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1
00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:05,586
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:11,743
Oh! Oh!
3
00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:17,666
Sam, I think Carla
has a drink order.
4
00:00:19,369 --> 00:00:20,463
Sweetheart, are you all right?
5
00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:22,554
Sammy, I think this could be it.
6
00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:24,272
I think the twins are coming.
7
00:00:24,308 --> 00:00:25,435
Oh. Ooh, ooh!
8
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:27,426
What do you know?
9
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:28,655
The Sixers are in town tonight.
10
00:00:28,679 --> 00:00:31,195
Isn't it amazing how
Carla's labor pains
11
00:00:31,231 --> 00:00:34,666
always seem to coincide
with Celtic home games?
12
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,217
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
13
00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:38,136
Wait a minute.
14
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:40,972
Now, you think
that I would exploit
15
00:00:41,007 --> 00:00:43,174
this beautiful thing
called motherhood
16
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:46,845
just to go to some
stupid basketball game?
17
00:00:50,034 --> 00:00:51,516
I'm insulted!
18
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:52,795
Carla, I'm not
falling for it this time.
19
00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:53,801
You can scream till you shatter
20
00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:55,031
every glass in this bar,
21
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,255
but you're not going anywhere.
22
00:00:58,007 --> 00:00:59,235
Sweetheart, you're just going
23
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:01,203
to have to give birth
right here in the bar.
24
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:03,244
Come on. It won't be that bad.
25
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,630
Remember, the last kid
you had here was no big deal.
26
00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:06,843
All you had to do was a little
27
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:08,916
snip-snip and a quick mop-up
28
00:01:08,952 --> 00:01:10,392
and you were right
back on your feet.
29
00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:13,049
Let me call you a cab, Carla.
30
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,439
It's all right. I got one
waiting. Thank you.
31
00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:17,037
Hey, uh, there wouldn't
happen to be another seat
32
00:01:17,061 --> 00:01:18,171
in the delivery
room, would there?
33
00:01:18,195 --> 00:01:19,839
No, no. There are only
seats for me and Eddie, Sam.
34
00:01:19,863 --> 00:01:20,845
Oh, come on.
35
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:22,881
Maybe next... child.
36
00:01:30,073 --> 00:01:32,573
♪ Making your way
in the world today ♪
37
00:01:32,609 --> 00:01:35,710
♪ Takes everything you've got ♪
38
00:01:35,746 --> 00:01:38,446
♪ Taking a break
from all your worries ♪
39
00:01:38,481 --> 00:01:41,682
♪ Sure would help a lot ♪
40
00:01:41,718 --> 00:01:46,721
♪ Wouldn't you
like to get away? ♪
41
00:01:46,756 --> 00:01:49,741
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
42
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:55,146
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
43
00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:59,818
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
44
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:02,086
♪ You want to be
where you can see ♪
45
00:02:02,121 --> 00:02:04,823
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
46
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:10,261
♪ You want to be where
everybody knows your name ♪
47
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,497
♪ You want to go
where people know ♪
48
00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:15,199
♪ People are all the same ♪
49
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:19,103
♪ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
50
00:02:36,707 --> 00:02:40,375
Announcement! Announcement!
51
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,977
I just got a phone call,
52
00:02:42,012 --> 00:02:44,245
and if things work
out, it might be
53
00:02:44,281 --> 00:02:45,546
my ticket out of here.
54
00:02:51,321 --> 00:02:53,199
Don't you even want
to know what it's about?
55
00:02:53,223 --> 00:02:55,423
There's more?
56
00:02:55,458 --> 00:02:59,044
Yes. I have been asked
to organize a cocktail party
57
00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:02,614
for Mr. Daniel T. Collier.
58
00:03:03,650 --> 00:03:06,118
Ooh, Daniel T. Collier,
the lemon wafer king?
59
00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:07,968
No, no, that's Donald P. Cooper.
60
00:03:08,004 --> 00:03:09,748
Hey, I love those lemon wafers.
61
00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:10,783
You ever dip them in cocoa
62
00:03:10,807 --> 00:03:12,601
and try to get them out
without breaking them?
63
00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:14,804
Yeah, yeah. Do you know you can
make a mock apple pie with those?
64
00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:16,723
Excuse me. Those
are Ritz Crackers.
65
00:03:16,747 --> 00:03:18,379
Stop talking about wafers!
66
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:21,099
This is Daniel T. Collier,
67
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:22,801
the chairman of the board,
68
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,019
the chief executive
officer of Lillian.
69
00:03:25,054 --> 00:03:27,155
Oh...
70
00:03:27,190 --> 00:03:27,955
Sammy, don't you have,
71
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:29,608
like, the slightest bit of guilt
72
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:32,026
selling this bar to a
corporation named Lillian?
73
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:34,791
Well, we used to be called
74
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,159
Drax Chemical,
Dye and Munitions,
75
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:38,027
but people had trouble
believing our motto:
76
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,434
"We care about people."
77
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:42,781
Okay, I'm going to need
the best of everything:
78
00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:43,838
the best food,
79
00:03:43,873 --> 00:03:45,084
the best liquor.
80
00:03:45,108 --> 00:03:46,174
The best bartenders.
