Original subtitles

[jazz blues playing]

[Johnnie Keyes] I helped change the sexual mores of this country,

and made it legal for human beings

to go to a store

and rent a X-rated movie legally.

And I helped make that thing a reality in this country.

So, I freed a lot of dicks and pussies.

That's how I feel about it, you know what I mean?

Real talk. Heh. That's some real talk.

[jazz blues playing]

[rock music playing]

[light theme playing]

When I first got into the industry, I was waiting tables for seven years.

And I was in college. I was a broke college student.

I used to sell and market timeshare, and I really just hated my job.

And I actually have job satisfaction now.

So even on the days that it's bad,

I just remind myself how much I love my work,

and the next day is going to be better.

[Tee] She was like, "Please, please, do this scene." I was like,

"I'm not doing no fucking porn. Now, get the fuck outta here."

And they were like, "Lo, we'll give you basically

three times what you make at your regular job for 45 minutes

of doing what you did at home for free an hour ago."

So, I was like, "Okay, let's do that."

He was my first scene in the business in 2006.

-Did not go well... at all. -Did not go well... at all.

It was so bad, I didn't want to work with her for like three years after that.

-But three years later, he worked with me. -And then it went well.

-And then it went well. -And now we're married.

[Priya Rai] I was treated a little differently.

[grunting]

I think that it actually got harder

when I was more, like, in junior high,

and kids started picking on me, and, like...

I would get jumped.

I got held down, my hair cut off.

[grunting]

I was pretty. I was a pretty little girl.

And so, girls were very, um, very mean to me.

Little things like that would happen to me

all throughout my teen years.

[grunting]

[crowd cheering]

I cannot be tamed.

Being a wild child is being an extraordinaire,

being not the norm.

[heavy breathing]

Like, I just loved being free.

They say, like, there's your conservatives and then your exhibitionists--

two different types of personalities.

Not one is better than the other.

They're just different. Society tries to tell you

one is better than the other, but they're not.

[female announcer 1] Remember, guys, when you're throwing money

during the fights, get it on the outside of the cage.

[female announcer 2] I don't wanna have to teach y'all how to make it rain.

[Priya] I'm actually really super excited for this particular fight.

This is very new to me. I don't know, it's just something

I wanted to tap into, have a lot of fun, be a little sexy.

And, uh, I was like, "Shit. Let's do it." So... [laughs]

[chattering]

Okay. So where was I at? I forget.

I was born in New Delhi. I came to America when I was eight months old.

I was adopted by a very religious family.

They adopted four of us, and, uh, they had three of their own, so...

Uh, they're, they're older, they're really involved in the church,

so they're not really aware of the extent of what I do and who I am.

Yeah, I think she just had this idea that we were gonna come,

we're gonna be, you know, good Indian little kids.

We were gonna go to school like a normal Indian kid

that comes from India.

I remember my mom looking at my brother and I,

and she goes, she looked at my brother and goes,

"You were supposed to be my engineer."

Then she goes, "You were supposed to be my doctor."

And, um, I just go, "Well, I'm a doctor of love." [laughs]

And she didn't like that too much.

Everything seems okay.

Ooh.

So, 15, I'm pregnant, '93.

I remember they had pregnant schools.

And they would ship all the pregnant girls to this one school.

We'd all come in on buses, and, uh, we would go to school there

until we had our kids, and then we'd go back to school, so...

Definitely a different world than it is now.

I look back, but... I did it.

It was kind of forced upon me to grow up really fast.

So I went from being 15 to a parent.

You're ready? All right. Hands up.

[Priya] And so, it's rough, you know,

trying to work, and be a single parent.

I remember when I was looking at ads.

I was like, "Topless dancers." [giggles]

All right. I'm gonna go try this out, so...

[male DJ] Priya Rai, she's at Cheerleaders in the strip district.

And you're gonna be here for two shows tonight...

-Yes. -...and two shows tomorrow?

Yes!

[Priya] Stripping for me, you know, you don't know

what you're going come in there and make in the hustle.

I was just, you know, being the little wild child at work.

I would be partying instead of working.

And then, like, I just remember the girls in the back,

I'd be rolling around on the floor.

They would be like, "Girl, why don't you just become a porn star.

What the hell, doing your asshole up in the air just like,

you know, it's just crazy." And so, I was like, "You know what?"

One day, I-- I thought about it. I was like, "Why not?"

So, I lived in Phoenix, Arizona.

I was in the circle of Jenna Jameson.

So, I would go to all the parties and I would talk to people.

And I remember I was in the pool, talking to this guy.

I was like, "I want to be an actress, and thought about doing--"

He's like, "Honey, you don't look like an actress."

He's like, "You look like a porn star."

Back then, my tits were bigger than they are now, and...

I don't know. I always had this thing. I--

It's always been in the back of my head,

but I was always too chicken shit to really do it, and I'm like,

"You're a year away from being 30, bitch."

Like, if you're gonna do it, do it. Here's the perfect opportunity.

You know, in the beginning of my career, I was doing nude modeling,

soft porn, should I say.

My first year, I got a lot of death e-mails

because of the niche of being--

There are no East Indian American porn stars.

You know, there was a lot more going on in my life

than to sit there and worry about some guy

who halfway across the country's opinion

on what I was doing, 'cause, guess what? He's not paying my bills.

And he's probably not paying for his porn either, so...

-[trainer] Yeah. Doing good? All right. -I think, yeah.

[trainer] Ready?

[grunting]

[Priya] I had to deal with that within the first year,

but I think, within the first to second year,

it kind of calmed down and people began to love me.

-Who the fuck is that? -What the fuck is she wearing?

Actually, making hardcore movies, I went in at 29.

There's days you go to work, and it's work,

but then there's days you go to work, and I'm like,

"I'm gonna have fun today."

-[man] Look how sexy you are. -So, let's go play.

Well, hello to my licorice bra.

[man gasps]

There are a couple of scenes in the beginning of my career

that taught me a lot, sexually about myself.

Does that look like something that you like?

It's so big!

-[trainer] There you go. -[heavy breathing]

[trainer] There you go. Now move your head.

[trainer] Take a breath. Where is the water at?

[female announcer] Fighting out of Fresno...

This former rodeo rider,

adult star, cage fighter, total package of dynamite,

-Blaten Lee! -[male announcer] Blaten Lee!

[female announcer howls]

It-- It was hard for me, because I had kids. So what I would do is,

I would get up at 7:00 a.m., get on a flight, come to LA,

be in hair and makeup by 8:30...

We got Priya here, and, uh, she just did a bunch of baby oil stuff.

-Look. There she is. -I'm-- It's so hot outside.

[Priya] Do my scene, be on the last flight back home to Phoenix

to be home with my kids for dinner,

or late, you know, to put them to bed.

But that's how I managed a career for the first two years.

I was going back and forth almost every other day.

-[female announcer] Priya Rai! -[male announcer] Priya Rai!

[Priya] My daughter and I have a very good relationship.

But it got to a point, she'd be at high school,

and she used to like, tell everybody,

"My mom's Priya. My mom's Priya." Like, "Stop it!"

Like all these boys at my door, you know.

I was like, "Do you want them to come over for you or me?

Like, just stop it!"

[female announcer] All right, here we go, guys.

-Round one! -[bell rings]

[woman] Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

[Priya] My son, he is now in college, and he's doing well.

I think for a couple of years,

it really affected our relationship, 'cause he was going through puberty

and I probably ruined it for him, but, um, but now it's like,

we kind of laugh about it.

He's cool about it. He's like, "Whatever."

He's like, "I know my friends have seen you."

But I just kinda stay away, like, I-- I don't go near the campus, or...

Um, I did go to his graduation, but I, you know,

kind of just showed up and left.

I don't really linger around his friends,

or his people right now.

Just out of respect. He's a straight-A student.

He's getting a full-ride scholarship,

so, that's a fun little experience.

So, that's why I'm a little jealous

of the whole like, college experience, but I don't know.

[crowd cheering]

I probably still, um, expect more of myself,

like I could have done it.

