Original subtitles

Just think, one of those guys could be President

of the United States, one of these days.

Yeah, if they ever get through pledge-week.

If we get through pledge-week.

Isn't Chris in that fraternity, this year?

Yeah, my son, you know, he spends

all of his time in class and the library.

'Real studious-type, you know. Scholarship winner.'

He helped me, uh, get my "A"

in Incan Civilization II, last term.

- Yeah.

Six more years of this and then I'm off to Machu Picchu, Peru.

Of course, right now, I'm off to the Harbor Freeway.

The Harbor Freeway or Indianapolis?

What kind of crack is that?

Well, we've been hearing some weird stories about you, lately.

Uh, uh, about your driving.

Like, how, overnight, you're in a class

with a pole sitter at Indy.

Well, how about it, left foot?

Any truth to the rumors?

The dean's car again.

Call it off. Pull it over.

- I can't.

Come on. All we're into was a prank.

And it's already getting out of hand.

Listen, I'm on probation.

They catch me, I'm expelled.

Better that, than dead.

I will be dead, if my father catches me.

Hold on!

I lose those thieves, I hold you responsible!

- Hey, Andy.

It quits on me just when I'm going good.

I could have got those jerks!

Andy, there's a nice paved street here.

You didn't have to fly off the embankment.

Oh, the Monday-morning quarterback.

I make one of the greatest moves of my career, he complains.

Why don't you come over tonight?

Throw a couple of steaks on the fire.

Alright, great. I'll bring the wine.

- And the girls. - One girl. You get your own.

Alright. I'll take a stab at it.

Hey, just the two guys I want to see.

Probably about that old piece

of pottery I showed him yesterday.

This whole building's probably sitting

on the lost city of the Incas

and now, we're going to have to move.

Grossie, do I kid you about your diets?

Whoops.

Hey, I want to..

...apologize to you two guys.

For, uh..

...yelling at you.

- Yeah.

You know, when I chewed you two guys out.

I...I want to apologize for that.

Oh, you just tried something and it didn't come off, that's all.

You weren't yelling at us.

Come on, Jon.

Don't treat me with kid gloves, huh?

Hey, look, all you did was suggest

that...maybe we, uh, Monday-morning quarterbacked you

and maybe, we did.

No, it wasn't..

...it wasn't what I said.

It was the way I said it.

And that's what I want to apologize for, see?

'Cause I was way out of line, and..

...and I'm really sorry for that.

- Sure, but-- - Hey, Jon, come on.

- Yeah.

I didn't know the guy was on the hook, I..

Apology accepted.

That's good.

...accept my apology.

- Hey, Chris, boy.

Hey, what a pleasant surprise.

What are you doing here

Figured I might as well see my

closest relative at least once, today.

What are you talking about? Aren't we going out for dinner?

Uh, Professor Dichter gave us a test today.

I'm spending the next couple of nights in the library.

Oh, boy. This Professor Dichter, what a martinet.

Hey, you-you guys know each other, don't you?

Does this mean that you're free to break

some bread with me and Jon?

- He sure is. - Okay.

Be at my place in one hour, okay?

I'll be there.

Can you give me a ride back to the campus?

- I-I took the bus down. - Yeah, sure. Come on.

How you feeling today?

Are you kidding? I feel great.

I'm on top of the world.

- Cancel the girls. - Cancel the girls.

What are they doing?

What are we sitting here for?

It's those Upsilons, man.

Let's go get them!

They're stealing the bird.

Hey, come on, dad. You're a cop.

Aren't you going to go after them?

You okay?

'It was just like chasing, uh, greased pigs at a county fair.'

I think I cracked a rib, laughing.

Just think, in years to come

that stunt will become a legend on Fraternity Row.

Yeah.

Even my no-sense-of-humor son's

'gonna get hysterical over with that one.'

What do you mean? Chris didn't think it was funny?

He thought I should have...gone after them.

Well, maybe you should have.