81
00:03:46,209 --> 00:03:47,575
You?
82
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,450
Good one, Sam.
83
00:03:57,921 --> 00:03:59,332
Did I say something funny here?
84
00:03:59,356 --> 00:04:01,172
Well, actually, I
didn't get it either.
85
00:04:01,207 --> 00:04:02,757
I was just laughing
to be polite.
86
00:04:02,793 --> 00:04:04,625
But in my own defense,
87
00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:08,263
I do get some things
that no one else does.
88
00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:13,134
♪ When there's a
shine on your shoes ♪
89
00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:14,803
♪ There's a melody
in your heart ♪
90
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:17,772
Shiny shoes, huh?
91
00:04:17,808 --> 00:04:19,507
♪ Shiny shoes, shiny shoes. ♪
92
00:04:20,910 --> 00:04:24,062
Ah, gents, notice anything
different about me today?
93
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,763
Okay, I'll go out on a limb.
94
00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:26,848
New shoes?
95
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:29,066
Yes, siree, Normie.
96
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,803
And for a limited time only,
97
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:33,337
thanks to the US Postal Service,
98
00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:35,072
you, too, can be
saying to your feet,
99
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,724
"Thanks for your support."
100
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:40,323
Are we to deduce
from this, Cliff,
101
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:42,981
that you are now
selling mail-order shoes?
102
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:45,317
I am not selling
shoes here, Doctor.
103
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:47,134
I'm selling dreams.
104
00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:51,038
Dreams of a little cobbler in
Missouri who pours his heart
105
00:04:51,074 --> 00:04:53,375
into every sole.
106
00:04:53,410 --> 00:04:55,921
Actually, Cliff, with
a pair of dark socks
107
00:04:55,945 --> 00:04:57,890
those could look halfway decent.
108
00:04:57,914 --> 00:04:59,075
How much are they, Cliff?
109
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:00,081
$19.99.
110
00:05:00,116 --> 00:05:01,066
Well, what the heck?
111
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,021
For 20 bucks,
I'll give it a shot.
112
00:05:03,787 --> 00:05:06,837
All right, order me a size 11.
113
00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:07,939
Normie, Normie, Normie,
114
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,057
these are not your
assembly line clodhoppers.
115
00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:12,360
These are precisely
machine-measured.
116
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:13,539
How do I do it then?
117
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,141
Just trace your tootsies
on a cocktail napkin
118
00:05:15,165 --> 00:05:16,365
over here, fellas, all right?
119
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:19,768
I'll tell you.
120
00:05:19,803 --> 00:05:21,019
This brings back memories
121
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,386
of my dad when I was a kid.
122
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:23,170
Did you all always used to order
123
00:05:23,206 --> 00:05:24,250
your shoes through the mail?
124
00:05:24,274 --> 00:05:26,057
He was always getting taken
125
00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:27,259
by some huckster.
126
00:05:29,263 --> 00:05:30,428
Sam,
127
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:31,674
if you were throwing a party,
128
00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:33,392
would you order Dom
Perignon or Cristal?
129
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:34,132
Cristal.
130
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,067
Dom Perignon it is, then.
131
00:05:37,954 --> 00:05:40,955
This is getting insulting.
132
00:05:40,990 --> 00:05:43,508
You know, I don't think
that she respects us.
133
00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:44,976
What do you mean "us," Sam?
134
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,645
You're the one who goofed
up that champagne thing.
135
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,647
Woody, come on, man.
136
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:50,949
We're a team.
137
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:53,851
Is that the insulting part?
138
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,386
This... the point is,
139
00:05:55,421 --> 00:05:56,465
she doesn't think
that we're worthy
140
00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:59,723
of hanging around
with her society friends.
141
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:02,143
She thinks we're nincompoops.
142
00:06:02,178 --> 00:06:04,245
Nincompoops?
143
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,246
Let's go, Sam.
144
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:06,575
We're going to talk to her.
145
00:06:06,599 --> 00:06:07,549
What?
146
00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:10,618
Nobody calls Woody
Boyd a nincompoop.
147
00:06:10,654 --> 00:06:13,054
Except my dad.
148
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:18,242
Miss Howe,
149
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:19,994
with all due respect,
150
00:06:20,029 --> 00:06:22,830
that nincompoop
crack really hurt.
151
00:06:22,865 --> 00:06:26,601
Woody, I didn't call
you a nincompoop.
152
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:29,971
All right, then why you won't
let us tend bar at your party?
153
00:06:30,006 --> 00:06:30,872
Is it because you think
we're incompetent?
154
00:06:30,907 --> 00:06:32,719
You think we're
not smooth enough?
155
00:06:32,743 --> 00:06:35,176
You think we're uncouth?
156
00:06:35,211 --> 00:06:37,195
No, I need you here.
157
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,797
Oh, okay.
158
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,333
Let's go, Sam.
159
00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:42,378
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
160
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,263
What are you doing?
Where are you going?
161
00:06:44,287 --> 00:06:45,287
Sam, now, look.
162
00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:46,332
Really, why do you care?
163
00:06:46,356 --> 00:06:48,267
Why on Earth do you
want to work this party?
