Original subtitles

This programme contains some strong language.

LAUGHTER

What is going on here?

You all right there?

CHATTER, LAUGHTER

What is this? Check this out.

Whoa! Whoa, hey, hey, hey!

Calm down. Calm down. Put it down. It's no' funny.

Hey, Danny, come on. Come on, just walk away.

GUN COCKS Danny, come on.

I don't think they're joking. Leave it!

Danny!

GUN CLICKS

WOMAN'S VOICE: Shit!

Come on, let's go! Come on, Danny!

Come on, this way!

SHE PANTS

SHE PANTS, SIGHS

We've lost her! Where does she live?

I don't know. She dots about. I know where she lives. Let's go!

LOCK TURNS

SHE PANTS

Here she is! Your gun was a piece of shit.

CHUCKLES: Did you think I was going to give ya a real gun?!

You could've given me one that made a fucking noise!

I paid good money for that.

They're coming.

No, they wouldn't. Not to my home.

This is not your home! That's enough of your cheek!

You'll have given them a wee scare. They'll leave us alone now.

What's happening? Go to bed, Mum!

How can I, with all the shouting?

Go to bed, love. This is between me and her.

What does that mean? DOOR OPENS

DANNY: Where is she? Which one is it?

LAD: Up the stairs! LAD: This way, man!

Fuck! Right, that's enough of the language.

You don't go to university to use language like that!

Go to bed, Mum! They're no' coming here!

DOOR SLAMS

They're a bunch of bloody kids,

they'll no' come to the door of Big Al McKee!

This door here.

Aye. Aye, it's this one.

THEY BANG ON DOOR

DOOR BURSTS OPEN

You boys are making a big mistake!

You don't come to Leith and try and take out Big Al McKee!

You must be off your bloody rockers!

You tell Maggie she can't push me about, not without Roy!

She's nothing without Roy!

HE SCREAMS

THUD

Tell her I'll be back.

Al!

SHE SOBS

Oh, no, no, no, no!

Al!

ALARM RINGS

ALARM STOPS RINGING

MUSIC: Peaches by The Stranglers

HE SIGHS

SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE

RODENT SCURRIES ON FLOOR

♪ Strolling along Minding my own business

♪ Well, there goes a girl and a half

♪ She's got me going up and down She's got me going up and down

♪ Walking on the beaches Lookin' at the peaches... ♪

BEEPING, SAFE OPENS

♪ Down on the beaches Just look at all the peaches

♪ Down on the beaches Just look at all the brown bodies

♪ Down on the beaches Just look at all the sunglasses

♪ Down on the beaches Just look at all the peaches

♪ Down on the beaches Just look at all the peaches

♪ Down on the beaches

♪ Mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm

♪ Mmm, mmm

♪ Mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm Mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm... ♪

I know what you're going to say - "Why are they still there?"

I'm in advanced talks with a novelty costume store

who say they might be able to go up to $2 a hat.

Is this working for you, Jake?

That's what I'm trying to... No, I mean, this -

a crappy apartment,

you going broke with your asshole brother.

HE CHUCKLES

You and I are bohemians.

We reject societal rules.

We don't care for material possessions.

It would be nice to have material possessions

to not care about...

...other than the fucking fezzes.

I'm working on the fez situation.

And I'm stacking shelves all night and studying for college all day

to try and build something, to try to save us.

But the more I try to save us, the more it feels like we're sinking

and the more I think that I'm sinking

because you're dragging me down.

That's what's going on for me, Jake, while you work on the fez situation.

I recognise and respect your frustration.

Look, you're a good guy and we had fun, I think.

It's kind of a distant memory... No, no, no, not that.

How can it not be that? I'll do something, OK?

I'll do something.

What? What are you going to do?

Well, I could...

I don't know. I mean, you're putting me on the spot a wee bit!

Go to the bar, Jake.

And only come back here when you have a better answer than that.

The end is coming. You should prepare accordingly.

This place was going OK before you came along.

No! It was going appallingly, as was your book-keeping.

Things'll pick up.

There's no basis for that theory.