I had, um, an extremely high GPA.

You know, I look back, being 40, gonna be 40,

and I do wish I could do-- could have done things

a little bit differently.

And that's what sucks, like,

you know, just having a couple regrets.

I don't have many regrets,

'cause I've lived life pretty wildly. [laughs]

But I do have regrets

when it's coming to having a normal life,

just like, kind of maybe missing out on doing things

like, maybe college, or different things like that.

I'm sitting here, watching my son go to college,

and it's just like, "Wow, I got to miss out on all of that."

So...

[dramatic theme playing]

Hi.

You're at X-Fest 2018.

[Buck] In the United States, we don't really talk about sex and porn, and...

Yeah, there's a lot of stigma around pornography.

And that was very difficult for me to break through this idea,

of this stigma of being a porn star.

[Michael] Nearly everybody knows a sex worker now,

but everybody keeps it hidden if you're a sex worker,

because you don't know who's safe,

you don't know when it will come back to bite you.

Unfortunately, it's still legal

to discriminate against sex workers and fire somebody

because they used to be a sex worker in normal jobs.

[Michael] People have been fired from Subway

because they previously had a porn past.

Teachers have had jobs for 15 years

and they're fired, because all of a sudden

they found out they did porn.

As if somehow having done this activity

changes how they'll behave outwardly in society.

[Kira] Unfortunately, until our society can see sex workers

in a better light, and we can have more resources to defend ourselves

and keep ourselves healthy,

then people are going to be able to attack us

as easily as they have been for centuries.

[Luc Wylder] Then there's the bad boy, The Master's Choice with Ashley Renee.

She was one of my slaves before I met you, Alex.

[chuckles]

We should take 'em into the basement, Luc.

-I know. I know. -You know, we have a whole basement

downstairs full of slaves.

Yeah, that's a whole 'nother show, though.

Oh. [giggles]

[indistinct whispering]

[woman] Okay, let's start it from the top.

-Okay. -[woman] Luc Wylder, how'd that happen?

How did Luc Wylder happen? Okay.

[Luc] We're in the mid '70s, and the sex industry was booming.

And Times Square became a Mecca

for sexual deviance.

So, I began to explore,

and, uh, I got into bondage,

and discipline, and S&M,

and, uh, I began to perform

for companies in New York that shot fetish,

like Bizarre Video and Gotham Gold

and Star Maker.

Master Luc, she broke your chain.

[Luc] She did what? She broke it?

[Luc] And I got good at it because

I had studied aikido when I was a kid,

so I was into that fluid kind of motion

that is involved in flogging,

and whipping people.

[Luc] Very good.

I was the most in-demand, male dom in the adult industry.

And we came out to California, and we began to make films out here.

[Luc] Alexandra, could you come on in here?

-Come in here for just a minute. -[Alexandra laughing]

Wait, wait, wait.

-What? She's crawling into that-- -[laughs] You should see--

I was sitting over there.

-You should see the view I have. -[Luc] Oh...

How did I get my start? Well, I like sex. [laughs]

Let me show you how these work.

I guess you could say, um,

I was really a-- a fan more than anything

I-- I loved watching adult movies.

So, like, I knew-- Like, for instance,

my first movie was with, uh, Randy West.

Alexandra Silk is a very hot lady

that had been in the business six or eight months before I met her.

In fact, I met her at David Christopher's 4th of July party.

You know David, Pussyman?

[Alexandra] Raw Sil-- Or I don't know what the name of it was.

-Raw Sex. -Sex. [laughs]

[Luc] We got married December 31st, 1999 in Las Vegas.

Uh, it was a fucking party, man.

[Alexandra] It was not the traditional wedding, though.

[laughs] We had a very--

I had a very short, short, short wedding dress.

[laughs] And no panties.

[Luc] If you could call that a dress, I suppose.

And the, uh, the judge was somewhat taken aback by that.

[Alexandra laughs]

-Partied like it was 1999. -[laughs]

And you've been my best friend ever since.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

-Hey, everybody. Come on in. -Come on in.

-Welcome to our home. -That's right.

[Luc] We had both been married twice before.

Both in open relationships.

We are swingers, and we're very safe in our practice,

so we like to encourage that.

As we're always safe,

but never sorry. [laughter]

Well, I-- I want to say a little bit more about that.

-Yeah, let's go. -[Luc] Yeah?

We were like... We were just gonna remain this casual couple

and we were gonna be fuck buddies...

-Yes, my best friend. -...and have this wonderful life.

Just hanging around. Waiting for Luc Wylder.

-Oh, there he is. -[Luc] You're waiting for me?

Hi, Luc Wylder.

Oh, my goodness, look at this--

[Luc] But in the background, we began to do a lot of work together.

So, we wanted to make films

that had a little bit more credibility,

a little bit more value, a little bit more oomph.

-Mm. -We built a company called Fallen Angel.

[Luc] In essence, what we did was, we created a company

that would distribute adult video, but on higher standards

than many people were used to.

Let me explain. It's some of the nastiest sex that you'll ever see,

the guy actually cums right inside the girl's pussy.

However, they're all couples. It's real couples

having real sex with real cum.

We were offering something that was different.

This is... I'm Mike Horner with...

Adult Stars at Home. Thanks for doing this.

It was passionate. It was intense.

-The Silk series, remember? -Oh, my God.

I did a series called Silk Stockings

and Silk Panties and Silk Ties.

It was very high-end. It was quality.

Gosh, I remember when we were shooting that movie Tramps,

heh, in New Orleans.

[Luc] What do you think, Alexandra? You wanna go out there

and-- and play around a little bit, and then come back in here

and watch how T. J. Heart can, uh,

-you know, turn a guy on? -Oh, yeah.

Mary Gates said, "Would you do a travelogue series

for us at Adam & Eve?"

We said, "Sure." [giggles] Road trip.

[rock music playing]

We went to 12 different states and had--

Sex Across America from San Francisco.

New Orleans.

We are headed to New York, next stop.

Waikiki, Hawaii.

Had sex across America.

I don't think you're telling the whole story, my dear.

[Luc] Give me the camera. Act like you like it.

[Alexandra] Like, nothing happened? Okay. Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay.

-[Alexandra laughing] -[Luc] Taking off my camera.

-[Alexandra] Whoo! - Here we are. Whoa, we're gonna crash.

When we first started shooting that series,

-you were the hostess of the series. -Yeah.

Is that great, guys, or what? [laughs]

[woman] You guys are wild.

[Luc] I'm running around the country,

having all this wild, outrageous sex.

Mm-hmm, and then the second volume, we were, we were on the plane.

-We're flying everywhere. -Right.

I think we're in Hawaii.

[Luc] Have you ever seen such beautiful vegetation?

[Luc] We caught ten-foot-long blue marlins naked

on a fishing boat in Hawaii.

We had sex in hot-air balloons.

I mean, this was a series where we really got to do

the things that you would want to do in a travelogue.

That was so fun. [laughs]

[Luc] At the time, we were able to take the series

and really kind of elevate the porn

that we were shooting at that time through the locations,

through the people that we would encounter while we were traveling...

-Oh, my gosh, that was... -[dog snoring]

Wait. That was just-- No snoring.

What a pivoting point in our life.

That, we're-- we're having fun traveling across America

and then,

all of a sudden,

-Mom gets sick. -Hmm.

[Luc] While we were in New Jersey,

caring for my mother, I went back to school.

And I, uh, completed my degree in psychology.

So, when we came back

and went back to Chatsworth,

everyone else was gone.

We're like, what the fuck? Where did everybody go?

-In the adult industry, Chatsworth... -What the fuck happened?

-was the porn capital of the world. -Right.

[Luc] All of those buildings, all of those companies had closed up.

-Chatsworth had turned into a ghost town. -Yeah.

[Luc] And all the companies and people that we knew

were no longer there.

I understand now that our circumstances had changed.

So, you know, it's interesting.

We're not who we are in our 20's, it's not who we are in our 30's,

and it's not who we are in our 40's.