164
00:06:48,291 --> 00:06:50,035
All right, you know,
by not hiring us,
165
00:06:50,059 --> 00:06:51,771
what you're doing is you're
telling the rest of the world
166
00:06:51,795 --> 00:06:55,296
that Sam Malone is not fit
for the society of decent folks,
167
00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:57,699
that he's incompetent,
that he's a clod.
168
00:06:57,734 --> 00:06:58,734
What about me, Sam?
169
00:06:58,769 --> 00:07:00,201
You, too, Woody.
170
00:07:00,236 --> 00:07:01,535
I'm going to tell you
171
00:07:01,571 --> 00:07:02,520
something, lady.
172
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:03,832
We may not have
come out of Harvard.
173
00:07:03,856 --> 00:07:05,234
We may not belong
to a yacht club.
174
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,925
We may not have tended
bar at a polo tournament,
175
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,572
but we know how to do our job
176
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:13,531
and we do it with
dignity and class.
177
00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:16,534
You're right.
178
00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:18,536
I'm sorry. The job is yours.
179
00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:20,516
All right! Whoa, baby!
180
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:21,673
Whoo!
181
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:25,043
Whoo! Whoo, baby!
182
00:07:36,806 --> 00:07:38,539
Lovely party, Rebecca.
183
00:07:38,574 --> 00:07:40,074
Why, thank you, Mr. Collier.
184
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:46,125
Isn't this place something, Sam?
185
00:07:46,149 --> 00:07:47,149
Ooh, yeah.
186
00:07:47,183 --> 00:07:48,816
I think it's even nicer
187
00:07:48,851 --> 00:07:51,753
than Wheeler's Funeral
Parlor in Hanover.
188
00:07:51,788 --> 00:07:54,867
Of course, that's not the
most fun place in town.
189
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,056
Well, I'll bet not.
190
00:07:56,092 --> 00:07:58,259
That would be
Bob's Funeral Parlor.
191
00:08:00,129 --> 00:08:01,162
Oh, my God.
192
00:08:01,197 --> 00:08:04,582
Woody, is it me or is
that woman gorgeous?
193
00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:06,150
You look nice, Sam,
194
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:09,598
but I'm going to have
to go with the woman.
195
00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:11,422
Do me a favor
here, will ya, buddy?
196
00:08:11,457 --> 00:08:13,390
Hold down the fort here
197
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,866
while I pass that lady a
tray of smoked Sammy.
198
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,699
Great party, huh?
199
00:08:21,734 --> 00:08:23,034
Yes.
200
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:26,804
I'll have a Manhattan.
201
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,073
What?
202
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,907
Oh, this.
203
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:32,110
Well, you think I'm
a bartender, huh?
204
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:35,429
What do you think you are?
205
00:08:35,465 --> 00:08:36,585
Well, to tell you the truth,
206
00:08:36,616 --> 00:08:37,682
I used to be a bartender,
207
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:39,850
but now I'm an
eccentric millionaire.
208
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:42,587
I just dress like
this to remind myself
209
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,789
of my modest beginnings.
210
00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:46,924
Back behind the bar.
211
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,511
I pay her to say that.
It keeps me humble.
212
00:08:50,546 --> 00:08:52,179
Malone, now!
213
00:08:52,215 --> 00:08:56,033
Ooh, that was a good one, huh?
214
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:59,520
I'm going to have to
give her a raise, huh?
215
00:08:59,556 --> 00:09:02,390
Looking good.
216
00:09:02,425 --> 00:09:03,941
Woody, what are you doing?!
217
00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:05,610
That is not a trash can.
218
00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:07,178
That is a work of art.
219
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:14,152
Oh, my God.
220
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,532
This is just what I need
is for Collier to see this.
221
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,633
He is a collector.
222
00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:19,323
Oh, hey, let's calm down now.
223
00:09:19,358 --> 00:09:20,958
Nobody's seen anything yet.
224
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,694
Woody, take it in the
kitchen and clean it out.
225
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:24,840
Sure, Sam. Sorry, Miss Howe.
226
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:25,830
Woody, go. Just go.
227
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:27,799
I got you. I got you.
228
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:28,844
I tell you, Sam.
229
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:30,101
This is the last time
230
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:31,347
I'm going to throw one
of these fancy parties.
231
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:33,349
The next time one of
these hotshots wants...
232
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,090
Don't worry, Ms. Howe.
233
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:42,446
It was only a tray of glasses.
234
00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:47,418
Thank God. Let's
not tempt fate, Woody.
235
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:48,819
I'll clean it myself.
236
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:53,107
They weren't great glasses,
Sam, and they were dirty.
237
00:10:00,082 --> 00:10:03,034
Just a guess here: uh, the vase?
238
00:10:14,508 --> 00:10:16,742
It was there. I was holding it.
239
00:10:16,777 --> 00:10:20,045
It was right in my
hands, and now it's gone.
240
00:10:20,081 --> 00:10:21,614
Maybe we can
glue it back together
241
00:10:21,649 --> 00:10:22,915
and no one will ever know.
242
00:10:24,069 --> 00:10:25,250
Forget that.
243
00:10:25,286 --> 00:10:26,969
Oh!
244
00:10:27,005 --> 00:10:28,271
Just calm down now.
