Original subtitles

Honey, do you mind if I drive?

I'm alright. I'm alright.

Honey, one more drunk driving ticket

and you'll lose your license.

Denise, you're a regular guardian angel.

You get a whiff of that?

A 2-0, or I hang up my spurs.

Arthur, be reasonable, please.

Now, don't do this.

'Please, don't do this.'

LA 15, Mary 4.

Multiple 11-83 at Grant and Highland.

Roll 11-41, 11-85.

Back off, huh?

Yeah.

You alright?

Oh, my leg..

I think, it's busted.

Take it easy. Paramedics are on their way.

Oh, do something! Do something!

Take it easy. You're gonna be fine, alright?

Just take it easy.

Yeah, okay.

Keep him calm, will you?

- I-I..

I guess.

Oh. Thanks. I needed that.

Arthur Holmes, right?

Small world, huh?

Small for some people.

I don't know what happened.

Must have been the sirens and lights.

My wife's got a perfect driving record.

You must have confused her.

Turn around and put your hands on your head.

Hey, Baker, I'm sorry to disappoint you!

Yeah, well, that doesn't go for the both of us.

I'm arresting you for driving under the influence.

I wasn't driving.

You have the right to remain silent.

You have the right to call your attorney.

Why won't you believe us?

My husband was... had too much to drink.

That's why I was driving.

How did our wrong way dude score yesterday?

He won the scholarship.

Yeah. Would you believe point 28?

Oh, that's what I call self-embalmed!

Oh, well, with his record, the computer

ought to click him right off the road!

Yeah, may be.

Holmes' wife is sticking by her story

that she was at the wheel.

Oh.

This could be one of those dead to rights fish

'that got away, Jon.'

Well put.

"Theodore Stern, Esquire, counselor at law"?

Yeah, the one and only.

He's waiting to talk to you right now, this very minute.

We got a court date tomorrow, with a client of Stern's.

Yeah, Stan West leaving the scene of reckless driving.

Nuh-uh, he wants to jawbone about your report

on another guy, the wrong way driver.

Hi, fellas. How's it going?

Business as usual.

And a tough business it is, too.

In my book, motor officers are the elite.

Uh, you guys know that.

Listen, uh, Jon, I was going over

this arrest and accident report on Arthur Holmes

and I was wondering, you wanna change anything?

Nope.

Hey, come on.

I can sense the frustration you guys must feel

having to deal with these crazies every day, but--

Yeah, well, there are good days and bad days.

Honestly, Jon, you don't wanna go to court on this one.

I think your frustration has affected your judgment.

Arthur Holmes was driving.

Look, Art's had a little bad luck lately.

Another drunk driving conviction could mean his license.

Believe me, we know that.

Okay, okay, loud and clear.

I guess, this is what court is all about, huh?

As a matter of fact

we'll see you in court tomorrow on the Stan West case.

Hey, Frank, give me a break.

One day at a time!

You guys are awfully edgy today.

Innocent till proven guilty, remember?

Oh, right, and the guilty deserve

the best defense possible, right?

You're very retentive.

Yes, and the innocent don't deserve

you putting the chronic drunks back on the road.

Yeah, well, I wish I had time to debate

jurisprudence with you, Jon, but I got 20 minutes

to make Santa Monica court

and I don't wanna have to break any laws to do it.

Keep up the good work, guys.

They always smile when they're gonna play hardball.

Hey, Marcy! Marcy! Marcy! Woo!

- Hey, Marcy!

I need your trig homework!

She needs help on her trig!

Her trig for your French and chem notes?

Deal!

Good, good, good, good.

- Come on! - Oh, come on.

It's coming. It's coming.

Go faster. Fast go fast.

I got it!

Woo! Alright!

Hey, get the..

Oh, uh...okay.

Here you go!

'Whoa! Hold on!'

Ah, ha ha! Woo!

Never an energy crisis when you're a teenager.

Yeah, unless you have a letter on your sweater.

May I see your driver's license, please?

Sure.

I have a perfect record.

I mean, there's not even one ticket on that license.

Congratulations.

That's pretty good for two and a half weeks.

Look, I know what we were doing was looking dangerous

but, I mean, I'm an experienced driver.

I was in complete control.

Till I saw you.

- I believe you.