We just keep evolving, you know?

I always go to my passion, you know.

Where's my passion in life? What can I do next?

[Luc] Consequently, both Alex and I

have now achieved our doctorates in human sexology.

Well, I became a certified surrogate partner therapist.

And there's only 19 in the United States,

-and I'm one of 'em. -[Luc] Mm-hmm.

It's, um, it's very, um, serious work, it's healing work.

And it's my way of giving back to the world. [laughs]

One orgasm at a time. [laughs] Right?

[people chattering]

To go and meet a complete stranger, have sex in front of 20 people,

no Viagra, no, no, no, male enhancement pills,

is very, very difficult to stay hard

and not cum when you need to be.

So if you can prove that you can do that, you have a shot.

[Romi Rain] Anybody can do it, but not everybody can be successful at it,

especially not long-term.

And it is fun, it is an alternative lifestyle,

but it's not a joke, it's not a game.

It is a career and it is a big business

that can be very lucrative, or very damaging to somebody.

-[man] Wow. -Hi.

Hi, yourself. How are you there, beautiful?

-Good. How are you doing? -How am I doin'? How are you doin'?

I'm doing fine, thank you for asking me. Now that you're here--

Wow, what's your name, gorgeous?

Shh.

[preacher] What is that one thing that you're holding onto,

that's making you become stuck and you can't move forward?

Some of us are holding on to unforgiveness.

We're holding on to pain,

we're holding on to bad relationships, we're holding on to friendships,

and we're holding on to all of these things

and this is the reason why we can't move forward.

God can't do a new thing in you when you're surrounded

by people who hinder you.

[Jenna Presley] The unconditional love of God means that

no matter what this person did to me,

I will still love them. I will not hate them.

Don't hate your enemies, love your enemies.

Let me love people through you.

There were a lot of factors throughout my childhood

and throughout my teenage years

that would've resulted in me getting into the porn industry.

I constantly had to live up to unfair standards.

You know, if I had a B-plus on a report card,

it was ripped up in front of my face, and I was called a loser.

I started, you know, searching for ways

to become perfect.

And that's kind of where things started for me, because I thought,

"Well, if I could just be skinny enough, maybe then my mom will love me.

If I can be perfect enough and my grades are good enough,

then maybe I'll be loved."

I remember watching, you know, the E! channel

and seeing Jenna Jameson, the other Vivid girls,

and it looked glitzy and glamorous,

and it looked like everything that I wanted to become.

They really portrayed the industry to be something

that was lavish, and beautiful, and...

So, that's what I was expecting.

All right, Jenna, let's have you strip down here,

-we'll just take a couple pictures. -Oh. Okay.

-Okay? -Okay.

Okay. Yeah, you're a cutie.

[man] Yeah, you might be-- Yeah, you-- Yeah... Well, yeah.

All right, yeah, just stay there, strip down

-and we'll just take a couple pictures. -But I have to take off all my clothes?

-[Travis] Yes, all of them, sorry. -Really?

It is porno. You are planning on fucking on camera, right?

Well, but I've never done it before,

-so I was trying to take it slow. -[Travis] Okay, I'm not--

[man] You've never taken your clothes off before?

-Must be a bitch when you shower. -[laughter]

-No, I have, but not in front of boys. -[man] Oh, well, I see.

-Would it help if I was naked too? -[man] Yeah, please don't.

-[Jenna] Yeah. Heh. -[man] Don't go to that extreme.

[Travis] Alright, let's just get this going, because we got business.

-[man laughs] Travis has got business. -[Travis] And other bitches to see.

[Jenna] It's horrific to be asked,

"Is it okay if a guy spits in your face?"

"Is it okay if a guy slaps you

and pulls your hair really hard?"

But at that time of my life, to me it was like,

"Oh, yeah, that's cool. They want to shoot me. At least I'm wanted."

[man] Think you might be interested in doing a little hardcore stuff today?

-How much are we talking? -A thousand.

I'll do it. I'll do it.

[applause from audience]

Brittni Ruiz who was known to millions as Jenna Presley,

one of the biggest stars in the porn industry.

Brittni, I remember we had someone on here

who was the CEO of a porn company.

He said, "Women in porn, they were empowered."

You did about three sex scenes a day, did you feel empowered?

In the beginning I felt beautiful.

Like I-- I felt like I had found my self-worth.

And after a while, I felt destroyed, hopeless, I felt helpless.

[man] Now, here we are. Come on, Alex, bring her in.

-[Alex] Come on, baby. -Okay.

-This is a set. -Okay.

[man] Alex, I'm just gonna sit here and watch the monitor.

-You show her what to do. -Okay.

Well, I guess the first thing we would do

is to show off how beautiful you are.

Thanks. [laughs] So, this is a porno set?

Mm-hmm. Spin you around.

[Jenna] And it wasn't until I went into the church

and truly surrendered my life to God,

and I said, "God, whatever your word says in this book right here,

I'm gonna do it. Whatever it says, I'm gonna do it."

And I started following all of His commands,

and every word that I saw in this Bible, like,

I started to just do it.

Um, I hit rock bottom in the porn industry twice.

Um, the first one was really, really bad.

Okay, let's all stand for prayer.

This was the time where I was, I was a full-blown heroin addict.

I was doing a lot of it.

Father, we come before you, Lord, in the name of Jesus.

And, God, I thank you for what you're doing

in these women's lives, Lord.

I was depressed and I was suicidal.

I wanted to take my life,

but I was such a people pleaser,

that I felt like I was gonna

let the directors down

if I didn't show up to perform a scene.

[Jenna] God, I thank you that we are learning

to take the limits off of ourselves

that we could do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

So, I thought, "Okay...

I can't commit suicide

because there's too many people

that are counting on me."

I want to cut my wrists,

I want to do something, I just want to hurt myself,

I just want to feel something.

I felt so numb and I felt so lonely.

And I ended up just going to a tattoo shop

and I started getting tattoos all over my body

because I thought at least then I can feel something, you know.

And then, the next day, when I went to go do the movie,

I had a girl tell me, "What did you do to yourself?

Why did you get these big tattoos all over your body?

Nobody's gonna wanna hire you now."

Once again in my life, I felt rejected.

And that was that point where I said, "Okay,

I'm done with the porn industry, I'm leaving.

Like, I'm not even gonna be accepted here anymore."

And so, I left for the first time.

[people chattering]

I thought, when I quit the first time, that I was gonna be done.

I had gone to church and that was when

I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior,

but I didn't understand the importance

of having a relationship with God,

because having that relationship with God, that's where you get strength

from God is spending time with Him.

Do you want something to eat? Hold on to it for later?

Can we pray for you?

My weakness at that time in my life was men.

If you sent me a man, I would instantly fall in love.

I felt like somebody wanted me,

and I almost felt safer because I wasn't alone.

I had a guy that got placed into my life

and then he took me to church, and then I got baptized.

I'm reading the Bible and I'm starting to do really good,

and then this guy says,

"You are gonna be a bigger star than ever before."

Um, it turns out he was a pimp,

he got me back into the porn industry...

for another three and a half years.

It's a vicious cycle in the porn industry.

It starts with one thing, and it just goes on

to the next, and to the next, and to the next

until you just feel... hopeless.

I knew that my life was gonna change forever when I met Jesus,

because a man cannot change your life, because a man is not your Savior.

God is our Savior, Jesus is our Savior.

That's the only person that could ever transform my life.

God used Richard a lot in my life,

to be a part of him moving to change my life.

And what I think the triple-X business does

is that it gives you temporary relief.

It gives you the sense of wow, people are noticing me,

wow, I have money in my pocket,

but it doesn't fulfill your heart and your soul.

It gave her promises that it could not fulfill.

It told her what she could have,

but yet, it didn't fulfill her heart.

It told her she was gonna be appreciated,

but the moment when she was reaching for help,

nobody was reaching out for her.

[Jenna] I want you to know that you're not alone.

Anytime that you feel like you are unworthy,

God wants you to know that you are worthy,

and it just takes a bold step of faith of saying,

"You know what, I'm done."

