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But...

you always know when you...

Oh, well...

You asked me if it was safe, and I said no,

and then you said it didn't matter, "No risk, no fun."

But, do you want a baby now, or what?

Well...

I'm 36 now, and we've been together for nearly three years.

And we said that we could imagine it one day together.

Yes, could be, but that was a while ago.

Fuck! Karla, shit! What do you want from me?

-Sorry. -I don't mean to pressure you.

It's... It's...

-It's all a bit quick for me. -Yes. I understand. It is.

-It is a surprise. -Yes.

Right, so...

If it's too much for you, then...

We can just wait.

Okay.

-Okay. -Okay.

Cool!

Cool.

Great.

-Merry Christmas. -To you, too.

Ms. Matschke?

I MISS YOU. I HAVE TIME TOMORROW. WHEN WILL WE MEET?

Stop it.

That's enough. Stop it!

JUST SOMETHING NICE

TWO YEARS LATER

Oh God, this is shit.

Where's he gone?

Hello?

Oh God!

Okay...

Go! Go! Go! Come on.

Karla. A bit more.

Try your hardest.

Try your hardest!

-Hey, that was great! -Oh God! Oh God!

-I'm so sorry. Dumb idea of mine. -No!

Sorry. I just thought it would be different for a first date.

-Shall we stop? -No! No.

I think it's great! Isn't it?

-You sure? -Yes!

Okay! Then on we go.

-There's only one more obstacle. -Okay.

And it is...

-What? -Oh, nothing.

Come on, tell me. What is it?

Excuse me. Sorry, it was...

-It was just the adrenalin. -From the goddamn slide.

-What? -I don't know.

I...

I just thought for a moment...

could we maybe do this again tomorrow?

We could leave out the other stuff. It was really nice.

-Yes, that sounds good. -Yeah?

Keep quiet for a moment?

Hi, honey.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I said I'd be home at 8:30.

Red?

Yes, I'll take a look. I don't know yet. See you soon.

What's wrong with you?

Hello, you aliens out there. Welcome to a new edition of Space Shuttle,

the last show of its kind.

I'm Karla. Today was no different, now luckily it's night-time.

Zero hundred hours and five, five minutes past 12.

Hey!

Ultravox on a harmonica? Isn't that too mellow, gloomy, overdramatic?

I think it was a very special moment,

that made our ten listeners happy.

Ten! You're optimistic, now you're 40!

I'm 39, you pussy.

-Yeah, man. Thorsten was a letdown. -Surprise!

I just attract idiots. Seriously.

Well, Harald with the anal problem, he was nice.

Or the lateral thinker. He made me laugh.

And who was the anti-earrings guy who you kept secret?

You act like it's always me! I can't help it if they're all assholes.

Well, you do always put your self in the coat check when a guy appears.

Thanks. That really helped. Thanks.

Happy birthday.

-What are you doing? -This is my period towel.

My tampon is full and I don't want to miss the moment.

Where did you get this? It was sold out.

True love, baby.

-Can't we just have children? -No. I don't feel pressured.

It's good like this. And don't look at me like that.

You can do that on your own with some dick or other.

-Mom, what are you doing here? -Oh Karla, the key doesn't work!

-It's for emergencies. -Of course.

But I was in the area and thought we could bake together.

We'll make the cherry cake you love. I wasn't invited to your birthday party.

I didn't celebrate.

You can do that tomorrow.

Is that the dress?

That you'll wear?

That you and your sisters will wear for your father?

For his wedding with his new wife?

-Yes, Johanna chose it. -Nice.

Pretty dress.

I'm sure it will be lovely.

I look like a sausage in a cardigan in it.

You don't need to apologize, Karla. It just hurts me.

If I have a birthday party, no one comes,

but when your father marries a new wife, you dress up and act like it's nothing.

Is there any left?

Yes.

Will you toast with me?

But...

No, Mom, I'm not annoyed that you stayed the night.

I didn't run away. I didn't get much done this morning, and the wedding is today.

Of course I know today isn't easy for you. Look, I made you breakfast.

Stay as long as you want, okay?

Shit! Mom... Okay, I'll call right back, okay?

Fuck!

Shit! Shit!

Oh no! Fuck!

Karla! Isn't this wonderful?

Say, are you here on your own?

-Look at your little sister. -Leave her alone!

Don't worry! You'll find the right one. You're so pretty.

Jule has such lovely children.

Henry, not on the cross.

It's good that she does what she wants.

Who really believes in romance these days?

What about you? It's too late now really.

-Isn't it? -What do you look like?

Where's your dress? Pete's doing the photo.

-Who's Pete? -A top photographer.

-We have to give Dad a gift. -A bit over the top, isn't it?

-Don't worry, I did your bit. -Happy birthday.

-It was yesterday. - I know. Retrospectively.

Let's get this over with. I look like a clown.

Come on. Us three together again... It'll be fun.

-What do we have to do? -On three.

One, two, three.

-Karla. -Dad.

Hello.

-What happened to your dress? -What dress?

-Well, your dress! -I don't have a dress.

Do you need money?

No.

Yes.

Yes, then...

Then... Are you okay?

Yes. Well...

-I'm never going to a wedding alone again. -Ah! Look!

Here comes Felix.

Gosh, she's pregnant... the girl.

