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1
00:00:01,648 --> 00:00:04,416
(Woody)
cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,484 --> 00:00:06,902
Sam, uh, more change,
please.
3
00:00:06,970 --> 00:00:10,239
Boy, lilith's really
burnin' up the phone there.
What's the matter?
4
00:00:10,306 --> 00:00:13,525
Oh, you don't want to hear
about our troubles.
5
00:00:13,593 --> 00:00:17,596
Well, then again,
since i've suffered
through so many of yours...
6
00:00:17,663 --> 00:00:21,316
we're having a devil of a time
finding a babysitter
for little frederick.
7
00:00:21,383 --> 00:00:23,451
Jeez,
what we wouldn't give
to get away together.
8
00:00:23,519 --> 00:00:25,921
Oh, me, too.
I live for that.
9
00:00:25,989 --> 00:00:27,739
Really? Y-y-you could
use a vacation?
10
00:00:27,806 --> 00:00:29,891
No. I want you guys
to go away.
11
00:00:31,878 --> 00:00:35,096
So, you don't have
any relatives or friends
you can ask to watch the baby?
12
00:00:35,164 --> 00:00:37,365
Oh, well, i-i'd gladly
ask my parents.
13
00:00:37,433 --> 00:00:38,917
Of course, they're dead.
14
00:00:39,669 --> 00:00:42,037
Well, as for friends, i...
15
00:00:42,054 --> 00:00:43,621
sorry. Stupid question.
16
00:00:45,041 --> 00:00:46,325
Frasier, good news.
17
00:00:46,392 --> 00:00:49,227
I finally found a woman
with whom we can leave
our baby for one night.
18
00:00:49,295 --> 00:00:50,729
Oh, great.
Tell me about her.
19
00:00:50,797 --> 00:00:53,164
Well, she's 79 years old,
20
00:00:53,232 --> 00:00:55,801
she can't see her hands
without her glasses,
21
00:00:55,869 --> 00:00:59,104
but she assures me
she can smell smoke.
22
00:00:59,171 --> 00:01:02,007
Lilith, this is wonderful.
At last we'll have a night
alone together.
23
00:01:02,074 --> 00:01:03,825
Yes, it's just
what we need.
24
00:01:03,893 --> 00:01:05,127
Our relationship
is at a point
25
00:01:05,194 --> 00:01:06,528
where the rekindling
of romance
26
00:01:06,596 --> 00:01:08,130
is both appropriate
and welcome,
27
00:01:08,197 --> 00:01:10,132
to say nothing of timely.
28
00:01:10,199 --> 00:01:12,434
Well, stop, lilith.
You're getting me hot.
29
00:01:21,294 --> 00:01:23,578
¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶
30
00:01:23,646 --> 00:01:26,698
¶ takes everything
you've got ¶
31
00:01:26,766 --> 00:01:29,467
¶ taking a break
from all your worries ¶
32
00:01:29,535 --> 00:01:31,503
¶ sure would help a lot
33
00:01:32,939 --> 00:01:35,840
¶ wouldn't you like
to get away ¶
34
00:01:38,711 --> 00:01:40,762
¶ sometimes you want to go
35
00:01:40,797 --> 00:01:44,365
¶ where everybody
knows your name ¶
36
00:01:46,235 --> 00:01:49,171
¶ and they're always
glad you came ¶
37
00:01:50,673 --> 00:01:53,074
¶ you wanna be
where you can see ¶
38
00:01:53,142 --> 00:01:55,944
¶ our troubles
are all the same ¶
39
00:01:56,012 --> 00:01:59,580
¶ you wanna be
where everybody
knows your name ¶
40
00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:03,602
¶ you wanna go
where people know ¶
41
00:02:03,669 --> 00:02:06,154
¶ people are all the same
42
00:02:06,222 --> 00:02:10,491
¶ you wanna go
where everybody
knows your name ¶
43
00:02:29,662 --> 00:02:32,898
hey, cliffie, your beer
tastes a little flat today?
44
00:02:33,933 --> 00:02:35,951
No.
45
00:02:36,018 --> 00:02:38,987
I don't know.
Seems like it's off
by maybe a hop or two.
46
00:02:42,525 --> 00:02:44,042
Well, it probably
has something to do
47
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:45,994
with that new, uh,
pasteurization process.
48
00:02:46,061 --> 00:02:50,232
You know, they put it in
big, uh, sterilized vats...
49
00:02:50,299 --> 00:02:52,334
ahem, yeah,
who gives a hoot?
50
00:02:54,820 --> 00:02:57,388
What? No long-winded
explanation?
51
00:02:57,456 --> 00:02:58,606
Hmm.
52
00:02:58,674 --> 00:03:00,559
Cliff just isn't
himself today, is he?
53
00:03:00,876 --> 00:03:02,126
Well,
it's not just mr. Clavin.
54
00:03:02,194 --> 00:03:04,663
I'm feelin'
a little strange, too.
55
00:03:04,730 --> 00:03:06,865
In fact, this whole place
feels weird.