A more reliable theory is that I continue in this horrific existence,

stuck here with you, while things do not pick up.

I've got some ideas.

Are these ideas of a similar quality to Turkish Mondays?

Turkish Mondays, as a premise, was essentially flawless.

I know about the fezzes, Jake. I found the invoice.

Do you, a grown man, currently live with 500 fezzes?

You're not stuck here.

Roy Lynch is dead. You could go back to Edinburgh.

Happily pack your bags.

Roy Lynch being dead is the reason I can't go back to Edinburgh,

because Maggie Lynch will be somewhat angry about that fact.

And if I returned, that anger would be visited -

with some force - upon me.

I can't tell Angie that we've gone bust.

Now's not a good time for bad news.

You don't have to.

Not yet, at least.

Who are this lot?

It's fair to say we have reached the bottom strata of lenders.

This lot are mad enough to give us the last few quid.

If the end is coming, I wonder how you've prepared.

Cos you'll have a plan for that.

And if you're not telling me, then that suggests it's at my expense.

Again.

I've slept above a pub for a year

and grafted like a madman trying to make this work,

trying to make you and I work...

...to move past guilt, revenge, seek redemption...

...and look where it's got me.

If I had a better plan, I'd have probably used it by now.

MUSIC: Grace by The View

♪ I know it's not your time yet But I see you coming over the hill

♪ Blaming everything on me

♪ Is that the way you get your kicks and your thrills?

♪ You should spare a little time for your mind

♪ And then your body and soul

♪ You act a little crazy but I know you've got it under control

♪ And this is me trying to be kind I want you to know

♪ This whole banging on the roof

♪ And stamping on the floor's getting old... ♪

BEEPING

SAFE CHIMES

BEEPING

WHISTLING IN OTHER ROOM

WHISTLING CONTINUES

WHISTLING GETS LOUDER

BEEPING

SAFE OPENS

How did you get this?

I found his weakness.

After 40 years, I found his weakness.

So he's raised, what...? 300 grand.

In credit, using the bar as collateral,

and tucked it away in a different account. Which is in my name.

So if he gets caught, you take the fall.

And if he doesn't, you lose the pub and he slips away with the money.

Got to hand it to Max - he really commits to screwing you.

You told me to come up with something, and I have.

The account's in my name,

so we take the money, we go, leave Max here -

in a pub going bust, with no visa -

you finish your course, maybe I get back into the vinyl game.

Your visa's up too.

Well, I wondered about that.

If we got married...

...my visa problem goes away.

Obviously, that's not a proposal.

I mean, it's not NOT a proposal,

but I'd rustle up something a wee bit more impressive.

Not like bringing in the ring on a pigeon or anything -

something genuinely classy.

OK.

Let's take the money.

Max. Yoko.

We know, Max.

You know what? About the money.

We know that you hid it - we found it, and now we've taken it.

That money was an investment opportunity.

I was going to tell you about it

when it was too late for you to cock it up, like you've done now.

Well, don't worry. We'll invest it wisely.

Good luck with this place. Jake, wait.

If you got that money, Max would find a way to take it,

and you'd let him do so.

You've had a lifetime to shake him and you haven't managed it.

Why would I believe you could do it now?

SIREN WAILS Someone's got to come out of this

with something, and there's only me left.

SHE SIGHS

Good luck, Jake.

What's happening?

We're going home.

Almonds.

Sorry?

I've been reading about how almonds are good for, you know,

giving the wee lads a bit of a gee up.

LAUGHS: Oh, for God's sake! I'm just saying, it's worth a go.

It's all grist for the mill, no pun intended.

Though I'm not sure if that is a pun, to be fair, is it?

Kenny, you've got kids. It'll happen. Mmm.

What you need to do is relax, avoid stress,

and in the meantime... PHONE RINGS

...enjoy the process. Oh, I'm enjoying the process.

I'd hope so.

Hi.

Yeah, sure.

I was going to go and pay a visit after lunch.

That way, I think she will be there. Yeah.

I've been reading this book...