Okay, Karla, what is it now?

Why her and not me?

Why does it work for everyone else?

And I keep going on all those dates.

And...

always hope that he's the fucking one.

There's only ever...

disappointment.

I can't go on.

Yes, I get it, life sucks, but come out and stop crying, okay?

Where are you both? The wedding is starting.

I've waited a decade

for the life of our hopes and dreams to begin, and it never does!

And now Felix is outside, not with me, but with that pregnant slut.

Which Felix?

-He strung me along for three years! -Oh, him.

I don't get it, Karla, if you really want that,

maybe you shouldn't wear sweatpants to a wedding.

Oh, it's starting.

Oh fuck!

-Do you have to? Anyone got 50 cents? -What for?

I told the guy outside we'd pay.

-I don't have any change. Do you? -No.

-You never have any. -Yes, why not?

I'm not engaged to a super-rich national league star.

How many times?

I'm not an IT girl, I'm an IT expert.

I earn a lot, more than you on your dumb night show.

Oh, stop this.

Are you nauseous? Are you pregnant again?

I'd like to see you two with kids, seriously.

Do I look okay now?

-Sorry. -Just keep going. One moment...

-What's up? -I can't go in like this.

Pull yourself together!

Wow, Sandy.

You look great. Beautiful.

What? What does she look like? Where's her dress?

She's going through a difficult phase.

-Oh God! Sorry. -Just ignore us.

-I wish! -You're so beautiful.

Sorry. You're beautiful.

We're having a totally romantic wedding

in a castle, we viewed so many venues.

Can you stop that please? Can you help?

-Who do you need to write to now? -Work.

Same again, please.

-Mom, what are you doing here? -What a lame party! I saw that coming!

But we can change that! Two martinis, cutie!

-Mom, you can't smoke here. -Can you smoke here?

Sure! Help yourself.

-Here... -You saved my night.

Of course I did.

There's Norbert! Norbert! Ingrid!

Hey! Look over here! It's me!

Norbert! Ingrid!

-Mom, come on... -Yes, yes, yes!

Mom...

Wow! They're totally lost too. Completely gray faces.

So, another one here, right?

Come here, my little girl. Skol!

-No, no! -Jule!

Then go. You do it. It's not my job. No.

-Please talk to her. Please. -No.

Dad!

So...

Very good.

Maybe I should go over to Robert and Serena and say hello,

and congratulate them.

-She's called Sandy, Mom. -That's even worse.

Mom, it's a totally lame party. I was just going. I'll take you.

Thank you, my darling.

-But I've only just got here. -Mom, wait. No. Mom!

Oops!

Hey, here...

Norbert! Here I am!

Come on!

Dad.

Come on! No, no, no, no, no.

I'm fine...

It's nothing serious. I was only dancing.

I was only... What wedding don't you dance at? Stop...

-Shitty, lame party! -We're leaving. Come on.

-Leave me alone. Leave me alone. -Arm down.

-Mom, that's enough. -Leave me alone!

Karla!

I have the right to dance too. These are my friends too.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah... -Sorry.

Sorry.

-You don't want me either. -Yes. All right...

First he sucks everything out of me, then I get rejected.

-Sorry... -Trading me in, just like he did!

Sorry.

I'm such hard work.

Mom, you can't just crash the wedding.

-Starry will get over it. -She's called Sandy.

You should have stayed at home.

I know all about that.

Women ought to stay at home and keep quiet.

Nice and quiet all the time. Don't spoil the others' parties.

I can't do it.

I can't put on an act like that

and pretend everything is great.

I tell the truth, yeah? And it's not funny.

-Hey, are you out of your mind? -Are you?

What's wrong with you?

You turn up in a fucking tracksuit,

and make a huge scene about some guy you screwed...

-I spent three years with him. -So what? Who cares today?

You ruined Sandy's walk down the aisle, and you sat at the bar

with Mom drinking martinis!

-Did you invite her? -Of course not!

So how did she know where we are?

-It's obvious you can't hold your tongue. -Should I have lied to her?

What was I supposed to do? I feel sorry for her.

Nothing. Just do the usual.

Sit in the toilet weeping because your ex got his life together.

Exactly.

You need to take care or you'll end up like Mom.

And you need to cry less. You're not four years old anymore.

-Excuse me. -No thanks, I'm...

WELCOME TO OUR WEDDING SANDY AND ROBERT

Excuse me. Do you need any help?

Yes.

Could you go into the...

By the bar there's an ugly, sparkly satin handbag. Could you get it?

-I can't go back in. -Sure, no problem.

-Really? -I'll go back inside.

And I'll get your yellow, ugly satin handbag.

And a cigarette that you will then blow in my face.

The smoke.

I quit smoking,

but apparently you can smoke in there now,

which is crap for me, because I can't do that.

Obviously, I feel a bit aggressive and am about to attack the DJ.

I mean, what's up? Not cool.

I understand.

Yes, okay. Why not?

Okay, can I leave you two alone?

Sure, we'll manage. Thanks.

-And ask for a good song. -What are you doing now?

-Go on in, I'll be right with you. -Yep.

Can I have a cigarette?

You asked for this song?

What? I think it's cool. Someone on the radio played it on the harmonica,

now I can't get it out of my head.

-Here. -Thank you.

Now it's your turn.