245
00:10:28,306 --> 00:10:29,872
Calm down. It was an accident.
246
00:10:29,908 --> 00:10:31,507
I'm sure Mr. Collier
will understand.
247
00:10:31,542 --> 00:10:32,619
No, he won't.
248
00:10:32,643 --> 00:10:33,720
This isn't the first time
249
00:10:33,744 --> 00:10:35,071
I've goofed up at the company.
250
00:10:35,095 --> 00:10:36,790
I started out as
a junior executive
251
00:10:36,814 --> 00:10:39,348
and I'm diligently working
my way down to the mailroom
252
00:10:39,383 --> 00:10:44,186
with a brief stopover at
that Siberia called Cheers.
253
00:10:44,221 --> 00:10:48,341
Shh-shh. Stop it. Just
calm down here. Calm down.
254
00:10:48,376 --> 00:10:50,976
I know. I'll just resign now,
255
00:10:51,011 --> 00:10:52,578
move back to San Diego,
256
00:10:52,613 --> 00:10:54,846
join the Navy, grow old and die.
257
00:10:54,882 --> 00:10:55,982
Oh...
258
00:10:57,552 --> 00:11:01,687
Boy, Sam, I really
feel sorry for her.
259
00:11:01,722 --> 00:11:04,756
Never thought I'd
say it, but so do I.
260
00:11:04,792 --> 00:11:07,693
Look at this party she
threw together here,
261
00:11:07,728 --> 00:11:10,796
and then that happens. Poor kid.
262
00:11:12,633 --> 00:11:14,144
You think they'll
make me manager?
263
00:11:14,168 --> 00:11:15,601
Hey, yo, over here.
264
00:11:21,075 --> 00:11:23,775
You know, Woody,
265
00:11:23,811 --> 00:11:26,162
I'm about to do a
decent thing here.
266
00:11:26,197 --> 00:11:27,407
Get out.
267
00:11:27,431 --> 00:11:29,047
Yeah.
268
00:11:29,083 --> 00:11:30,561
I'm going to take
the fall for this.
269
00:11:30,585 --> 00:11:33,151
What the hell? I'm
a great bartender.
270
00:11:33,187 --> 00:11:35,254
I can get a job anywhere I want.
271
00:11:35,289 --> 00:11:38,084
Sam, that's the second
nicest thing you've ever done.
272
00:11:38,108 --> 00:11:39,058
Well, thank you.
273
00:11:39,093 --> 00:11:41,127
What's the nicest?
274
00:11:41,162 --> 00:11:43,746
When you let me
drive your Corvette.
275
00:11:43,781 --> 00:11:44,864
Right. Right, right.
276
00:11:44,899 --> 00:11:46,332
That's good. That's good.
277
00:11:50,137 --> 00:11:52,871
Excuse me, young man.
278
00:11:52,907 --> 00:11:54,751
What happened to the
vase that was sitting there?
279
00:11:54,775 --> 00:11:55,791
Somebody move it?
280
00:11:59,997 --> 00:12:02,264
Sir, I have a confession.
281
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:03,432
My name is Woody Boyd,
282
00:12:03,467 --> 00:12:05,278
and by accident,
I broke your vase.
283
00:12:05,302 --> 00:12:07,420
You...
284
00:12:07,455 --> 00:12:09,221
you broke it?!
285
00:12:09,256 --> 00:12:10,456
You...
286
00:12:11,609 --> 00:12:14,042
Do you know how
many years I waited
287
00:12:14,077 --> 00:12:15,527
to add that to my collection?
288
00:12:16,581 --> 00:12:19,114
Do you realize the
significance of that piece?
289
00:12:19,149 --> 00:12:20,966
No, sir.
290
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:23,268
And I also broke some glasses.
291
00:12:27,208 --> 00:12:29,124
No, Sam, I can't let you do it.
292
00:12:29,159 --> 00:12:30,392
It wouldn't be right if you...
293
00:12:31,529 --> 00:12:35,847
Uh, Mr. Collier, there's
been a terrible accident.
294
00:12:35,883 --> 00:12:38,150
Yes. This person just told me
295
00:12:38,185 --> 00:12:41,186
how he destroyed my vase.
296
00:12:41,222 --> 00:12:42,755
But Woody didn't do it.
297
00:12:42,790 --> 00:12:45,024
What she means is I
didn't do it on purpose.
298
00:12:45,059 --> 00:12:46,425
Yes, I know.
299
00:12:46,461 --> 00:12:49,161
The only thing that can
match my great disappointment
300
00:12:49,197 --> 00:12:52,564
at losing the vase
is the admiration
301
00:12:52,599 --> 00:12:54,800
that I feel for this boy.
302
00:12:58,189 --> 00:13:01,117
Woody, you showed
great courage and integrity
303
00:13:01,141 --> 00:13:03,375
in stepping up to
face the music here.
304
00:13:03,411 --> 00:13:05,877
Rebecca, would you
mind standing in for Woody
305
00:13:05,913 --> 00:13:06,923
for a little while?
306
00:13:06,947 --> 00:13:08,057
You wouldn't mind, would you?
307
00:13:08,081 --> 00:13:10,401
I'd like to get to
know him better.
