Original subtitles

You know, there's got to be something wrong with you

using your break time to balance your checkbook.

I can't enjoy life with this thing hanging over my head.

Yeah, but the mistake was in your favor.

Yeah, all 4500 bucks worth.

Anyone else would be considering a trip to Mazatlan

bone fishing included.

And the bank would be after their bones forever.

What you doing?

Is that your car?

Lost my keys. You know how it goes.

Want a ride?

'May we have your order, please?'

Yeah. Let me have a cheeseburger and some French fries.

'Yes, sir.'

Good deal.

Listen, you got any extra ketchup?

You want it, you got it.

Listen, man, you got it, and I want it.

Now, empty that cash register now.

The rest of it. Come on!

Give me some more.

Give me more. Give me some more!

Help! Police! Help!

Help! We were robbed!

'Please! Help!'

Help!

We were robbed!

LA 15, Mary 3 and 4 in pursuit of 211 suspect.

'Blue charger, GTO 799'

Northbound Lincoln Boulevard to the 405.

Request backup.

You had your chance.

Are you okay?

Hey, you alright?

I want that guy.

I want him real bad.

Glad you're okay.

Yeah, me, too.

I'd hate to have to sit this one out.

LA 15, Mary 4. 10-22 the pursuit.

We lost the vehicle due to a minor 11-82.

No injuries, no assistance requested.

'10-4, Mary 4.'

'Your green charger reported'

'stolen by Santa Monica P.D. 40 ago.'

That figures.

- Quite a driver. - Yeah.

Sure knew what he was doing when he tried to take us out.

Let's try to get this thing up, huh?

Alright.

'Next, please.'

- Sorry, I've to take my break.

If I don't go now, it'll throw the whole system off schedule.

'Next.'

Next, please.

- Hi. - Hello.

Uh, we have a problem.

There's $4,500 in my account that doesn't belong to me.

Well, that's what we're here for, Mr. Poncherello

to solve problems.

I told you.

What is your mother's maiden name?

Look here. Frank Poncherello.

You think I got a hold of this uniform

so I could come in here and give money back?

I'll be right back.

Well, Mr. Poncherello, I wanna sincerely thank you

for calling this to our attention.

I'm afraid that it would have been my job

to tear apart the computer input

and track down the missing $4,500

and I can assure you, I have enough problems as it is.

What are good guys for?

Yes.

'You may not realize it, but an error'

as small as 6 cents can throw us into a turmoil for weeks.

We're all settled up, then, right?

Yes. Just leave everything to us.

Right. Gotta run.

Uh-huh. Thank you.

Next, please.

'Richard "Sonny" Matson.'

'Released from Vacaville 3 days ago'

'finishing up a 3 to 5 for assault and armed robbery.'

In the trade, he's known as the best getaway driver there is.

Yesterday we heard that rehabilitation

didn't take with Matson, so be alert.

Don't worry.

'Okay, up and at 'em.'

Oh, Frank, could I see you a minute, please?

Yeah.

Yeah, sarge?

Frank, I got a phone call

from your apartment manager.

- Yeah.

It seems that your, uh, rent check..

uh, in his words, bounced like a wiffle ball.

Oh, that's impossible.

Well, the bank said insufficient funds.

Oh, that's simple, sarge.

When the bank found the mistake yesterday

something must have just happened.

'Must be a computer error, sarge.'

When I gave them back their 4,500

they must have just kept on chewing.

That's right. That's right. Force of habit.

Oh, right. Just so I don't get

any more of those phone calls, Frank.

Well, it's me versus the machine.

Hey, I'm right behind you all the way, partner.

Uh, Sonny Matson?

Only my friends call me Sonny. You're late, pal.

I was held up in traffic.

- It's a very nasty habit. - Well, yes, right.

In your profession, I guess you're sensitive

to that sort of thing.

Dyle, you got something to talk to me about?

- Come on. - I sure hope so.

I was told by a mutual friend

that if a man wanted to go from one place to another

under difficult circumstances

that, um...you're the fellow to see.

Our friend may have been right

but you have to have a ticket to ride.

Do you mind if I lay out the job for you

before we hassle over the cut?

Alright. I like everything I see.

I could make a few changes

as a matter of personal preferences.

Now, how do you know there's gonna be

so many cookies in that jar?

- Ah. - Ah.

The...store's big number is cashing paychecks.

The cookies will be there. Don't worry.

Alright, I'm in, 50-50.

Ha ha ha!

Yeah.

Hey, get out of my car.

They called the police. Let's go get him. Come on.

You got it.

Okay, hold it right there.

- Alright.

Couple of guys chasing his stolen Mustang

ran right up the ramp and into the van.

