All language subtitles for Cheers - 822 - Loverboyd

(Sam)
cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.

Good afternoon, everyone.
Have i missed anything?

Uh, well, we're just having
a little bit of spring
training debate over here.

Mmm.
Who do you, uh,

who do you pick
for the pennant
this year, huh?

Well, if that's not
the most loaded question
i've ever heard.

Uh, who are you
all going with,
uh, boston, perchance?

Uh, as coincidence
would have it, yeah.

You know, we go through
the same charade
every year.

Colored by your
hometown chauvinism,

you throw statistics
and feasibility to the wind

and predict boston,

and you're usually wrong.

Well, i'm going out
on a limb this year.

I'm going to be
the only one to pick
the new york yankees.

You're not the only one
to pick the yankees, frase.

I'm not?
(Carla)
no. Steve picked them, too.

Hey, woody,
is steve back there
with you?

(Woody)
you bet, carla.

[Steve exclaiming
in muffled voice]

(frasier)
you didn't let me finish.

You see,
i--i picked the yankees
to lose, you see?

I, uh,

i love the red sox.

Don't hurt me, please.

¶ Sometimes you want to go

¶ where everybody
knows your name ¶

¶ and they're always
glad you came ¶

¶ you wanna be
where you can see ¶

¶ our troubles
are all the same ¶

¶ you wanna go
where everybody
knows your name ¶

hey, everybody.

Oh, sam,
you're just the guy
i've been lookin' for.

Why is that, woody?

'Cause you weren't here.

Check this out, sam.

It's a promise ring
for kelly.

By givin' her
this ring,

i'm makin' a deep
and solemn promise

that someday
i'm gonna give her
an engagement ring.

That's beautiful, man.
That's beautiful.

I've given a lot of those
to women.

Of course,
uh, in my case,

it was a deep
and solemn promise

that their backs
will arch.

So, uh, woodworth,

why the, uh, sudden jump
on the old bullet train
to commitmentville, huh?

Well, um,
kelly's leavin' tomorrow.

Her dad's sendin' her
to europe

to study for a year.

I wanna give her this ring
so she won't forget me.

God, a whole year.

I'm gonna be
one lost and lonely soul.

Mmm.

[Laughing]

"bullet train
to commitmentville."

You crack me up,
mr. Clavin.

Thank you, woody.

Woody, you can't believe
that your beloved kelly
would actually forget you.

Well, i love kelly
and all, dr. Crane,

but you gotta admit,
she's no rocket scientist.

Yeah. I sympathize, woody.

I once, uh, experienced
a painful separation myself.

A woman i cared
very, very deeply about
left me.

Oh, yeah.

Your mom moved
to florida.

She's right.

I think i'm gonna go
and give that little cutie
a call right now.

Wow.

Kelly going to study
in europe.

Well, it'll be tough
on you, woody,

but, boy,
what an opportunity
for her.

Yeah.
You're right,
miss howe.

You know,
and if i know her father,

she's not gonna
have to do it
like i did.

Backpacking,
hanging out
in seedy youth hostels,

hitching rides
with sleazy locals

who use
their inability
to speak english

as an excuse
to give you directions
on your sweater.

That sweet
little kelly girl

will get everything
handed to her
on a silver platter.

I hope she chokes
on europe.

Well, miss howe
shouldn't be mad
at kelly.

I mean,
it's her dad's idea.

He's just
sendin' her away
to hurt me.

Oh, come on, woody.
Probably doesn't have anything
to do with you.

He probably just wants
to prove to his friends

that he's rich enough
to send his daughter
to a fancy school in europe.

Has it occurred
to anyone

that kelly might just want
the best education
money can buy?

Well, that could be,
dr. Crane,

but i think
he's sendin' her
to europe

to get her away from me.

Why do you think that?

Because he told me so.

Afternoon, everybody.

(All)
norm!

Nice cold beer
coming up,
mr. Peterson.

You mean, nice cold beer
going down mr. Peterson.

Wait a minute.
Not so fast.

What?
It's time for us
to pick our designated driver

for the night.
[Norm groaning]

ok, you all
know the rules.

Write your names down
on a slip of paper.

Uh, you know, i understand
you can, uh, tell a lot
about a person

by analyzing
their signature.

You ever-- you ever,
uh, get into that, doc?

Oh, come on.

I'm a trained psychiatrist,

not some fortune-teller
in a cheap carnival tent.

Yeah, well,
that's too bad.

I always, uh, wondered
what my signature
said about me.

Mother of god!

What?

And the lucky loser is...

yeesh!

Cliff clavin.

You all get
to ride shotgun

in a brand-new
postal vehicle.

