Original subtitles

[soft upbeat music]

♪ ♪

It is not easy to dock a boat, you know?

Mm-hmm.

You know, once, my cousin bought

a pontoon for his lake house

even though he knew nothing about boats.

The first time he tried to dock it,

he nearly steamrolled over the entire landing.

- [chuckles] - But Javier,

he just makes docking look so easy.

Yeah, the ocean looks especially beautiful today.

[chuckles]

Sorry.

Didn't mean to be talking about how great

your ex-boyfriend is.

I'm sure he has many flaws.

Hey there.

Meet Natalie and Seth.

The Roses, yes.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

We're thrilled to be here.

This is long overdue.

I'm your host, Elena Roarke.

This is my associate, Ruby.

And it's a pleasure to meet you both.

And Ash is actually going to help you get settled in.

- Thank you. - Nice to meet you.

[polite laughter]

You know, while I meet with the Roses,

why don't you go ahead and sit down with the other guests?

I greeted them last night, and they are anxious to start

their fantasies.

I'm going solo.

Yeah, I'm fully briefed and up to speed.

Not nervous at all. - Congrats.

You'll be great.

I trust you.

Go.

[both chuckling]

The--the boat looks amazing.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a good day for it.

Not too choppy out.

- Yeah, yeah. - The forecast was--

You know, the weather was supposed to be--

This is excruciating.

It's torture.

Look, we're both on this island together.

Maybe we should try to be friends?

Oh. [chuckles]

Friends.

Friends.

- [mimics explosion] - [laughs]

[sighs]

[dreamy music]

♪ ♪

So, Seth and Natalie, tell me,

what can the island do for you?

[quirky music]

♪ ♪

This is just a fraction

of what I've put into my body in the last three years.

That's how long we've been trying to have a baby.

First we tried the usual way.

Then IUI, then medicated IUI, then IVF.

That's a lot.

I stabbed her so many times, I've lost count.

That sounded weird.

We moved out of the city and found the perfect little house

to start our family.

We were so hopeful about our future.

And so naive.

We just want a family.

You know, guys, you two are already a family.

Doesn't feel like it.

And the whole thing has put a strain on our marriage.

Even sex feels like work.

Our fantasy is to forget it all.

The pain, the stress.

Just want to be free of it for a little while.

We want to be us again.

Yeah.

I understand.

[cork pops]

Ah!

Where did those come from?

Magical island.

Let's start with a toast.

Look at that.

With all the trying, I haven't had a drink in years.

We're on Fantasy Island, babe.

Indulge. - [chuckles]

Here's to the two of you.

[glasses clink]

[magical whoosh]

[soft bright music]

- Oh, my God. - [laughs]

This is delicious.

I'd forgotten how much I love champagne.

I haven't had it in forever.

Wait, why is that?

I have no idea.

[laughs]

Well. [laughs]

That's going to change, starting right now.

May we?

Oh, be my guest. [laughter]

Let the relaxing begin.

And I hope you enjoy your fantasy vacation.

Thank you. [laughter]

♪ ♪

Welcome to Fantasy Island, Vivian and Lou.

And congratulations on your retirement.

Kind of feels like you're playing hooky, doesn't it?

[laughs] You've got a few decades before you get there.

But... yes, kind of.

Mm-hmm.

[chuckles]

So what can the island do for you?

My fantasy is to get a hole-in-one.

Oh? That's on my bucket list.

I've been a golfer for 40 years.

I've never gotten one.

Well, I bet you'll get one now.

[laughs]

And you, Vivian?

Well, I had this vision for years.

It's what kept me going through countless loads of laundry

and endless boring staff meetings.

I'd imagine myself sitting under my favorite tree.

It's a gorgeous tree. The highlight of our backyard.

The kids would be grown, the work would be done,

and I'd finally get to just sit,

drinking iced tea and reading "Gone Girl."

Oh, I loved that book--

Stop. I don't want to know the twist.

Oh.

I bought this book back when it came out,

and I never had time to read it.

I've spent over a decade now avoiding spoilers.

Mm. [chuckles]

Just help me understand, you know.

Why do you need the island's help for that?

