Original subtitles

Featuring:

Script: Jochen Huth and W. Forst

Script: Jochen Huth and W. Forst

Music by Peter Kreuder

This film does not depict true events.

To this very day the author and director

cannot agree on where it takes place.

# Come, close your eyes, play "blind man's buff" with me.

# And when you�re close, I'll give you a kiss.

# Come, play "blind man's buff" with me, I won�t leave you alone.

# When will you find me? I'm only waiting for you.

# Find me, catch me, than you will reach your goal!

# Catch me and I'll kiss you, it's only a game!

# Allotria!

# Come, play "blind man's buff" with me, it's not a sin.

# It's only a children's game, but often it's hard.

# Chasing after luck every which way.

In the Indian Ocean he was playing pingpong with her.

In the Red Sea he lay on the sun deck next to her.

- And tomorrow morning we go ashore, - Thank God.

But then it's too late! What is a sea voyage without an engagement?

I would really like to know what�s going on there.

# Blind man's buff, Blind man's buff!

- Do you listen to me? - Always. Steward!

- What does the barometer say? - It shows a slight tendency to fall, Sir.

My gruel!

Well, what do you think?

I'm prepared for the worst! Hopefully there's no storm coming up.

Oh my! Don't talk about the weather, when I'm talking about love.

But that's how men are - you are only scared!

You're scared of seasickness, and the other one of marriage.

But we woman want to be married.

It's not enough to put an orchid on the table every day.

- Is the orchid on the table? - Yes, Sir. As ever.

To my Philipp, with eternal love and loyalty, your Aim�e

- Good evening, how are you? - Good evening!

Well, where's she got to?

- Good evening! - Where have you been?

While we were waiting for you...

It's our last evening!

Isn�t a pity, that it came so fast?

- Our farewell. - It's a real shame, yes.

It came too fast. There are still some missing stitches on your pullover.

I was hoping that I could be faster. But some things take their time.

Even a pullover. Tomorrow morning we are ashore,

scattered to the four winds, without seeing each other again...

- Where will you be tomorrow evening? - With a girlfriend.

- And you? - So am I.

I meant, with a friend.

Aha! Here we go!

My goodness! What was that?

- A wave, madam. - I told you so.

- Maybe you want to try this? - Ridiculous. Because of such a tiny wave!

My husband is so funny! For the whole journey he was afraid of seasickness.

That's the only thing he got out of the voyage.

And yet it was the calmest journey I've ever experienced.

In every respect. Nothing has happened, absolutely nothing.

I wish something had happened. But men are so cautious.

They dare nothing, risk nothing and only think about the consequences.

Don't hit me, Jeremias, that's the way it is!

Women are much more courageous, in every way, don't you think?

- What was that? - A wave, madam.

It doesn't bother me. I have never been seasick.

The best cure against seasickness is to eat.

To eat a lot of good food with a good appetite.

My bold darling! Should have taken a pill too!

This can't happen to me. My gruel and�

A pill?

- Poor fellow! - Lucky me!

- You egoist! Don't you have any pity? - Not at all.

- It's all my fault. - Why?

I tuned the barometer to storm, so it came.

- And why? - So that we are finally alone.

And what do you expect from the stormy sea?

- A stormy evening. - Oh!

It is our last evening...

- Are you afraid? - What of?

That it could become too stormy?

No, I am seaworthy.

You are cruel.

Cheers! To our farewell!

Chee... No, stop! Why?

- Who said something about farewell? - You.

You said: "Our last evening."

I meant at sea, of course.

On shore you belong to... Your friend.

Don't you believe me, that I have a friend?

Yes, sure. Why shouldn't you have a friend?

- And what if I had a girlfriend? - That doesn't bother me.

- It does! - Why? - You go on about it.

- You talk about it! - You do, and I think that's wonderful!

This is a proof, that you are not indiffernt to me...

- But... - That you love me!

Adieu!

- You must not go now. - It became too stormy.

Afraid after all?

- It's getting late. - Tomorrow it is too late.

- Tomorrow you will have forgotten me. - I will never forget you.

- How many women have heard this from you? - You are the first!

- Who doesn't believe you. - Where I believe it.

Viola!

Do you want to declare your love to me?

It doesn't have to be here.

Your cabin is number 17.

Your victuals.

If you prefer number 17, then...

Watch out! What...

Do you take me for?!

- Finally! - How dare you!

You just said: "Take me!"

Let go of me. Please!

Let's wait for the next wave, ok?

- Viola, I love you. - I don't believe you.

- I love you! - I don't believe you.

My goodness! You force me to say something I've never said to any woman before:

Viola, do you want to mar...

Why are you so late?

I'll show you who is master of this house!

Uh, I...

I beg your pardon.

Oh, I feel queasy. Excuse me for interrupting.

But dear friend... I thank you!

To my David, with eternal love and loyalty, your Aim�e

I am afraid we cannot send madam as a letter.

- Why not? - She is sizably overweight.

- A heavy affair, eh? - A difficult affair.

Do you think you give enough weight to her, Sir?

- Aim�e. She was sweet. - But dangerous.

Delightful und dangerous. Oh, dear! Looking back upon her...

May I remind you, Sir, that you didn't want to remember her?

Right. This evening I will get engaged. And tomorrow morning is the start of a new life.

Part and parcel of destiny.

- Shave! - Part and parcel...

Yes, it�s best as part of a parcel.

- What did you say? - Nothing special. I thought...

Think aloud!

That it would be appropriate to inform Miss Aim�e today.

- About what? - That we want to begin a new life tomorrow.

You know how unpleasant this is for me. Tomorrow morning she will have reviewed her mail.

- The whole affair is a bagatelle. - Bagatelle!

- What are you thinking about? - About women.

Everytime you think, they are a bagatelle - presto:

- They hold a knife to your throat. - For God's sake!

Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Do you want to make me nervous before the race?

I only want to save you from Miss Aim�e,

making you nervous after the engagement.

16594.

- Who is it? - The bagatelle.

Why is milord busy?

I am sorry, milord is...

...dead. - Then tell the dear deceased:

If he doesn't answer the telephone immediately...