56
00:03:06,933 --> 00:03:08,800
Well, you know, woody,
57
00:03:08,868 --> 00:03:12,503
the japanese believe
that every house
has its own energy,
58
00:03:12,572 --> 00:03:14,639
what they call
its wa.
59
00:03:14,707 --> 00:03:16,808
Now, eastern culture
submits
60
00:03:16,876 --> 00:03:19,177
that if this wa
is somehow in disorder,
61
00:03:19,244 --> 00:03:22,697
everyone that enters
therein will feel
a sense of disconnection.
62
00:03:22,765 --> 00:03:24,483
Mr. Clavin, i know
why you're not yourself.
63
00:03:24,550 --> 00:03:26,418
Dr. Crane is yourself.
64
00:03:30,055 --> 00:03:31,757
Damn it.
65
00:03:31,824 --> 00:03:34,293
These decorations
are all wrong.
66
00:03:35,561 --> 00:03:36,795
This is st. Patrick's day,
67
00:03:36,862 --> 00:03:38,529
the busiest night
of the year,
68
00:03:38,597 --> 00:03:41,766
and our name is misspelled
on every single item.
69
00:03:41,834 --> 00:03:44,937
"Faith & begorrah,
from your friends at chees."
70
00:03:50,275 --> 00:03:54,178
Rebecca, the decorations
are the least
of our problems.
71
00:03:54,246 --> 00:03:55,563
I agree.
72
00:03:55,631 --> 00:03:57,649
You're right, norm.
I think unpaid bar tabs
73
00:03:57,716 --> 00:04:00,451
come a lot higher
on our priority list.
74
00:04:03,422 --> 00:04:06,707
Damn it, would you
look at how
they misspelled "cheers"?
75
00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:16,168
Uh, what i'm talkin'
about is
76
00:04:16,235 --> 00:04:18,620
if you guys want to worry
about somethin',
77
00:04:18,687 --> 00:04:21,723
why don't you worry
about what evil,
rotten practical joke
78
00:04:21,791 --> 00:04:24,659
gary's old town tavern
is gonna play on us this year.
79
00:04:24,727 --> 00:04:28,746
No, no, no, no, no.
We're not gonna continue
this feud with gary, ok?
80
00:04:28,814 --> 00:04:29,780
What are you talkin' about?
81
00:04:29,848 --> 00:04:31,483
This st. Paddy's day.
82
00:04:31,550 --> 00:04:33,518
It's one of the busiest nights
of the year.
83
00:04:33,585 --> 00:04:35,520
It's when gary
wheels out the big guns.
84
00:04:35,587 --> 00:04:38,473
He can't do anything worse
to us than he did last year,
remember that?
85
00:04:38,541 --> 00:04:39,841
The place was packed
86
00:04:39,859 --> 00:04:43,712
and gary and his goons
filled our stairwell
with potatoes.
87
00:04:43,779 --> 00:04:46,081
Yeah, just my luck,
i was sittin'
on the bottom step
88
00:04:46,148 --> 00:04:48,933
tying my shoe
at the time.
89
00:04:49,001 --> 00:04:52,236
Lucky for me you guys
were able to dig me out.
90
00:04:52,304 --> 00:04:56,207
I'd hate to be
the 2nd member of my family
buried alive by potatoes.
91
00:05:01,814 --> 00:05:04,148
Well, this year things
are gonna be different.
92
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:05,450
Now, after that
potato incident,
93
00:05:05,518 --> 00:05:07,635
i went over there
and i had a little chat
with gary.
94
00:05:07,703 --> 00:05:10,338
I said we gotta cool it
because this stuff
is ruining our business,
95
00:05:10,406 --> 00:05:11,890
and he agreed.
96
00:05:11,957 --> 00:05:15,527
So we drew up this little
document to that effect.
97
00:05:15,529 --> 00:05:18,613
"We, the managers
of cheers and gary's
old town tavern,
98
00:05:18,681 --> 00:05:21,015
do solemnly swear
to cut it out."
99
00:05:22,067 --> 00:05:24,102
That ought to
hold up in court.
100
00:05:25,905 --> 00:05:28,106
I'll have to do something
about these decorations.
101
00:05:28,174 --> 00:05:29,408
What are you going to do,
replace 'em?
102
00:05:29,475 --> 00:05:31,243
(Rebecca)
no, there's no time
for that.
103
00:05:31,310 --> 00:05:34,296
I have to go to the deli
and buy some cheese.
104
00:05:34,363 --> 00:05:36,197
People will be expecting it.
105
00:05:39,952 --> 00:05:42,137
Can i fill up your beer
there for you, norm?
106
00:05:42,204 --> 00:05:45,173
Uh, no, thanks.
I'm not quite finished
with this one.
107
00:05:50,429 --> 00:05:52,697
I'm sorry, i'm sorry.
I'm full.
108
00:05:53,933 --> 00:05:55,517
Aw, man, that-that's it.
109
00:05:55,584 --> 00:05:57,769
You know,
what--what's going on
around here today?
110
00:05:57,836 --> 00:05:59,354
Everybody's actin' weird.