...about Zen. LAUGHS: Teddy, I didn't...

I didn't see you there.

What I'm hoping is that, by finding a wee bit of Zen,

it'll help me with the anger...

...cos the anger is no longer compatible with my lifestyle.

Well, glad to hear that. HE CHUCKLES

We are growing...

...the purest organically cultivated marijuana in Scotland.

And when it's legalised, we'll be first out the traps to get licensed.

That's right, Teddy. But then...

...I see you about to put a cigarette in your mouth...

...and I think of the toxins you'll release into the atmosphere,

for the plants to absorb, for the plants to be poisoned by.

And I'll be honest with you, pal,

there's a wee battle going on in my head between Zen

and something really awful happening to you right now.

Do you want to know who's winning?

I have to say, Teddy, I'm hoping it's Zen.

Zen's shading it, mate.

Zen's shading it.

But there's no' much in it.

Teddy?

Hi there.

Hello.

We've not met.

No.

I knew the old owners.

Right. We've had a few calls

about the amount of traffic during the night.

Is it against the law to have visitors?

People live here for the quiet.

And now they can't sleep.

They should try meditation.

If you get it right, then a brass band wouldn't wake you up.

Can I have a look around?

Have you got a search warrant?

I could get one, but surely we don't have to go down that road.

Get a search warrant, and I'll show you round myself.

Community.

That's the one thing Leith has always had.

When I grew up here, just down the street by the Boundary Bar,

we didn't have money, but we had a community.

We looked out for each other, we helped each other.

Sometimes we cut a few corners.

Sorry, Constable. Sergeant.

I hope this Community Centre can do the same.

I hope it provides a wee bit of help, a wee arm around the shoulder,

a place for the people of Leith to come

and hold those in authority to account.

So, I might be here making this gift,

but it is me that is saying thank you

to the people of Leith for making me the man I am today.

Thank you!

APPLAUSE

What have you got there, son?

Is that me? Goodness me, what a great picture.

The minute he put it in, I knew it was trouble.

Leylandii, you see - they grow like you wouldn't believe.

Soon enough, it was over the fence, and then it just kept going.

Now it's all I see when I open my curtains in the morning.

So I said, "You have to cut it because I'm losing the sun,"

and he wouldnae.

And then I went to the council, and they said,

aye, he had to cut it, so he said, "Fine, I'll cut it."

And I woke up one day and he'd cut it into this!

He says it's a spaceship, but it's no' a spaceship.

No.

A spaceship doesn't have testicles.

No.

No-one saw anything and no-one's claiming him.

He's local? No, not this local.

Lives a mile away.

Decent record, mostly drugs.

And, er, this was in his pocket.

Every other dealer is lacing their stuff with spice

and all sorts of toxic shit.

This lot are growing it as clean as it comes.

When it's legalised, they can sell this the next day.

Let's ask them again.

A Community Policeman?

How the mighty have fallen!

I could say the same.

Didn't think you'd ever be shaking folk down.

I'm just a poor widow, looking for a wee bit of light in the darkness.

HE SCOFFS

Call this officer at Borders Police.

Tell him the address he visited this morning is subject to

an active Lothian Police investigation and to stay away.

Why would I do that?

Because you have a sickness.

Not any more, I don't.

There's a moneylender in Falkirk who would disagree with that.

You have to go a wee bit further than Falkirk, son,

for me not to know about it.

There's a horse running at Musselburgh on Tuesday.

They've been overweighting it, letting the odds drift.

On Tuesday, they're lifting the shackles.

Make the call, and you'll get the horse's name.

PLANE FLIES OVERHEAD

Do you think that's it?

For me and Angie?

HE LAUGHS WHEEZILY

Yes, Jake.

Seeing as she stole all your money and had you deported,

I would respectfully suggest that your relationship has ended.

I'm not saying it wouldn't be a long... Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake.

Concentrate.

We need to get out the airport, we need to get a taxi to Haymarket,

we need to get a train out of Edinburgh

before Maggie Lynch knows we were here.

Tram. What?

We can get a tram to Haymarket.