I don't have a light.

Oh, right.

Thank you.

Again?

-Why do you listen to the radio at night? -I'm a nurse.

Westend Hospital.

How did you know it was at night?

I work on the radio. I played it.

Are you kidding me?

No.

Ole!

Oh my God!

Jasmin.

-Right, I better... -Yes, of course.

Are you okay? What happened, sweetie?

-Come up, come. -Ole, I wanna go home.

Alright, we'll go home.

BECOMING A MOTHER ALONE

CO-PARENTHOOD AS A NEW FAMILY MODEL

YOU WANT A CHILD?

A MODERN PATCHWORK PRINCIPLE

Great! Another idea I'll pitch alone, as you'll get diarrhea.

-You are Karla. -I'm Karla.

-I'm Senay. -You're Senay. My fave sister.

-Yes, I'm your fave sister. -I'm Emin.

Think I don't know you're cheating?

-Senay? -You were here.

- I didn't do anything. -Senay?

-Yes? -You need to help me find a co-father.

What is that? Do I have to pitch to him?

-Okay, will you live with him? -No. You can. You're just parents.

Without love. It's called co-parenthood.

-It's revolutionary, if I think about it. -Sounds good.

Really? I'm not crazy?

No! Great plan.

Do it.

I'm going to have a baby.

Shall we take some calls?

And we have our first caller. Well, well! Who am I talking to?

Hello...

This is Oliviella and...

-I just want to say I'm an alien. -Oliviella, how nice!

So tell us, why are you an...

-Hello? -Hello. What happened to Oliviella?

Who am I talking to?

This is Ole. Ole.

So shoot, Ole. Why are you an alien?

Okay, I have an acquaintance

and she goes to weddings,

but doesn't like going as a single, it gets her down.

And so I usually go with her.

So she's not so sad. Just as a good friend!

She goes to lots of weddings,

since so many people get married.

It surprises me. So, often I feel like an outsider.

Like an alien. And...

So, what I want to say is that I want you to know...

that acquaintance of mine,

Jasmin,

who tripped and fell, is just a good friend.

So now I know.

Okay, then...

If you ever wanted to... hang out, you got my number now.

Do have any music requests?

Yes, one your top five songs for when you need an instant good mood.

Okay, then coming up for you we have a classic. How old are you?

-28. -28?

Yes, 28.

Okay, wow!

So here comes a good old classic,

for the way-too-young Ole.

Hey? Who the fuck is Ole?

Hi. Tom?

-No. Sorry. -Oh! Excuse me.

Family is simply important!

Like sports. Sports are simply important.

I just need a reason to live.

Or I'll jump from a bridge.

You're pretty. I thought these platforms

only have ugly women who can't get a man.

Wow!

W-0-W.

You get what I'm saying?

Yes, it's very philosophical.

-Sorry, I've got so much going on. -Tell me about it!

-Shall we talk openly? -Sure, you start.

Shit! Here we go then...

-So, I've been single for two years... -Me too!

-Sorry. Excuse me. -No, it's fine.

And so I...

kind of can't be bothered to wait for so long anymore.

All my friends are parents now, and I'm glad for them!

But on the other hand, I kind of hate them too.

I'm totally envious. Maybe you get this...

It's such a matter of course for them, but it just isn't.

I want that too! I want that joy during pregnancy too! I want...

I don't know...

Running to a kiosk after midnight for chocolate for the mother of my child.

Being at the birth, taking the baby in my arms...

I'm ready and I want children and I want a family...

Right now, if possible.

Karla's voicemail.

Jule here. Johanna's planning a garden do, and she's calling me five times a day

to get me involved in planning, can you deal with it for me?

We should meet in my garden, Mom and us sisters,

and put our cards on the table.

Hey, Mom here...

I said I'm not interested in a discussion.

It was clear enough that evening.

At my wedding I just want fo have a nice party as a family.

Just something nice. It's not asking too much.

Hi, Jule here again. You may hate me for this,

but I'm not going to make Mom come. It's pointless.

Mom?

Mom?

-I thought you'd died. -Nice feeling?

Mom!

Karla!

So?

Mom?

Come to Johanna's garden experiment. She's an emotional wreck.

I'm an emotional wreck too.

But I mustn't complain, of course.

At least she's having a breakdown in a villa. Look where I wound up!

There's nothing for me again, of course. When will my needs matter?

The mother has to move sweetly aside. She doesn't count anymore. No!

Always blame the mother.

What about Daddy? Why am I always the bad guy?

-Mom, that's not true. -It is!

I'm always the fool, always to blame, because I didn't manage any better.

Where do I file my complaint that I wasn't loved enough?

I just didn't manage.

Always the great mothers, who everyone wants...

It really was hard, alone with you all without any help. Now I'm paying for it.

I'm sorry, Mom.

Can I give you a hug?

So, here's to...

Right, I've got everything. Cup for the sperm. Syringe for me.

-Schnaps? -Yeah!

Okay...

Hello, super-strong sperm. Do your best, but only one. Only one!

-Karla? -Yes?

Say, have you injected it yet?

-No. -Good.

Could you wait a moment? Can I come in for a second?

-Hello? -Okay.

-I'm coming in now. -Okay.

-Hi. -Hi. What is it?

I'm really panicking.

-Can I get my... -What?

