Original subtitles

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

- He's had it -- dead as the pharaohs.

- [ Gasps ] Murder?

- Snuffed it. Ha ha ha!

♪♪

♪♪

[ Crash! ]

[ Whistle! Thud! ]

- Oh, blimey. - Cut!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Hmm.

- Mint Imperials from Felix. - Oh! Much appreciated.

- Oh, and the flowers are from production.

Hmm.

[ Clears throat ]

"Hope it's not too stiff. Love the "Oh, Do Behave" gang."

- Oh, well, that's nice. - Hmm.

- Yes, I hope I didn't mess things up too much.

It was very convincing.

- Well, that'll be Felix's doing, I'd imagine.

- Oh, yes? - He's on set right now

as their police advisor.

This one is, "Oh, Do Behave, Constable."

So he's there helping out,

making sure that the law is represented correctly

at all times.

Mm.

- Then the officers would seek to notify the next of kin

before canvassing for witnesses and taking statements.

- Right. We're not doing any of that.

Get that back to wardrobe.

Tell them shorter, lower. Tell them hurry up.

- Well, these are all essential components

- of a murder investigation. - I want to entertain people,

thrill them.

Audiences don't want procedure, Constable Livingston.

- They want titillation. - It is Sergeant Livingston.

And respectfully, I disagree.

Er, Sexton?

Erm, sorry.

I got the amend for today, and just wondering --

do you think my character would fall on to Bonnie Pluck Rose

- like that? - Let me stop you there, Roy.

First of all, it's not your character.

They're all mine.

Sexton St. Juste productions, remember?

Not Roy Perk.

Secondly, you see here on the page?

What does it say?

Does it say he falls onto Bonnie Pluck Rose.

- Yes, but -- - There you go.

Heavens.

I don't know what's worse.

This one telling me how to do my job or you.

What you want, darling? A tip.

Never work with children or animals.

Speaking of which, where is Sally?

Where is Eric? Am I the only one actually working today?

Sir?

Sir, if we could...

if we could finish the convers--

- I bet you get to go to all the fab parties, eh?

Los Angeles, "Cans."

- Cannes, Peggy. Cannes.

But it's not all that exciting.

I get bored with the parties, to be honest.

I wish showbiz had nothing to do with acting.

- Oh. - Oh, I like the craft,

becoming someone.

Take my character.

She's just seen her first dead body, right?

Her first murder victim. What does that feel like?

The first one.

Er...

Fine!

That interfering, old dandy!

- Now, now, Eric, come on. Calm down now.

- Here. - I'm not doing another one

of these poxy films ever again, I promise you.

- Let's just get through it in one piece.

I'm a consummate professional.

- I'm not in there. I'm here.

- Not like that, darling. Get over to wardrobe.

Chop, chop.

- Airing my dirty laundry to the washer.

- Eric -- - The old piece of work, Sexton.

I've got a good mind to knock your block off.

Problem, darling?

Anything the police can help with?

Marvellous.

Everybody over to the set. Places, please.

♪♪

Now look here.

Robust Aubergine was a guest of our parish,

a VIP of international renown.

It falls to the police of Bishop's Rise

to solve his murder.

- He cracked it on our turf, and you know it.

I've got Baggy Bottom's finest working on it right now.

- How many officers? - Plenty.

- Well, can't you give me a rough figure?

- You've got one of those already. Ha ha ha!

And cut.

- Here, can we go on that one again?

I think I could lend that "rough figure" gag a little bit better.

- Doubt it. Besides, no one's watching it for your bon mot.

They'd rather look at hers.

- Oh, for heaven's sake. Really?

- Well, they need something nice to gawk at, don't you think?

If it's just you on the screen,

people are likely to burn it down.

- Why am I dressed like this? - You've gone undercover.

- She's not under much cover from where I'm standing.

- Does this mean I'm -- I'm not doing the fall?

- Of course you're still doing the fall.

That's all you're good for.