111
00:05:59,421 --> 00:06:01,807
It's time to give
old tecumseh a belly rub.
There you go.
112
00:06:01,908 --> 00:06:03,241
Who's tecumseh?
113
00:06:03,308 --> 00:06:05,377
You know,
the old wooden indian
by the door.
114
00:06:05,445 --> 00:06:06,912
Isn't that phil?
115
00:06:11,734 --> 00:06:14,685
Where--where is he?
Did--did you guys move him?
116
00:06:16,155 --> 00:06:17,839
Well, spread out.
117
00:06:17,907 --> 00:06:21,025
We got to find him here, guys.
This is very weird.
118
00:06:21,093 --> 00:06:22,910
I could swear
i saw him here yesterday,
119
00:06:22,978 --> 00:06:25,563
and the day before
and the day before that.
120
00:06:25,631 --> 00:06:27,582
No, no, no. That was me.
121
00:06:29,702 --> 00:06:32,404
Sammy, he's not here.
122
00:06:32,472 --> 00:06:37,025
Who in his right mind
would want to walk off
with tecumseh?
123
00:06:37,093 --> 00:06:38,126
(All)
gary.
124
00:06:38,194 --> 00:06:39,894
Oh, man.
125
00:06:39,962 --> 00:06:41,379
Boy, you know, fun is fun,
126
00:06:41,447 --> 00:06:44,816
and i like being
humiliated as much
as the next guy, but...
127
00:06:44,883 --> 00:06:47,586
yeah, but this,
taking tecumseh, that--
128
00:06:47,653 --> 00:06:50,489
that crosses the line!
Sammy's right.
129
00:06:50,523 --> 00:06:53,040
I'll tell you what,
he can take cliffie,
he can strip him naked,
130
00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:55,160
he can paint him green,
tie him up like a shamrock,
131
00:06:55,227 --> 00:06:56,928
drag him
through the streets
of boston,
132
00:06:56,996 --> 00:06:59,631
but this is going
too far.
133
00:06:59,698 --> 00:07:01,816
This time, it's personal.
134
00:07:02,718 --> 00:07:03,919
Hey.
135
00:07:03,986 --> 00:07:06,538
(All)
get gary! Get gary!
Get gary!
136
00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:14,014
[People chattering]
137
00:07:18,085 --> 00:07:20,670
ah, st. Paddy's day,
138
00:07:20,738 --> 00:07:24,625
the day st. Patrick
drove all the snakes
out of ireland.
139
00:07:24,692 --> 00:07:28,295
Boy, if that isn't
the biggest freudian dream
of all time.
140
00:07:30,581 --> 00:07:32,666
Oh, 5 more irish coffees,
woody.
141
00:07:32,734 --> 00:07:35,569
Oh, gosh, i wish sam would
hurry back from gary's.
142
00:07:35,637 --> 00:07:37,070
I'm at my wit's end here.
143
00:07:37,138 --> 00:07:38,505
How can you tell?
144
00:07:41,926 --> 00:07:43,293
Hello, duckling.
145
00:07:43,361 --> 00:07:44,928
Sugarpants.
146
00:07:47,598 --> 00:07:51,217
I've been anxiously awaiting
our appointed rendezvous.
147
00:07:51,285 --> 00:07:54,020
Hey, dr. Crane,
mrs. Dr. Crane.
148
00:07:54,088 --> 00:07:56,456
So you guys are here
on your night off, huh?
149
00:07:56,524 --> 00:07:59,159
You have a marvelous
grasp of the obvious.
150
00:08:01,195 --> 00:08:04,714
Well, that's what comes
from working with your hands.
151
00:08:07,484 --> 00:08:09,253
So what are you guys
gonna do?
152
00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:12,873
Well, we plan to
recreate our very first
romantic liaison.
153
00:08:12,940 --> 00:08:15,241
If memory serves,
we began with a lovely meal
at melville's,
154
00:08:15,309 --> 00:08:16,977
and then an after-dinner
drink here,
155
00:08:17,045 --> 00:08:18,178
and then we adjourned
156
00:08:18,245 --> 00:08:20,580
to lilith's tastefully
decorated condominium
157
00:08:20,648 --> 00:08:22,649
where we engaged
in an evening of lovemaking,
158
00:08:22,717 --> 00:08:25,385
which i might say,
was rather, um, meaningful.
159
00:08:25,452 --> 00:08:28,121
Not to mention
sweet and sweaty.
160
00:08:31,526 --> 00:08:35,195
Well, i'm not hungry,
you've had your drink.
161
00:08:35,263 --> 00:08:38,632
I say we jump
right to the final stop
on our itinerary.
162
00:08:38,699 --> 00:08:39,999
Do you think the people
163
00:08:40,067 --> 00:08:42,402
that live in that condominium
now would mind?
164
00:08:44,038 --> 00:08:46,790
I don't see why.
We're an attractive couple.
165
00:08:51,229 --> 00:08:53,480
Carla, how come
we can't tell miss howe
166
00:08:53,548 --> 00:08:55,165
what sam's doin' to gary?