My tree?

It's gone.

Our neighbors killed it.

They're building a pool. Tore out the root system.

My dream is a stump.

I'm sorry to hear that.

And we do not judge fantasies here.

But I do have to ask--

are you both sure this is what you really want?

We transform lives.

Is getting a hole-in-one

and reading a book under a tree

really going to accomplish that?

It's what we want.

All righty then.

Come with me. [chuckles]

♪ ♪

both: [gasp]

Oh.

It's our backyard.

In a sense.

There's even iced tea. [both chuckle]

Oh, and Lou, those are for you.

I think you'll find the driver especially remarkable.

Happy retirement.

[gasps]

[laughing]

- Oh. - Yes.

My tree! [laughter]

[both sigh]

- Wow. - That was amazing.

Oh, my God, talk about next level.

[laughing]

More champagne. [grunts]

Yes.

Yes, please.

Oh, the champagne.

[laughs]

[sighs]

[dance music playing over speakers]

[volume increases]

♪ ♪

Do you remember this song?

Hell, yeah, I remember this song.

[laughs]

♪ ♪

This song is everything!

This was our jam.

We just started dating, hitting the clubs.

Just you and me, you know? - [laughs]

Yep.

[humming]

You always had the better moves.

Ah, yes.

Thank you.

Mmm. - ♪ Too many to count ♪

♪ Too many, too many... ♪

What's this?

[magical chimes]

♪ ♪

We got a gift bag.

Oh, my God, this place is the best.

I know, right?

♪ ♪

Mm.

It's strawberry.

Uh-oh. Strawberry kisses, my favorite.

Mm.

Mm, it smells good.

- [laughs] - Where you going?

Don't tease me. [laughs]

[music playing faintly]

♪ ♪

[chuckles]

[sighs]

[music intensifies]

♪ ♪

[sighs] You hear that?

[chimes]

Lou!

This baby and I are going to have quite some time.

How is that noise not bothering you?

Oh, don't pay it any mind.

Just enjoy your book.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

♪ ♪

I haven't waited over 10 years

to sit here in peace for this.

♪ ♪

Viv.

Really?

- [sighs] - [stammers]

♪ ♪

They probably can't even hear us over that godawful noise.

Why don't we just take a walk on the beach?

I'm sure they'll be done by the time we get--

♪ ♪

- Seth? - Vivian?

- Lou? - Natalie?

What the hell are you doing here?

Tree killers!

♪ Keep it simple, sexy ♪

They killed our tree!

I see.

So the four of you are neighbors.

And as we've explained in person, in gift baskets,

and in emails, we did not mean to kill their tree.

Look, this is just so sad.

I loved our neighbors.

I mean, they became some of our best friends.

[scoffs]

Not that that always happens.

Well, it seems the island brought you here

to help you work through your differences.

I'm guessing your neighbors didn't have

an excessively smoky barbecue

that polluted a two-mile radius.

And they probably didn't manspread their garbage bins

all over your sidewalk.

All right, let's all agree to disagree, eh?

Can we just get new rooms?

Far from each other, please.

We're not moving.

- Actually, nobody's moving. - Why?

Apparently, your ability to fulfill your fantasies

is dependent on you resolving your neighborly disputes.

This isn't happening.

Is this happening? - It seems to be happening.

Why are you doing this to us?

I could argue that you've done this to yourselves.

[huffs]

[quirky music]

Eh.

Let's go.

[grumbles]

Keep an eye on those four.

I'd like for all of them to make it off the island alive.

[sighs]

[mellow Spanish music playing]

♪ ♪

Where's your wife?

Getting a massage.

Not that it's any of your business.

Relax, I come in peace.

- Could I help you? - I'm good for now.

I've got a brand new set of hollow body Tungsten clubs

in our room.

Yay?

I should be on the green right now

having the time of my life.

But instead, I'm here with you,

trying to bury the hatchet

because I think you deserve another chance.

I deserve a chance?

Seth, you've been awfully rude to my wife.

- The usual? - Hey.

I've been rude?

[scoffs]

- Here you go. - My wife saw your wife

move a roadkill squirrel onto our lawn.

