All language subtitles for Cheers - 821 - Bar Wars III - The Return Of Tecumseh

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,648 --> 00:00:04,416 (Woody) cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:04,484 --> 00:00:06,902 Sam, uh, more change, please. 3 00:00:06,970 --> 00:00:10,239 Boy, lilith's really burnin' up the phone there. What's the matter? 4 00:00:10,306 --> 00:00:13,525 Oh, you don't want to hear about our troubles. 5 00:00:13,593 --> 00:00:17,596 Well, then again, since i've suffered through so many of yours... 6 00:00:17,663 --> 00:00:21,316 we're having a devil of a time finding a babysitter for little frederick. 7 00:00:21,383 --> 00:00:23,451 Jeez, what we wouldn't give to get away together. 8 00:00:23,519 --> 00:00:25,921 Oh, me, too. I live for that. 9 00:00:25,989 --> 00:00:27,739 Really? Y-y-you could use a vacation? 10 00:00:27,806 --> 00:00:29,891 No. I want you guys to go away. 11 00:00:31,878 --> 00:00:35,096 So, you don't have any relatives or friends you can ask to watch the baby? 12 00:00:35,164 --> 00:00:37,365 Oh, well, i-i'd gladly ask my parents. 13 00:00:37,433 --> 00:00:38,917 Of course, they're dead. 14 00:00:39,669 --> 00:00:42,037 Well, as for friends, i... 15 00:00:42,054 --> 00:00:43,621 sorry. Stupid question. 16 00:00:45,041 --> 00:00:46,325 Frasier, good news. 17 00:00:46,392 --> 00:00:49,227 I finally found a woman with whom we can leave our baby for one night. 18 00:00:49,295 --> 00:00:50,729 Oh, great. Tell me about her. 19 00:00:50,797 --> 00:00:53,164 Well, she's 79 years old, 20 00:00:53,232 --> 00:00:55,801 she can't see her hands without her glasses, 21 00:00:55,869 --> 00:00:59,104 but she assures me she can smell smoke. 22 00:00:59,171 --> 00:01:02,007 Lilith, this is wonderful. At last we'll have a night alone together. 23 00:01:02,074 --> 00:01:03,825 Yes, it's just what we need. 24 00:01:03,893 --> 00:01:05,127 Our relationship is at a point 25 00:01:05,194 --> 00:01:06,528 where the rekindling of romance 26 00:01:06,596 --> 00:01:08,130 is both appropriate and welcome, 27 00:01:08,197 --> 00:01:10,132 to say nothing of timely. 28 00:01:10,199 --> 00:01:12,434 Well, stop, lilith. You're getting me hot. 29 00:01:21,294 --> 00:01:23,578 ¶ Making your way in the world today ¶ 30 00:01:23,646 --> 00:01:26,698 ¶ takes everything you've got ¶ 31 00:01:26,766 --> 00:01:29,467 ¶ taking a break from all your worries ¶ 32 00:01:29,535 --> 00:01:31,503 ¶ sure would help a lot 33 00:01:32,939 --> 00:01:35,840 ¶ wouldn't you like to get away ¶ 34 00:01:38,711 --> 00:01:40,762 ¶ sometimes you want to go 35 00:01:40,797 --> 00:01:44,365 ¶ where everybody knows your name ¶ 36 00:01:46,235 --> 00:01:49,171 ¶ and they're always glad you came ¶ 37 00:01:50,673 --> 00:01:53,074 ¶ you wanna be where you can see ¶ 38 00:01:53,142 --> 00:01:55,944 ¶ our troubles are all the same ¶ 39 00:01:56,012 --> 00:01:59,580 ¶ you wanna be where everybody knows your name ¶ 40 00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:03,602 ¶ you wanna go where people know ¶ 41 00:02:03,669 --> 00:02:06,154 ¶ people are all the same 42 00:02:06,222 --> 00:02:10,491 ¶ you wanna go where everybody knows your name ¶ 43 00:02:29,662 --> 00:02:32,898 hey, cliffie, your beer tastes a little flat today? 44 00:02:33,933 --> 00:02:35,951 No. 45 00:02:36,018 --> 00:02:38,987 I don't know. Seems like it's off by maybe a hop or two. 46 00:02:42,525 --> 00:02:44,042 Well, it probably has something to do 47 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:45,994 with that new, uh, pasteurization process. 48 00:02:46,061 --> 00:02:50,232 You know, they put it in big, uh, sterilized vats... 49 00:02:50,299 --> 00:02:52,334 ahem, yeah, who gives a hoot? 50 00:02:54,820 --> 00:02:57,388 What? No long-winded explanation? 51 00:02:57,456 --> 00:02:58,606 Hmm. 52 00:02:58,674 --> 00:03:00,559 Cliff just isn't himself today, is he? 53 00:03:00,876 --> 00:03:02,126 Well, it's not just mr. Clavin. 54 00:03:02,194 --> 00:03:04,663 I'm feelin' a little strange, too. 55 00:03:04,730 --> 00:03:06,865 In fact, this whole place feels weird. 