- But if she's dressed like that, then --

- She'll end up undressed, yes? - Beg your pardon.

- Oh, Sexton, don't be vulgar. - Yeah. Come on, mate.

I like an eyeful as much as the next bloke,

but this is a no.

- Can't we at least talk about this

without the audience?

Oh, so you're all revolting.

You in both senses of the word.

Fine. Everybody break for lunch.

Cast can stay and talk.

Rest of you, shoo.

♪♪

♪♪

I was just coming to find you.

Fancy a spot of lunch?

- I already ate, and I'm about to head back.

- How is Sister Boniface? - Resting up.

She was very excited about your work here, though.

- Really? - Oh, yes.

Looking forward to your influence on the finished film.

Boys in blue at their best.

What's wrong?

- I think I should have another word with the director.

- Okay. - I'll see you later, yeah?

[ Engine turns over ]

♪♪

Mr. St. Juste?

Look, I think we should have a proper talk

as to my responsibilities here

and just how you plan to depict the police.

Sir, we are not fools.

We are officers of keen intelligence,

diligent and smart and observant.

[ Camera whirring ]

♪♪

- Murder?! - It looks that way.

- Well, then there's no time to waste.

[ Door creaks open ]

- No, no, no, no. You stay where you are.

You are interfering with the recovery process.

Strictly no visitors.

- But -- But it's police business.

- Oh, well, then perhaps the police would like

to handle it themselves for a change.

- But we --

She...

Of course, Reverend Mother.

Apologies.

Er, wishing you a speedy recovery, Sister.

- It's nettle soup. Lukewarm nettle soup.

Sorry. The walk from the kitchen took longer than expected.

Oh! Oh! Ooh!

- Oh, my goodness. Oh, dear.

- Oh, no, no, no! No, no, no, no!

Please! Please! Sister, stop touching it.

Oh! Erm...erm, maybe, erm --

Maybe you could do me a small favour instead.

♪♪

♪♪

No luck with Sister Boniface.

She's under lock and key, more or less.

- Here. Strangulation, I would say.

But there's no sign of a weapon.

This was still running when I found him.

- Okay, well, let's get that developed

as quickly as possible.

Knock, knock.

[ Chuckles ]

Ah!

Sister Boniface's idea, I take it.

- She's briefed us, told us everything we need to know.

It'll be as though she was here herself.

That the victim?

I can see we're in safe hands.

- Alright, better make a start on our crime scene.

- Actually, there are two crime scenes.

Two?

- Yeah, there's been a development.

[ Film winds, camera shutter clicks ]

I can tell you something.

No professional burglar did this.

You always start bottom drawer up. Saves time.

- So I've heard. - Right.

Reg, we need fingerprints, fibres, forensics.

Divorce papers.

He had a wife?

But he was so obviously...

entitled to respect and dignity.

Hmm.

Look at who he's married to.

Interesting.

♪♪

Dead?

Are you quite sure?

Yes.

And we suspect foul play.

Well, that would explain it.

We found a divorce petition in his dressing room.

Forgive me for saying,

but you didn't seem like a married couple.

- It was a marriage of convenience.

Well, for him, at least.

He was keeping up appearances.

And what changed?

My appearances.

With the divorce not settled,

you'd enjoy a payout in the event of his death.

- Oh! A benefit to our marriage. Finally.

- You don't seem very upset. - [ Scoffs ]

You saw what he was like, didn't you?

- He could be a little bit... abrasive at times.

- Let's not mince words, Sergeant.

The man was a monster.

Heavens. Only this afternoon, he had poor Sally in tears.

Miss Chagford?

- He took her aside for a quiet word,

and given how unabashed he was at insulting us all publicly,

one can only imagine the things he would say in private.

And he was the same with you?

- He was the same with all of us.

I'm sorry, gentlemen. You have my sympathies.

Well, good luck with finding someone

who didn't want him dead.

- Miss Loveday tells us you had an emotional discussion

with Mr. St. Juste earlier.

Would you mind telling us what he said?