167
00:08:55,233 --> 00:08:58,302
You know her.
She thinks that anything
that d-destroys property,
168
00:08:58,369 --> 00:09:01,771
costs money,
or wastes time is stupid.
169
00:09:01,839 --> 00:09:04,758
I don't know, she's got
an attitude problem.
170
00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:07,878
Yeah, what is with her?
171
00:09:07,945 --> 00:09:09,363
¶[Men singing]
172
00:09:10,565 --> 00:09:12,165
ho! Ho! Ho!
173
00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:13,533
Hoo, pow!
Hoo, pow!
174
00:09:13,601 --> 00:09:15,168
Pow, hoo!
Hoo, pow!
175
00:09:16,837 --> 00:09:18,839
Yo-ho, caballeros.
176
00:09:18,907 --> 00:09:20,641
Did you head them off
at the pass?
177
00:09:20,708 --> 00:09:23,209
Oh, yeah. Yeah,
we just shut down
gary's old town tavern
178
00:09:23,277 --> 00:09:25,445
on one of the busiest
bar nights of the year.
179
00:09:25,512 --> 00:09:26,913
[All cheering]
180
00:09:28,966 --> 00:09:30,717
yep.
181
00:09:30,785 --> 00:09:32,853
Yeah, we got padlocks
on all the doors,
front and back.
182
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,688
We got toxic
spill warning signs,
183
00:09:34,756 --> 00:09:37,090
we have police tapes
blocking off
all the entrances.
184
00:09:37,157 --> 00:09:40,227
I mean, people are
gonna be afraid
to drive down the streets.
185
00:09:40,229 --> 00:09:41,595
[All cheering]
186
00:09:41,662 --> 00:09:43,964
oh, and, uh,
to top it all off,
187
00:09:44,032 --> 00:09:47,668
my friend normie here
sent 38 pizzas
over to gary's house.
188
00:09:47,735 --> 00:09:49,502
Actually, i've sent 'em
over to my house.
189
00:09:49,571 --> 00:09:51,004
So if anyone
wants to come over,
190
00:09:51,072 --> 00:09:52,906
remember, we got to
get to 'em before vera.
191
00:09:52,974 --> 00:09:54,942
Otherwise we got nothing left
but the crust.
192
00:09:55,009 --> 00:09:56,543
[All chattering]
193
00:10:02,349 --> 00:10:03,416
morning, everyone.
194
00:10:03,484 --> 00:10:04,484
(Sam)
hey, hey.
195
00:10:04,551 --> 00:10:05,668
(All)
norm!
196
00:10:05,736 --> 00:10:07,437
What are you
up to, norm?
197
00:10:07,505 --> 00:10:10,123
My ideal weight,
if i were 11 feet tall.
198
00:10:16,764 --> 00:10:20,283
So, we have any retaliation
from the old garmeister?
199
00:10:20,351 --> 00:10:21,584
No, no, no, no.
200
00:10:21,652 --> 00:10:23,753
But that's because
we outsmarted him
once again.
201
00:10:23,821 --> 00:10:26,957
We had a man inside
the whole time.
202
00:10:27,024 --> 00:10:28,524
(Norm)
all right.
203
00:10:28,592 --> 00:10:32,095
Yep. I stood exactly
where tecumseh stands
all night long.
204
00:10:32,163 --> 00:10:34,597
It's given me
a new appreciation
for tecumseh
205
00:10:34,665 --> 00:10:36,466
and everything he does for us.
206
00:10:36,534 --> 00:10:38,618
You stood there
all night long?
207
00:10:38,686 --> 00:10:40,787
What a stupid thing to do.
208
00:10:41,472 --> 00:10:42,772
Oh, yeah?
209
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,491
I stand there
for one night
210
00:10:44,558 --> 00:10:46,126
and you think
that's stupid?
211
00:10:46,193 --> 00:10:48,895
He stands there for years,
and you rub him for luck.
212
00:10:48,963 --> 00:10:51,164
Who's the stupid one, carla?
213
00:10:57,888 --> 00:11:00,007
Hey, i hear you guys
shut down gary's last night.
214
00:11:00,074 --> 00:11:02,291
Oh, now, he started it
when he stole tecumseh.
215
00:11:02,359 --> 00:11:03,526
When you draw first blood
like that,
216
00:11:03,594 --> 00:11:04,761
you got to expect
anything to happen.
217
00:11:04,829 --> 00:11:05,862
(Norm)
right.
218
00:11:05,930 --> 00:11:07,014
[Chuckles]
219
00:11:07,081 --> 00:11:08,715
hey, hey, hey, hey.
What?
220
00:11:08,782 --> 00:11:10,517
(Cliff)
they're bringing
tecumseh back.
221
00:11:10,585 --> 00:11:12,368
Oh, yeah!
222
00:11:12,436 --> 00:11:13,953
We brought gary
to his knees
223
00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:17,089
and now he's returning
our statue
as a token of surrender!
224
00:11:17,157 --> 00:11:18,441
[All whooping]
225
00:11:18,509 --> 00:11:19,793
[all cheering]
226
00:11:20,995 --> 00:11:23,496
oh, good.
