Original subtitles

Tacy! Tacy, open the door!

Tacy! It's me, Nicky! Are you here?

Tacy!

Tacy!

Tacy! Tac--

Are you the manager?

- Why, no. The manager-- - Where is he? Do you know?

Well, that's hard to say.

It seems a little girl in one of the trailers lost her cat.

He's out trying to find it.

Is there anything I can do?

No, I'm just looking for some other people.

Well, you'd better wait inside. You won't miss anyone.

They've all got to pass right here.

It's real rainy, isn't it?

Yeah.

Like this to read?

I get a great kick out of these trailer magazines.

Don't let me disturb you.

Oh, that's all right.

You a trailerite?

Yeah.

Looks like I'm gonna be one, too.

I had a time persuading my wife.

She was dead set against it.

Says it's too late in life

for us to start being gypsies.

But we've been looking at one tonight.

A young lady wants to sell.

And I think it's done the trick.

The two of them are back at the house now

measuring will the deep freeze fit in.

You know, my wife won't move without that deep freeze.

Say, what kind of a motor is the New Moon?

Would you know?

Rig. You want to sound like an old-timer, you call it a rig.

- Rig? - The New Moon is fine.

Well, this one's practically new.

The young lady said it's only gone some 7,000 miles.

Is that so?

She feels terrible about selling it,

but her plans changed.

She has to go back to her family.

You been married long?

31 years.

You get along all right?

No fights? No battles?

Why, no.

Then don't buy a trailer.

I'm telling you, don't buy a trailer.

That young lady with the trailer,

that's my wife. My wife!

I've been looking for her for three days.

I've been to the police, I've been to the highway patrol.

I must have gone to 100 trailer parks.

Everything I own is in that trailer.

I haven't got a clean shirt.

I haven't got a change of clothes!

That's what can happen when you buy a trailer.

I'm telling you, it's a fine thing

when you come home to your home, and your home is gone.

If you had told me two months ago

that I'd be poor enough to buy a trailer,

I would have told you you were crazy --

absolutely out of your mind.

That you were a joke to me.

A great big joke!

Ha ha ha!

A trailer! Ha ha!

Oh, Tacy. Oh, that's very funny, honey.

Ha ha ha!

The Collinis at home.

Please drop in for cocktails.

You'll find us someplace along the Lincoln Highway.

Or better yet, stay where you are.

We'll bring our house to you.

Ha ha!

Hey, you know, you could get a tambourine,

and I'll get a dancing bear, and we could clean up.

Honey, you're crying.

Did I say something wrong?

Did I say something to offend you?

No. I don't blame you for laughing.

It's a ridiculous idea.

But then I guess I'm pretty ridiculous myself.

Thank heaven you found it out

before you made the horrible mistake of marrying me.

Oh, honey, what on earth are you talking about?

I'm just a figure of fun, a clown.

Oh, now, sweetheart, let's get this thing

straightened out right now.

Now, look at me, please.

I wouldn't make fun of you, ever.

I'm the fellow who loves you, remember?

What is this about a trailer?

You mean you were seriously thinking of --

All I was thinking of was making a home for my husband --

a little place we could call our own

where I could take care of him,

cook for him, and make him comfortable.

If that's a horrible offense,

if that makes me a criminal,

then I'm terribly sorry.

I apologize. I withdraw the whole idea.

Honey, can we talk this over calmly?

We'll have a home, darling.

What kind of a home when your work takes you all those places?

Colorado, Montana, Idaho --

All right, we won't go to Colorado.

I'll get another job.

Oh, no. I didn't mean that.

This is a wonderful chance for you.

Anyway, it'll always be something like that.

If it isn't a tunnel in Colorado,

it'll be a bridge in Alaska

or a dam across the Pacific.

- I didn't know that you felt -- - Something else somewhere.

We'll always be living out of suitcases

and using other people's things,

living in some stale little hotel

or some grubby furnished room.

But don't you see? If we had a trailer,

no matter where we went,

I could make a home for you.

And when the job was over,

we could just hitch up our house and go on to the next.

No. Now, look, honey, let's get down to facts.

First of all, the kind of a trailer

that you're thinking about probably costs a fortune.

Now, you know what our budget is for the first year.

Travel, honeymoon, here it is -- rent.

I know. $1,700. All right.

Now, for only $100 more,

do you know what we could have?

Have you any conception?

We could have this beautiful home.

Only $1,800, and that's complete, mind you.

Everything is included -- all this furniture --

Chairs, sofa, bed, stove,

refrigerator, shower bath, everything.

Absolutely everything,

right down to coat hangers in the closet.

You don't have to buy a thing.

Did you ever see anything as beautiful?

Well, it's kind of roomy at that.

Wonderful closet space.

Where?

That's the living room.

Oh. Well, it's convenient.

Everything is right there within easy --

You know, Nicky,

what I was thinking about most of all was our honeymoon.

Can't you just imagine what it would be like?

You know, some of the most beautiful country in the world

is between here and Colorado.

The whole trip would be just like a dream.

We'd go where we pleased when we pleased.

If we saw a beautiful spot beside a brook

or a mountain lake, a lovely wood,

we'd stop there and be all alone.

It'd all be for us.

The moonlight and the sunsets

and the sound of the tree toads far off...

The night the trailer show opened,

there was no holding Tacy.

Pardon me, but could you tell me where the Bungalette trailer is?

Bungalette?

Um... oh, this is it right here.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

It's all right.

You know, we could put some built-in gun racks right here.

Oh, excuse me, chum. I thought my cap might...

Excuse me, I...

Pardon me. I want to get my cap over here, lady, please.

Excuse me. I'm so sorry.

It's all right.

Pardon me, please. Pardon me.

But, you know, it's pretty compact.

Oh, I'm so disappointed I could cry.

It looked enormous in the ad.

It was such a wonderful idea.

Well, don't worry, sweetheart.

We'll have a home.

We'll just have to wait a while, that's all.

And then we saw... it.

Isn't it a beauty?

Yeah, it's big, all right.

Let's look inside, just for fun.

Now, Tacy, that thing must cost $1 million, at least.

Oh, I didn't mean we'd ever think of buying it.

I know we could never do that.

But as long as we're here, let's just look inside.

Come on, darling.

Oh!

What happened, darling?

Nothing, I just cracked my skull, that's all.