-What's wrong? -What if I... Or tomorrow, or...

Or right now... If I go out and meet the love of my life?

It's very unlikely.

Yes, but I'd have a child with another woman.

And I want one with the love of my life. Then I realized that...

I'm not in any hurry. I mean, you are, but I'm not.

Because we men can do it anytime, and I can become a dad at 50.

I'm sorry.

Thanks.

So sperm bank now?

I should have started there. It never works with men and me.

-What are you doing? -Looking for Ole's number.

-Ole? -Ole.

Who the fuck is Ole?

-The nurse, from the wedding. -What do you want with him?

-Nothing, really. -I thought you're not seeing any more men.

I thought the deal was not to get distracted.

It's not a distraction. One is fun, the other is kids. Completely different.

When the baby head has ripped me apart,

I won't be interested. I have to enjoy the time I have.

Hey, I applaud the attitude.

I just don't believe you. My alarm bell's ringing.

Last time you "enjoyed", you were lovesick for six months.

Great color.

Hey.

Have you finished work?

I was just asking.

A friend was asking.

You don't have shoes on.

-Oh no! - Forget it. They're gone.

I thought barefoot in clubs was out long ago.

-I'm over 30. We're a little slower. -I understand.

-Hey. -Hey.

Sorry. Sorry. I'm so sorry.

It's fine. Nothing broken. It's okay.

ARE YOU AWAKE? FERTILITY CLINIC 11 O'CLOCK

Oh God. Oh God. Sorry. I didn't...

-It's okay. It's okay. -Sorry.

I got it. No breakfast in bed.

No, no. Wait, wait. I'll make an exception for coffee.

Okay!

-Your coffee... -Thank you.

It smells great.

-Do you want some too? -Absolutely.

-Doesn't sound like an easy farewell fuck. -I can laugh, can't I?

-Not really. -Hello.

-Hi. -I want a baby and I'm here for screening.

-Right. -So you're not seeing him again?

-No! -Maybe you should tell him asap?

I think he really likes you. Coffee in bed! What's wrong with him?

Or maybe he'll never call again. It wouldn't be the first time.

Maybe you could have this thrilling discussion in the waiting room?

-Sorry. It's him. -Could you...

Hi!

Hi, what are you doing?

Me? I'm...

I'm in a museum.

Okay, cool. I wanted to ask if you want to watch a movie.

A movie?

Because I researched what one can do with 30-somethings,

and a movie is a great idea. The seats are comfy,

you don't do much and it's good for the blood pressure.

Wow! Cool. That sounds doable. And...

And are you allowed in with a grown-up?

No, I'll take my ID just in case.

Okay, I'll send you a few movie suggestions.

-Okay. -Cool. See you later.

Yes, okay, I have to tell him.

Health insurance won't cover costs for single mothers.

-Are you aware of that? -Yes.

Fine, then let's not waste time.

At your age, the chances fall fast from cycle to cycle.

Maybe we should consider hormone treatment?

Okay. Okay.

Go through the sperm banks my colleague at reception will give to you.

When you find a donor, we'll make a plan and get started.

-Okay. -Good.

Yes, Simon, but she can't go to her first day at school in her space suit.

I'm all for boosting kids' identity too, blah blah.

It would just be cool if she didn't get bullied.

Listen. I'll trust you. We'll do it your way. It'll be great.

-Can you cut that out? I'm dizzy. -Try it. Freedom, fresh wind in your hair.

No, thanks. I'm a grown-up.

Hello!

Hello!

-Oh, man. -Sorry. I didn't see you.

Please excuse me.

Just something nice, huh?

Good idea, Johanna.

Hey, there are six chairs here. Why are there six?

I have a little surprise for you.

-Hanni? -Sure!

-Here you are! -Oh!

-Surprise! -Right. Thanks.

Come on, Robert.

Oh, so what is your idea?

I thought after their wedding we should all gather in small groups

and talk to each other as equals.

I looked into it and I'd like to sit with you in this communication circle

to develop ideas on a different way of being together.

What did your school reports say? "Always tries hard."

This is also about finding your own voice

and clearly expressing your wishes.

I'll start.

I wish that,

since it's my wedding,

and I think we all agree,

we can skip the drama of Dad and Sandy's wedding.

Am I right?

Well, I'm up for that.

Those who are stupid will act foolishly.

Yes, and those with manners can behave.

Or look for a bachelor from the same age group.

-This is pointless, let's go. -No, Dad, please! Sandy, please stay.

Sandy, I'd like to start by saying that Jule, Karla and I are sorry

for ruining your walk down the aisle. Right? Karla!

Uh, yes.

-It was really... stupid. -Yes, sorry.

Thanks, that's kind of you.

It's all forgotten now. Come, Robert, come.

Is there anything to drink? Or I won't get through this.

Sorry.

Sit down, Dad.

Thank you, Patrick.

Patrick?

-Thank you, Patrick. -Thank you.

I won't either, thanks.

-What's wrong? Are you on drugs? -It's called a good mood. Give it a try.

Okay. Then let's get settled first.

Breathe deeply.

Calm down.

And perceive each other.

-What? -Right...

That was a good start. How did you get on with that?

I just heard the aggressive dog and wanted to cut its throat.

Okay.

Now it would be nice if each of us said

something positive to the person on our right.