No, madam.

May I say, that this would be the right moment?

No, I can't.

- Well, then I will permit myself... - Give me the phone!

- Darling... - What is wrong with you, David?

You are so strange lately. Are you ill?

This evening? It's impossible, I cannot come.

This very evening I have to go to...

...a party. Yes.

I can't possibly miss it. I have to be there.

Yes. It cannot take place without me.

- It is my... - Engagement party.

Err... victory celebration.

And if you're not victorious, my little David?

Take my word for it! There's no stopping Goliath, I will win!

Anything more you have to say? No? Well then!

Another missed opportunity.

- You are too pessimistic. - I am only farsighted.

I think Miss Aim�e is capable of,

showing up at your engagement party and...

- Peekaboo! - Gabi, wait outside, I am still naked!

Go in my child, take at look at him.

It's good when the bride sees her groom

in his natural state before the wedding.

Gabi, please. I am not ready!

You look sweet! Like a baby besmeared with cream.

- I am not shaved yet. - Then shave, please. That's so funny!

Daddy always makes a funny face when he's shaving, don't you, daddy!

It's an old experience, son:

That women think we are particularly funny, when we are doing the most important things.

I can't shave when you are watching.

I will always watch you when you will shave.

You'll have to get used to it. I am laughing my head off!

- Pardon me... - Do you also wrinkle your nose when you do it?

- Gabi! - Please, wrinkle!

Daddy looks like Puffi, when he has to sneeze.

- Make yourself scarce! - Daddy!

- He already treats me like his wife. - Don't marry him, then.

- David! - Sweetheart? - We will not get married! - Alright.

What can Goliath do in one hour?

- 2,85.

...79,16. Gosh: 79 metres in one second!

79 metres in one second? David, we're getting married after all!

The triumph of technics.

Darling!

Exactly 10 seconds. Converted to Goliath, a 790 metres kiss.

How kind of you, to take the trouble.

No trouble at all, how often does it happen,

that the fair sex is interested in the technical aspect of the races.

I beg your pardon! This is much more exciting than the race itself.

There he is, the famous Goliath.

- Please excuse me for a moment. - Go ahead, I will entertain myself.

Watch out, Miss! This stuff stains your clothes.

- What are you doing here? - I am refuelling.

- Interesting. May I watch? - Please.

- This smells terrible! - But it will drive well.

- You wouldn't come very far with your stuff. - Oskar!

Yes, I am coming!

How interesting...

- The race starts immediately, Miss. - Where is the little David for this Goliath?

- So late, mister Clemens? - I always arrive last and finish first.

May I ask for an autograph?

I will see you tonight, despite your "victory celebration"!!!

Beast.

- Attention, the race will start immediately! - Good bye!

My God, I am nervous. Drive carefully!

- Yes, yes. - Are you nervous? - No. Cross your fingers.

All cars are prepared. The powerful machines are ready to start.

...Goliath, in the front, close to the starting line.

Here come the drivers, one after another.

A driver with self-assuredness: Little David Clemens.

Daddy, I am so excited. I hope nothing happens to him.

That's what you get, when you marry a race driver.

There he is! When we are married, I will not allow him to race anymore.

He'll have to promise me. Otherwise I would be dying because of fear.

Howling machines! The man with the starting flag is ready.

He's lifting the flag! Only 6 Seconds...

Goliath is taking the lead! The distance is getting bigger!

Will he win? He has to! He has to win again this time!

The cars passed the bend. In the lead: Goliath David Clemens.

Unless something unexpected happens, no one will claim the victory from him.

This report just in: Goliath has misfired.

He is losing speed.

- Backfire again. - Goliath is backfiring!

Is it dangerous? Can he explode?

The unforeseen has happened:

David Clemens surrenders.

- I have to see him! See if he is doing well! - Why shouldn't he?

David Clemens lets it be known that:

Everything is ok, except the car.

There we go! At least the engagement party can take place.

When we are married he must not drive anymore!

- What's wrong, Mister Clemens? - Over!

- We will haul off! - Yes.

When I get my hands on the guy who was messing with my fuel!

Poured water into it. Or something else.

- It wasn't water, Sir. - What else?

This belongs to...

Aim�e?

- This is... - Terrific.

- What are you thinking about? - The same as you, Sir.

- We murderers. - I would even go one step further.

- And? - Kill madam...

- Tonight? - This would certainly be the easiest.

- Theodor! - When I think of your engagement...

- Almighty God! - What else could the perpetrator be able to...

It is frightening to think!

Maybe this corpus delicti prompts you, Sir,

to sort things out before the engagement.

Tonight would certainly be the last opportunity.

It is high time, so to say.

They didn't come for breakfast, they didn't come for lunch,

they didn't get out of their cabins at all.

There is only one explanation for this:

They are either the happiest couple on earth,

or they have been as seasick as you!

First, it was you, who was seasick, not me.

And if you had not been seasick, I wouldn't have left them alone.

They would be the happiest couple on earth by now.

And what are they instead: Unhappy, apart, quarrelling.

And whose fault is it? Yours!

- Do you belong together? - No!

Is this your suitcase?

No, it belongs to the lady.

Anything to declare?

- Good morning! - Good day! - Open please.

- May I help you? - Please.

- Did you sleep well? - Excellent, thanks.

- The storm diminished very fast. - Very fast. Yes.

Yes.

Last evening we were interupted during a very interesting...

conversation.

You wanted to propose to me.

- Viola, I am sorry. - Why? You have nothing to regret.

- And neither do I. - But I would like...

To continue with your proposal?

This environment is even less appropriate then last night�s.

- Well, I have to... - You have already said enough.

I have to tell you something now.

Last night I was not as seaworthy as I told you.

And you got carried away by the storm,

and almost said something, you never said to a woman before.

A pair of boots came in between for your own good.

And you couldn't get over them. Too bad. But thats a good thing.

Because I was so much in love.

In love... Like a silly goose.

You donkey!

Adieu.

You have to stay here! Unworn woolwear is declarable.

Ah, throw the stuff away!

I need your written permission for that. And customs have to be paid.