Isn't it lovely?

So new and fresh and pretty.

Oh, look, glass in the oven

so you don't have to open it to look in.

Come on, honey, let's look back here.

Come on.

Do you see this wonderful shower, honey?

Could I, uh, show you some of the features of our trailer?

No, no, no, we're just looking. Thank you.

Thank you just the same.

Did you see the linen closet?

- Yes, honey-- - Oh!

Oh, Nicky. Honey, be careful.

What's that step doing there?

That's a sunken living room.

It's just like a lovely little house.

Oh, Nicky, isn't it wonderful?

You couldn't ask for anything more than this, could you?

No.

I'm gonna ask the salesman how much it is.

- Now, Tacy -- - Just for fun.

Oh, pardon me. Heh.

Uh, I know we couldn't possibly afford it,

but could you tell me the price of this trailer, please?

Yes. It's $5,345.

Oh. I was afraid of something like that.

Of course, you wouldn't have to pay that all at once.

All you'd have to do is put down a third.

Thank you very much.

That's $1,750, isn't it?

- Approximately, yes. - Thank you.

Did you hear that, Nicky? $1,750.

That's $50 less than the one we can't even stand up in.

It couldn't possibly be $1,750.

That must be what you give him for the down payment.

That's what I say.

$1,750. Oh, let's get it, Nicky, please.

- What? - I'll save, I-I promise.

I-I won't spend a cent

on anything again as long as I live.

Only I just want to have this for our home.

Honey, we could do it, couldn't we?

We wouldn't have to pay any rent.

I'll cook all of our meals. Honest, I will.

We won't have to go to any restaurants or hotels.

Honey, there won't be any bellboys to bother us, no tips.

Well, just think of the money that we could save

on our honeymoon alone.

10 minutes later, I started saving it.

And $160 for state tax,

and $73 for registration, license fee,

and payment on the insurance.

That makes a grand total of $1,932.22.

And 22 cents?

That's right.

Ever, uh, hauled a house trailer before?

- No, we've never -- - Oh, well, if I were you,

I'd have a professional haul it for you to Colorado.

Oh, no. That's gonna be half the fun.

Oh?

You're gonna haul it yourself, huh?

Uh, maybe I'd better take a look at your car.

My car?

Better get a heavier car.

Be a big saving in the end.

Let's see.

We'll allow you $400 for your old car.

And that plus $900 cash

makes $1,300 as down payment.

Okay?

Look, are you sure that this car is heavy enough

to pull a trailer?

Absolutely.

Of course, you're going to have to have a hitch

welded to the bottom of your car.

A hitch, huh? How much would that cost?

Oh, we don't do that here.

You'll have to go to an expert.

I see. Where am I gonna find an expert?

The Excelsior Trailer Repair.

They're the best people in town.

We now had a new car, a new trailer,

and mortgages of $7,646.

We don't just weld the hitch to your car here,

we bolt it on in three places --

the forward member, the rear member, under your bumper.

Hey, Joe, here -- here it is. Bring it over here.

You're getting the best hitch on the market today.

This is the ball.

It engages securely through the socket in the slip dolly,

which prevents a lot of --

Just a minute. Slip dolly?

Oh, sure, sure. Come here.

Now, this is the B6 4-wheel model.

It's $170 extra plus tax, but it's worth it.

It takes the weight of the trailer off --

Wait a minute, do I have to have one of these things?

Right, why, you can't afford to be without that.

It was a question of who'd give out first --

me or the money.

Block and tackle, just in case.

In case of what?

Just in case.

Ah, that'll be fine, now.

The little lady said she wanted the car

dropped off at her house.

Yeah, that's right.

Oh, no. You drive.

- Who, me? - Sure. Sure. Move over.

Nothing to it.

Now, these are your trailer brakes.

The most important thing to remember is

when you're gonna stop, you put your trailer brakes on first,

or you'll jackknife.

Jackknife?

Yeah. You know, trailer and car like this.

Saw it happen on a hill over here.

The trailer tipped over, took the car

right down the canyon after it.

So remember, trailer brakes first. Trailer brakes first.

These are your trailer blinker lights --

when you're gonna turn left and when you're gonna turn right.

There's your trailer stop light.

Now, put your blinker lights on.

Left. Right. Trailer brakes. Car brakes.

Lights. Left. Right. Trailer brakes. Car brakes.

Okay, let's go. Ignition. Start it.

Take your brake off, put it in low, go, boy.

We were moving.

I couldn't be sure whether I was pulling it

or it was pushing me.

You'll get the hang of it. Just remember to allow for

that extra length behind you when you turn.

Always think of it as a train behind you.

40 feet of train.

Those trailer brakes are your best friend.

You take care of them, and they'll take care of you.

They're electric brakes,

actuated by a magnet which is connected to the brake pad.

This magnet is always in contact with the armature.

The armature is in contact with the brake drum

and revolves with the wheel.

Red light. Red light! Trailer brake!

Look, just keep repeating to yourself,

"Trailer brakes first, trailer brakes first."

- Make it your motto. - Trailer brakes first.

Okay, green light. Go, boy.

Don't get nervous. You'll get the hang of it.

Get into the left-hand lane.

Ease her over a little more.

Put out your arm.

No, not your head, your arm!

Look out for the truck!

Trailer brake!

Always remember -- Trailer brakes first!

Trailer brakes first!

A few days before the wedding,

the trailer was getting packed under Tacy's calm supervision.

I was still in a state of shock.

I couldn't get those trailer brakes out of my mind.

Oh, Nicky, you poor lad. Ha ha ha!

You're not going to be able to get those things in there, dear.

You're just gonna have to strip down to the bare essentials.

What do we do with these, Tacy?

Uh, put them in the blanket closet in there.

- Well, here I am. - Oh, hi, darling.

Well, honey, put them under the bed or something.

We're gonna need a trailer for the trailer.

Tacy, what shall I do with these towels marked "his"?

Put them over here with the ones marked "hers."

- Tacy! - What?

That thing can't ride there. That's dangerous.

Now, just relax, dear.

I had Mr. Jackson make a little wedge,

- and it's perfectly in place. - Tacy, what about these boxes?

They've got to make sure that there's nothing in there.

Excuse me, dear.

Excuse me. It's absolute chaos.

Excuse me.

Tacy! Tacy! Come here quick!