Tecumseh's back.
227
00:11:23,564 --> 00:11:25,031
Yep. Gary sent him.
228
00:11:25,099 --> 00:11:26,867
Gary? No,
i had him revarnished.
229
00:11:26,934 --> 00:11:29,635
Doesn't he look shiny
and new?
230
00:11:29,703 --> 00:11:30,770
You wanna sign
for this, lady?
231
00:11:30,838 --> 00:11:32,205
Sure.
232
00:11:34,825 --> 00:11:37,844
Uh, say, rebecca,
233
00:11:39,096 --> 00:11:42,031
so you mean that--that--that
gary had nothing to do
234
00:11:42,099 --> 00:11:43,817
with tecumseh
being missing?
235
00:11:43,884 --> 00:11:45,218
Absolutely not.
236
00:11:46,086 --> 00:11:47,086
Uh-oh.
237
00:11:49,373 --> 00:11:51,858
What's wrong?
238
00:11:51,926 --> 00:11:56,546
We shut down gary's bar
on one of the busiest nights
of the year.
239
00:11:56,614 --> 00:11:59,132
We did that
for no good reason at all.
240
00:12:01,752 --> 00:12:04,304
What?
What are you talk--
what did you do?
241
00:12:04,371 --> 00:12:07,373
Well, uh, sweetheart,
242
00:12:07,441 --> 00:12:11,144
you remember this, uh,
treaty you and gary signed?
243
00:12:11,212 --> 00:12:12,212
Yes.
244
00:12:13,047 --> 00:12:16,399
Gentlemen, we're at war.
245
00:12:28,473 --> 00:12:31,158
I don't understand
why you guys think
it is so cool
246
00:12:31,225 --> 00:12:33,460
to play these stupid
practical jokes.
247
00:12:33,528 --> 00:12:36,329
Honey, it's what keeps
the child in us alive.
248
00:12:38,249 --> 00:12:42,252
Otherwise, we'd be
just mature adults.
249
00:12:42,319 --> 00:12:45,038
Yeah. I'd lie awake at night
worrying about that one.
250
00:12:46,457 --> 00:12:47,757
Listen to me,
all of you,
251
00:12:47,825 --> 00:12:50,827
i want you to call gary
right now and apologize
252
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:53,029
before he gets the idea
of getting even
253
00:12:53,097 --> 00:12:54,197
and blows us to bits
254
00:12:54,265 --> 00:12:56,934
with an all-in-good-fun
toilet explosion.
255
00:12:58,385 --> 00:13:00,353
You're right.
There's that attitude.
256
00:13:02,957 --> 00:13:04,624
Apologize.
Yeah, right.
257
00:13:04,725 --> 00:13:06,126
A lot of good
that would do.
258
00:13:06,193 --> 00:13:09,313
Gary just gets meaner
when he smells weakness.
259
00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:11,098
I got to
respect the guy.
260
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:14,067
Well, one thing is clear,
he's gonna retaliate, ok.
261
00:13:14,135 --> 00:13:17,104
In fact, he may have
already put some
deadly plan in action.
262
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:20,740
This beer
you just poured me, sam,
could be filled with toxins.
263
00:13:20,742 --> 00:13:21,742
So what do we do?
264
00:13:21,809 --> 00:13:23,660
We take our chances.
265
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,481
Hey, woody,
266
00:13:27,483 --> 00:13:29,216
open that door there and
see if gary's done anything
267
00:13:29,283 --> 00:13:31,568
to the outside of the bar,
will you?
268
00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:37,291
Snow.
269
00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:43,864
Gary made it snow.
270
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:49,219
Gary can't make it snow,
grain brain.
271
00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:50,537
Oh, it's a good thing,
272
00:13:50,605 --> 00:13:53,139
'cause we'd never
be able to top that.
273
00:13:54,576 --> 00:13:56,994
Hold it. Hold it.
Hold it. Hold it.
274
00:13:57,061 --> 00:13:59,496
He may have planted
somebody in the bar.
275
00:13:59,564 --> 00:14:00,864
Now, you see
any strange faces?
276
00:14:00,932 --> 00:14:03,183
Just, uh, glance around
nonchalantly.
277
00:14:03,251 --> 00:14:05,502
Come on,
gary's smarter than that.
278
00:14:05,569 --> 00:14:07,520
He knows we'd be
on the lookout for a stranger.
279
00:14:07,588 --> 00:14:09,256
So he'd plant
somebody we do know.
280
00:14:09,323 --> 00:14:13,860
Yeah, probably try to
turn one of our own
against us.
281
00:14:13,928 --> 00:14:17,347
So the idea is,
who do we suspect
the least?
282
00:14:19,050 --> 00:14:20,650
I think it's me.
283
00:14:23,037 --> 00:14:27,307
Oh. Come on, woody.
284
00:14:27,374 --> 00:14:30,143
How could gary
turn you against us?
285
00:14:30,211 --> 00:14:32,312
I don't know.
But if he can
make it snow--
286
00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:34,565
he didn't make it snow!