308
00:13:13,521 --> 00:13:16,221
You want a drink?
309
00:13:16,257 --> 00:13:18,090
Well, sure.
310
00:13:18,126 --> 00:13:20,446
Well, just tell the girl.
311
00:13:22,113 --> 00:13:25,347
Miss Howe, I'll have
a... gin and tonic.
312
00:13:25,383 --> 00:13:26,843
Well, come on.
She'll bring 'em in.
313
00:13:26,867 --> 00:13:29,307
Oh.
314
00:13:40,848 --> 00:13:43,081
Another Manhattan.
315
00:13:43,117 --> 00:13:45,117
Manhattan, huh?
316
00:13:45,153 --> 00:13:47,869
I own a lot of that, you know?
317
00:13:47,905 --> 00:13:50,306
Right, the eccentric
millionaire routine.
318
00:13:50,341 --> 00:13:52,073
You know, I got to
tell you the truth here.
319
00:13:52,109 --> 00:13:54,304
I'm getting kind of bored
serving all these stiffs drinks.
320
00:13:54,328 --> 00:13:55,877
What do you say you and I go out
321
00:13:55,913 --> 00:13:57,179
and spend some of my money?
322
00:13:57,214 --> 00:13:58,948
What time does
France close anyway?
323
00:14:01,318 --> 00:14:02,863
I think they're remodeling.
324
00:14:02,887 --> 00:14:04,219
Oh.
325
00:14:04,254 --> 00:14:05,749
Have any other suggestions?
326
00:14:05,773 --> 00:14:08,541
Unfortunately, my
mansion's being painted
327
00:14:08,576 --> 00:14:10,242
and my yacht's in dry dock.
328
00:14:10,277 --> 00:14:11,243
Well, let me see...
329
00:14:11,278 --> 00:14:12,445
Oh, I know it. I know it.
330
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:13,646
You know, my chauffeur's
331
00:14:13,681 --> 00:14:15,748
got a little one-bedroom
apartment downtown.
332
00:14:15,783 --> 00:14:18,500
What do you say you
and I go slumming?
333
00:14:18,535 --> 00:14:19,546
Let me guess:
334
00:14:19,570 --> 00:14:22,320
you're not really
rich at all, are you?
335
00:14:22,356 --> 00:14:23,805
Well, now, define "rich."
336
00:14:23,841 --> 00:14:24,906
I have my health.
337
00:14:27,378 --> 00:14:30,662
I... uh, think I'll just
stick with the drink.
338
00:14:30,698 --> 00:14:31,847
Let me get this straight:
339
00:14:31,882 --> 00:14:33,827
when you thought
that I was a millionaire,
340
00:14:33,851 --> 00:14:35,362
you were ready
to go out with me,
341
00:14:35,386 --> 00:14:37,164
but now that I'm just
a healthy bartender,
342
00:14:37,188 --> 00:14:39,166
you don't want to have
anything to do with me.
343
00:14:39,190 --> 00:14:40,222
I gotta tell you, lady,
344
00:14:40,258 --> 00:14:41,969
that makes you an
incredibly shallow person.
345
00:14:41,993 --> 00:14:43,737
Do you actually think
this sort of approach
346
00:14:43,761 --> 00:14:44,838
is going to work?
347
00:14:44,862 --> 00:14:46,078
Absolutely.
348
00:14:46,114 --> 00:14:48,413
You see, I'm an incredibly
shallow person myself.
349
00:14:48,449 --> 00:14:50,532
Between the two of us,
350
00:14:50,567 --> 00:14:53,302
we couldn't make a
decent wading pool.
351
00:14:53,337 --> 00:14:54,936
What do you say, huh?
352
00:14:54,972 --> 00:14:57,105
Don't I know you from somewhere?
353
00:14:57,141 --> 00:14:58,418
Yeah, well, you probably
354
00:14:58,442 --> 00:15:00,253
caught me out at Fenway, huh?
355
00:15:00,277 --> 00:15:01,343
Of course.
356
00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:04,046
I bought a bag of
peanuts from you.
357
00:15:09,820 --> 00:15:12,787
Another round of brandies
for Butch and Sundance.
358
00:15:14,892 --> 00:15:16,892
They're really, uh,
hitting it off, huh?
359
00:15:16,927 --> 00:15:18,205
I should say so.
360
00:15:18,229 --> 00:15:20,863
They're in there
singing school songs.
361
00:15:20,898 --> 00:15:22,692
If you hate Ivy
League fight songs,
362
00:15:22,716 --> 00:15:26,635
wait till you hear one
from bartending school.
363
00:15:26,670 --> 00:15:28,465
You're not taking
this very well, are you?
364
00:15:28,489 --> 00:15:30,183
What, that little backstabber?
365
00:15:30,207 --> 00:15:31,640
Oh, now cut that out.
366
00:15:31,676 --> 00:15:34,109
Woody took a big risk, you know.
367
00:15:34,145 --> 00:15:36,545
You broke the vase and
he took the blame for it.
368
00:15:36,580 --> 00:15:38,280
It didn't have to
turn out that way.
369
00:15:38,315 --> 00:15:40,327
He just had your
best interest at heart.
370
00:15:40,351 --> 00:15:41,717
I know.
