Original subtitles

(opening theme playing)

It's no use, sparkle-face.

We'll be trapped in this candy dungeon forever!

Don't give up, butterbean.

-(laughing) -(whooping)

Great. Right in the middle of the best part of pretty pretty pegasus.

(chuckles) and so I kicked another dirt monster into a furnace,

And then I was all, "I bet that really burns you up."

(laughs) it's like a metaphor.

Boo-yah!

(laughing) that's too much, dude.

He didn't hear me though. He was on fire.

(chomping)

(mumbles) ah, boo-yah!

Ah, seriously?

You guys eat like animals.

Oh, that's so good.

What, raven?

Well, I guess you get a pass.

But you two are disgusting.

Hmm, sorry.

It's just robin makes the best sandwiches.

It's true.

I've developed a sandwich design

That will take your mouth on a flavor journey.

A flavor journey worth a journey of its own.

Oh, yeah. I'd crawl over a hundred miles

Of broken glass for this sandwich.

I'd drive across the country in a car that smelled

Like cyborg's pee, all for this sandwich. Ha-ha.

Ain't no mountain high enough

To keep me away from this sandwich.

Well, yeah, I'd do some, uh,

Incredibly difficult stuff for that sandwich, actually.

So, you're saying, you'd leave this tower,

If I told you where to find a good sandwich?

Sure, but it would have to be a legendary sandwich,

Like mine.

There is an ancient sandwich of power,

Hidden away from those who would use its power for evil.

(laughs) okay, first of all,

That's dumb and you made it up.

Second, even if it is true,

My sandwiches are the best, period.

Oh, but it is true.

Behold.

Oh, is it story time?

Raven: In an age long forgotten,

An old king summoned his sandwich wizard.

The king commanded him to create a sandwich of power.

The sandwich wizard labored in his tower for six days.

On the seventh,

He brought the sandwich before the king,

And it was glorious.

It would grant him eternal life.

So he could rule his kingdom forever.

It was also delicious.

-All: Ooh! -Cool.

Delicious?

Raven: One night, the prince betrayed the king,

And tried to steal the sandwich.

The old king was heart-broken.

He realized the sandwich was too powerful.

It had to be destroyed.

So the ingredients were hidden away

In the far corners of the world.

Watched by the fierce sandwich guardians.

Legend says, it can be reforged

If all the ingredients are brought together.

We got to get that sandwich.

Oh, man! I want to eat it twice.

The sandwich will look beautiful in my hair.

No way can it top my sandwich science.

What are we waiting for?

Titans, go!

Finally.

We have to get the candy keys from gumdrop goblin.

Or we'll never make it

To princess puffball's birthday party.

Hey, raven.

Uh, I thought you were making a sandwich.

We have no idea where to look.

There are four ingredients.

The mystical bacon is here on the lava lake.

I got the heat resistors, baby.

(whirring)

I'm on it.

Raven: The next ingredient is the king's lettuce, buried deep underground.

I can dig it.

(chittering)

Raven: The next ingredient is the stellar tomato.

Hidden among the stars.

I shall retrieve the tomato.

Okay, let's do this.

I assume you saved the most dangerous ingredient

For the leader of the titans.

Oh, yes, the last ingredient is pretzel bread.

It can be found...

At the supermarket.

Here is a coupon.

(beeping)

With the candy keys,

We'll be able to make princess puffball's birthday

Where all dreams come true.

You rock, butterbean.

Let's see.

According to that ancient map,

It should be right around here.

(beeping)

Boo-yah!

(beeping)

Too easy, baby.

Whoa! Sandwich guardian.

(clanging)

Uh-huh, I'm digging,

I'm digging, digging like a pro, yo.

Digging, dig... (sniffing)

Oh, yeah, lettuce.

I'm so close, I can smell it.

Awesome. (laughing)

Ahhh! Sandwich guardian dude.

(whirring)

This must be the containment vessel for the tomato.

How did anyone manage to transport this earth fruit to the lylap system?

-Ah! -(crunching)

This is an excessive use of force, sir.

(squeaking)

(rattling)

Ah!

Whoa!

-(groans) -(crashing)

(wheezes)

I need some pretzel bread. The freshest you've got. Make it quick.

This place is really bumming me out.

(groans)

You are gonna need a drink of water with this hot sauce, baby.