- Thief is Matson.

Yeah. They got a real good look at him.

It was Matson, okay.

- Catch you later. - Yeah, alright.

Well, looks like Mr. Matson is setting up for business.

Yeah, and you can be sure of one thing

next time he's gonna go for more than a burger stand.

Hey, come back when you got an appointment.

- Sonny!

- You old..

- Alright.

Long enough to know I've still got my touch, baby.

- Hey! - Oh, you been tooling up.

A man's got to make a living, baby.

Same old Sonny.

I got some new threads. Nothing heavy.

What's it gonna be? Want new paint?

- Hmm..

- Hmm. - Name it.

I was thinking maybe some new torsion bars

and maybe a little magic on the carburetors, huh?

We'll give you an edge, Sonny, don't worry.

Me worry? It's not my style.

Thank you.

- Uh, no big thing.

Just something wrong with my account. Here.

Oh, not again.

Yeah. I don't know what keeps happening

but a couple of my checks have bounced

for no reason at all.

Ah, here we are, Mr. Poncherello.

You're overdrawn, and you've exceeded your overdraft limit.

Now, wait a minute.

I'm the guy who just gave back 4500 bucks.

Actually, you should be talking to Mr. Burns.

He'll be back from lunch in 11 minutes.

Why can't I talk to the manager?

I'm sorry. Ms. Rogers is at a meeting right now.

Looks like you're stuck with me.

Who's complaining?

First we'll find the sum of your deposits.

then the sum of your returned checks.

'Then the sum of your outstanding checks.'

'Adding the two subtotals'

'and subtracting that from your deposits.'

That should give us your balance, minus

of course, fees and service charges.

That's funny. It balances out.

See what I mean? That's good, right?

It probably means a mistake has been

carried over from an earlier month.

Why don't you check your statements at home?

Why don't you check the old computer?

I did, and if you check your statements at home

I'm sure you'll find your mistake.

My mistake? Why not yourmistake?

I'll take it up with my supervisor. Have a nice day.

Thanks. It's getting better by the minute.

Next, please.

Hey, Ponch, I'm okay. Are you okay?

Yeah, except you still got money in the bank.

You can move faster than that.

- Yes, sir. - Show me!

Y-yes, sir.

That will do nicely. Thank you very much.

It's only rubber.

7 David in pursuit of 211 suspect

'gray Mustang, eastbound on national at 40th.'

15, 7 Mary 3 and 4 responding from 91 overpass.

7 David. 211 suspect heading West on Slauson from 10th.

They're headed in our direction. We'll intercept at Burlingame.

Come on, baby. Closer. Closer.

Mary 3. We have an 11-82 Westbound Van Awlen.

Request paramedics and wrecker.

'10-4, Mary 3.'

'Rolling 11-41, 11-85.'

- Yeah. It was him, alright.

He even smiled at me.

He's a nice guy, but he's a psycho.

Yeah.

It was a real slick job

stopping short of that bus.

Hey, whatever it takes.

I just want to see his smiling face one more time.

You got company there. Come on.

Clear the decks. We can eat now, right?

Oh, I have been over your statements for the entire year

and I haven't found a thing.

Oh. I was hoping that if I went out

and came back after a while everything would be okay.

We did find something funny, though, Ponch.

You have a balance that grows a few dollars every month.

Yeah, well, Ponch likes to round off to the nearest dollar.

It's easier on the arithmetic, you know what I mean?

Wait a minute.

I think I've got something here.

All your deposit slips are for 385

which match your deposit figures here

on your bank statement except for one

3 months ago, for 365.

Yeah, I remember.

Uh-huh. That was the time I took $20 cash.

The problem is

that none of your bank statements show this deposit.

You mean it's..

..their mistake!

Oh, Bonnie!

Bonnie, love, you deserve the first slice.

Good.

Oh, real good.

- Oh. - Mmm.

Ponch, uh..

...it's alright. I can still read it.

- Alright!

Hey, I want some pizza!

'The 7:15 coach'

'to Fresno, San Jose, and San Francisco'

is now boarding on platform 24.

Last call for the 7:00 express bus to Sacramento.

Boarding on platform 9. Last call.

Hey, you're good. You know that?

You really are good.

Well, I know the cops know that I'm not afraid

to hurt someone in a getaway.

And I know they can't hurt anybody when they're chasing me.

- And you're cold, too. I'm professional.

Speed without wisdom will get you caught every time.

What's the next job?

Well, I've got some things that we can talk about.

Well, alright. Hop in.

Not in that.

Come on. Short ride. I wanna show you something.

Got this little routine that I'd like to use.