371
00:15:41,753 --> 00:15:44,233
I could just hug him till
his tongue turns black.
372
00:15:50,762 --> 00:15:53,896
You know, I'm not
convinced you're a millionaire,
373
00:15:53,931 --> 00:15:58,333
but I am sold on
the eccentric part.
374
00:15:58,369 --> 00:16:00,002
Well, that's a start.
375
00:16:00,037 --> 00:16:01,548
And since I'm not getting
376
00:16:01,572 --> 00:16:03,133
any interesting
nibbles tonight anyway,
377
00:16:03,157 --> 00:16:05,590
I'm reconsidering your offer.
378
00:16:05,626 --> 00:16:08,794
Nibbles are my specialty.
379
00:16:08,829 --> 00:16:10,246
Great.
380
00:16:10,281 --> 00:16:12,801
Well, what time will
you be getting off?
381
00:16:21,208 --> 00:16:23,375
Oh, listen, I've got to
show you a trick shot.
382
00:16:23,411 --> 00:16:24,710
Now you watch this.
383
00:16:24,745 --> 00:16:26,812
Got you again, Pinky!
384
00:16:28,332 --> 00:16:30,049
You can't do that!
385
00:16:30,084 --> 00:16:31,617
Oh, uh...
386
00:16:31,652 --> 00:16:34,014
You seem to have something
in your eye, Woodhead.
387
00:16:34,038 --> 00:16:35,537
I'll get it for you.
388
00:16:35,572 --> 00:16:37,706
Oh, Pinky, stop!
389
00:16:37,742 --> 00:16:40,258
It's noogie time!
390
00:16:40,293 --> 00:16:42,027
Oh, no! No! No!
391
00:16:42,062 --> 00:16:43,928
No, Woody!
392
00:16:43,964 --> 00:16:45,531
No! No more!
393
00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:51,436
I see our serving wench is here.
394
00:16:53,140 --> 00:16:54,640
I mean, hello, Miss Howe.
395
00:16:54,675 --> 00:16:57,108
Oh, Woody.
396
00:16:57,144 --> 00:17:00,078
I tell you, you have
no idea how hard it is
397
00:17:00,113 --> 00:17:01,880
to find young fellas
398
00:17:01,915 --> 00:17:04,260
with your stuff in
this day and age.
399
00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:06,452
You ought to see the
buttoned-down brats
400
00:17:06,487 --> 00:17:08,531
my granddaughter
drags home from college.
401
00:17:08,555 --> 00:17:10,889
She really deserves someone
402
00:17:10,925 --> 00:17:12,224
more solid, someone real.
403
00:17:15,096 --> 00:17:18,063
Someone with a strong back
404
00:17:18,098 --> 00:17:19,809
and a thick neck, you know?
405
00:17:19,833 --> 00:17:21,633
Someone like you, Woody.
406
00:17:21,668 --> 00:17:23,585
Thank you, sir. I couldn't.
407
00:17:23,620 --> 00:17:25,704
Yeah, I could.
408
00:17:29,043 --> 00:17:32,510
She's out in Vail right
now on a skiing holiday.
409
00:17:32,546 --> 00:17:35,681
I'm going up there tomorrow.
410
00:17:35,716 --> 00:17:38,216
Woody, why don't you join me?
411
00:17:39,186 --> 00:17:40,068
You mean that, Pinky?
412
00:17:40,104 --> 00:17:41,402
You bet I do.
413
00:17:41,438 --> 00:17:44,189
Well, I don't know if Miss
Howe would be too happy...
414
00:17:44,225 --> 00:17:45,708
Oh, she'll be thrilled.
415
00:17:45,743 --> 00:17:47,676
To my toes.
416
00:17:47,711 --> 00:17:48,911
See?
417
00:17:48,946 --> 00:17:50,540
So, great, I'll go tell Jamison
418
00:17:50,564 --> 00:17:52,047
to arrange it right now.
419
00:17:52,082 --> 00:17:53,649
Ah!
420
00:17:53,684 --> 00:17:58,019
Woody, where do
you get these things?!
421
00:17:59,724 --> 00:18:01,457
Go figure, Miss Howe.
422
00:18:01,492 --> 00:18:03,359
I mean, you break the vase,
423
00:18:03,394 --> 00:18:06,729
and I end up being
the big boss' buddy.
424
00:18:08,265 --> 00:18:09,547
Isn't life funny?
425
00:18:09,583 --> 00:18:11,333
Do you mean funny "ha-ha"
426
00:18:11,368 --> 00:18:13,786
or funny "a living nightmare"?
427
00:18:15,823 --> 00:18:17,050
Is something wrong, Miss Howe?
428
00:18:17,074 --> 00:18:19,624
Yes, something is wrong.
429
00:18:19,660 --> 00:18:21,638
I am the one who
should be playing pool.
430
00:18:21,662 --> 00:18:24,040
I'm the one who should be
smoking cigars and drinking brandy.
431
00:18:24,064 --> 00:18:27,544
I'm the one who should be
going out with his granddaughter.
432
00:18:28,369 --> 00:18:30,185
You know what I mean.
433
00:18:30,220 --> 00:18:31,653
Well, I'm sorry, Miss Howe.