And faith, it's being sure of what you hope for

and certain of what you do not see.

So you may not see the better life,

but you just have to have faith to believe that there is a better life

and God wants to give you that better life, He really does.

[applause]

[chuckles]

For all you new girls, remember that this is forever.

The Internet is completely and totally forever

and you can't take it back.

Your friends and family will find out. You will get harassed by people.

This will affect the rest of your life.

I-- I've definitely seen girls in the industry

where I'm like, "This is not a good place for you.

You shouldn't be here." Heh.

Um, and it is a tough industry.

You gotta have guts in porn nowadays, because you are going to be judged.

So, you have to be okay with yourself,

and we all struggle, there is insecurities,

we're all nervous about our bodies, and our minds, and our future.

But you really do have to have a strong will

when you come into this industry,

especially if you're younger, and I completely acknowledge that.

It's called adult entertainment for a reason.

Like, you kind of have to be an adult to thrive.

I'm really glad that I get to be on your documentary finally.

It's about time you guys asked me.

I'm lying, they've asked me every time.

[Christy Canyon] We are each other's holiday presents every day of the week

here on Vivid Radio SiriusXM.

I've actually been with Vivid Radio which is on SiriusXM

for the past three years.

And then before that, I was on Playboy Radio

for ten years on SiriusXM.

So, I just-- I had like a two week period off

and then just right back in business.

And I love radio, it is so much fun.

It's Vivid Radio's winter holiday special

here on SiriusXM 415.

Whoo! Your girl's here to just warm you up

this holiday season.

I definitely am not over sex after being around

since I was 18 in this business.

Eighteen, that's been in like two decades now.

Looking for that lightning bolt to strike me. [laughs]

Hey, boys, I'm Christy.

[rock music playing]

What's your fantasy?

I've got to hand it to you, Paul, you outdid yourself this time.

[Christy] I got in trouble, 'cause my girlfriend and I made

Playboys and we sold them to the boys.

They were like stick figures.

But like, I'm sure there was like, big weenie

going on... [laughs]

And boobs or something.

So, I think it was, like, from an early age

that I'd somehow been in some kind of a business

with nudity, I guess. I don't know.

When I got in the business, I wasn't talking to my parents.

Never was abused, I don't fall under that, never was hit,

never was molested by anyone.

I was just rebellious.

And I just knew that I had to, I had to be in control of my life

when I was 17 and moved out.

So, when I got into the business,

I had no money, nothing, and I hated that, like--

I hated being in that position, and then when I met somebody and they're,

"Oh, you can make, you know, 500 a day, or 200," whatever.

For an 18-year-old, that was making like, 150 a week

working 40 hours at a job, it was like, "Wow."

You don't need a car like this to take a beautiful woman out.

You're a beautiful woman.

Thank you.

My first scenes that I look back on,

nothing against Ron Jeremy, 'cause he's one of my best friends

and I love him, that was the scariest fucking day of my life.

Looking for...

hot babe with big huge tits

for a loving couple.

Like I really thought I was, you know, going to a magazine or whatever,

and it was a loop, which I-- I didn't know what a loop was at 18.

It turned out it was a porn.

And I'd been doing magazines for like, three or four months.

Um, and it was with Ron Jeremy and another couple.

-[all] Come on. -Please.

Well... Oh, what the fuck.

-[Ron] All right. -[man] Yeah!

And it was just scar-- I don't care who the guy or girl was, it was like,

"Oh, my God, I'm having sex on film."

How-- And I don't mean to be mean,

'cause it turned out great for me but I thought,

"How low has my fucking life sunk?"

Oh, my God! Thank you, Lord. Oh, God.

But then, like, the next time I did a scene and it was with Ginger Lynn.

-Let's take a bath together. -[chuckles] Together in there?

I'd never been with a girl. I was like, "Not only is it with a girl,

but look how cute she is."

It was a whole different vibe on the set. It was...

Like, these really great looking people.

Like I get to have sex with them, and they're paying me.

I felt like a movie star.

I did a lot of firsts on camera--

interracial, gangbang, girls.

I didn't know what was going to happen, but then he introduced me

to this beautiful woman, Catherine.

Well, hurry up and get to the good stuff.

[Christy] Eighties, we made nothing, but fuck, it was fun.

It was fun, learned a lot about sex,

can't put a price tag on that.

Has TV almost gotten you to a point of turning it off?

Well, don't pull that plug, because we're going to turn you on.

[Christy] This business has had more integrity for me.

I don't think you have to sleep your way in po--

At least not in the-- the '80s and '90s.

It's like, they were like, "Oh, my God, a girl wants to fuck on film for $500?

Hire her."

Like, they didn't wanna, like, ruin a good thing

'cause, back in the '80s, very few girls were doing it.

Never made to do a se-- Like a sex act that I wasn't--

I never did anal, I never did DP,

not because there's anything wrong with it, wasn't my choice.

No one said, "Well, we can't hire you if you don't take two dicks up your ass."

No.

In September of 1990

is when I signed my contract with,

what was then known as Vivid Video.

And it was the best move.

I-- I never left.

Because the fucking '90s rocked, money-wise.

I mean, they were amazing.

I never compared myself to anyone. I was my own person.

I didn't have to be number one.

I mean, I kind of was.

Men are only after two things--

pussy and money--

and unfortunately, I've got both.

[laughter]

[Christy] And then, in here is the messy office.

Like, this photo that was taken of me about two years ago.

Oh, that is lovely. No, just kidding. It's like 1985.

This was a big fucking hit, and I made $400 off of it.

And so-- Oh, you know what, this was another great thing--

it's a little dusty-- my action figure doll.

I wouldn't wanna meet that version of me in a dark alley.

Hey, wait, where's that nice young boy?

I was going to give him a tub of Vivid condoms. [chuckles]

That's for you. It's your little party gift.

There you go. Wear them in good health.

It was just a different time. It was innocent. It was underground.

It was hidden. It was wonderful, and it was just a cozy little family.

The one thing that I will never ever get rid of, and it's in my office,

it's a big poster from one of the AVN shows

of all the Vivid girls, Janine, Jenteal...

And we all signed a poster to each other.

See? And that's the thing with me.

That's why I have no bad feelings about this business.

I never took any of it seriously.

It's a sex clinic run by Dr. Phil Lashio.

It was just my job and a fun fucking job.

Who wants to see me fuck the shit out of Steve?

Yes! Yes.

I mean, I took a break for maybe a year.

Came back. I made like, three comebacks.

Every time I got divorced, I'd make a comeback.

As they were like, moving out, I'd be like,

"Time to make a comeback, Steve. Yeah, wait, he's packing up now.

Yeah, okay. I'm ready. Uh-huh. All right.

Yeah, it was great while it lasted. All right.

So, anyway, can you get Tony Tedeschi? I always wanted to have sex with--"

I just didn't miss a beat.

I don't have one complaint about the business.

I loved it. I loved it.

If I could go back in time and do films again under that era,

I would do it in a heartbeat.

I mean, I knew that there was a certain age

where I wanted to hang it up.

[sighs] I don't even know why.

I think 14 years was enough, but I thought,

"What do I want to do after porn ends?"

Annie Cruz, what is your cock fucking choice for the holidays?

Oh, lots of anal.

The new girl today. They will do anything. [chuckles]

So, I felt this warm sensation in my throat and I'm--

"Oh, my God." I wasn't expecting-- I didn't even--

To be honest, I didn't even know what it was.

The majority of men, they like-- they want to fuck a woman's ass.

Wrap their dicks in a little bow and then they can come feed it to me.

-She can do triple vag, triple anal... -[Christy] Okay, now...

To have them face, like their ass facing me.

I want the-- I want the tit-fucking Christmas cocks.

It's going to be like a fuck-a-fan.

[Christy] It's just fun.

It's just a good... Good old like,

I... um, don't know if I can make films again,

and yet, I love the business.

So it just kind of keeps me in the loop.

And I think just through porn and even radio,

I've learned so much more about sex, obviously.