We're not getting a tram.

It's cheaper than a taxi. Because it's a tram!

What will it take for you to realise that the life you had before

is gone, Max?

What will it take for you to stop trying to get it back?

Jake, it's very important - and indeed mutually beneficial -

that one of us doesn't see failure as a natural bedfellow.

Dick.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

PHONE RINGS

ON PHONE: It's Stevie. Don't hang up!

What do you want?

I've got something for you, something you'll want to hear.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

He was an angel.

I thought angels could fly?

How can you talk to me like that?

Mum, you were with him for two months.

He was a scumbag.

There wasn't many ways he was going to leave,

and that was always one of them. He had his faults, Skye, but...

He's been stealing from you.

Your holiday money's gone, he's been using your cards,

and I saw him in the Four In Hand pub with his ex

and a kid that looked glaikit enough to be his.

That lying bastard!

Don't answer the door to anyone. Where are you going? Uni.

If you're not going to tell me what you've done,

then you need to go and tell your uncle.

He can sort it out.

Not this, he can't.

How are you this morning?

Travelling together?

Aye, for now.

That will be telling you we were deported from America

and flagging up some minor parole violations on my part.

Erm, however, as a lawyer,

I can tell you that neither of those things give you the right to bar,

or even delay, our re-entry into our beloved home nation of Scotland.

Come with me, please, gentlemen. No.

Look, look, look, look... Erm...

WHISPERS: I don't want to threaten you,

but I have a legal representative who could have you out of a job

by the end of the day.

One phone call each.

How's work? Are you taking the piss?

You're lucky to have it, Stevie. So are you.

We've both got something in the locker.

What do you want?

I have some information.

And when I give it to you, I want you to put in a word for me

when my disciplinary comes up, get me back into a proper role.

If you have information of investigatory interest to CID,

then you give it to me as a senior CID officer

and go back to telling kids how to cross the road.

That's how it works.

Not with this.

This is big enough to get you another bump, Yvonne.

I'm just asking you to let me come in from the cold in return.

I'm not giving you any promises, Stevie.

What I am giving you is the chance to be a fucking policeman.

MAN GROANS

PHONE RINGS

Leith Legals? MAX: Hiya, Kenny!

No!

CALL DISCONNECTS

PHONE RINGS

Hello!

JAKE: Hi, Kenny.

Oh, Christ, there's two of them!

Kenny, listen, we're in a spot of bother here.

All I need you to do... Max, Max...

Let me tell you about my sperm.

They're good lads, they've come up trumps in the past.

But they're old and they're tired and they're easily distracted.

And what they need is peace and quiet,

to gather themselves before one last... hurrah.

And having contact of any nature with you two

is not going to give me - or the lads downstairs -

the necessary peace and quiet that we require.

CALL DISCONNECTS

What did he say?

He talked, largely, about his sperm.

Right.

Wait in there, lads.

Hi! Hey.

Mwah! I got you a coffee. Thanks.

Have you seen my Instagram today?

No, I've been a bit busy.

The party is blowing up.

I can't get any more...

...of the stuff.

I can't get any more.

I've staked my reputation on this party.

SHE LAUGHS

Right.

Look, people can just sort themselves out.

We're not buying them off the fucking street, Skye.

It's a vegan rave.

We can't supply non-organic drugs.

Don't be daft. It'll be fine. I'm looking forward to it.

I don't think your presence would be helpful, Skye.

Yeah, I don't think it would... enhance the vibe.

You can get these.

For fuck's sake!

So what happens now? I don't know.

But when being sent back to prison isn't the worst outcome available,

things aren't great.

Why don't we...? Just let me think, Jake.

I'll sort it.

1981.

What? It's your code, for the safe.

Good year for the Hibs.

We finished tenth and we got knocked out the Scottish Cup by Albion Rovers.

Is this you letting me think, Jake? Cos it doesn't feel like this is you letting me think.

1981 was the year that Dad left.

Was it? You know that.

Dad leaving was a great day. Dad leaving made me the man I am.

Yep, think it did.