And that's what makes it so dangerous.

There's not a new driver on the road who doesn't think he's..

Excuse me.

She's living a charmed life.

It will never happen again.

Glad to hear it.

Is he always such a grouch?

You're lucky you caught him on a good day.

Thanks for nothing.

People vs. O'Brien, Romero, Clark, Sanchez

Hoff-Safian, King, Jamison, Cole, Harper, Lawrence

will be held in courtroom 204.

The aforementioned cases will be heard here.

I don't get it.

Excuse me, we're supposed to be here today

for the Stan West case.

Oh, yeah, the West case was granted

a last-minute continuance, attorney's request.

It will come up again next week.

Now, that is rich!

Officers!

Can I help you?

Uh, excuse us, your honor.

Stan! Ted.

Hi, hope you weren't inconvenienced

by that continuance, I mean, on such short notice.

No. I'll tell you the truth, I was a little curious.

Well, uh, let's just say it provided a needed lesson

for some CHIP friends of mine, yours too, I might add.

The pleasure's all mine.

Well, it was an easy matter, you know

because of your clean record.

Now, listen, we go on trial the 19th

so I want you to drive like Mr. Clean till then, okay?

I'm as good a driver as anybody.

Hey, all I'm saying is, another run-in

with the gens d'armes isn't going to help your case.

That's all I'm saying.

I told you at the start.

I'm not taking anything off anybody.

Yeah, yeah, I remember, okay?

But just, as your attorney

I wanna give you my best shot, okay?

Now that we're in the area, let's stop by the hospital

so I can verify the injuries for my reports.

Yeah, I need to check in for a little observation myself.

Partner, this is gonna take a while, so I'm gonna..

When you're through, you know, I'll be..

'Okay?'

You want one?

Well, they're beautiful but, uh

between me as parent and no parents at all

I think, they're better off just where they are.

So, what's happening?

Uh, Jon's here following up on some injury reports

and I'm here to say hi and when are we gonna get together?

I don't know.

With this new maternity ward they're building

our facilities are so disrupted

I honestly, haven't had time to think.

How about this weekend?

Okay. Call me.

And you know what?

I'll bet you'd be a good one.

All Getraer's note says is

"Deputy DA, JR, Dugan, requests you to drop in."

I don't remember crossing paths with Dugan.

Must be new in the office. Just wants to get acquainted.

Yeah.

Hi! Janice Dugan.

Hi, Jon Baker.

Frank Poncherello.

Hi, I'm sorry everything is such a mess in here

but my superior got kicked upstairs and..

...now I've got to get tuned in to all his cases.

And we think we have an ocean of paperwork.

Oh, you guys just make the first wave

and lucky me, I've inherited seven cases

prosecuting clients of Ted Stern.

Now, I know why you called us.

Arthur Holmes and Stan West?

Well, something is funny with the Holmes case.

Stern is taking it to trial in a hurry.

What does he know that I don't know?

Have you seen the record?

If we ace him this time, he gets to ride the bus, right.

That's right.

So, he and his wife pulled a switch routine.

Now, did you actually see the switch or surmise it?

Look, by the time we had checked for injuries

Arthur Holmes' wife was behind the wheel.

But, he was driving.

I observed him seconds, before the crash.

Oh, brother.

Stern is going to have fun with us.

Now, the question is.

Do we reduce or...go for nothing?

I say we take what we can get.

Wait a minute. Stern's trying to put him back out on the streets.

There's no justice in that

and I'm not serving the public unless I try to prevent it!

A trial will not be pleasant.

Who asked for pleasant?

Uh.

Why don't we talk about Stan West, huh?

Reckless driving and trying to leave the scene?

It's a first violation, right?

I can hear Stern now, clean record, frightened

fled the scene in panic.

Unless we give him some heat

we might as well tell him it's okay.

Look, arrest report is better than an accident report.

I hear you.

Uh, thanks a lot.

There's been an accident.

The construction crew has broken a gas main.

There will be an evacuation van at the east exit.

Crittenden Memorial. No siren, but make it snappy.

Burbank is ready for you.

Just call us the stork express.

Hey, buddy, come on! Move it!

Come on! You're blocking traffic!

Hey!

Next time, buddy!

Yeah, yeah, same to you, fella!

Uh, get some help. I'll see to the babies.