I mean, people call in, and they give me tips sometimes.

Something about a loofah on her boyfriend's dick.

I don't know. I tried it. It was actually good.

Thank you, Bob in Michigan.

This is an entertainment business, and entertainment is tough,

and it's competitive, and it's not particularly fair.

Because people get very excited and they think

it's easy money coming from all directions.

And you can get a quick influx of money when you're brand new,

but you have to make sure that you're sustaining yourself long-term.

Where back in the day, people would shoot one movie

and you would get up to $30,000

for shooting one movie-- it's not like that anymore.

I think the most valuable thing a performer, especially, can do nowadays

is make, produce and own your own content.

I produce my own content, I webcam,

I do custom videos, I do porn.

I do a little bit of camming, I do little bit of everything.

I made an identity out of myself and that was the best thing

that I ever did was trademarking myself and creating a brand.

I think now more than ever, performers really do have

more control over their brands and their success

and their future than ever before.

Having an extra, that extra income

gives you the ability to say,

"You know what, no, I don't wanna shoot that scene.

I'm gonna shoot the type of scenes that I want to shoot and I want to be--

This is the way that I want people to see me."

[Tera Patrick] Boy on a Dolphin, Sophia Loren.

This woman could come out of the ocean.

He was laughing at me, the boy.

He was all gold, so big.

[Tera] She was, in my opinion, and still is

the sultry siren. It was incredible to me.

So I wanted to relive that, and feel that on stage.

And every time, still to this day, it's why I haven't stopped.

[rock music playing]

My father was in the Vietnam War.

He was a hippie. He was drafted over to Vietnam.

Met my mother there. They were both very young and they fell in love fast.

My mother, she did the best she could.

I think that, after ten years,

she saw a bigger world outside of Montana,

and was like, "Arrivederci."

So I was raised by my father.

My father and I, from a very early age,

had a very close relationship.

My dad was into rock and roll, he grew weed,

he was studying to be a winemaker.

You know, he was a bit rogue.

Even if he personally didn't like something,

I knew that I could go home.

So at age 13, we enrolled me

in Barbizon Modeling School, I think just out of necessity.

[all] Welcome to Barbizon. Whoo!

So he said, "She'll go to this modeling school.

These, you know, these people will teach her

everything she needs to know and she'll come out a lady."

And you become a really unique and wholesome person.

Okay, sort of.

I look at these pictures of myself, and I can-- I can tell you

every single picture I've ever taken, where I've been.

I was 15, living abroad, working as a model.

Now this, I think, this would be considered trafficking.

But I remember, and my dad's always said, you know,

the one thing he wanted me to be was fearless.

Paulina Porizkova was the first model

that I can remember being, wow.

And it was because she had been in Playboy.

I had taken-- My dad had that issue of her on the cover.

She was a supermodel, Paulina.

Seeing her in that Playboy really changed it for me, 'cause I realized,

"Wait, you can do both. You can be an elegant woman

and show your body and, you know,

uh, get naked, and it's okay."

You know, the more fashion models that I saw--

Linda Evangelista, Christy Turlington,

this was Yasmeen Ghauri--

this was the height of the supermodel.

There was something missing about them, in my opinion,

and it was that they weren't sexual.

They just didn't-- I always kind of gravitated

to Sophia Loren, Marilyn Monroe.

I liked-- I liked the va-va-voom.

I found myself attracted to women

that were, in my opinion, just uninhibited.

♪ Pa-dam pa-dam pa-tudeli-dam pooh ♪

[Tera] You're really treated...

If you don't work,

we have 10,000 other girls.

It's not ten, it's not five, it's 10,000 other girls.

So, I gave up modeling. I came to Los Angeles.

I wanted to pursue working as a nurse anesthetist.

I had applied at school here.

[man] I was just thinking that you might be a model. Are you?

No, I'm a student. Can't you tell?

-Oh... -Yeah, I just came home from school.

Playboy was doing one of their "Girls of the Campus,"

or I don't even remember the exact title.

And I can remember going through the Playboy Studio West in Santa Monica.

It's kind of the first taste I had had of...

They brought me champagne.

Marilyn said, "You're great."

I went to the mansion a week later. I'm like,

"You know what, hmm, nursing just isn't gonna cut it anymore."

You're-- You get a taste of this amazing life.

It was ten star, you had publicity.

They took such good care of us.

I'm the only woman who's been featured on the cover of Pent--

I was Penthouse Pet of the Year in February of 2002,

and Playboy, on the cover of Playboy, the same month.

The crazy thing is, so, the gateway to porn for me was Playboy.

How could I not get into the business?

I was introduced in the most incredible way.

And... I mean, I didn't have to do a six-guy bukkake, right?

It was like, I went to Playboy.

If some girls aren't even college educated, this is a dream.

I had a college degree and I wasn't making

even a quarter of the money, so why was I going to continue?

My first crush in porn was Janine Lindemulder.

And I'll always remember, she wore jeans,

blue jeans and a white tank top with no bra.

She was smiling so big, and she came over and hugged me.

And I was like, "This is-- This is where I need to be.

This is it. I'm-- I'm in."

I feel like this is a fantasy and I'm making it come true.

Yeah, and even better if you took off that part,

that-- the-- the top bra thing.

[Tera] I realized, if I'm getting into this,

I have to make it worth my while.

Once you've had a dick in your mouth,

you can never go back.

You can't un-ring the bell.

Tera Patrick in the flesh.

There goes anonymity.

In a way, I think that, early on in my career,

I explored a lot of my sexuality.

So, I think anal was the hardest thing.

I can't believe I whispered that "anal."

You know, I mean, it was taboo a little bit.

I mean, it was kind of like,

"Okay, now she's gonna do anal," you know.

Um, actually, for me, what was a big deal, was I never did girl-girl.

Ooh, it's hot in here. Could we take off all our clothes? My God.

So, when I did my first girl-girl scene in 2003,

and of course, it was with a really beautiful woman, Savannah...

uh, with Vivid, for Tera, Tera, Tera.

Tera, Tera, Tera.

It was a great experience for me, but I was ready.

I never did anything that I didn't want to do, ever.

We're out and open with what we do.

I've always said, "Why do you think I wasn't in mainstream?

I have my own production." [imitates buzzer]

You know, I'm making my own money. I'm doing what I want to do.

I don't want to do mainstream.

I like sucking dick. That's what I'm famous for.

I didn't cure cancer, you know what I mean?

I-- I'm famous for being Tera Patrick.

And I can remember being in Cannes.

And I was on the red carpet, too, and I had a police escort.

And people, uh, they knew me, they were waiting for pictures.

They were waiting, and I said, "They've all seen my pussy."

My pussy made it to Europe.

So, how I ended up, uh,

with Teravision and on my own in the porn business,

starting from 2003,

until I retired in 2009,

was, uh, I became a feature dancer.

And this was what bankrolled my company.

I went on the road as a feature dancer,

where we performed, uh, striptease shows in clubs.

We made money, and I would go home

and use that money to fund my movies.

The sales from my movies-- half went into living,

the other half went into savings.

We made a lot more money, per movie, per scene.

A lot of us got residuals,

a lot of us owned our content, owned our company.

We had many ways to exploit our revenue.

I look at my body of work and Teravision,

my website-- I, I made beautiful work.

I mean, listen, we're not shooting Othello, you know?

Uh, the dialogue doesn't have to be perfect.

Get the cock in the mouth, the cum shot on the face and we're good.

So, is there anything else I can get you guys?

I can't think of anything.

Yeah, what in the world could we possibly want after that?

The opportunity to work in Italy came up.

And I said, "Italy, this is the most beautiful country in the world.

The best food, wine.

I mean, yeah, I-- I'm gone. I'm going."

Anything to do with food or money

is what I learned first in Italian,

because you have to eat and you have to get paid.

And so the first phrase I learned was

[speaks Italian]

Pay me now.

I signed a contract to do feature shows.

My very first feature show,

my now-husband Alberto had come from day one.