56 00:03:06,933 --> 00:03:08,800 Well, you know, woody, 57 00:03:08,868 --> 00:03:12,503 the japanese believe that every house has its own energy, 58 00:03:12,572 --> 00:03:14,639 what they call its wa. 59 00:03:14,707 --> 00:03:16,808 Now, eastern culture submits 60 00:03:16,876 --> 00:03:19,177 that if this wa is somehow in disorder, 61 00:03:19,244 --> 00:03:22,697 everyone that enters therein will feel a sense of disconnection. 62 00:03:22,765 --> 00:03:24,483 Mr. Clavin, i know why you're not yourself. 63 00:03:24,550 --> 00:03:26,418 Dr. Crane is yourself. 64 00:03:30,055 --> 00:03:31,757 Damn it. 65 00:03:31,824 --> 00:03:34,293 These decorations are all wrong. 66 00:03:35,561 --> 00:03:36,795 This is st. Patrick's day, 67 00:03:36,862 --> 00:03:38,529 the busiest night of the year, 68 00:03:38,597 --> 00:03:41,766 and our name is misspelled on every single item. 69 00:03:41,834 --> 00:03:44,937 "Faith & begorrah, from your friends at chees." 70 00:03:50,275 --> 00:03:54,178 Rebecca, the decorations are the least of our problems. 71 00:03:54,246 --> 00:03:55,563 I agree. 72 00:03:55,631 --> 00:03:57,649 You're right, norm. I think unpaid bar tabs 73 00:03:57,716 --> 00:04:00,451 come a lot higher on our priority list. 74 00:04:03,422 --> 00:04:06,707 Damn it, would you look at how they misspelled "cheers"? 75 00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:16,168 Uh, what i'm talkin' about is 76 00:04:16,235 --> 00:04:18,620 if you guys want to worry about somethin', 77 00:04:18,687 --> 00:04:21,723 why don't you worry about what evil, rotten practical joke 78 00:04:21,791 --> 00:04:24,659 gary's old town tavern is gonna play on us this year. 79 00:04:24,727 --> 00:04:28,746 No, no, no, no, no. We're not gonna continue this feud with gary, ok? 80 00:04:28,814 --> 00:04:29,780 What are you talkin' about? 81 00:04:29,848 --> 00:04:31,483 This st. Paddy's day. 82 00:04:31,550 --> 00:04:33,518 It's one of the busiest nights of the year. 83 00:04:33,585 --> 00:04:35,520 It's when gary wheels out the big guns. 84 00:04:35,587 --> 00:04:38,473 He can't do anything worse to us than he did last year, remember that? 85 00:04:38,541 --> 00:04:39,841 The place was packed 86 00:04:39,859 --> 00:04:43,712 and gary and his goons filled our stairwell with potatoes. 87 00:04:43,779 --> 00:04:46,081 Yeah, just my luck, i was sittin' on the bottom step 88 00:04:46,148 --> 00:04:48,933 tying my shoe at the time. 89 00:04:49,001 --> 00:04:52,236 Lucky for me you guys were able to dig me out. 90 00:04:52,304 --> 00:04:56,207 I'd hate to be the 2nd member of my family buried alive by potatoes. 91 00:05:01,814 --> 00:05:04,148 Well, this year things are gonna be different. 92 00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:05,450 Now, after that potato incident, 93 00:05:05,518 --> 00:05:07,635 i went over there and i had a little chat with gary. 94 00:05:07,703 --> 00:05:10,338 I said we gotta cool it because this stuff is ruining our business, 95 00:05:10,406 --> 00:05:11,890 and he agreed. 96 00:05:11,957 --> 00:05:15,527 So we drew up this little document to that effect. 97 00:05:15,529 --> 00:05:18,613 "We, the managers of cheers and gary's old town tavern, 98 00:05:18,681 --> 00:05:21,015 do solemnly swear to cut it out." 99 00:05:22,067 --> 00:05:24,102 That ought to hold up in court. 100 00:05:25,905 --> 00:05:28,106 I'll have to do something about these decorations. 101 00:05:28,174 --> 00:05:29,408 What are you going to do, replace 'em? 102 00:05:29,475 --> 00:05:31,243 (Rebecca) no, there's no time for that. 103 00:05:31,310 --> 00:05:34,296 I have to go to the deli and buy some cheese. 104 00:05:34,363 --> 00:05:36,197 People will be expecting it. 105 00:05:39,952 --> 00:05:42,137 Can i fill up your beer there for you, norm? 106 00:05:42,204 --> 00:05:45,173 Uh, no, thanks. I'm not quite finished with this one. 107 00:05:50,429 --> 00:05:52,697 I'm sorry, i'm sorry. I'm full. 108 00:05:53,933 --> 00:05:55,517 Aw, man, that-that's it. 109 00:05:55,584 --> 00:05:57,769 You know, what--what's going on around here today? 110 00:05:57,836 --> 00:05:59,354 Everybody's actin' weird. 111 00:05:59,421 --> 00:06:01,807 It's time to give old tecumseh a belly rub. There you go. 112 00:06:01,908 --> 00:06:03,241 Who's tecumseh? 113 00:06:03,308 --> 00:06:05,377 You know, the old wooden indian by the door. 114 00:06:05,445 --> 00:06:06,912 Isn't that phil? 115 00:06:11,734 --> 00:06:14,685 Where--where is he? Did--did you guys move him? 116 00:06:16,155 --> 00:06:17,839 Well, spread out. 117 00:06:17,907 --> 00:06:21,025 We got to find him here, guys. This is very weird. 