Anybody hurt?

No. Here, hold this one.

Yes, ma'am.

Oh, my gosh.

Uh..

15, Mary 5.

11-83, Eastbound Jefferson at Normandy.

11-41! 11-42! 11-84! 11-85!

Now, now, now.

Where did they come from?

This is an emergency transfer.

We had an...an accident at the hospital.

Here you go, Bonnie. Latch on to one.

They're so tiny! Whose are they?

No one. These are orphans and foundlings.

Can you get us some transportation?

We need to get them out of here.

Well, there's my cruiser

and Turner's right behind me.

Hey, listen, we're only five minutes from Central.

Why don't you have a hospital unit meet us there?

Good. I'll call in and tell Getraer.

No, hold it! Wait a minute!

Let's surprise him.

Excuse me!

Look, I've got a budding soprano here.

I think my alto will take your soprano any day!

Where can I put these?

Hey, how come she's got two and I've only got one?

'Well, here.'

I'll go check on our transportation.

Where can I put these?

Aren't they cute?

Hmm.

Sarge, a gas line broke at the hospital.

Jon, this situation is strange enough.

I don't think I wanna hear an explanation.

Harlan, will you put these things down?

- Right here.

No, no, no, no.

This is my favorite.

Easy.

Easy.

Well, hello there. What's your name, huh?

Harlan, he can't talk.

He can try.

We had to get 'em off the freeway, sarge.

Nice baby.

Come on, sarge, you know more about babies

than the rest of us.

Well, uh, there's no one foolproof way

to soothe a baby.

Now, take Jeb here.

'He's attempting the swinging approach.'

'Now, Baricza, the more traditional rocking method'

and, uh, Bonnie, is having little success

'with the ever-popular bouncy-bouncy technique motion'

and Jon's, uh, funny-face method will work sometimes

'and Ponch's TLC.'

But, when all else, uh, fails..

Huh?

Uh, yeah.

I try a little swaying motion.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. There we go.

You see, skate and sway, skate and sway, skate and sway.

Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh.

Yeah, I invented that trick.

Skate and sway, skate and sway.

It's working!

Skate and sway. It's Getraer method.

Okay.

'Mm-hmm.'

Okay. Fine, thanks.

Transportation will be here in about ten minutes.

Oh, great.

Listen, we'd like to talk to you

a little bit about, about the accident.

Oh, okay.

I think the car that hit us was cut off.

The guy that caused it all got away, and he was a real maniac.

What kind of car?

A T-bird, shiny, sort of silvery color.

Did you get a license number?

It was one of those personalized plates.

It started with B-A..

Oh, it had two A's, but not together.

B-A something A.

Like B

Yes, something like that.

- Could have been.

Yeah. Silver color fits.

Oh, it's him, man. You know it's him.

Reckless and leaving the scene.

Stan West.

Did the silver car hit your van

or was it some other car?

Oh, I don't know. It all happened so fast.

Okay, all we need is a dent

or a smudge of transferred paint.

' - Highway patrol.

Mr. West, I'm Officer Poncherello.

Yes. I remember you.

Is anything wrong?

There was a bad accident

at Pershing and Grant, a little while ago.

Oh! Was anybody hurt?

We have witnesses that state they saw your car there

'and leave the scene.'

Well, I just came in from Glendale.

I'm sure there's nothing wrong with my car!

Uh, it's clean.

Noncontact hit-and-run

with serious injury is a felony.

Look, whatever it was, my car was not involved!

But I'll be glad to cooperate in any way.

Well, that's reassuring, Mr. West.

Thank you.

What's that supposed to mean?

Come in.

- Hi, Jon. - Hi.

Well, I asked to have you call me.

Oh, yeah, I was passing by

and I noticed the light on in your window, so, uh..

- Um..

I wish you hadn't gone pressing Stan West

on that random accident.

'Ted Stern was in here threatening a complaint.'

Hey, now, wait a minute.

We had a partial description

that pointed directly at West.

We called on him. We did not press.

Can you prove that West caused it?

No, not yet.

Then lay off him, Jon!

Leaning on him at this point, for whatever reason

is only going to help Stern's posture in court..

...on a case that we already have.

Fine.

Jon!

Hey, look, Janice, nothing personal.

