pace to claim-- 565 00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:50,736 Claim all glory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 566 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,821 You tell more lies than my husband in couples counseling. 567 00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:54,448 - Always running your mouth. - Hey, hey! 568 00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:55,699 I don't do no runnin'. 569 00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:57,868 You do know that it takes more muscles 570 00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,077 to walk than to run. 571 00:17:59,077 --> 00:18:00,454 Did you know that? Huh? Can I get a "what you say"? 572 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:01,622 What you say! 573 00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:04,333 Okay, hand me a synthetic wig, 'cause I love being 574 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,168 the Anderson Paak to your Bruno Mars. 575 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:07,169 [both laughing] 576 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:08,462 [laughs mockingly] Dang, Marta. 577 00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:09,713 What are you, Skechers Shape-Ups? 578 00:18:09,713 --> 00:18:10,839 Always making me look bad. 579 00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:13,175 Deena, why don't you just sign up, pay the goddamn fee, 580 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,259 and run if you're so good? 581 00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:18,013 Deena Daleedah don't do no runnin', okay? 582 00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,182 You want me out here sweatin' my edges out, huh? 583 00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:21,892 Nips gettin' chafed and bending my knees? 584 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:23,227 - For what? - You say! 585 00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:24,853 Oh, oh. 586 00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,855 If it isn't Little Miss Althea. 587 00:18:26,855 --> 00:18:28,065 I need water. 588 00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:29,441 Just water, Deena. Don't give me no shit. 589 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:30,818 Uh... oh. 590 00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:31,860 Mm. [chuckles] 591 00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,487 You sure you just want water, huh? 592 00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:35,114 Come on, Harriet Tubman. Just give me my-- 593 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,323 Mm! 594 00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:37,491 - I'm not playing with you. - Mm-hmm. You sure? 595 00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:38,534 - I'm not playing with you. - Did you come over here 596 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:39,993 - just to get water? - Come--give me my water. 597 00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:41,662 Just to get--just to get-- just to get-- 598 00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,831 oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 599 00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,124 Whoo! There it is. 600 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,333 You sure you here for just some water? 601 00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,585 Hmm? Hmm? Did you come here 602 00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:50,921 my speedwalking medal? 603 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:51,880 That's what you did. 604 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,299 You know Deena's got more fans 605 00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:55,717 than a Southern church in the summer. 606 00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:56,718 - Whoo! - Ah! 607 00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:58,428 - What you say! - What you say! 608 00:18:58,428 --> 00:18:59,888 - Ha! - It's a medal! 609 00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:02,766 I say it's a participation medal. 610 00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:03,809 Oh. Ooh, that's what you say? 611 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:04,893 Every year, you out here 612 00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:07,646 "what you saying" us real athletes to death 613 00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:10,691 while you Cha Cha Slide on the side. 614 00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:12,025 Ooh! Hey! 615 00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:14,945 Speedwalking is way harder than the Cha Cha Slide. 