I mean, what if that helicopter would have

dropped that pledge or the statue?

Oh, sure, I can see me, in my economy four-banger

chasing some helicopter across town, huh?

Hey, uh, I gotta tell you guys that, uh, it looks like

Chris is going to, uh, get that scholarship?

We didn't know he was up for one.

Well, why do you think he spends all

of his nights at the library, Ponch?

Look at him. He's got that look on his face again.

Oh, I was, uh, I was just wondering

who swiped that statue, uh, does Chris know anything?

Yeah. The Upsilons.

They're going to be talked to.

That's the engineering students, right?

Yeah. They'd be the ones that know about the helicopters.

Oh, hey, before I forget.

Should about cover it.

Uh, cover what?

What's that for, Andy?

Well, you know I don't take freebies, Ponch.

I mean, you know that about me.

And i-it's for all this! That's what it's for!

Hey, you're my guest, Andy.

I invited you to dinner.

If it was gonna be Dutch treat I would have said so

but it isn't, here, put your money away, man.

Don't patronize me, eh, Ponch!

I beg your pardon, Andy.

You think I don't know?

You really think I don't know why you invited me here tonight?

Well, I got news for you, pal.

- I understand perfectly. - Andy, come on.

- You're a guest here. - Hey, it's okay, Jonny.

Alright, Andy. What do you think I invited you here for?

Tell us what you think.

'Cause you think I'm crazy, don't you?

Well, just take a look at the look on your face.

Jon and Ponch.

It's as plain as day, you know.

I got news for you, you guys can go pound sand.

You..

...and you and Getraer.

And all of you!

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

That better cover it. If you don't like it, then sue me.

What brought all that on?

- Andy's not here yet.

Ah, nothing.

Oh, yeah. I've been thinking the same thing.

I wonder if we should confide in Getraer?

Yeah, and if we do, and it turns out that Andy is just tired

we've bad-mouthed a damn-goodofficer.

Alright. I just have a few items, this morning.

Number one, scratch 63 boy from the "B" priority.

Uh, Stokowski is taking four hours of CTO.

And won't be hitting the bricks until 1300 hours.

For those of you working the north end

a pledge-week note on the kidnapping

of the Xi Chi fraternity-statue.

- The bird. - The bronze bird.

Happens to have been given as a gift to Xi Chi

by the immortal Franz Brokapi himself, a former brother.

So, the statue's valuable, right?

Valuable enough to be held for ransom.

And, uh, not for birdseed, either.

You, never disappoint your fans, do you, Grossman?

'Okay. That's it. Get to work.'

I'd like to talk to Andy's son, Chris at the college library.

Who knows? I may even take out a book.

That'llbe the day.

'Frankly, I don't know what'swrong with him.'

I was hoping you guys could tell me.

All I know is, he's got something on his mind

big enough to give him a headache.

Uh, you mean that literally? I mean the migraine headaches?

That's what he claims.

He keeps saying it's nothing serious

but he squinches up his eyes, it's hard for him to breathe.

Takes aspirin by the handful.

Does he ever yell at you for no reason at all?

I wouldn't call headaches that bad, no reason at all.

Yeah, but I mean, he-he-he does do it.

And then he gets real apologetic, right?

Apologetic?

He breaks into tears.

Yeah, we know.

Either that, or he starts laughing.

You should have seen him when they helicoptered away

the statue.

Did he tell you about that?

Cracked him up, huh?

I thought he'd asphyxiate himself.

He just couldn't stop laughing.

Have you ever tried to talk to him?

I mean, pin him down?

He claims that there's nothing to talk about.

He says that, um, I'm making him paranoid

and the next thing I'm going to do is, go around

tilting all the pictures on the walls

and then telling him that they're perfectly straight.

Sometimes, I don't think he's kidding.

I wanted to talk to you guys.

Ask if you'd talk to him.

You think he'd be more open with us

than he'd be with his own son?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

I don't know.