I'd prefer left. Due to the right-wing Nazis.

Okay, Jule. Then the person to our left.

-Mom? -Yes?

I find it totally positive that you came today,

and that you're opening up to this circle.

Yes.

And I'm done with this now.

Mom! Come on. Please.

How can I be positive about my ex-husband choosing fresh meat?

It doesn't have to be profound.

You could just... be positive about his pants.

No I can't. They're ugly and don't suit him.

All right. Then... Dad?

-Yes. -You continue.

-Please! Dad! - don't know, darling.

-Please! -It's really...

-Please, please, please. -Okay. Yes. Okay.

Well, I... I think it's positive...

that you have become my wife.

-Oh God! -Mom...

-Can you say something? -It's not our turn.

Okay. Carry on. Sandy?

I find it positive that you have such a great family.

With your three children and your husband.

-What's up now? -Great! No one to be positive about me!

What I find very positive, Karla,

is your independence.

You as a woman choosing your own path, without a man or kids.

Well...

Well what?

This probably isn't the right moment...

but I was going to say anyway, and so...

whatever!

I've decided to have a baby.

-Are you pregnant? -Not yet.

So it's just a crazy idea, isn't it?

-You ought to like it then! -Why are you butting in again?

-Do you have a boyfriend after all? -No. I'm doing it on my own.

-Oh God, that sounds familiar. -That's enough!

-For you maybe, but certainly not for me. -What do you mean, alone?

Alone. It's possible nowadays.

Isn't that a bit egocentric? To the child?

Hanni has a point there.

A child needs a father.

One like you? What for?

-But I want a child, not a man. -But we can't have everything we want.

The child has to be well. It's not only about you.

You heard. Moms are totally irrelevant.

Be glad you don't have a child. It saves you a lot of misery.

Take the easy path, like men have for centuries.

-Look at your father! -All right...

You see?

Sorry, darling. I can't be near that woman! You understand.

What is it? We were supposed to talk to each other as equals.

Huh?

Johanna, quite honestly, from bride to bride,

if you want to be the center of your big day, uninvite those two.

That overpowering perfume!

We can breathe much more freely now, right?

How am I going to get home? Or... Do you still need me?

I'm going to the toilet.

-Jule. -Sorry. Is this the toilet?

-I always get lost here. -Jule, open the door.

Yes, just a moment.

-What's up? -Nothing.

-True, you haven't cried. -Is it Simon?

-Do you mind if I pee? -Having problems?

-No. -Then tell us.

I don't know, Johanna. How was the great reconciliation?

Is it all nice enough for your wedding now?

Karla wants to have a baby alone.

Are you nuts?

-Why? -A single mother? Know what that means?

-Not everything's as perfect as with you. -Sure! I ride around on a white horse!

I haven't had sex in ages.

How will it work? Will you take it to the radio at night?

Sorry, is that a reproach or an offer of help?

Is your child to pay for you not managing an adult relationship?

A really long time.

You are aware of how you dish it out? Or do no feelings get through anymore?

-It'll only have you, and that sucks. -I said that too.

Great! Then you agree with most fertility clinics in advising me against it.

-Most don't even offer it. -Perhaps for good reason.

You mean I can't have kids because I'm not in a hetero marriage?

It's shit for kids, a single mother, not a real family?

It's always better in a real family, huh?

Is that the reason you don't dare leave Simon?

Why does it always

have to escalate with us?

What am I supposed to do?

I can't have one wedding for Dad and one for Mom. And now you two are at it again.

And everyone at my party will stay apart?

"Oh...

I'm sorry, darling, I can't be near that woman. You must understand!”

No! I don't understand!

I don't understand why you can't all just pull yourselves together.

I can't uninvite them, like Sandy said. What kind of a wedding would that be?

Quite a relaxed one, probably.

Imagine if we put them all on a remote island.

Look, Johanna. Your wedding will be lovely.

Because we're all adults and we'll behave.

But can't we all just make up with each other?

That only happens in movies.

Oh shit, I have to break up with him.

Hi, Ole. I have to tell you...

Even though you look so amazing, the way you walk and look...

-Hi. -Hi.

I'm afraid there are only front-row tickets.

The movie's only playing today.

No, not true.

The movie's on every day. It's on tomorrow.

But I didn't want to wait.

But then I thought, "Shit, you're so old

you'll get a stiff neck."

One has to take care with you guys. We wouldn't be able to cuddle.

And so I got you a neck cushion.

Right... I stole it from a patient. It's for you.

Thank you.

You have this kind of thing in the hospital?

I ran around KaDeWe for two hours.

But I think it's for two.

I think it's a breastfeeding cushion.

Yes, I know. I always do that on a first date.

To make it cozy and so on.

I'm going in to the movie. It's from the 80s.

I thought it would suit you.

It is so cozy.

Mega cozy.

ENDED IT?

No, I can't do that.

Just write something like, "Sorry, I have no time."

-Too anti-social. He's too undamaged. -Undamaged?

Yes, he's undamaged. It would wound him.

He's not undamaged. No one is undamaged these days.

Right, sperm bank.

Yes, I have four attempts. I can't afford more. Choose one.

-Ingo, 38, likes gymnastics. -I feel really bad.

Because of "who the fuck is Ole?" You'll manage.

Say...