What's the matter?

Ha ha ha! This is a madhouse!

Trailer brakes! Red light! Green light!

Trailer brakes! Red light! Aah!

What happened?

Oh, honey, what did you do?

I had everything arranged.

Look, do we have to have all of this stuff?

Of course, dear.

Wouldn't one casserole be enough?

One casserole?

For souffles, for sauces, for pot roast?

- Really, dear. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I need everything that I have here.

You know, you just can't set up housekeeping

- and expect to rough it. - Forget that I said anything.

I don't want to argue today.

I'm a little nervous.

Nicky, are you still holding those, dear?

Put them in the bedroom closet.

No, honey, you go to the closet in the hall.

I saved it just for you. Right in there.

Every one of them, and I want to make sure that...

- In the bedroom? - All of that linen.

Geraldine, which closet did Tacy tell me to take?

Tacy, which closet did you have saved for Nicky?

Tacy, I can't find the other set of linens.

On top of that big silver box.

Honey, I told you the hall closet.

Well, the hall closet is full of your "thins."

Oh, oh, oh. Well, put your "thins" there temporarily.

Come on, Sarah, we've got to shift this whole thing around.

We've got to change everything.

- Excuse me. - Look out!

Trailer brakes! Red light! Green light!

Trailer brakes! Red light! Aah!

Tacy, I know what the trouble is.

They sent two sets of towels!

Two sets of linen, two sets of towels...

Excuse me, please.

Two sets of everything! Ha ha ha!

And then, for a while, I forgot all about the trailer.

Oh, the supper went every which way, and I was coming in!

Ha ha! Oh, I...

- Yes. - She looks so handsome.

I know what you mean, sis.

Goodbye!

Let's get out of here.

What's the matter?

There's something wrong with the --

Goodbye!

For heaven's sake, Nicky, come on.

I'm trying to come on. This keeps dying off.

Goodbye!

Can't we go any faster?

I guess we can, but I'm afraid to.

- Why? - It scares me.

It scares you? Why?

I don't know why. It just scares me, that's all.

Ha ha! May all your troubles be little ones!

- Who was that? - How should I know?

Ha ha ha!

What's the matter with everybody?

What are they yelling at?

I don't know.

Oh, they must have put a sign on the back.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Well, then, stop. Stop and take it off.

You can't stop one of these things on the highway.

Well, can't you pull over?

There is no place to pull.

Oh, I can't stand it, Nicky. Please stop.

Look, you talk as if this was a car.

This is a freight train.

40 feet of train.

There's a place to stop!

I can't stop on a curve.

- Watch out for the red light. - I know, I know.

Well, watch out! You're going right straight through it!

- Well, I can't help -- - Stop! What's the matter?

It won't stop! I don't know what's the matter!

- Honey, Watch out. - I'll try to brake!

Everybody's looking at us.

Oh, no! Watch it!

- What's the matter? - I don't know.

Thank you so very much.

Tacy, will you get the map

out of the glove compartment, please?

Yep.

I've got to turn here somewhere if I remember right.

We've got to get on Highway 101.

Find the right map?

Yeah, I got it.

Oh, they print these things all upside-down.

Can you see it?

Yeah, here it is.

Well, be sure to tell me when we get there, will you?

Turn right here!

No, no, no! What are you doing?

I'm turning right!

But you're going the wrong way.

You should have been on that road back there, the one that turned left.

You told me to turn right.

I didn't tell you to turn right.

You said "Turn right here," and I turned right.

You didn't let me finish! I was trying to tell you to turn left.

What I was trying to say is "You turn right here, left."

"Turn right here left?"

Exactly.

Have you any conception how much room it takes

to turn this thing around?

We may have to go on for miles and miles.

Well, only a couple of more miles, and we'll be there.

Wait till you see what I have for your dinner.

Don't tell me you're going to try to cook dinner?

I certainly am. I've got it all planned.

First you're going to take your shower, and by the time

you've finished, I'll have dinner all ready.

Oh, Nicky, won't it be wonderful?

Our first dinner in our own little home.

- Hey! - What? What happened?

I almost forgot.

I didn't give you your wedding present yet.

Oh! Heh.

Look there in the glove compartment.

- The envelope. - Oh.

"Mrs. Nicholas Collini." Oh, honey.

Go on, look inside.

What is it?

Well, I always read

where you put the house in your wife's name,

so there you are, the trailer is yours.

Oh, Nicky, honey! Oh, baby! Thank you!

Oh, that's just wonderful.

- Mr. and Mrs. Collini? - That's right.

Well, now. Welcome to Breezeway Trailer Park.

Thank you.

I have your space waiting for you.

You don't have to do a thing.

Just step inside and register.

I'll unhorse your rigging and get you all hooked up.

Oh, thanks.

You're quite welcome.

Mr. Lawfield, lot 33,

call your mother at her home.

Mrs. Morley, lot 12,

special delivery for you at the park office.

Mr. Carmel, lot 21, we have a package for you.

- Anything wrong? - Wrong?

I mean with the missis.

Oh. Uh, she turned her ankle.

Oh... On that concrete block, I bet.

You poor darling. Don't you worry. I know just what to do.

Bring me a pail of hot water and that bag of Epsom salts.

Here, let me help.

Oh, please, I can manage all right.

You can't get her through that way.

Well, please let me down. I can walk these few steps.

Oh, you'll do nothing of the sort.

Here, give me her feet.

I know just how to manage this.

- Is someone hurt? - Broke her ankle.

Oh, isn't that too bad?

This is Miss Dudley.

She's the big Airway Vagabond next door.

How do you do, Mrs. Vagabond?

Now, easy does it. Easy does it there.

Look out. Low bridge.

Where do you want her? On the bed?

Please, I feel fine. Really, I do.

Gentle there. Gentle, gentle now, don't hurt her.

There we are. Which one is it?

- The left. - The right.

Oh, yeah, the left, the left.

Emma! We're out of Epsom salts,

but the lady in the Zimmer 36 is bringing some.

We've got to get you off your foot.

Now, my girl, you come right back here, I'll fix you up.

- Come in, Maude! - I brought the Epsom salts.

- Ladies, this is Miss Baird. - Hello.

Nick Collini, Mrs. Collini.

How do you do?

Oh, I'm certainly pleased to meet you.