Sure won't hurt to try, man.

It's like there's somebody else inside of him.

Somebody coming between us.

I want to help him.

I just don't know how.

Well, we'll do the best we can. I promise you that, Chris.

And you can believe him.

Thank you.

See you later.

I feel better already.

Uh-oh.

Oh, well, well, well.

'A drop and a pickup.'

Okay, doper, you want to race? We're going to race.

Come on, Luke Skywalker. Off your spaceship!

Okay! You win the battle. We'll win the war!

Excuse me, sarge, but no one told me..

...that there was a ransom payoff going down.

Excuse me, Stok--

I mean, I thought I had a good

narcotics bust going down!

Yeah. Yeah. I, uh, I guess you did.

I mean, I would have yelled at me too, you know.

I would have yelled at me, too.

Hey, listen, tell me, uh

how much are they trying to extort

uh, for that statue?

Don't ask, huh?

Boy, oh, boy. This is some day, isn't it?

Boy, you know, you guys..

'Dr. Wilson to ICU, please, Dr. Wilson.'

'Dr. Grant, call 3 west, please, Dr. Grant.'

Hey, boys.

Let's go celebrate. What do you say?

- My clean bill-of-health, man.

That little fainting-spell didn't mean a thing.

Oh, you could've fooled us.

Well, here it is..

...in black and white.

Nothing wrong with me except, I got to...cut out

some of those...late nights and the wild parties.

Doctor's orders.

What's this about this celebration?

Well, I thought we'd go hoist a few at the Boom Boom Bazaar.

What do you say?

How does that fit in with no late nights

and wild parties, huh?

Right. Scratch the Boom Boom Bazaar.

Home and hot milk it is.

Well, you guys can't blame me for wanting to whoop it up

a little, you know, it takes a big load off my mind.

I'll see you guys.

- It had to be.

What's his name, the, uh, Upsilon president?

His dad owns this garage.

Well, there's nobody around.

Want to strike while the iron's hot?

I still say they're going to throw

the book at us if they figure us out.

For what, it's just a college pledge-week prank.

Then we're going to give them the ransom back?

Did you hear that, give them the ransom back, what..

- Watch out!

The heck there. Let's go.

Sixty-three, boy.

Twenty unit, northbound, vicinity

of Palm Drive and...fourth street.

In pursuit, two vehicles, one flatbed truck

with a statue, not tied down.

The other, a 1970...Plymouth..

...California license, uh..

...3-5-0, Boy, Adam, Robert.

Mary 3 and 4 responding, 63.

We'll be coming up fourth from the Harbor Freeway.

We'll attempt to intersect.

10-4, Ponch.

Hey, that cop wants us to pull over, man.

For what?

All we're doing is chasing

the guys who stole the Goshawk.

They stole their own statue?

Yes. Machiavellian, aren't they?

Yeah, but, it's two more on motorcycles.

Would you pull over?

Oh, boy, just what we needed.

Hey, look, they want you to stop. So, stop.

Stop! Come on, I mean it!

- I'll switch the gears. - Hey, man, we'll make it.

Come on. Look, you may not know when to quit, but I do.

Hey!

Alright, knock it off. Knock it off.

Hey.

Hey, hey, all that we are doing

is rescuing our own statue, officer.

Come on, Harold. That's not all you were doing.

Hey, you want me to bring you up on charges

in front of the fraternity council?

Uh, you might have to wait with that

until we bring you up on charges in front of the judge.

Well, what do you think, boys? We make a great team, don't we?

Team, Andy?

You almost turned us into peanut butter

on the pavement.

That's colorful, Ponch

but, it's not true.

I was in complete control, all the way.

Jon, why doesn't he understand that?

Hey, I don't understand it, Andy.

I mean, you're out there, risking our lives.

Is that what you're trying to tell us?

Now, come on, Jon.

We weren't risking anything.

Trust me. We're heroes.