118 00:06:21,093 --> 00:06:22,910 I could swear i saw him here yesterday, 119 00:06:22,978 --> 00:06:25,563 and the day before and the day before that. 120 00:06:25,631 --> 00:06:27,582 No, no, no. That was me. 121 00:06:29,702 --> 00:06:32,404 Sammy, he's not here. 122 00:06:32,472 --> 00:06:37,025 Who in his right mind would want to walk off with tecumseh? 123 00:06:37,093 --> 00:06:38,126 (All) gary. 124 00:06:38,194 --> 00:06:39,894 Oh, man. 125 00:06:39,962 --> 00:06:41,379 Boy, you know, fun is fun, 126 00:06:41,447 --> 00:06:44,816 and i like being humiliated as much as the next guy, but... 127 00:06:44,883 --> 00:06:47,586 yeah, but this, taking tecumseh, that-- 128 00:06:47,653 --> 00:06:50,489 that crosses the line! Sammy's right. 129 00:06:50,523 --> 00:06:53,040 I'll tell you what, he can take cliffie, he can strip him naked, 130 00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:55,160 he can paint him green, tie him up like a shamrock, 131 00:06:55,227 --> 00:06:56,928 drag him through the streets of boston, 132 00:06:56,996 --> 00:06:59,631 but this is going too far. 133 00:06:59,698 --> 00:07:01,816 This time, it's personal. 134 00:07:02,718 --> 00:07:03,919 Hey. 135 00:07:03,986 --> 00:07:06,538 (All) get gary! Get gary! Get gary! 136 00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:14,014 [People chattering] 137 00:07:18,085 --> 00:07:20,670 ah, st. Paddy's day, 138 00:07:20,738 --> 00:07:24,625 the day st. Patrick drove all the snakes out of ireland. 139 00:07:24,692 --> 00:07:28,295 Boy, if that isn't the biggest freudian dream of all time. 140 00:07:30,581 --> 00:07:32,666 Oh, 5 more irish coffees, woody. 141 00:07:32,734 --> 00:07:35,569 Oh, gosh, i wish sam would hurry back from gary's. 142 00:07:35,637 --> 00:07:37,070 I'm at my wit's end here. 143 00:07:37,138 --> 00:07:38,505 How can you tell? 144 00:07:41,926 --> 00:07:43,293 Hello, duckling. 145 00:07:43,361 --> 00:07:44,928 Sugarpants. 146 00:07:47,598 --> 00:07:51,217 I've been anxiously awaiting our appointed rendezvous. 147 00:07:51,285 --> 00:07:54,020 Hey, dr. Crane, mrs. Dr. Crane. 148 00:07:54,088 --> 00:07:56,456 So you guys are here on your night off, huh? 149 00:07:56,524 --> 00:07:59,159 You have a marvelous grasp of the obvious. 150 00:08:01,195 --> 00:08:04,714 Well, that's what comes from working with your hands. 151 00:08:07,484 --> 00:08:09,253 So what are you guys gonna do? 152 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:12,873 Well, we plan to recreate our very first romantic liaison. 153 00:08:12,940 --> 00:08:15,241 If memory serves, we began with a lovely meal at melville's, 154 00:08:15,309 --> 00:08:16,977 and then an after-dinner drink here, 155 00:08:17,045 --> 00:08:18,178 and then we adjourned 156 00:08:18,245 --> 00:08:20,580 to lilith's tastefully decorated condominium 157 00:08:20,648 --> 00:08:22,649 where we engaged in an evening of lovemaking, 158 00:08:22,717 --> 00:08:25,385 which i might say, was rather, um, meaningful. 159 00:08:25,452 --> 00:08:28,121 Not to mention sweet and sweaty. 160 00:08:31,526 --> 00:08:35,195 Well, i'm not hungry, you've had your drink. 161 00:08:35,263 --> 00:08:38,632 I say we jump right to the final stop on our itinerary. 162 00:08:38,699 --> 00:08:39,999 Do you think the people 163 00:08:40,067 --> 00:08:42,402 that live in that condominium now would mind? 164 00:08:44,038 --> 00:08:46,790 I don't see why. We're an attractive couple. 165 00:08:51,229 --> 00:08:53,480 Carla, how come we can't tell miss howe 166 00:08:53,548 --> 00:08:55,165 what sam's doin' to gary? 167 00:08:55,233 --> 00:08:58,302 You know her. She thinks that anything that d-destroys property, 168 00:08:58,369 --> 00:09:01,771 costs money, or wastes time is stupid. 169 00:09:01,839 --> 00:09:04,758 I don't know, she's got an attitude problem. 170 00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:07,878 Yeah, what is with her? 171 00:09:07,945 --> 00:09:09,363 ¶[Men singing] 172 00:09:10,565 --> 00:09:12,165 ho! Ho! Ho! 173 00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:13,533 Hoo, pow! Hoo, pow! 174 00:09:13,601 --> 00:09:15,168 Pow, hoo! Hoo, pow! 175 00:09:16,837 --> 00:09:18,839 Yo-ho, caballeros. 