Oh, golly, what a beautiful rig this is.

- Will you look at these drapes? - Oh, not now, Maude.

We've got to make this little girl comfortable.

Now, Miss W., you take that arm,

Maude, you take that one. Now, easy, easy.

Don't let her step on it. Take it easy.

Easy, girls. Now watch that step.

Watch that step! Watch it, watch it!

Give me it! Give me that. I got the hot water!

Oh, Mrs. Hittaway is a wonder!

Any sickness or trouble, why, she's there before the doctor.

Mr. Collini! Say, I hear you had a nasty accident.

Oh, it was really nothing, nothing at all.

Well, how about seeing a doctor? We got a dandy doctor on 0-0-3.

Oh, no, really, it's not necessary. You're very kind.

Joe, those poor kids haven't had a bite of supper.

Suppose you run over and bring the casserole?

Do her good to have some munchables.

Oh, we wouldn't think of it, really, we wouldn't.

You go right ahead, Joe.

I'd like to know what a trailerite is good for,

if it's not to help another trailerite!

What did you say?

I say you towed her far?

No, we haven't been traveling very much lately.

- Nice rig, very good rig. - Thank you.

I'm a Cozy-Coach man myself.

That's a good rig, too. Towed her over 7,000 miles.

Well, that's not saying that this isn't a good rig, too.

- It is. - Thank you. Excuse me, please.

Here you are, sir.

Mr. Collini! Do you mind?

I want the husband and the kids to see this.

- Sure. - This is my husband, Carl,

and this is Nick Collini.

Oh, look, darling! Look at this! Is this really living?

You know, next year, we're going to trade in our Airway Zephyr

and get one of the new ones.

Well, I lived in a house in town for 15 years.

I never did get to know some of my neighbors,

even after 15 years.

But in a trailer park, you get to know everyone right off.

Yeah, you certainly do.

Is my wife here?

Here I am, baby!

I've been looking all over for you.

Oh, Nicky, I want you to meet my husband.

Pop? That's all I got left, pop.

No, just plain water.

Folks, do you know what time it is? 11:30.

That's the fine thing about trailer life.

Everybody bobs up at one place or another.

I know some people we met in Miami --

Save it, Joe! Here, take this.

Now, don't you worry about your little wife.

She's going to be right as rain in the morning.

She don't know it, but I gave her a sleeping pill.

Bye now!

Mrs. Jack Wood, lot 15.

Please call your children.

Oops!

Whoa!

Mrs. Jack Wood, lot 15,

please call your children.

They are running wild in the park flower bed.

Mr. Lawfield, lot 33. Call your mother at her --

Well, don't tell me you finally decided to wake up?

- Oh, good morning, darling. - Good morning.

What happened? I haven't slept like that in my life.

What did they put in that foot bath?

Well, Mrs. Hittaway decided it would be a wonderful idea

to give you a sleeping pill.

A sleeping -- Oh, fine.

Mr. Lawfield, lot 33.

Call your mother --

- Noisy here, isn't it? - Yeah, it sure is.

We better get out of here before the next delegation comes in.

You know, Nicky, we don't have to stay in these trailer parks.

We can go anywhere we want to. We've got wheels.

Why don't we just go along until we find a nice place

and just stop there and stay as long as we like?

Well, you won't have no electricity, no refrigerator,

- no lights, no heater -- - I don't care.

You won't have any hot and cold running water.

I don't care. We got gas to cook by.

That's all that matters.

Oh, Nicky, let's do it.

It would just be wonderful.

Some lovely spot in the forest,

just you and me all alone.

- You know something? - Hmm?

Sounds wonderful to me.

Me, too.

Oh, there's a nice little forest road.

Mmm. Yeah.

Oh, Nicky, it's all my fault.

Oh, now, don't be crazy.

I was the one. I should have known better.

What are we going to do?

Well, we'll take the car and go into town,

and in the morning I'll come back with a tow car.

You mean just go away and leave it?

- Leave our trailer? - Certainly.

Oh, no, no, I couldn't do that. I just couldn't.

Well, nobody will go by here. This is an old logging road.

I can't go away and leave this beautiful new trailer

with all of our wedding presents in it and our clothes.

Why can't we stay here?

Why can't we stay here all night?

Oh, Nicky, please?

- Oh, okay. - Give me the keys.

Now, you turn on the gas,

and I'll have dinner before you know it.

Gas.

"For overnight parking, select an attractive trailer park.

The park attendant will help you get your coach in position,

and as soon as utilities are attached to coach,

you can turn on the refrigerator and the water heater,

shop for food, and start eating."

Nicky, I can't open the door.

I can't get it open. The other one doesn't work, either.

Well, let me try it.

Oh, Nicky, it's starting to rain.

Naturally.

Aah! No, no, no! Now, don't hurt it!

- Don't hurt it? - No.

- Get the flashlight, will you? - Okay.

Oof!

Oh, good, you got it open.

I won't try to unpack. I'll just get out what we need for dinner.

Okay.

You know, it's a good thing we didn't have dinner last night.

Now I have everything in the casserole.

Unh. Pull.

And all I have to do is...

heat it up.

Oh, dear!

Oh, don't worry, I'll fix something, honey.

Here's your favorite cheese...

and I-I'll fix some eggs,

and make some nice, hot coffee.

I'll go outside and get the jack

and try to level this thing up a little.

All right. Oh!

- I'm sorry, honey. - That's all right, baby.

While you're out there, will you turn on the gas?

Okay.

Okay!

Oh, just a minute.

Okay.

¡Ay!

Yes, sir.

Now for the piece de resistance.

Isn't this fun, honey?

Uh-huh. What more can you ask?

A hunk of cheese, jug of wine,

and thou beside me in the wild-erness.

Beside me where?

The wild-erness.

Heh. In the wild-erness.

- Take a straw. - Thank you.

Nicky, you know what made me fall in love with you?

Because of the way I drive a trailer?

My velvety eyes?

My elegant nose?

No. It was the first time I ever saw you.

It was at the celebration for the opening

of the new freeway, remember?

We were all at the beach.

And you never looked at me.

- I did too. - Unh-unh.

You were being very gay, making a pass at some girl.

And suddenly I noticed that one of the buttons

was off the front of your shirt.

And I just wanted to cry, I felt so sorry for you.