Of course, I wanted to sit on his face,

you know, and this beautiful Italian accent, and--

But he fascinated me.

This is an open-minded man.

I think to even jump in the water

and see what it would be like to swim with me for a while,

yeah, it takes balls.

[whispering] I think I feel this one. Watch, y'all.

Okay. Here we go.

[Tera] I love the business. I love my life now.

I'm just gonna... I'm gonna keep camming.

I'm gonna keep my websites, I'm gonna keep featuring.

I'm never gonna stop. I'm a pervert.

I'm never gonna stop, uh, dancing and performing on stage.

And so, maybe that's when it's gonna end,

maybe that's when porn is gonna end.

When they stop throwing the dollars. I hope not.

Guys, come to Cheerleaders next month.

I don't know if the analogy is the same,

but I feel like it's almost like being a professional athlete.

You have a few good years, in my opinion, physically,

to do what you want,

to make your mark, to make your splash.

And then I wanted to go out gracefully.

This was something that early on I said,

"I can't do this till I'm 50, and I don't want to."

But I am so grateful, and I always will be,

because I've been retired for 10 years

and I still sell in webcam.

And I have thousands of website members.

My life in the adult business has not resulted

in anything negative for me.

Have I hit some speed bumps?

Had a lawsuit?

Fucked the wrong guy a few times? Sure.

But I'm not damaged to a point

where I'm bankrupt, destitute,

and trying to figure out,

"What do I want to do with my life?"

It's a movie industry combined with sex, nothing more.

It is what you make of it. It's an artistic medium

that is meant to draw out a reaction from people--

turned on, angry, whatever it is, it's working.

I really... unlocked a piece of my sexuality

that, um, that was hidden before I got here,

and porn really helped open it up and it's built me confidence.

It's definitely not where you should learn how to have sex,

the same way that you wouldn't watch a Wes Craven movie

and then feel like you have to go slaughter a teenager in a camp,

uh, in summer wear-- wearing a hockey mask.

-You know what I mean? -So specific.

Now, so, what should we talk about?

[laughs]

Nina gave me one of the best compliments

when I was put into the whole thing,

She said, "Herschel Savage--

steel wrapped in skin, that was his cock." I love that.

[man] That's an unbelievably--

That's a great compliment coming from Nina Hartley. Come on.

Can you believe it? Sometimes, horses have wings, baby.

You know, like, I would've taken an extra inch,

but I was happy with what I had.

I mean, I never competed with anybody. I was not one of those guys, you know.

I literally had young porn stars

come on the set and tell me shit like,

"I could cum eight times in a day. I got a nine-inch dick."

I said, "Nice to meet you. Get the fuck out of my face."

No, I didn't say that, but still, I mean, you know,

people try to promote themselves as--

You know, give me a break, man. Just say hello.

I'm looking for the manager. You must be him. What's your name?

-You're the manager, right? -Uh, uh...

Uh, yeah. Uh, hi.

-[chuckles] What's your name? -Uh...

Uh, uh, Boom. Uh, uh, Bada Boom.

[man] How often did you actually have an orgasm?

On film?

Are you asking me how often I had an orgasm on film?

-Is that a real question? -Well, versus faking.

Uh, that's my job is to have an orgasm, to maintain an erection,

get the footage, and... have an orgasm, cum.

[man] A lot of people, like Tera said she faked it. Like--

Well, well, a woman can fake it. I mean, most women in the business

probably aren't cumming. I mean, that's--

But-- But they don't have to. Guys have to. We're doing real work.

I mean, it's-- It's hard to believe having an orgasm on camera is work,

but there's some, uh, physical, uh, strain to it.

But no, guys don't... Guys don't like-- I mean, yeah,

"Herschel, we, we need you to fuck three girls today, but please don't cum."

"Okay, no problem."

I don't care how you do it, but you have got to make this girl cum,

and when she does, I want you to have this beaker ready

and catch every single drop.

[man] And to reiterate, nobody ever told you to hold your orgasm

for a couple of days to make it more prodigious?

Uh... no.

[laughs] No one ever asks me to

hold off on cumming for a couple of days,

so I could have a prodigious ejaculate.

No, no one ever did that. They assume that you--

All men in the business have these amazing powers and abilities.

But no, we don't. No, no one ever asked that.

I have never had

a sexual relationship with any of the White House interns.

[Herschel] I played Bill Clinton

in a, in a scene, uh, with Monica Lewinsky.

Monica was played by Aja, the beautiful Aja.

And I must say, I mean, I got a blowjob under the desk

while I'm being interviewed on camera as Bill Clinton,

and she was-- She just didn't stop.

When they cut camera, she kept blowing me. She was the best.

It was an amazing blowjob, it was so great.

Just send me the dry cleaning charge, honey.

-What am I doing? Straight? -Uh, we're gonna get on the freeway.

-West? -Ah, you're gonna go east.

-We're gonna go back towards the house. -East. All right.

I'm having a good time. I just want to let you know you're doing a good job.

-I hope you're enjoying the-- -Are you? Are you having a good time?

[Herschel] I think, generally speaking, my scenes are hot,

because of the connection I have with the women.

It's hot. It's hot stuff, man. I think, anyway.

I'd really like to finish those planter boxes tomorrow.

I was never real-- really kinky. I was more of a romantic.

I mean, I just loved kissing and...

For me, it was like a romantic adventure.

I mean, you had to still make it hot, but for the most part,

those are private, intense connections with that woman.

So, when I, when I watch a scene that I'm in,

I'm reliving that moment with that woman

'cause that was so significant to me and so strong.

Stay a while. Talk.

Honey, if I stay, we won't be talking.

It wasn't even performing, it wasn't performing for me,

it was like, I was, I was...

I was with... I was with somebody.

It was like...

It was like a universal snuggle, man.

It was great. I'm with you, you know. It's fucking great.

You know, you're really beautiful, I mean, really attractive.

I-- I quit the first time in '87. Came back in '97.

And the difference between women

from the '80s to the '90s was unbelievable.

It was like model-quality young women.

I mean, you know. I mean, it was just like...

[scoffs] I was selling videotapes during my retirement period,

realizing I'm never gonna have sex with this woman, you know.

-They got a Jamba Juice-- -Nice ass.

[man] You've a great eye still. You still got it.

I do.

-You look really great. -[woman] Oh, thank you.

Light shining behind your head. You look like, like an angel.

As we can see in the, uh, normal entertainment industry,

how at risk women are to men especially

who use their power to take advantage of them.

Every woman is hit on, whether they're in the adult industry or not.

And certainly, it's going to be more likely if they're encountering

many of the pigs that populate this industry.

"Oh, you wanna work?" You know, it's like, "Give me a blow--"

I mean, it's like, "I'm gonna be blowing somebody, anyway,"

"You're gonna be doing this anyway, I just want to see

how you are," you know. It's bullshit.

Everyone becomes objectified,

and you don't see a woman as a person,

and that's a sickness.

When you're only dealing with the sex

and the need of that, it's-- you're an empty vessel.

It's a massage parlor scene.

And I come in and I play the role

of a guy who's coming in for a massage,

and she just is pulling--

We don't actually have intercourse.

She gives me a shower, masturbates me, and blows me.

This was one of my-- one of the hottest scenes ever--

I-- I masturbate to that scene.

I'm sorry, I have to have some kind of life.

Anyway, that's a hot scene. Check that one out.

As I spoke of earlier, this is the scene

I just love to watch called Soapy Massage,

and I am the shy massage parlor customer

coming for a normal everyday massage.

But she is starting to grab my thigh.

And she's just, I mean-- Can you see this?

I'm reacting in horror. "Oh, my God, what are you doing?

Oh, no, I-- I-- I shouldn't be doing this.

I'm just here to have my muscles worked out."

My shirt's off, I shouldn't be shocked anymore. I...

What I should be shocked at, is that I wasn't going to the gym

for three years, that's what I should be shocked about.

But, uh, but here we go. You know, I kind of feel embarrassed

being with you people and doing an interview,

and now my cock's coming out.