- But I mustn't miss the train! - The next is leaving in 5 minutes.

�14 "Unworn woolwear", wait...

- Here you are, it's surely not worth more. - I am not allowed to take this.

Give my compliments to your friend!

Pardon. 16594!

Oh, the gentlemen are still waiting?

I am terribly sorry, but I can only repeat,

that he left the house more than 2 hours ago.

I am afraid I have no idea where he is.

You really don't know where my friend is?

I always know where he is, naturally.

But in this case I am obliged to absolute discretion.

This discretion doesn't regard his friend of course.

Stay discreet, Theodor. This was always your fortitude.

- But in this case... - Especially in this case.

We were never very nosey about each others girlfriends.

A safety measure, that proved to be very succesful.

But he will regret deeply, that he didn't see you.

- Maybe you want to contact him on the phone? - Don't disturb him!

I don't want to be disturbed where I am going now, either.

Not even by phone.

My best compliments!

Marie, the bell rings!

Oh, it's only you?

So excited when you see me?

Don't be mad at me, Viola. I was hoping it's David.

- The groom. - Is not here? At his engagement party?

- I am so sad! - Even before the marriage!

- What a prospect. - I don't want to marry him anymore.

I am waiting for 2 hours and he doesn't even call.

There is only one excuse for that: He is dead.

I hope, he will find a better one.

- Did you call? - Everywhere.

I can't let the police pick him up for his own engagement party.

- I won't hear of it! - But Gabi!

You're just talking. And when he comes...

- He must be somewhere. - The question is, where.

- A glass of champagne? - No.

- Do you want anything else? - No, thank you.

What an immensely pleasant evening...

Something different for a change. But full of atmosphere, don't you think?

What? Yes.

My poor darling! Still thinking about the evil people,

who poured perfume into his fuel.

How can a person be so vicious!

And all because of envy and rage and rivalry,

in order that you don't win.

You don't have any clue who did it?

- No. - It's lovely...

that you came tonight.

At least I cheer you up.

Just imagine you went to the victory celebration in this mood!

Aim�e!

Darling?

No more �Darling�! Do you know, why I am here tonight?

Only to tell you once and for all:

I am getting engaged tonight!

No!

No! Why me?

Me, who loved you so much?

How can you do this to me?

You, who fetched me away from theatre!

You want to leave me disdainfully? You can't do that!

You are the only man I love!

I sacrified my career for you!

Hold me! I am getting weak...

- Enough! I am leaving. - No! You will stay!

Don't think you can get rid of me so easily!

I am a decent woman.

You don't know what a decent woman is capable of.

Oh, I will create a scandal!

A scandal!

Aren't you well, darling?

What's bothering you?

Or... Do you want to tell me something?

No, no, there is nothing I have to say.

- Yes, I have to leave. - Do you still want to go to this party?

I am expected after all.

As you will, darling. I will go with you.

- Impossible. - You will stay, then?

No, I cannot stay, I cannot leave, I...

Don't be upset, darling!

Everything is alright.

I won�t escort you to your victory celebration.

You won�t stay here.

We will have a great night out. Wherever you want, darling.

Is it all right with you? I will only put on an evening gown.

- Someone�s at the door. - Please answer, darling.

- Who can it be? - Don't be so nervous, no one.

Then he should stay out.

For God's sake!

Who is it?

Boy! Jesus, Philipp!

Back in the country! What a surprise!

How did you get here? Well, Theodor was telling you...

- Yes, Theodor. - Really?

Did he tell you, who's living here?

- My girlfriend. - Your girlfriend? - Well.

Really? I don't want to disturb then.

No, stay here. Take off your coat. It's marvellous!

It's marvellous! I won�t let you leave.

You have to drink a glass of champagne with me.

I can't even begin to tell you how glad I am that you are here.

Come, take a seat. What do you want?

Cigarette? Listen, I have to tell you something.

I am in a terrible situation.

She loves me.

Not everybody can claim that from his girlfriend.

- But I want to get rid of her. - I see!

Yes, for a long time! But I don't know, how.

I don't have the guts to tell her.

- Coward. - You don't know her. She is capable of anything.

- I am the only man she loves. - How do you know?

She said it herself.

- She said the same to me. - Who?

- My girlfriend. - But you lucky devil, you know that it's not true.

That's right. Now I know for sure.

But maybe she has... another friend.

Who?

- Your girlfriend. - Jesus, Philipp!

If I only knew!

I would be the happiest person on earth!

This would be marvellous, wonderful!

This would be scandalous! You have no idea!

Almighty! Now she�s passed out!

What's wrong? Aim�e? Aim�e!

Philipp, what am I to do? Come!

Aim�e, what has come over you? Come, stand up...

Stand up! Come on, stand up!

My God, that's all I... Oh my, Philipp!

Where are? You, Aim�e!

Aim�e! Cognac, fast!

- Good idea. - Good God!

Oh my! Help me please!

Give me a hand!

- No chance. - You are cruel!

Can't you see that she fainted?

- Aim�e! Aim�e! - I know this state.

- Philipp! - One moment!

Now she is going to cry.

I know my little darling...

Pardon, your little...

Respectively our little Aim�e.

No! This is..!

No! Such a..!

You also fetched her away from the theatre! That�s..!

Stop!

- What's wrong with him? - He's in a hurry.

- Where is he running to? - To his engagement.

- And you helped him. - I am his friend.

- But he betrayed you. - Yes, but with you, dear Aim�e.

- I am lenient with him. - Oh, darling!

- Oops! - What's the matter?

- I am also in a hurry. - Do you also want to get engaged?

I'm afraid not. I wanted to see him and I wanted to see you again.

This was the reason for my journey. To see both of you together,

makes the matter easier. My train leaves at 11.

Little Aim�e: Adieu!

Darling, I am so alone.

- Good evening! - We've been expecting you!

Could I speak with Gabi alone?

You are David! Are you always late for your own engagement partys?

I am Viola. You don't have to apologize to me,

and you can't to her.

We've been playling "blind man's buff" for 1 hour in desperation.

- Robert! - Wrong!

- Felix! - Wrong!