Oh, great.

We'll all have a ride,

but we'll all go
to the wrong address.

That better be
the beer talking.

Well, cliffie,
i guess that's just
the luck of the draw, huh?

Speaking of draw,
sammy--
wait a minute,

what's this?
What?

What? Give me that.
No! Wait a minute.

This says "norm peterson."

[All groaning]
hey, wait a minute!

You didn't put this
in the hat!

Oh, it's supposed to go
in the hat?

[All groaning]

come on.

Look, how many times
have you done this?

Well, i'm embarrassed to say
this is my very first time.

This is the first time
you cheated?

Oh, i thought you meant
getting caught.

All right.
Thanks to your good buddy,
norm peterson,

the first drawing
is null and void.

Ok, everybody.

Once again,
names in the hat.

(Carla)
come on.

I'm watching you, peterson.

Don't watch me,
carla.

What, you think
i like it?

All right.

And the lucky loser is...

norm peterson.

[All exclaiming]
well, well, well.

Great. Great.
First time i enter
this damn thing.

You couldn't pick
"norm peterson"

or "norm peterson"?

[Mumbling]

well, "frasier crane."
At least one person
here is honest.

I beg your pardon.
I wrote "norm peterson."

I guess you're right.
I wrote that.

Hi, woody.

Oh, hey, kelly.
I didn't expect
to see you here.

Oh, woody, i'm leaving
for europe first thing
in the morning,

and i wanted to spend
every single free minute
of the time i have left

with you.

That's a great idea.

But first,
i have to get my hair done.

Oh, then i have to get
my shots,

and i have to buy
a new bathing suit.

Oh, and i haven't even
started packing.

So what are you saying,
kelly?

I guess, bye.

Well, at least we had
this time together.

Oh, listen, before you go,
there's somethin' i want
to give you.

This

is a promise ring.

By giving you
this ring,

i'm makin' a promise
that someday

i'm gonna be giving you
an engagement ring.

Oh, woody,
that's beautiful.

Yeah, well, it's been
in my family for years.

My dad gave it
to some chick on guam.

That--that was
before he met my mom.

Oh. Woody, i'll never
take it off.

Yeah.

But why are you
giving this to me right now?

Oh, well,
i'm on a break right now.

Not since myrna loy
and william powell

have i heard
such a rich collection
of witticisms

exchanged
in such a pithy manner.

Was that, that, uh,
drunk couple

who was always fighting
in the pool room there?

No. Those were the lunts.

Well, i'm--i'm givin' this
to you

because you're gonna be
in europe,

and you're gonna be meetin'
all those rich dukes
and earls

and counts and basies
and stuff, you know.

Woody, you have nothing
to worry about.

I love you.

[Chuckling]

and besides,
i'll probably be so busy
with my studies

that i won't have time
for anything else.

Really?
Wh-what are you studying?

French, economics,

and nude male
figure drawing.

Well,
that ought to keep you
real busy.

Yo, peterson.
I need a ride.

What, you going home
already?

No, down to the corner
so i can buy a pack of gum.

Gum?

Norm.
(Norm)
what?

This is your duty.
Now finish your shirley temple
and drive him.

All right, all right.
I'll drive you
to get some gum.

Hey, i know,
after we get the gum,

why don't i take you
on a tour
of the freedom trail?

Can we pick up
my kid?

I was joking.

He'll be heartbroken.

Well, woody,

i kind of wish i didn't
have to go all the way
to europe right now,

what with us getting
so close and everything.

Mmm.

Daddy really
wants me to go, and,

well, you know how he is.

Do i ever.

What's that
supposed to mean?

Nothing. I--i just know
how he is.

What do you mean
by "is"?

Well, he can be
sort of...

you know.

What do you mean
by "you know"?

Same thing as "is."

Hey.

Are you putting down daddy?

I'm not putting down
daddy.

Don't call him "daddy."

He's not your daddy,
he's my daddy.

Well, it's a good thing,

because my daddy
doesn't treat me
like a baby.

[Exclaiming]

woody boyd,
what an awful thing to say.

I'm sorry, kelly.
I take it back.

Well, you can
take this back, too.

I can't take this back.

I don't even
have a receipt.

Well, then, i guess
you'll just have to find
the person who has it

and give it back to them,

so they can return it
and get credit.

What's that
supposed to mean?

You know what it means.

No, really.
What does it mean?

Stop it, woody.
You can't make up now.

No, really. Can anybody
tell me what it means?

Evening, everybody.

(All)
norm!

What are you knowin' there,
norm?

How to sit, how to drink.

Wanna quiz me?