616 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,363 So take it back now, y'all! 617 00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:17,364 - [grunts] - Look at her. 618 00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:18,657 She don't look like she never won nothing. 619 00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,659 - You ain't either! - Uh, hello. 620 00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:22,536 That medal says you just tried. 621 00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:23,537 [both gasping] 622 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:26,206 Ooh! 623 00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:27,624 [laughing] 624 00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:29,293 Oh, you want to see the diva in action. 625 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:30,419 - Mm-hmm. - No. 626 00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:33,755 I want to see the diva make some traction. 627 00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:35,090 I'm out. 628 00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:36,592 I'm going to set my husband's car on fire. 629 00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,010 Go, girl! 630 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,887 You know what would make me feel good? 631 00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:40,971 Huh? 632 00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:43,098 You actually running. 633 00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:45,559 Oh, don't you worry your little pretty self, okay? 634 00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:48,896 I'm going to take it easy on you, Miss Althea Kibson-- 635 00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,731 yeah, one letter away from greatness! 636 00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,733 - Oh, oh! [laughs] - [laughs] 637 00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:54,067 Eat my dust! 638 00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:55,402 Oh, no, you... 639 00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:57,446 Get it, Deena! 640 00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:58,530 [muffled cheering] You're like a cheetah! 641 00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:01,533 [uplifting music] 642 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:06,788 {\an8}[in slow motion] What you say, Deena! 643 00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:08,832 ♪ ♪ 644 00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:12,419 Go, Deena! 645 00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:17,257 ♪ ♪ 646 00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:19,509 What you say! 647 00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:21,303 Ooh! Ooh! 648 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:22,429 I told y'all! 649 00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:24,056 Well, good for you. 650 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,266 Yet again, you just tried. 651 00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:28,310 [laughs] 652 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,853 We both literally came in last. 653 00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:31,939 What you say! 654 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,607 ♪ ♪ 655 00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:34,608 {\an8}[light music] 656 00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:36,276 {\an8}[screaming, coughing] 657 00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:37,945 {\an8}Yo, Margarita, you motherfuckin' bitch! 658 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,321 {\an8}You did this to me! 659 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,114 {\an8}I didn't do anything! 660 00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:42,157 Ah! 661 00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:43,283 My name is Margo. 662 00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:44,910 She's been calling me Margarita for years. 663 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,161 {\an8}Ah! 664 00:20:46,161 --> 00:20:47,329 {\an8}Yo, I swear to God, 665 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:48,455 {\an8}I should've left your ass 666 00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:50,832 in the gutter at Harvard where I found your ass. 667 00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:52,584 I went to Howard. 668 00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:53,627 Ahh... 669 00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:54,795 ah! 670 00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:55,879 Ahh! 671 00:20:55,879 --> 00:20:57,339 See, there was hot sauce in my hand, 672 00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:59,216 and it went in my eye and shit! 673 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:01,218 Okay, I'ma lick it off. 674 00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:03,178 [screams] Had a cut on my tongue! 