But, I'm just out there doing my job.

And I don't feel like apologizing for that.

Jon.

Do you wanna go out tonight or don't you?

Yes.

Alright.

May be we need a new department policy.

I mean, if I make an enforcement stop

perhaps I should say to the man

"May I please have the name of your attorney

"so I can ask for your driver's license?"

A bottle of Rubesco Riserva, please.

Look, I'm sorry, I called it a random accident

but even if Stan West is guilty

it's still a separate issue.

Oh, yeah, separate for you, maybe

and separate in the courts, but for us, no.

That's just fine, thank you.

But to us, it's the same guy

doing it over and over again

and you people keep putting him out on the streets.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait. Don't take it out on me.

I'm on your side.

Oh, no, I'm talking about Ted Stern.

Thank you.

Look, Jon, there's a fine line

between prosecution and persecution.

'We all stand on that line'

you, me, Ted Stern, the judges, the jury.

If I give Ted Stern the advantage of a technicality

he's gonna take it.

That's his job.

To defend to the best of his ability

whether or not I do my job well.

Artichoke salad, eggplant parmesan

and toasted ravioli, please.

Innocent until proven guilty.

Our system may have its faults

but, it is the best one going.

Well, listen, I agree with you

as long as it remains a system of laws

but when Ted Stern and technicalities take over

I mean, that's the day I turn in my uniform.

This is really good.

You know, I am so naive about wines.

How did you learn to order?

Well, it's no big secret.

Every expert has their system.

Mine is, when I want an Italian wine

I go to an Italian restaurant.

That's great.

- Here's to you. - Cheers.

What's the deal with this guy Stan West?

We arrested him, what, last month?

And we're gonna go to court on it soon.

No, no, I mean, what happened yesterday?

Oh, we, uh, followed the lead that took us to him

but, uh, might have hurt the cases pending, right?

Yeah, something like that.

The guy's wound too tight.

He does a Jekyll and Hyde act

when he gets behind the wheel.

Dr. Poncherello's theory?

Well, it fits.

It's some kind of a compensation

getting even with the world.

Did you say this guy drives a T

See? She thinks I'm right!

I didn't say that.

Yeah, silver color '78

personalized plates uh, "Balance," accountant.

Yeah, who thinks he's Mario Andretti.

I think I stopped that dude.

'Thin build, thick glasses?'

Yeah, but his name wasn't West.

Wait a minute. Who was telling me...Turner!

Turner was telling me a guy he stopped up

in the 7-B that was like that.

- Williams!

- Hi, sarge.

Uh, that's interesting.

The rest of it fits like a glove.

I could look it up, but I'm pretty sure

my stop's name is Williams.

That's funny. DMV said Stan West had a clean record.

Yeah, real funny.

Why don't one of you call Sacramento

and ask them to chew on Mr. West's identity?

- Wouldn't be the first time.

'After I arrested Mr. Holmes'

'I read him his rights, and then he was transported'

'to the Van Nuys station for a Breathalyzer test.'

And the results?

Well, he was tested twice as required by law

point 2-7, point 2-8.

Now, for the record, is that high?

Point 1-0 is drunk, legally drunk.

No further questions.

Officer Baker, would you say

it's harder to make an identification

of someone in a moving vehicle

or a vehicle that's standing still?

Harder in a moving vehicle.

Right. And harder still when you yourself are moving?

Depends on the circumstances.

Yet you maintain that Arthur Holmes

was driving the vehicle in question.

I do.

Would you tell us again who you saw behind the wheel

'when the car was standing still?'

Denise Holmes.

How do you explain that?

While my partner and I were checking for injuries

they switched places.

Oh, they switched places.

You saw them switching places?

I know what I saw before we began the pursuit.

I hope, you know, what you didn't see as well.

'Did you see them switching places?'

No.

No further questions, your honor.

Defense calls Denise Holmes.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to hurt anybody.

Now, Denise, I know this is very hard for you.

One more time, could you tell the court

who was behind the wheel?

I was.

'It was me driving.'

My husband had had too much to drink, and..

It was me. It was my fault.

Now, if the court pleases

in light of the overwhelming testimony

I think we can conclude that Officer Baker

made a serious mistake, and I ask for dismissal

of the charges against Arthur Holmes.

Counselor?