He didn't make it snow,
you idiot!
287
00:14:34,632 --> 00:14:37,201
All right, just calm down.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Calm down.
288
00:14:37,268 --> 00:14:38,735
Look, i just
can't help it, sam.
289
00:14:38,803 --> 00:14:41,622
It's this waiting.
It's making me crazy.
290
00:14:41,689 --> 00:14:44,941
I mean, you know gary.
He always retaliates.
I know, i know.
291
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,993
And with great cruelty
and force
292
00:14:47,061 --> 00:14:49,462
and always
within 24 hours.
293
00:14:49,530 --> 00:14:52,182
Boy, i really do
respect that guy.
294
00:14:52,249 --> 00:14:53,750
(Norm)
carla's absolutely right.
295
00:14:53,818 --> 00:14:55,218
Every time
that damn door opens,
296
00:14:55,286 --> 00:14:57,604
i keep thinking to myself,
this could be the big one.
297
00:14:57,672 --> 00:14:59,323
Excuse me.
298
00:15:00,324 --> 00:15:01,859
Is the manager here?
299
00:15:02,576 --> 00:15:04,745
Why? Who wants to know?
300
00:15:04,812 --> 00:15:06,463
I'm the fire marshal.
301
00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:08,865
You're due for your routine
6-month inspection
302
00:15:08,933 --> 00:15:11,735
for safety code violations.
303
00:15:11,802 --> 00:15:12,586
Oh.
304
00:15:12,653 --> 00:15:13,920
[Laughing]
305
00:15:15,223 --> 00:15:19,292
ahem, well, we're really glad
you're here.
306
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,561
Why don't you
have a seat?
307
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,129
Can i take your hat?
Thanks.
308
00:15:23,197 --> 00:15:24,380
Sure.
309
00:15:24,448 --> 00:15:26,583
Yeah, you probably
want to be checking
310
00:15:26,651 --> 00:15:30,186
if this fire extinguisher
is fully operational.
311
00:15:30,254 --> 00:15:31,704
Of course.
Ok.
312
00:15:39,713 --> 00:15:41,581
What are you doing?
313
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,950
Well, this hat
is now up to code.
314
00:15:47,588 --> 00:15:49,022
What are you doing?
315
00:15:50,591 --> 00:15:52,759
Well, we're just--
we're just, uh,
316
00:15:52,761 --> 00:15:54,894
demonstrating
our fire preparedness.
317
00:15:54,962 --> 00:15:56,730
Gentlemen, uh,
seltzer drill.
318
00:15:56,798 --> 00:15:58,781
(All)
seltzer drill!
319
00:15:58,849 --> 00:16:00,517
Hup! Seltzer drill.
320
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:03,587
Yo! Yo! Whoa.
321
00:16:07,024 --> 00:16:08,525
[Laughing]
322
00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:10,327
what are you doing?
323
00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,699
Oh.
324
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:18,201
These--these pants
were a tinderbox.
325
00:16:19,403 --> 00:16:20,520
You guys are crazy.
326
00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:22,272
Yeah. Whoo!
327
00:16:22,340 --> 00:16:24,140
¶[All singing]
328
00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:26,910
whoo!
329
00:16:28,629 --> 00:16:30,463
(Rebecca)
sam, excuse me.
330
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,015
Will you be sure
to let me know
331
00:16:32,083 --> 00:16:34,167
when the fire marshal
gets here?
332
00:16:37,088 --> 00:16:38,538
Fi-fire marshal?
333
00:16:38,606 --> 00:16:42,559
Yes. We're due for our
routine 6-month inspection.
334
00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:44,911
Be sure and tell me
when he gets here.
335
00:16:44,979 --> 00:16:49,132
Oh, don't worry.
I--i have a feeling
he'll be in touch.
336
00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:52,535
Guys, guys, guys, guys,
we're going nuts here.
337
00:16:52,603 --> 00:16:54,370
I tell you, man,
it's just sheer luck
338
00:16:54,672 --> 00:16:57,156
that--that no one was hurt
in this situation,
339
00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:59,543
other than rebecca.
340
00:16:59,610 --> 00:17:02,495
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
This might be part
of gary's master plan.
341
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:03,813
What? What is?
342
00:17:03,881 --> 00:17:05,716
Yeah, keep us on the edge,
put us off balance.
343
00:17:05,783 --> 00:17:08,735
Yeah, mr. Clavin's right.
You know, i think gary's
probably playing with us,
344
00:17:08,803 --> 00:17:10,503
like a rat
with a mouse.
345
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,889
That's cat and mouse,
woody.
346
00:17:12,957 --> 00:17:14,708
Cat and mouse.
347
00:17:14,776 --> 00:17:17,027
Sam, a cat and a mouse
don't play together.
348
00:17:17,094 --> 00:17:18,195
They're mortal enemies.
349
00:17:18,262 --> 00:17:20,464
They don't even
know the same games.
350
00:17:22,633 --> 00:17:24,501
Think before
you speak, sam.