"It's really nice with you, but I'm in a different place."

Ole, listen. It's super-cool with you.

You're super-cool.

It's just bad timing. We're at different points in our lives.

Hi.

Hi.

Ready for a ride?

No, Senay, not really.

Karla?

Open up! Karla?

Karla, man, the key is...

It's wrong.

Karla! The key doesn't work.

Karla? I...

I brought your old baby stuff.

You'll need it now. For your baby!

What baby?

I also have a brochure.

I looked through it a bit.

I can't sleep on your crappy thing when your baby's here.

Hemnes. Couch.

I've looked though it a bit.

Hey, can you be a bit quieter?

I'm afraid not.

My daughter won't open the door.

She's probably still asleep. She works nights.

-How about just leaving her in peace? -Yes, I would! Man!

But she wants a baby.

-On her own. -What do you mean on her own?

-Like I said! -Why does she want a baby on her own?

-She's 40 and doesn't have a boyfriend. -Shit!

And she...

She couldn't withstand it. The pressure. You're incomplete without a child.

-Society reflects that. Always. -Ah, right, yes.

-Morning! -Morning. What's going on?

12C. The Matschke girl. She wants a baby.

-On her own. -How come?

Well, she's 40.

No boyfriend. Her mother wants to help with the societal pressure.

I know all about that. Barren women are worthless.

The question is whether to have kids at all, given the climate catastrophe.

She's my favorite of the three.

I know you're not allowed to say that, but...

If I do it in secret, then I am!

You've had one too many.

Somehow I managed to lose it.

-What's all this commotion? -Her daughter wants a baby on her own.

Oh God! It's exhausting even with a man.

It's so much pressure, but no one tells you.

Yeah. It's hell.

But don't you worry, darling.

-We'll manage. -I think kids need both father and mother.

What will she tell the child?

Daddy can't come to your party. He just jerked off in a jar.

Yeah, or he jerks off in your pussy. That's no fun either.

We don't say "pussy" anymore.

So children don't associate sexuality with aggression and abuse.

Pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy

PUSSY PUSSY pussy pussy!

-Pussy! -Someone's hungry!

-Pussy pussy pussy. -I have frozen food here.

I have to go.

Bye.

-Bye! -Have a nice day!

Hello, are you there?

Karla, I can't find my key.

You can't just leave me out here.

I'm leaving this now.

I'm leaving this here now...

And... Seriously, Karla can... Karla can do it herself.

I'm sorry.

What about exactly?

I don't get it.

My mother is... Sometimes she's...

Are you pregnant?

No.

But?

I'm getting artificial insemination.

What?

Did I miss something?

You start seeing me and get artificial insemination?

Right.

I get it.

We're nothing.

-It was just a fuck. Some fun in the end. -No.

You have to tell me these things, so I can choose whether to fall in love.

You think this isn't shit for me?

I can't help it that you're fucking 28!

What would you have said in the cinema?

-No idea. Maybe I'll want kids one day. -I want one now.

I've put it off 1,000 times. I can't delay anymore.

-And we can't talk about it? -Okay. What do you want to say?

That I don't want to lose you.

That I haven't thought about it yet. That it's too fast.

That I don't want kids yet. Yes, it's too fast for me.

I don't have any time left to wait for someone.

All right, I got it.

Your farewell fuck has no more to say. Girl power.

Girl power!

Your farewell fuck is really funny.

Okay, Karla.

You have to tell me what the deal is.

Your appointment is on Friday. I chose great sperm for you.

And you get distracted by some guy. I don't know what you're asking me to do.

Maybe Ole isn't "some guy".

But you want to have a baby, right? That's the plan, isn't it?

-Yes. -Okay. So who is Ole?

Sorry, we don't know Ole. Ole doesn't have a vote.

A 28-year-old Ole turns up saying, "I'm not ready for that."

And you go, "Yes, but he's so cute. Maybe he's the right one." And I ask, for what?

What is Ole the right guy for?

For playing badminton in the park on Saturdays with a joint.

Ole's the right guy for that.

But you want to have a baby, buddy. What's wrong with you?

What if my plan sucks, Senay?

What if I can't manage it all?

I'm just scared of having a baby on my own.

Maybe you do need a guy, but I have nothing.

I only have my drunk mother with some box or other in the corridor.

Okay, then I'll come with you later and throw the damn box in the trash.

She means well.

Yes, but it starts with a kids' box, and then it's a moving truck.

You can't cancel that. You have to pay for it.

You have to start sorting things out. Here...

Draw an eight.

Here.

-An eight? -Yes. Trust me.

I've done years of therapy. It must have some use.

Okay.

-Now what? -One half is you.

That's your circle. And that's your mom's one.

That's the point where you're connected.

-Okay. -Now cut through the middle, right here.

Okay.

-Now what? -Now...

Burn it, throw it away. I don't know. I forgot.

Anyway, each one now lives their own life.

I feel sorry for that scrap, it's alone now.

This scrap of paper will manage.

-I don't believe that. -It will. I have great confidence in it.

Everyone is responsible for their own spiritual and mental welfare,

including you.

Start treating yourself with respect and raise your standards.

Here...

We have to go over.

-Over where? -Over to eurythmy therapy with Emin.

-Today is family day. -Oh, right.

He's In love with the instructor. I have to check her out. Come!