Your honor, the state is willing to drop

charges of driving under the influence

if the defendant will plead guilty to public intoxication.

Mr. Stern?

Your honor, client so pleads.

Arthur Holmes, please rise.

Court finds you guilty of public intoxication.

Fine $62.50.

Well, another case

that didn't make it through the fan blades.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Uh, Frank, Jon, it seems DMV is finding

your Stan West a slippery individual.

- Oh, more like radioactive.

CII, has a hunch he has a very creative way

of settling his traffic cites.

His license was clean. I made the call myself.

Stan West is an alias, the latest of..

Well, the total count's not in yet.

I wonder if Ted Stern knows

he'll be defending a master criminal.

Well, if he doesn't, I know a good time to tell him.

Go get him.

Jon! Hi, Ponch.

Glad I caught you.

I guess I, uh, just wanted to say..

...sorry we lost Arthur Holmes.

I try my best, but, um..

I guess Ted Stern bent that fine line

you were talking about, right?

Could be his client was innocent.

Hey, look, I'm always ready

to admit I'm wrong, when I'm wrong.

Well, then where are you coming from?

Oh, where am I coming from?

The pavement, the freeways

the madhouse out there

trying to save some lives.

But half the time when we go to court

somebody says that we're incompetent

or that we're untruthful or both

and this time the court believed 'em.

Jon, it isn't personal.

In court, no. It's all bloodless, abstract.

That's why you don't know where I'm coming from.

Wow.

I love you.

Uh, now, can we talk about the Stan West case?

Oh, can't we have a truce?

We may have a surprise for you.

Really?

Let's have it.

It wouldn't be a surprise

'if we told you, would it?'

Oh, come on.

Oh, you guys, come on!

Officer Baker, could you please tell the court

the findings of the DMV investigation of Stan West?

Stan West exists only on paper.

'Only on paper?'

Stan West is one of 22 aliases

the defendant uses in order to avoid prosecution

on at least as many code violations.

Uh, not in evidence!

Offered in evidence, your honor.

Stan West, Stanley Wesley

Wesley Jones, Carl Williams.

We get the picture.

Also offered are depositions

from a CII graphical analyst

and fingerprint experts

showing that all 22 temporary license applications

were filled out by the same person.

That man.

The state moves for an order to hold, um..

Eugene Stanley Eagleton, to the best of our knowledge.

So ordered.

The witness may step down now.

That's it! There he goes!

There he goes! Touchdown! What did I say?

What did I tell you? What did I tell you?

When defense caves in, the best breaks in the world

don't mean diddly.

I knew it.

What do you say? Time to go?

Oh, yeah, right.

Hey, everybody, we have to go.

Ah! Ooh.

- Ah. - Whoa.

Art, let me get you a cup of coffee. Just a minute.

No, thanks. Keeps me awake.

Oh, it's okay. I'm gonna drive.

Sure, honey. Ain't she a doll?

Terrific girl.

Thanks a lot. Bye-bye.

What did you embarrass me like that for in there?

Do we have to go through this over and over again?

Take it or leave it. Get in or walk.

Okay.

But tomorrow we're gonna go get some help.

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!

Victory, victory, that's our cry!

Rah, rah, rah!

Victory, victory, rah, rah, rah!

Hurray! V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!

Victory, victory, that's our cry! Woo!

Oh, no.

We're almost home, too.

Art, please!

This never happens to me when I'm alone, Denise.

Can't we just stop and face it?

You'd be proud of me then, would you, huh?

Hold back. He's gonna do something crazy.

Woo! V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!

Victory, victory, that's our cry! Woo!

Victory, victory, that's our cry!

15, Mary 3. 11-83 at Lincoln and Bayview.

Roll 11-41.

'Mary 3, 10-97'

'11-83 Lincoln and Bayview.'

'Rolling 11-41.'

'Wait.'

Huh?

- It's no good, man.

Leave me alone.

Hey.

Baby, can you hear me?

'Baby, baby.'

'Can you hear me?'

Denise, can you hear me?

Baby, baby.

Baby.

Mission accomplished.

They'll be so glad to get to their new home.

Now, they'll fuss and cry for a while, but..

Yeah. There we go, baby.

Skate and sway, skate and sway.

It's the Getraer method.

There we go.

Yeah.