675 00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:04,930 Shit! Oh, God. 676 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:06,348 Ah, now it's in my wig! 677 00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:07,432 Goddamn it! 678 00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:08,892 - You want some milk? - I gotta fin--no! 679 00:21:08,892 --> 00:21:09,935 Get that white shit out of here! 680 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,228 {\an8}I don't drink no white shit. 681 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,730 {\an8}♪ ♪ 682 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,317 Ugh, Mom, 683 00:21:17,317 --> 00:21:18,819 this wedding is so expensive, 684 00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:21,530 I promise you, it's about to go from black-tie optional 685 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:22,823 to food optional. 686 00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:25,993 Janaya, I told you to make it BYOB: bring your own buffet. 687 00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:27,953 - You did. - You know what? 688 00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:29,454 I think it's time to give you 689 00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:31,790 something that my mother gave me. 690 00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:33,667 The sickle-cell trait? 691 00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:34,918 Yes. 692 00:21:34,918 --> 00:21:36,837 But also this. 693 00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:38,714 [gasps] 694 00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:40,257 [angelic choir singing] 695 00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:42,050 Your restaurant napkins? 696 00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:43,218 [laughs] 697 00:21:43,218 --> 00:21:45,554 N-no, I can't take these. 698 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,556 Mom, I'm... 699 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:48,724 I'm not ready. 700 00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:51,101 Oh, sweetheart, you're more than ready. 701 00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:54,021 This is a family tradition spanning back 702 00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:57,190 to when your great-grandmother was the first Black woman 703 00:21:57,190 --> 00:22:00,402 to be seated at the whites-only White Castle. 704 00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:01,445 Ooh! 705 00:22:01,445 --> 00:22:03,905 I should use these napkins for my reception. 706 00:22:03,905 --> 00:22:04,990 [gasps] Ooh! 707 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,366 Or I should sell them 708 00:22:06,366 --> 00:22:08,368 to pay for my "Making the Band" cover band! 709 00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:09,369 [ominous music] 710 00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:10,871 - Ah! - Child, are you damaged? 711 00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:13,749 These napkins are for emergencies. 712 00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:16,418 Lap picnics, boob sweat, 713 00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:18,211 if you spill in your car-- 714 00:22:18,211 --> 00:22:19,796 and only in your car! 715 00:22:19,796 --> 00:22:20,797 Okay. 716 00:22:20,797 --> 00:22:22,090 You understand me? 717 00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:24,885 I have absorbed everything you've said, Mom. 718 00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:26,094 [laughs] 719 00:22:26,094 --> 00:22:28,764 Well... 720 00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:30,724 there's something else I want to share with you. 721 00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:31,767 Aw. 722 00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,268 I wanted to wait to give it to you 723 00:22:33,268 --> 00:22:35,520 until you foreclosed on your first house, 724 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,272 but I think you're ready. 725 00:22:37,272 --> 00:22:38,273 Okay. 726 00:22:38,273 --> 00:22:39,274 You know what this is. 727 00:22:39,274 --> 00:22:40,776 - [laughs] - [gasps] 728 00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:41,902 No. 729 00:22:41,902 --> 00:22:42,861 [angelic choir singing] 730 00:22:42,861 --> 00:22:44,571 Mom, come on. I can't take it. 731 00:22:44,571 --> 00:22:46,615 A remote control with no back? 732 00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:47,866 [gasps] 733 00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:49,076 Twisty ties! 734 00:22:49,076 --> 00:22:50,327 Peppermints. 735 00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:52,954 [gasps] A black coin. 736 00:22:52,954 --> 00:22:55,082 It could be a dime. It could be a penny. 