- Uncle Max! - Wrong!

Oh, dear. I don't know.

Congratulations!

We would like to inform you that we will get married...

Goliath will unfortunately not be seen in this year's race...

for the Monaco Grand Prix, owing to...

coming today noon stop - looking forward to see house hug you kiss puffi - gabi

- Are you ready? - Everything is in order.

- Does it work? - You can count on that.

Quick, a final rehearsal so that everything goes well.

Theodor, you are milord, Marie, you are madam.

Go there, go 3 steps ahead,

and say: "Ah!"

So: Attention! One, two, three.

- Now! - Ah! Wonderful.

Oh my, they are coming! Where are my flowers?

Puffi! Go upstairs! Go into your basket!

Marie, open the door! Theodor, the garland! Here!

Be careful! When they say "Ah", down with it!

- Marie, here we are! How are you? - Hello!

- Sweetheart! - Viola! - You look wonderful!

- How are you? - It's wonderful to be home again!

- The house is changed beyond recognition! - How much work you had!

Everything is so beautiful! I am so curious.

- Well, Theodor! - How is papa doing?

- Who will bring the luggage? - Marie. - Everything is in order then.

Puffi, my doggy! My dearest!

Did you miss your wifey?

What do you have here? Did you desert your mousie?

A lucky pig! Is this Puffis surprise for wifey?

Give it to me!

Oh, dear! My beautiful surprise! Everything ruined!

Why didn't you say "Ah"!

Don't be sad. Sometimes it works, sometimes it won't.

A black cat was crossing my way today.

But I am still the happiest person on earth.

Have been. Look at this woman.

My only, sweet Puffi!

Until now I was the only one she kissed.

- Now a dog takes my place. - Are you jealous of Puffi?

I am jealous of everything! Of every flower you sniff at!

- Give a kiss to Puffi. - Take the monster away!

- Bite off his nose, Puffi! - I will bite off his.

- I will get divorced then. - Who do you love more: Me or Puffi?

- Puffi. - And who does Puffi love more: You or mousie?

- Me. - Theodor! - Here is the mousie.

- I wouldn't bet on it. - You bet! - For a kiss?

Well, Puffi, your mousie! Beautiful mousie.

- Puffi! - Puffi, stay with me!

- Catch it! - Come here! - Catch it!

- Well then? - I hate you.

- I love you. - You're not on honeymoon anymore.

Here's your mail. It's lying around for half a year.

I've made seperate bundles for each of you.

- David, this is yours. - Stop!

I will read your mail. We are married now.

- Good, I will read your mail then. - Is he always so perfect?

He does everything I want. What I don't want, he doesn't. He...

What are you reading? Something important?

No, nothing...

Dear Mister Clemens! Because we didn't hear from you regarding the Grand Prix of Monte-Carlo...

Somebody is asking, if you want to participate in a dog race.

- Am I a dog? Ask Puffi. - Not as a dog, as a juror.

So you can flirt with every dingy dog. No way.

You get strange letters... You too. Nothing but bills!

You'll have to get used to the fact that you are married.

Your wife needs dresses. Dresses! Good God!

I didn't buy a dress for half a year. Viola, I�m unfashionable!

I have to get new clothes!

This surprise didn't go wrong.

I foresaw the situation, the clothes are here. Viola, that's so sweet of you.

There is a new boutique that is the envy of Paris.

The owner will come around later!

Gabi, do you know, who wants to visit?

My friend Philipp. I've told you so much about him.

I didn't see him for half a year. He wants to meet you.

- Each one is more beautiful than the last! - What do you think?

- That doesn't interest me at the moment. - I can see that.

Sent on the 17th, "I will arrive in 3 weeks."

Today is the 7th, "With the ship at 6."

When is that? 24, 31, 7...

That's today, that's now!

Aim�e! How did you get here?

What are you doing here? What do you want here?

You can't visit me! Do you want to provoke a scandal?

You want to provoke a scandal! That's just like you.

I beg you: Not now, not here.

My wife could come at any moment! You will get whatever you want.

But get lost!

- I am afraid it doesn't fit... - No sign of it.

How nice of you, that you came, madam.

Allow me to introduce: The owner of the boutique "Aim�e".

Nice to meet you. Wonderful, that you came yourself.

Madam, you don't know, how dear you are to me.

The one dress with the ornament...

Sweet! You have wonderful dresses!

Tomorrow I will show my newest dresses at a small reception.

- You have to come. - Gladly.

- Oh my, I will need a new evening dress then! - Madam? - Yes?

- A gentleman wants to talk with you. - I am coming.

Oh God, I can't welcome a gentleman like this! Viola, look, who it is.

- I'd be glad to. - I need hats as well!

You will get everything at my boutique.

What can I do for you?

You? You are his wife?

Excuse me. I...

- Pardon! Just one moment! - What is wrong?

Gabi, something terrible has happened.

- What? - Your husband�s friend is here.

- Why is that so terrible? - He thinks I am his wife.

- Whose wife? - He thinks I am you. - But he doesn't know me!

That's why. - So why does he think that I am his wife?

He thinks that I am his wife, not you.

But he has to know with whom he is married. Is he crazy?

Why would he know whom David has married?

- Why David? - Don't you understand?

- He thinks I am David�s wife. - But that's me!

Finally! That's what I am talking about all the time!

- I see, he believes that you are me! - Yes! Isn't that terrible?

Terrible? No. I think it's funny.

- Funny? - Terribly funny, hilarious!

Viola! We'll leave him in the dark.

David told me stories! He is always causing mischief!

He deserves it. Take my wedding ring!

We'll spoof him. It will be huge fun! Yes?

Philipp! Boy, you are here!

I was afraid, you wouldn't come!

Old globetrotter, let me take a look at you! You have grown!

I am married, what do you think of that?

- Enviable. - You're a jealous person, why didn't you marry?

Well, why didn't I marry?

By the way, your wife is the most charming creature in the world.

- Yes. Did you meet her? - A minute ago.

- Where is she? - I don't know. - How long will you stay?

I wanted to take the ship after the next, but...

- Absolutely out of the question, you will stay as our guest! - Impossible.