I haven't tried it in a long time.

I don't even like the way it sounds.

Relax. Suppose we just popped

that new bank you've talked about

every badge west of Pasadena chewing at our bumper?

Sounds like a good time to call your lawyer.

Maybe not.

Alright, what areyou going to do?

This.

Ha ha ha!

Are you crazy?

I am sorry, Mr. Perlman.

You see, there is nothing more I can do for you.

You do understand, I'm sure.

Have a nice day.

And what may I do for you, officer?

This statement is wrong.

Oh?

Oh, yes. Mr. Ponchelero.

'Your problem has been mentioned to me.'

Uh-uh. Your problem. This statement is wrong.

This deposit is missing

and I have a copy of a check

stamped and canceled by you, the bank.

Excuse the tomato sauce.

Of course.

Now, uh, Officer Ponchelero

may I call your attention to the notification

at the back of the statement

that if a customer does not bring to our attention

an error within 10 days

we, the bank, assume that the statement is correct.

Okay, the $4,500 I returned.

If I had kept that for 10 days

the bank would have assumed it belonged to me.

Is that right?

No.

No, you see, that isour mistake.

And so is this.

We both assumed the statement was correct.

It is not correct. I gave you back your $4,500.

All I want is my 365.

Of course you do..

...and we'll look into it but it does take a little time.

You do understand, I'm sure.

I'd like to see the manager now.

I'm sorry. Ms. Rogers is not in at the moment.

Excuse me.

Yes?

Mr. Burns, do you walk to work or drive a car?

Yeah. Um, I'll get.. I'll get back.

Well, perhaps in your case

since we do have the...evidence

so to speak, I will accredit your account immediately.

'I guess it really is the bank's mistake.'

We are, after all, human, too, Mr. Ponchelero.

Well, from one human to another

can I forget about all this for now?

Oh, yes, forget it. Just wipe your mind clean.

'I will take care of absolutely everything.'

'Accuracy and correctness are the hallmark'

'of this institution.'

If there is an error in either your favor or ours

we track it down, no matter how small.

Even 6 cents?

Yes, even 6 cents, certainly.

Is there something else I can do for you?

Yes. You can tell me to have a nice day.

Certainly. Have a nice day.

Hey. Look what I found.

That's it, alright.

'I don't remember it being so banged up.'

It's been rolled, partner.

- Sometime. That's for sure.

You know, he's right

it's seen a lot more action since we lost it.

A Sonny Matson getaway vehicle loses its blue book value fast.

Well, he rolled it and drove it some more.

I think I can shed some light on that.

Watch commander on "B" shift got a call from a lady

'who saw a car roll down the embankment onto Bayview drive.'

'Uh, that's not all.'

After it rolled, it took off

on the Residents' road on the shoulder below.

Yeah. What I really wanna know is, why?

'Hello!'

Cliff Hanson. What can I do for you?

How are you? Mind if I look under the sheet?

Oh, by all means.

Oh.

Be my guest.

'No, there aren't too many people who really appreciate'

'what a machine like this represents'

but let's face it what a joy it is

to drive a finely tuned performance vehicle.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

You know, I could see that the moment you walked up.

Well, I know it's fast..

...but is it agile?

Oh, it'll come out of a hole like this

just like a rabbit.

Sure like to hear it purr.

Ah. We haven't spared anything

on the interior, either.

There.

Just sit right in there.

Just sit there for a second.

Now, just picture yourself with this machine.

Day like today, heading North up the coast..

...just think about it.

Go ahead. Turn her over.

Sure.

Oh. Ha ha!

Ah, moonlight blue.

- Well, alright. - That's your color.

Man reads my mind.

Well, what about the engine in this?

Ehh..

you want me to squeeze a little bit more out of the mill?

I was thinking maybe, uh..

...something a little more in the takeoff department.

You wanna go the limit?

I've been looking for an excuse to use these.

'Jets.'

'J.A.T.O. units.

We'll do it.

You know, riding on those babies

there's not a cop alive gonna catch you.

Ponch, I didn't wanna say anything in there

but you remember that donation

you gave me for the children's health fair?

Yeah. What about it?

Well, the check came back, and I covered for you

so when you get back on your feet

maybe you can pay me, okay?

I was never off my feet.

It was a bank error.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

I just wanted to tell you the check came back, okay?

Uh, we'll take care of it, Harlan. Thank you.

How do you like that? I can't believe this.

I can't believe it, either. Now, wait a minute.

I mean, you had the bank eating out of your hand

and you beat the computer down to their knees, right?

Listen, it's too much to ask, I know

but will you go with me one more time?

Well, alright, if you take that red tape off your ankles.