- He rewrote the scene so when Roy fell on me,

me dress was supposed to fall off.

And when I said I didn't want to do it,

and insulted my acting ability,

told me there's only two reasons people cast me in anything.

And what are they?

- Told him I'm an actor, not a doll.

I've had people take a serious interest in my work.

- You don't honestly think these playwrights

and theatrical agents are meeting you

for any other reason?

Oh, darling.

Oh, bless.

Look, it's obvious where your talents lie.

Be a good sport and do this,

and I won't have to cast around for another pretty pair.

You are such a pig!

- So as far as Sexton is concerned,

it's strip off or be replaced.

- I'd already run off before he could get that far,

but probably.

- Who was left at rehearsal after you'd gone?

Genevieve, Eric, and Roy.

We were the only ones in the scene,

but what any of them did after I'd gone,

I have no idea.

Well, thank you.

♪♪

♪♪

Right.

Reverend Mother has gone for her pre-supper ablutions.

- We've got 30 minutes, tops. - All right.

[ Clears throat ]

- Little early, Sister. - It ain't for me.

It got delivered to the dead bloke's trailer.

- Thought it might be a clue. - Huh.

Sure.

- "Thanks for the tip, William Asher."

Crime scene photos.

- Fresh from the darkroom. - Yes, marvellous.

Leave them down here, please.

[ Clears throat ]

- I left the lens cap on for the first few.

Sorry. Still learning.

- No, but, erm, look -- the, erm -- the contrast

on this one of the neck -- very good.

Excellent composition, Sister Peter.

I only mean that the detail might help give a better idea

of the murder weapon.

See, erm, the indentation

of a floral design there in the centre?

A necklace?

- Well, at first glance, I'd say the ligatures are too wide,

but...

- They look like straps, but they curl up like so,

and it's the same on both sides.

- Oh, dear. Oh, I say.

- Steady on. [ Laughs ]

- [ Clears throat ] Felix.

- Oh, no, I-I-I wasn't -- I didn't mean to -- oh.

- Don't get your knickers in a twist.

We've all seen them before.

No, no, no, no! Sister!

♪♪

♪♪

[ Grunts ]

Well done, Sister.

Thank goodness

the Reverend Mother didn't catch us.

- Right. But it's safe to say

we know what our missing murder weapon was --

death by brassiere.

- I always said those things were murder.

Are we still doing this?

Well, in a manner of speaking.

I've got Eric's joke.

Well, it's your joke now.

It'll be funnier coming from you.

- And you think having a nicer person behind the camera

- is enough to save the show? - Well, it's worth a shot.

I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

- Another one of us ends up dead?

- Just do as he asks, and we're all out of contract.

None of us has to do another one of these ever again.

- Right, well, let's get on with it, shall we?

Er, places, please.

[ Camera whirring ] [ Sneezes ]

Ugh! Oh! Ah!

Ugh! Ugh!

Ah! Ugh!

- I have told you before about teasing my Pterois radiata!

- Oh! - Special Constable Feely!

- [ Groans ] - Hello, hello, hello.

- What's all this? - Another bust

for the Bishop's Rise Police? [ Laughs ]

Inspector Jugs!

Er, not yet, I haven't.

Ha ha ha ha!

- And cut there! That was great!

Sally, perfect. Eric, you were gold.

Really? You think?

- Alright, let's take a tight half an hour,

and then I want that same energy when we come back.

[ Laughter ]

[ Sighs ]

I've looked all over for you.

Well, that was foolish.

I haven't been all over. I've been here, waiting for me lunch.

- Lunch? We've barely started.

- We've done our bit -- collected evidence,

worked out what the weapon was.

- They'll do the rest. - We've still got to find the --

Two big baps.

- I asked for a sausage roll. - Oh, are you sure?

Sorry.

Look here...

finding the murder weapon is legwork for the coppers.

- Finding the murder weapon is a moral obligation,

and it might be fun.

Hard work, more like.

I don't know how she does it, rummaging around in drawers

and dustbins and all that snooping and science.