Sure. Theodor will get your luggage. My wife will be so happy.

- May I introduce you to each other? - Not necessary, Lumpi, we know each other.

Didn't you tell my husband, that we've already met?

- Yes, yes. So. - It's understood that you are our guest.

If my husband didn't invite you by now, I will make up for it hereby.

I am sorry that I ran away so fast earlier.

We have the couturi�re in the house.

- Don't you want to introduce me? - Yes of course. This is...

This is...

- I am Gabi, best friend of the house.

May I show you the house and your room?

You are certainly very tired from your journey.

- Are you crazy? - He thinks Viola is your wife.

- I can see that. What's all this good for? - This is funny.

- Funny! I find it stupid. - But Lumpi...

No, I don't understand it.

I really cannot understand what this is about.

Fine, if you don't have any sense of humour. We will tell him, when he's back.

Madam, I've got to leave now. My assistant is available for you.

Oh yes, the clothes. May I introduce:

- My husband - Madame Aim�e! - Pleased to meet you.

We have a rendezvous apparently. You are here. I am here.

And now even Philipp. Like back in the days.

I am almost getting sentimental.

- Between now and then... - Is a difference, I know.

I don't matter anymore. There is a charming wifey in my position.

- Every parallel between my wife and you... - Is wrong, true.

I am the couturi�re. You don't have to be afraid of me anymore.

But if I were you, I would be more afraid of Philipp.

Why?

Is this the first time you see each other since then?

- I don't want to be reminded of that. - I understand very well.

You have every reason, not to think of that anymore.

But I am curious how Philipp will act in this situation.

- What do you mean? - Many things remained open then...

Don't you think?

Do you remember?

It was in my living room...

I lay crying on his chest.

You were overjoyed when Philipp came unexpectedly.

Not considering that he might not be so happy to find you with me.

And before we knew it, you were gone.

You made it very easy for yourself, darling. For your own good.

Because: If it hadn't been so fast,

you would have heard, when he shouted: "Stop!"

Come back!

We have to speak about something!

It's not that easy! To walk off.

To cowardly escape responsibility. That won't happen!

Understood?

Do you know, what you did?

You betrayed me! Me, your best friend!

I would shoot everyone else right away!

Well, well. Our friendship changes the situation.

We won't shoot. We will remain friends.

But...

There must be order!

You took my woman away.

A woman I adored.

What goes around, comes around!

If you ever love a woman to death,

I will come

and take her away from you!

�An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth."

That's what he would have told you, my dear.

Oh, goodness, I forgot the time chatting.

Nonsense!

That would be quite laughable.

Don't bother, I don't mind.

I think it's sweet and will keep it on. Viola! Where is she?

- They�re staying up there terribly long. - Do you think?

I don't want to stop you. We�ll see each other tomorrow evening.

Goodbye! Lumpi, take a look at me!

Do you like me? What is wrong with? Don't be upset.

When he comes down, we will tell him that I am your wife. Yes?

No! No.

- We say nothing. - Aha?

Actually I really appreciate that he thinks Viola is my wife.

- It suits me fine. - Suddenly?

I think it's funny! Very funny...

- Viola! - Psst!

This is your room, our guestroom. Lovely, isn't it?

Later it will be our children's room. I hope you feel comfortable.

That's the balcony, south side. The birds sing in the morning

and the nightingale at night, if you're lucky.

You can close the door, if it bothers you.

You've shown me the whole house.

- Except for the attic. - Do you want to see it too?

It is not very interesting.

Why did you show me all of that?

Should I imagine how happy you are with your husband?

Isn't it beautiful? Especially the dining room with the majolica.

Viola, why do you avoid to talk about our...

Will you also call me Viola in the presence of my husband?

Your luggage is coming up.

We'll have dinner at 8.

Thanks, I am fine.

No, I have enough, thank you.

Yes, and lots.

- You have plantations in Java? - Yes.

- Do you often come to Europe? - Very rarely.

- Are there only black people working for? - Yes.

- How lovely. Loud, nude savages? - More or less.

- And there are no incidents? - What?

Something exciting. Abduction of women ,maybe?

- No? - What gives you that idea?

I've seen a movie, where one nude savage stole the woman of another.

They roasted him slowly at the stake.

- This has never happened? Too bad. - No.

We don't roast over there. The issue is much easier.

If one savage takes the woman of another,

then he tells him: "My dear fellow, there must be order.

You took my woman away, so I will take yours."

According to the good old law "What goes around, comes around."

�An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.�

- Lumpi! - How dare you, calling my Lumpi Lumpi!

Only I am allowed to call him Lumpi. Making such a mess!

Like a nude savage.

I am much too nice to you.

My I declare the dinner to be ended?

We will have coffee in the lounge.

You always told me, your friend is so amusing.

- I find him boring. - But interesting, very interesting.

I thought it would be fun. Only you were funny!

You should have seen your face Lumpi, when Viola was kissing you!

Like a sour lemon. You have to play a happy couple,

otherwise it's no fun.

You have to kiss her properly, just like me.

Come, you didn't kiss me for such a long time.

- One piece of sugar or two? - Thanks, none. I like it bitter.

- Viola. - Psst. My husband!

Is your husband so jealous that I am not even allowed to call you Viola?

He is terribly jealous.

And what about you? You are not jealous at all?

Me? But there is no reason.

Viola, please play that record! I like it so much!

- Do you understand? - No, I don't understand a word.

Don't you get it? When we go to bed? He will notice something!

It's very easy: You will go to my room first, and then I will go into yours.

Well, ladies! What are you whispering about?

What do you think my dear? About dresses.

- Again. - All you think about is bills!

But your wife needs new dresses. And the salon "Aim�e" is expensive. That's how it is.

Apropos!

Your cigarette box.

You ran away so quickly back then.

Come along tomorrow evening! There will be a reception at salon "Aim�e".

Impossible! That's just what I needed.

- How come? - I don't understand. It will be amusing.

And it's better to face destiny

than having to pay the bill afterwards.

Tell me, when did you want to leave?

Why? Do you want to get rid of me?