You know, so, it's almost like, you know--

It's like forcing your close friend, Bob,

to watch your dick getting sucked.

It's weird. Kind of weird.

People have been against me from day one. Do you... do you see me?

Here I stand, go ahead. Try it, I dare you.

That's the thing that this industry has taught me. Ball--

I have balls. Let me tell you.

And I'm very proud of my big balls. Because you know what? I know who I am.

To be in adult entertainment doesn't have to be a stigma.

It doesn't have to be a dark, seedy, evil place. I'm very proud of myself.

I'm honest about what I, what I do,

who I am, and how it is when you're with me.

Hopefully, you want to come along for the ride.

And if not, then there's another bus or train

or something down, down the way you can hop on,

but hopping on me is always fun.

[Jenteal] I wanted to build a Jenteal-pire.

[moaning, panting]

I wanted to build an empire of my own.

My goal was to have a million dollars in the bank

free and clear by the time I hit 30.

[man] All right. First of all, I want to know,

what makes you do videos? How come you're here?

My boyfriend and I were very interested in watching porn.

Um, I was very interested in girls.

I had a huge crush on Janine.

She was one of the girls that we always looked for

when we went to the adult bookstore.

You know, it's always kind of in the back of my mind, what would that be like?

It's easy. You just, you just do what you feel.

Never did I think that would come to fruition.

Look what the cat dragged in.

There was an ad in, uh, one of the Berkeley school papers

that was looking for nude models.

I'd seen the ad for-- for months and months on end.

And then, when I turned 18, my boyfriend was like,

"You know, you need to call that ad."

You know, I wanted to explore that more.

And he really wanted me to explore that more. [laughs]

So, the ad was run by a man named Dan Barros, who became my agent.

Uh, he had a small little production company

called Wildfire Productions.

And, um, a star was born.

[man] Are you an exhibitionist? You like to be watched?

I-- I think that being watched can be a turn-on at one point.

[man] Well, you're being watched now. [laughter]

And will be watched by several people, several thousand.

I only worked with girls in the beginning because I didn't wanna work with guys.

Like I only wanted to work with girls. Uh, I was really curious about it.

Oh, yes.

[moans] Good girl.

So, I mean, it had only been six months, nine months, maybe.

Um, I'd worked with all of the girls I ever wanted to work with.

Um, and Vivid had always told me, when I was on their set, uh, that

if you ever want to work with men, we will sign you to a contract.

So, I wanted more money. [laughs]

Three hundred dollars?

And, uh, I knew that I could get a lot more money working with guys.

[dramatic theme playing for logo]

[transitions to rock theme]

I mean, being a Vivid girl was a huge accolade.

I felt really special that they wanted to sign me.

And they reassured me that I'd have control over who I worked with

and that I could insist on condoms.

And when I signed with Vivid, uh, my first boy-girl scene

was in Dangerous Games with Alex Sanders.

He was my first guy.

[Jenteal] I don't like that kind of talk. I don't like it at all.

Can you believe these lines?

[Jenteal] Vivid was definitely, uh, the company to work for.

It was sought after by everybody in the business.

And they sort of

were the elite girls, it felt like--

You know, it was all of the classics.

It was Janine, Christy Canyon,

myself, Nikki Tyler, Racquel Darrian.

Everybody wanted to be a Vivid girl.

To be successful, as in any business in any industry, you have to be unique

and do something different, and market yourself in a different way.

[Jenteal] Steve Hirsch was really big on advertising in a mainstream way.

And for a time, he had us all 17 feet tall,

on Sunset Boulevard, right above Tower Records.

And that was huge. You know, no other adult company

had done anything like that before.

Vivid did so many different things in their movies, you know, with costumes

and with locations that I had a bunch of really unique experiences.

I know you don't know this yet, but...

it's a very big world out there.

Over my 21st birthday, we were in Hawaii shooting for Vivid and for Playboy.

And those two movies that I did in Hawaii were awesome.

Hi, I'm Eve.

The locations were just superb. I felt really pretty.

My boyfriend was really, uh, perfectly okay with the industry.

He was perfectly okay with me working with guys in movies.

I got into the business with my boyfriend

And, uh, we got married about five years later.

And then six months later, when I got pregnant,

uh, I stopped everything-- I stopped nude modeling, dancing.

Um, I'd pretty much been done with films already.

Um, but for me, that was it.

[dramatic theme playing]

I definitely knew I didn't wanna be a part of the industry

and be pregnant, or raising two children.

I was born, I felt, to be a mother first and foremost,

and, uh, my accomplishments in the industry

and with my business were just secondary,

but for me, uh, being a mother was it,

and I didn't want to have to juggle the two.

I, honestly, after doing so much in the business

and being, uh, made up so glamorously for so many years

and all the travel and everything, I just really wanted to be a basic bitch.

I wanted a-- a flat salary, I wanted to know my hours

and... and that was it.

So, um, when I was at Trader Joe's,

I-- I hurt my back really bad, um, lifting some milk crates

and had to have two back surgeries.

That was in 2009.

And, uh, I've had this injury since then, despite the surgeries.

Thank you all for coming. Uh...

I really just wanted an opportunity to, um, open up

the discussion about the oil and share my experience

and see if you have any questions.

Not that long ago, a girlfriend, uh, posted something

on her Facebook page regarding CBD oil.

And, um, I'd heard that it helps people, you know,

heal cancer. I've heard that it helps with, um,

with a lot of other illnesses and ailments.

And so, I was really curious.

I just knew that, with my back injury,

you know, this was something that was really going to help me.

And I was very, very interested

in where the business is going, so I got involved.

Uh, I don't really feel like my past ever was, um--

It never brought any tumultuousness to my life.

There are certain people that certainly don't agree with it and have opinions.

Um, their opinions are their business,

and they've never really been imposed on me.

So, uh, I felt like I got away pretty unscathed in that regard, actually.

Just having been a fan of porn, I would definitely say

that the porn shot in the '90s was far superior

than, uh, than what's shot today.

And, um, I definitely think, just from a fan's perspective,

that the porn then was...

That was a golden era.

That little honey pot of my life in my early 20s

was really, uh, that had a lot packed into it, though.

There was a lot that I experienced, I mean, a ton.

I probably lived more life in those five years

than most 50-year-old's have their entire life.

The juice was worth the squeeze, and, uh, I wrang that fucker dry, dude.

[chuckles]

[Alex] I feel like people frequently think that I'm just a sex object,

and I'm not. I'm a person.

And, like, I've literally had guys that-- I was just hanging out,

and they just took their dick out, expecting me to do something with it.

We need to stop shaming people for being in porn. There's no reason

to shame people for being in porn.

It's a legitimate business. It's a real business.

It's a billion-dollar business.

[Romi] Everybody always says, "Like, well, you're in porn,

you're in adult entertainment, people are never gonna forget it.

They're gonna remember this forever. You are a porn star for life."

And I always thought, "Well, use that,

and if you're going to be in adult entertainment anyway,

try to be the best version of yourself you can be.

Try to be as successful as possible.

So then, when you look back on your career,

you're not looking back on it with regrets."

Take a breath in, bring your ears up in line with your shoulders

so your neck is in line with your spine.

That's it. Draw your shoulders back.

[Bonnie] So, I went to this person's house,

and I had one drink.

And after that one drink, I remember nothing,

and woke up the next morning to my IDs

and a consent form on the nightstand.

And that was when I shot my first film.

[woman] Every time you exhale, watch what you can let go of more.

[Bonnie] Physical, mental,

the exhalation is a process of letting go.

[thunder crashing]

My mother, um, she didn't raise me, she left me

when I was probably two months old.

And we haven't really had a relationship

since then, and my father was in prison my entire life.

Uh, my grandparents raised me

from four until I was, you know, 16 years old.

I grew up with my grandfather.

My grandfather and grandmother actually separated--

they're my mother's parents.

So, my grandfather raised me. I grew up at the horse track with him.

I grew up, uh, just in the country.

When I was 13, I lost my virginity to a boyfriend, and we were in school.