351
00:17:24,618 --> 00:17:27,737
All right, all right,
all right, but what do we do
about gary, all right?
352
00:17:27,805 --> 00:17:30,107
What are we supposed to do?
Just sit here
and wait and worry?
353
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:31,908
Well, what other choice
do we have?
354
00:17:31,976 --> 00:17:33,326
Fail-safe.
What?
355
00:17:33,394 --> 00:17:35,461
Huh?
Sure, fail-safe.
356
00:17:35,529 --> 00:17:39,800
Our situation here
greatly parallels that film
of the early 1960s
357
00:17:39,867 --> 00:17:42,468
that delighted and, uh,
disturbed audiences
of that time.
358
00:17:42,536 --> 00:17:45,037
So your idea is
we-- we schneid ourselves
359
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,340
before gary
does it to us?
360
00:17:47,475 --> 00:17:49,008
Should do something
to ourselves
361
00:17:49,076 --> 00:17:50,811
to get back
for what we did to gary?
362
00:17:50,878 --> 00:17:53,196
Oh, that's crazy.
Come on.
363
00:17:53,264 --> 00:17:55,081
All right, wait--wait--
wait a minute.
364
00:17:55,149 --> 00:17:58,234
It might just convince gary
not to do anything to us.
365
00:17:58,302 --> 00:18:00,787
We'd be the master
of our own fate.
Yeah.
366
00:18:00,855 --> 00:18:02,605
And, fellows,
bottom line is,
367
00:18:02,673 --> 00:18:05,258
we'd be getting it over with.
All right.
368
00:18:05,326 --> 00:18:06,676
(Sam)
what do you think?
369
00:18:06,678 --> 00:18:08,010
I'll buy it. All right,
sammy's right.
370
00:18:08,162 --> 00:18:09,696
I say
we screw ourselves!
371
00:18:09,764 --> 00:18:11,564
(All)
screw ourselves!
Screw ourselves!
372
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,033
Screw ourselves!
373
00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:20,673
Carla, where are sam
and woody?
374
00:18:20,741 --> 00:18:22,775
Oh, you'll find out
soon enough.
375
00:18:22,843 --> 00:18:25,277
Don't worry
your flat little head
about it.
376
00:18:26,446 --> 00:18:28,280
You did not
answer my question,
377
00:18:28,348 --> 00:18:31,150
and for your information,
my head is not flat.
378
00:18:38,859 --> 00:18:41,093
All right,
but it's not little.
379
00:18:47,351 --> 00:18:51,154
Say, carla, uh,
where's the inner circle?
380
00:18:51,222 --> 00:18:54,207
Oh, uh, sammy and the guys
had to do something,
381
00:18:54,274 --> 00:18:55,992
but they'll be back soon.
382
00:18:56,059 --> 00:18:57,827
Oh, don't tell me
i missed something.
383
00:18:57,895 --> 00:18:59,562
No.
384
00:18:59,564 --> 00:19:01,247
Now, carla, i expressly
posted my beeper number.
385
00:19:01,315 --> 00:19:04,134
If anything juicy happens,
i'm to be paged.
386
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,103
Frasier, an observation.
387
00:19:07,171 --> 00:19:09,956
You are spending
way too much time here.
388
00:19:13,928 --> 00:19:15,978
So, uh, how was
your night off?
389
00:19:16,046 --> 00:19:19,215
Bet you spent
a lot of time worrying
about that kid of yours, huh?
390
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,200
No, not a bit.
We had a wonderful time.
391
00:19:21,268 --> 00:19:22,502
We knew he was
in good hands.
392
00:19:22,570 --> 00:19:24,571
So we just sat back
and relaxed.
393
00:19:24,638 --> 00:19:27,858
Well, had a much needed
and healthy
night away from him.
394
00:19:27,925 --> 00:19:29,558
Oh, that's terrific.
395
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,661
Oh, by the way,
your sitter called
396
00:19:31,728 --> 00:19:34,363
and she said that
frederick rolled over
by himself
397
00:19:34,431 --> 00:19:35,698
for the first time.
398
00:19:35,766 --> 00:19:37,250
What? And we missed it?
399
00:19:37,317 --> 00:19:39,669
We must be
the worst parents
in the world.
400
00:19:39,737 --> 00:19:44,257
Frasier, let's rush home,
fall to our knees
and beg his forgiveness.
401
00:19:44,324 --> 00:19:46,926
I'll never get over this,
not until the day i die.
402
00:19:46,994 --> 00:19:50,279
New parents,
they're always suckers
for that gag.
403
00:19:54,652 --> 00:19:56,753
Well, my friends,
we did it.
404
00:19:57,454 --> 00:19:58,939
We've saved the bar.
405
00:19:59,006 --> 00:20:00,423
[All cheering]
406
00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:03,560
(sam)
where's the photographer?
407
00:20:03,627 --> 00:20:04,711
Are you the guys?
408
00:20:04,778 --> 00:20:06,196
No, we are the men.
409
00:20:06,263 --> 00:20:09,532
Now, take a photograph
of us in all our glory here.
410
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,085
Gentlemen, step right up
in a line.