You think she wanted to fall from the balcony?

With a blood alcohol level of 0.2%, you can't speak of wanting.

-I bet she did and I'm going now. -What? You can't just go!

I can. It's long overdue.

But Jule, you can't just leave her lying there. She's our mother!

I never left Mom lying anywhere.

You went out partying. Johanna was weeping.

And I always picked her up, and I took care of her.

From when I was fucking six.

Sure, Mom doesn't have it easy.

But it's her choice to stay at rock bottom. I'm done with it.

Karla.

Yes?

I'm thirsty.

What's wrong?

Mom...

You fell from the balcony with a blood alcohol level of 0.2%.

...I'd like to help you.

Help!

It's far too late.

I'll find a group you can go to, and I'd go with you.

With your baby?

I'll get coffee.

Karla.

-What are you doing here? -I work here.

Oh right.

-Is everything okay? -Yes.

No, I...

My mother had...

and accident or something and I...

I just want coffees, but the machine only made one,

and it won't make more, the asshole.

-Should I try? -No, Ole.

You shouldn't try, because I've tried already.

And it won't get any better just because you're here.

Life isn't like that.

-Fine, Karla. I just wanted to help. -Yes.

Everyone comes and knows how things work, because I can't manage on my own.

So I assume we're not talking about the coffee machine.

But I don't know how it works, Karla. Okay?

I just fell in love with you and...

you weren't honest with me.

True. I forgot that you're still 15,

and believe that love is a fairy tale, and then everything's fine.

But you know what the bad thing is? It's not true.

In real life, it will always end badly for me.

Because even if we're happy together now, you'll want kids in four years

and I won't be able to and I'll be alone again.

No one ever really fell in love with me, so there's no baby.

And the coffee machine is broken too.

No coffee, no children. And you can't turn it around. Ole.

All right.

There's no happy ending.

Just learned something again.

You have to get one with sugar.

That works.

What? She canceled? She didn't cancel!

Yes, she turned down the insemination.

Impossible. I'm unaware of it, so it's not true.

I had a very real conversation with Ms. Matschke yesterday

about whether she can sell the sperm on, or perhaps get her money back.

-Thank you, darling. -Marion! What happened?

I'm badly hurt, Robert.

Now physically as well.

My emotional destruction was my hus... my ex-husband's...

Marion, please!

Yes, well today is all about Luna. Huh?

Come, Robert.

-Starry is the smartest of all! -Sandy.

- I don't have a gift for Luna. Do you? -Yes.

-Can you write my name on it too? -What do you have against pearl now?

Well, pearl mocha cake is...

Sorry to bug you with the organization of our wedding.

Hello.

Are your arms in casts because you're an alcoholic, Grandma?

I'm glad you're starting school, Luna.

Soon you'll pronounce that right.

-Luna! Are you excited? -No.

Wow!

Luna.

God!

How long will this go on? It's unbearable.

I have a bottle of water in my bag. Can you get it please?

Everything's all the same to you. Am I all the same to you?

-No, you're not. The pearl cake is. -But it's important to me.

If it doesn't matter to you, I don't matter to you.

I want you to take things into your hands so I know you still want me.

You want me to take the pearl cake into my hands?

Seriously?

-Do you know what pain I'm in? -How did you even get it in?

I have that...

small fat neighbor boy. I bribed him. Two euros.

What is it? What? What's wrong?

-You want to shut up a woman in a cast? -Mother!

Mom, stop it, please.

What?

So, many thanks. We'll take a short break now.

Then we'll welcome our new pupils.

-What? There's more? -Mom, come on.

Shit.

Fuck.

Jule?

-Shit. -Jule?

Jule, is everything okay?

There's so much!

Open up.

Jule, open the door.

I didn't make it in time.

-Shit. I'll go get Simon. -No.

-Yes! -No! It's not his.

-Oh God. -You got a sanitary pad? And pain killers?

-It's a miscarriage. Get to a hospital. -I can't. What will I tell Simon?

Okay. Okay.

Okay, then...

Shit. Shit!

-Baby... -Leave me be. I don't want to cry again.

Stop calling me Baby. No one takes me seriously.

Then stop behaving like one.

Yes?

Yes.

Okay.

Simon! I'm sorry.

Karla... Karla vomited my red surprise punch on Jule's dress.

All over it. Really everywhere.

We have to change it.

But we have it under control. You all go in. We'll join you.

Dad, you look after Mom.

-Here. I'll do it. -What punch?

Starry better not touch me.

-I'll take the cushion. -Hands off!

-Give me the car keys. -You didn't want to cry.

Give me the fucking car keys.

I need more.

Please us another toilet, we have an emergency.

Thanks.

Put that in your underwear.

Good. Okay.

There you go.

Okay?

Who are you having the affair with?

A colleague from court.

We're no longer even...

Are you pregnant now?

Why not?

Well, I can hardly even look after myself.

No one ever comes to tell you how it works.

I've got this feeling...

I bet Mom is still at the school.

Hello!

Hello!

The bus stopped six times.

I'm like a forlorn, helpless old woman.

-Why didn't you get a ride home? -With whom?

Simon had the kids. Kate I don't like.

And no way am I getting in Robert and Sandy's car.

Yes, hello. Karla Matschke here.

When will you be here tomorrow?