He was-- I was in eighth, eighth grade, he was in seventh grade.

And my best friend went to church

and told all of my family that I lost my virginity.

And then the next day, I went to school

to beat up my best friend for, you know,

that issue and, uh, was then removed from school and kicked out of school.

And that was what perpetuated me leaving school at eighth grade.

And once that all had happened, where I lost my virginity

and moved out from my grand--

my grandmother's back into my grandfather's,

I started tattooing myself.

So, this is a 13-hour tattoo, I got it when I was 15.

My back, I kinda wanted to do like a freak show thing

because it's-- you know, we're all freaks.

Sinatra's everywhere, and I have to carry him with me everywhere.

I did this zombie pinup, and I named her Bonnie Rotten.

And, um, I ended up being me, very quickly.

I was very heavily tattooed by the time I was about 17.

[rock music playing]

I started doing car shows, horror shows,

different expos in the Midwest, and that kind of like,

started my modeling career, and I invented Bonnie Rotten.

I'm 21 years old. I don't need my mommy and daddy

worrying about me. Thanks.

You know what? I think you're involved in some bad stuff.

Bad stuff, like what?

[screaming]

Fuck! Ow! You're a fucking cunt! [screams]

[Bonnie] The genre of horror for me was so important.

It was almost like a fantasy.

Even though it was horror and kind of like, crazy and scary,

it still was that fantasy world for me that I could really enjoy,

just like people do with porn.

[loud bang]

My first visit to California happened because I was working a horror expo.

And they had a pageant for a magazine,

and I competed in the pageant, and I won the pageant.

So the prize was like, we'll fly you out to California

and shoot this layout for our magazine.

So, I did it, and came out here and shot the magazine,

and kind of met some connections in the porn industry.

So, I'd actually met someone that was

on a podcast at the friend's that I was staying at while I was in town.

So, I went to this person's house, and I had one drink.

And after that one drink, I remember nothing.

And that was when I shot my first film.

You look at him, he has the devil in his soul.

I don't think that about most people.

Scary, very scary.

But he was the only person that I encountered

in the business that was like that.

After that, I had the best experiences that I could possibly have.

So, when I came into the industry, I was told by the bigger companies, like,

"We can't shoot you. Like, you have too many tattoos.

We don't know what to do with you."

So, I was introduced to someone at a company

uh, called New Sensations, and because of them,

they opened the gate for tattooed girls

to be accepted into mainstream porn companies.

I was accepted with that movie, Meet Bonnie.

Hi, my name is Bonnie Rotten. I'm 19.

I just turned 19 three weeks ago.

It was nominated for a bunch of awards the first year I was in the business.

I was nominated for Best New Starlet, like, three months in.

[man] How many awards are you nominated for tonight?

Uh, 14.

-And the winner is... Bonnie Rotten. -[audience cheering]

[Bonnie] And then after that, that was it.

Everybody shot me, everybody started hiring me.

Everybody started putting me on box covers.

And then it kind of just took off from there.

-[man] Rambone! -Colonel, I didn't expect to see you here.

Rambone, I need you to abort this mission immediately, soldier.

[Bonnie] So, I was shooting 10 to 15 times a month,

featuring one to two-- one to three weekends a month.

[male announcer over P.A.] Internationally famous

Bonnie Rotten is in the building.

[Bonnie] I got to experience a lot.

-[man 1] Bonnie, how you doing? -I'm awesome. How are you?

[man 2] We're doing great. This is hard, I don't know where to put my eyes.

[laughs] Right here.

[cheering]

[man 1] Say hi to to the husband behind you!

[exclaiming]

One of my most favorite parts of my career was when I got to travel

to Switzerland and Germany, and I did like, basically a world tour.

I can't go to sleep because I'm excited,

and I just want to see everything, and I want to go eat,

and I want to eat all the food, and I want to try everything.

And I want to do everything. I want to do everything!

Well, I started, um, in South Africa,

and did something called Sexpo in Johannesburg.

Went from there to Switzerland

to shoot a movie called Roller Girl.

And went to Hungary to shoot with Rocco Siffredi.

And we did Bonnie vs. Rocco, which was insane.

And it was the best time of my life. I got a couple of tattoos--

the Berlin bear, and the Swiss flag...

and the bull from Barcelona.

I really wanted to make porn art.

You know, 'cause I was shooting so much, and I was always involved

in these things, and I was like, "These guys,

like, they bring us in their-- their apartment, or their whatever,

and they have us shoot on their couch in these mansions.

But these could be so cool."

Like I have all these ideas. Fuck it, I'm going to do it.

I put together Anal Candy Disco Chicks.

Anal Candy Disco Chicks. Can you get a picture?

[rock theme playing]

Afros, buckets of gumballs, it was insane.

And then after that, I directed Cape Fear

and I also starred in it as Robert De Niro.

The people call Samantha Bowden.

Do you swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth and nothing but the truth, God help your soul?

While using my friend's boat, in Marina del Rey,

and trying to make sure that none of the mahogany

and nothing was like messed up by the crew, it was intense.

I made zero money. I lost money, but it was fun.

-[gunshot] -[screams]

Yeah, and I learned, okay, this is crazy and this is fun.

But you know, people kinda want simpler stuff,

so, let's kind of dumb down production and give 'em what they want.

The thing about the industry is, you're 18 years old,

and you're making 30, 40 grand a month.

You don't know what to do with that money at 18 years old. It's insane.

So that money is very short lived and you're not taught what to do with it.

But luckily, I did start a sex toy company that I owned myself.

One of the coolest things was, um, these action figures,

and they fashioned an action figure from every inch of your body.

It was completely insane.

Every detail, every tattoo, every curl in my hair showed up on this little doll.

And we started selling them online, and they were doing really great.

And people had like, little Bonnie figurines, or they could have big ones.

When I left the industry, I'd actually met my second husband,

who I had my daughter with.

You know, I was kind of looking for an out,

because I'd won Performer of the Year the year before,

I had outperformed myself,

'cause if you know anything about my films, like,

I always did the craziest stuff,

and there was really nothing more that I could do

that was any crazier than what I was doing,

without it being a circus act, or me not enjoying it.

I like to carry myself a certain way because I know

that as soon as I walk into a room, I'm looked at a certain way.

Even with the moms at school, like, I'm-- I don't like for them

to get to know me too much because I don't like to lie

about my past or who I was.

And I don't want to compromise my daughter's life,

or her safety, or her well-being with her friends at school

because of my past and what the parents think of me.

I want for her to have

the easiest, safest...

structured life that she can possibly have.

There's been some talk about, like, me returning to the industry,

but because of my daughter, I don't think that I would.

Just because I want to be able to say that I walked away when I had her

and didn't have to return.

[woman] Exhale, jump back.

Low down, inhale, cobra.

[Bonnie] I'm very sensitive when it comes to emotions

and things like that because of the things that have happened to me--

abandonment, those things. I'm...

I really don't want her to ever feel that way.

So, I'm just very hands-on with her,

and very attentive, and she's my world.

I was a very extreme, you know,

tattooed, hardcore girl when I performed.

But in my life, I'm a very sweet, loving, generous person,

and most people wouldn't think that about me at all just by looking at me.

Don't ever judge a book by its cover-- you never know

who that person may be on the inside,

and you never know where that person may take you.

[Luc] You need to realize that what goes on

in the adult industry is created for your entertainment.

It's not reality.

[woman] Oh, hold it out.

-[digital camera beeping] -[woman] Don't go in. Like that, yeah.

[Luc] Reality is bumping up against people.

It's having sex.

It's feeling that moment

of connection between two people.

-[laughs] Right? -That's right.

[man laughs]

[Luc] The digital world can be very, very isolating

and dividing, if we allow it to be.

[Alexandra] Yes, what's the solution, though?

It's like we just need to make better choices.

Let's choose to kiss and hug instead of...

[Alexandra giggles]

Well, and turn it off.

-Turn-- Or turn it on. -It should be turned off and on.

-On. -[both laughing]

[rock music playing]

[dramatic theme playing]