176 00:09:18,907 --> 00:09:20,641 Did you head them off at the pass? 177 00:09:20,708 --> 00:09:23,209 Oh, yeah. Yeah, we just shut down gary's old town tavern 178 00:09:23,277 --> 00:09:25,445 on one of the busiest bar nights of the year. 179 00:09:25,512 --> 00:09:26,913 [All cheering] 180 00:09:28,966 --> 00:09:30,717 yep. 181 00:09:30,785 --> 00:09:32,853 Yeah, we got padlocks on all the doors, front and back. 182 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,688 We got toxic spill warning signs, 183 00:09:34,756 --> 00:09:37,090 we have police tapes blocking off all the entrances. 184 00:09:37,157 --> 00:09:40,227 I mean, people are gonna be afraid to drive down the streets. 185 00:09:40,229 --> 00:09:41,595 [All cheering] 186 00:09:41,662 --> 00:09:43,964 oh, and, uh, to top it all off, 187 00:09:44,032 --> 00:09:47,668 my friend normie here sent 38 pizzas over to gary's house. 188 00:09:47,735 --> 00:09:49,502 Actually, i've sent 'em over to my house. 189 00:09:49,571 --> 00:09:51,004 So if anyone wants to come over, 190 00:09:51,072 --> 00:09:52,906 remember, we got to get to 'em before vera. 191 00:09:52,974 --> 00:09:54,942 Otherwise we got nothing left but the crust. 192 00:09:55,009 --> 00:09:56,543 [All chattering] 193 00:10:02,349 --> 00:10:03,416 morning, everyone. 194 00:10:03,484 --> 00:10:04,484 (Sam) hey, hey. 195 00:10:04,551 --> 00:10:05,668 (All) norm! 196 00:10:05,736 --> 00:10:07,437 What are you up to, norm? 197 00:10:07,505 --> 00:10:10,123 My ideal weight, if i were 11 feet tall. 198 00:10:16,764 --> 00:10:20,283 So, we have any retaliation from the old garmeister? 199 00:10:20,351 --> 00:10:21,584 No, no, no, no. 200 00:10:21,652 --> 00:10:23,753 But that's because we outsmarted him once again. 201 00:10:23,821 --> 00:10:26,957 We had a man inside the whole time. 202 00:10:27,024 --> 00:10:28,524 (Norm) all right. 203 00:10:28,592 --> 00:10:32,095 Yep. I stood exactly where tecumseh stands all night long. 204 00:10:32,163 --> 00:10:34,597 It's given me a new appreciation for tecumseh 205 00:10:34,665 --> 00:10:36,466 and everything he does for us. 206 00:10:36,534 --> 00:10:38,618 You stood there all night long? 207 00:10:38,686 --> 00:10:40,787 What a stupid thing to do. 208 00:10:41,472 --> 00:10:42,772 Oh, yeah? 209 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,491 I stand there for one night 210 00:10:44,558 --> 00:10:46,126 and you think that's stupid? 211 00:10:46,193 --> 00:10:48,895 He stands there for years, and you rub him for luck. 212 00:10:48,963 --> 00:10:51,164 Who's the stupid one, carla? 213 00:10:57,888 --> 00:11:00,007 Hey, i hear you guys shut down gary's last night. 214 00:11:00,074 --> 00:11:02,291 Oh, now, he started it when he stole tecumseh. 215 00:11:02,359 --> 00:11:03,526 When you draw first blood like that, 216 00:11:03,594 --> 00:11:04,761 you got to expect anything to happen. 217 00:11:04,829 --> 00:11:05,862 (Norm) right. 218 00:11:05,930 --> 00:11:07,014 [Chuckles] 219 00:11:07,081 --> 00:11:08,715 hey, hey, hey, hey. What? 220 00:11:08,782 --> 00:11:10,517 (Cliff) they're bringing tecumseh back. 221 00:11:10,585 --> 00:11:12,368 Oh, yeah! 222 00:11:12,436 --> 00:11:13,953 We brought gary to his knees 223 00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:17,089 and now he's returning our statue as a token of surrender! 224 00:11:17,157 --> 00:11:18,441 [All whooping] 225 00:11:18,509 --> 00:11:19,793 [all cheering] 226 00:11:20,995 --> 00:11:23,496 oh, good. Tecumseh's back. 227 00:11:23,564 --> 00:11:25,031 Yep. Gary sent him. 228 00:11:25,099 --> 00:11:26,867 Gary? No, i had him revarnished. 229 00:11:26,934 --> 00:11:29,635 Doesn't he look shiny and new? 230 00:11:29,703 --> 00:11:30,770 You wanna sign for this, lady? 231 00:11:30,838 --> 00:11:32,205 Sure. 232 00:11:34,825 --> 00:11:37,844 Uh, say, rebecca, 233 00:11:39,096 --> 00:11:42,031 so you mean that--that--that gary had nothing to do 234 00:11:42,099 --> 00:11:43,817 with tecumseh being missing? 235 00:11:43,884 --> 00:11:45,218 Absolutely not. 236 00:11:46,086 --> 00:11:47,086 Uh-oh. 237 00:11:49,373 --> 00:11:51,858 What's wrong? 