I thought of you living all alone in hotels

and boarding houses in strange cities,

and no one to sew your buttons on.

Right then, I made up my mind that I was going to marry you.

I was going to marry you and take care of you.

That's nice.

I was going to take care of you. Now look what I've done.

Nicky, what are you thinking about?

Hmm?

What are you thinking about?

I was wondering how the heck

they're gonna get this trailer out of here.

Oh.

Hi.

I'll have your bed ready in a minute.

Ha ha! Sleepy boy.

Honey, don't you love the sound of the rain on the roof?

Oh. Poor little baby.

You've had a busy day, haven't you?

Aah!

What's the matter, honey? Can't you sleep?

Now, let's see. Tow car, $20.

Two men, three hours, $21.50.

Washing car and trailer, $5.00.

Total $46.50. Let's call it an even $46.

Well, that's very kind of you. There you are.

Thank you, and call again.

You're welcome.

Thank you, sir.

Was it terribly expensive?

No more than if we had a suite at the Waldorf.

Oh dear. Well, never mind.

We won't be spending any money for a week now

visiting Aunt Anastacia in Bridgewood.

Thank heavens.

Now, this is my father's side of the family, his two sisters --

Aunt Anastacia and Aunt Ellen. She lives two houses down.

Uh, don't forget to thank her for her wedding present.

What was it?

She's the one that gave us the luggage

that we couldn't take back because it was monogrammed.

- Oh, yeah. - And Aunt Anastacia, of course.

She hasn't given us our present yet.

She said it's gonna be a check.

I'm her namesake, so it should be a nice, fat one.

$100, at least.

Well, I married an heiress.

Oh, pooh. Let's see...

and then there's the twins Dottie and Kay.

You met them at the wedding, and the boys, and...

Oh, yes. Poor Grace.

Poor Grace?

She's Aunt Anastacia's daughter.

Oh, yeah, and I almost forgot Uncle Edgar.

Oh, there it is! There's the house!

There they are! Hi!

Hey, Tacy!

Hi, hon!

Oh, my gosh.

Hello, darling!

Oh, and Grace. How nice to see you, dear.

Oh, and the twins! Look how they've grown!

I just want to call you Dottie. Oh, I'm wrong.

Oh, Tommy.

How wonderful to be here, I just can't tell...

And this...

And this is Nicky.

- Aunt Anastacia. - How do you do?

- And Uncle Edgar. - Nicholas.

And this is Aunt Ellen.

Oh. How do you do?

- And my Uncle Bill. - How are you?

And Aunt Ellen's family -- Dottie and Kay, the twins.

You met them at the wedding. I never can tell 'em apart.

- And this is Jody. - Joe.

Oh, Joe. That's right. I gotta remember.

This is little Tommy.

- Hello, Tommy. - How about that face?

- Grace. - Oh, and poor -- And Grace.

How do you do? Glad to know you.

My, I never saw anything so big.

Imagine dragging a thing like that.

Look at that thing. It's enormous.

You know, I don't see how

you ever have the courage to pull that.

It would scare me to death.

Oh, it's nothing, really.

Oh, don't you believe it. He's a wonderful driver.

You have to be a wonderful driver to haul that.

Oh, now, Tacy.

Well, you are. You know you are.

You should have seen him going through towns and everything.

How much would a thing like that weigh, would you say?

Oh, a little over three tons.

Three tons!

Imagine pulling three tons.

Weren't you scared?

Well, I'll be honest. The first 100 miles --

First 50 miles, I was a little nervous,

but after you get the hang of it, there's nothing to it.

Nothing to it at all.

You know, I daresay a thing like that is pretty expensive.

Oh, $5,000. $6,000 with the extra,

but that's not really expensive.

No. You have to think of it as a home.

And where could you find a home, fully equipped, for $6,000?

Can we go in?

Can we see what it looks like inside?

Well, not just now, kids. I'll have to stabilize it first.

He has to stabilize it -- hook it down so it doesn't jiggle.

We thought you could put it there

in front of the garage.

That way you could hook in on the electricity.

Oh, that's very good.

- Just back it in. - Just... back it in?

Yeah. That way, you can have the use of the car.

Oh, sure. Of course. Yes.

Well, here it goes.

You're going to be his family now, all of you.

I know he's going to love you,

and I hope you're gonna love him.

- Of course we will. - I'm sure we will.

"To back a trailer coach,

place your hand at the bottom of the steering wheel.

Move your hand right, counterclockwise,

to back the trailer to your right."

Counterclockwise.

"Move your hand to the left, clockwise,

to back the trailer to your left."

Clockwise, left. Counterclockwise, right.

Right, counterclockwise.

Uh... there...

Whoa! Whoa! That way!

Hold it! Hold it!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

No, no! The other way!

Oh, Aunt Anastacia, this is terrible. I'm so sorry!

It's quite all right. It doesn't matter.

I think I know what he's been doing wrong. It'll be fine now.

Pull forward!

A little more to the right.

Turn the other way! Thataway!

My rose! My rose!

You tore down my rose with your lousy stinking trailer!

Oh, darling, what's the matter? This is awful.

I don't know, I don't know what's the matter.

Everybody's yelling at the same time.

I'm trying to do my best.

I'm turning right, guy says, "Turn left."

I turn left, the guy says, "Turn right."

I read the book. Counterclockwise --

Nicky! Sit down and be quiet.

Now, you just sit down and relax. I'll take care of this.

Now listen, everybody. Quiet!

There's too many people telling him what to do.

You're confusing this poor boy.

Only one person should give instructions.

Start the motor, darling.

Don't you worry about a thing.

I want absolute silence, you hear?

Come on, my darling. Don't worry about a thing.

All right now. Okay.

Now. Now, go right back. Take it easy.

Now, a little to the left.

Little to the left.

That's right. Take it easy, now.

Little bit to the right. Straight back.

Now, little to the left.

Little to the left.

That's right. Take it easy. Now straight back.

Right straight. Straight back. That's it.

Straight... straight... Stop!

You're all right.

Get back.

All right, hold it now. Stay right there.

I want to get lined up here.

Okay, okay. Come on, now, but slowly.

Take it easy.

Slowly... slowly, that's right.

That's right.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Straight. Straight.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Beautiful morning, isn't it?

Yeah, great.

That certainly was a lovely dinner last night,

Auntie, the bread pudding and all.