I get tired just thinking about it.

- If you ask me, Sister Boniface is doing

what any good sister would do with her talents --

helping people.

- Good sister? What am I then?

Flaky tart?

- I beg your pardon? - Your flaky tart.

I said sausage roll.

What did you even write down?

I wrote down "nun."

- Why didn't you write down my order?

- Because then I wouldn't know who to give it to.

Give me strength.

Right. Let's go and look for these bras then

before I lose my marbles.

Come on.

Sausage roll!

- Oh, sorry. She's gone.

- She's gone? I thought she said "sausage roll."

[ Sighs ]

Peggy's gone to wardrobe.

She'll take what she finds to the lab.

You and I should probably deal with the suspects in person.

- Wait. To ask them for their --

- It's police work, Felix. Evidence.

Have they started filming again?

Okay, I'm gonna go and find out what's happening.

You start with, erm, Sally's bra.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

- Have you resumed filming? - [ Clears throat ]

No flies on you, chap.

But your director is dead.

Roy's taken over.

Didn't waste any time getting it back, did he?

- Getting it back? - Yeah.

It was him that wrote the first one -- the play.

Whole idea was his basically.

♪♪

[ Knocking on door ]

Ah, oh, well, it's, erm, not a great time for this, Inspector.

I've -- I've got a lot of work on.

- Yeah. I was surprised to see production back so quickly.

- Well, we're -- we're under contract,

and we've only got the location for so long.

You know, there's a lot of time-sensitive pressures,

- financial obligations. - It is a crime scene.

- Yes, and we're working around it.

Believe me. Erm, is that all you wanted to ask me?

- We've been, er, on the lookout for an item of clothing

that may be connected to the death of Mr. St. Juste.

An undergarment, to be precise.

Oh.

That. Ah.

Er, well, yes.

Well, funny thing is, erm, groupies.

Er, tenacious, they are.

It's mine, Inspector.

Miss Loveday.

- Groupies, darling? Really?

Well, I tried my best.

Did Sexton know about this?

Nobody does.

- We were hoping to keep it that way.

- But with your husband out of the way,

that's a lot less to worry about.

♪♪

That's the last of them.

There's dozens with that rose design on the front.

Nothing.

I'm not sure any of this is working.

What's supposed to happen?

- The evidence sits under a sheet of blotting paper,

which has been sprayed with starch attached to a blue dye.

It will then react with any amylase on the fabric.

We put the glass plate on top.

Press it down with our rear.

- Oh! Oh, it's changing colour.

Is it?

It must be covered in it,

Covered in what?

Saliva.

Eric Cockburn?

How does a bloke's bra get covered in spit?

Ooh.

My underwear?

- Yes, please. - Right, of course.

Cos that's what I'm here for, isn't it?

- Sally Strip-off. - No, no, this --

this is important police work.

- An abuse of power. That's what it is.

You know, I thought you were one of the nice ones.

[ Sighs ]

C-- erm, erm, er...

Can I j-- Can I just have the t-- the top part, please?

The -- The brassiere? Not the --

Not -- Not the bottom part.

Everything all right?

Fine, yeah.

Pig!

- Perhaps you could just gather them all together

and bring them out when you're decent.

- I'm not sure you need to do that now.

Hello.

We think we found it.

Do we know who it belongs to?

Yeah, it's...

♪♪

Here.

Round the back.

♪♪

♪♪

Hey!

- Get out of here. [ Engine turns over ]

♪♪

♪♪

Stop that van!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

- Oh, blimey. What's going on?

I was only trying to get to the pub,

and these two penguins come out of nowhere.

- See you got your hands full again, Sergeant.

[ Both laugh ]

♪♪

I ain't done nothing wrong.

- You tried to escape. - Yeah.

- You knew we were looking for brassieres

because you'd overheard me say as much.

But you knew why we were looking for them.

I didn't kill nobody.

I leave that stuff lying about anywhere.