DOOR BEEPS, OPENS

You were right.

I've got no jurisdiction over this stuff.

Oh! Well, you look very smart in your uniform.

You're free to go.

I'll walk you out, I'll get you past the queues.

It's the least you can do.

KENNY: Oh, God, this brings it back.

HE LAUGHS

Greatest days of my life.

I thought you were here for, like, a week? A month.

You hang in here, Skye. Remember what I told you about my regrets.

You've definitely told me your regrets, Uncle Kenny. Aye.

Your mum called.

Said you're in a bit of trouble.

What's the problem?

Your girlfriend's job.

We don't discuss our work. Too much conflict.

There's plenty that comes across my desk that has tested that policy,

I'm sure it's the same for her, and we've never had a problem.

I've been selling weed.

For Christ's sake, Skye! Why would you do that?!

Cos I didn't fancy graduating with 40 grand of debt.

I suppose it gave me a way in, with the others.

Where did you get it?

Did you hear about last night, at the flats? Yeah.

That was your sister's new man.

Right. Er, she didn't mention that bit.

He got me the weed.

I sold it, he passed on the money.

Except it turned out that he didn't pass on the money.

When they chased us for it, he reckoned we could scare them off.

I think it's fair to say that didn't work.

How much do you owe?

20 grand. HE SIGHS

I don't have it, pal.

There's this whole price war on wills kicking off...

If you had it, I wouldn't take it.

This is for me to sort out.

Who do you owe?

There's not many people I know who deserve more than they've got

out of life, Uncle Kenny, but you are one of them.

And I don't want to be the cause of you losing what you have.

I'm not losing anything.

Tell me who you owe.

Duck out this way, boys.

Good luck, Max.

Which one's in charge?

The good-looking one.

That's inappropriate.

No point denying it.

What was that?

Could be nothing.

Could be everything.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to find out who you owe...

...cos it's not them.

And you're going to go back to the university

and you're going to stick it out.

I know that's not easy, I know that place offers

an unusually high percentage of bellends,

but our family's going to produce one person

who has a chance at a good life.

And, as mental as this sounds, that's fallen on you. OK?

Thanks, Uncle Kenny.

What will she do to you?

Nothing, I'll sort it.

And I wouldn't excuse yourself entirely from proceedings.

I'm not involved!

Well, you're an involuntary passenger in the back of a van.

You're involved. See, every time I think you're done

destroying my life, you find a way to make it worse.

Have you ever considered that you might be partially responsible?!

You would have ruined me, just to give yourself half a chance!

What would you have done

if I'd told you I was fraudulently raising capital against the pub?

I don't know. Yes, you do.

You'd have panicked. You'd have confessed.

It's not impossible that you would've soiled yourself.

I was going to split the money with you, Jake!

And if you'd let me explain, if you'd come to me instead of her,

then maybe we wouldnae be sitting here now.

If we hadn't hit Walter, we wouldn't be sitting here right now!

I'm not going to dignify that with an answer

other than to say you hit Walter.

How's that not an answer?

You hang on to things, don't you? You let 'em get inside you!

It's not healthy. I'm not the only one who does that.

I'll sort it!

Well, if you do, then I'm off.

First chance I get.

Let's hope you get the chance.

You're looking well. MAGGIE CHUCKLES

The wonderful thing about dementia is

you can forget you ever had it at all.

And then you throw in a wee bit of physiotherapy and, well,

I feel 20 years younger!

And I need to be.

You left us with nothing, Max.

We've had to be creative. We've had to work hard.

Lots to do and only me to do it.

Can I just clarify that I'm... I'm...

...I'm not involved in this... You're involved.

This is a mistake.

Let me help you rectify it. MAGGIE SCOFFS

Forgive my impertinence, but a man who flew into Edinburgh

carrying all his worldly possessions in one bag doesn't strike me

as having an enormous amount of leverage.

I know what you are. You always did.

And it didnae help you much the last time, now, did it?

Well, things change.

No' much.

I've always loved it down here, in the Borders.

Cos of the Reivers. You'll know about the Reivers?