That was a hard day.

Our tree had just been cut down thanks to you.

Mm-hmm.

[clears throat]

[tense music]

Can you stop doing that, please?

As soon as Vivian apologizes.

- [scoffs] - Bygones can be bygones.

[laughs]

You want Vivian to apologize?

Yeah.

A simple "I'm sorry" will suffice.

♪ ♪

My side, your side.

Don't cross the line.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I don't know what's going on with you two,

but let's take it down a notch.

Over-waterer.

Newspaper thief!

[grumbles]

Or not.

[mellow music]

♪ ♪

[sighs]

Can't you take a hint?

I came here to get away from you.

I know you don't believe me,

but we truly had no idea our pool construction

was going to affect your tree.

Then you're a moron.

All I know is, I can't have my tree,

you can't have your pool.

What do you mean we can't have our pool?

I'll file injunctions till the end of time if I have to.

Injunctions?

That's why your construction stopped.

Seth told me it was a supply chain delay.

[chuckles] Then he's lying.

Your pool's not delayed.

It's dead.

Now, I'd like to get back to reading the book

I've been looking forward to for the last 10 years.

Wow.

I guess you won.

We should probably just accept our pool project is dead.

But you know who's not dead?

The main character in "Gone Girl."

She's not even missing. She set the whole thing up.

[gasps]

Enjoy.

[exhales]

I just don't get it.

How could you not tell me about the injunctions?

I guess I didn't want to stress you out,

but I don't remember why.

I'm not some Victorian housewife.

We're partners. - Oh, we're great partners.

I'd like to know when I'm getting sued.

Hey. You are absolutely right.

And I'm really sorry, babe.

Mm-kay.

Mr. and Mrs. Rose, right this way.

Thank you.

- Oh, God, no. - Ugh.

[magical chime]

- Table for four. - No.

This is a mistake.

This is for you.

It's from Elena Roarke.

"Since ancient times, breaking bread together

"has resolved conflict and fostered connection.

May you continue the tradition."

Really?

We're here. Might as well eat.

OK.

Well, there's one thing we can all agree on.

We love our neighborhood.

I will not disagree with that statement.

Sure.

When we were in the city, we never even knew our neighbors.

Same.

You were in the city?

Before we bought our house, like you.

Mm-hmm.

When we moved in, our neighbors brought us cookies.

Just like I did for you.

Of course, I didn't throw their cookies in the garbage.

[chuckles] - I can't eat gluten.

Were you spying on us?

You could have at least brought the basket back.

[chuckles]

That's when I knew you were terrible neighbors.

You know what?

It was an ugly basket.

All right, that's enough.

You know what else is ugly?

The two lion statues on either side of your driveway.

Newsflash--you're not the New York Public Library.

That's it.

I've had it up to here with your bad manners.

It's good that you can't have kids.

The world doesn't need anymore people like you.

I'm a good neighbor. You're bad.

Why did you say we can't have kids?

Why did he say that? - What are you talking about?

- They're infertile. - No, we're not.

Wait.

Are we?

Oh, my God.

We are.

That's why we're here.

We were trying to forget how hard it's been.

And you ruined it.

You ruined our fantasy!

You jerk!

- Oh! - You did not just do that.

Oh! - Oh!

[laughs]

You think that's funny?

Yeah, I think it's hilarious!

[exclaiming]

- [screams] - [screams]

Oh!

Hey!

How's it going?

[grunting]

Oh.

Not good.

They still have plenty of time for kids.

But my tree is gone.

We lost a living thing

just because they wanted a watery death hole.

Well, some people say a watery death hole.

Others say puddle of summer fun.

[scoffs] Tomato, potato.

Two nightshades.

We can't let them ruin our fantasies.

[gentle music]

You should try that driver.

Get that hole-in-one.

[chuckles]

Kiss for luck?

You look cute with that egg on your face.

Oh. [laughing] Get out of here.

I want a do-over on this whole shebang.

It was so nice not remembering.

Now it's back--

the dread,

the relentless disappointment.

I remember now that's why

I didn't want to tell you about the injunctions.

I didn't want to stress you out more.