238 00:11:51,926 --> 00:11:56,546 We shut down gary's bar on one of the busiest nights of the year. 239 00:11:56,614 --> 00:11:59,132 We did that for no good reason at all. 240 00:12:01,752 --> 00:12:04,304 What? What are you talk-- what did you do? 241 00:12:04,371 --> 00:12:07,373 Well, uh, sweetheart, 242 00:12:07,441 --> 00:12:11,144 you remember this, uh, treaty you and gary signed? 243 00:12:11,212 --> 00:12:12,212 Yes. 244 00:12:13,047 --> 00:12:16,399 Gentlemen, we're at war. 245 00:12:28,473 --> 00:12:31,158 I don't understand why you guys think it is so cool 246 00:12:31,225 --> 00:12:33,460 to play these stupid practical jokes. 247 00:12:33,528 --> 00:12:36,329 Honey, it's what keeps the child in us alive. 248 00:12:38,249 --> 00:12:42,252 Otherwise, we'd be just mature adults. 249 00:12:42,319 --> 00:12:45,038 Yeah. I'd lie awake at night worrying about that one. 250 00:12:46,457 --> 00:12:47,757 Listen to me, all of you, 251 00:12:47,825 --> 00:12:50,827 i want you to call gary right now and apologize 252 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:53,029 before he gets the idea of getting even 253 00:12:53,097 --> 00:12:54,197 and blows us to bits 254 00:12:54,265 --> 00:12:56,934 with an all-in-good-fun toilet explosion. 255 00:12:58,385 --> 00:13:00,353 You're right. There's that attitude. 256 00:13:02,957 --> 00:13:04,624 Apologize. Yeah, right. 257 00:13:04,725 --> 00:13:06,126 A lot of good that would do. 258 00:13:06,193 --> 00:13:09,313 Gary just gets meaner when he smells weakness. 259 00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:11,098 I got to respect the guy. 260 00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:14,067 Well, one thing is clear, he's gonna retaliate, ok. 261 00:13:14,135 --> 00:13:17,104 In fact, he may have already put some deadly plan in action. 262 00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:20,740 This beer you just poured me, sam, could be filled with toxins. 263 00:13:20,742 --> 00:13:21,742 So what do we do? 264 00:13:21,809 --> 00:13:23,660 We take our chances. 265 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,481 Hey, woody, 266 00:13:27,483 --> 00:13:29,216 open that door there and see if gary's done anything 267 00:13:29,283 --> 00:13:31,568 to the outside of the bar, will you? 268 00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:37,291 Snow. 269 00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:43,864 Gary made it snow. 270 00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:49,219 Gary can't make it snow, grain brain. 271 00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:50,537 Oh, it's a good thing, 272 00:13:50,605 --> 00:13:53,139 'cause we'd never be able to top that. 273 00:13:54,576 --> 00:13:56,994 Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. 274 00:13:57,061 --> 00:13:59,496 He may have planted somebody in the bar. 275 00:13:59,564 --> 00:14:00,864 Now, you see any strange faces? 276 00:14:00,932 --> 00:14:03,183 Just, uh, glance around nonchalantly. 277 00:14:03,251 --> 00:14:05,502 Come on, gary's smarter than that. 278 00:14:05,569 --> 00:14:07,520 He knows we'd be on the lookout for a stranger. 279 00:14:07,588 --> 00:14:09,256 So he'd plant somebody we do know. 280 00:14:09,323 --> 00:14:13,860 Yeah, probably try to turn one of our own against us. 281 00:14:13,928 --> 00:14:17,347 So the idea is, who do we suspect the least? 282 00:14:19,050 --> 00:14:20,650 I think it's me. 283 00:14:23,037 --> 00:14:27,307 Oh. Come on, woody. 284 00:14:27,374 --> 00:14:30,143 How could gary turn you against us? 285 00:14:30,211 --> 00:14:32,312 I don't know. But if he can make it snow-- 286 00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:34,565 he didn't make it snow! He didn't make it snow, you idiot! 287 00:14:34,632 --> 00:14:37,201 All right, just calm down. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down. 288 00:14:37,268 --> 00:14:38,735 Look, i just can't help it, sam. 289 00:14:38,803 --> 00:14:41,622 It's this waiting. It's making me crazy. 290 00:14:41,689 --> 00:14:44,941 I mean, you know gary. He always retaliates. I know, i know. 291 00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,993 And with great cruelty and force 292 00:14:47,061 --> 00:14:49,462 and always within 24 hours. 293 00:14:49,530 --> 00:14:52,182 Boy, i really do respect that guy. 294 00:14:52,249 --> 00:14:53,750 (Norm) carla's absolutely right. 