Shame you have to

- rush off like this. - Well...

Look, I wish you'd let me pay for that.

It would certainly make me feel better.

No, really. We wouldn't think of it.

Well, this is one thing. We won't take this wedding present.

Oh, now, don't do that. We insist on your having that.

Don't we, Mother?

You heard him, Edgar.

If it makes him feel better...

It certainly does. Well, we'll say goodbye again.

Goodbye.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

You giving back that check.

I was gonna get us a deep freeze.

You're getting a deep freeze right now. Look at those faces.

- You're a wonderful cook. - Well, thank you.

I'll be a lot better when I get to know that stove.

Listen, don't you think we'd better start

eating those peaches if you want to finish that whole lot?

Heh. Nicky.

They're not for eating. I'm gonna put them up.

- Up where? - I'm gonna can them.

Here in the trailer, you're gonna can them?

You don't understand.

You have to grab these things when they're in season.

You just wait till next winter.

We're going to have peaches and tomatoes

and raspberries and...

Nicky, it isn't so bad here, is it?

I mean, you feel a little better about the trailer, don't you?

I got news for you. You could make me happy living in a cave.

Oh, I haven't even begun to make you happy.

You're gonna have a real home.

Gonna find a place for all your books and everything.

I'm gonna get a television set.

I think that's a good place for it, right over there.

Aren't you afraid you're gonna spoil me?

I like being pampered, you know.

I'm liable to get real lazy and -- Oh!

What on earth is that?

Isn't it beautiful, darling?

Our first rock.

Our first what?

Put it down here, honey.

You see, what I thought, we'd get a rock wherever we went.

And then when we get to Colorado,

we'll put 'em all around the patio,

and whenever we look at 'em, we can think

of all the wonderful times we've had.

Every one a memory, you know.

You're like a magpie building a nest,

picking up piece of straw here, a thread there...

You'd better be nice to me,

or I'll take my trailer and go home.

Well, I'll tell you a secret.

Your trailer is no good without my car to haul it.

Like me. No good without you.

Keep thinking that.

♪ Mmm, just breezin' along With the breeze ♪

♪ Breezing along ♪

♪ Trailin' a trail ♪

♪ Trailing the trail ♪

♪ Roamin' the sea ♪

♪ A-trailin' and a-roamin' ♪

♪ Like the birdies that sing in the trees ♪

♪ Tweet, tweet, tweet ♪

♪ Breezin' to live ♪

♪ Livin' to breeze ♪

♪ The sky is the only roof ♪

♪ I have over my head ♪

♪ And when I'm weary ♪

♪ Mother Nature makes me a bed ♪

♪ In the trailer ♪

♪ We're just goin' along as we please ♪

♪ Breezing along ♪

♪ With the breeze ♪

I thought you wanted this one.

No, honey. The other one.

Help me pick up the other one.

- That one over there? - Yeah.

All right.

This is a beauty!

Oh, look at that. Isn't that terrific?

Heavy, huh?

I want to drive, Nicky.

Now, Tacy, that's one thing that I can't let you do.

Oh, come on now. I'm a good driver.

I've been driving since I was 15,

and in Los Angeles, yet. What more could you ask?

Now look, honey. This is something altogether different.

You're pulling three tons. There's a trick to it.

I know. I've been watching you. I know how.

Now, honey, stop this nonsense. Now, come on, move over.

You ought to at least let me try.

What if you broke an arm or a leg or something?

Then I'd have to drive and you'd be sorry.

Okay.

- Careful! - What's the matter, dear?

Don't ever take off like that!

You've got to remember, you've got 50 feet of train behind you.

I know, dear. I know.

Now, slow down.

You're going too fast, dear.

Slow down.

Yes, dear. Don't worry.

Hey, what are you doing? You can't do that!

You are over the white line.

I know it, dear.

Have you lost your mind? Get back, get back!

Just a minute.

Is that the Denver route mark?

I don't know. You're going so fast I couldn't read it.

It's all right. I saw it.

I'm telling you, you are driving too fast.

You cannot drive this trailer at this speed.

It's all right. It's only 35.

It's all right for you, but I am sitting in the suicide seat.

Oh, very well.

All right now, we're coming up onto a town now.

Come on, I'll take over now. Pull over there.

I can't. There's a car behind me.

Oh, Nicky, did you see that darling dress?

It was blue, and it had rickrack edging --

Keep your hands on the wheel!

Well!

There's a turn out of town. I think it's right.

Would you look at the map, please?

- Red light! Red light! - I see it.

- Trailer brakes first! - I have them.

Which way? We may be coming to it any minute. Which way?

I'm trying to find it.

Green light. Green light!

If you'd stop watching the road and look at the map...

Somebody's gotta watch the road.

Here's where we are, right here.

- You turn left. - Are you sure?

Here it is.

Oh, you're reading the map wrong. We're going south now.

What's that got to do with it?

When you go south, you have to read the map

upside-down -- that way.

Of all the stupid, ridiculous nonsense

I've ever heard, this is the stupidest.

It would take a woman to figure out that --

Beautiful spot, isn't it?

You ever seen such wonderful trees?

And the color. Just look at that color.

Yes, sir.

You want to stop and get a rock?

- No. - Okay.

I thought you might like to, it's so nice here.

Hey, what was that camp

you were talking to me about this morning?

You said it was some very special trailer park

you wanted to stay in tonight.

You passed it an hour ago.

I did?

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't notice.

Oh, well, there'll be a lot more, I guess.

♪ La di da da ♪

♪ Di da da da da ♪

♪ La di da da ♪

Good evening.

Could you tell us where we could find a trailer park around here?

You passed the best one in the country

a couple hundred miles back.

Oh. Nothing else around, huh?

Not a thing, bud.

You want to go back?

200 miles?

I'll tell you what you can do.

I'm closing up, and you're welcome to park here.

$2 for the night, and you can plug into my electric current.

Okay.

Thank you.

If you're hungry, you'll find something to eat in the icebox.

And what are you doing?

I'm going to sleep in the living room.

You are not gonna do any such thing.

- Oh, no? - No.

If anybody's gonna sleep there, I will.

Please, let's not be

any more childish about this than is necessary.

I would prefer sleeping here.

So if you don't mind,

will you take your things and get out?

Just as you wish.

Nicky! Nicky.