No, I only meant... I just wanted to ask.

You will take the "Atania" again, won't you?

No, I will never take the "Atania" again.

I associate it with an unpleasant memory.

Very interesting! Was there an accident?

Yeah, basically.

- What a nice melody. - Don't you know it?

- It's an old record. - Unfortunately it is scratched.

Did you mention the "Atania"? I took this ship once.

Something really strange happened to me there.

When I think about it, how stupid I've been,

to take such an adventure seriously. - Adventure?

- You didn't mention anything to me. - It's too trivial!

I didn't know you back then, Lumpi.

I didn't even know what love is.

My dear!

My darling!

My only one!

Come on! Pull yourself together!

It's a newly-wed couple... I am used to it.

But we have a guest after all. You ought to be ashamed of yourself!

How come? He will surely feel sympathetic towards us.

- Don't you? - Just carry on.

- On the hop? - I've got to leave now, I am tired from the journey.

Now that it's getting cosy?

I changed my mind, I will take the next ship.

- What? You want to leave? - Yes.

- I'll take the train tomorrow evening. - Then we can...

...go to bed altogether.

- Are you coming? - Yes, in a moment!

When the ladies want to return to their actual rooms,

after the exchange of the rooms,

may I ask that they take the way over the balcony.

Puffi, who is sleeping in the corridor,

could awake easily with his nervous constitution,

and make noise in a situation

that would require particular discretion.

What a wonderful night!

- Yes. - The moon shines beautifully!

Yes.

- You cannot sleep? - No.

- I am so tired. - Let's go to bed.

- Good night! - Good night!

- Good night! - Good night!

Oh, you are still here! I thought it was Gabi.

I cannot go. Philipp keeps standing in the moonlight.

- You stay here. I will go over. - Not through the corridor!

- Puffi! Wait! - This dog will be my ruin.

- It's a wonderful night. - Yes. - Yes.

And the moon is shining so beautifully.

Yes.

- You cannot sleep? - No.

Gabi! What are you doing here?

- He just went to your room. - He can't, he'll have to come back.

This Philipp is still staring at the moon.

Fine, you will stay here and I will go over.

- And Puffi? - Is sound asleep.

I'm dog-tired. I'll go to sleep.

- Good night! - Good night!

Viola!

- What are you doing here? - I thought Gabi was here.

But she just went over to you. He have to go back, quick.

Impossible. I made it once.

- But a second time will go bad. - Take the corridor then.

- What about the dog? - Puffi is fast asleep.

Be quiet!

- But Gabi! - This feels like an eternity, what is taking so long?

Holy cow! You are going around in circles!

- He just went over to you. - To me?

No, you will stay here, until he comes. Understood?

I will send him over to you.

Gabi!

- You again? - Yes, and now it's enough!

Go over, she is waiting in my room.

And then you will stay there. Got it?

- What's happening here? - Who's shooting in the middle of the night?

- No idea. - What are you doing here?

- Well... Puffi is barking. - I can hear that.

- I calm him down. - He will do so by himself.

Yes... will calm down.. by himself.

Night!

I would only like to know who was shooting before.

It was me. That was my last surprise.

Lovely. I give in.

The dog is awake. I can't use the balcony anymore.

No, you can. Philipp just switched off the light.

Well, all right...

Do you feel sleepless because of the moon?

It's not only the moon.

But?

- You know what�s keeping me awake. Viola! - Psst.

My husband!

Your husband?

- Is sleeping? - Deeply.

He is so tired because of his long journey.

Poor guy! And you?

Me? I am waiting for the nightingale.

May I keep you company?

They say that nightingales only sing when two lovers listen.

Really? I will get my husband then, for safety's sake.

Let him sleep.

They sing most beautifully when the lovers are unhappy.

What a shame that I�m not unhappy at all.

Are you happy Viola?

Am I not allowed to be happy? I am beloved.

- Can you be so sure about that? - Very sure.

And do you love the man whom you believe is in love with you?

Endlessly.

- And he doesn't deserve it. - Why?

On such a night!

If someone can sleep on such a night, like your husband,

he doesn't deserve to be loved like that!

Maybe he is dreaming of me.

Maybe.

Can you hear it - the nightingale.

This dog!

Hey! Don't pull the blanket away from me!

I beg your pardon? Do you want me to freeze to death?

Now you can see, who is pulling the blanket away!

This my bed by the way! Let me sleep.

I'm moving out.

At least it's warm here.

Ouch! But hard. Very hard.

- Egoist! - No, you are!

This dog! I could kill him.

- Does he have his mousie? - No.

There you are. Surely you know that he can�t sleep without it.

- Where is it? - In my room.

Of course! You were playing with it again.

Such a big man, stealing the dog�s mousie!

Shame on you!

- Viola? - Yes.

- I love you. - How dare you say that?

I am allowed to tell you. Now I am.

- By what right? - Don't ask me...

to tell you what proves me right.

You don't have any right to declare your love to me.

I am a married woman.

- Where do you want to go? - To my husband.

- Please don't go inside. - Why not?

Just because you can�t bear that I'm happy with him?

- Yes. - How can one be so jealous!

Please let me go inside.

Please.

- You're still awake? - David!

I just wanted to kiss you goodnight.

Good night! Sleep well.

What are you doing here?

I have to get the mousie for Puffi.

- Good night! - Good night!

I've got him! Now I've got him!

- Who did you get? - My friend.

With my wife, on the balcony in front of my room, under the moonlight.

- In the middle of the night? - In the middle of the night.

In a situation... You could almost say in flagranti.

- Are you jealous of Viola? - Jealous of Viola? Haha!

- It's not as if she's my wife. - Why did you kiss her so passionately then?

- It was you who told me I should do so. - But not so passionately !

Two kisses would have been enough, the third was superfluous.

- Admit that you liked it! - Are you jealous of Viola?

Me? Jealous of Viola? Pah!

Stop running around! Lay down. I want to sleep.

Me - jealous! Of Viola!

With my wife...

The sun is good!

- I had a bad night�s sleep. - Me too.

Philipp is rather late for breakfest.

When do you want to tell him that I am your wife?