They ran the border for hundreds of years...

...riding out of the mist, stealing whatever they wanted,

slipping away.

They were ghosts.

They weren't English, they weren't Scottish,

they were something in between.

So I thought it was a good place for me to come, Max...

...seeing as I'm a ghost...

...seeing as I'm not dead and I'm not alive.

I'm something in between.

The police said you were dead.

The police said I was missing, presumed dead,

which isn't hard for a man like me to arrange.

You gave me a great gift.

You gave me a chance to rebuild.

You gave me a tactical retreat.

You knew my dad.

They killed your brother.

You know about dads, Maxie.

In prison, I heard you cry for yours.

Let us go, Roy.

MAGGIE LAUGHS You were always ambitious.

I know a lot about your money, more than you think I do.

Why do you think you're here?!

You tried to kill me, Max.

You tried to ruin us.

And you cost me my daughter.

That can only end one way.

But in better news...

...it will be quick.

It knocks out a bull.

But it'll do worse to you two.

PHONE BUZZES

The police are outside.

Take Maggie over the fields, I'll draw them away.

Nothing changes.

Roy...

...whatever's needed.

That was extremely vague.

Could have meant anything, that. Shut up.

Why don't you go now? We'll say you weren't even here.

Sit down. This isn't loyalty.

This is stupidity!

This is staying on a sinking ship when the captain's run for shore!

Go! Now, run.

Do a little bit... HE SIGHS

You can be free.

You can have a new life away from this bullshit,

away from the Lynches.

LIQUID SPLASHES

HE SCREAMS

It's sheep dip, Max!

It's chemicals! HE SCREAMS IN PAIN

I've blinded him! Well done.

I'm sorry, big man! HE GROANS IN PAIN

I know it sounds daft, but... can you blink it out?

Let's go!

Try blinking it out!

MUSIC: Drug Train by The Cramps

Armed police!

♪ Going to Plasteredville Anyville and Miltown... ♪

Police! Stay where you are!

♪ We're on this drug train now... ♪

Stop, stop!

♪ We're on the drug train Have a nice day

♪ We're on the drug train Now watch me get on board... ♪

Come on!

♪ I used to know where I was going till I got on board the drug train

♪ I'm going to show you how... ♪ THEY GROAN

♪ To get on board

♪ You put one foot up

♪ You put another foot up

♪ You put another foot up and you're on board the drug train

♪ Hey, people... ♪

SIRENS BLARE

♪ I see Elvis with your mother on the drug train

♪ Sherlock Holmes looks for clues

♪ There's something to do on the drug train

♪ Sigmund Freud is slipping and sliding

♪ With all of your friends on the drug train. ♪

Hands in the air!

Hands in the air!

I'm Roy Lynch.

And there will be no Saughton for me.

Gun sighted!

GUNSHOT RINGS OUT

ENGINE CUTS OFF

DOOR OPENS

HE URINATES

ENGINE STARTS

Hey, what're you doing? Come back!

This could make your career.

Or ruin it.

I'm just saying, don't forget me.

Carol?

Bag that phone, get the data, bring it straight to me.

I won't forget you, Stevie.

Ma'am, you'll want to see this.

HE SIGHS

ENGINE STARTS

ENGINE STOPS, WINDOW ROLLS DOWN

Well? The debt's yours now.

It was him that nicked it. It's yours now.

And mine.

ENGINE STARTS

It's over.

Let's do the deal. Let's do it quick.

Where are we?

Where are we going?

If you want out...

...now would be the time to go.

Where are we going, Max?

We've got half a tank of petrol and the clothes on our backs.

We're going to the only place we can.

MUSIC: It's Thunder And It's Lightning by We Were Promised Jetpacks

♪ Sitting with the lights off Waiting for my brain to storm

♪ Trying to work things out

♪ It's thunder and it's lightning

♪ And it's all things too frightening

♪ I could barely see outside

♪ Your body was black and blue

♪ Been struck twice There's nothing new

♪ Your body was black and blue

♪ Been struck twice There's nothing new... ♪

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