Oh, it's on now.

Give me that bacon.

(buzzing)

Looks, you're pretty angry, huh?

Whoa!

Hey, we cool, man!

(roaring)

Okay, dude.

Let's talk about this face to face.

(crashing)

(energy pulsating)

(grunting)

I am thinking perhaps

This is too much trouble for a tomato.

(muzak playing)

I mean, some people prefer swords or, like, lasers.

But I like to use this staff.

See? Just... (grunting)

Right on the head.

The knee, crack! Clavicle... Whatever!

Really gets the job done.

(cracks)

My arm!

(sizzles)

My hair!

My teeth!

(muzak playing)

(roaring)

(energy pulsating)

(muzak playing)

(squeaking)

(muzak playing)

(snoring)

(cheering)

(choir music playing)

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Whatever.

Raven: Oh, look, sparkle-face. It's licorice forest.

Isn't that place full of trolls?

Don't be silly, sparkle-face.

It's the home of our new friend.

Princess silkiesoft.

Nice to meet you, princess silkiesoft.

Your hair sure is...

Bad, silkie.

-Hmm. -(elevator dings)

(computer powers down)

You're back already?

Dude, those sandwich guardians were

Way tougher than we thought.

Yeah, no kidding, but look.

You mean the legend's actually true?

This sandwich better be worth it.

You know how long it's gonna take me

To build a new hand with one hand?

Wow, the supermarket was brutal.

I barely made it out of there alive.

Hey, starfire.

I like what you did with your hair.

What?

Now I will speak the ancient legendary sandwich words of power.

(chanting)

(whirring)

The key to immortality,

And a delicious lunch.

Eh, my sandwiches still look better.

Well, as team leader, and sandwich expert,

I should get the first bite.

(stuttering) hold on now.

I lost an arm for this sandwich.

I get first dibs.

But I lost my hair.

Surely that is more important than a hand.

I should get the first of bites.

Dudes, I should get the first bite.

I got the worst of it.

Look at this.

How are you gonna eat with no teeth?

You gonna gum the sandwich down?

(all arguing)

-Silkie, stop. -Mama's little bumgorf, no!

(sobbing) that's not for you.

(choir music playing)

(belches loudly)

I told you that sandwich wasn't great.

So, anyone want to watch pretty pretty pegasus?

(beast boy growling)

What is that?

A birthday gift for cyborg.

I'm drawing him as a dog,

And me as a robot.

Okay, and you think he's gonna like it?

As his best friend in the whole world,

I always know exactly what he wants.

Hey, beast bud. You hungry?

Watch this.

You know, I kinda feel like having...

-Pie, perhaps? -How did you know?

It's my job to know.

And 'cause I love pie, too!

When I say "I want" you say, "pie"

-I want... -Pie!

-I want... -Pie!

When I say, "yummy" you say, "pie"

-Yummy... -Pie!

-Yummy... -Pie!

-Apple, peach -rhubarb, or pear

Any kind, we don't care

-I love pie -yeah, I love pie

Oh, we love, love, love love, love pie

(laughs) yeah, dude. Warm pie.

I need a slice.

Yup, he is gonna love my gift.

(humming)

Time to get our pie on.

You guys really like pie.

Who doesn't?

Ooh, whatcha got there?

Mmm.

Oh, wow, blueberry.

Uh, gross.

Relax, I just washed my hands.

And I've lost my appetite.

The mother mae eye makes the best pies

In all of jump city.

(angelic music playing)

I wonder what her secret is.

I hear she bakes people into her pies.

(all laughing)

Someone's been reading too many fairy tales.

(sighs)

No, I suspect the secret ingredient is love.

Time we talked about something really important.

-This guy's birthday! -(cheering)

Oh, yes. I have decided to plan

Cyborg's day of birth festivities myself.

No offense, starfire,

But maybe someone else should plan this party.

-Oh, please allow me. -(crunching)

I promise I will learn all of the proper earth customs.

Well, the party can be lame.

As long as the presents aren't.

And you best believe I know

Exactly what my best friend wants.

I bet it's not that new video game that a certain

Cybernetic organism has been dropping hints about.

-Video game? -(shattering)

Ah, it's totally the new game.

The really expensive one.

The one you should know I can never afford.

Yup, that's what I got you.