- 5 minutes before his train leaves. - One hour before it.

Good, half an hour before it.

Nobody is asking what role I am playing in this matter.

- No one cares about me. - You are the friend.

- As before. - As you will. You take the responsibility!

But I want to have some reward for that. I'm not married then.

I am single, free. I am allowed to flirt with him.

- Gabi! - Good morning! - Good morning!

Where are you on such a wonderful morning? I missed you.

- You were missing me? - Of course. You're my only comfort.

They are so boring. Like an old couple!

Have you ever been married, miss?

What a stupid question! Would I be a "Miss" then?

Right. But maybe in love or engaged?

No, I'm still totally free. That surprises you, doesn't it?

Indeed, such a charming, young lady.

"Miss", please. David, did I ever receive a compliment like this from you?

The egg is rock-hard again.

Theodor, I told you to cook the eggs for 3 minutes!

Just as you wish, Miss.

Excuse me, Viola, I am still playing housewife.

- Actually this is your business now. - Please.

I still have to get used to the prosaic aspects of marriage.

After all the poetry it had for us, isn't it Lumpi?

What? Oh, I see. Philipp, when does your train leave?

My train left at eleven.

But I changed my mind. I will stay.

What? You will stay after all?

Wonderful! Then you will come along to Aim�e this evening!

# Ladies and Gentlemen, my valued customers, I am very pleased!

# I welcome you and hope very much, that you will find something you love!

# Dresses, dresses for the ladies, like a dream!

# Dresses, so precious, a nightmare for the gents.

# To not disturb the optic impression of those wonderful robes,

# I will use a bit of cunning: my mannequins will wear masks with their clothes.

# These creations will look stunning.

# Maybe the gentlemen want to comfort themselves in their grief

# with the best cocktails our house can serve?

# Mesdames, messieurs, attention!

How nice of you that you came, miss!

Well, what do you say to such a luxury?

- Who is it now... - Hey! My father-in-law!

So this is were I can meet my family! Don't you want to introduce me?

- This is my friend... - So you are the father of... - my wife.

- I used to be, but since this good-for-nothing married my... - daughter.

What? ...my daughter, I am rid of my child, as if I never had any.

This is charming! How delightful that you shared your secret with me!

You were our only danger.

- But if you play along... - It's a pleasure for me to play along.

- Gabi! - What's the matter?

Oh, dear! My daddy!

Excuse me, madam.

Daddy! It's great to have you here!

I have so much to tell you about! Come!

Great! There is a free table.

This Aim�e is a marvellous person.

How she arranged everything! So cosy and intimate.

Do you still regret coming with us, David?

- What are you doing? - I'll have some cognac.

How did you know, that you can find cognac there?

That's quite clear. There has to be cognac inside. And there was some inside.

You can't just simply...

Yes, yes. He can. He can.

- Cigarette? - Bad manners!

Unbelievable! Fire?

How come that you know that there's a lighter?

Yes, he know. He knows.

You both act as if you own the place.

Yes, we feel like we're at home here.

Isn'it, David?

- Do you want to dance? - Wonderful idea! Let's go!

- Do you also want to dance? - Good, let's dance, too.

I would love to know, why I've suddenly got a new daughter.

They are always fooling around!

They even ask me to join in! Do you?

- Yes, as a tongue-tied character. In the backround. - How nice.

- I am hot! - Do you want to drink something?

- Gladly, where can I find something? - At the cocktail bar. - Wonderful!

- Champagne or cocktail? - Both, I'm terribly thirsty!

- Can you tolerate it? - Anything but the truth.

- All right. Two "radio cocktails"! - With or without sound?

- What, you know "radio cocktails"? - Never heard of them.

A thing like that doesn't exist. It's my invention.

Please step aside. Right! Patented.

I didn't know that you can be so funny!

You haven't seen me when I start to laugh.

- Oh well, laugh please! - I always have the last laugh.

- Do you want to poison the lady? - No. Only bewitch!

- So this is a "radio cocktail"? - It's supposed to be.

- Can you hear America with it? - When you drink this,

you will hear the angels singing in heaven.

- I never would have guessed that of Philipp. - Me neither.

He has a good character.

- Why? - He's not a bit interested in your wife.

Instead he seems to have a great time with her friend.

You can't hold it against him that she's your wife.

That's your hard luck.

It seems to be your destiny, to fall in love with the same women everytime.

It looks like you're royally amused.

- You're not? - We're just getting started. Cheers!

- Don't drink so much. - Uh, since when are you her watchdog?

- Excuse me, please. - Right. Why don't we have another drink?

- Lets drink a toast to our friendship! - It's out of the question.

- Pshaw! I didn't mean you! Cheers, Philipp! - Cheers, Gabi!

- Please come with me. - Do I have to?

Philipp, I can hear more and more stations.

Soon I will be in heaven!

- What are you doing here? - We are amusing ourselves, madam.

- I feel tipsy! - I can see that.

- Aren't you ashamed? - You should be ashamed,

that you are sober! Philipp, prepare a "radio cocktail" for her!

- Here you go! - She should hear the angels singing too!

- You are very chummy... - Yes, madam. Your friend is very lovely.

Don't fraternize with her!

She's a married woman. David would get jealous otherwise.

He is so jealous. Isn't it? You are terribly jealous!

- Nonsense. - A cocktail for you? - No, thanks.

- I'll take it! - Don't drink so much.

Look at those two! I can drink as much, as I want.

Don't stare at me, David. I am not married with you.

- Better dance with your wife! - Not by any means.

- Cognac! - There you are!

We won't let them dampen our mood, right?

Philipp! How often are you standing behind the bar?

At least three times.

Thank God. That's right.

David, come on. Let's go dancing.

Hold it! What's wrong?

That's going too far. I don't want to go on.

We have to tell him the truth.

That doesn't matter at the moment. My wife has to get home!

- Please, do it for my sake. - No...

I renounced art for good. And I am also very hoarse.

Unless you accept the responsibility.

For you? Always, blindly.

- Papa! - Your daughter is tipsy!

- We don't know what to do. - What's that to me?