295 00:14:53,818 --> 00:14:55,218 Every time that damn door opens, 296 00:14:55,286 --> 00:14:57,604 i keep thinking to myself, this could be the big one. 297 00:14:57,672 --> 00:14:59,323 Excuse me. 298 00:15:00,324 --> 00:15:01,859 Is the manager here? 299 00:15:02,576 --> 00:15:04,745 Why? Who wants to know? 300 00:15:04,812 --> 00:15:06,463 I'm the fire marshal. 301 00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:08,865 You're due for your routine 6-month inspection 302 00:15:08,933 --> 00:15:11,735 for safety code violations. 303 00:15:11,802 --> 00:15:12,586 Oh. 304 00:15:12,653 --> 00:15:13,920 [Laughing] 305 00:15:15,223 --> 00:15:19,292 ahem, well, we're really glad you're here. 306 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,561 Why don't you have a seat? 307 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,129 Can i take your hat? Thanks. 308 00:15:23,197 --> 00:15:24,380 Sure. 309 00:15:24,448 --> 00:15:26,583 Yeah, you probably want to be checking 310 00:15:26,651 --> 00:15:30,186 if this fire extinguisher is fully operational. 311 00:15:30,254 --> 00:15:31,704 Of course. Ok. 312 00:15:39,713 --> 00:15:41,581 What are you doing? 313 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,950 Well, this hat is now up to code. 314 00:15:47,588 --> 00:15:49,022 What are you doing? 315 00:15:50,591 --> 00:15:52,759 Well, we're just-- we're just, uh, 316 00:15:52,761 --> 00:15:54,894 demonstrating our fire preparedness. 317 00:15:54,962 --> 00:15:56,730 Gentlemen, uh, seltzer drill. 318 00:15:56,798 --> 00:15:58,781 (All) seltzer drill! 319 00:15:58,849 --> 00:16:00,517 Hup! Seltzer drill. 320 00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:03,587 Yo! Yo! Whoa. 321 00:16:07,024 --> 00:16:08,525 [Laughing] 322 00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:10,327 what are you doing? 323 00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,699 Oh. 324 00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:18,201 These--these pants were a tinderbox. 325 00:16:19,403 --> 00:16:20,520 You guys are crazy. 326 00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:22,272 Yeah. Whoo! 327 00:16:22,340 --> 00:16:24,140 ¶[All singing] 328 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:26,910 whoo! 329 00:16:28,629 --> 00:16:30,463 (Rebecca) sam, excuse me. 330 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,015 Will you be sure to let me know 331 00:16:32,083 --> 00:16:34,167 when the fire marshal gets here? 332 00:16:37,088 --> 00:16:38,538 Fi-fire marshal? 333 00:16:38,606 --> 00:16:42,559 Yes. We're due for our routine 6-month inspection. 334 00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:44,911 Be sure and tell me when he gets here. 335 00:16:44,979 --> 00:16:49,132 Oh, don't worry. I--i have a feeling he'll be in touch. 336 00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:52,535 Guys, guys, guys, guys, we're going nuts here. 337 00:16:52,603 --> 00:16:54,370 I tell you, man, it's just sheer luck 338 00:16:54,672 --> 00:16:57,156 that--that no one was hurt in this situation, 339 00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:59,543 other than rebecca. 340 00:16:59,610 --> 00:17:02,495 Wait, wait, wait, wait. This might be part of gary's master plan. 341 00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:03,813 What? What is? 342 00:17:03,881 --> 00:17:05,716 Yeah, keep us on the edge, put us off balance. 343 00:17:05,783 --> 00:17:08,735 Yeah, mr. Clavin's right. You know, i think gary's probably playing with us, 344 00:17:08,803 --> 00:17:10,503 like a rat with a mouse. 345 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,889 That's cat and mouse, woody. 346 00:17:12,957 --> 00:17:14,708 Cat and mouse. 347 00:17:14,776 --> 00:17:17,027 Sam, a cat and a mouse don't play together. 348 00:17:17,094 --> 00:17:18,195 They're mortal enemies. 349 00:17:18,262 --> 00:17:20,464 They don't even know the same games. 350 00:17:22,633 --> 00:17:24,501 Think before you speak, sam. 351 00:17:24,618 --> 00:17:27,737 All right, all right, all right, but what do we do about gary, all right? 352 00:17:27,805 --> 00:17:30,107 What are we supposed to do? Just sit here and wait and worry? 