The crew pick it up. Anyone could have borrowed it.

You auditioned for the Maigret film.

Am I right?

My colleague overheard you complaining

about Sexton spilling your dirty laundry to the washer.

Now, my guess is that the washer is a nickname for William Asher,

the Maigret film producer.

What did he tip him off to? Hmm?

I noticed your hip flask earlier.

I drink, yes.

But I don't flub my lines,

I don't miss my marks, and I don't cock up.

But Sexton -- he spreads it about

that I'm hard to work with.

He tells the Maigret lot that I'm a liability.

So they withdrew their offer.

That's made you angry.

Bloody furious!

- A forensics examination of this bra

showed it was covered in saliva.

Must have taken a fair bit of anger

to shove that whole thing in his mouth.

- Not when your mouth's as big as his.

[ Camera whirring ]

- You're a heel. You know that?

A big bucket of manure.

- Oh, darling, I've spared you the embarrassment.

It was a favour.

- Anything to keep me here, your pet buffoon.

- It is the part you were born to play.

♪♪

[ Gagging ]

[ Coughing ]

- He weren't dead when I left him.

If he suffocated, I'd...

[ Chuckles ]

...it was an accident.

I weren't trying to do him no harm.

You believe me, don't you?

♪♪

- You let him go? - I didn't charge him.

There's a difference.

We know that our victim was strangled.

This whole suffocating with a bra

and leaving it behind -- it doesn't add up.

- That's if he's telling the truth.

- He's an actor, after all. - Look, I want to see

what's on this film before we go barking up the wrong tree.

- Can we stop gabbing and get on with it?

The Rev's with the plumber, but there's only so many rocks

I can stuff down the sink.

That was you?

- We need her distracted. - Well, the next time

you distract her, try to do it on the other side

of the building from the infirmary.

No gratitude.

[ Projector whirring ]

- S-S-Sister?

Okay. Here we go.

♪♪

♪♪

What's happened there?

Ah! You have to be joking.

We have a camera running at a murder scene,

and it has captured absolutely nothing.

It might still be worth

letting Sister Boniface have a butcher's.

Perhaps we've missed something.

It's a wall.

Fine. It can't hurt.

Sister...

why are these reels so large?

It's the format.

35 mil.

- And are there smaller formats in film?

There's 16 millimetre, 8 millimetre.

That's more for cameras people have at home, though.

He was asking me.

- And one of those films -- how big would a canister be?

Say about this size?

Yes, almost exactly.

Felix?

- Before he went into Genevieve's trailer,

Sexton took a delivery of a small canister.

I thought it was part of the film production.

But it could be personal.

- The sort of thing you might search his trailer for.

[ Chuckles ]

It's mainly just the wall.

There's a shadow at the start, but it's not much to go on.

- Hmm. Well, I'm sure fresh eyes can't hurt.

And it makes a change from nettle soup.

- As long as you don't find out that I made a mistake

letting Eric Cockburn go.

- I trust your instincts on that one, Sam.

If he really thought he killed Mr. St. Juste by suffocating him,

- then he's not our strangler. - Hmm.

Well, hopefully, Felix's hunch on the home video pays off.

We need something to go on, so...

[ Indistinct conversation ]

♪♪

- I thought I heard voices. Hmm?

Oh, erm...

Well, that must have been a-a workman.

Been a few about, so...

- Roofers, yes. - Hmm.

- I'll be overseeing their work on the East Wing.

It would seem that some of the tiles

have magically gone missing.

Oh, how...peculiar.

Yes, very.

Oh. Erm...

I'm sorry, er...

[ Exhales deeply ]

- Yes. Thank you. - Thank you.

♪♪

Perhaps if you told me what you were looking for, I could help.

- Perhaps if you waited outside, I could work a little faster.

♪♪

♪♪

"Wedding?"

Well, he was never that sentimental.

Said my dress looked like a tart's handkerchief.

Well, you can't need it, surely.

- I'm afraid that this is evidence,

so, yes, I will have to take it.