Nicky, don't let's ever fight again.

No, sweetheart.

Nicky, you know...

You know why I think we had that awful fight?

Why we have arguments? We drive too long.

We get to a place tired and hungry,

and then we have to wait hours for me to get dinner ready.

Well, honey, then all we have to do is just eat in restaurants.

You know that half the time

there just aren't any restaurants.

No. I have a better idea.

- What's that, honey? - Tomorrow afternoon,

about half an hour before we want to have our dinner,

I'll go back in the trailer and get everything ready.

And then you pull in to some nice spot,

and by the time you get the wheels blocked

and get washed up,

I'll have dinner on the table.

Mmm. I'm hungry already.

Mmm, smells wonderful. What are we having?

Ragout of beef.

Ragout of beef!

Angel food cake with fresh strawberries.

- Oh, boy! - And Caesar salad.

Oh, I make a wonderful Caesar salad.

Let me crumble the Roquefort cheese. I got a special --

Roquefort? Only boors use Roquefort.

You use aged, grated parmesan.

Now, come on, honey. Get out of here, will you?

- I have a lot to do. - All right.

Oh, listen, can I cut the greens for you?

You don't cut the greens. You tear them.

Now get out of here, will you, please? I have a lot to do.

Now, stop that!

Sorry.

Oh, listen.

If you need anything, just rap at the front window.

Yes, dear. Yes, I will.

♪ We're having ragout of beef ♪

♪ Angel food cake with strawberries ♪

♪ And Caesar salad ♪

♪ A Caesar salad ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la li la la ♪

♪ My compliments to the chef ♪

♪ Good evening, Pierre, what are you pushing tonight ♪

♪ Could I tempt you with a lobster thermidor? ♪ Eh.

♪ The bouillabaisse is fine tonight, monsieur ♪

Nah.

♪ Hey, how about ragout of beef? ♪

Ragout of beef! I'm your boy!

Nicky! It isn't going to work! Nicky!

Nicky!

♪ Tear the lettuce ♪

♪ Don't you cut it ♪

♪ And be sure ♪

♪ To crumble the cheese ♪

♪ Don't you dare ♪

♪ To use any Roquefort ♪

♪ La la -- ♪ Whoa.

♪ La di la la la la la ♪

Nicky!

♪ Mario, ice the champagne ♪

♪ Serve the brandy in the gold room ♪

♪ But I warn you, no corkage ♪

♪ Or else we'll roar ♪

Nicky!

Nicky!

♪ First you dice the carrot, slice the onion ♪

♪ Chop the pepper fine ♪

♪ Then you sift the flour, grind the meat ♪

♪ And salt and pepper freely ♪

♪ Then you add some garlic ♪

Oh, not too much, now! Just a soupcon.

♪ He sure is the best in the house ♪

♪ Oh, the white wine with the fish ♪

♪ And the red wine with the meat ♪

♪ And the white wine with the fish ♪

♪ And the red wine with the meat ♪

♪ And the white wine with the fish ♪

♪ And the red wine with the meat and ♪

Ha ha!

Well?

You're on the wrong side of the street.

That's all right, dear. Come on, now.

Take it easy, now. Be careful.

There you are.

You're double-parked.

Yes, I know, honey. Don't worry.

Now, look, I'll be back at the cafe in one hour.

Will you be all right?

Uh-huh.

I love this stuff. My mother used to make it.

I can still remember what the kitchen smelled like.

It was so wonderful.

Oh, here he is at last. The coffee, please.

Wasn't I lucky?

The waitress said that she had some piccalilli --

makes it with her own tomatoes and things --

so I got a dozen jars.

- Thank you. - Surely.

Tacy, I was talking to a fellow in the parking lot.

He made me an offer on the trailer.

$1,000.

He takes over the payments and everything.

He'll pay us today, cash.

Where were you planning for us to live?

In a house, like human beings --

Something that is fastened to the ground,

that doesn't quiver every time you take a step,

something that we don't have to drag after us

everyplace we go like a couple of turtles.

I think you're terrible.

Huh?

Talking about selling our home.

Oh, for heaven's sakes, Tacy,

you don't mean to tell me

that you were thinking of staying there

after all that's happened?

Look at you. You can't walk,

you're bruised from head to foot --

That wasn't the trailer's fault.

I had no right to be back there.

The girls at the hairdresser's told me it's against the law

for anyone to ride in the back of a trailer while it's moving.

You could have been arrested for that.

I could have been arrested?

They won't let you put any living thing back there --

Not a cat or a dog or even a canary, much less your wife.

I put you back there? I was the one --

You certainly did.

Now, you listen to me. You --

Oh. You see what I mean?

That's all we've been doing

since we bought that -- that thing.

Fighting, fighting, fighting.

I'm not fighting. I'm just trying to tell you.

Besides, it isn't your trailer. It's mine.

You have no right to sell it.

I am the one who has to haul it,

and let me tell you something.

It's been one long nightmare,

worrying about will the brakes hold,

are the signals working, are we going to make that hill,

is it boiling over...

I don't care. I won't sell it.

I don't care what you say.

We'd be fools. We're almost there.

We got a thousand miles to go yet!

Well, I don't care. I won't sell it.

I love it. I love it!

Well...

at least I know where I stand.

You finished?

Nicky?

Yes?

The piccalilli.

Nicky?

Nicky, darling, it's awfully late.

Mm-hmm.

Aren't you ever coming to bed, dear?

Tacy, come here.

I want to show you something.

I've been figuring tomorrow's run --

- if you can call it a run. - Hmm?

Now, you see that -- that figure?

- Uh-huh. - 8,000.

8,000? Well, that's a pretty good-sized little town.

They'll have a nice trailer park there.

That is not population. It's elevation.

That mountain is 8,000 feet.

- That's high, isn't it? - Yeah. Too high for us.

Oh, I wouldn't worry. They said it would take mountains.

Look, Tacy, that was before,

when this thing weighed three tons.

Heaven only knows what it weighs now.

You must have collected a ton of rocks

and another ton of all this stuff you've been canning.

It's all got to go.

What do you mean?

I mean I want you to get rid of all this stuff

before we start that climb tomorrow morning.

You can get the manager to help you carry them out.

Well, I won't do it. I just won't.

I think that's perfectly ridiculous.