I don't know about you, man

but I don't see any improvement.

Clean bill-of-health.

You see, all he was doing was waving that note in front of us.

He didn't let us read it.

'Dr. Stockley, telephone call. Dr. Stockley.'

'Dr. Stockley, telephone call.'

Stockley.

Dr. Stockley? We had you paged.

We'd like to consult you about a colleague

of ours, Andy Stokowski.

You know, I'll want to see some authorization.

We thought you would.

Officer Stokowski is my father.

Oh, and you want clarification

of the diagnosis I gave him?

He said he'd been overdoing it.

- Yeah, fatigue was implied.

Being a neurosurgeon, we couldn't understand

why he would consult you on a simple case of overwork.

That's what he told you, overwork?

Why am I surprised? I should be used to it.

It's a lot more serious than that, isn't it?

You got a backbone? Are you going to collapse on me?

Maybe, you better sit down.

That bad?

Your father has a lesion on the brain.

It's large.

It's malignant. It's inoperable.

It's terminal.

Alright, sir. Thank you.

Drive carefully.

Well, well, well.

You boys pull up here to, uh..

...talk about my little party, huh?

- Yeah.

My party at the Boom Boom Bazaar.

Jonny, what's happened to your memory, huh?

We didn't come to talk about your party, Andy.

We just came from talking with Chris and Dr. Stockley.

You had no right.

You had no right to do that, Ponch.

It's none of your business.

It is our business.

You almost killed us out there, and I don't think you knew it.

Who do you think you're talking to, some rookie?

Look, Jon.

No matter what's wrong with me, it doesn't affect my work.

That's exactly what we're talking about.

It does, Andy.

Oh, boy. You boys are really something, you know that?

You'd think I was going to die tomorrow.

He said you'd deny it.

Deny what?

That I have a brain tumor?

Yeah, okay. What's there to deny?

I've got a brain tumor.

I've got maybe a, a year or two left. So what?

What would you be doing, Ponch?

Huh, would you be sitting at home

looking at some game show or soap?

'That's a real useful life, isn't it?'

And that's exactly why..

...I didn't want to tell anybody what was wrong with me.

Because you guys are looking at me here now

like I got this, this thing in my head.

And that completely alters your judgment of my competence.

Andy, our judgment of your competence

was altered before we knew what was wrong.

Now, that's impossible, because I've been at the top of my form

all the way through this and you say I haven't, you're a liar.

So, let Sergeant Getraer be the judge of that.

Jon, please. Please.

Please, you can't do this to me.

You guys, you go to Joe..

You think I got two years left?

I got two mon...I got maybe two weeks left.

Is that what you want to do?

You know how many lives I can save out there during that time?

Maybe, even if it's only onelife

you think it wouldn't be worth it?

Okay...okay.

It's alright.

There's no problem. I'll go talk to Getraer.

You guys just relax, sit here

and, uh, tell yourselves what, uh..

...what great friends you are to me.

Yeah, sure. It's easy for you.

You'll be off suspension by the time next term rolls around.

I'll be pumping gas at my old man's filling station.

Hey, look. Some other college is bound to take you.

I mean, your grades aren't that bad.

Yeah? Who's going to pay for my tuition, my living quarters?

Hey look, Your old man isn't really going to cut you off.

He means it, Paul.

Those lousy Upsilons really did it to me, this time.

I don't think anyone meant to single you out.

They're going to regret it, though.

I'm not going without taking a few of them with me.

Hey, if you're thinking of doing something crazy again

you can count me out.

Don't worry about it, buddy.

I'm going to take care of this one, all by myself.

Do that.

You want to talk to us, sarge?

Yeah, I, uh..

I want to talk to you about Andy Stokowski.

You two must've had a pretty heavy talk.

A party at the Boom Boom Bazaar is your idea of heavy, Frank?

That's what he told you about?

You're supposed to know all about it.

He said you were co-chairman of the event.

What?