Here you go,
big fella.

Sorry.

No suds tonight, norm.

You are still
our designated driver,
remember?

I know that.
You know that.

Did you have to call
every bar in town
and tell them?

Hey, norm,
can i get a lift home?

All right.

Hey, woody, you gonna
have to get your mind off
your problems with kelly.

Is it that obvious, sam?

Well, you're peeling
your thumb.

Thank god you told me
before i put it
in someone's drink.

I just can't
think straight, sam.

I've really blown it
with kelly.

Now she's gonna go off

and marry one of those
worldly european guys
for sure.

Woody, nothing like that's
gonna happen.

Really, miss howe?

No, woody.

Those wealthy
european royals
are not good enough

for princess button-nose
and her daddy.

So, becks,
what's this thing you have
against rich people?

I mean, you're dating
a rich guy, and you want
to be rich yourself, right?

Yes.

And when i am rich,
i will stop hating
rich people,

and start hating
poor people.

It's the american way.

I can't believe it's over.

I can't believe
she's leavin' me.

Oh, come on.
What are you
talking like that for?

You gonna give up
after one little spat?

What else can i do?

Well, you--you can
run to her,
hold her in your arms,

and tell her
that you love her.

Come on, man.

That's a great idea.
Yeah.

Yeah, that's exactly
what i'm gonna do.

(Woody)
see you guys later.
Where are you going, wood?

Sam wants me to elope.

No!

Woody, woody,
i didn't say anything
about eloping.

I didn't mean that.
I just meant you should
go over to her place

and maybe make out
a little bit.

Well, yeah.
And to do that,
we gotta get married, right?

Kids today.

Woody--
excuse me.
I'll handle this.

Woody, listen to me.

I once was deeply in love
with a boy that my parents
did not approve of,

and i thought
about eloping.

But fortunately,
i came to my senses.

I mean, can you imagine
what would have
happened to me

if i had married him?

Yeah, maybe
you'd be happy now,

instead of whining
and being dumped on
your whole life.

Go get her, woody.

No, no, no, no, no!

Woody, woody, come on.
Stop, here, kid.

Think a little bit.

No, sam.
That's all i've done
my whole life,

is think, think, think.

There comes a time
when you gotta
stop thinking.

You taught me that, sam.

Well, i--i just want you
to be sure, man.
That's all.

Sam, i am sure.
I love kelly.

I'm willing
to risk everything

to make her
mrs. Woodrow tiberius boyd.

Tiberius?

You never told us
that was your middle name.

Yeah, right.
I never told kelly, either.

Maybe i'd better
just forget
this whole thing.

(Sam)
hey.

Hey, bro, come on.
No, no, no,
wait a minute.

Now, i-i-i've accepted
the fact

that her middle name
is susan.

I'm gonna go for it.

Oh, hey, sam,
would you come with me?

I mean, you're kind of
like a big brother to me,

and i don't think
i could take a big step
like this

without you there
to support me.

Ah. Well, thanks, woody.
I'm--i'm very touched.

Yeah.

I need someone strong
to hold the ladder.

Thanks, woody.
I'm very touched.

[Speaking quietly]
that's not her room,
either.

Well, what took you
so long up there?

Ghostbusters
was on t.V.

I love that movie.
Oh, yeah.

It's criminal
the way it got snubbed
by the oscars that year.

Yeah, it still
ticks me off.

Let's try
over here.

Evening, everybody.

Norm!

Guess i drove
everyone else home, huh?

That's right.

You know, norm,
i'm proud of you.

I rode you pretty hard
for cheating,

but you really came through.

[Sighing]
well, thank you.

Now can i have a beer?

Nope, we're closed.

All right.
I guess i deserved that,
cheatin' the way i did.

Tonight actually turned out
to be a pretty
rewarding experience.

What are you
telling me,

you liked cartin' those guys
all over town?

No, i didn't cart 'em
all over town.

I just dropped them all off
at your place.

Great.

I finally get my kids
to stop rolling drunks,

and now you have to go
and put temptation
in their path.

I am telling you,

it is impossible
to raise a family
in the '90s.

Ok.

Something cold and german,
perhaps?

[Whispering]
good news, woody.

[Whispering]
all right. You finally
found kelly's bedroom?

No, i just met
the cutest little
chambermaid.

She was makin' popcorn.
You want some?

Sam, how can you think
of popcorn

when my life and happiness
are at stake?

It's cheddar.

Ooh, gimme.

Thank you.

(Sam)
ouch!
Oh, sorry, sam.

Yeah. This is
kelly's room,
all right, sam.

[Gargling]
how can you tell?

That's her gargle.