434
00:18:31,688 --> 00:18:33,388
I was only trying to help.
435
00:18:33,423 --> 00:18:34,790
Okay, Woody, we're all set.
436
00:18:34,825 --> 00:18:37,525
I'll stop by the bar tomorrow
afternoon and pick you up.
437
00:18:39,046 --> 00:18:40,579
Pinky, I have a confession.
438
00:18:41,732 --> 00:18:44,933
I didn't break your
vase. Miss Howe did.
439
00:18:46,753 --> 00:18:49,237
Whew, glad I got
that off my chest.
440
00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:52,858
You broke my vase?
441
00:18:52,893 --> 00:18:56,428
Well, actually, yes.
442
00:18:56,463 --> 00:18:59,080
That's the most cowardly
thing I have ever heard.
443
00:19:00,784 --> 00:19:02,846
You'd let this fine young
man take the blame
444
00:19:02,870 --> 00:19:04,352
for your clumsiness?
445
00:19:04,387 --> 00:19:06,504
I don't know, Miss Howe.
446
00:19:06,540 --> 00:19:08,239
I'm going to have to
seriously reconsider
447
00:19:08,275 --> 00:19:11,043
your future with
our organization.
448
00:19:11,078 --> 00:19:12,610
Uh, Pinky, wait a minute here.
449
00:19:12,646 --> 00:19:15,013
Uh, Miss Howe
is a very nice lady.
450
00:19:15,049 --> 00:19:17,149
Klutzy, sure, but...
451
00:19:17,184 --> 00:19:19,184
she has a heart of gold.
452
00:19:19,219 --> 00:19:22,020
Well... well, all right.
453
00:19:22,055 --> 00:19:25,156
Woody, if you'll vouch
for her, I'll give her
454
00:19:25,192 --> 00:19:27,659
another chance, I guess.
455
00:19:27,695 --> 00:19:28,993
Thanks, Pinky.
456
00:19:29,029 --> 00:19:32,063
Hey, by the way,
your barn door's open.
457
00:19:34,635 --> 00:19:37,586
Woody!
458
00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:45,127
Hey, everybody.
459
00:19:45,162 --> 00:19:47,379
Look what the shoe
fairy left under my pillow.
460
00:19:48,866 --> 00:19:50,777
Okay, Fox and
Hounds, that's you, Pete.
461
00:19:50,801 --> 00:19:54,002
Uh, Hugh, you
had the Executives.
462
00:19:54,037 --> 00:19:55,704
Uh, Norm, you had
the Old Smoothies,
463
00:19:55,739 --> 00:19:56,688
didn't you?
464
00:19:56,724 --> 00:19:57,756
Uh, let's see... Frasier.
465
00:19:57,791 --> 00:19:59,291
Would you give those to Frasier?
466
00:19:59,326 --> 00:20:00,821
All right, who had
the, uh, Playboy?
467
00:20:00,845 --> 00:20:02,527
Who else?
468
00:20:07,101 --> 00:20:08,500
Hold it. Hold it.
469
00:20:08,535 --> 00:20:09,802
Wait a minute.
470
00:20:09,837 --> 00:20:12,971
You bought shoes from
Boston's fashion king,
471
00:20:13,007 --> 00:20:14,606
Oh Leg the Weenie?
472
00:20:14,641 --> 00:20:16,075
Yeah.
473
00:20:16,110 --> 00:20:18,627
I can't leave you guys
alone for a minute.
474
00:20:18,662 --> 00:20:20,240
Hey, Cliff, I got
to hand it to you.
475
00:20:20,264 --> 00:20:21,213
These are really comfortable.
476
00:20:21,248 --> 00:20:22,447
Eh, you bet ya.
477
00:20:22,482 --> 00:20:23,698
What style are these?
478
00:20:23,733 --> 00:20:24,515
The Star Fighter.
479
00:20:24,551 --> 00:20:25,184
Oh.
480
00:20:25,219 --> 00:20:26,702
Yes.
481
00:20:26,737 --> 00:20:29,638
I was sorely tempted
to get the Coup de Villes,
482
00:20:29,673 --> 00:20:32,607
but, uh, I do
love tassels, so...
483
00:20:38,531 --> 00:20:41,933
Cliffie, mine squeak.
484
00:20:41,969 --> 00:20:44,002
Uh, after a few weeks
of constant wear,
485
00:20:44,038 --> 00:20:45,053
it'll be all right.
486
00:20:49,292 --> 00:20:52,360
Make it stop.
487
00:20:52,396 --> 00:20:54,162
Normie, what's the big deal?
488
00:20:54,197 --> 00:20:57,299
I mean, squeaky shoes are
only a problem if you're a mugger.
489
00:20:58,702 --> 00:21:02,187
Cliff, mine are a
little squeaky, too.
490
00:21:05,876 --> 00:21:08,293
Mine are squeaking, too, Cliff.
491
00:21:09,229 --> 00:21:10,645
In E Minor.
492
00:21:16,903 --> 00:21:19,153
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
stop! Freeze, everybody.
493
00:21:21,058 --> 00:21:23,658
Back on your barstools
right now. Go on.
494
00:21:27,731 --> 00:21:29,481
Hurry up.