I get it.

Wasn't it great, just being us again?

Hey, we're still us.

We are always us.

- [grunting] - [laughs]

How the hell did our neighbor know about our baby making?

And do they always go through our trash?

I wouldn't put it past them. They're so nosy.

[mellow music]

♪ ♪

[brakes squeal]

Natalie?

Despite everything, I thought you were my friend.

Excuse me, I'm trying to get to the green.

Whatever else was going on,

we had our secret Sunday golf game.

Yeah, well, there is a difference between

being golf buddies and being friends.

I confided in you.

And you let her file injunctions against us

knowing we were going through the hardest time of our lives.

How could you? - Just calm down, kiddo.

Don't call me kiddo. And don't tell me to calm down!

You ruined our fantasy.

Well, you're ruining ours.

There's a hole-in-one waiting for me out there,

and poor Vivian has barely had time to enjoy her tree.

Wait.

The tree?

We came here for relief from the devastation

of watching our entire vision of our future fall apart.

And you came for a tree and golf?

Don't judge our fantasies.

Oh, I'm not going to judge them.

I'm going to destroy them.

What are you do--hey!

What are you doing? Hey, those are mine!

Oh, no, you don't.

Oh, hi!

Uh-oh.

Oh!

Hey! Maybe slow down?

[shouts]

OK.

Double uh-oh.

No, no, no.

Friends.

We're friends.

Uh-oh.

[quirky music]

Sit.

OK.

Hydrating.

Always good.

Can't be too hydrated.

♪ ♪

Why is this so hard?

I feel like I don't even know how to talk to you.

I think it's because we're trying to go back to being

just friends, and the truth is, we were never just friends,

you know?

Sorry, um, Elena?

We have a problem.

[bangs on door]

[sighs] You are not welcome here.

Where are you going?

To your precious tree.

Hey! What are you doing?

Stop!

[breathing heavily]

If I don't get my fantasy... - [gasps]

You! Don't! Get! Yours!

You wouldn't.

Oh, I would.

[chainsaw buzzing]

Whoa! Hey, hey, what the hell--

whoa.

No!

What are you doing?

- Put that down! - Stop.

And not a word.

The island has given you ample opportunity

to resolve your differences, and you have failed to do so.

So we're going to try a different way.

Whoa.

I was not expecting that.

Now, sit your asses down. We're going to finish this.

Seth and Natalie. Vivian and Lou.

Clearly, you are unable to remain neighbors.

- Agreed. - Damn straight.

But we're not moving.

Well, if you think we are, you're high.

Well, since you can't decide on your own

which couple will move, the island will decide.

But be forewarned, the decision is binding.

Let's begin.

All rise.

Island justice is now in session.

The case of the Hutchinsons versus the Roses.

Island justice?

It's good, right? [chuckles]

Vivian and Lou, you're going to present your case first.

Mm-hmm.

The rest of you, please be seated.

We're not lawyers.

The island will help with that.

[sighs]

Let's start with exhibit A.

Do you recognize this?

Wait.

Wait a minute.

Is that... [gasps]

Yes, it is.

Your Honor, if it please the court,

de facto, this is, inter alia...

This is a branch from our tree that Teddy used as a wand.

[chuckles] That's right.

One summer, our son was obsessed with being a wizard.

He'd collected all the tree leaves

to make potions because he said the tree was magic.

Objection!

It's a twig.

I don't see the sine qua non to render an adjudication.

Nice, babe.

Thanks.

Overruled.

Exhibit B, please.

A rock.

How is that helpful?

It isn't just a rock, Your Honor.

This marks the spot where we buried our dog,

Pepper, under the tree.

Pepper was with us for almost 20 years.

We got him when our oldest was just a baby.

Never have a baby and a puppy at the same time.

But the kids grew up with him.

They loved him.

Your Honor, what is the relevance here?

Well, these objects are all pertinent

to their relationship with the tree that you killed.

Objection.

Prejudicial.

You can't object to the judge.

I planted that tree for Viv the first year we moved

into that house 30 years ago.

Now it's just a stump because they wanted a dumb pool.