353 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:31,908 Well, what other choice do we have? 354 00:17:31,976 --> 00:17:33,326 Fail-safe. What? 355 00:17:33,394 --> 00:17:35,461 Huh? Sure, fail-safe. 356 00:17:35,529 --> 00:17:39,800 Our situation here greatly parallels that film of the early 1960s 357 00:17:39,867 --> 00:17:42,468 that delighted and, uh, disturbed audiences of that time. 358 00:17:42,536 --> 00:17:45,037 So your idea is we-- we schneid ourselves 359 00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,340 before gary does it to us? 360 00:17:47,475 --> 00:17:49,008 Should do something to ourselves 361 00:17:49,076 --> 00:17:50,811 to get back for what we did to gary? 362 00:17:50,878 --> 00:17:53,196 Oh, that's crazy. Come on. 363 00:17:53,264 --> 00:17:55,081 All right, wait--wait-- wait a minute. 364 00:17:55,149 --> 00:17:58,234 It might just convince gary not to do anything to us. 365 00:17:58,302 --> 00:18:00,787 We'd be the master of our own fate. Yeah. 366 00:18:00,855 --> 00:18:02,605 And, fellows, bottom line is, 367 00:18:02,673 --> 00:18:05,258 we'd be getting it over with. All right. 368 00:18:05,326 --> 00:18:06,676 (Sam) what do you think? 369 00:18:06,678 --> 00:18:08,010 I'll buy it. All right, sammy's right. 370 00:18:08,162 --> 00:18:09,696 I say we screw ourselves! 371 00:18:09,764 --> 00:18:11,564 (All) screw ourselves! Screw ourselves! 372 00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,033 Screw ourselves! 373 00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:20,673 Carla, where are sam and woody? 374 00:18:20,741 --> 00:18:22,775 Oh, you'll find out soon enough. 375 00:18:22,843 --> 00:18:25,277 Don't worry your flat little head about it. 376 00:18:26,446 --> 00:18:28,280 You did not answer my question, 377 00:18:28,348 --> 00:18:31,150 and for your information, my head is not flat. 378 00:18:38,859 --> 00:18:41,093 All right, but it's not little. 379 00:18:47,351 --> 00:18:51,154 Say, carla, uh, where's the inner circle? 380 00:18:51,222 --> 00:18:54,207 Oh, uh, sammy and the guys had to do something, 381 00:18:54,274 --> 00:18:55,992 but they'll be back soon. 382 00:18:56,059 --> 00:18:57,827 Oh, don't tell me i missed something. 383 00:18:57,895 --> 00:18:59,562 No. 384 00:18:59,564 --> 00:19:01,247 Now, carla, i expressly posted my beeper number. 385 00:19:01,315 --> 00:19:04,134 If anything juicy happens, i'm to be paged. 386 00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,103 Frasier, an observation. 387 00:19:07,171 --> 00:19:09,956 You are spending way too much time here. 388 00:19:13,928 --> 00:19:15,978 So, uh, how was your night off? 389 00:19:16,046 --> 00:19:19,215 Bet you spent a lot of time worrying about that kid of yours, huh? 390 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,200 No, not a bit. We had a wonderful time. 391 00:19:21,268 --> 00:19:22,502 We knew he was in good hands. 392 00:19:22,570 --> 00:19:24,571 So we just sat back and relaxed. 393 00:19:24,638 --> 00:19:27,858 Well, had a much needed and healthy night away from him. 394 00:19:27,925 --> 00:19:29,558 Oh, that's terrific. 395 00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,661 Oh, by the way, your sitter called 396 00:19:31,728 --> 00:19:34,363 and she said that frederick rolled over by himself 397 00:19:34,431 --> 00:19:35,698 for the first time. 398 00:19:35,766 --> 00:19:37,250 What? And we missed it? 399 00:19:37,317 --> 00:19:39,669 We must be the worst parents in the world. 400 00:19:39,737 --> 00:19:44,257 Frasier, let's rush home, fall to our knees and beg his forgiveness. 401 00:19:44,324 --> 00:19:46,926 I'll never get over this, not until the day i die. 402 00:19:46,994 --> 00:19:50,279 New parents, they're always suckers for that gag. 403 00:19:54,652 --> 00:19:56,753 Well, my friends, we did it. 404 00:19:57,454 --> 00:19:58,939 We've saved the bar. 405 00:19:59,006 --> 00:20:00,423 [All cheering] 406 00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:03,560 (sam) where's the photographer? 407 00:20:03,627 --> 00:20:04,711 Are you the guys? 408 00:20:04,778 --> 00:20:06,196 No, we are the men. 409 00:20:06,263 --> 00:20:09,532 Now, take a photograph of us in all our glory here. 410 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,085 Gentlemen, step right up in a line. 411 00:20:12,153 --> 00:20:14,137 All right. Yeah. Get right... there we go. 412 00:20:14,205 --> 00:20:16,956 Ok, smile, men. This is for the sunday paper. 