411
00:20:12,153 --> 00:20:14,137
All right. Yeah. Get right...
there we go.
412
00:20:14,205 --> 00:20:16,956
Ok, smile, men.
This is for the sunday paper.
413
00:20:17,625 --> 00:20:19,125
Fellas, count of 3.
414
00:20:19,192 --> 00:20:21,761
1, 2, 3.
415
00:20:23,797 --> 00:20:25,131
[Camera clicking]
416
00:20:31,872 --> 00:20:33,273
and here we go.
417
00:20:34,908 --> 00:20:36,542
[Camera clicking]
418
00:20:39,296 --> 00:20:42,548
ok. I got it. Thanks, guys.
Hope it grows back.
419
00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:44,834
Doesn't always, you know.
420
00:20:44,985 --> 00:20:46,819
(Carla)
man, you guys!
421
00:20:46,887 --> 00:20:48,337
You know,
when i dreamed this gag up,
422
00:20:48,405 --> 00:20:50,907
i never thought
you were gonna go through
with it.
423
00:20:50,974 --> 00:20:54,361
I just thought you'd get
some rubber skull caps
or something.
424
00:20:54,445 --> 00:20:56,529
Hey, come on,
give us a little credit here,
will you?
425
00:20:56,596 --> 00:20:59,999
When a man has a dirty job
to do, he does it.
426
00:21:00,067 --> 00:21:02,385
W-wait a minute,
what's that behind your ear?
427
00:21:02,452 --> 00:21:05,355
Nothing. No, no,
don't take it off.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
428
00:21:05,422 --> 00:21:07,556
[All exclaiming]
429
00:21:07,624 --> 00:21:08,858
what the hell?
430
00:21:08,926 --> 00:21:11,544
Guys, we're talking
about my hair.
431
00:21:13,447 --> 00:21:15,331
Oh, yeah. So?
432
00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:19,285
Without my hair,
i'd be just
just one of you guys.
433
00:21:19,352 --> 00:21:20,753
Pardon me, sammy,
434
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:24,073
if that fails
to bring a tear to my eye!
435
00:21:24,141 --> 00:21:28,444
Fellas, i tried to do it,
i swear to god,
but, man, i love my hair.
436
00:21:28,512 --> 00:21:29,562
All right, fine.
437
00:21:29,630 --> 00:21:31,397
You got a problem
with this?
Yeah!
438
00:21:31,465 --> 00:21:33,316
Let's just step outside
right now.
439
00:21:33,384 --> 00:21:34,216
[Men clamoring]
440
00:21:34,218 --> 00:21:36,602
oh, no, wait,
hang on a second, here, huh?
441
00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:39,038
What are we doin'
to ourselves?
442
00:21:39,105 --> 00:21:41,641
I mean, it's bad enough
that gary made us
look like fools,
443
00:21:41,709 --> 00:21:43,343
and now we're fightin'
amongst ourselves.
444
00:21:43,410 --> 00:21:45,244
This is not
part of the deal.
445
00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:48,347
Yeah, woody's right.
446
00:21:48,415 --> 00:21:50,183
Thank you,
mr. Peterson.
447
00:21:50,250 --> 00:21:51,384
Now, let's just relax,
448
00:21:51,451 --> 00:21:53,553
shave sam's head,
and discuss this...
449
00:21:53,620 --> 00:21:56,322
[all shouting]
450
00:21:56,390 --> 00:21:58,791
hey, hey, guys, listen up,
listen up.
I've got great news.
451
00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:00,393
Yeah, listen up.
Now, listen, there's no need
452
00:22:00,460 --> 00:22:02,645
to retaliate
against ourselves.
453
00:22:02,713 --> 00:22:03,746
What do you mean?
454
00:22:03,814 --> 00:22:06,466
Gary's has been closed
for the last month.
455
00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:09,101
He's in florida, while his
place is being remodeled.
456
00:22:09,169 --> 00:22:11,571
He wasn't even open
on st. Patrick's day.
457
00:22:11,638 --> 00:22:14,540
He doesn't even know
you guys did anything to him.
458
00:22:14,608 --> 00:22:16,375
Isn't that a howl?
459
00:22:19,330 --> 00:22:21,948
This is the worst thing
gary's ever done.
460
00:22:22,015 --> 00:22:24,784
We've got to teach
gary a lesson.
461
00:22:24,852 --> 00:22:27,887
He must never do
nothing again.
462
00:22:29,373 --> 00:22:31,357
Men, there's only one thing
left to do.
463
00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:32,592
Get gary.
464
00:22:32,660 --> 00:22:36,312
(All)
get gary! Get gary!
Get gary!
465
00:22:36,380 --> 00:22:38,047
First, we shave sammy!
466
00:22:38,115 --> 00:22:40,165
No, get gary!
Shave sammy!
Shave sammy!
467
00:22:40,233 --> 00:22:41,718
Shave sammy!
468
00:22:41,785 --> 00:22:43,185
Get gary!
469
00:22:43,253 --> 00:22:45,754
(Sam)
get gary! Get gary!
35480
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