Look, Tacy, I will not haul this trailer one inch

until all this stuff is out.

Where you going?

I'm going to the garage.

They're going to work on the car all night --

Check on everything.

I'll be back after a while. Don't wait up for me.

Mr. Judlow, what was the name on that one?

Uh... Dinosaur National Monument.

Oh, that's one of my favorites. I just can't let that go.

Would you bring it back again, please?

Yes, ma'am.

But you've only eliminated four so far.

Well... "Bridge of the Gods."

Snake River.

Oh, it's just too much to ask.

Every one of them reminds me

of some wonderful place we've been.

And now to throw them away

just like they're another bunch of rocks...

I just can't do it. I just can't do it.

But you'll find wonderful rocks in Colorado.

- Why, when we were there -- - I know, I know,

but this isn't the same.

You see, we're on our honeymoon and everything, you know.

I think Nicky's being unreasonable.

I thought a trailer was like a boat --

that the more weight it carried, the better it would ride.

Isn't that true?

Well, in a way.

Can't you think of some way that we can keep them?

They're pretty heavy, you know.

I know, but can't you think of something, please?

Well, uh...

perhaps you could sort of...

distribute them along each side.

Oh, I see. You mean distribute them

so that they'll carry the weight evenly.

- Is that it? - Yeah.

Oh, that's a wonderful idea!

Will you help me? I don't have much time.

We could put some down here.

Better tell your husband

so he'll know what to expect.

Oh, yeah. I'll tell him,

but later, you know.

Look, do you think I'll make this all right?

Oh, sure. Just remember what I told you about the brakes.

You can't use electrical brakes continuously.

If they burn out, there's nothing to hold you.

Better keep stopping to cool 'em off,

if the road isn't too steep.

What if the road is too steep?

Well, in that case, you just nose the car

into the bank and jackknife the trailer to stop.

Unless the road is too narrow. Then you're better off --

Wait a minute. Suppose the road is too narrow?

Well, you got to use your own judgment when you get there --

You know, feel out the terrain.

Look, is there any other road

that I can take instead of this one?

Well, yeah. You could take the route around here,

but that's a 500-mile detour,

and the road is in bad shape since the flood.

The bridge was washed out.

You'll be all right. Just keep your nerves steady.

Thanks.

- Hi. - Hi.

Did you get rid of all the rocks and things?

Yes.

Okay. Let's go, then.

Okay.

I'll lock it.

Thanks.

- Tacy? - Hmm?

I guess I was kind of rough on you last night,

but you understand, don't you?

Sure, I understand.

Well, at least we have a nice day for it.

How do you mean?

I mean the weather and all.

Oh. Oh, yes. Yes, it's a fine day.

As a matter of fact, I was thinking awhile back there

that it was a fine day...

Ahem. For it.

♪ I've got you under my -- ♪

Did you, uh... finish your book?

What... book?

The book you were reading.

Oh.

That book.

Did you finish it?

No.

Didn't finish it, huh?

What?

The book.

Oh.

No.

Halfway through it,

I found out that we'd seen the movie,

so I didn't finish it.

They didn't make a movie out of that, did they?

Well, they didn't call it that.

They changed the title.

They called it the... something, uh...

The something, uh...

Was it the golden something?

No, no. Nothing like that.

I-It was the one with the -- W-What's his name?

You know, the actor that was married to

the beautiful brunette girl that liked squirrels.

Michael Wilding.

Was it that picture with the fellow

with his shoes on his knees?

No. No.

Then there was this big party scene...

where she threw the drink in his face.

Then... this woman...

Which woman?

The other woman -- not the one who didn't know the brother.

You mean the one who knew the brother?

Yeah.

Well, this woman came in who had met the brother, uh,

but didn't know where the brother was.

And then the girl told them about the brother,

a-and then there was this big -- Aah!

Thank heavens we made it.

Yeah. Now we got to get down.

I-I didn't mean to lie to you, Nicky,

but they mean so much to me, Nicky.

Nick! N-Ni-Nicky! Nicky, stop it!

Stop it! Oh, Nicky, please don't, please!

We made it. Nothing happened.

Nicky, please! Please don't!

Stop it!

Nicky, I'll never speak to you again as long as I live!

Nicky! Nicky! Nicky!

I'll never know how I got the trailer down that mountain.

It was a nightmare.

We didn't say a word to each other.

That night, I got in my car and drove away,

trying to get it out of my system.

When I came back, the trailer was gone.

My wife was gone.

You know, they say that most marriages that break up

break up in the first three years.

In a trailer, it's the speed-up system.

Well, now, I would have thought you were lucky,

starting off life in

an up-to-the-minute thing like that.

I remember when mother and I were married.

We lived in a two-room shack --

no heat, kerosene lamps.

We had to go outside to wash our hands.

Well, sir, we fought like two cats in a bag,

and we'd have split up for sure that first winter --

if it hadn't been so cold.

We had to make up, or we'd have froze to death.

And you know the funny thing?

Any fight we ever had

would have been patched up in a minute

if either of us could've brought ourselves

to say two words --

Just two words -- "I'm sorry."

You've no idea the way it works.

I'll bet if you went to her and said, "I'm sorry -- "

Sorry? Sorry for what?! She's the one.

She should come crawling on her knees.

You realize she could have killed the two of us?

She and her rocks and her raspberry jams.

There's Mrs. Tewitt now.

I'll be in the trailer!

Joe, the freezer fits. Isn't it wonderful?

Come on, darling.

I'll show you just where it goes.

Not just now. Wait a minute.

Would it be asking too much if I took my clothes,

or are they supposed to go with the trailer?

I've already sent them Express, care of the project.

I'll send your money there, too.

Money?

The money for the trailer.

The trailer is yours. I gave it to you.

Well, under the circumstances, of course,

I couldn't accept it.

I'll just keep enough money to get me home, that's all.

Now, if you'll excuse me...

Tacy, I'd like to say something.

I, uh...

Um...

Yes?

Well...

I better go.

Nicky!

Nicky!

Nicky! Nicky!

Nicky!

Nicky, I'm sorry! I --

No, honey, no. Don't say it. Don't say it.

- Let me say it, honey. - I'm sorry, baby.

I should never have made you get that trailer.

- No, honey. It wasn't... - It was an honest mistake.

Looks like we don't get a trailer.

Well, not this one.