413 00:20:17,625 --> 00:20:19,125 Fellas, count of 3. 414 00:20:19,192 --> 00:20:21,761 1, 2, 3. 415 00:20:23,797 --> 00:20:25,131 [Camera clicking] 416 00:20:31,872 --> 00:20:33,273 and here we go. 417 00:20:34,908 --> 00:20:36,542 [Camera clicking] 418 00:20:39,296 --> 00:20:42,548 ok. I got it. Thanks, guys. Hope it grows back. 419 00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:44,834 Doesn't always, you know. 420 00:20:44,985 --> 00:20:46,819 (Carla) man, you guys! 421 00:20:46,887 --> 00:20:48,337 You know, when i dreamed this gag up, 422 00:20:48,405 --> 00:20:50,907 i never thought you were gonna go through with it. 423 00:20:50,974 --> 00:20:54,361 I just thought you'd get some rubber skull caps or something. 424 00:20:54,445 --> 00:20:56,529 Hey, come on, give us a little credit here, will you? 425 00:20:56,596 --> 00:20:59,999 When a man has a dirty job to do, he does it. 426 00:21:00,067 --> 00:21:02,385 W-wait a minute, what's that behind your ear? 427 00:21:02,452 --> 00:21:05,355 Nothing. No, no, don't take it off. No, no, no, no, no, no. 428 00:21:05,422 --> 00:21:07,556 [All exclaiming] 429 00:21:07,624 --> 00:21:08,858 what the hell? 430 00:21:08,926 --> 00:21:11,544 Guys, we're talking about my hair. 431 00:21:13,447 --> 00:21:15,331 Oh, yeah. So? 432 00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:19,285 Without my hair, i'd be just just one of you guys. 433 00:21:19,352 --> 00:21:20,753 Pardon me, sammy, 434 00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:24,073 if that fails to bring a tear to my eye! 435 00:21:24,141 --> 00:21:28,444 Fellas, i tried to do it, i swear to god, but, man, i love my hair. 436 00:21:28,512 --> 00:21:29,562 All right, fine. 437 00:21:29,630 --> 00:21:31,397 You got a problem with this? Yeah! 438 00:21:31,465 --> 00:21:33,316 Let's just step outside right now. 439 00:21:33,384 --> 00:21:34,216 [Men clamoring] 440 00:21:34,218 --> 00:21:36,602 oh, no, wait, hang on a second, here, huh? 441 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:39,038 What are we doin' to ourselves? 442 00:21:39,105 --> 00:21:41,641 I mean, it's bad enough that gary made us look like fools, 443 00:21:41,709 --> 00:21:43,343 and now we're fightin' amongst ourselves. 444 00:21:43,410 --> 00:21:45,244 This is not part of the deal. 445 00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:48,347 Yeah, woody's right. 446 00:21:48,415 --> 00:21:50,183 Thank you, mr. Peterson. 447 00:21:50,250 --> 00:21:51,384 Now, let's just relax, 448 00:21:51,451 --> 00:21:53,553 shave sam's head, and discuss this... 449 00:21:53,620 --> 00:21:56,322 [all shouting] 450 00:21:56,390 --> 00:21:58,791 hey, hey, guys, listen up, listen up. I've got great news. 451 00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:00,393 Yeah, listen up. Now, listen, there's no need 452 00:22:00,460 --> 00:22:02,645 to retaliate against ourselves. 453 00:22:02,713 --> 00:22:03,746 What do you mean? 454 00:22:03,814 --> 00:22:06,466 Gary's has been closed for the last month. 455 00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:09,101 He's in florida, while his place is being remodeled. 456 00:22:09,169 --> 00:22:11,571 He wasn't even open on st. Patrick's day. 457 00:22:11,638 --> 00:22:14,540 He doesn't even know you guys did anything to him. 458 00:22:14,608 --> 00:22:16,375 Isn't that a howl? 459 00:22:19,330 --> 00:22:21,948 This is the worst thing gary's ever done. 460 00:22:22,015 --> 00:22:24,784 We've got to teach gary a lesson. 461 00:22:24,852 --> 00:22:27,887 He must never do nothing again. 462 00:22:29,373 --> 00:22:31,357 Men, there's only one thing left to do. 463 00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:32,592 Get gary. 464 00:22:32,660 --> 00:22:36,312 (All) get gary! Get gary! Get gary! 465 00:22:36,380 --> 00:22:38,047 First, we shave sammy! 466 00:22:38,115 --> 00:22:40,165 No, get gary! Shave sammy! Shave sammy! 467 00:22:40,233 --> 00:22:41,718 Shave sammy! 468 00:22:41,785 --> 00:22:43,185 Get gary! 469 00:22:43,253 --> 00:22:45,754 (Sam) get gary! Get gary! 35480

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