Which is why we decided to file

the injunction on the grounds of res ipsa loquitur.

- Mmm. - Not bad.

That's perjury.

Lou doesn't make any decisions in your home.

Excuse me?

The only decision he ever made was to marry you,

and you haven't let him make another one since.

Hearsay.

But that isn't true.

Is it true, Lou?

I-- [gavel thumping]

Order.

Order in, um--

[whispering] Island.

Island justice.

Let's move to exhibit C, please.

Oh.

That's our son Peter's pocketknife.

He got it when he was an Eagle Scout.

Remember we used it that New Year's Eve

to carve all our initials into the trunk?

Yeah, and Teddy started crying

because he said we were hurting it.

I miss it.

It's not just a tree, is it?

Uh-uh.

It's all of it.

They're all grown up.

[crying] I miss all of it.

You never talk about this stuff.

Because it's too painful, Lou.

[sobbing]

That can't be real, right?

Maybe they're crocodile tears.

It seems to me like Vivian's anger

was covering up a whole lot of sadness.

[sobbing continues]

They really turned on the waterworks.

We gotta do the same.

We'll just tell the truth.

Oh.

[indistinct whispering]

[clears throat]

All rise.

Court is back in session.

Oh, that's really not necessary.

- Oh. - Seth and Natalie.

You're up.

I call your attention to exhibit one for the Roses.

That's not ours.

It's mine.

From when I was a baby.

I object.

Baby hats are adorable, and therefore manipulative.

Motion to strike the baby hat.

Motion denied.

My mom saved it for our future baby.

It's green, so she said it wouldn't matter

if we had a boy or a girl.

I didn't think we'd end up with neither.

But we haven't given up hope.

It's why we started building the pool.

If you build it, they will come.

And with so many disappointments,

we needed to focus on something positive.

We were manifesting future pool parties for the kids.

Family barbecues.

Birthday celebrations.

They robbed us of that.

That is a mischaracterization.

Our backyard is a torn-up mud pit.

It caused even more anxiety...

Which doesn't help when you are trying to have a baby.

Let's go to exhibit two.

[gasps] Oh, those are lovely!

Oh, yeah. We had a set just like them.

- Us too. - Oh.

We got these from Maria and Steve

when they bought their house.

And Vanessa and Amy too.

Everyone just started moving to the suburbs.

Having kids.

Felt like the next step.

Because you wanted it to be,

or because you felt it should be?

Your Honor, my wife wants kids

more than anything in this world.

Objection. That's a lie.

What are you talking about?

You're the one who wants to have kids so much.

Natalie just doesn't want to disappoint you.

You're the liar.

And I'll remind you, you're still under oath.

And how would you know that, anyway?

- She told me. - She told you when?

[sighs]

During one of our Sunday golf games.

You golf with him?

He's a surprisingly good listener.

Yeah, you'd have to be with a wife like that.

But to golf? With him?

I didn't know about the injunctions then.

I thought you played golf with Arthur.

I do, just not on Sunday.

She golfed in college.

And--and doesn't she remind you of Abby?

Our daughter?

She really improved my game.

Exhibit three, please.

[laughing]

Honey, these are the matches from that diner

where we had our first date.

It was a great date.

Yeah.

We got our first place two blocks from there.

Not big-- - But big enough.

We didn't need a lot of space. [chuckles]

Ah.

We had the city.

And each other.

And our dreams for the future.

[soft music]

It's OK.

It's OK.

Hm.

Well, how about that?

Sounds to me like they want what you had.

♪ ♪

Please stand.

The island is ready to render a verdict.

But on Fantasy Island,

verdicts are not delivered in the usual manner.

In this case, each couple gets one stroke.

Whoever gets closest to the hole will stay in their home.

Lou, this is your hole-in-one.

The island chose us.

It's not fair.

A hole-in-one is his fantasy.

Look, I'm sorry, but you agreed.

Natalie and Seth, you go first.

Hey, hey.

Come on, babe. You got this.

[exhales]

♪ ♪

[wind whooshes]

[laughs]

Babe! - Good.

Babe!

That was one hell of a shot.

That was a good shot.

Very good.

Lou and Vivian, you're next.