Do you want me to spank her bum? That's your business, you are her husband.

- Please come, Miss Aim�e! - Lousy father!

- How will I get her home? - There's only one rescue.

- Resolve, put things straight. - Yes, it's about time!

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take a seat.

A great surprise, a distinguished pleasure is about to begin.

I asked the lady of the house...

- In a word: She will sing. - That's all I need!

Sit down, please!

Ladies and Gentlemen! Today I will for once present

something serious.

# Princess Fedora was young and so beautiful,

# the fairest of woman at court.

# And everyone, who ever...

#... looked into her eyes,

# never wanted, to look at any other again.

# But one day, the wind blows around the house,

# a very young man comes along.

# He asked for a shelter, he was shown the door.

# Then he reached out for a fiddle and a bow...

# He is heard by Fedora,

# and her cruel soul fell for the boy.

Too low. # She sent for him

# and asked for a song.

# He was happy to do her the favour.

# He played as she wanted.

# And soon there was a tender: "You!".

# Then it happens: She swears fidelity to him. And the boy disappeared in a wink.

# The princess, turned white as a sheet.

# The wind tore her dress apart.

# A fiendish creature crept over the floor.

# It crept ever closer, it crept ever closer.

Ah! A mouse!

- Have you seen my wife? - Yes, Sir. - Where is she?

- She is standing next to you. - Where?

He is looking for the lady who was sitting here.

- This lady? She fell asleep. - Fell asleep?

Lumpi, give Puffi his mousie.

- Where is my wife? - A telegram. - Where is my wife?

Madam is not at home because...

- What? - And Philipp? - A telegram. - Give it to me.

- Where is my friend? - Regarding your friend,

it will need a longer explanation, in my opinion.

- Don't tell stories! Is he here? - No. - I knew it!

- May I take the liberty of ... - No, be quiet!

- Go to bed! - Well, good night.

What? Oh, good night. That's going too far!

- That�s totally over the top. - We shouldn't have let this happen!

- But it is your fault! - My fault? - Yes!

- You found it funny! - What, I found it funny?

You have... Wait, pause. David, pause. Quiet.

- You better read the telegramm. - Which telegram? Oh, I see.

"Can't stand by and watch your happiness. Stop."

"Consoling myself with your wife�s friend. Stop."

"Will take the next ship. Stop."

"Useless to stop us. Stop."

"Already on our way to Marseille."

- Good morning! - Where am I? - On the way to Marseille.

- Help! - Please, be calm.

- We will miss the ship otherwise. - What ship?

- The ship to Java. - To Java?

But dear Gabi! We had such a lovely agreement.

- Last night. - Last night? - Hmmm.

Oh dear!

Don't laugh! You are a very bad person!

Yes, I'm a very bad person.

Oh my, what will David think of me!

- My Lumpi! - Your poor husband!

- Why do you know? - That you are his wife?

- I know it for a long time. - Who told you?

- Your hand. - When? - Yesterday, at breakfast.

You really tricked me marvellously.

You thought of everything, even the wedding ring. But you forgot about one thing:

- The sun. - The sun? ...brings it to light, as you know.

You were so proud to be a young lady that you forgot one thing:

Young ladies don't wear a ring on this finger.

- That's cruel! - From the sun, isn't it?

She tanned the whole hand, and only left out this white spot under the ring.

- But then you gave yourself away. - I? - Yes!

"Theodor, I told you to cook the eggs for 3 minutes!"

- That's something only a married woman says. - Oh!

- Voil�: Marseille! - Marseille? What shall I do here?

- Did you help them? - Yes, but...

Then help me pull a trick on them. Come to the ship with me.

- To Java? - No, I will take someone else with me.

- Viola? - Psst. She doesn't know anything about it yet.

But I took along her luggage as a precaution.

And what if the ship leaves and they have not arrived?

You can count on Goliath. It is 10 minutes after two. The ship leaves at five.

Including everything that could delay them, they are at least in...

Monte Carlo! How much longer?

- Two hours. - Can we make it?

Easily.

Hello, hello! My dear listeners!

You will hear now coverage of the Grand Prix de Monaco.

Close to the race track, shortly before the start. The Grand Prix of Monaco.

The most difficult race of the year!

The participants are ready, the stopwatch is ticking!

Only 2 seconds!

Stop! No one is allowed to pass!

But it is David Clemens! Monsieur may pass!

Announce a number immediately!

David Clemens is going to race!

We learned at this instant that David Clemens is going to race.

Breaking news: David Clemens finally decided

to participate in the race. He is given permission to join the competition!

- How often does a ship blow its horn? - Three times.

- Was this the second or the third time? - The first.

But there's certainly no cause for concern.

They'll be here at any moment.

They are on the 80th lap, David Clemens is in the middle of the field.

David Clemens is building momentum. He is taking the bend recklessly!

- He is in third position!

David Clemens is approaching the leading group!

The chase is on!

He takes the lead!

The crowd goes wild!

He enters the last lap, closely followed by his opponents!

- He is taking the bend!

Goliath will win! He has to win!

Victory.

- The Grand Prix of Monaco was won by... - David Clemens.

The third time! Now what? I can't go to Java with you!

The ship leaves in two minutes!

- I have to go to the shore! - Me too, I can't leave without Viola.

- Hurry, the ship is leaving! - Porter, we're leaving! Take our luggage!

Viola!

The luggage back again!

- Where is Lumpi? - In Monte Carlo.

We've won the Grand Prix of Monaco!

I don't have any clothes with me.

Hey! What's wrong?

You are travelling around the world and I sit at home alone?

I will marry again. I also want to have fun.

- Darling! - With one word: We got engaged.

My mother-in-law!

# The game of "blind man's buff" is finally over.

# We're all very much in love, that's our good luck!

# That lovely sound at the end, that's the engagement kiss.

# It's very welcome here, that's easy to see.

# What happens after the kiss? The same old song!

# But you will only get this:

# Allotria!

# Lovers play "blind man's buff". Grabbing luck by the scruff.

# And in time for the Happy End, we'll get to the sea.

# It can be so easy, chasing after luck!

** subs by spunk / lexipenia **