Look, maybe he just, uh..

...forgot to tell you about it, whatever.

The point is, I'm not against you having the party.

I'm just against the...place in which he wants to hold it.

- You know, I would've thought-- - Look, I'm not a prude, Jon.

Where you guys go on your off-duty is up to you

except, when that place is under surveillance

by the local vice and narcotics squads.

Look, it's not funny, Frank.

I want you guys to have a talk with him.

- Uh-- - Alright, Jon.

Yeah, we'll talk to him.

Come on, you know how early the parking lot

fills up around the Hollywood Bowl.

We don't get there by 6:00, it'll take us

till the concert starts to find our seats.

Especially when you got Perlman

doing that Mendelssohn violin concerto

you told me about, Neil.

The place, it will probably be packed.

Yeah, what's the symphony?

It's Mahler's first.

Mahler?

Here you go.

- Open the door.

- Andy! - Hey, Andy! Open the door!

'Andy!'

We're going to have to call an ambulance.

Andy, open the door!

Uh.

Ambulance?

What? Are you guys sick or what, huh?

Never mind us. What about you?

Oh, boy.

Got to pull over and rest my eyes for a minute

and the next thing I know, I'm, uh..

...Rip Van what's his name, huh?

When did you pull over to, uh, rest your eyes?

Jon, I'm joking.

When do you think it was? This morning?

Yesterday afternoon?

Did you call in for a break?

Oh, boy...no sense of humor.

Kind, considerate, courteous

but no sense of humor.

Oh, we're in for a real storm, aren't we?

Andy, there isn't a cloud in the sky.

What are you talking about, Ponch?

Look how dark it is.

You kidding me?

You kidding me, boys?

Not kidding, Andy.

Oh, so soon.

So stinking soon.

Stockley said it was going to happen like this, but..

...damn, he said it was gonna be a year.

This ain't even a month!

What kind of doctor is this?

Andy, uh..

...did the doctor say you'd go blind?

Nah, nah, nah.

It's going to be alright. It's getting lighter already.

It's, uh, it's, it's, I'm, I'm going to be alright.

You're not going to be alright, Andy, and you know it.

You didn't go to Getraer's office this morning.

Ponch!

I'm not quitting before I have to. I'm not!

Andy, Andy, wait, wait a minute.'

You don't have to quit.

J-Just take some light duty or some sick leave.

What, a desk job?

I'm a field officer.

I'm a cop.

That guy's crazy!

He's getting back at you

because he was kicked out of school.

Here he comes again!

We'll handle that, Andy.

I'm gonna get you.

Andy, don't do it, man.

LA 15, Mary 3 and 4 in pursuit of reckless driving

suspects, northbound, San Diego freeway.

Oh, not now.

He's all yours!

Come on, there's gas coming out! It's going to blow!

- Move it, move it! - Mary's in the car!

- I'll get her! - She's hurt.

Roll an ambulance and an 11-85 for one.

You guys alright?

Aah!

Ah!

- Uh, yeah.

I, um, oh..

...I think I am.

Don't move. Don't move, man.

Can't move. My back.

It's a piece of metal. Shrapnel.

Don't move, man. I mean it, alright?

It's okay, Jon. It's alright.

Remember...when I said..

..."If could save one life..

...it would...be worth it."

Chris.

"In memory of Officer Andrew Stokowski, CHP

"with gratitude and affection

"from members of the Xi Chi and Upsilon fraternities

graduating class of 1981."

♪ Should auld acquaintance be forgot ♪

♪ And never brought to mind.. ♪

I think I'm going to wait until I get home or just gonna

to start crying like a baby, right here.

Your father deserves every bit of it.

I just have this feeling

he'd like it a whole lot more, if the bird had, like

a big cigar in its beak and a pair of sunglasses.

You know something?

That's the truth.

Why don't we go pick it up and sneak back later tonight, uh?

You got it.

♪ Kindness yet for auld lang syne ♪♪