[magical gleam]

♪ ♪

[sighs]

Natalie and Seth, you win.

[upbeat music]

[laughter]

♪ ♪

[sighs] I can't believe they threw the game.

We get our house, the pool, no more annoying neighbors.

I should be happier.

I know.

Same.

What did Lou mean when he said

I'm the one who wants kids so much?

It's not a bad thing.

I remember you talked about it on our first date.

Yeah.

That's because you were so awesome,

I wanted you to take me seriously.

So...

do you not want to have kids?

[soft music]

I mean, I--I did.

But now--

You don't know?

Same.

It was so nice to let the whole thing go.

Sometimes it felt more like a goal than a real wish.

Something you do just because it's what you do.

It's the logical next step.

Unless... it isn't.

Unless it isn't.

I just know if I have you,

I have everything I need.

Like Roarke said,

we're already a family.

♪ ♪

I love you.

And I love you.

[sighs]

It's a beautiful tree.

It's been a beautiful life.

It still is.

Now they deserve their turn. - [chuckles]

We made the right decision.

And we made it together.

[chuckles] Well, Natalie's right.

I do let you make all the decisions.

But it's not fair.

You know I like it that way.

But not all the time.

I could have piped up.

But it was easier to step back and let you carry the burden.

I'm not going to do that anymore.

Well, honey, I--

I need to give you more space to weigh in.

Well, I'm going to pipe up right now.

Oh.

Go crazy. - [chuckles]

Here's the thing.

Are we going to spend the rest of our lives remembering?

Or are we going to spend the rest of our lives living?

Go on.

I'm listening.

Well, I'm thinking,

let's get an RV.

I like this decisive you.

[chuckles]

Honey. Yes.

[knocking at door]

[grumbles]

Mind if we come in?

Please.

Out by the tree.

[humming]

♪ ♪

[sighs]

You OK?

Yeah.

Yeah, I just haven't heard from Isla.

You know, I thought we had something special.

Hey, Ruby.

I'm so sorry.

Well, can't catch a butterfly.

Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Rose, Mr. and Mrs. Hutchinson.

I wasn't expecting you to travel back together.

Is it my imagination,

or are you all being friendly with each other?

Well, we've reached a truce of sorts.

An understanding.

You were right.

The island knew what it was doing.

So you're all staying in your homes?

Uh, actually, none of us is. [laughter]

We are moving back to the city.

It may sound strange after everything, but...

we realized we might not want to have kids.

In a few years, if we decide we do,

then there are a lot of ways to grow our family

that don't include more shots.

And Vivian and I have already planned our first RV trip.

Lou decided that we should hit the road.

There's so much we haven't seen.

We've only been to 37 of the 50 states.

And when we're not on the road,

we're getting a condo near our grandkids--

preferably one near restaurants that we can walk to

so we can be like these two lovebirds.

[laughter] - Aww.

That's wonderful.

It's a new chapter for us, not the end of the book.

Don't talk to me about ends of books.

Oh!

That reminds me.

This is for you.

Thank you.

"The Couple Next Door"?

I promise it's super twisty.

Oh, Mr. Hutchinson,

your hole-in-one--

you didn't get to fulfill your fantasy.

Oh--none of you did.

But I think we all got something

more than what we came for.

And speaking of which, I want you to have this.

- Oh. - For your bucket list.

Oh!

Aren't you just the sweetest thing?

Thank you.

Everyone ready? Right this way.

- Okay. - Thank you so much.

- Of course. - Thank you.

Our pleasure. Safe travels.

Thank you so much.

- Thank you so much. - Thank you.

- Of course. - Yes.

- Take care. - Thank you.

You gotta try that out.

[laughs] Yes.

You know, just because we weren't friends before

doesn't mean we can't learn to be friends.

You might be right. Look at them.

If they can be friends, we can certainly try.

Absolutely.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

What?

Nothing.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be.

Enjoy.

♪ ♪

♪ Think it must be magic, yeah ♪

[magical whoosh]

[gasps] Whoo!

[laughs]

[laughs]

Oh.

Mm.

Damn, I love this island.

[dreamy music]

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