I'm not coming tomorrow.

What?

I organized a caregiver till the casts come off.

Melanie. She'll be here at eight in the morning.

What, a stranger? You can do it.

No, Mom.

But you can't... just make that decision!

I never left you with a stranger when you were sick.

Yes...

but I was your child.

Get well soon, Mom.

I love you, darling.

I love you too, Mom.

Are you even listening? Switch the damn phone off!

Sorry, I was just checking something.

-Hello. -Hi. Come on in.

I'll see where your pizza is.

Karla, it's your mother.

I got an invitation, from my youngest, to her wedding with...

with uh... with Kate.

Karla, it's Dad... Robert speaking. I just wanted to...

I don't mean to... It's just about the wedding.

With Marion and me it's just so... And with Sandy!

Obviously I can't go to the wedding, if Robert and Sandy are there.

Maybe you can sort that out for me, okay?

Is your mother definitely not going?

Could you... Or will you let me know?

That would be good. I mean important.

God, this wind! No thunder, please! Why do I have such bad luck?

I'd like a little more good mood, come on.

Oh boy. The end of the world.

-Oh God! -It'll pass, it'll pass.

I can't stand this.

Okay, can I have a look?

-I'm hungry. I need to eat. -Here.

It needs to be fun. You look worn.

I told you purple looks like vomit on me.

It's "Pompadour Sheen". It looks great, now smile!

Stop! Stop. Stop.

-What's up now? -Stop!

Something serious.

Not yet with the cake. It comes in later. It's all on the list.

What color is that? It must be pearl. Is it pearl?

Pete! Not yet! What will the photos be like?

God! That brings bad luck. Okay, I'm going to cry.

Excuse me? Excuse me?

I have a little bit of suboptimal news.

The horse and carriage are stuck in traffic

due to fallen trees on the road, so...

But we have it under control. We're getting a replacement.

-So, no need to worry. -This way...

Why isn't the stupid pianist coming till 3 pm?

She has the list! There's happy dancing at 3 pm.

What about Karla? She can play the piano. Karla will play.

Yes. Good idea!

- Don't know what she was going to play. -Enrique Iglesias. Hero. Can you play it?

Sure.

Okay!

Let me be your hero...

-Are we the only ones? -They've all gone across already.

Okay.

Where do I go?

Beat it!

-Beat it, you. -Oh no...

There's nobody here. And this stupid peacock is chasing me.

Why is she wearing a space suit?

Because she wants to.

Off you go.

It's fine! It's fine! Hey! Look in my eyes.

Focus on me. Okay? Let's do this.

We are gathered here today...

-Not now! -Baby...

Not yet! Not now!

Baby, look at me. I'm here. I'm here.

...to celebrate the love of two people.

Hey! Stay with me. Stay with me.

Okay?

Come on!

Go, go, go!

Do you, Johanna Matschke,

take Kate Meganoe as your wife?

I do.

Keep going, keep going.

Do you, Kate Meganoe, take Johanna Matschke as your wife?

I do!

You may now Kiss the bride!

Okay, let's go, everybody inside!

The cake! The cake!

-It stinks here. -You stink.

Hey, what I said in the bathroom...

That you can't have a baby on your own.

I don't think that.

I think you just need a big, good group

with sensible adults.

In whatever form.

I'd like to be in yours.

If you still want me.

I'd like to offer my support. Not only, but financially as well,

for the insemination thing.

If you still want to have your baby.

Thank you.

Don't mention it.

Look how happy she is.

Although the horse was extremely un-pearl.

In fact, Johanna is the bravest of us all.

I have to sort something out.

And you can't do it tomorrow?

No! No!

Oh God!

Who would do a thing like that? Shit!

Okay.

Okay.

And go.

Come on!

Come on.

Hey, Ole, there's a middle-aged woman sitting in a carriage,

saying she belongs to you.

I wasn't sure...

Hi. Can you come down? I stink of puke.

Okay.

-Hi. -Hi.

You're right.

...wasn't honest with you.

I never introduced myself.

I'd like to make good on that, if it's okay.

Okay.

Okay.

So, I'm Karla.

Hi.

And I said there are no happy endings,

because I've waited for one forever.

Two people in a carriage who live happily ever after.

And it never happened.

And it doesn't make any sense, because...

you don't always have the same goals,

and if you're both in the same carriage, one is just a passenger.

I was only ever a passenger.

I thought I didn't know what I wanted, but...

it's not true, I just never trusted my instinct. I want to start doing that.

And my instinct says...

I want to be with you.

But it also says I want a baby, even if you don't.

And I have no idea if this can work, but who knows?

Maybe we don't have to squeeze into one carriage.

Maybe we can drive side by side and...

Maybe our path won't be paved, but is all sand and potholes, but...

it'll be our path.

But I can also just give you a ride home.

And these two carriages, how close together are they?

I don't really know yet.

We don't know each other that well yet,

but close would be good.

-Can I come over into yours? -Of course.

And there aren't ten other carriages around?

No, I was thinking more of our two carriages.

Can I kiss you now?

Yes, that's okay for me.

Oh, and another thing, regarding honesty...

Enrique Iglesias made it into my top five romantic love songs with "Hero" today.

We may have to listen to it at times, for romance.

Oh shit, Karla.

-I'm sorry. -Okay.