And that's why you're my best friend.

(belching)

(loudly belching)

And that's why you're my best friend.

But I can't afford the game.

Then get a job, you bum.

I will get a job.

For you, cyborg window hallucination.

Oh, wow. Bubbles.

(laughs)

And that, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

Is why he is guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt.

-(whispering) -what?

I'm supposed to be defending him?

(chuckling nervously)

Oh.

Oh, gross!

Gross, gross, gross! What's that squiggly thing?

You mean that's what's inside of people?

(squeals)

Starfire: After much research,

I have decided to hold the festivities for cyborg here.

That's actually a good choice.

Ooh! I also made these for the party.

-(meowing) -(barking)

Robin: Ah, balloon animals.

Correct.

And there will be a game called,

"pin the tail on the donkey."

Do you think this spike will be sufficient

For tail-pinning?

Uh, yeah. That's about right.

-(knees knocking) -(braying)

Hey, you okay, beast boy?

Oh, man!

It's just... I can't afford the present

That cyborg really wants.

Friends don't care about how much money you spend.

Just that you put some thought into it.

(door opens)

Whaddup, titans?

Which reminds me.

Hey, cyborg. I thought I'd give you

Your birthday gift a little early.

Your gift to me is a half drunk soda?

What?

Not expensive enough for you, fancy pants?

You know, I'd like to think it's the thought that counts.

(whispering) we cheapos need to stick together.

(humming)

(vomiting)

(door opens)

(laughing)

Nice hat.

Whew. Comedy gold.

Just trying to make a few extra bucks

For something important.

Whatever they're paying you, it's not enough.

(laughing)

(cackling)

Oh!

Oh, my goodness!

Whew!

(laughing)

Oh, my goodness.

Anyways, I'm just making sure my best friend

Is gonna be at my party.

Not dressed like that, of course.

About that, uh...

-I have to work Friday. -What!

It's my birthday.

(stammering) if I don't work, I can't...

I mean, you won't have... Look, I just...

I can't be there.

You are making less sense than usual.

What I'm trying to say is that I'll be there, but...

I'll be working.

Oh, I see.

So basically, making a few extra bucks

Is more important than your pal.

(sobbing) well, do not take my quivering lip

As a sign of profound disappointment.

(door closes)

(horn blowing)

(dog barking)

Duck, duck, goose!

(screaming)

-Stop! -(goose honking)

-Did I get that right? -That's how I played.

(clinking) I just wanted to thank you all for coming.

And you know,

Taking time off from your jobs.

Oops! Speaking of jobs.

Guess someone is gonna have to pick that up.

Man! I am so clumsy today.

Oh, cleaning crew!

I guess my so-called best friend

Will have to come over and...

How dumb can you be?

I'm only working here so I can buy you an expensive present.

I never told you to get a stupid job!

Well, my hallucination of you in the store window did.

And the real you made fun of my pie suit.

(beast boy sobbing)

(roaring)

(roaring)

-Think we should stop them? -Nah.

This is the first time I've ever actually

Enjoyed a birthday party.

Oh, wonderful!

Then the celebration is a great success.

(humming)

I don't think we need any more pies, granny.

(whirring)

(granny humming)

(granny cackling)

Since you love gifts so much,

Here is what I was gonna give you!

When I still liked you.

(shouting) this is what you got me?

I love it! It's well drawn, and thoughtful!

Thank you!

I knew you would like it. Ha!

(slurping)

Face pie.

Ah, the best kind.

Huh, pie bro.

When I say, "I want" you say, "pie"

-I want... -Pie!

-I want... -Pie!

When I say "yummy" you say "pie"

-Yummy... -Pie!

-Yummy... -Pie!

-Apple, peach -rhubarb, or pear

Any kind we don't care

-I love pie -yeah, I love pie

Oh, we love, love, love love, love pie

-(laughing) -man, my pie bro!

Oh, why were we ever fighting?

-I love pie. -I love you and pie.

Hey, looks like everyone went home.

Just means more pie for us.

(whistles)

(humming)

Something tells me I just figured out

What mother mae eye's secret ingredient is.

-Uh-huh. -Mmm.

Love.

(choking)

Oh, mmm, yup.

The secret ingredient is definitely love.

(chewing loudly)

(belching)

Seriously?

Both: What?