[ Snoring ]

- Mm, you're looking none too healthy.

- This one's awake, Dr. Thrustgood.

Thank you, Nurse Blush.

Dr. Wedbetter, with me!

[ Clears throat ]

- Excuse me, doctors. - Ooh! Ooh!

Found a cure yet?

- Sorry, I'm a little out of habit.

So is she.

But just her leg.

[ Laughter ]

- Excuse me, but what does that thing on your head actually do?

- This? [ Sighs ]

This lets me know where I am.

Where's that been?

In the spotlight.

[ Chuckles ]

Mm!

Of course!

♪♪

♪♪

Bingo!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

- Just hope this one's a bit more revealing than the last.

[ Projector whirring ]

♪♪

- No turning back. Move it.

Sister Reginald!

[ Bells tolling ]

You'll put your back out stacking them that high.

- Ah, I could do twice this at Billingsgate.

- And how many years ago was that?

- Still in my prime. Never you worry.

- Who needs all that wine anyways?

- The film people. - Yeah.

You know what they showbiz types are like.

[ Birds chirping ]

♪♪

- Not to be a nuisance, but you're hurting my bad leg.

Oh! Ah!

Ooh.

[ Projector whirring ]

- [ Exhales sharply ] - Well...

you did say you wanted revealing.

Hmm.

- I think you'll need to explain this one to, er...

Sister Boniface.

- Yes. - Yeah.

Mm. Hmm.

Yes.

Yes, I think that light was a bit more to the left.

- Maybe two-thirds of an inch. - Mm-hmm.

And, erm...

yes, the director's chair needs tilting

about seven degrees south-southwest.

- How about I just turn it and you say when?

When, when, when.

Ah, back on your feet.

- More or less, yes. I've had a flash of inspiration.

- Right. Well, erm, speaking of flashes,

Felix found the missing home movie.

- Oh, good. Yes. Does it show us much?

- Erm... [ Clears throat ]

You could say that.

When I say "home movie," I mean more bedroom movie.

Oh.

- Oh. - Hmm.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

- Apologies, but we would like you all to join us on set.

- Well, whatever for? We were about to rehearse.

- I imagine some of you would like to be cleared of murder.

♪♪

- Thanks to the camera that was left running

and witness testimonies, we're able

to reenact the last moments of Sexton St. Juste,

which we'll perform for you now.

[ Clears throat ]

Er, lights, camera, action.

Erm, anyway, erm, as per the footage,

a figure comes from behind the camera

and casts a shadow over Sexton,

here, played by Sergeant Livingston.

Is this entirely necessary?

- Well, a killer could just step forward

and admit what they've done.

- You don't honestly think it was one of us?

- Keep watching. You'll find out.

- Erm, this person then takes their bra off like so

and accidentally knocks the camera.

Obviously, Sally and Genevieve here

couldn't pull off a brassiere like that

without [clears throat] exposing themselves.

Now, hold on.

I already explained what happened here to the copper.

- It was an accident. - No, it was murder.

Sexton was strangled, and there's no mistaking that.

Hang about. Strangled?

But I stuffed it in his gob.

Sally, you may go.

- [ Sighs ] - Now, hold your horses.

I did not do no strangling of no one.

- You're right. You didn't.

- Sally did. - What?

- I had to put you in front of the spotlight to be sure.

Your dress gave it away.

You weren't caught on camera, but the reflections were.

- Moments after Eric left the still-breathing Sexton,

you came in and killed him.

- What? - That's a stretch.

Why would I? What for?

For this.

- You haven't watched it, have you?

♪♪

He told me he'd show it to the papers.

I was going to the West End after this

to do some proper acting.

I'd be a joke,

a tart the rest of my life if that came out.

You are such a pig!

- Listen, love, if you won't do this,

I'll have to drum up publicity some other way.

Perhaps the press might like to see one of your earlier films.

It's a bit blue, mind you, and shows a lot more

than I'm asking for.

Took some work tracking it down.