495
00:21:29,516 --> 00:21:31,349
Thank you.
496
00:21:37,925 --> 00:21:38,957
Miss Howe.
497
00:21:40,043 --> 00:21:41,626
May I see you for a moment?
498
00:21:41,661 --> 00:21:43,295
Yes, sir.
499
00:21:43,330 --> 00:21:45,642
He's changed his mind.
500
00:21:45,666 --> 00:21:46,965
I'm doomed.
501
00:21:47,001 --> 00:21:49,067
Next stop: hell.
502
00:21:49,103 --> 00:21:50,836
Compliment his tie.
503
00:21:53,323 --> 00:21:57,425
Last night at the party someone
broke an irreplaceable vase.
504
00:21:57,461 --> 00:21:59,711
That's a very nice tie.
505
00:22:00,714 --> 00:22:02,247
Are you listening to me?
506
00:22:03,550 --> 00:22:05,083
We found the
remains in the trash.
507
00:22:05,118 --> 00:22:06,718
Now, is it any of your people?
508
00:22:06,753 --> 00:22:09,132
You mean you don't
know who broke it?
509
00:22:09,156 --> 00:22:11,372
Unfortunately, I had a
little too much to drink.
510
00:22:11,408 --> 00:22:13,375
The whole evening's
rather foggy.
511
00:22:13,410 --> 00:22:15,372
And you mean you
don't remember anything,
512
00:22:15,396 --> 00:22:18,113
and you have no idea
513
00:22:18,148 --> 00:22:19,581
who did it?
514
00:22:19,617 --> 00:22:20,982
No, but when I find out,
515
00:22:21,017 --> 00:22:23,351
they're going to wish they
never crossed my path.
516
00:22:23,386 --> 00:22:24,602
'Cause I'll find
517
00:22:24,637 --> 00:22:25,915
a way to make their life
518
00:22:25,939 --> 00:22:27,622
a living hell.
519
00:22:27,657 --> 00:22:28,802
I don't blame you.
520
00:22:28,826 --> 00:22:30,269
And you know, when
you find out who did it,
521
00:22:30,293 --> 00:22:31,620
give me a call, because
I'd like to give them
522
00:22:31,644 --> 00:22:32,727
a piece of my mind.
523
00:22:32,762 --> 00:22:35,442
- Guess who, Pinky?!
- Woody! Woody!
524
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,118
What in God's name do
you think you're doing?
525
00:22:40,153 --> 00:22:43,588
Oh, I'll show you
what I'm doing. Ah!
526
00:22:43,623 --> 00:22:45,907
Noogie!
527
00:22:45,942 --> 00:22:48,409
Who is this madman?
528
00:22:48,445 --> 00:22:50,145
This is Woody Boyd.
529
00:22:50,180 --> 00:22:51,290
Woody,
530
00:22:51,314 --> 00:22:52,959
last night, a very valuable vase
531
00:22:52,983 --> 00:22:54,794
was broken at Mr. Collier's.
532
00:22:54,818 --> 00:22:58,303
But he doesn't
remember who did it.
533
00:22:58,338 --> 00:23:00,638
Of course he knows
who did it. It was...
534
00:23:00,673 --> 00:23:02,624
Fire! Fire!
535
00:23:04,645 --> 00:23:05,838
What fire?
536
00:23:05,862 --> 00:23:07,996
Now wait. Hold it! Now hold it.
537
00:23:08,032 --> 00:23:09,381
There is no fire.
538
00:23:10,183 --> 00:23:11,444
She didn't say "fire."
539
00:23:11,468 --> 00:23:14,335
Uh, she said "flyer."
540
00:23:14,371 --> 00:23:17,605
Yes, yes, I thought I saw
Amelia Earhart up there.
541
00:23:17,641 --> 00:23:20,008
Great, uh,
542
00:23:20,044 --> 00:23:21,044
nice save, Rebecca.
543
00:23:26,416 --> 00:23:31,053
What in God's name
is going on here?
544
00:23:31,088 --> 00:23:33,621
Well, it's the, uh...
545
00:23:33,657 --> 00:23:35,057
Squeaky Shoe Club.
546
00:23:35,092 --> 00:23:38,343
Look, I intend to get
to the bottom of this.
547
00:23:38,378 --> 00:23:41,629
Now Miss Howe, you were in
charge of that party last night.
548
00:23:41,665 --> 00:23:45,216
Do you or do you not
know who broke my vase?
549
00:23:45,251 --> 00:23:46,518
Of course she does.
550
00:23:46,553 --> 00:23:47,580
I certainly do.
551
00:23:47,604 --> 00:23:49,349
It's time the truth came out.
552
00:23:49,373 --> 00:23:50,550
It was... Me.
553
00:23:50,574 --> 00:23:53,391
No, Sam. Yes, Rebecca.
554
00:23:53,427 --> 00:23:55,710
I want to do this.
555
00:23:55,746 --> 00:23:57,579
You, huh?
556
00:23:57,614 --> 00:23:59,514
Sir...
557
00:23:59,549 --> 00:24:01,899
you have grit.
558
00:24:08,859 --> 00:24:11,659
You don't ski by
any chance, do you?
38494
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