Ha ha ha ha!

Well, alright!

I have never seen an exhaust system quite like that.

Well, I wouldn't worry about it.

You get the bucks, and I'll get us away.

I believe you.

You know, if I was a sensitive person

I'd take this as an insult to my driving.

I just want to be able to spell my name correctly

when I spend all that money.

Don't worry. I got a good feeling.

Come on, Baker. We're going to the top.

Yes. Well, that..

Uh...yes. Thank you very much.

Ms. Rogers, we have to talk.

Yes, officers? Is there something wrong?

Yes. My checking account.

Oh, I see.

I hope so, because there's a mistake here

that's been going on and on.

Well, we can't have that, can we?

Let me direct you to one of our officers.

I've seen all your officers.

Today, it's your turn.

First, you lose one of my deposit slips

so all my checks bounce.

I have to find your mistake.

You promise me it's A-Okay, have a nice day

and all my checks are still

beating the Russians into deep space.

Ahem.

Uh, have a seat, Mr. Poncherello and, uh..

Uh, Officer Baker.

He's with me. We'd rather stand, thank you.

To be sure. Um..

Jackie, would you please bring

Mr. Frank Poncherello's statement to my desk?

Thank you.

Well, here's your problem, Mr. Poncherello.

$86 in service charges

your special statement and your bad checks.

Hold it. Wait. My checks aren't bad.

Well, they bounced

and there is a five dollar service charge

for every check that bounces.

You do understand?

I do not understand.

The five dollar service charge is necessary

to prevent certain people from purposely

and repeatedly bouncing checks.

Are you saying that applies to me?

Ha. I'm only trying to clarify.

Okay, clarify it that I don't have to pay for service charges

for something that was your mistake.

Well, the difficulty is that the computer

has already deducted the amount from your balance.

Well, tell it to un-deduct it and put it back.

I'm sorry. Our terminal is down.

I'd have to go to the general ledger.

Go now, would you, please

because you already got me in trouble all over town.

- Hey, Ponch. - Not now, Jon.

'I'm sure not gonna pay the service charges'

'on something that was your mistake.'

We got Matson in his blue Camaro on our front door.

Here comes his accomplice.

Huh? Wh..

Stay down.

Call the police and report a 211 in progress.

You're making this up.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

These people have been waiting for quite some time

so if you wouldn't mind just going to the end--

Listen carefully, and nobody will get hurt.

I have here..

...an anti-personnel grenade.

The pin is pulled.

If anything happens to me..

...it will go off.

Fill the case, and pass it down the row.

- 'Come on, move it!' - Alright.

Last time was the fake grenade. You feel lucky?

Today's not a good day to ask.

Hurry! Move it!

- 'Come on.' - Alright.

Let's do it.

Move!

'Come on.'

I want it all.

You people back of me, move down! Now!

Move!

'Come on.'

- 'Hurry up!' - Alright, alright, okay.

I want it all.

'Hurry! Come on.'

Come on.

- 'Move.' - I'm hurrying.

Freeze!

I don't know where you came from, but freeze!

Hey, come on. It's only rubber.

Yeah. Maybe the walls in your cell, too, huh?

L.A., 7 Charles.

In pursuit, 211.

Suspect is Northbound on Adams.

'7 Charles.'

'211 Camaro is turning onto Bayview road Northbound.'

Bayview road. I got a hunch.

Let's play.

I'll see you the next time.

Yeah. Don't bank on it, huh?

Have a nice day.

Next, please.

Oh.

- Hi. - Hi, Mr. Poncherello.

Everything okay now? All the books are balanced?

Oh, absolutely, right to the penny.

We won't have any more trouble, I hope.

That's good.

I have here a paycheck for $405.06.

I'd like $20 cash and the rest in my checking account.

Alright. Uh, I'll just..

Oh, uh..

If you'll just excuse me for a moment..

Why?

Well, this is over my limit.

I could accept it for deposit but if you want cash

I'll have to get it approved by my supervisor.

I want $20 cash.

I know.

There you go. We're all approved. I can cash it.

Let me ask you something.

How can a check be over your limit

when I'm putting money in?

Well, every bank has its regulations, Mr. Poncherello.

Um, in fact, you know

there's a new bank that just opened down the street.

Have you ever considered transferring your account?

I've been so happy here.

Oh. That's nice.

Well, here you go.

Twenty dollars..

And let's see here

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 cents cash.

I only asked for--

Oh, and the rest is in your checking account.

And here's your checkbook.

Thanks.

Say, can I have an application

for your union credit card?

Oh, Mr. Poncherello, are you sure that you--

I just wanna fill it out and see what happens.

Alright.