Not my cup of tea, of course, but I'm still very glad

to have it.

I hate you!

♪♪

- I thought if I got the film, I'd be okay.

Turned his trailer over, but it weren't there.

[ Breathing heavily ]

- I was in a panic when I couldn't find it.

I have to make him tell me.

[ Gagging ]

[ Coughing ]

Where is it?!

- The swine wouldn't say, just kept grinning.

He was enjoying how upset I was.

♪♪

♪♪

It was a stupid blue film I made years ago when I was a dancer.

I didn't want people thinking I was a tart

and not a serious actress.

He was gonna ruin my chances.

But I've done that myself, haven't I?

Sally Chagford...

I'm arresting you for the murder of Sexton St. Juste.

- [ Sobbing ] - You are not obliged

to say anything unless you wish to do so,

but anything you do say may be put into writing

and given in evidence. I am sorry.

[ Sighs ]

♪♪

♪♪

- Their first tip-off was the snuff box.

Why would celebrated anthrophile Robust Aubergine

reach for his tobacco

when admiring [sniffs] the fragrance of pink bloomers?

- Perhaps it was the stench of your pathetic village.

- Later, when I examined the fingerprint powder,

I discovered that it was laced with fine black pepper,

which triggered a sneezing fit.

- Yeah, that's had me sneezing and all.

Oh, you buffoon.

- Aubergine reaches for his medicinal snuff,

only to inhale a fatal dose of lionfish venom --

venom from someone's pet Pterois radiata.

- You've got one of those, too. - Oh, shut up!

- Robust Aubergine was not in Bishop's Rise

for the fattest plums competition.

He was on the trail of Fanny DuBonc,

the poisoner of Provence.

- That looks just like you, ma'am.

- [French accent] Oh, mon dieu!

I should have killed you, too, you...

Whoa!

And cut! That's a wrap.

- [ Laughter ] - I have to say,

despite everything, that was the best one yet.

- "Yet"? I thought you weren't doing

another one of these poxy films ever again.

- Well, with him, they're not poxy.

They're fun. All of the sauce and none of the sleaze.

- Well, it won't be the same without Sally.

- Well, if we make any money on the next one,

we could all chip in --

you know, for legal expenses and things.

Well, I'm game if you are.

- Well, I did have an idea for one set in a convent.

- I've always wanted to wear a wimple.

- Well [clears throat] you do have some bad habits.

Oh, do behave.

[ Laughter ]

[ Applause ]

♪♪

[ Grunts ]

It's like you were never gone.

Thank you.

Now, you must hurry along or you'll miss your wrap party.

- And the extra he's been talking to.

- She prefers the term "background artiste."

- Yeah. - [ Chuckles ]

- Oh! - Ooh!

No!

Ah! You're awake.

Perfect. Hmm.

You know, I thought I was going to have to spend

another afternoon overseeing repairs on the outer wall.

But then I happened to come across a huge pile of masonry

just outside Sister Reginald's cell.

- How strange. - Strange, yes,

I thought so myself.

And she kindly volunteered to do the work herself,

which left me free to plan my evening properly.

[ Chuckles ] You know, the funny thing is --

[chuckling] the funny -- I half expected you

to do something childish, like stuff your bed with pillows

and -- and -- and climb out the window.

- Oh! Well, that would have been mischievous.

- Yes, it would, especially for the policemen.

Because if I thought that they were

sneaking into private quarters again,

I would have to report their perversions

to the chief constable.

Anyways, what with your leg

preventing you from attending vespers,

I thought we should do something to accommodate you

and bring it here to you instead.

- Oh, no! You don't have to do that on my account.

♪♪

Ah!

♪ Oh, God ♪

♪ Come to our aid ♪

- ♪ Oh, Lord ♪ - Right then.

- ♪ Make haste ♪ [ Both arguing indistinctly ]

♪ To help us ♪

♪ Oh, God ♪

♪ Come to our aid ♪

Glory be to the Father and the Son,

and the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Amen.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