Woody, sam,
what are you doing here?

Kelly, i wanna
marry you.

I wanna elope with you
right now.

You mean everything
in the world to me,

and nothin' is
gonna stop me--

hey, you do have
over 1,000 barbie dolls.

I thought you were
just braggin'.

Woody, i just can't
run off and marry you
at the drop of a hat.

Boy, this is
a great little comb.

Teeth aren't too wide,
nice flexibility,
good heft.

I've been looking
for one of these
for my eyebrows.

That one's for blondes.

For--

[chuckling]
jeez, you are rich.

You know,
it--it's not right
for you to be here.

You shouldn't even be
seeing me like this.

I'm not decent.

Well, it's all right, kelly.
I didn't look.

Yeah, i did, sam.

Kelly, i wanna
say somethin'.

I'm not just gonna
stand still

while you run off
to europe.

I love you, kelly,

and i wanna make you
mrs. Woodrow tiberius boyd.

Tiberius?

Susan!

Hey, hey, hey, whoa.
Kids, kids, calm down!

Why is everybody
making such a big fuss
about their middle name?

What's yours, sam?
Hey, shut up.

The point--
sit down here.

The point is
that you should be sharing
with each other how you feel.

Names don't matter.

I'm not saying that
you should get married, but--

no, no. Let's get married.
Oh, that'll be a blast.

Well, whether
you get married or not,

what's important is
to share how you feel.

How you feel about him,
how he feels about you.

Woody, i know
he's your friend and all--

beat it, sam.

Boy, g.I. Joe should
come here on leave someday.

Kelly, you mean everything
in the world to me.

And i want you to know
that someday
i'm gonna give you back

everything you've given up
by marrying me.

Oh, woody,
i don't need
all those things.

I'd live in a cold-water flat
in the seediest part of town
to be with you.

Then have i got
a surprise honeymoon suite
for you.

Well, let's go.

Look, i'm all packed
for europe,

so all i have to do
is take out my passport
and voltage changer,

and we're all set.

(Mr. Gaines)
kelly. Kelly, dear.

Oh, no.

Woody, quick.
In the closet.

(Woody)
wow.

What are all these
barbie legs doing here?

Sometimes i get mad.

[Knocking on door]

come in, daddy.

Ah, honey.

So, my little kelly-belle
is leaving me.

[Chuckling]
leaving you?

Why do you say that, daddy?

I'm not going away.

Well, you're going off
to europe.

Oh, there.

Yeah, well,
i don't think of that
as away.

Look at you now.

All grown-up
and beautiful.

I can't help but think
of a little,
towheaded butterball

taking her first steps.

Now i'm sending you off
to see the world.

And if,
when you come back,

you still want to be
with woody,

well, that'll be fine
with me,

'cause i'll know
you're making
a grown-up decision.

But no matter how
grown-up you get,

you'll always
be my only kelly,

and i'll always be
your only daddy

till the day i die.

Oh.
[Chuckling]

sweet dreams,
sweetheart.

[Door closing]

ok, woody! Let's go!

Woody?

[Crying]
i can't do it!

God,
he's your only daddy!

I'm just some guy
with a ladder!

But, woody,
what about us?

I can't take away
his little butter-headed
towball.

I think you should go
to europe.

Are you sure, woody?

As sure as corn chiggers
in august.

Well, if--if that's
what you want, woody,

then i'll--i'll go
to europe.

But how will i know
you'll still be here for me
when i get back?

Well, how 'bout this?

We could get
secretly engaged.

Oh, yes, woody.
That's a wonderful idea.

I-it'll be our special secret.

I'll be in europe,
and you'll be here,

and we'll have
an unspoken bond
across the ocean.

Oh, that sounds swell.

So you won't date
any other guys

while you're
in europe?

Well, woody,
if i don't date
any other guys,

then people might suspect
that i'm secretly engaged.

Yeah, that's right, yeah.

So i'll have to do
the same thing
back here in the states.

Except, of course,
i'll date women.

Right, woody.

Yeah.

Now wait a minute. You're--

you're not already
secretly engaged
to someone else, are you?

No,

but even if i were,

i couldn't tell you
because it'd be a secret.

Boy, i can trust you.

And i know that you're gonna
come back to me,

and then we're gonna spend
the rest of our lives
together.

So i just wanna
hold this moment
in my mind.

I just wanna look at you
one last time,

then i'm gonna go.

[Thudding]

(woody)
sam? Where's the ladder?

Sam.

Sam?

¶[Theme from ghostbusters
playing]

(man on t.V.)
¶ Who you gonna call?

(Both)
¶ ghostbusters!