737 00:22:55,082 --> 00:22:59,961 This is the cornerstone of every Black woman's household. 738 00:22:59,961 --> 00:23:02,172 But now it belongs to you. 739 00:23:02,172 --> 00:23:03,757 Oh! 740 00:23:03,757 --> 00:23:05,592 No, Mom. 741 00:23:05,592 --> 00:23:08,303 An unscratched scratch-off from 1994? 742 00:23:08,303 --> 00:23:11,556 I could never be as good a wife and mother as you. 743 00:23:11,556 --> 00:23:13,100 You won't. [chuckles] 744 00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:14,309 But you'll get close. 745 00:23:14,309 --> 00:23:15,811 [laughs] 746 00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:17,229 Let me get you a plastic bag 747 00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:18,814 so you can put your heirlooms in it. 748 00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:20,107 [clears throat] 749 00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:21,108 [suspenseful music] 750 00:23:21,108 --> 00:23:24,486 Where in the Sheryl Lee are my Ralphs bags? 751 00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:27,614 Where are my multicolor array of crumpled plastic bags? 752 00:23:27,614 --> 00:23:29,116 Maybe they just went out to get some air. 753 00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:30,617 Let me get a napkin. 754 00:23:30,617 --> 00:23:31,952 Oh, no, I'm not in the car. 755 00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:33,745 Mom, look at me. 756 00:23:33,745 --> 00:23:35,163 I... 757 00:23:35,163 --> 00:23:37,916 donated your plastic bags. 758 00:23:37,916 --> 00:23:38,917 [ominous music] 759 00:23:38,917 --> 00:23:42,504 "Donated"? 760 00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:46,007 You donate blood, money, food. 761 00:23:46,007 --> 00:23:47,342 Your edges. 762 00:23:47,342 --> 00:23:52,430 But plastic bags, we keep forever! 763 00:23:52,430 --> 00:23:55,100 Technically, we do keep them forever. 764 00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:56,768 A plastic's life cycle is-- 765 00:23:56,768 --> 00:23:58,478 is longer than a Georgia voting line. 766 00:23:58,478 --> 00:24:00,313 Why? 767 00:24:00,313 --> 00:24:06,486 18 years of free storage, gone! 768 00:24:06,486 --> 00:24:07,904 Oh! 769 00:24:07,904 --> 00:24:11,032 How am I going to store my tax receipts? 770 00:24:11,032 --> 00:24:12,826 I bought you the scanner last Christmas. 771 00:24:12,826 --> 00:24:15,495 Where am I gonna put the hair when I take my braids out? 772 00:24:15,495 --> 00:24:18,165 Mom, you haven't worn braids since 2008. 773 00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:19,666 - Mind your business. - Okay. 774 00:24:19,666 --> 00:24:21,710 - How am I gonna move? - Boxes. 775 00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:23,712 And when it's cold outside, 776 00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:27,132 how do I insulate my feet? 777 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,551 How do I protect my hand when I fix the toilet? 778 00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:30,552 [whispering] Call a plumber. 779 00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:33,638 How do I season my chicken? 780 00:24:33,638 --> 00:24:34,764 [sighing] Oh, I didn't think that through. 781 00:24:34,764 --> 00:24:39,311 And how do I protect my bump and curl when it rains? 782 00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:41,354 With an umbrella, just like Mary Poppins. 783 00:24:41,354 --> 00:24:42,731 Don't you sass me! 784 00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:43,899 Yes--yes, ma'am. 785 00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:47,235 You know how many things I use them plastic bags for? 786 00:24:47,235 --> 00:24:49,362 Stuff I can't even tell you about. 787 00:24:49,362 --> 00:24:50,614 Okay, come here. Come here. 788 00:24:50,614 --> 00:24:51,948 Come on, sit down. Sit down. 789 00:24:51,948 --> 00:24:53,950 - [sobbing] - Ooh, okay. 790 00:24:53,950 --> 00:24:57,996 And how are my future grandbabies 791 00:24:57,996 --> 00:24:59,956 going to trick or treat? 792 00:24:59,956 --> 00:25:02,417 You have ruined my legacy! 793 00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:05,086 Listen, we can get canvas bags-- 794 00:25:05,086 --> 00:25:07,505 You shut your recycling-ass mouth! 795 00:25:07,505 --> 00:25:08,924 - Okay. - [gasping] 796 00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:12,093 Until you do right by my bags! 797 00:25:12,093 --> 00:25:13,136 [knocking] 798 00:25:13,136 --> 00:25:14,304 Hello, is anybody home? 799 00:25:14,304 --> 00:25:15,472 Help! 800 00:25:15,472 --> 00:25:16,723 - Hey, how you doing? Hi. - Yeah, hi. 801 00:25:16,723 --> 00:25:17,766 - Can I help you? Oh. - Nice house. 802 00:25:17,766 --> 00:25:18,767 - Hello. Hi. Um... - Excuse me. 803 00:25:18,767 --> 00:25:21,311 Hey, I'm Marquita with the Sierra Club. 804 00:25:21,311 --> 00:25:22,812 I have this $50,000 check for you. 805 00:25:22,812 --> 00:25:24,397 [shrieking] Oh, my gosh! 806 00:25:24,397 --> 00:25:26,733 Ciara the singer, she's gonna pay for my wedding! 807 00:25:26,733 --> 00:25:27,859 Not that Ciara. 808 00:25:27,859 --> 00:25:30,111 S-I-E, not C-I-A. 809 00:25:30,111 --> 00:25:31,404 - Give it back. - Who the fuck is that? 810 00:25:31,404 --> 00:25:33,323 Uh... uh, is Christine here? 811 00:25:33,323 --> 00:25:34,324 Christine! 812 00:25:34,324 --> 00:25:36,076 Did you find my bags? 813 00:25:36,076 --> 00:25:37,744 Actually, thanks to your recent donation 814 00:25:37,744 --> 00:25:39,412 of 4,000 plastic bags, 815 00:25:39,412 --> 00:25:41,790 we didn't find them inside of a whale's stomach, 816 00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:45,669 so, uh, we'd like to award you, Christine, 817 00:25:45,669 --> 00:25:48,171 with this $50,000 check. Christine-- 818 00:25:48,171 --> 00:25:51,258 You can keep that $50,000 and stuff it up your ass! 819 00:25:51,258 --> 00:25:52,300 What did you just say? 820 00:25:52,300 --> 00:25:56,513 I'll kill 4,000 whales to get my bags back! 821 00:25:56,513 --> 00:25:59,307 [screaming, gasping] 822 00:25:59,307 --> 00:26:01,476 Oh, my God, lady. Wow! 823 00:26:01,476 --> 00:26:02,686 I don't know what's worse! 824 00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:03,853 Not having my bags 825 00:26:03,853 --> 00:26:05,814 or not having a daughter anymore! 826 00:26:05,814 --> 00:26:07,315 Open the door! 827 00:26:07,315 --> 00:26:08,692 Sorry. Uh--whoa. 828 00:26:08,692 --> 00:26:10,318 Where are you going, Ma? You live here. 829 00:26:10,318 --> 00:26:11,778 [door slams] Mama, no! 830 00:26:11,778 --> 00:26:14,531 [crying] Mama, I need you... 831 00:26:14,531 --> 00:26:16,324 to pay for my wedding! 832 00:26:16,324 --> 00:26:17,492 [dramatic music] 833 00:26:17,492 --> 00:26:18,952 What is the name of the show that I'm on? 834 00:26:18,952 --> 00:26:20,203 - "Euthanasia." - It is--no. 835 00:26:20,203 --> 00:26:21,955 No, that's something totally different. 836 00:26:21,955 --> 00:26:22,998 "Unification." 837 00:26:22,998 --> 00:26:25,375 Okay, HBO has a show called "Euphoria." 838 00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:26,501 - They do? - Yes. 839 00:26:26,501 --> 00:26:28,545 [laughing] And that's the show that I'm on. 840 00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:30,130 Who's that central character on the show? 841 00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:31,172 Zendaya. 842 00:26:31,172 --> 00:26:33,550 Oh, a dark-skinned sister. I love her. 843 00:26:33,550 --> 00:26:34,968 She's not really dark-skinned, actually. 844 00:26:34,968 --> 00:26:36,094 Same color as me. 845 00:26:36,094 --> 00:26:37,846 - Yeah. - Very dark. 846 00:26:37,846 --> 00:26:39,097 It's hard out here for us, Colman. 847 00:26:39,097 --> 00:26:40,515 - [laughing] I can't. - You don't realize 848 00:26:40,515 --> 00:26:42,851 what it's like to be a brown-skinned woman today. 849 00:26:42,851 --> 00:26:44,894 [quirky music] 850 00:26:44,894 --> 00:26:47,480 How do you find inspiration for your characters? 851 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:48,898 How do you find inspiration for yours? 852 00:26:48,898 --> 00:26:50,025 I'm not a character. 853 00:26:50,025 --> 00:26:51,276 - This-- - This? 854 00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:52,652 - Natural. - Really? 855 00:26:52,652 --> 00:26:54,321 - Came out the womb. - Okay. 856 00:26:54,321 --> 00:26:57,032 Blonde as the continent is Black. 857 00:26:57,032 --> 00:26:58,491 Colman Domingo, I'm just saying, 858 00:26:58,491 --> 00:27:02,245 I wrote a one-woman show for Broadway. 859 00:27:02,245 --> 00:27:05,332 It is called "Pre-PhD," based on a novel by Sapphire. 860 00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:06,875 When I was born, the doctor slapped my butt, 861 00:27:06,875 --> 00:27:08,043 and I said, "Hah!" 862 00:27:08,043 --> 00:27:09,419 - I know Oprah. - Oh, wow. 863 00:27:09,419 --> 00:27:10,462 Now you're gonna throw it in my face. 864 00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:11,838 I'm not throwing it in your face--I'm not-- 865 00:27:11,838 --> 00:27:13,965 Throwing it in my face because you know famous people. 866 00:27:13,965 --> 00:27:15,550 - I'm not using-- - What is she like? 867 00:27:15,550 --> 00:27:18,386 "All my life, I had to fight." 868 00:27:18,386 --> 00:27:19,596 Perfect! 869 00:27:19,596 --> 00:27:20,597 - "I have to--" - Great. 870 00:27:20,597 --> 00:27:22,098 - I'm not finished. - That's--oh, I'm sorry. 871 00:27:22,098 --> 00:27:24,184 I thought we were-- I was trying to give you a... 872 00:27:24,184 --> 00:27:26,227 "I had to fight my brothers, 873 00:27:26,227 --> 00:27:27,729 my uncles..." 874 00:27:27,729 --> 00:27:28,730 "Un-cahs"? 875 00:27:28,730 --> 00:27:31,316 [both laughing] 876 00:27:43,453 --> 00:27:45,372 [bright tone] 877 00:27:45,422 --> 00:27:49,972 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 61483

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